#this is a narcissist

[lightofraye]

Wales Comic Con (Part Two)

This may be the second and last, unless something else occurs to me and I go "Oh damn I forgot about this." As it is, I'm impressed at my ability to torture myself and endure listening to Danneel's awful, awful voice. Can someone please tell her to get vocal lessons?

(Part One is here.)

First, a shout out to my daughter for her input and helping me know where to look for anything of note! So... her thoughts are in green, mine are in red.

First 29 minutes, Danneel demeans Jensen 7 times. Interrupts him 3. Jensen is praised only for his looks 2 times.

- 1:40 Mark’s greeting to the audience is hilarious.

- 2:58 The whole time Danneel is talking, Jensen is barely looking at her.

- 3:44 Jensen realizes just how HIGH the auditorium is and hears someone shout something like “Love you Jensen!” And he goes “I love you too.” He also takes the time to be appreciative that Kurt got invited to the convention.

- 6:20 Jensen is asked about which deaths was the hardest, and he definitely quipped that Dean’s hit him the hardest. Then it was cleared up: Which of Dean’s deaths hit him the hardest? He jokes “Death by taco.” (Mystery Spot!) As Jensen is explaining this to Kurt, Danneel… does not look happy. She’s just stone-faced. Oh she smiles here and there, but she’s not liking the spotlight off her. And I cracked up when Samantha starts pretending to throw a fit because, hi, Mary’s death?! Jensen laughs and points out “Let’s go with the one that jumpstarted the whole show!”

- 8:40 Ah. The lives’ question! Which life would the cast want—Sam’s or Dean’s? Danneel picks Sam. Jensen is surprised! Mark jokes “This is going to be a fun weekend!” Jensen: “Do tell.” Danneel explains that Sam is the nicest guy! Jensen: “I mean she’s not wrong.” A fan tries to cover Danneel’s ass by saying it’s because she would get to hang out with Jensen/Dean all the time. Danneel tried to pretend to agree by saying “Didn’t I say that?” No, no you didn’t.

- 9:53 Kurt’s answer. He started… uh, okay. He started by saying he’s hated Jensen in the past. Goes on about Jensen’s hair, about how it’s the best hair he’s ever seen in his life. Oh dear. Jensen’s… definitely uncomfortable. Then says something about Jensen’s jaw. The audience is howling. Kurt tells them to calm down. Danneel’s smug now. I can’t quite catch what Jensen’s saying, but it sounded like he owed Kurt for the compliment, thus comes out Danneel’s “I already paid him.”

- 11:40 (Danneel looks bored here. My gods.) DJ’s answer about being Ellen made me laugh. “She works at a bar!” Samantha looked like she had a laugh out of that. Then Jensen’s joke to Kurt about cushiest schedule.

- 11:57 Jensen’s joke to Kurt about cushiest schedule. Danneel interrupts about “Oh so you wanted to be Sister Jo!” Jensen’s laugh did not sound authentic here. Danneel didn’t like it, judging from how she kept shoving at his shoulder and he refused to look at her. DJ is fidgety and uncomfortable here. Hmm. Jensen’s answer: “Two people—Rowena or Crowley.” He feels they’re so interesting. Being bad but playing for the good guys. And he threw in Soldier Boy, haha! “See what I did there? I wove that back to me, somehow!” More bored Danneel looks. MY GOD WOMAN, it’s your HUSBAND.

- 14:00 As Kurt and Mark are talking about characters, Danneel pulls this “God I’m bored” look. I wanna shake her. Kurt also picked Crowley. Mark loved it!

- 15:17 Mark talks about being Crowley, then points to Jensen about a conversation of sorts they had on a plane once. He talks about how to love Supernatural is to love the Winchester brothers. There was no way around that. YES! Thank you, Mark! (Also his story about his poor stunt double had me laughing.)

- 18:00 Samantha’s answer, haha! “I would like to have been God.”

- 18:20 Ah. Danneel’s bullshit answer about auditioning for any female role. We know you lied, woman! Stop it! Oof. Jensen’s like “Uhm. Yeah.” Hiding his face, hiding his expression. He’s leaning away from her. (Ohh. Samantha intrigues me. She’s all “But it was the perfect role for you.” She’s not sincere. Nope.)

- 19:14 Ah. Danneel’s thing about working with a great actor. Jensen was trying for modesty “Okay, all right!” Then she shoots out with “Mark Pellegrino.” Jensen’s smile is forced and he isn’t looking at her. That stung. And she laughs, patting him hard on the shoulder. Well, a pat/shove and Jensen’s refusing to look at her. Jensen plays off her comment by saying “See, I did you a favor.” In regards to her not getting any role until Sister Jo. He plays along with her lie. Oh Jensen…. He made that dig about himself. And she doesn’t reassure him. Not one bit.

- 20:00 Oh! The supernatural question. Good lord, DJ went off on a spiel. I’m… intrigued. Is he hyper?

- 21:25 Jensen has this “Oh god.” Danneel is smug and amused. Uh oh. I think they’re about to go into the haunted mansion thing again. Yep. I was right. And Danneel keeps interrupting him. Good lord woman, let him talk.Jensen is more practical. (Ditto.) Apparently Danneel will believe anything and everything. That’s… not a good thing, actually. Also, DJ, stop kissing her ass.

- 23:47 Did she… yep. Danneel turned a divining rod into a sexual innuendo. Jensen just keeps avoiding looking at her. She tries to correct herself and just keeps making it worse. Again, she keeps shoving at Jensen’s shoulder. What is with her and that? Mark tries to interrupt about how it’s 15 years of conditioning regarding Jensen. He hears about something haunted and his first thought is to go to the trunk of the car to deal with it.

- 24:45 Ah. The basement story. Danneel interrupts him again—stop doing that and let him talk! And he’s plenty fun—watch him with Jared!First, I wanna know—what’s in the basement that they didn’t have room for in that gigantic house? I mean, seriously. Unless that’s where he’s been living, separate from the rest of the family. It is big enough…. Andddd…. She interrupts him again. Sure, sure, people life, but he’s exasperated by it. He manages to finish the story and yeah, it’s funny.

- 26:13 Ugh. Kurt. No. They’re not cute. Sigh.

- 31:10 HAHA! A fan had a question for Jensen and Mark playfully throws his arms in the air. I’m not 100% sure what the question was—sounded like it was about languages. Jensen quipped he was glad it was mainly Jared who had to do Latin, Sign Language, Lucifer, Soulless, “give it to the big kid”. Haha. “He’s such a nerd.” Ha! Jared or Sam, Jensen? Oh! Jared took Latin in school?! That’s cool! Jensen notes the writers must’ve found out and kept giving more of it to Jared. Jensen said it made him appreciate Jared’s skillset more. Then they segued into DJ and Jensen having to tap dance and the story is making me laugh!

- 35:35 Okay. Now I see why my daughter is critical. But I also understand. Sign language is hard. I grew up with it; I’m fluent in it. I was tested once and was measured at Advanced Intermediate, which is almost natural fluency. (It was for an interpreter job; I had to be certified at language level.) And even then I still don’t know all the signs! I’d have to ask my uncle—who is deaf—and go “What sign is for this word?” So I get it. It’s not easy.

- 38:26 Okay. Stop. I have to say this. Why is Danneel there?! She was in 5 episodes, admitted she didn’t watch the show at all (she lied about knowing Castiel’s lines, etc, for cryin’ out loud!), and so all she can do is just sit there, keep wiggling that damned foot of her, fuss with her fake-ass hair, and nod, as if she knew anything at all!

- 38:59 Okay. I’m cackling at how DJ goes “Don’t make up answers. They already know it!”

- 40:11 Right there, Danneel touches Jensen’s knee. He actually purposefully moves away. Interesting….

- 40:23 Mark: “I remember you singing ‘I’m too sexy for my shirt’. That was phenomenal.” Jensen: “I’ve washed that from my mind.” Haha! And yes, Mark is right. If you hear “Carry On”… something awesome is about to happen.

- 42:10 Last fan question. For Jensen. Mark and Kurt threw their hands in the air. I’m sorry, I laughed. It’s about what it was like switching from Dean to Soldier Boy. We know this is a fib answer. Jensen begins about how Kripke told him to not to do Dean. Jensen’s flabbergasted, because, yeah, he’s spent 15 years being Dean. And I love how he just plays Kripke going, flippantly, “Yeah. Pretty much.” on dropping Dean.

- 43:40 I had to make a separate time stamp for this. Jensen was trying to give a compliment to Danneel (why? She doesn’t deserve it) and Danneel barks into the microphone: “Water!” As though pretending to be Jensen being ‘Dean’ at home. Then she ‘cutely’ adds: “Go get your own water!” Jensen looks away, completely. Jensen: “No, that’s just me acting like an actor.” Yeah, he laughs… but that’s not a real laugh, not the way he gets with Jared or even JDM. It’s not funny at all. And I don’t buy Danneel “helped” him at all. Maybe record, as someone had to hold the damned camera, but it was Kripke who critiqued. Not Danneel. She can’t act her way out of a paper bag.

- 44:00 Kripke giving him the compliment as not seeing Dean in Soldier Boy.

- 45:00 Here Jensen actually asked Mark, Sam, and Kurt their process on being different characters. Kurt follows with an excellent compliment for Jensen about how he was always excellent, always cared, which was a part of the reason why the show lasted so long. Jensen’s deeply moved by this. I’m just in my feels here, y’all.

- 46:58 Now Mark’s compliment. “The lack of self-aggrandizement is—is empirical. It’s absolute. If you want to tell a story, which you do, which all of you do. I’ve watched all of you work. You want to tell a story, that supersedes ‘I want to look cool’. ‘I want to look cool’ is where you go back to the same. It’s when you go ‘how do I go tell the story’ and when that question just goes ‘how do I tell the story ‘that everything changes. And that’s down to the writing and down to the want and the love of the story and the love of what you want to convey. And I’ve been so lucky in my career that I’ve had so many things been given to me and or even written for me which is mind-blowing to me. Going ‘oh my god what do they want from me’ and I know Soldier Boy is like that for you because I’ve watched it. And there’s nary a spot of Dean in that. There’s no… it’s new. It’s something. It’s different. It’s a fully fledged character. And that’s what I expect from you anyway. You know what I mean? It’s what I expect from you. Because you want to tell the story. You know? That’s what I think difference is between the stuff that we like as fans—it’s made with passion, it’s made with love, it’s made with heart. It’s doesn’t always succeed. It isn’t always brilliant. But it’s made with an honesty to itself. As long as we honor that honesty to itself then we as fans, we as lovers, we can truly embrace it and go yeah, there’s something there for me. And that’s the greatest gift we get.” Jensen is truly honored by the compliment. It’s obvious. He doesn’t get compliments a lot at all… damn.

- Danneel is enjoying the attention she receives until 2:42 when Jensen is greeting the fans. She is side-eyeing him with extreme animosity as though he just sole away her spotlight.

- 5:08 Bobby’s death; Danneel interrupts when Jensen starts to answer.

- 9:29 Kurt begins to uplift and praise Jensen… but only for his looks. (???) This causes extreme discomfort for Jensen.

- 9:40 Danneel responds with a dig: “I already paid him.”

- 10:55 Danneel demeans Jensen after he asks “Do we pick characters on how interesting they are or characters who have the cushiest schedule on the planet?” and in doing so, she smacks his shoulder and laughs, “I’m kidding!”

-11:18 Just as Jensen states that he would rather play Rowena or Crowley, Danneel makes a less than pleased expression. Kurt is confused because—Jensen is “The Pretty Boy”. He can’t be “Interesting”. Mark is understanding and DJ is maintaining at least some modicum of professional intrigue.

-12: 04 Finally a dig at Danneel, a way of lightly defending himself in the form of playful banter. There is, unfortunately, a knowing look from DJ.

- 17:17 “I would have done any female role on Supernatural”. --Jensen is mentally calling her a liar while she is putting him down in front of an entire audience. Jensen is looking down in shame and astonishment at the hubris.

- 18:15 “I got to work with a great actor”—proceeds to embarrass Jensen again.

- 21:23 After Jensen discussed the possibility of there being something supernatural or beyond our understanding, Danneel proceeds to interject with her take in a more competitive tune. DJ kisses her ass. The two tell the haunted house story at 21:53.

- 23:13 Danneel demeans him.

- 24:41 “Must have been the air conditioning.” Demeans him.

- 33:04 Jensen critical: Lacks the capability to empathized or acknowledge that ASL may be vital as an actor for long term career path. (Note from Raye: This is my daughter's thoughts. Not mine. Respect it.)

- 42:30 Danneel would have to tell me (Jensen) to stop playing Dean at home… Jensen proceeds to rock back and forth apprehensively as Danneel makes fun of him in what again is a demeaning behavior in the form of witty banter.

-45: 35 Jensen’s acting is finally encouraged and praised by Kurt, and Mark, as opposed to his looks.

--

I... honestly, y'all? I don't see the chemistry. The banter? Nope. That's not bantering. Maybe a touch of it toward the end when she actually isn't putting him down. And I know I'm not the only one who saw it.

Not one compliment. Not from his "wife". It had to come from Mark, who praised him beautifully, at the end.

This was Comic Con Wales, 2024.

[skipppppy]

“You shouldn’t self-ID as ADHD/autistic, you’re turning a very real mental condition into a trend” Ok then stop saying delulu. Stop speculating on which cluster C personality disorder the criminals you hear about on the news have. Stop saying “schizoposting” and “acoustic” and “is it restarted?” Stop using “psycopath” and “sociopath” as catch-all ways of calling someone a bad person. Stop saying “the intrusive thoughts won” when you bleach your hair and then turn your nose up at people who suffer from very real, very scary urges of physical/sexual violence. Stop saying “I’m so OCD” as a way of calling yourself neat. Stop treating BPD/ASPD/Bipolar as inherently abusive. Stop saying “OP I am living in your walls” without tagging for unreality. Stop diagnosing complete strangers you’ve never met on r/AITA with NPD.

You first. If you don’t want our disabilities to be treated like trends then stop belittling and minimising them. I’ll NEVER judge a person for trying find labels for their symptoms when an apathetic, racist, sexist, ableist healthcare system refuses to. But I will absolutely judge a hypocrite. Which a lot of you are

[livingfictionsystem]

A lot of pop psychology gets thrown around and since I already have a headache, here's preventing you lot from making it worse.

Love-bombing: A manipulation tactic of increasing affection and grand gestures before or after doing something abusive, specifically to weasel one's way out of consequences.

What it is not: A streak of affection and generosity towards friends/loved ones.

Trauma-bonding: Knowingly traumatizing someone to take advantage of their vulnerable state, to then act like the "hero" or the one who cheers them up.

What it is not: Bonding over similar traumas.

Gaslighting: *Knowingly* convincing someone they cannot trust their own perception of a situation in pursuit of one's own narrative.

What it is not: Misaligned perception of events.

Narcissist: Someone afflicted with Narcissistic Personality Disorder, a traumagenic cluster B disorder, that struggles with self-obsession, paranoia, craving validity from the public, delusions of grandeur, and social disconnection.

It is not: Your rubbish ex that cheated on you.

Thank you for coming to my TED Talk.

-Xanthe

[solitaryschizoid]

neurotypicals will be like "you can't self diagnose" and then diagnose everyone they dislike as a narcissist

[stil-lindigo]

lead balloon (the tumblr post that saved me)

if this comic resonated with you, it would mean the world to me if you donated to this palestinian family's escape fund.

--

no creative notes because this isn't that kind of comic.

I know I don’t owe any of you anything but I still felt compelled to write about my long term absence. And I feel far enough away from the dangerous spot I was in to be able to make this comic. I have a therapist now, and she agreed that making this could be a very cathartic gesture, and the start of properly leaving these thoughts behind me. I am still, at seemingly random times, blindsided by fleeting desires to kill myself. They’re always passing urges, but it’s disarming, and uncomfortable. I worry sometimes that my brain’s spent so long thinking only about suicide that it’s forgotten how to think about anything else. Like, now that I've opened that door for myself, I'll never be able to fully shut it again. But I’m trying my best to encourage my mind in other directions. We'll see how that goes.

I am still donating all proceeds from my store to Palestinian causes. So far, I've donated over $15K, not including donations coming from my own pocket or the fundraising streams which jointly raised around $10K. In the time since I made my initial post about where this money would be going, the focus has shifted from aid organisations to directly donating to escape funds.

If you'd like to do the same, you can look at Operation Olive Branch, which hosts hundreds of Palestinian escape funds or donate to Safebow, which has helped facilitate the safe crossing and securing of important medical procedures for over 150 at-risk palestinians since the beginning of the genocide.

[unbearable-swagger]

I will be like "I'm fine" and then another fucking event will occur

[quitblamingnarcissism]

Your parents are not "narcissists". They're typical authoritarian assholes who treat you like their property because society allows them to.

Your ex boyfriend is not a "narcissist". He's a typical misogynistic douchebag who treats women like shit because society allows him to.

Your boss is not a "narcissist". They're a typical classist dipshit who thinks workers' entire purpose in life is to generate profit because society allows them to.

And even if they happen to be a "narcissist", that's not what gave them the power to get away with abuse.

So stop blaming mental illness and start blaming society's normalization of abuse. Stop acting like someone has to have a mental illness in order to do something cruel when ordinary people have been doing atrocious things since forever.

[autopsyfreak]

my anhedonia is eating me alive so i’m making these mental illness memes to cope

[anonsystem]

What Narcissism Is:

holding yourself to extremely high standards (if I'm not perfect at it, I'm a failure)

being incredibly sensitive to criticism (becoming suicidal if you think someone thinks you're bad at something)

having a very brittle sense of self-worth that's heavily reliant on what others think of you

What Narcissism is Not:

being uniquely abusive

having no morals

being a bad person

ETA: this is not an exhaustive list of NPD traits! more traits than these are necessary to have NPD! I chose these particular features to emphasize things that aren't often talked about outside of dedicated NPD communities and to highlight the fact that NPD is a disorder based in the internalized fear that you are never good enough.

[psychotic-tbh]

Stop saying…

“Psychotic/Schizophrenic” when you mean: unpredictable, unhinged, unreal, etc.

“Bipolar” when you mean: polarized, scattered, fickle, unstable, etc.

“Delusional” when you mean: unrealistic, unreasonable, close-minded, stubborn, etc.

“[insert “R” slur in relation to intellectual disabilities]” when you mean: unreasonable, unintelligent/ridiculous, immature, etc.

“OCD” when you mean: particular, neat, overbearing, etc.

“Narcissistic” when you mean selfish, abusive, manipulative, etc.

Note: I’m NOT saying that these are synonymous. This is also not an exhaustive list.

[wileycap]

AITA for striking my (M43) son (M20) when he rejected me as his father?

I understand that the title might have you thinking the worst, but please hear me out.

I didn't have a relationship with my son for basically all his life. This was due to my circumstances at the time: I went through a major personal tragedy and was severely injured, to the point of being on life support. To this day I have a lot of issues with my health.

I recently reconnected with my son. I immediately invited him to meet my boss (M92), in hopes that I could set him up with a job opportunity. I feel that this is significant. As far as I know, my son has been working in menial jobs in agriculture, but then apparently chose to leave that life and - to my shock - join a criminal syndicate.

I felt as if getting a good government job would be a way to turn over a new leaf in his life, especially given his past. However, he immediately became combative. I attempted to give him some guidance in managing his emotions, but he rejected that as well.

I'm sad to say that the argument became physical. Some blows were exchanged, but in the end, I was angry enough to strike him. I immediately felt very bad, and decided to offer him the government job on the spot. He rejected me again, and chose to leave very abruptly. I haven't had any contact with him since.

So, AITA?

Edit: Yes, I admit that to call it striking him was an understatement. To clarify, I cut off his hand.

Edit: However, I feel like it should be stated that I myself am a quadruple amputee and we have excellent healthcare.

Edit: I did not immediately identify myself as his father when we met. I think this was my mistake. I think he would have been much more receptive of my message had I done so. As it stands I only told him of our relationship after I had struck him.

Edit: My wife is not in the picture. To my knowledge she passed before his birth.

[kitten-forward]

[equalperson]

i think we should always take predominant sexes and races for psychiatric disabilities into question.

are men really more likely to be antisocial or narcissistic, or are women just overlooked because ASPD/NPD are seen as too "aggressive" for them?

are women really more likely to be borderline or histrionic, or are they just seen as so "hysterical" that they have to be feminine?

are black people more likely to have schizophrenia or ODD, or are labels of "psychosis" and "defiance" simply used to further dismiss, oppress, and imprison BIPOC?

are white people more likely to have autism and ADHD, or are doctors just more willing to accept that white children are disabled and not just "bad?"

oppressive biases are everywhere in psychiatry. never take psychiatric demographics at face value.

[lotus-pear]

ok gayboy

[youlookkindadead]

i've seen quite a bit of confusion about this, so let me attempt to clear things up :

empathy is the ability to feel somebody's emotions as though they are affecting you personally. for example, somebody tells you "my dog died last night!" -> you now feel as though you've lost a pet personally -> you feel grief and sadness just like the other person. not everyone has empathy. it's a trait some people develop and others don't. some have high empathy, some have low empathy, some (like me) have none.

sympathy is the ability to understand and care about somebody else's struggles, even if you don't feel them yourself. so, somebody tells you their dog died -> you realize how this affects them emotionally -> you care about this person, and are upset that they are suffering. not everyone has sympathy either! it's a scale, just like empathy.

compassion is doing something to relieve another person's suffering or make them feel better. somebody tells you their dog died -> you don't want them to remain upset -> you come up with ways to help them feel better, like offering comfort and distractions, or other forms of support. compassion is a learned trait, not something you can be born with like empathy or sympathy. anyone can learn to be compassionate, although some may struggle more with it than others; it's a skill, just like anything else.

however, none of these are required to be a good person. that's a choice you make on your own accord. i hope this clears things up!

[evilsystemm]

uhh???