#source b99

[appendingfic]

Sonic: Stone and you just need to bone.

Eggman: BONE?

[ijustgotherebro]

Emberlynn: ok here are the ground rules you can punch me, kick me, pull my hair, I am A-OK being stabbed, biting and scratching are on the table you can use fire.

Some poor demon who has no idea what he got himself into: these are the ground rules, is there anything off limits?

Emberlynn: daaamn man, you got something really sick you wanna do huh? You little pervert. All right I like it don't tell me, surprise me.

[hello-waffles-are-good]

[Young Justice just chilling, writing up cases and such]

Bart, abruptly getting up: omg I've gotta go-

Tim, unbothered: aren't you forgetting something??

Bart: ???

Bart, hesitantly: uh... *Kisses forehead, then speeds away*

Tim, calling after him: No! Sign your REPORT! Damn, who taught you?

[moonyswarmsweaters]

Regulus: Barty, can I talk to you for a second? Barty: Yeah, what’s up? Lemme guess. You and James are having problems and you want me to teach you how to kiss? Regulus: What? No, stop that. I know how to kiss. I’ve read books.

[everwalldigan]

Bruce to the JL while Dick is using him as a jungle gym: this is Robin. I’ve only had Robin for 5 days and a half but if anything happened to him I would kill everyone in this room then myself

[mysterylilycheeta]

Xaden: Why are you wincing? Did you get injured? Violet: I wasn't injured. Xaden: Oh then- Violet: I was just lightly stabbed. Xaden: I'm sorry, YOU WERE STABBED?! Violet: Lightly stabbed, I didn't want to frighten you.

[thebat-musicman]

Bruce: Let me show you a picture from last night that really upset me

Tim: Okay, but in my defense, Steph bet me 50 cents I couldn’t drink that shampoo

Bruce: That’s not what I wanted to-you drank SHAMPOO?!

[stargirlexpressss]

Another b99 AU meme, cause you guys liked the idea.

i’m sort of in an art slump cause i hate everything I make so i’m forcing myself to post this.

[adharastarlight]

Regulus: well, I don't like Potter anymore, so it's time for me to get back out there and spread my-

Barty: legs

Regulus: wings. My legs?! No, spread my wings thats-

Evan: I mean, either way

Regulus: no, not eith... actually

[ktkat99]

Bruce, walking up on Dick, Jason, Steph, and Cass, hiding by the door to the med bay

Bruce- What's going on?

Dick- Damian's doped up on pain meds thanks to a bad fight with Killer Croc...

Jason- And Tim hasn't slept in four days

Steph- Damian's showing Tim his new goldfish, which he's keeping in a mason jar at the moment

Cass- Tim brought Damian some lemonade he and I made. It's also in a mason jar

Bruce- Oh, no...

Dick- We're taking bets on what happens first. Will Damian put fish food in the lemonade? Or will Tim-

Steph- DAMIAN JUST DRANK HIS OWN FISH

Dick- What?! Noo!!!

[unicornblossom13]

Optimus [easily lifted into the air by just one of Megatron’s hands around his waist]: Do I even weigh anything to you?

Megatron: No, it’s like holding a single grape.

[incorrect-bridgerton-family]

Penelope: I don’t have feelings for Colin anymore. So, time for me to go out there and spread my-

Madame Delacroix: Legs.

Penelope: Wings. Get out there and spread my legs?!

Madame Delacroix: Well, either way.

Penelope: No. Not either way. Only wings.

[ijustgotherebro]

Coach: nice work

Shakes: thanks dad

*silence*

Shakes: why is everyone staring at me?

Cool joe: you just called coach dad you said thanks dad

Shakes: what no i didn't i said thanks man

Coach: do you see me as a father figure shakes?

Shakes: no if anything i see you as a bother figure cause your always bothering me

Dancing rasta: eh show your father some respect

Shakes: i didn't call him dad

Coach: no no no shakes i take it as a compliment

Klaus: it's not a big deal remember when i called that reporter mom once?

Shakes: guys jump on that

El matador: thats old news, but you calling coach daddy

Shakes: hey daddy is not on the table here

Skarra: you did call him dad dude

Shakes: you shut up you've done nothing but lie since you got here

Skarra: alright i was lying about my team leaving me behind so i could get on your bus and sneak itching powder into all your shoes, but the dad thing that happened

Shakes: aha! He admitted it all part of my crazy devious plan

Coach: i believe you

Shakes: thank you

Coach: son you wanna talk about it later over a game of catch

Shakes: *sighs* i'd like that

[shyjusticewarrior]

Damian: I know you think my judgement's clouded cause I like Nika a little bit-

Talia: You doodled your wedding invitation.

Damian: No, that's our joint tombstone.

Talia: My mistake.

[moonyswarmsweaters]

Regulus: Do you wanna know how I actually hurt my wrist?

Barty: Yes

Regulus: I was hula-hooping. James and I attend a class for fitness and for fun

Barty: Oh my god

Regulus: I've mastered all the moves. The pizza toss, the tornado, the scorpion, the oopsie doodle

Barty: Why are you telling me all this?

Regulus: Because no one will ever believe you

Barty: You sick son of a bitch.

[livsoulsecrets]

*Jason shows up to patrol with a broken wrist*

Jason: Do you want to know how I actually broke my wrist?

Tim: yes?

Jason: I was hula hooping. Dick and I attend a class both for fitness and for fun.

Tim: Oh my God.

Jason: I’ve mastered all the moves. *shows pics*

Tim: Why are you telling me this?

Jason: Because no one will ever believe you.

Tim: You sick son of a bitch!