#but I just want closure. it isn’t fair she replied so casually to my text when I said ‘you’ve blocked me’

[deadandphilgames]

oversharing in the tags time :)

[durm-ff]

if it makes you feel better

aaaand drumroll pleasee, i finished my last request!! i really can’t believe it. now i’ll make requests open again! i can’t guarantee that i’ll be faster with them, but i will have some free days this summer, so i’ll do my best :). this one shot head the plot ‘erik gets jealous about something’ so it was pretty vague and i didn’t want to make it basic, so instead i used a book i read recently as inspiration. it turned out to be pretty lengthy, oopsie. enjoy!!

It has been eight days. Eight full days since we said we couldn’t go through with this anymore. And what do I see? He is already with some bimbo he probably picked up one drunken night after we broke up. He is lucky it was the beginning of the summer break and his drunkenness didn’t have any consequences. Otherwise his sudden decision of picking up someone would have turned out disastrous as it seems that pretty little blonde wouldn’t have gotten the hint and would have just gone with him to practice, not knowing she was unwanted. Yes, that’s the idea I got after a second of seeing her. No brains. Awful I know. But who can blame me? We just broke up. Anyone by his side is a brainless bimbo.

But now, with a few days afterwards, he had the perfect opportunity to use her and bring her somewhere he knew I would be so that he can show me he’s moved on. I would lie if I’d say it didn’t bother me, because it did. No matter how well I knew him (and got texts from Matze, Roman, Marc, Julian, basically the whole BVB team explaining the situation), it hurt that he’d think that this is an adult response. That this is how you deal with a break up.

Standing next to a wall at Jonas’s wedding, I couldn’t help but glance at them from the corner of my eye. I came alone holding my head up high, not needing anyone else. Arriving alone at a wedding did not mean that I didn’t have friends, so it wasn’t a touchy subject. And once I arrived, I already saw five people in the first three seconds that I could have just walked up to.

I didn’t though. I didn’t need any questions about the break-up. I didn’t want to just tell my side of the story, and frankly, I didn’t need pouting acquaintances to reassure me that it is okay to be alone at a wedding. First of all, I know it is okay. Second of all, to hell with all of them, I didn’t come alone because I’m a miserable human being but because I felt like this was the way to show people I’m able to handle this. On my own. So damn you all that felt sorry for me.

I wish someone would have held my hand and reassured me that they don’t feel sorry for me but that they’re here just to make sure I’m okay and to help whenever I need them to. Eight days ago that would have been Erik. But it’s not eight days ago anymore.

Instead of a reassuring hand-holding, God thought he was funny and sent me a semi-alcoholic instead, the sister of the groom. Julia (how original, both siblings’ name starting with a J) has known me eversince I’ve known his brother, so the moment me and Erik got together basically. She was never the type to hug you and hold your hand, or tuck you into bed. She was rather your unconsciousness, telling you to stop being a little b*tch and grow up. Then she handed you a drink.

It wasn’t different this time either. She came with two drinks in her hand, one of which she gave to me. As I took a sip I immediately regretted it. ‘Jesus Jules, did you even put something non-alcoholic into this?’ ‘Oh yeah, for sure, just a hint of Coke, the rest is whiskey. The normal ratio’. ‘Ugh’ – I heaved.

‘Don’t tell me this isn’t what you need.’ – she rested her head against the wall and didn’t even look at me. She knew the situation too well. I didn’t even have to explain anything. No, Julia wasn’t touchy-feely, but she wasn’t dumb either. So I shrugged and took another sip, this time trying to keep it down.

-

As the night went on, I did my best not to look at them. I did my best to keep my head up high, be as far away as possible from them and even to get to know people. Maybe the fact that news travelled fast and more and more male’s got to know that I was single, it wasn’t a hard task to achieve, but still. I tried to dance with my friends, I tried to engage in conversation with Erik’s teammates when he wasn’t around them. Wondering where he was at those times was hard, but I needed to do this for myself. Keep your head high.

Even if it was the hardest thing I’ve possibly ever had to do. Keeping your head up when the person you thought you would have a future together just gave up like that. He got a transfer offer to a club he would be able to play more and we were supposed to decide on it together, but there was tension. He wanted to go, and I knew it was his dream, along with me going with him, but I couldn’t just give up my whole life the minute he got an offer. So we agreed on a deadline. We would discuss it later.

Three days before our ‘deadline’ it got to a nasty fight, though. It was the day before the final Cup game and because it was a game that would consume the whole weekend, both of us were nervous and the tension just grew. I guess knowing that we won’t make a decision, it only became worse. Being the more sensible person in our relationship, not meaning to sound arrogant, but to be fair, it could also be seen tonight: he seeked drama, I kept my head cool.

I told him to wait just two days and not do anything that he would regret later. He wouldn’t listen and kept on saying that if I was not ready to take this step towards his dream, he couldn’t see us together anymore. I lashed back, asking that he knew that I wanted my life here and was applying to a master in Dortmund, why does it have to be me to follow him? Again, I reminded him not to say anything he would regret and to just wait two more days, but he didn’t. He said there was no reason to. I applied, and we wouldn’t have time to discuss it anymore.

The thing was, I was applying for a master in his future club’s city as well, but wanted it to be a surprise. If they win the cup, the happinness is even bigger, if they don’t, well, then there is something good after all.

But the fact that he didn’t even try to wait two days, that he didn’t have trust in me, that he wasn’t even trying to do this one little thing, because he thought we were doomed anyway, was the last straw. I agreed with him. We couldn’t do this anymore.

I managed not to run into him or his newly found bimbo all night. When I saw them somewhere, I tried to avoid them. And I think this helped the others also to just focus on the wedding and judging by how we both looked, they thought things were all right and got over it.

When the slow dance songs came on, however, I decided to go out onto the terrace, because I knew if I would have stayed there, I would have broken my facade and blew all that I’ve been working so hard for.

The wedding scene was beautiful. It was an old castle at the country side, with the main hall amazingly converted into a wedding location. The terrace looked onto the garden, but becasue it was dark now, all I could see was a patch of grass in front of the terrace, and the old motives in the tiles.

I rested my arms on the edge of the terrace, just taking in the cool air and finally breathing normally after a whole night of pretending. I was glad there was a place where I could be alone, otherwise the whole wedding group would have seen my embarrassingly sad face, which, of course, was not my goal.

I heard the sound of glass hitting the wall I was leaning on, and I looked to my side. It was a glass of wine put down by Erik. I didn’t even hear him come out. ‘Hey’ – he said. ‘Hey.’ – I replied uneasily. ‘Don’t you have a bimbo to look after? I bet she’s somewhere in there trying to find you because she can’t be on her own.’ I heard him snort and he replied casually. ‘She went home.’ He took a sip of his drink and looked around. ‘It’s really pretty out here.’ ‘Mhm.’ – I answered and took a sip of my own drink.

‘So why did she go home? I thought the whole point was to dance it up all night with her and get wasted.’ – I knew that by this point my burden was gone, he knew that I cared. But he knew me. And we both knew that the second we start talking, it will come out. ‘Because I told her to.’

I slowly looked up and tried not to show him more that I cared, but his answer struck me. Why would he send home the sole evidence that he’s moved on? ‘Yeah. I know what you’re thinking. That it’s pathetic.’

‘Well, yes, the whole thing is pathetic. But sending her home is even worse. Why not complete the reason she came? Now it just looks like bullshit.’ – I contemplained. ‘Because I became sure of you moving on, okay?’ – he said angrily. ‘So there was no reason for me to make you jealous anymore.’

I didn’t expect such an honest reply, but here we were. Right in the middle of it all. ‘Oh, so it was all just to make me jealous.’ – I pretended to be surprised. ‘As if you didn’t know.’ – he sighed and turned around to stare in the same direction I did. When I didn’t reply, he continued. ‘Fuck it, you know what? It’s been driving me crazy seeing you be so..happy? So unbothered by every awkward side of this wedding? You look good. Great, actually! I guess, having someone by my side was supposed to make me feel good about myself, that I’m not here alone. But you were, looking better than ever, and now I was the loser. I was feeling jealous, instead of you.’

I sighed. He was right. He described the situation perfectly. And in his shoes, I would have done the same. Play by open cards, tell everyhting. He had nothing to loose afterwards.

‘I’m not doing great, actually.’ – I said softly, looking out at the garden. He looked at me surprised, not saying anything. ‘And I got jealous too. What, you think eight days after it happened I’m completely fine? Come one, even you wouldn’t buy it.’

We fell silent. We were right where we left it. Both of us knew this wasn’t over. We didn’t have closure. Something still had to be said.

After some minutes Erik put his hand on mine. ‘If it makes you feel better, I won’t sign the transfer.’ I closed my eyes and slightly shook my head. This idiot would risk it all to make it all right. But he didn’t have to. I already risked it all.

‘If it makes you feel better, I already applied to the master there.’

He looked at me and his eyes asked all the possible questions one could ask in this situation. A combination of ‘Are you serious? This isn’t just a joke, right? Are we really doing this now?’ and I nodded. ‘Yes’ – was my answer to all of them.

He suddenly pulled me closer and kissed me, and I could finally smell his cologne up close which struck my nose when he came out to the terrace already. I held him and he held me. When he let go, I grabbed his hand, and we walked towards the hall. Before we stepped in, we looked at each other, and everything fell into place.

[omeglerpsokyeah-blog]

Destiel #34

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi! You both like destiel. You: [College AU. Cas and Dean broke up a couple weeks ago.] (3:53 am) I know we’re not together anymore, and that you’re angry with me, but the nightmares are back and you’re the only one who can calm me down. CN Stranger: [delayed] what were they? DW You: The normal ones. Same as usual. CN Stranger: Are you breathing? DW You: Yeah, but it's hard. CN Stranger: What do you need? DW You: I don't know. How did you used to help? CN Stranger: Normally I was in bed with you. DW You: That was it? You didn't do anything else? CN Stranger: Normally not. Sometimes I used to sing. DW You: Just feel like I'm in a bubble. Can't come back down. CN Stranger: Put some music on, close your eyes and focus on your breathing. DW You: Okay. Okay. CN Stranger: Drink water. DW You: Don't wanna get up. CN Stranger: I used to keep a bottle of water under my side of the bed. Roll over, it should still be there. DW You: [no reply] Stranger: Have you gone back to sleep? DW You: No. CN Stranger: Anything else I can do, dude? DW You: Stop calling me dude. CN Stranger: I call everyone dude. DW You: You never called me dude before. CN Stranger: Yeah...well- the old nicknames don't exactly fly anymore, do they, man? DW You: Man isn't good either. CN Stranger: Buddy? DW You: No. CN Stranger: What then? DW You: Angel. CN Stranger: Cas...DW You: I know. CN Stranger: This isn't...we're not... DW You: I know. CN You: You're seeing someone, right? Sam told me. CN Stranger: No. DW You: Oh. CN Stranger: Sam set me up on a date. DW You: You didn't like her? CN Stranger: It didn't go well. DW You: Good. CN Stranger: Cas. DW You: Sorry. CN Stranger: You can't just...it doesn't work like that. DW You: But I already apologised for what I did. What else can I do? CN Stranger: We're done, Cas. There's nothing else to do. DW You: Please. CN Stranger: What? DW You: [delayed] I don't know. CN Stranger: Goodbye, Cas. DW You: I still love you. CN Stranger: Stop it. DW You: No. CN Stranger: It's over. DW You: We were supposed to get married, and have a life. CN Stranger: I know. DW You: Please. I'm sorry about what happened with Balthazar. CN Stranger: You can be as sorry as you want. Nothing changes. DW You: Okay. CN Stranger: This isn't fair. This has to stop. DW You: I'm sorry. I'll delete your number. CN Stranger: It's for the best. DW Stranger: For both of us. DW You: It's for you. CN Stranger: Cas. DW You: It is. CN You: Everything's fucked up enough. I should at least let you move on. CN Stranger: Stop acting as if you're the victim here! This is your fucking fault. You ruined /everything/. DW You: I know. CN Stranger: Is that it? DW You: Yeah. CN You: I'm sorry, and I'll leave you alone from now on. CN Stranger: Have a nice life, Castiel. I'm done waiting for reasons that don't exist. DW You: Any reason I try and give you will be seen as an excuse. CN Stranger: I can't do this. DW You: Okay. I'll leave you. CN Stranger: [no reply] You: [two weeks later] Has something happened with you and Cas recently? Besides that. SW Stranger: We're done, Sammy. Let it go already. DW You: No, it's not that. I'm just asking because he's kinda been going off the handles recently. So I was seeing if something could've triggered it. SW Stranger: Like what? DW You: Drinking a lot, doing drugs, not hardcore ones but you know, and just letting anybody take advantage of him. SW Stranger: Sexually? DW You: Yeah. SW Stranger: Its nothing to do with me. Talk to his brothers. He listens to them. DW You: He's not talking to his family. Gabe told me. I'll sort it. SW Stranger: Whatever you say, dude. Like I said, got nothing to do with me. DW You: But has something happened? SW Stranger: Oh my god, Samantha. Like what? I haven't fucking seen him. DW You: Stop being bitchy. I don't know. Have you spoke to him since you broke up? SW You: I'm just trying to look out for him, like /you/ asked me to. SW Stranger: Once. DW Stranger: Yeah, well don't get me involved in it. I told you, I'm done. DW You: Could you just speak to him? Please. Get him to see sense. SW You: Just once and if it doesn't work, I'll never ask you to do it again. SW Stranger: He's not going to answer me, is he? Why would he listen to me? DW You: Because he loves you? SW Stranger: Don't be stupid, Sammy. DW You: Whatever. You'll always be too stubborn to believe that. Just do it. For me? SW You: For him. SW Stranger: Then why did.../that/ happen? Hm? Would you do that? DW You: No. SW Stranger: No defence? DW You: No. I won't defend him for that. But I know he loves you. SW Stranger: Fine. And then you never mention his name again. DW You: Scouts honour. SW Stranger: Cas. DW You: Deaann. CN Stranger: Look. Whatever shit is going on, it needs to stop. You're worrying people. DW You: Why the fuck would you care? CN Stranger: Cas. DW You: Let people worry. I'm just having a good time. CN Stranger: Stop this. Please. You're better than that. DW You: No, I'm not. Tell Samuel that I'm fine, or Charlie or Meg. Whoever it was that asked you to ask me because 'he'll listen to you, Dean. He loves you.' CN Stranger: I told him you wouldn't. That you don't. DW You: I won't. But I do. CN Stranger: Do it for yourself, will you? You're better than the casual sex and drug use. DW m You: Nothing wrong with casual sex if it makes you feel wanted, Dean-o. CN Stranger: What are you trying to achieve? DW You: Nothing. I'm just .. you know. Living. CN Stranger: Sounds like a really great life. DW You: Mhm. CN You: Nightmares have stopped, so it must be working. CN Stranger: Fine. Do what you want. I tried. DW You: Okay. Thanks for caring. :) CN Stranger: Your sarcasm doesn't fucking wash with me. Is this the life you really want, now? DW You: No, Dean. But the life I want, I can't fucking have. And before you say it, I /know/ that's my fault. I fucked up. But this helps, alright? The drink and the drugs and the sex. It helps. CN Stranger: My Cas was better than this. DW You: Yeah, well I'm not yours anymore, am I? CN Stranger: You made sure of that. DW You: You left. CN Stranger: Did you really expect me to stay? DW You: No. Just saying. CN Stranger: You know what? Fuck it. Have fun with your booze, and the drugs, dude. Don't forget to use a condom. DW You: Don't call me dude. CN Stranger: Why? What you gonna do, dude? DW You: [no reply] Stranger: [delayed] I would have given you anything you wanted. DW You: Don't. CN Stranger: Fine. Have fun fucking yourself to death. DW You: No, just. I know that. I know everything you could've offered me. CN Stranger: It just wasn't enough, right? DW You: It was. For anyone else, it will be enough. CN Stranger: But not you. DW You: Would it be cliche to say it's not you, it's me? CN Stranger: Don't you dare insult me like that. You give me a proper fucking reason. I'm owed that. DW You: Trust me, I'm trying. I was going to write you a letter, but I just couldn't fucking get the words out. There was just too much happening and you were too much. Too good. There's no way to describe it. I just like to fuck things up, apparently. CN Stranger: Well I'm so satisfied with that answer. Thank you for giving me the closure to move on. Really helpful. DW You: Sorry. CN Stranger: You have /no idea/ what it cost me. To be with you. To be honest with everyone I knew. But I loved you so fucking much and you were worth it. DW You: Loved? CN Stranger: I can't let myself go back there, dude. DW You: Okay. Good for you. CN You: That wasn't sarcasm. CN Stranger: Sure thing, man. Look, you do your thing if that's how you want to live your life. Just answer your fucking texts once in a while. DW You: I will. And thank you for bothering. Really. CN Stranger: Yeah well...you have a lot of free time when what you thought would be a lifelong relationship breaks down. What can I say? DW You: Dean. CN Stranger: Castiel. DW You: You're my everything. My home. And I'm sorry for the pain I caused you. CN You: Now I'm going to go get smashed and hopefully forget this all happened. CN Stranger: Why? I deserve to know that, right? DW You: I don't know. I'm sorry, and you deserve so much better than that. But I don't know. CN Stranger: That's not good enough. DW You: [delayed] I found the ring. CN Stranger: What ring? DW You: The engagement ring in your top drawer. CN Stranger: Keep it. DW You: No. That's why I did it. CN Stranger: What? DW You: I found it, and I freaked out. CN Stranger: Great. DW You: I won't insult you by apologising again, or trying to justify those actions. CN Stranger: Throw the ring away. DW You: No. CN Stranger: Sell it. Give it away. Throw it in the ocean. I don't care. DW You: No. CN Stranger: Then what are you going to do with it? Give it to one of your fucks? DW You: Your mom told me that we'd get engaged one day, and that she couldn't wait to see me with a ring on my finger. I'm not throwing it away. CN Stranger: Swap it for drugs then. DW You: [no reply] Stranger: What do you want me to say? DW You: Nothing. CN Stranger: [no reply] You: [2 days later] Charlie has the ring. She's going to give it to you. CN Stranger: I don't want it. DW You: Too lateeee. CN Stranger: I'm literally going to throw it into the road. DW You: Okie doke. CN Stranger: It was the stupidest thing I ever brought. DW You: Hm. I don't know. Those iron man boxers were pretty stupid. CN Stranger: Shut up. Tony Stark is a genius. DW You: Not on boxers. CN Stranger: Yeah, well at least those boxers never lost me my whole fucking future. DW You: You have a future, Dean. CN Stranger: Not one I fucking want. DW You: You will. CN Stranger: Don't act as if you know. DW You: I do. You're attractive, and funny, and can sing. You'll find someone and you'll love them. CN Stranger: I had someone! DW You: I wasn't worth it. CN Stranger: You were worth everything. DW You: No, you just thought I was. CN You: I have to go. CN Stranger: Then why did I want to marry you? DW Stranger: Whatever. DW You: I don't know. CN Stranger: [no reply] You: [2:52 am] Can you get a hold of Sam? CN Stranger: What's wrong? Is he okay? DW You: Yeah. I'm just trying to ring him and he's not answering. CN Stranger: it's almost 3am. He came home drunk. DW You: Shit. Okay. CN Stranger: Want me to poke him? DW You: Can you ask him to come pick me up, please? Tell him I'm really sorry for waking him. CN Stranger: Where are you? DW You: Near the bridge. You know on 4th? CN Stranger: He can't drive in that state. I'll call you a taxi. DW You: I have no money. CN Stranger: I'll pay in advance. DW You: Okay. Thank you, Dean. CN Stranger: [delayed] it'll be with you in ten minutes. DW You: Thank you. So much. CN Stranger: Yeah...well...don't want you getting ill. DW You: I'm fine. I was just at the club and some dick wouldn't take no for an answer. CN Stranger: He didn't...did he? DW You: No. God, no. Just got a little grabbsy and when I kept turning him down, he took a swing for me. CN Stranger: Tell me he missed. DW You: Would it make you feel better? CN Stranger: Did you hit him back the way I taught you? DW You: No. Didn't want to cause anything. CN Stranger: Are you okay? DW You: Yeah. CN Stranger: Promise? DW You: Promise. Just sore. CN Stranger: Ice. DW You: I know. Remember from when you came back after getting jumped. CN Stranger: Want me to beat that asshole up? DW You: No, it's okay. I have slept with him before, so I guess he just expected it. CN Stranger: Doesn't make it acceptabke. DW You: I know. But I've been fucking around. CN Stranger: Your right. DW Stranger: You're a free man. DW You: I'm tired. CN Stranger: You'll be home in 20 minutes. DW You: I need a plaster. Remember those hello kitty plasters I used to have? CN Stranger: I remember. DW You: That would work well. CN Stranger: Don't you have them still? DW You: No. I used them all on you. CN Stranger: Sorry. DW You: It's okay. :) CN Stranger: I'll replace them. DW Stranger: I'll send you some new ones. DW You: Don't replace me. CN Stranger: What? DW You: You can replace the plasters, but not me. CN Stranger: [delayed] you're irreplaceable. DW You: Good. CN Stranger: I'll send you more with the rest of your stuff that I have. DW You: What do you have? CN Stranger: Couple of DVDS, a sweater, other stupid things. DW You: I have one of your jumpers but I want to keep it. CN You: I'm wearing it right now. CN Stranger: Okay. DW You: Thanks! CN Stranger: I'm tired of fighting. DW You: Okay. CN You: Do you want to see a cute picture of me in your jumper instead? CN Stranger: Not a good idea. DW You: [img attached: cas stood outside in the dark, his eyes squeezed shut and smiling a wide, toothy smile. he's wearing dean's jumper and his bottom lip is split, with a light bruise forming along his jaw.] Too late! CN Stranger: Cas! DW You: Whaaat? CN Stranger: ...get some ice on your jaw. DW You: There's no ice here, Dean. CN Stranger: I mean when you get home. DW You: Oh. Okay. CN Stranger: [delayed] let me know when you get home, angel. DW You: Angel. CN You: I love that. CN Stranger: ...it.., DW Stranger: It was a...slip. DW You: It's okay. CN Stranger: Nothing's okay. DW You: It will be. CN Stranger: And you know that? DW You: Yeah. CN Stranger: How? DW You: Because we always bounce back. Maybe not together, but we will. CN Stranger: Stop the drugs. DW You: No. CN Stranger: please? DW You: It's nothing bad. Just weed. Sometimes E. CN Stranger: /Please/. DW You: Dean. CN Stranger: You do something for me, I'll do something for you? DW You: What? CN Stranger: Your decision. Stop the drugs. DW You: Move on. CN Stranger: That's a big ask. DW You: Try to. CN Stranger: Then you get your life on track against. DW You: I'll stop the drugs. CN Stranger: No drugs, less alcohol, be sensible with the sex. DW You: Sensible? CN Stranger: Use protection, space it out, no orgies... DW You: Deal. But you have to make an active effort to move on. Go on dates and stuff. CN Stranger: You too. DW You: I'll do what you said. CN Stranger: What's the price to get you to move on? DW You: I don't know if I have one yet. CN Stranger: Think. Ehat do you want? DW You: When you move on, and can say you're happy with him/her, I'll be able to. CN Stranger: It's not going to happen. DW You: You said you'd make an effort. CN Stranger: I will. DW You: That's all I ask. We'll review in, like, 3 months? CN Stranger: I want you. DW You: [delayed] You can have me. CN Stranger: I can't. DW You: Why not? CN Stranger: What you did. DW You: [very delayed] Okay. CN Stranger: I can't trust you. DW You: I know. You have every reason not to. CN Stranger: You're not even trying to fight. DW You: I have no argument in my favour. CN Stranger: That shouldn't marrer if you really.,,really wanted me. DW You: I've tried to fight for you. I want you back. But I can't keep begging when I know I've done the bad thing. CN Stranger: Try. One more time. DW You: Come back. Please. I'm so sorry for hurting you. CN Stranger: We can't go back to the way we were. DW You: We can start again. CN You: Any rules you want. CN Stranger: You ruined my proposal. DW Stranger: You could have just said no. DW You: I don't think I would've. It just scared me. CN Stranger: I can't have you do that again. I can't. DW You: I won't. I promise. CN Stranger: How do I know? DW You: You don't. You have to trust me, which I know is a lot to ask. But I won't. I swear. CN Stranger: Baby steps. DW You: Baby steps. CN Stranger: I love you. DW You: I love you, so much. CN You: I'm home, by the way. CN Stranger: You wrecked me. All I wanted is that ring on your finger. DW You: I know. I will never stop telling you how sorry I am. CN Stranger: I don't even know where the ring is. DW You: On my finger. CN Stranger: What? DW Stranger: I thought you gave it to Charlie? DW You: I never gave it Charlie. I just told you that so you'd stop telling me to give it away. CN Stranger: You've been wearing it? DW You: Yeah. CN Stranger: Which finger? DW You: Ring finger. CN Stranger: Which hand? DW You: Left. CN Stranger: Have you fucked anyone while wearing it? DW You: No. CN Stranger: Consider that your promise to me. DW You: Okay. I love you. CN Stranger: If we...ever get to that stage...it'll be your turn to get on one knee. DW You: Deal. CN Stranger: Dinner tomorrow? DW You: Yes, please. CN Stranger: Where? DW You: The diner? CN Stranger: It's not a date right now. DW You: Okay. That's okay. CN Stranger: Just in case... DW You: Incase I mess up again. CN Stranger: Have lube and condoms ready. Is what I neant. DW You: [delayed] /Oh./ Okay. CN Stranger: No promises. But it's been a very long time. DW You: Been a long time since I've enjoyed it. CN Stranger: Wouldn't be a problem. DW You: Never was. CN Stranger: ...balthazar. DW You: No. CN Stranger: Is he...still around? DW You: No. I haven't spoken to him since. NC You: CN* Stranger: You're mine. DW You: I know. CN Stranger: The ring proves it. DW You: Always will be yours. He knew that, too. CN Stranger: How many times? DW You: With him? CN Stranger: Honestly. I need to know, or I'll never move past it. DW You: Twice. CN Stranger: Oh. DW Stranger: I didn't realise it was on more than one occasion. DW You: First was the time. Second was the day you found out and left. I got drunk, and he came over. CN You: And after that, I never spoke to him again. CN Stranger: Was there anyone else? While we were together? DW You: No. CN Stranger: Swear? DW You: I swear. CN Stranger: Swear on something important. DW You: I swear on you. CN Stranger: [delayed] we'll be okay. DW You: Yeah? CN Stranger: Sam will literally tear your throat out if there's a next time. DW You: I am well aware. He gave me a pretty large lecture this time. CN Stranger: Aren't you lucky it was just a lecture? DW You: Sam's a teddy bear. CN Stranger: You haven't seen him really angry then. DW You: No. When he was lecturing me, I was high and crying. So he was nice and got me ice cream. CN Stranger: It's going to be a tough few months. DW You: I know. But we can do it. CN Stranger has disconnected.