#and that admitting that i lack knowledge or opinion rather than masking that with false confidence is better in the long run

[moomeecore]

im actually really good at admitting when i dont know things its just that people keep talking to me about things that i know a lot about and am objectively correct on

[mynarcissticex]

The Narcissist has two selves. To understand the complexity of this look at the Narcissist as having a dual personality. There is the false self and the true inner self. The false self is the defense mechanism that was enacted from when they were a child typically from abuse or neglect or from being overvalued making them feel entitled. Since the true inner self never leaves a person but is hidden in their subconscious mind there is the constant battle to project their false self out on to the world giving them a feeling of superiority and a grandiose persona. However since we are ruled by our subconscious mind as is the case with the Narcissist; they are constantly left with an inner void; a “black hole devoid of empathy and feeling love or loved. Here in lies there weakness.

Imagine for a moment what it feels like to have to constantly suppress your true self at all times for fear of feeling worthless or for fear of being abandoned or neglected? And then imagine knowing you must constantly put up a false front to the world to feel accepted or superior to others. The Narcissist knows who and what they are but doesn't care so long as that true wounded inner child is never revealed to the world. They will stop at nothing to preserve that self image even if it is at the cost of damaging good people in the process along the way. Since they have shut off their true emotions so long ago they will do anything and everything possible to prevent a Narcissistic injury from being incurred. So much so that they will hide their devious lying, cheating, projecting, gas lighting and triangulation from the world. Their true demeanor is only shown to those closest to them like their romantic partners or children or siblings. There is no depth that they will not go to to prevent the outside world from seeing this vile side of theirs and is contained so well that their victims are never believed when they do come forward to expose them. They act covertly and behind the scenes to prevent at all costs their false self being exposed to the world.

Their primary source of supply is not from their partner. For their partner is only an object upon who they can spew their venom on to who can easily be replaced at any time. Thus their partner is their secondary source of supply. Their primary source of supply is the external validation they get from either their coworkers, acquaintances (“aka flying moneys’ or “minions”) as the narcissist has no real friends; and from their short sexual affairs. This primary source is validation of their grandiose false image fueling them with constant supply. They are never privy to seeing the vile Narcissistic persona as they are never around the Narcissist for long enough stretches of time to see it. Also it easier for the Narcissist to keep their mask on for shorter spurts around these people so not to reveal their false persona.

To answer the question as to what makes them feel weak there are only two things from my vast knowledge of having lived with a Narcissist and having researched the disorder for well over a year and that is as follows.

The Narcissist fears being publicly exposed to his primary sources of supply. Whether that be humiliated in public in front of their minions or via social media as in a blog or Facebook where it can be seen by many. This delivers a severe Narcissistic injury to them and leaves them scrambling to cover up their image by telling grandiose lies about their victim to retain their false persona of perfectionism and self righteousness. However if they are put in this position expect the Narcissist to not only strike back with a vicious smear campaign but to retaliate with a vengeance as no Narcissistic injury can go unpunished as they must win at all costs; especially when it comes to keeping their reputation intact.

The Narcissist has a lack of good constant secondary source of supply to spew his/her venom on to. See a Narcissist must constantly be moving at all times like a Great white shark must move its entire life. Whether that mean preoccupying their time with work, music, tv, social media, substances like alcohol or drugs, a steady romantic partner…. I mean victim, or going out to night clubs or bars or at a gym. If the Narcissist sits idle for too long it allows them too much time for self reflection which must be avoided at all costs! To self reflect would make them have to face their true inner self/wounded inner child and would cause them not only a severe Narcissistic injury but will cause them to suffer from depression and severe anxiety to see the counterfeit selves they really are! So a lack of constant supply in the secondary source will hurt them and is constantly sought after and needed.

The Narcissist since always in a state of suppressing their true inner self feels a void at all times knowing that the grandiose image presented to the world is a fake. A phony needs a supply to validate their false persona. However, once they attain a good source of supply they must devalue it for they can not maintain their mask indefinitely. Covert Narcissists can do this for longer periods of time as opposed to overt ones but inherently their mask will fall off thus revealing their vile and horrific personalities and behaviors. The reason they do this is a very sick and twisted never ending cycle inherent to all Cluster B personality disordered individuals but in my opinion none more worse than the Narcissist. They are constantly looking for validation and to be loved for who they are but knowing that they are a fraud and that their victim is showing them true love they wind up despising their victim for possessing traits they wish they could have and feel but know they can never relate to since their real self has been buried and locked away long ago. So they must project their hatred of their false self on to their victims in order for them to feel superior to them. By destroying their victim’s psychologically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually and soulfully they again feel alive and superior to their victims thus suppressing their inner demons that they constantly battle on a daily basis.

It is truly one of the sickest disorders one can ever experience and even worse for their victims to have experienced! Since today's society is so messed up due to children coming from so many broken homes and since it is estimated that 1 in 3 individuals suffers from some form of mental illness/disorders the likelihood of a child forming a disorder due to abuse or inheriting a gene from a parent is extremely grand. That is why it is so important that children who are fortunate enough to come from well rounded homes with non disordered parents must be warned about vampires and soul destroyers like the Narcissist or other Cluster B predators prior to ever entering the dating world so as to protect themselves and be aware that not everyone they meet has their best interest at heart.

Yes the Narcissist is a constantly weak individual spewing venom on those closest to him that love him/her. But the sad reality is that they would rather die with their false persona intact then to face their true inner selves. There is no cure for them and so very few will ever face their inner demons and admit that they have a disorder let alone seek help for it!