#source: incorrect quote ideas

[smthfunnyhappenedonthewaytor3]

Lelouch: I wanna kiss you and buy you things that you want. Suzaku: Aww, I wish I could do those things too. Lelouch: Shut up, you’re the more depressed one these days.

[incorrectstation19quotes]

Andy: Why did you get here so late?

Theo: Well...

Travis: We were in the elevator for fifteen minutes panicking, thinking we were stuck.

Vic: Only to find out nobody pressed the button.

[toomanyincorrectquotes]

Nick: this date is boring

Jess: this isn’t a date. i told you i was going to the store

Nick: then why did you invite me?

Jess: i didn’t. i specifically said “do not come with me” and you said “don’t tell me what to do” and followed me here

[incorrectgenshin]

Hu Tao: *closes the kitchen cabinet too hard*

*muffled sound of glass crashing*

Hu Tao: You hear that sound, Zhongli?

Zhongli: I do.

Hu Tao: That's the sound of somebody else's problem.

[themiraculousladyblog]

Marinette: Okay, windows are locked, doors are locked. No more interruptions. Marinette: *climbs into bed* Chat Noir, under the bed: Hey. Marinette: LITERALLY HOW THE FUCK—

Chat Noir, snuggling beside Marinette: You're the best thing that has ever happened to me. You're my star, the light in my darkest days.

Marinette, jumping awake: What the heck- I thought I locked the door?!

Chat Noir:

Chat Noir: The window was open.

[incorrectbatfam]

Bruce: Tim, we need to talk about your last will.

Tim: What about it?

Bruce: Well, the fact that you wrote a will.

Bruce: Also, the only thing you wrote was "bury me with seven extra bones to fuck with the archaeologists lmao."

[junemo10]

Merlin: *Sneaks into the castle at 2am after fighting a magical evil*

Arthur: *turns around in a swivel chair* care to tell me where you were?

Merlin, hiding magical object behind his back: uh I was… with Gwaine!Tavern nights you know…

Gwaine: *also turns around in swivel chair* Care to- *keeps spinning* wait- help I can’t stop-

[definitelyincorrect]

Tony: Why did you get here so late?

Harley: Well…

Peter: We were in the elevator for fifteen minutes panicking thinking we were stuck

Harley: Only to find out that neither of us pushed the button.

[incorrect-agatha]

Agatha: Rule one of witchcraft, use whatever tools or tricks necessary to stay ahead of everyone else.

Agatha: Rule two, never give out information for free.

Agatha: Rule three, while teamwork is required to get to the Road, you should otherwise handle things yourself. Do you understand all of this so far?

Billy, writing “gaslight, gatekeep, girlboss” in his tiny notebook: Yup, makes perfect sense.

[corvus-for-ddd]

[incorrect-fnaf-quotes]

*During Hexa Havoc*

Cartoon Frankie: WHAT THE-

Monster Frankie: Fuck.

Cartoon Frankie: ARE YOU DOING?! YOU-

Monster Frankie: Fucking.

Cartoon Frankie: IDIOT!

Lucky Contestant: ...What was that?

Monster Frankie: He can’t swear without it being censored, so I’m helping him out.

[smthfunnyhappenedonthewaytor3]

Rivalz: What did you guys get in your yearbook? Milly: Prettiest Smile. Shirley: Nicest Personality. Kallen: Most likely to start a bar fight. Suzaku: Least likely to start a bar fight but most likely to win one.

[incorrectstation19quotes]

Jack: Can I have some?

Andy, mouth full of cheesecake: Nah, it's really spicy. You wouldn't like it.

[were-wolverine]

batfam and the JL as incorrect quotes

*in the batmobile*

Robin (12 y/o Dick Grayson): Have I ever told you how much I love you?

Batman: We are not stopping at McDonald's.

Robin: This is bullshit.

***

Tim: I have an idea. It's deceptive and borderline unethical.

Damian: I'm listening.

***

*at a gala*

10 y/o Dick, to Lex: It was nice meeting you!

Bruce: No, it wasn't.

Dick: We hate you!

***

Batman: What's the point of all of this?

Red Hood: Revenge!

Batman: The best revenge is living well.

Red Hood: Well, there's no chance of that.

***

Tim: So, what’s the plan?

Steph: I don’t know. You’re smart, Damian is mean, come up with something.

***

Bruce: YOU MEAN A LOT TO ME!

Clark: Wh-

Bruce: YOU'RE ESSENTIAL TO MY EXISTENCE!

Clark: Why are you screaming?!

Bruce: I HAVE DIFFICULTY EXPRESSING MYSELF! IT HELPS TO SAY SENTIMENTAL THINGS IN AN AGGRESSIVE TONE!

Clark:

Bruce: I FUCKING LOVE YOU!!!

***

Dick, cradling Wally’s face lovingly: Hey. I spilled superglue on my hands.

***

*at the Watchtower*

Green Lantern (Hal Jordan): Is Batman… laughing?

Flash (Barry Allen): *nods*

Green Lantern: I’ve never been more scared in my life.

***

Jason: I know we’ve always had this unspoken rivalry.

Tim: Not a rivalry, you’re just always mean to me. And not unspoken, you talk about it all the time.

***

Harley Quinn: I did it for love!

Nightwing: Cool motive, still murder.

***

Harley: I’m not a thug, I’m a law abiding citizen!

Signal: Okay, then name one law.

Harley: Don’t kill people.

Signal: That’s on me, I set the bar too low.

***

Cass: I was thinking about how I’d make the perfect American president, based on my skill set, dance ability, and blood lust.

***

Dick: Tim, please keep an eye on Damian today. He’s gonna say something to the wrong person and get himself punched.

Tim: Sure, I’d love to see Damian get punched.

Dick: Try again.

Tim: ….I will stop Damian from getting punched.

***

*after a JL meeting*

Batman: Flash, can I speak to you for a minute.

Flash (Wally West): Oooooh, someone’s in trouble!

Batman:

Flash: It’s me. I don’t know why I did that.

***

Hal: And, once again, Green Lantern and the Flash save the day!

Diana: You didn’t do anything. It was all Barry.

Hal: We’re a package deal. Everyone knows that.

***

Nightwing and Red Hood: *looking at a suspicious stain*

Red Hood: Gasoline? I’m pretty sure that’s water. Well, only one way to tell.

Red Hood: *lights a match and sets the stain on fire*

Nightwing: There were definitely more ways to tell!

***

Bruce: I tried to acknowledge her feelings. It wasn’t easy. There were a lot of them.

[earlier that day]

Selina: I’m just so confused- Are you… are you climbing out the window?

Bruce: *halfway out the window*

Bruce:

Bruce: No.

***

*at a bar*

Jason: Thanks for the advice. I gotta go.

Roy: Um, aren’t you forgetting something?

Jason:

Jason: *hesitates before awkwardly kissing him on the forehead*

Roy: No! Pay your bill! Damn, who raised you?

[incorrectquotesmcu]

Clint: That’s a pretty rock.

Y/N: Natasha gave it to me.

Natasha: I threw it at you.

Y/N: She’s very sweet.

[filmyocean]

Steve, in line at a coffee shop: Hi, can I get a venti vanilla latte with uhhh, seven shots of espresso? Eddie, right behind him: Jesus Christ, Harrington. Just do cocaine