#that's a first since starting therapy

[buttercupshands]

I started drawing this next day after I finished Act 6

13 or so days and it's finished!

Main things are traditional and Loop's body was edited digitally after

Unedited it looks like this

I've been torn on how to do Loop's body for the entirety of lining, also

A bit sad the main lines are visible only as a wip, most of this thing is literally just a ton of sharp lines

I think it's also my first day of drawing, Loop is just a sketch here (feat. my leg)

I even finished the beans before it so they were a moral support, because if you let me things like this take a year

[daisywords]

\

[manhattan-gamestop]

Does something ever happen to you and you’re like I’m gonna need at least 10 therapy sessions to get over that

[lover-of-mine]

That one gifset got me thinking, so what's your opinion on Buck wearing pink? I've noticed he's worn it most around the Diaz boys, but never around a canon love interest 👀

Honestly, pink seems to be about conflict and family? Obviously, the first example anyone will think of Buck in pink is the tsunami. Which is a major family moment since it's canonically the moment Buck realizes exactly how much and in which way he loves Chris but it does ultimately lead to a near-death experience.

But other moments he's wearing pink are: May's graduation party and the moments we see him talking there, he's with Chris and apologizing to Bobby about the train, so he's with his kid and clearing the air with his father figure (wonder if the pink and yellow combo for Buck and Chris means something tho).

Also, Buck talking Eddie down after the skateboard thing and Chris calling him a liar, so parenting issue.

When he's talking to Albert about Veronica and accepting there's nothing he can do about it. Considering Jee, Albert is family in a more traditional way, they are bound by a blood relative, so family.

When Chim comes to tell him about the accident with Jee and why Maddie ran and finds out Buck knew and Chim is for all intents and purposes is his brother-in-law.

So, from the knowledge I gathered by putting the whole show in 12x speed to find every instance he's wearing green, I would reasonably say pink is his conflict in the family color.

[deadandphilgames]

oversharing in the tags time :)

[cadaver-moss]

Drew these in the middle of a panic attack 2-ish weeks ago.

I thought the stark contrast between feeling watched and hating on Usher was really funny looking back on it

[heartshattering]

5 AM

Just me and my overactive mind facing the nighttime again 🙃

[ameamedraws]

Life update:

I’m going to France for a volunteering program, TOMORROW!!

It’s been in the works for like a month but it’s still pretty sudden, I felt a bunch of ranges of emotions but overall I am feeling incredibly excited.

Art updates have been slow for this very reason and April will probably be mostly a month of adjustment, but hopefully i’ll be able to find a balance soon and finish some wips i am very excited to share!

[e77y]

Glad I’m starting therapy so soon after moving out ☝️ I am already feeling the helplessness and loneliness

[tennis-kittens]

AO 2024 • Doubles • R1 • Miscellaneous

[plantdewdrops]

can’t believe I almost went to bed without taking my Halloween t-shot

[soft-puppy-boyfriend]

Shout out to my brain for convincing me that I'm still missing something in regards to preparing myself to start my new job next Monday, despite the fact that I've read a million "prepare yourself for work" articles and listicles and I have either everything already prepared or at least a plan to prepare that thing this week.

Its like when you're going on holiday and your brain is like "well what if you shit yourself every single day?? What if you pee yourself every five minutes even though you've never struggled with that at home?" Except it's my brain going "hey what happens if they expect you to bring your own phone headset?" Like???? They explicitly DONT, they have TOLD ME WHAT THEY EXPECT OF ME, can we STOP WORRYING OH MY GOD!???

[coridallasmultipass]

Halloween costume hint:

(The stitch marker and the word that describes this colour-pattern of yarn [or fabric] are 2 more hints.)

[loumauve]

still got an occasional gross cough and a bunch of anxiety over being back at work with a certain horribly exhausting person but prolonging the stress will prob make it worse so I might as well go back to work tomorrow.

I stress cleaned everything in my flat today except the piles of washed clothes and unwashed dishes so things are back to normal once more, and then I sorted out all the stuff for upcoming project + exam prep and packed my bag for tomorrow and laid out clothes so I'm as ready as I can be.

gonna be exhausted tho bc it's already 11 pm and I gotta be up by 4:30 am at the latest if I wanna be at work at my usual time. I don't have to be there at 6:30, I could go there at 9 or 10 even but then I would have to stay late and deal with people right away, which is a strong hell nah for me

[mad-hunts]

🎤 - An audio transcript from a recording

[ ARKHAM TAPES: patient 0158, barton mathis. FOR STAFF USE ONLY. ]

contains potentially triggering content such as child abuse, heavy violence, and overall disturbing content.

[ the only thing that can be heard in the beginning of the recording is the faint murmur of a man's voice — the volume is very low, and yet, you can just hear the southern twang in his voice as clear as day. the sound of the recording device scrapping against something loudly is what resounded through the audio next. then, it stopped, and the volume is much better as it seems whoever was using it fixed it. from there, a man who seemingly goes by the name DOCTOR BOWMAN begins speaking to someone across from him.

❝ alright. this is session number 3 with my patient, known as barton mathis, and the date is 3/12/2015; for records, this is doctor bowman. is it alright if i record our conversation? ❞ the southern twang the doctor had is more pronounced than ever now, and it made the slight hum that came from somewhere across from him in response to this seem a lot quieter than it actually was. the hum was resigned as if to say ' eh, whatever ' but there is a hint of aggression just barely present in it. a velvety, but still equally as deep voice answers him, ❝ mm, sure — why not? not that you really care about whether i want it be recorded, or not. ❞ doctor bowman paused at that. the only sound audible through the recording is a half-suppressed ' ahh ' that gives off a peculiar aura of sad understanding, ❝ i do care. we just have certain... rules set in place here, that everyone has to follow. it's just a policy has been in affect ever since doctor crane was fired from here. ❞

a quiet snort came from the other side of the room, and the sound of some sort of furniture crunching under the weight of barton adopting a new position atop it is audible. he sounded snide whenever he talked next, ❝ oh, he was a lot more than fired from here, wasn't he? it's okay. you can say that he became a patient here because he was experimenting on people. if only he wasn't after such a foolish goal. then, maybe he wouldn't have gotten caught, ❞ you can practically hear that the sneer that had no doubt formed on barton's face at that moment. doctor bowman said nothing at first, and then made an attempt at reining him in. ❝ okay, well, either way... we're not here to talk about doctor crane. we're here to talk about you. so, it seems from one of your previous psychiatrists, ❞ doctor bowman took another pause as the sound of him flipping through papers escaped the recording, ❝ that march is a particularly rough month for you. can you explain to me why that is? ❞

the room had suddenly become very quiet, to the point where all you could hear was the sound of both of their breathing. that is, until barton's voice made a return, but the velvetiness from it is completely gone. when he answered the doctor's question, barton's voice had hiked up a few octaves and he let out a muffled sigh as if something was obstructing his speech. maybe he was biting on one of his nails, or he was covering his face with his hand. i was hard to tell, ❝ mm, no. you cannot. next question, please. ❞ now it was doctor bowman's turn to adjust his position on what was probably a chair that he was sitting on. the sound of crinkling leather resounded through the speaker, and doctor bowman chose to try to pry an answer out of him. ❝ look, barton, if you ever hope to get better then you must realize that it's going to take some discom — ❞ doctor bowman paused mid-sentence as a gasp suddenly left his mouth and the sound of something crashing to the floor resounded through the room they were in. it resembled breaking glass, maybe from a lamp, or something similar.

doctor bowman's voice trembled at the beginning when he began talking once more, but it became steady after a few more seconds as he was trained to keep it neutral, ❝ barton, why... why do you have that? no, how did you get that? ahh. you know what, i'm going to call the orderlies, ❞ what ' it ' is is unclear. the sound of shuffling, then what was probably the weight of the doctor himself being forced back down onto the chair, came through the speaker. doctor bowman attempted to say something but was cut off, now letting out another gasp. barton's voice sounded a lot quieter now, but there is a certain coldness to it. a fury, if you will, ❝ you call them, and i will kill them, then you. you think you know why march is a terrible time for me because i can guarantee you that it was scrawled down in that folder. but you actually have no fucking idea. ❞

instead of asking him to elaborate more, doctor bowman tried to appeal to the more human side of him. he sucked in a breath before coughing. ❝ do — do not do this. you know what is going to happen if you do, don't you? if you just put the knife down right now, i promise you, i'll make it so that you aren't going to face as severe of repercussions from this. ❞ another cough, and just like that, barton's voice wrang throughout the room. it was deceptively sweet now, like he was relishing in the other's terror. a series of low-pitched laughs came from him. ❝ ooh my god, doctor, you should've been a comedian. no... i'll tell you what you want to know, since you are one persistent person. and so you'll have something to think about while you're gurgling on your own blood. this is the month in which my biological father was killed by the worst pig of them all: jim gordon. but it wasn't just that he was killed that makes it so rough for me. ❞

barton inhaled deeply, clearing his throat, ❝ it's that i wanted to kill him, too. i thought about grabbing a knife from the kitchen, sneaking into his bedroom, and killing him multiple times. but that's not even the worst part. ❞ another laugh came from barton but it wasn't sadistic, or even snide. it was choked-sounding. ❝ despite all of the foul things he did to me, i think a part of me still loves him. i mean there can't be any other reason why i would want to keep a part of him, ❞ there was a long pause then before he sniffled and the sound of crinkling leather once more crept through the recording.

❝ ahh, but you know, you were one of the better ones. it's a shame i have to kill you. ❞ a high-pitched scream soon blared throughout the room in which this was recorded, before the room fell entirely silent. the only sounds after this were footsteps, which were undoubtably barton's, and the recorder being turned off. ]

[mysria]

see this is exactly what I was talking about. the fact that people feel so comfortable being so openly homophobic and misogynistic just. I wish I could say it was surprising but this shit gets enabled all the time. the irony that this wasn't even on my fyp here (I'm avoiding it like the plague) it was on my fyp on a different blog that typically gets different content.