#can you see why the covid pandemic was a major reason i even started therapy

[youremyonlyhope]

Having contamination OCD and emetophobia while norovirus is surging is not good for my mental health. I'm going to be freaking out 24/7 until this surge goes down or until March/April when outbreaks usually stop. Whichever comes first.

And I know it's not ending anytime soon now that nearly everyone's winter breaks have ended and they're bringing the virus with them. So there's at least 2 more weeks until we see the full impact of how many people are about to get sick.

I'm actually thankful that I'm unemployed right now. Sure, I have no income. But that also means a lot less contact with people. This does not help with my tendency to become a hermit and hide away from the world.

[tinyshe]

Is Natural Immunity More Effective Than the COVID Shot? 

According to Centers for Disease Control and Prevention data,1 COVID-19 “cases” have trended downward since peaking during the first and second week of January 2021.

At first glance, this decline appears to be occurring in tandem with the rollout of COVID shots. January 1, 2021, only 0.5% of the U.S. population had received a COVID shot. By mid-April, an estimated 31% had received one or more shots,2 and as of July 13, 48.3% were fully “vaccinated.”3

However, as noted in a July 12, 2021, STAT News article,4 “cases” had started their downward trend before COVID shots were widely used. “Following patterns from previous pandemics, the precipitous decline in new cases of Covid-19 started well before a meaningful number of people had been vaccinated,” Robert M. Kaplan, Professor Emeritus at the UCLA Fielding School of Public Health, writes. He continues:

“Nearly 50 years ago, medical sociologists John and Sonja McKinlay examined5 death rates from 10 serious diseases: tuberculosis, scarlet fever, influenzae, pneumonia, diphtheria, whooping cough, measles, smallpox, typhoid, and polio. In each case, the new therapy or vaccine credited with overcoming it was introduced well after the disease was in decline.

More recently, historian Thomas McKeown noted6 that deaths from bronchitis, pneumonia, and influenza had begun rapidly falling 35 years before the introduction of new medicines that were credited with their conquest. These historical analyses are relevant to the current pandemic.”

‘Case’ Decline Preceded Widespread Implementation of Jab

As noted by Kaplan, COVID-19 “cases” peaked in early January 2021. January 8, more than 300,000 new positive test results were recorded on a daily basis. By February 21, that had declined to a daily new case count of 55,000. COVID-19 gene modification injections were granted emergency use authorization at the end of December 2020, but by February 21, only 5.9% of American adults had been fully vaccinated with two doses.

Despite such a low vaccination rate, new “cases” had declined by 82%. Considering health authorities claim we need 70% of Americans vaccinated in order to achieve herd immunity and stop the spread of this virus, this simply makes no sense. Clearly, the COVID shots had nothing to do with the decline in positive test results.

To be clear, reported cases mean positive test results, and we now know the vast majority of positive PCR tests have been, and still are, false positives. They’re not sick. They simply had a false “positive.” Right now, we’re also faced with yet another situation that complicates attempts at data analysis, and Kaplan understandably did not address any of these confounding factors.

But just so you’re aware, if you have been fully “vaccinated,” then the CDC recommends running the PCR test at a cycle threshold (CT) of 28 or lower, which dramatically lowers your chance of a false positive result, but if you are unvaccinated, the PCR test is recommended to be run at a CT of 40 or higher, virtually guaranteeing a false positive.

This is just one way by which the CDC is manipulating data to make the COVID shots appear more effective than they are. This also allows them to falsely claim that the vast majority of new cases are among the unvaccinated.

Naturally, if unvaccinated are tested in such a way as to maximize false positives, then they’re going to make up the bulk of the so-called caseload. In reality, though, the vast majority of them aren’t sick.

Meanwhile, those who have received the jabs only count as a COVID case if they’re hospitalized and/or die with a positive test result. These widely differing testing strategies skew the data and allow for false interpretations to be made.

Natural Immunity Explains Decline in Cases

As noted by Kaplan, the most reasonable explanation for declining rates of SARS-CoV-2 appears to be natural immunity from previous infections, which vary considerably from state to state.7 He goes on to cite a study8 by the National Institutes of Health, which suggests SARS-CoV-2 prevalence was 4.8 times higher than previously thought, thanks to undiagnosed infection.

In other words, they claim that for every reported positive test result, there were likely nearly five additional people who had the infection but didn’t get a diagnosis. To analyze this data further, Kaplan calculated the natural immunity rate by dividing the new estimated number of people naturally infected by the population of any given state. He writes:9

“By mid-February 2021, an estimated 150 million people in the U.S. (30 million times five) may have had been infected with SARS-CoV-2. By April, I estimated the natural immunity rate to be above 55% in 10 states: Arizona, Iowa, Nebraska, North Dakota, Oklahoma, Rhode Island, South Dakota, Tennessee, Utah, and Wisconsin.

At the other end of the continuum, I estimated the natural immunity rate to be below 35% in the District of Columbia, Hawaii, Maine, Maryland, New Hampshire, Oregon, Puerto Rico, Vermont, Virginia, and Washington …

By the end of 2020, new infections were already rapidly declining in nearly all of the 10 states where the majority may have had natural immunity, well before more than a minuscule percentage of Americans were fully vaccinated. In 80% of these states, the day when new cases were at their peak occurred before vaccines were available.

In contrast, the 10 states with lower rates of previous infections were much more likely to experience new upticks in Covid-19 cases in March and April ... By the end of May, states with fewer new infections had significantly lower vaccination rates than states with more new infections.”

COVID Shots Cannot Eliminate COVID-19

So, SARS-CoV-2 cases were actually higher in states where natural immunity was low but vaccination rates were high. Meanwhile, in states where natural immunity due to undiagnosed exposure was high, but vaccination rates were low, the daily new caseload was also lower.

This makes sense if natural immunity is highly effective (which, historically it has always been and there’s no reason to suspect SARS-CoV-2 is any different in that regard). It also makes sense if the COVID shots aren’t really offering any significant protection against infection, which we also know is the case.

The survivability of COVID-19 outside of nursing homes is 99.74%. If you’re under the age of 40, your chance of surviving a bout of COVID-19 is 99.99%.

Vaccine manufacturers have already admitted these COVID shots will not provide immunity, meaning they will not prevent you from being infected. The idea behind these gene modification injections is that if/when you do get infected, you’ll hopefully experience milder symptoms, even though you’re still infectious and can spread the virus to others.

Kaplan ends his analysis by saying that COVID shots are a safer way to achieve herd immunity, and that they are “the best tool available for assuring that the smoldering fire of [COVID-19] is extinguished.” I disagree, based on two major issues.

First, and perhaps most importantly, this is an untested “vaccine” and we have no idea of the short-term let alone long-term damage it will cause, as any reasonable effort at collecting this data has been actively suppressed. Secondly, the survivability of COVID-19 outside of nursing homes is 99.74%. If you’re under the age of 40, your chance of surviving a bout of COVID-19 is 99.99%.10,11,12

You can’t really improve your chances of surviving beyond that, so COVID shots cannot realistically end the pandemic. Meanwhile, the COVID shots come with an ever-growing list of potential side effects that can take years if not decades off your natural life span. The shots are particularly unnecessary for anyone with natural immunity,13 yet that’s what the CDC recommends.14

Why Push COVID Jab on Those with Natural Immunity?

In January 2021, Dr. Hooman Noorchashm, a cardiac surgeon and patient advocate, sent a public letter15 to the U.S. Food and Drug Administration commissioner detailing the risks of vaccinating individuals who have previously been infected with SARS-CoV-2, or who have an active SARS-CoV-2 infection.

He urged the FDA to require prescreening for SARS-CoV-2 viral proteins to reduce the risk of injuries and deaths following vaccination, as the vaccine may trigger an adverse immune response in those who have already been infected with the virus. In March 2021, Fox TV host Tucker Carlson interviewed him about these risks. In that interview, Noorchashm said:16

“I think it’s a dramatic error on part of public health officials to try to put this vaccine into a one-size-fits-all paradigm … We’re going to take this problem we have with the COVID-19 pandemic, where a half-percent of the population is susceptible to dying, and compound it by causing totally avoidable harm by vaccinating people who are already infected …

The signal is deafening, the people who are having complications or adverse events are the people who have recently or are currently or previously infected [with COVID]. I don’t think we can ignore this.”

In an email to The Defender, Noorchashm fleshed out his concerns, saying:17

“Viral antigens persist in the tissues of the naturally infected for months. When the vaccine is used too early after a natural infection, or worse during an active infection, the vaccine force activates a powerful immune response that attacks the tissues where the natural viral antigens are persisting. This, I suggest, is the cause of the high level of adverse events and, likely deaths, we are seeing in the recently infected following vaccination.”

Despite being widely ignored, Noorchashm continues to push for the implementation of prevaccine screening using PCR or rapid antigen testing to determine whether the individual has an active infection, and an IgG antibody test to determine past infection.

If either test is positive, he recommends delaying vaccination for a minimum of three to six months to allow your IgG levels to wane. At that point, he recommends testing your blood IgG level and use that as a guide to decide the timing of your vaccination.

Those with Natural Immunity Have Higher Risk of Side Effects

Mere weeks after Noorchashm’s letter to the FDA, an international survey18 confirmed his concerns. After surveying 2,002 people who had received a first dose of COVID-19 vaccine, they found that those who had previously had COVID-19 experienced “significantly increased incidence and severity” of side effects, compared to those who did not have natural immunity.

The mRNA COVID-19 vaccines were linked to a higher incidence of side effects compared to the viral vector-based COVID-19 vaccines, but tended to be milder, local reactions. Systemic reactions, such as anaphylaxis, flu-like illness and breathlessness, were more likely to occur with the viral vector COVID-19 vaccines.

Like Noorchashm before them, the researchers called on health officials to reevaluate their vaccination recommendations for people who’ve had COVID-19:19

“People with prior COVID-19 exposure were largely excluded from the vaccine trials and, as a result, the safety and reactogenicity of the vaccines in this population have not been previously fully evaluated. For the first time, this study demonstrates a significant association between prior COVID19 infection and a significantly higher incidence and severity of self-reported side effects after vaccination for COVID-19.

Consistently, compared to the first dose of the vaccine, we found an increased incidence and severity of self-reported side effects after the second dose, when recipients had been previously exposed to viral antigen.

In view of the rapidly accumulating data demonstrating that COVID-19 survivors generally have adequate natural immunity for at least 6 months, it may be appropriate to re-evaluate the recommendation for immediate vaccination of this group.”

CDC Misrepresents Data to Push Jab on Those with Immunity

So far, the CDC has refused to change its stance on the matter. Instead, officials at the agency seem to have doubled down and actually go out of their way to misrepresent data in an effort to harass those with natural immunity to inappropriately take the jab, which is clearly clinically unnecessary.

In a report issued by the CDC’s Advisory Committee on Immunization Practices (ACIP) December 18, 2020, the Pfizer-BioNTech COVID-19 vaccine was said to have “consistent high efficacy” of 92% or more among people with evidence of previous SARS-CoV-2 infection.20

After looking at the Pfizer trial data, Rep. Thomas Massie — a Republican Congressman for Kentucky and an award-winning scientist in his own right — discovered that’s completely wrong. In a January 30, 2021, Full Measure report, investigative journalist Sharyl Attkisson described how Massie tried, in vain, to get the CDC to correct its error. According to Massie:21,22

“There is no efficacy demonstrated in the Pfizer trial among participants with evidence of previous SARS-CoV-2 infections and actually there's no proof in the Moderna trial either …

It [the CDC report] says the exact opposite of what the data says. They're giving people the impression that this vaccine will save your life, or save you from suffering, even if you've already had the virus and recovered, which has not been demonstrated in either the Pfizer or the Moderna trial.”

After multiple phone calls, CDC deputy director Dr. Anne Schuchat finally acknowledged the error and told Massie it would be fixed. “As you note correctly, there is not sufficient analysis to show that in the subset of only the people with prior infection, there's efficacy. So, you're correct that that sentence is wrong and that we need to make a correction of it,” Schuchat said in the recorded call.

January 29, 2021, the CDC issued its supposed correction, but rather than fix the error, they simply rephrased the mistake in a different way. This was the “correction” they issued:

“Consistent high efficacy (≥92%) was observed across age, sex, race, and ethnicity categories and among persons with underlying medical conditions. Efficacy was similarly high in a secondary analysis including participants both with or without evidence of previous SARS-CoV-2 infection.”

As you can see, the “correction” still misleadingly suggests that vaccination is effective for those previously infected, even though the data showed no such thing. Children of ever-younger ages are also being pushed to get the COVID jab, even though they have the absolute lowest risk of dying from COVID-19 of any group.

Data23 from the first 12 months of the pandemic in the U.K. show just 25 people under the age of 18 died from or with COVID-19.24 In all, 251 children under 18 were admitted to intensive care between March 2020 and February 2021. The absolute risk of death from COVID-19 in children is 2 in 1 million.

Vaccine Provides Far Less Protection Than Natural Immunity

While some claim vaccine-induced immunity offers greater protection against SARS-CoV-2 infection than natural immunity, historical and current real-world data simply fail to support this non-common sense assertion.

As recently reported by Attkisson25,26 and David Rosenberg 7 Israeli National News,27 recent Israeli data show those who have received the COVID jab are 6.72 times more likely to get infected than people who have recovered from natural infection.

Among the 7,700 new COVID cases diagnosed so far during the current wave of infections that began in May 2021, 39% were vaccinated (about 3,000 cases), 1% (72 patients) had recovered from a previous SARS-CoV-2 infection and 60% were neither vaccinated nor previously infected. Israeli National News notes:28

“With a total of 835,792 Israelis known to have recovered from the virus, the 72 instances of reinfection amount to 0.0086% of people who were already infected with COVID.

By contrast, Israelis who were vaccinated were 6.72 times more likely to get infected after the shot than after natural infection, with over 3,000 of the 5,193,499, or 0.0578%, of Israelis who were vaccinated getting infected in the latest wave.”

Breakthrough Infections Are on the Rise

Other Israeli data also suggest the limited protection offered by the COVID shot is rapidly eroding. August 1, 2021, director of Israel’s Public Health Services, Dr. Sharon Alroy-Preis, announced half of all COVID-19 infections were among the fully vaccinated.29 Signs of more serious disease among fully vaccinated are also emerging, she said, particularly in those over the age of 60.

Even worse, August 5, Dr. Kobi Haviv, director of the Herzog Hospital in Jerusalem, appeared on Channel 13 News, reporting that 95% of severely ill COVID-19 patients are fully vaccinated, and that they make up 85% to 90% of COVID-related hospitalizations overall.30

Other areas where a clear majority of residents have been vaccinated are also seeing spikes in breakthrough cases. In Gibraltar, which has a 99% COVID jab compliance rate, COVID cases have risen by 2,500% since June 1, 2021.31

US Outbreak Shatters ‘Pandemic of Unvaccinated’ Narrative

An investigation by the CDC32,33 also dispels the narrative that we’re in a “pandemic of the unvaccinated.” An outbreak in Barnstable County, Massachusetts, resulted in 469 new COVID cases among residents who had traveled into town between July 3 and July 17, 2021.

Of these cases, 74% were fully vaccinated, as were 80% of those requiring hospitalization.Most, but not all, had the Delta variant of the virus. The CDC also found that fully vaccinated individuals who contract the infection had as high a viral load in their nasal passages as unvaccinated individuals who got infected.34 This means the vaccinated are just as infectious as the unvaccinated. According to Attkisson:35

“CDC's newest findings on so-called ‘breakthrough’ infections in vaccinated people are mirrored by other data releases. Illinois health officials recently announced36 more than 160 fully-vaccinated people have died of Covid-19, and at least 644 been hospitalized; 10 deaths and 51 hospitalizations counted in the prior week …

In July, New Jersey reported 49 fully vaccinated residents had died of Covid; 27 in Louisiana; 80 in Massachusetts … Nationally, as of July 12, CDC said it was aware of more than 4,400 people who got Covid-19 after being fully vaccinated and had to be hospitalized; and 1,063 fully vaccinated people who died of Covid.”

It is important to note this data is over 1 month old now and it is likely that many thousands of fully “vaccinated” have now died from COVID-19.

Natural Immunity Appears Robust and Long-Lasting

An argument we’re starting to hear more of now is that even though natural immunity after recovery from infection appears to be quite good, “we don’t know how long it’ll last.” This is rather disingenuous, seeing how natural immunity is typically lifelong, and studies have shown natural immunity against SARS-CoV-2 is at bare minimum longer lasting than vaccine-induced immunity.

Here’s a sampling of scholarly publications that have investigated natural immunity as it pertains to SARS-CoV-2 infection. There are several more in addition to these:37

Science Immunology October 202038 found that “RBD-targeted antibodies are excellent markers of previous and recent infection, that differential isotype measurements can help distinguish between recent and older infections, and that IgG responses persist over the first few months after infection and are highly correlated with neutralizing antibodies.”

The BMJ January 202139 concluded that “Of 11, 000 health care workers who had proved evidence of infection during the first wave of the pandemic in the U.K. between March and April 2020, none had symptomatic reinfection in the second wave of the virus between October and November 2020.”

Science February 202140 reported that “Substantial immune memory is generated after COVID-19, involving all four major types of immune memory [antibodies, memory B cells, memory CD8+ T cells, and memory CD4+ T cells]. About 95% of subjects retained immune memory at ~6 months after infection. Circulating antibody titers were not predictive of T cell memory.

Thus, simple serological tests for SARS-CoV-2 antibodies do not reflect the richness and durability of immune memory to SARS-CoV-2.” A 2,800-person study found no symptomatic reinfections over a ~118-day window, and a 1,246-person study observed no symptomatic reinfections over 6 months.

A February 2021 study posted on the prepublication server medRxiv41 concluded that “Natural infection appears to elicit strong protection against reinfection with an efficacy ~95% for at least seven months.”

An April 2021 study posted on medRxiv42 reported “the overall estimated level of protection from prior SARS-CoV-2 infection for documented infection is 94.8%; hospitalization 94.1%; and severe illness 96·4%. Our results question the need to vaccinate previously-infected individuals.”

Another April 2021 study posted on the preprint server BioRxiv43 concluded that “following a typical case of mild COVID-19, SARS-CoV-2-specific CD8+ T cells not only persist but continuously differentiate in a coordinated fashion well into convalescence, into a state characteristic of long-lived, self-renewing memory.”

A May 2020 report in the journal Immunity44 confirmed that SARS-CoV-2-specific neutralizing antibodies are detected in COVID-19 convalescent subjects, as well as cellular immune responses. Here, they found that neutralizing antibody titers do correlate with the number of virus-specific T cells.

A May 2021 Nature article45 found SARS-CoV-2 infection induces long-lived bone marrow plasma cells, which are a crucial source of protective antibodies. Even after mild infection, anti-SARS-CoV-2 spike protein antibodies were detectable beyond 11 months’ post-infection.

A May 2021 study in E Clinical Medicine46 found “antibody detection is possible for almost a year post-natural infection of COVID-19.” According to the authors, “Based on current evidence, we hypothesize that antibodies to both S and N-proteins after natural infection may persist for longer than previously thought, thereby providing evidence of sustainability that may influence post-pandemic planning.”

Cure-Hub data47 confirm that while COVID shots can generate higher antibody levels than natural infection, this does not mean vaccine-induced immunity is more protective. Importantly, natural immunity confers much wider protection as your body recognizes all five proteins of the virus and not just one. With the COVID shot, your body only recognizes one of these proteins, the spike protein.

A June 2021 Nature article48 points out that “Wang et al. show that, between 6 and 12 months after infection, the concentration of neutralizing antibodies remains unchanged. That the acute immune reaction extends even beyond six months is suggested by the authors’ analysis of SARS-CoV-2-specific memory B cells in the blood of the convalescent individuals over the course of the year.

These memory B cells continuously enhance the reactivity of their SARS-CoV-2-specific antibodies through a process known as somatic hypermutation. The good news is that the evidence thus far predicts that infection with SARS-CoV-2 induces long-term immunity in most individuals.”

Another June Nature paper concluded that “In the absence of vaccination antibody reactivity [to the receptor binding domain (RBD) of SARS-CoV-2], neutralizing activity and the number of RBD-specific memory B cells remain relatively stable from 6 to 12 months.” According to the authors, the data suggest “immunity in convalescent individuals will be very long lasting.”

What Makes Natural Immunity Superior?

The reason natural immunity is superior to vaccine-induced immunity is because viruses contain five different proteins. The COVID shot induces antibodies against just one of those proteins, the spike protein, and no T cell immunity. When you’re infected with the whole virus, you develop antibodies against all parts of the virus, plus memory T cells.

This also means natural immunity offers better protection against variants, as it recognizes several parts of the virus. If there are significant alternations to the spike protein, as with the Delta variant, vaccine-induced immunity can be evaded. Not so with natural immunity, as the other proteins are still recognized and attacked.

Not only that but the COVID jabs actually actively promote the production of variants for which they provide virtually no protection at all, while those with natural immunity do not cause variants and are nearly universally protected against them.

If we are to depend on vaccine-induced immunity, as public health officials are urging us to do, we’ll end up on a never-ending booster treadmill. Boosters will absolutely be necessary, as the shot offers such narrow protection against a single protein of the virus. Already, Moderna has publicly stated that the need for additional boosters is expected.49

Ultimately It’s About Wealth Transfer, Power and Control

Government agencies typically don’t issue recommendations without ulterior motives. Since current recommendations make absolutely no sense from a medical and scientific standpoint, what might the reason be for these illogical and reprehensibly unethical recommendations to inject people who don’t need it with experimental gene modification technology?

Why are they so hell-bent on getting a needle in every arm? And why are they refusing to perform any kind of risk-benefit analysis?

Data already indicate these COVID-19 injections could be the most dangerous medical product we’ve ever seen, and a June 24, 2021, peer-reviewed study published in the medical journal Vaccines warned we are in fact killing nearly as many with the shots as would die from COVID-19 itself.50

Using data from a large Israeli field study and two European drug reactions databases, they recalculated the NNTV for Pfizer’s mRNA shot. To prevent one case of COVID-19, anywhere between 200 and 700 had to be injected. To prevent a single death, the NNTV was between 9,000 and 50,000, with 16,000 as a point estimate.

Meanwhile, the number of people reporting adverse reactions from the shots was 700 per 100,000 vaccinations. For serious side effects, there were 16 reports per 100,000 vaccinations, and the number of fatal side effects was 4.11 per 100,000 vaccinations.

The final calculation suggested that for every three COVID-19 deaths prevented, two died from the shots. “This lack of clear benefit should cause governments to rethink their vaccination policy,” the authors concluded.

As has become the trend, a letter expressing “concern” about the study was published June 28, 2021, resulting in the paper being abruptly retracted July 2, 2021, against the authors’ objections. They disagreed with the accusation that their data and subsequent conclusion were misrepresentative, but the paper was retracted before they had time to publish a rebuttal.

Based on everything we’ve discovered so far, it seems a pandemic virus industrial complex is running the show, with a goal to eliminate medical rights and personal freedoms in order to centralize power, control and wealth.

By the looks of things, the COVID-19 mass psychosis and loss of any rational thinking by nearly half the population will continue to persist as long as the propaganda continues. Fear will continue and if need be, other engineered viruses may be released, for which they’ll create even more gene modification injections.

I believe the truth will eventually be so overwhelming, it’ll sweep away the confusion and the lies.  Analysis by Dr. Joseph Mercola  August 18, 2021

[calzona-ga]

Warning: This post contains spoilers about the March 11 episode of Grey's Anatomy.

In a season where Grey's Anatomy has nearly lost multiple doctorsto COVID-19, its latest shocking death had nothing to do with the pandemic. After DeLuca (Giacomo Gianniotti) followed a sex trafficker out of the hospital, he was stabbed, a wound that Hunt (Kevin McKidd) and Teddy (Kim Raver) thought they'd repaired in surgery. But before the episode ended, Deluca was dead, getting a peaceful farewell with Meredith (Ellen Pompeo) on the beach and a heartwarming reunion with his mother.

EW spoke with Grey's showrunner Krista Vernoff about how his death came together, and where the show goes from here.

ENTERTAINMENT WEEKLY: Where did this story come from?

KRISTA VERNOFF: It's like a story that told itself to me at the very beginning. At the very beginning of this season as I took a walk on the beach and asked: "What are the stories? What are we doing?" These episodes came in whole cloth. This is what I came into the writers' room knowing. I didn't like it and it made me mad and it made me cry even as I imagined it, and I will admit that multiple times as we were writing the season and even as we were shooting these episodes, I came into the writers' room shouting and crying like, "Really?! This is what we're doing? I think I'm chickening out! I think we have to save him, you guys!" [Laughs] Me, the fan, wants DeLuca to live but the storyteller, I follow the stories where they want to go.

When you say the stories came in pretty complete, did you all have to decide how you were going to kill DeLuca, or was that part of the initial idea?

There was no decision to kill the character and then discussion of how are we going to kill him. There literally was an entire imagining that came into my head of DeLuca following the sex trafficker out of the hospital, following her through the city, refusing to let up, and being punched in the stomach at a certain point by some colleague of hers who he didn't see coming and him dropping. You think he was punched and then you realized he was stabbed and that moves into Grey's Anatomy and he visits with Meredith on the beach. The whole thing downloaded and I was like, "Oh my God, we're killing DeLuca?" That's how it happened. Nobody wanted to kill DeLuca. I didn't want to kill DeLuca! But when I came in and said, "You guys, this is the story," everyone went, "Oh yeah, that's the story." We wanted to honor the fact that we didn't feel like we had completed the storytelling of the sex trafficking [plot] and this felt like the story.

It is truly shocking what's going on out there right now with sex trafficking.

It is shocking what is going on out there! And Giacomo is very involved on the frontlines of this situation, so when we first started to tell this story last season, he was so excited and so grateful that we were going to raise awareness in this way. So when I told him this story, he was kind of happy. He was thrilled that DeLuca was going to die in this brave and noble way that is also going to continue to raise consciousness on this subject and also thrilled that we were being very careful that he was not going out as a result of his mental health crisis, that he went out as a result of his courage and his certainty that someone had to stop this woman.

There's also power in having someone die from something completely unrelated to COVID-19 this season.

That's what I was thinking about when these stories came. I was preoccupied with some tragedies that I was reading about that were entirely unrelated to COVID. My whole body was like, "Wait! This isn't fair! COVID is big and bad enough, really, someone's sister just died of cancer? Really this person's house just burnt down?" It felt so wrong and sometimes that's what the world does, sometimes there's tragedy upon tragedy and I think we all experienced that this year.

I also want to touch on the beach of it all. Unlike with some previousGrey's deaths, you all were able to show him a bit in the afterlife, if you will. What was that like for you to get to create those moments?

The opportunity to imagine that with death comes reunion is this thing that we had never done on this show in that way, and to find new ways to say goodbye to characters that allow you to grieve and be devastated and also overwhelmed with your own sense of, "Oh my God, who would be on my beach?" I think it's a gift. I love it and I'm grateful for it. I love that beach. I've had people say to me, "That beach has put me back into therapy, Krista." [Laughs],

The beach is the place to have all your feelings, especially when DeLuca says something like "I had plans."

I will tell you that it has been therapeutic for me. I wrote all the beach scenes. That's what I did this season. I sat down and I wrote all the beach scenes like a play. And I love it. I love the play. I love the beach. It feels powerful and beautiful and that sandcastle scene, it felt like we're all getting to process our collective grief together through that beach. For me anyway, I'm getting to process my grief, my hopes, my relief. What I said to Giacomo at the table read for this episode I think is the truth. I said, "Thank you for playing this character so beautifully and so powerfully that we all get to feel our collective grief through the loss of him." I think there's a reason we cry as hard as we do when he goes and I don't think it's just DeLuca, I think it's all of it.

What can you say about Carina's (Stefania Spampinato) arc for the rest of the season?

It's a grief arc. That's her baby brother, it's devastating and she plays it, I have full-body chills as I talk about how beautifully she plays it. It's stunning.

I'm also concerned about Teddy. She thought she and Owen finally did something good together, only to have it ripped away. How is DeLuca's death going to impact her?

Powerfully. You are intuiting one of the major stories we're telling going forward, which is everybody has a breaking point and this might just be Teddy's. This story gives us an opportunity to begin to unpack what is untold still in terms of why she's done some of the things she's done in recent seasons.

[suchalonelysunflower]

Okay I’m having a real AITA moment here and since I don’t have Reddit and Tumblr is basically my diary at this point... feel free to ignore.

There’s a few moments left of my birthday. And people I know irl know that birthdays are kind of a big deal for me because, believe it or not, I do have happy memories related to them. It’s the one day I allow myself to be a bit selfish because, well, it’s my birthday.

And is not only for me, it’s for everyone. I know all my friends birthdays by memory, I always make sure to congratulate them on the day, sometimes even at midnight because I want them to feel appreciated, even if they don’t like their birthdays, I want to show them that I’m happy that they are here in my life. So if I remember your birthday (given my terrible memory sometimes) it is a big deal and it means I care about you. And even if I don’t know your birthday, but I see someone congratulating you then of course I’ll say happy birthday as well! I just... I like birthdays and I love my friends (internet friends as well, you guys are amazing)

Well, today everyone forgot about my birthday. Well, not everyone. My family remembered and we actually had a good time watching Disney movies (cause COVID, you know... lockdown?) and I was kinda sad because yay! Another year not being able to be with my friends on my birthday... Although my best friend did remember and she sent me a gift, she was the only one.

I have 3 group chats; one with my friends from work, another one with high school friends and another one with lifelong friends. None of them said anything. And I was like, okay, maybe they’ll do it later because I know one of my closest friends always waits till the last moment to say something. Until now he hasn’t said anything.

And it’s not like they don’t know. I posted things on my story, they all saw and decided to ignore it or just didn’t give it much attention. They saw my best friend’s story and ignored it as well. But that’s not all. They all talked in the groupchats like a normal day, none of them addressing me.

They tend to ignore me every time I say something, which I’m used to and I’m not usually mad because they talk about things I’m not familiarized with (they are all in the same major but we’ve been friends since we were 15) But, it still hurt.

In another group chat someone even started to plan their birthday on Wednesday, asking everyone where they want to go knowing we are in the middle of a lockdown in a pandemic that has taken so many lives... why would you even do that? I’m sitting in my living room on my birthday yet another year because I care about the people around me. Please keep in mind my country is still vaccinating people and they are only vaccinating doctors at the moment. So we are all at risk.

Not only that. But someone in that group chat actually asked “wait, isn’t it sunny’s birthday?” And another friend said “lol no it isn’t” and kept going with the conversation before I could say it was. Because it is my birthday, none of them said anything and kept planning the other party.

I invited them to my house on previous birthdays, most of them didn’t come but they told me because they couldn’t make it (I love a bit far from the city, but Nothing crazy since I still went to their place all the time) Now I wonder if they just didn’t want to. But I still said hello on their birthdays, I post stories, I congratulate them on group chats... I take my time for them because they matter to me. Is it selfish if I ask the same? Or at least something that’s not this?

This post is in no way a means for you to feel sorry for me or to feel obligated to say anything about it. I’m just very conflicted about my feelings and I chose writing as a therapy.

What I’m conflicted about is that I love my friends, but they are hurting me right now. They must have a reason, but I don’t know if the reason is me. Was I ever annoying in some way? Do they see me as a friend anymore? Why didn’t my guy best friend for 10 years say anything to me today, knowing how much I like my birthday? What happened?

Am I the asshole because I care too much about my birthday and I’m just being sensitive? Or is it okay to be mad at them? Can I be mad at them? I’m mad and sad and I don’t know if I’m allowed to be over this...

Now. If you read all of this, thank you for being so patient and letting me rant for a while. Emotions are hard. So thank you, and I hope you have a wonderful day and an even awesome birthday when that time comes.

[thatsbrookie]

October 2020

Heh heh... so... you wanna just ignore how long it’s been since I’ve posted...? Yeeeahhhh... let’s ignore how long it’s been since I’ve posted. Lol jk, I think my Tumblr days are coming to an end. No particular reason why.. but I’ve just gradually become less and less interested in posting here. It’s crazy to think about how long I’ve been using Tumblr as my own little private diary. My very first post on here was in February of 2013. Well over 7 years ago.. Tumblr has always been good to me. It’s always been super beneficial for me to write out my feelings and emotions, goals and heartaches... All good things come to an end, though. I suppose. Maybe I’ll get an actual physical journal and start doing that.. Anywhooooo.. lets do a life update! I literally can’t remember the last thing I posted on here.. so, I apologize if I repeat myself.. Greg and I were moving around a lot. Louisiana, Texas, Iowa, Minnesota. I might be wrong, but the last I remember posting a life update was in Iowa. We were living in Mason City, Iowa. For a little over a year. But I swear, that year was one of the most insane years of my life. Mainly because of CAVU.. Like.. fuck, man. You have no idea.. but I can’t get into all that right now. I won’t stop. Also in Iowa, Rosalie got very seriously sick. She’s an older pup, 10 years old. So illness is taken seriously.. And this was BAD. THANKFULLY, she made a full recovery. That was SO scary

Anywayyyys, we are noooow in St Paul, Minnesota! And I know what you’re thinking, “Omg, y’all move so much. I can’t even keep track anymore”  We know we’ve moved around a lot and we got sick of it. Moving frequently can be fun because you get a lot of interesting experiences, but we’d been wanting a place to call ‘home’ for some time. We both agreed that we wanted to settle in a larger city somewhere in the north (we love colder weather) and we’ve always liked the idea of Michigan, Wisconsin, or Minnesota (Greg is from the area). Then Greg got a job offer and a good promotion to move to the Minneapolis/Saint Paul area for a senior manager position and we felt like it was fate. So we decided to lay some roots and buy a house here in Saint Paul rather than renting. And leemmeeee teeelll yooouuu, buying a house FOR THE FIRST TIME, in a DIFFERENT STATE, during a GLOBAL PANDEMIC.... that was an EXPERIENCE. Plus, just a couple days after we officially moved here is when all the riots started happening. Just a few miles from our home!! It was truly one of the most chaotic times of our lives!! But we are both SO pleased with our lil home. It was worth it! It’s older and on the smaller side, but it is beautiful. On a more personal note, I have been struggling a lot mentally and emotionally. We moved here the very end of May and is now it’s the beginning of October. I’ve been actively trying to find a job since around July/August with no luck.. It’s been getting really hard to stay positive and motivated. Lately I’ve just felt like I lack purpose and just existing instead of actually living, ya know? I cry to Greg about it, he’s so supportive and he keeps telling me to be patient. “We’re in the middle of a pandemic.. The culinary industry is taking a huge hit because of that. Most restaurants, if they’ve even been able to stay open, are only doing take out/delivery or operating at only 30%-50% capacity for dine-in. Majority of places aren’t hiring right now.. They’re barely able to keep they’re own staff employed.” I know he’s right. But it’s still really getting to me.. I just feel useless  Plus, I’ve been so lonely. I’ve been trying to take Covid seriously (As EVERYONE should be. If you’re not, FUCK YOU), taking extra precautions when I have to leave the house. So because of that, I’m alone at home ALL THE TIME. I mean, I have Greg, but he works very long hours. And by the time he gets home, most of the time he’s exhausted and just falls asleep. I miss friends. I miss my family so much.. I haven’t seen my dad in like a year and a half!  Greg and I talked about it, and I’ve started to see a doctor for help with anxiety and depression. I’ve tried out a few different medications, but nothing seems to be working super well for me so far. I have another appointment in a week to change up my meds again, hopefully something that will help me more. My doctor has been urging me to get back into therapy. I’d love to, but I just can’t afford that right now. Since I still don’t have a job, money is tight. Greg is obviously still making money, but the cost of living here in Saint Paul i waayyyy higher than all the other places we’ve lived. So we don’t have as much extra moolah as we used to. Plus, I’ve gained like 10-15 pounds. Damn quarantine.. I’ve been eating and drinking WAY too much. The weather is starting to get colder here, so I was going through my warmer pants. They all still zip/button but they are hella tight now! I got super super sad about that too. Oh, also. I cut all my hair off. I always loved my super long, red hair. I got compliments all the time. It was beautiful. But I have been wanting to cut my hair short for a long time. Like short short. For years. I figured, ‘New city, new hair’ and got it all chopped off! I got my hair cut the first time and pretty much immediately unhappy with it. About a week later I went back and got it tweaked. I was way happier with it then. A month or so later, it was starting to get too long and super poofy. I went back and got it cut EVEN SHORTER, thinned out (I have super thick hair) and a different style shape. This cut is by far my favorite!! It’s exactly the short cut I had envisioned on myself since the start!! Third time’s the charm, I suppose. My hair is actually short than Greg’s hair currently! Lol I have been absolutely loving my new short hair! I feel like it suits me and my personality SO much more!! However, even though I feel so great with it, I haven’t taken a single picture I feel 100% confident in. I’ve tried to take many pictures, but I feel like I look stupid in every single one of them. It’s so confusing.. In person: Wow! Super cute! In pictures: *projectile vomit* Something wild and unexpected... dad and Cynthia got divorced! He called me the middle of last month and told me that he and Cynthia literally just got done finishing up the paperwork. I was extremely shocked. He told me that they have actually been arguing and fighting like CRAZY for a very very long time. Finally they decided to get a divorce, but didn’t tell anyone. They wanted it to be finalized first. Then tell people. I was so surprised.. I didn’t even know what to say. But he assured me that this is a VERY GOOD thing. He was planning a celebration that night. Lol! It’s crazy, they were only married for 2 years!

Hmmm.. I’m trying to think if there’s anything else worth mentioning... Like I said, my life has been pretty dull lately.. Well. It’s getting late. I’m going to start getting ready for bed. I’m actually kind of tired. Lately I’ve had a really hard time falling asleep.. maybe tonight is my lucky night and I’ll actually be able to fall asleep quickly. *knock on wood* Goodnight, Tumblr! 

[newstfionline]

Headlines

Images of brutality against Black people spur racial trauma (AP) Since Wanda Johnson’s son was shot and killed by a police officer in Oakland, California, 11 years ago, she has watched video after video of similar encounters between Black people and police. Each time, she finds herself reliving the trauma of losing her son, Oscar Grant, who was shot to death by a transit police officer. Most recently, Johnson couldn’t escape the video of George Floyd, pinned to the ground under a Minneapolis officer’s knee as he pleaded that he couldn’t breathe. “I began to shake. I was up for two days, just crying,” she said. “Just looking at that video opened such a wound in me that has not completely closed.” Johnson’s loss was extreme, but, for many Black Americans, her grief and pain feels familiar. Psychologists call it racial trauma—the distress experienced because of the accumulation of racial discrimination, racial violence or institutional racism. While it can affect anyone who faces repeated prejudice, in this moment, its impact on Black people is drawing particular attention. The unfortunate irony is that the very tool that may be helping to make more people aware of the racism and violence that Black and other people of color face is also helping to fuel their trauma.

Critics question `less lethal’ force used during protests (AP) When a participant at a rally in Austin to protest police brutality threw a rock at a line of officers in the Texas capital, officers responded by firing beanbag rounds—ammunition that law enforcement deems “less lethal” than bullets. A beanbag cracked 20-year-old Justin Howell’s skull and, according to his family, damaged his brain. Adding to the pain, police admit the Texas State University student wasn’t the intended target. Pressure has mounted for a change in police tactics since Howell was injured. He was not accused of any crime. He was hospitalized in critical condition on May 31 and was discharged Wednesday to a long-term rehabilitation facility for intensive neurological, physical and occupational therapy. His brother has questioned why no one is talking about police use of less lethal but still dangerous munitions. “If we only talk about policing in terms of policies and processes or the weapons that police use when someone dies or when they are ‘properly lethal’ and not less lethal, we’re missing a big portion of the conversation,” said Josh Howell, a computer science graduate student at Texas A&M University. The growing use of less lethal weapons is “cause for grave concern” and may sometimes violate international law, said Agnes Callamard, director of Global Freedom of Expression at Columbia University and a U.N. adviser.From 1990 to 2014, projectiles caused 53 deaths and 300 permanent disabilities among 1,984 serious injuries recorded by medical workers in over a dozen countries.

Coronavirus Global Death Toll Passes 500,000 (Foreign Policy) The coronavirus pandemic, about to enter its fifth month this week reached two grim milestones over the weekend: More than 10 million people have been infected with the virus and over 500,000 have died of it. Europe has seen the most deaths of any continent, although its overall caseload is declining. The situation in the Americas is more concerning: Two countries—the United States and Brazil—account for roughly 35 percent of all COVID-19 deaths worldwide and both countries are still seeing new cases in the tens of thousands daily.

Virus hits college towns (NYT) The community around the University of California, Davis, used to have a population of 70,000 and a thriving economy. Rentals were tight. Downtown was jammed. Hotels were booked months in advance for commencement. Students swarmed to the town’s bar crawl, sampling the trio of signature cocktails known on campus as “the Davis Trinity.” Then came the coronavirus. When the campus closed in March, an estimated 20,000 students and faculty left town. With them went about a third of the demand for goods and services, from books to bikes to brunches. Fall classes will be mostly remote, the university announced last week, with “reduced density” in dorms. Efforts to stem the pandemic have squeezed local economies across the nation, but the threat is starting to look existential in college towns. Communities that have evolved around campuses are confronting not only Covid-19 but also major losses in population, revenue and jobs.

Band’s pandemic diversion leads to every-night gig in park (AP) What started as a way for two musicians to get out of the house during the pandemic has turned into nightly concerts at the boathouse in Brooklyn’s Prospect Park—with fans who expect them to play three to four hours a night, seven nights a week. “One day I came here with my guitar out of nowhere, to just get some fresh air. And people just started coming over. And then they were like, ‘Thank you!’ And then it took a life on its own,” said Alegba Jahyile, leader of Alegba and Friends. Jahyile, a Haitian raised in New York who plays guitar, drums and bass, recalled a woman who cried at one concert. “You made my day,” she told him. “It’s been a terrible week for me and my family. Listening to you, singing, I felt the joy, I found a little bit of serenity, of peace to my day.” The area has steps that are good for sitting. It’s also adjacent to a grassy hill where people can bring children and dogs, spread blankets, plop down lounge chairs, and picnic while listening to the music.

World Food Program warns of ‘devastating’ pandemic impact in low- and middle-income countries (Washington Post) The World Food Program (WFP) warned Monday that the socioeconomic repercussions of the coronavirus pandemic will be “devastating” and could trigger food shortages for millions of residents of low- and middle-income nations. In the countries in which the organization operates, the number of people suffering from hunger is estimated to rise by more than 80 percent by the end of 2020, in comparison with pre-coronavirus times. Latin America and Africa are among the most heavily impacted areas. “This unprecedented crisis requires an unprecedented response. If we do not respond rapidly and effectively to this viral threat, the outcome will be measured in an unconscionable loss of life, and efforts to roll back the tide of hunger will be undone,” WFP Director David Beasley was quoted as saying in a release. “Until the day we have a medical vaccine, food is the best vaccine against chaos.”

Iceland’s president wins second term (Foreign Policy) Icelandic President Gundi Johannesson won a second term on Saturday in a landslide victory. Johanneson won 92 percent of the vote, while his right wing challenger Gudmundur Franklin Jonsson received just 7 percent of the vote. The Icelandic presidency is a largely symbolic post, although the president can exercise veto power over legislation.

Britons are fatter than most in the rest of Europe, says PM Johnson (Reuters) British Prime Minister Boris Johnson said on Monday Britons were significantly fatter than people in most of the rest of Europe, admitting he had lost weight after contracting the novel coronavirus. Speaking to Times Radio, Johnson said: “I have taken a very libertarian stance on obesity but actually when you look at the numbers, when you look at the pressure on the NHS (National Health Service), compare, I’m afraid this wonderful country of ours to other European countries, we are significantly fatter than most others, apart from the Maltese for some reason. It is an issue.” “Everybody knows that this is a tough one, but I think it’s something we all need to address.” Johnson did some press ups to show he was “as fit as a butcher’s dog” in an interview with the Mail on Sunday newspaper, just months after he fought for his life in hospital against the coronavirus.

French court convicts former PM Fillon of embezzling public funds (Reuters) A French court on Monday found former French Prime Minister Francois Fillon guilty of embezzlement of public funds in a fake jobs scandal that wrecked his 2017 run for president and opened the Elysee Palace door for Emmanuel Macron. A French court on Monday found former French Prime Minister Francois Fillon guilty of embezzlement of public funds in a fake jobs scandal that wrecked his 2017 run for president and opened the Elysee Palace door for Emmanuel Macron.

Hard times even for homeless (Worldcrunch) Speaking to German newspaper Süddeutsche Zeitung, anthropologist Luisa Schneider described one homeless girl she’s followed. “Before the crisis, she was able to study and wash in cafes or libraries. Neither is possible now.” Schneider expects more Germans to sleep on the streets in the coming months. “Many networks have now collapsed. Even homeless people who used to support each other are now losing sight of each other.” In France, government authorities and NGOs were able to accommodate 177,600 people with shelter during the lockdown period, reports Le Monde. The government has invested more than 2 billion euros helping those without homes, including requisitioning 13,300 hotel rooms. Yet France’s emergency phone number for homeless assistance remains overwhelmed, with over 200 calls on average daily and many unable to secure a temporary housing situation. And as the country continues opening up, it is unclear how long the special accommodation period will last.

Polish election (NYT) Polish President Andrzej Duda failed to win enough of the vote in Sunday’s election to avoid a runoff, according to exit polls, forcing him into what is expected to be a tightly fought contest with the liberal mayor of Warsaw Rafal Trzaskowski next month. Although Duda came out ahead on Sunday, analysts expect that to change in the runoff election in two weeks, as opposition voters whose support was split in the first round unite around Trzaskowski.

Russian state exit polls show 76% so far back reforms that could extend Putin rule (Reuters) Russian state opinion pollster VTsIOM said on Monday that its exit polls showed that 76% of Russians had so far voted to support reforms that could allow President Vladimir Putin to extend his rule until 2036. The nationwide vote on constitutional reforms began on June 25 and is being held over seven days as a precaution against the coronavirus pandemic. If approved, the changes would allow Putin to run twice for president again after his current term expires in 2024.

Militants attack Karachi stock exchange, killing at least 3 (AP) Militants attacked the stock exchange in the Pakistani city of Karachi on Monday, killing at least three people—two guards and a policeman, according to police. Special police forces deployed to the scene of the attack and in a swift operation secured the building, killing all four gunmen. There were no reports of any wounded among the brokers and employees inside the exchange and a separatist militant group from a neighboring province later claimed responsibility for the attack.

China forces birth control on Uighurs to suppress population (AP) The Chinese government is taking draconian measures to slash birth rates among Uighurs and other minorities as part of a sweeping campaign to curb its Muslim population, even as it encourages some of the country’s Han majority to have more children. While individual women have spoken out before about forced birth control, the practice is far more widespread and systematic than previously known, according to an AP investigation based on government statistics, state documents and interviews with 30 ex-detainees, family members and a former detention camp instructor. The campaign over the past four years in the far west region of Xinjiang is leading to what some experts are calling a form of “demographic genocide.” The state regularly subjects minority women to pregnancy checks, and forces intrauterine devices, sterilization and even abortion on hundreds of thousands, the interviews and data show. The population control measures are backed by mass detention both as a threat and as a punishment for failure to comply. Having too many children is a major reason people are sent to detention camps, the AP found, with the parents of three or more ripped away from their families unless they can pay huge fines. Police raid homes, terrifying parents as they search for hidden children.

Thailand opens its borders to some (Worldcrunch) Thailand will allow pubs and bars to reopen on Wednesday and plans to let in some foreign travelers after recording five weeks without any community transmission of the coronavirus, a government official said. Pubs, bars and karaoke venues will be able to operate until midnight as long as they follow safety guidelines such as ensuring two-meter spaces between tables. Foreigners with work permits, residency and families in Thailand will also be able to enter the country, but will be subject to a 14-day quarantine. Visitors seeking certain types of medical treatment such as some cosmetic surgery or fertility treatment could also be allowed into the country.

Balcony churches: Kenyans find new ways to worship in lockdown (The Guardian) The children hang over the balcony railings on Sunday morning. In the parking lot below, a four-person band test microphones and practise harmonies. A moment later, the group fills the Mirema apartment complex in Nairobi with music: “I’m happy today, so happy. In Jesus’s name, I’m happy.” The Rev Paul Machira, a tall, slender beanpole of a man with greying hair, leaps around energetically, encouraging the balcony worshippers to join in prayer. Sporting green overalls embroidered with his nickname, Uncle Paul, the 43-year-old has been traveling around apartment complexes across Nairobi, bringing his balcony services and Sunday school to families since the Covid-19 pandemic closed down places of worship in Kenya on 22 March. Pairing dance moves with their tunes, the band encourage children and their parents to spend the hour dancing and praying together. When Machira realises that a crowd has gathered on the balcony of the apartment building next door, he shifts to a “360 service” to include those neighbours. Machira’s services are by invitation only. He says that the group have had to skip services because some of the neighbours have objected to “noise-makers” in their complex. Machira’s group have been booked for as many as four services in one day before. This popularity means that they sometimes have to split into two, renting an additional van and musical equipment to cover more ground.

[her-culture]

Why Do We Love Music So Much?

For the longest time, I thought that my music-filled childhood--cello and piano lessons atop of music theory classes and so forth since I was four--were the reason behind why now, many years later, music still holds such a profound power over me. When I’m upset, I turn to my curated playlists on Spotify with slow melodies and lyrics that seemingly encompass the hurt rippling through my body. When I sit at my desk trying to write in the midst of another round of writer's block, I turn to the beautifully written scores for some of my favorite movies in hopes that their creative energies will flow through the sounds coming from my speakers and into me. 

Prior to the COVID pandemic, when I used to sit in front of my mirror putting on a full face of make-up prior to going out with my friends on the weekends, I would play the songs that generated an adrenaline rush that would prep me for the night of dancing. It wasn’t till I moved in with my new roommate almost six months ago that I realized, through listening to her old record player as we laid on the floor and stared at the ceiling in silence one night, that I wasn’t the only one in this apartment that was under the control of the rhythmic melodies flowing from the speakers on the shelf.

While music affects every individual on this planet differently, I believe that we all share the same experiences that music can cause—no matter what genre. A close friend of mine started a playlist at the start of our college career and would only add songs to it when a song resonated that much with her. Until we graduate, she has not looked at or listened to it once, saying instead that when she does finally graduate she wants to listen back to all the songs that at some point in her life meant something to her. 

While I have no such playlist, even though I really wish I did, I have a collection of songs that unlock a hidden compartment of emotions and memories that had since been stored away. For instance, “Never Be Like You (feat. Kai)” by Flume unlocks the memories of me riding the bus in the mornings on the way to my summer music camp, and “505” by the Arctic Monkeys reminds me of the time my roommate and I drove with the windows down. There are even other songs, such as “Heat Waves” by the Glass Animals, that bring about an indescribable feeling that have me sitting in awe. I’m sure I’m not the only one with a collection of tunes that just hits a little differently.

When I found a particularly small teal-toned book on one of my mother’s coffee tables when I was home on winter holiday titled How Music Can Make You Better, the curiosity got the better of me. Written by opera singer and PhD professor at the San Francisco Conservatory of Music, Indre Viskontas, How Music Can Make You Better is a short but in-depth book about music and its effects on our species. It is broken down into three major sections that encompass how music affects us as humans--how our brains interpret sound into music, how music heals us, and how music heals or breaks societies. Written in the grey text on odd blue-colored pages, Viskontas manages to explain why music affects us the way it does. We can listen to music as a distraction—a filler for empty sound—or we can listen to music. Either way, Viskontas believes that “listening to music lets us work through our emotions in a safe environment and walk away if the feelings get too intense” (Viskontas 20). We find meaning behind the notes, the shifts in rhythm and tempo, and in the lyrics if they are provided. Listening to sad music when we’re not feeling all too great about ourselves allows us to “evaluate ourselves and the world more accurately” simply because when we’re sad “we tend to see life more clearly” (Viskontas 65). Yet we can also use music to motivate ourselves through a hard workout since “music can make your energy consumption more efficient… [and] some studies show that people are more motivated when listening to music” (Viskontas 63), which may also explain the need for music when cleaning your room or studying for your next exam. 

The experiences we generate from listening to music aren’t always finite, but rather music can affect us from birth till old age. Music has the unique ability to help medically with pain management following invasive procedures, as well as reduce anxiety prior to and during procedures (Viskontas 55). It can sing infants to sleep while simultaneously reducing anxiety and improving sleep in their mothers (Viskontas 61). Music therapy can help stroke or traumatic brain injury patients regain their abilities to communicate and speak (Viskontas 52), and help Alzheimer patients regain a sense of themselves when listening to music from their twenties (Viskontas 58).

So whether you are my roommate listening to her alternative playlist while cleaning dishes, or me listening to cinematic classical compositions while writing this article, or even someone who has to have no noise in order to focus—for even silence can be music—music brings something into each of our lives that is entirely our own. 

We have personalized experiences and reactions to every song we hear, we love one song that another may dislike, either way music is entirely our own. Through music,we heal, bond, share experiences, and have a safe space to feel and explore our emotions all while still maintaining a sense of individuality.  If you’d care for a more in-depth view on the science behind music and our brains, please check out Indre Viskontas book How Music Can Make You Better.

Isabelle Mohr is a junior college student studying Nursing, but has always valued writing and story telling as a true passion. Outside of school and writing, Isabelle enjoys painting landscapes (specifically Grecian temples), long walks listening to newly-created themed Spotify playlists, and annoying her cat when he wants to be sleeping.

[mercerislandbooks]

Girls With Bright Futures: A Conversation

You’ll be seeing a book on the Island Books new paperback fiction table February 2nd, if you haven’t already spied it on several most anticipated releases of 2021 lists, including Newsweek, Refinery29 and Popsugar. With an eye catching cover, a local setting and an instantly intriguing premise, Girls With Bright Futures is the book everyone is going to be talking about. Taking place in Seattle at the fictional Elliott Bay Academy, and told from three alternating points of view, we get an inside look into the cutthroat world of college admissions and the unrelenting pressure on both the kids applying for college and the parents trying to ensure their success.

I was hooked from the very first page, plunged into the high stakes of vying for the last early admission spot at Stanford, and thankful that my college application days are now in the distant past! Seattle residents and co-authors, Tracy Dobmeier and Wendy Katzman, were kind enough to answer a few of my questions about their book and the writing process. And be sure to check out the details for their book launch at Island Books at the end of the blog!

Welcome Tracy and Wendy! How did you two decide to write a book together?

We’ve been friends for more than 20 years. In fact, Wendy’s husband and Tracy first met when they were right out of college living in Washington, DC. We all ended up in Seattle in the mid-1990s and connected when our oldest kids were toddlers, and the two of us became instant friends. Over the years, we’ve supported each other through careers, motherhood, community volunteer work, and many life events—some wonderful, others terrifying. Throughout it all, we bonded over our deep reliance on humor and our tremendous mutual respect. It’s not an exaggeration to say that we always felt a collaboration on something was inevitable. But for years, the perfect idea eluded us. On long, angsty walks, we batted around book ideas (always non-fiction in those early days), business ideas, and even an idea for a board game. But at the bottom of it all was a desire to better understand the culture of motherhood today—all its rewards and privileges, and on the flip side, the judgment and toxic self-doubt that plague so many of us.

Finally, just when we were starting to launch our kids from the nest, we read two books that really set us off on this path, but for very different reasons. The first was Modern Romance which was a collaboration between the comedian Aziz Anzari and Eric Klinenberg, a sociologist from Columbia, in which they looked at how romance and courtship rituals have evolved over the last 100 years or so. Something about that the way that book took on a culturally relevant topic, combining humor and research really resonated with us and got us thinking about whether we could do something similar with modern motherhood and friendship. But we quickly realized we were neither stand-up comedians nor sociologists, so we were still casting about for an idea.

And then we read another amazing book—Daring Greatly by Brene Brown. We were so inspired. For years, we’d been telling our kids that it’s OK to try new stuff even if it means failing sometimes, and yet we’d been unwilling to take that kind of risk ourselves. And so we thought: If we were going to “go big” and really risk being vulnerable, what would we do? All of the sudden we realized we wanted to write fiction (and please believe us: writing a novel and sharing it with the world is an excruciating exercise in vulnerability!). We wanted to create something, to be free to dream up characters and stories and worlds. The only flaw in this plan was that neither of us had ever written a word of fiction. If only we could figure out how to write a novel, we believed our work ethic and willingness to hold ourselves accountable to each other would get us the rest of the way there. So what did we do? We kid you not...we pulled out our computers and googled: “How do you write a novel?” That was at the end of February, 2016—and the rest is history!

What was the inspiration for Girls With Bright Futures?

Because our book is launching in the wake of the Operation Varsity Blues college admissions scandal, most people assume that salacious news story was our inspiration, but that’s actually not the case. In fact, prior to Girls with Bright Futures, we had already written an entire manuscript featuring college admissions mania as a major theme, but that manuscript was submitted to publishers in 2018 without success. Forced to go back to the drawing board, we ultimately conceived of Girls with Bright Futures in late 2018 and had not only plotted out the entire book but had nearly completed our first draft when the scandal first broke in March 2019!

As far as why we chose this topic in particular, it's kind of a long story! But in a nutshell, when our older boys were in the midst of the college admissions process, each of our husbands suffered a life-threatening health crisis. Thankfully (knock on wood), our guys are alright, but it was such a bizarre coincidence that we both experienced such intense brushes with mortality during the high anxiety of the college admissions process—it felt like a sign we couldn’t ignore. Initially, our writing was more therapy than anything, enabling us to try to make sense of all our feelings. At the same time, we became fascinated by what seemed to be an increasingly competitive and anxiety provoking college admissions process for our kids. We wanted to explore the impacts of all this on families, friendships, students, and school communities.  

The pacing is so good in your narrative, what was your writing process like to make that happen?

Well first, thank you for saying that! We’re staring at each other over Zoom right now trying to remember how it all came together! Before we start writing, we work out every scene—e.g., whose point of view, where the scene starts and ends, and what we need to accomplish. Every scene has a specific purpose to keep the plot unfolding. In addition, we really wanted our story to illustrate and mirror the real-life phenomenon of how an anxiety-fueled action by one character can provoke escalating responses in others. Some of our pacing derives from this tension. Finally, we intentionally juxtaposed humorous or satirical scenes against more serious ones, and dialogue-heavy scenes with more expository-laden scenes. After all, variety is the spice of life (ugh—and cliches are the bane of a writer’s existence!).

How did you decide what kind of representation you wanted in your characters?

Our overarching goal was to write a compelling (even shocking!) fictional depiction of the toxicity of the college admissions process for parents, families, friendships, and communities. There were many different approaches we could have taken and we considered all of these, including race, ethnicity, and income/class. As two white women, we were conscious of not wanting to misappropriate any stories, but we did want to find a way to show how racism rears its head in this setting. We decided to make our three main characters white women of varying socioeconomic levels while incorporating plot twists (no spoilers here) and a whole roster of women whose races and ethnicities are intentionally ambiguous to expose some common racist assumptions in many high school communities. Telling this story through a lens of extreme income inequality allowed us to shine a light on the role of that particular trend as a major driver of anxiety and bad behavior in many school communities. Our hope is that we’ve constructed a story that will stimulate discussion on a range of social justice issues.

What was surprising to you about writing your first book?

Writing and publishing a book are two totally different endeavors. On the writing front, we had no idea how little time we’d spend actually writing our book versus planning it on the front end and revising/editing it on the back end. In terms of publishing, we were initially surprised to learn how much marketing is involved and that the majority of that marketing involves social media (even more so now because we’re launching in a pandemic). As neither of us were remotely active on social media before our publishing journey, we had to push ourselves to overcome our discomfort and there has also been a (very) steep learning curve (like what the heck is an Instagram story for and why do we have to do it?). We’ve been fortunate to have digital natives (i.e., our children) who owe us big-time for all the years we spent raising them. Check out our social media game on Instagram @katzndobs.

What are you working on now?

While we can no longer sit side-by-side at Tracy’s house, we’ve continued working together over Zoom. Our next novel isn’t a sequel to Girls with Bright Futures, but it’s set in a similar world with more parents behaving badly. That’s about all we can say right now!!

And last but not least, at Island Books the staff is always asked about what we’re reading. What are the two of you reading and recommending now?

Tracy: My favorite read over the holidays was The Midnight Library by Matt Haig, and I am currently reading Black Buck by Mateo Askaripour.

Wendy: Eliza Starts a Rumor by Jane Rosen was my favorite read over the holidays, and His Only Wife by Peace Adzo Medie is my current read.

Photo by  @KristenSycamorePhotography

Tracy and Wendy will be at Island Books on Saturday, February 6th from 10am to 2:30 pm for a Covid-era signing of Girls With Bright Futures. A free custom Hello Robin cookie is their special gift to you with purchase of their book, while supplies last! So put on your mask and stop by to support these lovely debut authors and their fantastic book. Hope to see you there! 

-- Lori

[mirceakitsune]

To those who think they have enslaved me today

Congratulations humanity: Today (20 January 2021) the American circus known as the inauguration of tooootally legit president Joe Biden took place. Behind tanks and military walls, Biden committed the political equivalent of masturbation by inaugurating himself to himself... with a little help from a few "important" people who were also there, but since they all wore Covidist masks my brain could only make out the NPC ID's rather than names and traits distinguishing them as individuals. A bunch of flags were shoved into the ground where millions of people would normally sit: The citizens by and for which he was allegedly elected couldn't be there for his inauguration, partly after it was discovered they're not citizens at all but mobs of insurrectionists who are invading their own selves! The empty streets and barbwire fences holding that pesky population back did a great job portraying the inauguration of a president voted by the majority... you could clearly see how loved by the people and legitimately elected he was! My only regret is that Lady Gaga was involved in this spectacle: They should have brought in 50 Cent or Justin Bieber, which would have done an even better job portraying the seriousness of the event and the lucidity of the people who rule us. Biden himself broke a new record, being able to read a speech from his laptop for 10 minutes straight without ever stopping and asking "wait... where am I, who are you people".

At this point the ones who radicalized society and sparked a silent civil war are close to gaining absolute power and becoming an American CCP. I'm well aware of what their next step is: They will harass and terrorize everyone who doesn't bow to their ideology and way of life, by painting them as racist Nazi extremists or a danger in other ways, inoculating systematic fear toward them to the masses. That's how over the past years the Democrat party turned most Americans against its political opponents: Obsessively associating Trump with hate while creating a cult of social justice worship which infiltrated every fiber of society. People happily bought it, even most beings I know are affected by this without even realizing something is up. The ruling elite now has a system of radicalization that works perfectly, ready to be used to program the remote-controlled masses against anyone on command.

As of 2020 the existing system is backed by an imaginary deadly pandemic, which now has an imaginary vaccine to accompany it. The infamous virus story was used to double down on what was started using social (in)justice over the last 4 years, further radicalizing people through fear using a new excuse via a secondary system. This one's more convenient since while you can't tell who is a Trump or Biden supporter just by looking at their face, those of us who don't dress up in cult uniforms (A.K.A. wear a mask) can be easily identified as ideological enemies and targeted for dissent... obviously under the cover of esoteric microscopic shenanigans used to proclaim invisible danger, it's definitely not an ideological dangers they truly fear. We're now divided between those who worship COVID-19 (or rather fear of it) and those who are fighting against ruthless slavery and savage efforts to take our lives away from us. We're about to be divided between "the plagued" and "the vaccinated" soon; I have no doubt that those of us who won't respond to the advances of the medical rapists chasing us with syringes are in for a new wave of persecution, applied brutally and systematically in hope of making us break, until we choose to let ourselves be injected with whatever poison those psychopaths created in their labs.

Now do you think it's just pro Trump people, or those who refuse to wear the muzzle made of cloth, who they will come after in the end? To every niche community who is reading this... furries, bronies, vore, etc... never forget those words: Their system will turn on you too! Once they're seen as an obstacle, they'll infiltrate those communities to "correct" them next... or if they can't or it's not worth it, they'll use fear to convince the majority they're evil and must be exterminated for the greater good. What the hell do you think I kept trying to prevent!? Do you imagine their "great empire" of obedient and socially responsible workers has any place for those like us in it?! Look at what Furaffinity, a furry art site that was infiltrated by Antifa and has its TOS written by its extremists, is now doing to artists who draw not just "socially unjust porn" but even stuff like political art under the lie of fighting hate! No... it's not "just them", no community or individual is safe from their control I assure you.

Many of us will resist until the end: They can put 100 Bidens in power... they are nothing to me, they ceased impressing me long ago; My mind has been prepared since an early age for dealing with this sort of thing, I'm a veteran when it comes to this shit! I lived the last years of my childhood waiting to be kidnapped and taken to a reeducation clinic by everyone around me, where I expected to be tied up and subjected to electroshock conversion "therapy" to have my identity erased. Especially once I realized in what danger I was for imagining thoughts forbidden to people under the age of 18 from my young age... were society able to read my mind and notice, I would have been locked away in a mental institute and injected with drugs until I'd be a vegetable today. But I was smart enough to stay silent and escape, they couldn't access my thoughts to know who I am. The same people who couldn't "purge" my identity when I was young are now back in a far more hideous and demented form, coming after us even as adults to do the same thing: Reprogram us to be ideal members of the glorious society they have planned.

All humanity had to do was simple: Put an end to all doctrines and create a neutral and disinterested government, leading to a world that would keep its nose to the pavement and not care about any social issues any more. Why do you think I supported Trump... because I have any love for that conservative fool? I sided with him because he was going to maintain a safe ignorance... no morals, no empathy, no more being forcefully "protected" by disgusting strangers who allegedly care for you or know better than you, no laws censoring people under the pretext of fighting harm, everyone kept in ignorance so we could be safe from their feelings and assumptions. That's why I waited for the army to arrest Biden today and hold a military trial instead of that silly inauguration... sadly they received a new order, he was allowed to carry on with his sham inauguration for reasons beyond me. Now I have a new desire: I'd like to see Trump arrested! For failing to contain the moral plague enslaving society and destroying our freedom, after he promised us the deep state and its social justice would be exposed live for the world to see what they did. He failed to contain humanity's stupid values and protect us from morality... he is of no use to me either, he could not bring us true freedom.

Just one question for the actual tyrant lovers, who will soon flock and regroup under Biden in their attempt to amalgamate us into their responsible world: How's living the socially responsible life really going? Do you enjoy your slavery? Your blind dedication to "muh fellow man"? This self-sacrifice bullshit, a life free of any joy in the name of safety and protection? You have what you wanted: A world where any dream of being happy is demonized because it's dangerous, where certain thoughts are carefully restricted to certain people, where you're the slaves of "experts" who will inform you what you think and feel without you even having to bother to checking your own mind! How long until it will be YOU that breaks? How much servitude can you take before you too will have had it? Or maybe you're so dedicated that you'll slave away until the end... never snapping, not stopping to wonder how sad and boring this life is and how pointless any sacrifice. What would happen if you knew the technology to give you a perfect and safe life exists, while all significant issues society still faces today are man made, most of the time intentionally? I see more violence and crime on the news: People are finally going nuts and losing it, from being locked up and having masks forced onto their faces! How much until it's finally enough, how much pain must they accumulate, how much damage must they cause, how much until the mainstream finally admits it drove everyone there by forcing its madness on us?

I know they want to see me suffer for resisting them, all their governments and secret services do. But the fun thing is, their followers are suffering far more in the end! For I am the one still sitting here up on my throne, from which they couldn't take me down and make me "socially responsible adult" like them nor involve me in their scary fantasies. I live in the real world: A world that has no issues other than some poverty, where racism is a thing of the ancient past and a joke to worry about today, where viruses are a microscopic fantasy... a modern life where anyone can do whatever the hell they want! Just what we would all have if only everyone simply minded their own business and didn't make a big deal about anything. Now that's reality... the reality they renounced in order to worship fear, for no reason other than getting sick of being too happy! I'm laughing at their burden and all the efforts they make for nothing, fighting against things that don't exist... a burden they could let go of anytime, if only they refused to keep accepting all them responsibilities and demand it. How does it feel like to be the fools in the end, just when you thought I was your victim forever? Because while you pull that mask tightly on your little face to protect "your fellow man" from something that's all in your mind, I piss on it all and still live life freely and happily, the life you allowed taken away from you for no reason! Do you hate me for outsmarting you? I definitely don't mind if you do: Hate is all I have left to feed on in a world like this. And I enjoy it even more knowing no one will ever know nor even be able to comprehend the true reasons why I do this.

[ellenlucasonlinedatingblog]

Why You Shouldn't Give Up Masturbation During the Pandemic

A few years back, a bunch of guys on the internet started challenging each other to go the whole month of November without ejaculating. It’s ��No Nut November,” as they call it. Men do this for a wide range of reasons, with some claiming that it enhances strength, energy, testosterone and/or focus. This year is no exception to the challenge—there’s a 2020 “Quarantine Edition” currently running on Reddit.

The truth, however, is that there isn’t any scientific evidence that giving up masturbation and ejaculation will enhance your health—in fact, if anything, research suggests that there are more potential health benefits to be had by indulging in self-pleasure than by abstaining. And, as I explain below, that may be especially true during the November of COVID-19.

Before we get into that, though, I should mention that this idea of abstaining from masturbation or taking a break from it is good for you is one that has a long history. In fact, we can trace this back to the ancient Greeks and Romans, among whom it was widely believed that sexual abstinence before a major sporting competition was crucial to success. To this day, many still subscribe to this belief; however, scientific evidence that abstinence improves athletic performance just hasn’t materialized.

There isn’t any evidence that masturbatory abstinence improves health, either. In fact, research suggests precisely the opposite: frequent masturbation is linked to more benefits than anything. For example, among men, frequent orgasm and ejaculation have been linked to a lower risk of prostate cancer [1]. Among women, masturbation has been shown to provide relief from symptoms of painful menstruation [2]. Likewise, other research has shown that masturbation may provide relief from chronic pain [2].

Masturbation may also be good for our mental health. This is an activity that a lot of people engage in for stress relief, and many find it to be an effective coping mechanism. For example, in one study of heterosexual men, more than half said they had used masturbation to relieve stress, and this was linked to several positive outcomes [3]. In the words of the study’s author: “individuals used masturbation to reduce stress in a manner which increased clarity, relaxation, [and] calm.”

Research on women has revealed similar findings: many report turning to masturbation specifically for self-care purposes, such as relieving stress and/or help falling asleep [4].

The stress-relieving and relaxing properties of masturbation would seem to be especially important during the COVID-19 pandemic, a period during which levels of stress and anxiety have been significantly elevated for a prolonged period of time. Taking away an effective stress relief tool during this challenging time therefore seems ill-advised.

For a closer look at what the science of self-love has revealed, check out the video below and this article.

It’s worth noting that pretty much all of the research in this area is correlational, meaning we can’t really say what’s causing what. In other words, is masturbation benefiting health, or are healthier people just more likely to masturbate?

That said, if masturbation is something that was truly bad for our health, we wouldn’t be seeing what we’re seeing in the data. So even if we can’t say for sure that masturbation improves health and well-being, study after study shows that it certainly doesn’t appear to be harmful to our health. So maybe it’s time to stop worrying so much about masturbation—and maybe it should be encouraged rather than discouraged during times of high stress.

Watch more videos on the science of sex and relationships here.

Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook (facebook.com/psychologyofsex), Twitter (@JustinLehmiller), or Reddit (reddit.com/r/psychologyofsex) to receive updates.

[1] Rider, J. R., Wilson, K. M., Sinnott, J. A., Kelly, R. S., Mucci, L. A., & Giovannucci, E. L. (2016). Ejaculation frequency and risk of prostate cancer: updated results with an additional decade of follow-up. European urology, 70(6), 974-982.

[2] Brody, S. (2010). The relative health benefits of different sexual activities. The journal of sexual medicine, 7(4), 1336-1361.

[3] Leonard, A. (2010). An investigation of masturbation and coping style. In 38th Annual Western Pennsylvania undergraduate psychology conference.

[4] Carvalheira, A., & Leal, I. (2013). Masturbation among women: Associated factors and sexual response in a Portuguese community sample. Journal of Sex & Marital Therapy, 39(4), 347-367.

Image Source: iStockphoto

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[junker-town]

A conversation with Myron Rolle on the fight against Covid-19

Former NFL player Myron Rolle is now a neuroscience resident. | Instagram/@myronlrolle, SB Nation Illustration

SB Nation caught up with the former Tennessee Titans DB, who’s a third-year neurosurgical resident at Massachusetts General Hospital.

Former Florida State and Tennessee Titans defensive back Myron Rolle is witnessing firsthand the fight against Covid-19. As a neurosurgery resident at Massachusetts General Hospital in Boston, his hospital has been on the frontlines of the coronavirus that’s been ravaging the United States and countries around the world.

Rolle first made headlines in college when he awarded a Rhodes Scholarship during his junior season at FSU. Instead of playing his senior year, he accepted the scholarship, and studied at Oxford University in 2009. After a year in London, Rolle entered the 2010 NFL Draft.

He was drafted in the sixth round by the Titans, where he spent one year on the practice squad before being released. The Steelers signed him to a futures contract, and he was cut again before the 2012 season. He retired without having played in a single NFL game, and enrolled in medical school at FSU in 2013. He graduated in 2017, and is now a doctor.

Currently in his third year of his neurosurgery residency, SB Nation spoke exclusively to Rolle about what his experience has been like working as a medical doctor in the middle of a pandemic, as well as the NFL’s response to the outbreak.

This interview has been lightly edited for length and clarity.

SB NATION: At Mass General, your hospital has been in the heart of the Covid-19 outbreak in Boston, which has over 1,000 confirmed cases. What has that experience been like?

MYRON ROLLE: The hospital has adjusted itself in response to Covid-19, the influx of patients. So walking into the hospital, you immediately realize that you’re playing a different ballgame. You have to wear a mask, I get hand sanitizer as soon as I walk in, and there’s more sanitizing stations around the hospital. There’s also this app that we’re using now to sort of define your symptoms before you even get to work, and if you don’t have any symptoms, you have to show it to the security guards in front to make sure that you’re not bringing in an infection that you may have gotten off the street or from home, so that’s different.

Our operating room is certainly different. We don’t operate as much — it’s pretty much selective cases or emergent cases. The neurosurgical staff has been sort of staggered so that all of us aren’t here and all of us aren’t exposed at the same time.

And then there’s a surge clinic with a hospital within a hospital here at Mass General, which also has recruited non-medical personnel to help manage staff — basically help triage some of these patients who are coming off the street with Covid-19. This surge clinic is accepting and welcoming to people who just want to fight the fight against Covid-19, so it has been definitely a whirlwind.

SBN: What has your hospital’s supplies of personal protective equipment been like?

MR: Here at Mass General, we’re one of the largest hospitals in the New England area and perhaps even the country. We’re Harvard affiliated, so we have a lot of resources just at baseline. I think the hospitals that are being stressed and strained and tested the most would be the smaller ones who are out in the suburbs of major cities.

Nevertheless, our masks are being dispersed around the hospital in a centralized location. For instance, if I was going into the operating room, instead of having the face masks and shields right in front of me, they would be in a centralized location so that they’re better allocated for the people that really need them. And we’ve even been asked at one point to reuse our masks if possible.

SBN: Covid-19 is more dangerous for those over the age of 65, or with pre-existing conditions. What would be your message to young people who perhaps aren’t taking this coronavirus seriously?

MR: I’d say that that’s an irresponsible ideology because you’re still capable of not only contracting the disease, but being an asymptomatic carrier and affecting somebody who doesn’t have the built-up immune system that you have. It’s not just about your convenience, or about your lifestyle at this point; it’s really about the team. It’s about everyone here.

We all have to play our part, including those younger individuals in our community who have a robust immune system and don’t have any of these conditions, who hopefully have a long and fruitful life. This is a time where you need to look beyond yourself and step up and do your active part.

View this post on Instagram

Coming off a 24hr shift. Our hospital has enacted a mandatory “mask on” at all times policy. Future already told us to keep our “mask on” and give out prescription pills when indicated lol. For real though..stay safe, everyone. Do your part. #2% #RepTheSetGottaRepTheSet #FlattenTheCurve

A post shared by Myron Rolle, MD MSc (@myronlrolle) on Mar 22, 2020 at 5:16am PDT

SBN: Switching gears to the NFL for a bit, the league has committed to a 16-game schedule. Is it realistic at this point to see a full season happening as scheduled?

MR: I may be biased because I’m in a hotbed city and state — Boston is going to see a surge even more so than we see now in the next coming weeks. So I may be in a bubble and not speaking with complete objectivity here, but I think that’s ambitious to say that you’ll have a 16-game season and start either on time or just a little bit delayed.

I think we’re going to be going through this for some time. It’s going to take time for us to figure out how to best fix this, manage it, what’s the best vaccine, the therapy, the cure — if we can find one.

Yes, I understand that football and sports in America have been a way for us to get away from some of our most daunting moments. It’s a way for us to bring the country together. We saw it happen with 9/11, with the baseball season was right around the corner and people rallied around sports.

But at this point, I think the health of our country — the progress and the prosperity of our country — relies on these epidemiologists, nurses, doctors, pharmacists who are on the frontlines and trying to make a difference and trying to thwart this pandemic.

Once we get past this phase, we can resume our daily life, including sports like football that we love so much.

SBN: Do you think playing NFL games without fans might be a potential solution to having some semblance of a regular season?

MR: It’s certainly possible, but think about the proximity of these athletes in a communal setting. The locker room, on a bus, in a hotel, they are amongst each other and they can be a nidus for infection if one of these players ends up having Covid-19. Then it spreads and everybody gets knocked out.

It’s best to just be patient right now. Allow some of these amazing scientific minds of women and men around the country and around the world to do their job and do their work.

SBN: The NFL is having the draft on April 23 as scheduled, while following the CDC’s guidelines with respect to large gatherings and social distancing. Do you agree with this decision?

MR: I think that’s certainly reasonable to do a draft virtually. I know a lot of these players have been waiting their whole life to be drafted. I remember myself, I had wanted to be drafted into the NFL for forever and I had to wait until the third day to do it. So I get it, it can be a dream that comes true for a lot of players.

But you have to be smart while doing it. You have to adhere to what the medical professionals and the politicians and the leaders on this fight are saying. And if you can fit within that paradigm, certainly I can see a draft happening.

SBN: What advice would you give to prospects having to deal with the pre-draft process under these unique circumstances?

MR: My advice would be to continue to keep your mind sharp, if you can’t get outside and get some physical work in. Because when this is all done, there’s not going to be a team that looks back on Covid-19 that says, ‘Well I’m going to cut you some slack because you weren’t able to catch the ball or keep your mind sharp in the game.’ They’re going to expect you to hit the ground running.

So whatever it is you can do, [do it], whether it’s getting on the phone with your former coach and going over plays and schemes. Having [them] draw up certain different plays or personnel and you have to think through it like you were a coach — put your mind there.

Be creative, be smart with it, but keep yourself ready because this is not going to be used as an excuse if you are not sharp when everything gets started again. It will get started again — believe that. You have to keep that in mind: There’s going to be an end. I’m optimistic that there will be, [I] just don’t know when. But when it does happen, you have to be on it.

SBN: How has your career in football helped prepare you for one in medicine, and in dealing with a pandemic like this?

MR: Football helped me tremendously, and that’s why I want the sport to stay because it’s so valuable. It’s helped me be a better physician today, certainly. I’ve learned discipline. I’ve learned focus, teamwork, communication. I’ve learned how to overcome adversity, how to prepare. I learned how to win and how to lose graciously. All these things have translated into my life as a physician. In the operating room, it is high stakes, it’s a life-or-death situation in some instances.

A team comes out with five wide receivers, no fullback, quarterback is in shotgun and we didn’t gameplan for that? We didn’t see that at all on tape, this is a brand-new formation they’re showing us? You have to think, ‘how are we gonna match up here, are we just going to fold?’ Or ‘do we have to step forward and meet the challenge?’

Covid-19, in my opinion is something, like that. It’s a personnel that we haven’t seen yet. It’s a novel disease that is different, it’s highly infectious, and it’s just running rampant around the country and around the world. How do we adjust to this? We can’t fold — we have to step forward and meet the challenge.

View this post on Instagram

Now that football’s done, the call is to be a great pediatric neurosurgeon one day, God spare life. But an equally important call is to stand as a representation for young black boys and black girls to see themselves in this journey - achieving more, dreaming bigger and reaching higher. Sometimes it just takes a little push to get the next generation going. And if we’re able to provide that, then that makes life worth the living! They’re up next!! #2% #BlackHistoryMonth ✊ ✊ #Harvard #TheMGHNeurosurgery

A post shared by Myron Rolle, MD MSc (@myronlrolle) on Feb 5, 2020 at 6:39am PST

SBN: As a medical professional, what would be your message to the general public in the wake of this pandemic?

MR: I think going back to when we talked about younger people just having a participatory and active role in stopping this spread. If you have a high infectious rate and just a surge or patients that are incredibly sick to the point that they need hospital care, you put stress on the healthcare system.

Our country hasn’t had its back against the wall like this in a long time with a pandemic that’s hitting so many sectors or our daily life. I’d say that this is a more serious issue than some may have thought, but it’s one that we can get over, and we need to get over it together.

As a team, it’s focusing on lifestyle behavior modifications, proper hygiene, physical and social distancing, and remaining home so that the spread becomes flattened. And that allows some of the wonderful minds that we have working on the frontlines get time to fix this — and not only fix it — but prevent it from happening in the future.