#selina kyle dc

[writing-nothing-but-spilled-ink]

Anyways this thought came to my head now I'm obligated to share

This is an au where Selina Kyle and Bruce actually get married and are in the process of like sharing a life together

Anyways this is a thing I think would be funny if it happened

Bruce is just excited to tell his friend the good news but his friend isn't exactly thrilled it's 2 am and while Gotham never sleeps Harvey dent aka two face is fucking horrified by the. Text he just received from fucking Bruce Wayne, how he got his number he doesn't fucking know the text in question

JUST GOT MARRIED!!!! 🥳🍾🍻🎉 Also totally off topic but I did not sign a prenup btw any idea of what my shares are Selina is asked for some so I gave her some but I don't actually know what they are

Two face just immediately starts blowing up Bruce's phone trying to get that man to answer is a fucking nightmare especially whenever he gets a new partner to spend time with it's like he can't see behind the pretty girl in front of him, he may be the world's greatest detective but when it comes to romantic partners he's the world's biggest idiot especially when he's in love

Finally two face starts falling Bruce and when he finally does answer he's on speaker with Selina in the room

"Bruce for the love of God tell me you had her sign a goddamn prenup, did you even discuss custody arrangements, HOW AND WHY ARE YOU GIVING HER YOUR SHARES WITHOUT KNOWING WHAT IT IS THAT YOU HAVE TELL ME THAT THIS IS A JOKE".

Bruce: I think your jealous of what I have with Selina, I trust her completely there's no need for a prenup, as for the kids they won't be a problem, and that's precisely why I texted you afterall you were one of my closest advisors for years also I thought you'd be happy for me, ya know it's not my fault yo-"

Two face: BRUCE I AM NOT JEALOUS I AM CONCERNED SELINA IS INFAMOUS FOR BEING INTERESTED IN HER OWN POCKETS AND ANYTHING SHINY, AND NEED I REMIND YOU THAT WE AREN'T FRIENDS WE HAVENT BEEN FRIENDS FOR YEARS IDK IF YOUR DRUNK OR STUPID BUT KNOWING YOU ITS PROBABLY BOTH, YOU NEED TO SEND ME ALL THE PAPERWORK REGARDING YOUR NEW MARRIAGE IMMEDIATELY SO I CAN FIX THIS GODDAMN MESS CAUSE I WILL NOT LISTEN TO YOU CRY AND WHINE WHEN THIS BLOWS UP IN YOUR STUPID ASS FACE DOES ALFRED EVEN ONOW OF YOUR STUPIDITY BECAUSE THIS IS A NEW KIND OF STUPID EVEN FOR YOU WORLDS GREATEST DETECTIVE MY ASS

Bruce merely smiles and says you wouldn't be nearly this worked up if you didn't care I knew you were still in there harv I just wanted the proof that my friend still exists I'd like for you to be my second best man at my wedding also you should come to dinner some time the kids they all miss you, and some of them have started to take an interest in the law you were at the top of your field maybe you could point them in the right direction, as for me and Selina while we did elope it has not get been made official so if you really want me to do all this paperwork you must come over for a family meal Bruce then promptly hangs up leaving Harvey absolutely flabbergasted because wtf just happened and how the fuck, wait did he just get fucking adopted by Bruce Wayne, he's a fucking supervillain and he got roped into attending a family dinner..

A moment later his phone dings and he opens it to see a big list of various foods drinks appetizers and deserts with a text at the bottom that says choose three of your favorites from each category and just dress casual or whatever's most comfortable to you it's only a small family dinner please email Alfred a list of any diet restrictions or food allergies you may have it'll be nice to have you over and don't worry Selina has agreed to play nice I know the two of you haven't always gotten along, his phone lights up again with a Gmail account to Alfred pennyworth two face can't argue so he just sighs exasperated and just RSVPs everything and goes in to see the gotham seamstress for something a bit more fancy for this get together and one extra nice suit for the wedding

[fernacular]

Despite what you may have heard Bruce Wayne is not, in fact, a furry.

He is, however, very opinionated.

[tranquilitybasehotelcasino]

we go way back

[jamjoob]

Self indulgent Miss Kyle doodles

[prlssprfctn]

Jason Todd arrives to the Gotham after being brought back alive for the first time, and while building up his career as Red Hood, visits Harvey Dent in the Arkham. They talk in a surprising peace, discuss this and this, and Jason even shares some of his insane ass lore, because, honestly, who is going to believe Harvey Dent?

And no one doesn't.

But there is a problem. The next time Bruce Wayne visits Harvey, Harvey randomly drops a bomb on him by saying that he is so, so glad that their Jaylad is back, and he grew up so much, looks so much like Bruce now! He even tries to assure him that, you see, yeah, Jason was dead, but he crawled out of his grave, and then, the Lazarus Pit fixed him!

Bruce thinks Harvey finally had reached the end of his line. Like, low-key, the last stage of insanity.

Harvey: God, he is still so well-mannered. I feel so pleased that he came to visit old me first, though. I always thought I was his favourite over you.

Bruce, laughing awkwardly, while asking the medics to add some new medicine to Harvey: Ahaha, yeah, that sounds like our Jaylad.

Harvey: Super happy for him, seriously. I mean, look at him, getting himself a new career as a Red Hood. That's our son. Feel a little bit bitter that he is into Al Ghuls family now, but that's fine.

Bruce, frowning, because Harvey isn't supposed to know about Al Ghuls and their connection to Lazarus Pit or about Red Hood: Uh, had J-Jason said something else to you?

Harvey: Oh, damn, we spoke for the whole night. He was pissed at you, though. Like, for the Tim guy, whoever he is.

Bruce, turning to the doctors: ...Maybe, uh, give me the same pills you gave him. I feel like I need it, too.

[dieubius]

The in-universe Gothamite's guide to shipping your resident billionaire 💀

...

Comes with labels

[jesterraconteuse]

You don't understand there's a part of me that wants Alfred Pennyworth to never age but there's another part that's like

As Alfred grows older his body grows tired and everyone notices. And for Bruce that's his surrogate father. For everyone else that's Grandpa. Immediately there's a secret boot camp in the Batcave for everyone to start learning how to better care for themselves. Selina Kyle assisting of course.

There's already disability accommodations for Barbara so they just need to tweak and add some stuff. They've learned from her needs and start researching on how to care for the elderly for Alfred specifically.

On paper he's still a butler but really everyone (who lives or stays for a long time in Wayne manor) makes sure they learn how to do the hardwork for themselves. Most of his job is just to be there for them honestly. They insist on doing things for themselves.

But Alfred is Alfred. So he knows what's going on. And he's so deeply proud of them. He doesn't let him do anything he insists he can or wants do himself. He's still his own person after all, and they gradually learn his boundaries and patterns.

Bruce keeps paying him but not in a way you'd pay a butler usually. More in a way where you'd send money to your retired parents.

Do you see my vision?

[yrkhn]

gotham sirens for you guys!

[animusrox]

THE BATMAN (2022) dir. Matt Reeves THE PENGUIN (2024) 1x02 "Inside Man" dir. Craig Zobel

[carnicer01]

Lovebirds are annoying someone shoot him already

[incorrectbatfam]

Tim has everyone's DNA but before he clones them he splices in genes from a sea turtle because sea turtles always find their way back home

[writing-nothing-but-spilled-ink]

Why did we decide to stop drawing Selina Kyle like this who's idea was it to get rid of the curls and goth makeup like who made that decision

Via batman the long Halloween from 1967 issue 1

[shyjusticewarrior]

Cass: *recording*

Steph, holding microphone: Who do you prefer Bruce be with, Selina or Talia?

Dick: Selina.

Jason: They're both too good for him.

Tim: Selina has threatened to kick my ass, but the guys Talia raised have kicked my ass. Selina also brings Bruce more work-life balance.

Tim: Mostly I just want Bruce to stay out of my love life.

Steph: Real.

Duke: Jefferson Pierce, so he'll stay away from my mom.

Dick: We can do that? In that case, Clark.

Steph: What about you, Damian?

Damian: Tt. Either way he'll be obnoxious.

Jason: Damian knows what's up.

[everwalldigan]

Based on that meme going around on twt hihi

[percythejedi]

never made one of these before but it seemed fun ^_^

[theerurishipper]

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First <- Part 17 <- Part 18 -> Part 19

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