#source b99

[appendingfic]

Sonic: Stone and you just need to bone.

Eggman: BONE?

[ijustgotherebro]

Emberlynn: ok here are the ground rules you can punch me, kick me, pull my hair, I am A-OK being stabbed, biting and scratching are on the table you can use fire.

Some poor demon who has no idea what he got himself into: these are the ground rules, is there anything off limits?

Emberlynn: daaamn man, you got something really sick you wanna do huh? You little pervert. All right I like it don't tell me, surprise me.

[holy-incorrectquotes-batman]

Damian: I’ve only said “I love you” to three people; Mother, Father, and Richard. And one of those I regret. Jon: Which one? Damian: Richard. He didn’t die, so now I look like an idiot.

[hello-waffles-are-good]

[Young Justice just chilling, writing up cases and such]

Bart, abruptly getting up: omg I've gotta go-

Tim, unbothered: aren't you forgetting something??

Bart: ???

Bart, hesitantly: uh... *Kisses forehead, then speeds away*

Tim, calling after him: No! Sign your REPORT! Damn, who taught you?

[moonyswarmsweaters]

Regulus: Barty, can I talk to you for a second? Barty: Yeah, what’s up? Lemme guess. You and James are having problems and you want me to teach you how to kiss? Regulus: What? No, stop that. I know how to kiss. I’ve read books.

[shyjusticewarrior]

Red Hood Incorrect Quotes Pt 70

Jason: If I run and leap at Roy, he will most certainly catch me in his arms.

Jason, running: Coming in!

Roy: No-I'm-holding-coffee! *drops coffee and catches him*

Jason: Knock knock.

Roman: Who's there?

Jason: Amish Hank.

Roman: Amish Hank who?

Jason: Imma shank you! *stabs*

[everwalldigan]

Bruce to the JL while Dick is using him as a jungle gym: this is Robin. I’ve only had Robin for 5 days and a half but if anything happened to him I would kill everyone in this room then myself

[mysterylilycheeta]

Xaden: Why are you wincing? Did you get injured? Violet: I wasn't injured. Xaden: Oh then- Violet: I was just lightly stabbed. Xaden: I'm sorry, YOU WERE STABBED?! Violet: Lightly stabbed, I didn't want to frighten you.

[unicornblossom13]

Optimus [easily lifted into the air by just one of Megatron’s hands around his waist]: Do I even weigh anything to you?

Megatron: No, it’s like holding a single grape.

[fourdollarwords]

[percabethconvos]

[During TLT in Hades' Palace]

Annabeth, about to sacrifice herself: I've only known Percy for two weeks but if anything happens to him or his mom I'm killing everyone here and then myself

[thebat-musicman]

Bruce: Let me show you a picture from last night that really upset me

Tim: Okay, but in my defense, Steph bet me 50 cents I couldn’t drink that shampoo

Bruce: That’s not what I wanted to-you drank SHAMPOO?!

[ijustgotherebro]

*Pov* Peter and Ava are going undercover as guests in a tropical resort*

Ava*trying to sound in character* this b needs a c in her a

Peter: omg!

Ava: this babe needs a coconut in her arms?

Peter: ooh, I thought you were saying this b**** needs a c*** in her a**

Ava: omg!

Peter: yeah that was my reaction

[holy-incorrectquotes-batman]

Bruce: I am sorry that you had to witness such a vicious fight. Duke, still new to the family: Oh? Was that a fight? Bruce: Are you kidding? Alfred said "you'll have to excuse me" instead of "please, excuse me." May as well spit in my face.

[veryberryjelly]

hey girl!!! I think ur still writing for jake from b99 (hopefully) so i was wondering if i could request him with a reader who's on her period and she's working, jake brings her home and comforts her (cause her cramps are rlly bad) <3

jake peralta x fem!reader

cw : reader is described as female, reader has truly bad cramps

𝐍𝐀𝐕𝐈𝐆𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍

as a woman, one of the necessities of life was making sure you could function during your period.

if you didn't have a way to cope, it was hard, or almost impossible to do day to day tasks such as going to work.

and you had your emergency kit in your desk drawer. heating pad, tampons, spare underwear, pads and some pills your doctor had prescribed to you when you explained how bad your cramps could get.

and while you would usually replenish your kit a few days before your period started, you hadn't expected the wave of cramps that overtook you as you sat at your desk.

"shit-" you muttered under your breath when you felt the first one.

you were quick to open your drawer and look for the familiar yellow bottle, only to find it empty.

your stomach dropped and another cramp rolled through your abdomen.

you couldn't do much about it now, only put on a heating pad, change your underwear and put on a pad.

so that's exactly what you did. you grabbed your necessary supplies and headed towards the bathroom, making an extra effort to walk straight instead of hunched over.

you felt a pair of eyes on you briefly but just ignored it, knowing your priority at the moment.

when you returned to your desk, heating pad in place over your abdomen, you felt a tiny bit better, but the cramps were still coming fierce and fast.

it must've been the crease in your brow that alerted jake of your discomfort because after a few moments you saw a figure sit down at the side of your desk.

you picked your eyes up to find his familiar brown eyes. a soft smile settled briefly on your lips.

" what's up ?" you questioned, dropping your pen down on your desk quietly as to not aggravate the headache you could feel forming.

" you doing okay ?" he questioned, his voice quiet and comforting.

you should've known jake would notice you acting off. he knew you too well not to notice.

" yeah, i'm fine-" you paused momentarily when you felt a stabbing pain in your lower back. " just cramps "

early on in your relationship jake had found out just how bad your cramps could be. after you had to cancel a date last minute saying you were unwell and he showed up to your apartment with takeout. you had just been honest with him and told him you got really bad cramps.

he wasn't rude or grossed out, he just asked how he could help and you ended the night curled on your couch with his arm draped over your stomach, his palm splayed out under your t-shirt on your abdomen.

since that night he had always been there when you needed him to be.

" v'you taken anything ?" he questioned, his voice still slightly hushed.

" haven't replenished my prescription "

a small hiss came from his lips as he took in the repercussions of you not having the thing that made these few days more bearable for you.

" d'you want me to go and refill it for you ?" his suggestion made your heart melt and you reached your hand over to squeeze his hand lightly.

" it's okay, i can wait a couple hours. can we go by the pharmacy on the way home, though ?" you asked to which he nodded immediately.

he gave your hand a small squeeze, giving you a comforting smile before he departed back to his own desk.

you thought you could wait until the end of the work day, but your cramps only worsened over the next hour.

you couldn't focus on your case reports over the stabbing pain through your body.

" c'mon i'm taking you home "

you lifted your head to find jake stood by your desk, his jacket on and his bag over his shoulder.

" jake, you don't have to do this. i'm fine, and we've both got st-"

" would you just let me do this for you? i talked to holt and he's giving you the afternoon off and i'm taking you home. " the way he said it left almost no room for discussion. he was taking you home and that was the end of it.

you didn't debate with him, just pulled your jacket over your shoulders and picked up your bag.

his hand slipped easily into yours as the two of you walked out of the precinct and down towards the parking lot.

the drive back to your apartment wasn't a long one, it felt a lot better after jake hopped out at the pharmacy and returned to the car with your prescription in his hand along with a bottle of water.

when you arrived home, jake told you to go and shower, change and get settled on the couch while he made some tea.

you were quick to go into your bedroom, grab one of jake's t-shirts and a pair of long pyjama pants and get take them into the bathroom.

your shower was quick but definitely made you feel a bit better. when you stepped out you changed into the clothes you had gotten out and walked out into the living room.

you found jake sat on the couch on his phone, a mug of tea on the coffee table beside a hot water bottle and one of your cosiest blankets on the couch.

nothing was said as you sat down and leant into jake's frame, his arms wrapping around you swiftly. he simply offered you the remote and made minimal comments when you put on a film you both enjoyed.

though as much as you enjoyed it, your head went limp against jake's chest within the first half an hour.

[moonyswarmsweaters]

Regulus: Do you wanna know how I actually hurt my wrist?

Barty: Yes

Regulus: I was hula-hooping. James and I attend a class for fitness and for fun

Barty: Oh my god

Regulus: I've mastered all the moves. The pizza toss, the tornado, the scorpion, the oopsie doodle

Barty: Why are you telling me all this?

Regulus: Because no one will ever believe you

Barty: You sick son of a bitch.