#the bat fam

[nefarious-616-necromancer]

Art by Dustin Nguyen 🎨

[jupiterfallz]

Batsibling shenanigans 173

no one:

Duke, staring at jason: ..Dude are you okay-

jason: I can hear the seasonal depression starting to ring like mariah carrey’s whistle tones, help-

[lynnhf]

Personal Writing Challenge(2 Weeks) Day 4

Date: 9/8/23

Title: Misconception

Universe: DC

Pairing: Dick Grayson/OC

Part 1?

She honestly couldn’t understand why she had to see superheroes on the news. All. The. Time. Like, seriously? Batman stopped the Joker from killing the Mayor! What else is new? Okay, so Robin stopped a robbery, what of it? Redhood killed a man?! Shocker. Red Robin was seen fleeing the scene! Is Wonder Woman and the Batman fucking each other?

Who knew he had a heart?

Ayla sighed, sinking further into her couch, watching as the news reporter once again, described how Nightwing, Bludhaven’s very own vigilante, saved the day. While also so very obviously thirsting over him and his, “incredible ass”. 

And, OH! That bod…

It was really, starting to get on her nerves. Where were the heroes without the cape? The Good Samaritan? Where were the people who pulled a lady out of the road before she got run over? Were there any of those people left in the world? 

Drumming her fingers against the leather, she sighed heavily before getting up and storming out her front door, keys, phone, and wallet in hand. She probably should have turned off her TV, but, eh. Who cares? If someone wanted to break into her apartment and steal something from her, what was she going to do to stop them? 

Movement came from her left and she looked out from the corner of her eye as she locked her door. Her neighbor, whom she had actually never met in person (having only seen him from a distance) was walking up the stairs. Talking enthusiastically to a young man, a late teen, a child, and…

Was that Bruce Wayne?

Shit. 

Turning towards the elevator (her right and her only escape) she paused in horror as she saw the “out of order” sign on the doors.

Double shit.

The only way out was to go through Bruce Wayne and her neighbor. Who she had been avoiding, in all honesty. She could practically feel them, him, coming closer to her and the door that was beside her. Making her decision, Ayla turned back to her door to unlock it, her mind fumbling with an excuse to use and-

“Hey! You're my neighbor, right?”

Damn. It.

She stopped turning the nob, forcing a smile as she turned back around. She was greeted with a brilliant smile and gorgeous eyes. She didn’t realize blue came in that color. Against her will, she felt her smile go from forced, “I don’t want to deal with you” to a soft, friendly, “I’ll gladly have a conversation with you!”. 

“Um, yeah uh, hi. I’m… your neighbor…” There was the social awkwardness, she was wondering when it’d show up.

While the child rolled his eyes, letting out a ‘tsk’ sound, the man in front of her seemed to perk up, brighten, even. He extended his hand, and exclaimed, “Hi, it’s nice to finally meet you! I’ve seen you around a lot but I can’t seem to catch you at a good time. My names Dick by the way.”

She looked at his hand a moment and hesitated. In quick succession, she glanced from his hand to his eyes and back again a few times before she practically peeled her hand off and away from the door nob. Like the idiot she was, she floundered with her hands before finally grasping his in a single handshake. Dick’s hand was warm, and to say it dwarfed hers would be an understatement. Blushing red, and looking down at the ground, she practically wheezed out a reply. 

“N-Nice to meet you… I’m, A-Ayla…” 

Instead of shaking her hand (like a normal person), Dick instead brought her hand up to his lips, kissing it lightly. Heart pounding, blush worsening, Ayla shot her head up and locked eyes with him. Part of her wanted to smack him, but the other part, the larger part, was swooning and she was pretty sure her legs abandoned her (traitors). What's worse, is that she was almost 100% certain she looked like a deer in the headlights. A red deer, Radlpoh in particular. But what was she going to do about that? 

Unbeknownst to her, her savior came from the young man behind him. He groaned, rolling his eyes as he pulled Dick away from her and (attempted) to shove him through the now open door. “Come on Romeo, we haven’t got all day. Flirt on your own time.”

Ayla watched with wide eyes as the teen, and fucking Bruce Wayne passed through the doorway, ignoring the scene she was now blessed with. The man with a tuff of white hair had Dick in hand, struggling to turn him towards the door. The child, who never lost his, “I’m better than you” arua, was also pushing (mostly shoving) Dick. Dick who never lost his smile as he was herded back and away from her. 

“If you ever need anything, knock! Or better yet, I’ll slip my number under your door!” 

With that, the door slammed shut behind them, his words echoing inside her head before disappearing into the abyss. She was left standing there, no real thought passing through her. She just stared blankly at where they used to be, failing to comprehend what she had just witnessed.

Eventually, she managed to walk pasted his door and start down the stairs. The scene rerunning in her head, only to give her a headache she didn’t have before. Stepping out onto the street, she couldn’t help but notice the shiny black limo. With what she was assuming to be the butler as he proceeded to clean one of the windows. The old man paused to look at her, nodded, and then returned to work. 

Feeling slightly creeped out by the weirdness of it all, Ayla turned and started her normal trek to work. A million thoughts seemed to run through her mind, but one stood out above all else.

What. Just. Happened. 

@batsyforyou

[jesterbells]

canonically Tim has this ability too even though he wears a black cape

I think it’d be funny if Dick and Jason, due to wearing bright yellow capes on the job for years, are capable of stealth to a frankly unhinged degree. They barely have to try anymore it’s so second nature. Dick can just completely disappear while in the loudest neon clothes imaginable. Jason is constantly startling people who don’t understand how they missed a guy the size of a fridge standing right there. Bruce is extremely grateful for his unbreakable poker face because they have both startled him by accident and would never ever let him live it down if they knew.

[nefarious-616-necromancer]

[jupiterfallz]

This also totally happened, batsiblings número unknown

Tim: YOU PUSHED ME OFF THE ROOF!!!

Jason: Did I? Did I?

Alternatively:

Jason: You’re still alive aren’t you?

[inverted-typo]

Ooh fancy pants rich McGee over here ✨

[jesterbells]

tags have been vetted and approved: #batman#bruce wayne#the justice league#one big happy justice league family#what do you mean dc doesn’t stand for disregard canon

Justice League identity reveal where they don’t know who Batman is and one day a bunch of them walk in on him just casually eating yogurt in the cafeteria with his cowl off. A bunch of them recognize him, a couple don’t, and they’re all shocked.

Turns out Batman didn’t realize none of them knew who he was, since it had taken him all of ten minutes and three google searches to put everyone’s secret identities together and he just assumed they had all figured it out by this point. Or maybe he had meant to tell them and then just forgotten. Either way, he regularly interacts with half of them outside of hero stuff and hasn’t bothered with the whole separate persona thing with them in years. Shouldn’t they really have figured this out by now? So what if he forgot? This is clearly on them.

[itsdabatt]

Breaking News: Gotham Crime lord and Child Vigilante Accomplice Harass Innocent Taco Bell Employee (NOT CLICKBAIT)

Those dastardly Baja Blast Brothers

[adhara2034]

Headcanon that the batfam has a Samsung smart refrigerator or whatever it's called, and it is used entirely for doing work while in the kitchen. There has been justice league meetings held on that motherfucker and nuclear threats disengaged.

[wetsandmemories]

dick: you were gone for months, everyone though you were insane or else, dead even, you cut off all of the contacts with your family, friends and colleagues. and now turns out you what. almost joined an ancient murderous cult? lost an organ? have committed a few terroristic attacks? and fraud?

tim: it was my hot girl summer

dick: you've been banned from seven different countries

tim: not me being a girlypop

dick:

tim: also, is it a terroristic attack if you attack terrorists?

[jesterbells]

Dick: And how many times have you met your future self and he was Evil!Batman?

Tim:

Tim:

Tim:

Tim: twice

Some Justice Leaguer: so who’s the most likely among you to turn into a supervillain?

Tim: well, Damian, obvio—

Everyone else, simultaneously: IT’S TIM

Tim: wait what? I would’ve figured at least one of you would say Jason

Dick: Timber how many war crimes did you commit yesterday

Tim:

Tim:

Tim: four

[nefarious-616-necromancer]

[jupiterfallz]

Batfam shenanigans ft Bruce Wayne aka Batdad

Bruce: Sorry Jason, it’s a two person activity.

Damian: Maybe there’s something for lonely children that you can do.

Jason, who was just trying to do something nice for once: A lonely child is what you’re going to be after I sell you back to your grandfather.

[angel-bitch-boy]

Dick pushing thirty is forever funny to me. I imagine he pouts in the corner anytime Damien or Jason jokingly call him "old man"

Once during a particularly stressful mission he came back and took a shower only to notice a single grey hair amongst the black. He was basically that scene in howls moving castle where he threw himself on the nearest surface and wallowed until Kori had to reassure him he was still young.

He works on a mission with Bruce and is beaming when an officer comes up to him and he's expecting a "thanks kid" like the old days or maybe a "hey bro" in solidarity but the officer just shakes his hand and says "thank you sir"

Dick cries for a week.

[jesterbells]

This is such a fun reflection of Bruce i-must-adopt-every-weird-orphan Wayne

Now I'm just imagining if they met when Bruce was a little older and fighting over who gets to adopt the other

Bruce and the Addamses sizing each other up.

Bruce: Alfred, call the guy.

Gomez: too late, my boy--I'm the one adopting you!

Bat kids: two dads? two dads. yay two dads!

Villains in Addams Family movies go to really unnecessary lengths to defraud them of the family fortune. These people just give it away on whims all the time. If I just walked into the house and started wearing their clothes and spending their money, they wold start introducing me as Cousin Intruder and forget there was ever a time I didn’t live with them.