lover-of-mine

[lover-of-mine]

The way people reduce the anxiety and hurt Belly felt to "he forgot a corsage because his mom was dying and Belly keeps pushing him for it" is so ????? It's not about the fucking corsage, hell, Conrad admits to being detached so Belly would break up with him. He admits to being a shitty boyfriend. Because he was. And yes, his mom was dying and, yes, he was in a horrible situation, but it doesn't negate the impact he had on Belly by not letting her in and instead making the decision for her. This man said to her face that he never should've started something with her. He told her to her face he doesn't want her. The first time he said he loves her is during the weekend she's supposed to marry someone else. And you're saying Belly is stupid for not falling into Conrad's arms and calling off her wedding? When this is a man who said "go be with Jeremiah, he's the one that wants you, not me"? Bitch, if I was in Belly's shoes, I would've turned into the joker.

Look, I don't even think Belly should be with Jeremiah. I wouldn't forgive the Lacie situation. But people will drop out of the ceiling to say "oh but Conrad's mom was dying 🥺" to justify how he was behaving, but can't find a single moment of empathy toward Belly, how he made her feel. News flash, bestie, being depressed doesn't excuse you for the consequences of your own actions.

[lover-of-mine]

Look, I don't even think Belly should be with Jeremiah. I wouldn't forgive the Lacie situation. But people will drop out of the ceiling to say "oh but Conrad's mom was dying 🥺" to justify how he was behaving, but can't find a single moment of empathy toward Belly, how he made her feel. News flash, bestie, being depressed doesn't excuse you for the consequences of your own actions.

[lover-of-mine]

I'm going insane because I just saw a therapist explaining why she doesn't support Conrad and Belly together because of the way Conrad behaves in s1 and 2 and people in the comments are all " but he's grown now" and "he was just depressed" and "his mom was dying, Belly had no empathy for his feelings" and all sorts of stuff including calling her names (which is kinda crazy how far people are going, as off not wanting a Conrad is somehow a moral failing, but hey, I've been on her shoes). But most of all people keep saying Conrad is the goal. And I keep thinking "date a Conrad" not therapized, in med school, taking care of you, trying his best, s3 Conrad. I mean be the 16 year old girl as in love as you believe a person can be and watch a dude you know loves you refuse to let you love him to the point it leaves you questioning what was real and what wasn't. The guy who acts on his feelings but takes it back because it makes him too vulnerable. The guy who forces you to walk away because he can't just let you all the way in and it gets to a point you can't hold on anymore. The guy who tells you to move on but asks you not to marry the person treating you right. Be in that emotional blender, then tell me how you would love a Conrad. Please, Conrad not having ill intentions don't change the fact that he deeply hurt Belly.

[lover-of-mine]

"all those foolish things we did, we only ever wanted to go together. thats love. you dont find it son you make it" <- WHAT THE HELL THAT WAS IN SEASON 2 AND THEYVE BEEN MAKING IT EVER SINCE. i cant do this anymore. thats love THATS LOVE. WHAT ARE WE DOINHERE

[lover-of-mine]

eddie said “you’re not thinking about jumping ship are you” and “you ain’t getting past me” in the same episode buck realized he was bisexual and people still don’t think they’re doing buddie btw

[lover-of-mine]

eddie said “you’re not thinking about jumping ship are you” and “you ain’t getting past me” in the same episode buck realized he was bisexual and people still don’t think they’re doing buddie btw

[lover-of-mine]

Buddie in Every Episode:

8x01 - “Buzzkill”

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#something something mirrored color palettes something something Shannon begging to be let back into the family something something Eddie making sure Buck knows he will always have family with him something something

2x07 “Haunted” -> 8x17 “Don't Drink the Water”

[lover-of-mine]

#something something Eddie denying Shannon Christopher as she begs because he doesn't know if he can trust her something something Eddie willingly offering Christopher to Buck because there's no one he trusts like him something something being ambushed vs deciding to do it something something mirror placement something something similar rooms surrounded by glass something something same color palette

2x10 “Merry Ex-Mas” -> 4x14 “Survivors”

[lover-of-mine]

I don't have a song name for this one, Sadie Jean posted the snippet, and I was seeing pining Eddie visions, now I'm here. I am guessing the song is gonna be called slowburn tho lol.

[lover-of-mine]

Song: Nauseous by Conan Gray

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911 + Times Ravi ends up working as a personification of Buck's abandonment issues

4x06 “Jinx” -> 5x05 “Peer Pressure” -> 5x09 “Past Is Prologue” -> 5x18 “Starting Over” -> 7x04 “Buck, Bothered and Bewildered” -> 8x11 “Holy Mother of God” -> 8x16 “The Last Alarm” -> 8x18 “Seismic Shifts”

[lover-of-mine]

Buddie Countdown to Season 9:

50 days.

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Buddie in Every Episode:

8x02 - “When the Boeing Gets Tough…”

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"Oh, but Anna was he tortured and misunderstood" well, his mom wasn't dying but he did find out his father had a secret 5 yo. That will make a man very tortured and misunderstood, that's for sure lol

I have a lot of empathy for belly in the beach scene also because I know what it's like to hear an I love you from an avoidant for the first time and not know if he's saying it because he feels it or because he thinks he lost me for good and is trying to pull me back in, and let me tell you, horrible experience, -100000/10 do not recommend.

[lover-of-mine]

My therapist watching all the progress I made by writing catch 22 be undone by Amazon prime's weekly ragebait:

[lover-of-mine]

Like, this man told me he would crash my wedding when I got engaged. He showed up to tell me I couldn't marry the guy I was with for NINE YEARS because he would crash the wedding. This mas has told me that no matter what he would be waiting for me to come back to him. Two of the girls he dated in the 9 years I was with my ex had told me they broke because of me, because he straight up told them "Anna wouldn't treat me like this" because they weren't bending to his every whim. He called me when we hadn't talked for over a year to tell me some file dumped him because she found a gift a gave him and wanted him to get rid of it but he couldn't do it. This dude had me in the palm of his fucking hand when we were 16-17. And he played me at every turn, gave me just enough to keep me coming back. Until I moved for uni and my world expanded beyond our town and him and I couldn't justify holding on to him anymore. And the second moved on, the second he noticed I was serious about my ex, he suddenly loved me. He cried when I got engaged. And this dude had me. I would've gone to war for him. But he didn't want to meet me halfway. He refused to talk to me, to do something, hold on to it. And ever since he shows up every 6 months to tell me no one can love him like I did. Because he thinks that there's still a world were we end up together, when ending up with him would only be a success story for him. And it doesn't matter if he really changed and he can be serious about me now, everything he did isn't something that allows me to give him a blank slate just because now he's ready and now he knows he loves me. This shit never works. The first love is not all you have.

I have a lot of empathy for belly in the beach scene also because I know what it's like to hear an I love you from an avoidant for the first time and not know if he's saying it because he feels it or because he thinks he lost me for good and is trying to pull me back in, and let me tell you, horrible experience, -100000/10 do not recommend.