#source b99
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ijustgotherebro · 3 months ago
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Emberlynn: ok here are the ground rules you can punch me, kick me, pull my hair, I am A-OK being stabbed, biting and scratching are on the table you can use fire.
Some poor demon who has no idea what he got himself into: these are the ground rules, is there anything off limits?
Emberlynn: daaamn man, you got something really sick you wanna do huh? You little pervert. All right I like it don't tell me, surprise me.
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hello-waffles-are-good · 7 months ago
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[Young Justice just chilling, writing up cases and such]
Bart, abruptly getting up: omg I've gotta go-
Tim, unbothered: aren't you forgetting something??
Bart: ???
Bart, hesitantly: uh... *Kisses forehead, then speeds away*
Tim, calling after him: No! Sign your REPORT! Damn, who taught you?
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moonyswarmsweaters · 1 month ago
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Regulus: Barty, can I talk to you for a second? Barty: Yeah, what’s up? Lemme guess. You and James are having problems and you want me to teach you how to kiss? Regulus: What? No, stop that. I know how to kiss. I’ve read books.
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thebat-musicman · 4 months ago
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Bruce: Let me show you a picture from last night that really upset me
Tim: Okay, but in my defense, Steph bet me 50 cents I couldn’t drink that shampoo
Bruce: That’s not what I wanted to-you drank SHAMPOO?!
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adharastarlight · 1 year ago
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Regulus: well, I don't like Potter anymore, so it's time for me to get back out there and spread my-
Barty: legs
Regulus: wings. My legs?! No, spread my wings thats-
Evan: I mean, either way
Regulus: no, not eith... actually
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ktkat99 · 1 year ago
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Bruce, walking up on Dick, Jason, Steph, and Cass, hiding by the door to the med bay
Bruce- What's going on?
Dick- Damian's doped up on pain meds thanks to a bad fight with Killer Croc...
Jason- And Tim hasn't slept in four days
Steph- Damian's showing Tim his new goldfish, which he's keeping in a mason jar at the moment
Cass- Tim brought Damian some lemonade he and I made. It's also in a mason jar
Bruce- Oh, no...
Dick- We're taking bets on what happens first. Will Damian put fish food in the lemonade? Or will Tim-
Steph- DAMIAN JUST DRANK HIS OWN FISH
Dick- What?! Noo!!!
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incorrect-bridgerton-family · 6 months ago
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Penelope: I don’t have feelings for Colin anymore. So, time for me to go out there and spread my-
Madame Delacroix: Legs.
Penelope: Wings. Get out there and spread my legs?!
Madame Delacroix: Well, either way.
Penelope: No. Not either way. Only wings.
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livsoulsecrets · 4 months ago
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*Jason shows up to patrol with a broken wrist*
Jason: Do you want to know how I actually broke my wrist?
Tim: yes?
Jason: I was hula hooping. Dick and I attend a class both for fitness and for fun.
Tim: Oh my God.
Jason: I’ve mastered all the moves. *shows pics*
Tim: Why are you telling me this?
Jason: Because no one will ever believe you.
Tim: You sick son of a bitch!
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stargirlexpressss · 2 months ago
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Another b99 AU meme, cause you guys liked the idea.
i’m sort of in an art slump cause i hate everything I make so i’m forcing myself to post this.
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harringroveera · 7 months ago
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Steve tries to get Billy on good terms with the kids
Keyword: he tries
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ijustgotherebro · 8 months ago
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Coach: nice work
Shakes: thanks dad
*silence*
Shakes: why is everyone staring at me?
Cool joe: you just called coach dad you said thanks dad
Shakes: what no i didn't i said thanks man
Coach: do you see me as a father figure shakes?
Shakes: no if anything i see you as a bother figure cause your always bothering me
Dancing rasta: eh show your father some respect
Shakes: i didn't call him dad
Coach: no no no shakes i take it as a compliment
Klaus: it's not a big deal remember when i called that reporter mom once?
Shakes: guys jump on that
El matador: thats old news, but you calling coach daddy
Shakes: hey daddy is not on the table here
Skarra: you did call him dad dude
Shakes: you shut up you've done nothing but lie since you got here
Skarra: alright i was lying about my team leaving me behind so i could get on your bus and sneak itching powder into all your shoes, but the dad thing that happened
Shakes: aha! He admitted it all part of my crazy devious plan
Coach: i believe you
Shakes: thank you
Coach: son you wanna talk about it later over a game of catch
Shakes: *sighs* i'd like that
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veryberryjelly · 9 months ago
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hey girl!!! I think ur still writing for jake from b99 (hopefully) so i was wondering if i could request him with a reader who's on her period and she's working, jake brings her home and comforts her (cause her cramps are rlly bad) <3
jake peralta x fem!reader
cw : reader is described as female, reader has truly bad cramps
𝐍𝐀𝐕𝐈𝐆𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍
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as a woman, one of the necessities of life was making sure you could function during your period.
if you didn't have a way to cope, it was hard, or almost impossible to do day to day tasks such as going to work.
and you had your emergency kit in your desk drawer. heating pad, tampons, spare underwear, pads and some pills your doctor had prescribed to you when you explained how bad your cramps could get.
and while you would usually replenish your kit a few days before your period started, you hadn't expected the wave of cramps that overtook you as you sat at your desk.
"shit-" you muttered under your breath when you felt the first one.
you were quick to open your drawer and look for the familiar yellow bottle, only to find it empty.
your stomach dropped and another cramp rolled through your abdomen.
you couldn't do much about it now, only put on a heating pad, change your underwear and put on a pad.
so that's exactly what you did. you grabbed your necessary supplies and headed towards the bathroom, making an extra effort to walk straight instead of hunched over.
you felt a pair of eyes on you briefly but just ignored it, knowing your priority at the moment.
when you returned to your desk, heating pad in place over your abdomen, you felt a tiny bit better, but the cramps were still coming fierce and fast.
it must've been the crease in your brow that alerted jake of your discomfort because after a few moments you saw a figure sit down at the side of your desk.
you picked your eyes up to find his familiar brown eyes. a soft smile settled briefly on your lips.
" what's up ?" you questioned, dropping your pen down on your desk quietly as to not aggravate the headache you could feel forming.
" you doing okay ?" he questioned, his voice quiet and comforting.
you should've known jake would notice you acting off. he knew you too well not to notice.
" yeah, i'm fine-" you paused momentarily when you felt a stabbing pain in your lower back. " just cramps "
early on in your relationship jake had found out just how bad your cramps could be. after you had to cancel a date last minute saying you were unwell and he showed up to your apartment with takeout. you had just been honest with him and told him you got really bad cramps.
he wasn't rude or grossed out, he just asked how he could help and you ended the night curled on your couch with his arm draped over your stomach, his palm splayed out under your t-shirt on your abdomen.
since that night he had always been there when you needed him to be.
" v'you taken anything ?" he questioned, his voice still slightly hushed.
" haven't replenished my prescription "
a small hiss came from his lips as he took in the repercussions of you not having the thing that made these few days more bearable for you.
" d'you want me to go and refill it for you ?" his suggestion made your heart melt and you reached your hand over to squeeze his hand lightly.
" it's okay, i can wait a couple hours. can we go by the pharmacy on the way home, though ?" you asked to which he nodded immediately.
he gave your hand a small squeeze, giving you a comforting smile before he departed back to his own desk.
you thought you could wait until the end of the work day, but your cramps only worsened over the next hour.
you couldn't focus on your case reports over the stabbing pain through your body.
" c'mon i'm taking you home "
you lifted your head to find jake stood by your desk, his jacket on and his bag over his shoulder.
" jake, you don't have to do this. i'm fine, and we've both got st-"
" would you just let me do this for you? i talked to holt and he's giving you the afternoon off and i'm taking you home. " the way he said it left almost no room for discussion. he was taking you home and that was the end of it.
you didn't debate with him, just pulled your jacket over your shoulders and picked up your bag.
his hand slipped easily into yours as the two of you walked out of the precinct and down towards the parking lot.
the drive back to your apartment wasn't a long one, it felt a lot better after jake hopped out at the pharmacy and returned to the car with your prescription in his hand along with a bottle of water.
when you arrived home, jake told you to go and shower, change and get settled on the couch while he made some tea.
you were quick to go into your bedroom, grab one of jake's t-shirts and a pair of long pyjama pants and get take them into the bathroom.
your shower was quick but definitely made you feel a bit better. when you stepped out you changed into the clothes you had gotten out and walked out into the living room.
you found jake sat on the couch on his phone, a mug of tea on the coffee table beside a hot water bottle and one of your cosiest blankets on the couch.
nothing was said as you sat down and leant into jake's frame, his arms wrapping around you swiftly. he simply offered you the remote and made minimal comments when you put on a film you both enjoyed.
though as much as you enjoyed it, your head went limp against jake's chest within the first half an hour.
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moonyswarmsweaters · 4 months ago
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Regulus: Do you wanna know how I actually hurt my wrist?
Barty: Yes
Regulus: I was hula-hooping. James and I attend a class for fitness and for fun
Barty: Oh my god
Regulus: I've mastered all the moves. The pizza toss, the tornado, the scorpion, the oopsie doodle
Barty: Why are you telling me all this?
Regulus: Because no one will ever believe you
Barty: You sick son of a bitch.
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daddiesdrarryy · 1 year ago
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Regulus: James is just the worst. He thinks he’s so smart and so attractive. He makes me feel good about the world and my place in it.
Evan: Barty, he’s doing it again!
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thebat-musicman · 4 months ago
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Bruce: Tim, keep an eye on Jason today. He’s going to say the wrong thing and get punched.
Tim: Sure, I’d love to see Jason get punched.
Bruce: Try again.
Tim, sighing: I will stop Jason from getting punched.
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mjbythebay · 7 months ago
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Damian: did you get my report on the Finley murders
Dick: uh yeah, I looked it over nice work
Damian: thanks dad
Everyone in the cave:
Damian: why is everyone staring at me
Tim: you called Dick dad
Tim: you said 'thanks dad'
Damian: no I didn't. If anything I said thanks man
Dick: do you see me as a father figure Damian?
Damian: no! If anything I see you as a bother figure because you're always bothering me!
Jason: hey! Show your father some respect!
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