#JLA

[rokonrrc2]

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why do i imagine the batfam finally meeting the league and then one of them going 'how the fuck do you have so many kids?' and little shit Jason goes 'well, when two people love each other very much...' and because Bruce doesn't wanna listen to this, he tiredly reminds Jason: 'you're adopted' which naturally means that Jason is going to dramatically pretend that this is the first time he's heard that and how could Bruce keep this from him, much to the horror of the league and the exasperation of Bruce

[olailamajnoon]

Bruce enters the conference room on the Watchtower. He is wearing a baby carrier with a baby inside it.

There is a hoo-ha.

"Why is there a baby," whispers Flash to Superman.

Clark shrugs. "It's probably one of the Robins."

"What?" says Barry tightly. "No, none of them are that age!"

"Jesus Bar, it's like you've never heard of de-aging beams."

"I'm not feeling good about the fact that you're taking this so lightly." Barry scratches at his five o' clock shadow. "If it is a Robin, it's very weird. But it's more weird if it's not."

"Maybe it's a Batgirl," suggests Diana, leaning in. "Cass or...or Steph. The purple one."

"That fits the purple diaper," says Barry reflectively.

"Barry stop hyperfixating on this," Clark says. "Let it go."

The baby is crying a little, sucking on its thumb. Batman gives it a chew toy as he continues working, and then produces a bottle out from under his cape, and holding the baby's head at a careful angle, begins to feed it.

"Batman..." Flash says, miserably curious. "Why do you have a baby?" He points at it, as if to make clear what baby he is talking about.

Bruce looks up, his brow furrowed. "Newly orphaned. Mother threw her from the spire of a church tower in Scarecrow-fear-toxin-induced hallucinations. Then she threw herself. I could only save one."

Barry looks like the dictionary illustration for the word 'flabbergasted'.

"Oh," is all he says. "Oh. Okay."

"I've found her a good home. She'll leave in a few hours." Bruce looks down, and then mutters to himself, "I just wanted to hold her".

Superman pretends he doesn't have super-hearing.

[dailydccomics]

foiled again, Eobard The Flash #175

[phantomthief001]

Going through my screenshots. I know this is a one-off gag nobody thought about very hard but I’m so fascinated by the implications of this.

The ways reality changed in this story were somewhat dependent on things people believed (or used to believe). For this instance my first thought was that the belief in question was probably something like:

“The Riddler’s riddles are unsolvable!”

but…then that doesnt actually explain what happened in that last panel, so maybe the belief was actually:

“The Riddler just gets all his riddles out of prewritten riddle books!”

but…that doesn’t explain what happened in the previous two panels.

It could’ve been both beliefs at once, but how did Batman ever figure that out? They’re on a giant stack of explosives! If neither he nor the Riddler himself could figure out the riddles and a timer connected to a bunch of C4 was ticking down, surely Bruce wouldn’t waste time to flip through a stack of riddle books (which are usually targeted at kids, I remind you), right? Even on a hunch that’s an insane last resort, it makes no sense.

And did Batman have all those books on hand (why???) or did he have to go buy all those and come back?? In the batsuit???? And again, C4, Batman, Riddler; the riddle is probably connected to defusing the bombs. Did Batman leave the bomb situation to go get a bunch of riddle books and come back??? Why are they on the C4 anyway? If the Riddler wants to blow something up he’s smart enough not to be standing on top of it. Did Bruce drag him here?? Did Ed come himself when he realized he couldn’t solve the riddles either???

So, so many questions.

[miaowmelodie]

"How to give the League a heart attack 101"

More than half the League is betting at any time that they know when it's actually Batman under the mask, or someone else. Unfortunately, they were wrong when:

Dick was doing a phenomenal job of playing Bruce (didn't give himself away even once by smiling), because he fell asleep

Batman stubbed his toe against a table and swore like a sailor which led to cash exchanging hands as several people figured it was Jason, but Bruce had recently switched out of Matches Malone to dress up as Bats and hadn't shaken the Mindset yet

Batman's suit sat weirdly empty at the table and Oliver, annoyed, tried to tell Damian that this was too serious a meeting for Bruce to delegate, but it was Batman, hit with a de-ageing spell and too stubborn to sit out

After sustaining pretty serious injuries, Batman was whiteknuckling the table, in an awful mood, and nobody thought anything of it. Barry offered to help Bruce up (if the pain was keeping him trapped, trying not to insult Batman too much), and Jason tightly replied that if he moved the suit was going to tear.

Clark and Bruce had a bet for how long they could replace Bruce with a mannequin without anyone noticing, and because Clark kept looking over at "Bruce" and giggling (pretty par for the course for them), nobody noticed for five hours.

[kitzatara]

Had a work thought and realised "hey, there's a guy for this!"

Have either of the Zatara's ever gotten a lantern ring and then recited the oath backwards? If so, what happened?

Well, not exactly but kinda!

There are three instances in comics and one from a video game.

The first time was in Green Lantern 42, it was one of Zatanna’s earliest appearances. During this adventure Zatanna casts a spell on Hal from across the globe. He then recites his green lantern oath in her style of backwards. It was meant as a way to both protect him and bring him to her aid. When this happened, he gained immunity to his at the time weakness to yellow. It is a pretty fun read and I recommend it.

A few decades later Zatanna crossed paths with Kyle Rayner. In this adventure their powers end up somewhat swapped, with Kyle having to speak backwards to use his ring and Zatanna having to will her magic to work. Truth be told Zee doesn’t get to do as much this time around. But it was at least kinda funny. (Green Lantern 80 Page Giant #2 if you’re curious)

Zatanna also swapped bodies with Star Sapphire in one of her first stories as a new member of the JLA. (# 167) While body swapped they are both able to use the other’s powers. Zatanna worked the star sapphire and star sapphire cast backwards spells. It’s maybe not exactly what you were looking for but it is adjacent.

And lastly she was given the powers of a star sapphire in the DCUO blackest night event. Kinda ironic considering the body swap incident. And if Zee were to ever be part of a corp, I think the Star Sapphire one is the more likely (there are good arguments for red, blue, and green as well). But it’s a video game so what happened in the game isn’t canon to the main universe, but she did look pretty in pink.

So that’s all the times I can think of off the top of my head of Zatanna coming into contact with lantern powers, or power oaths being reversed or them using backwards spells.

Thanks for asking!

[dc-comics-enjoyer]

In a context where Batman is known and seen through his public League appearances, the misogynistic, homophobic, "alpha male" guys start using his image to illustrate their discourse of going to the gym, and seeking submissive women. They admire and misinterpret his traits as endorsements of their toxic masculinity. Online, they share images of Batman with stuff like "Be the Alpha, Be the Batman". They even use the word Batmen as a synonym to Alpha Male. "Real Batmen don't show weakness".

When Bruce becomes aware of this, he hates it. He despises them for all their messed up views, knowing they completely misunderstand his principles. Batman's true strength lies in his commitment to justice, empathy, and respect for all individuals, values that are fundamentally opposed to the toxic masculinity they promote. Bruce is determined to distance his image from their rhetoric, seeing them as nothing more than sexist and homophobic idiots.

So he decides to be a tiny tiny bit more Brucie when they appear in public. Not in form, but in substance :

When he's asked a question, he tries to go "I have no clue, I'd have to ask Black Canary.", or "I'm not sure, I'd have to see what Wonder Woman thinks about that", or "This time, we really couldn't have done anything, anything at all, without Supergirl."

Also, Batman becomes more visibly affectionate with Superman. During public appearances, if he senses a camera on them, he makes sure to be seen clinging to Superman. He would rather face dating rumors every day than be associated with those idiotic discourses.

(It's also a good premise for a superbat fake-dating fic !!)

[trianglegoddess]

I'm Still Standing

The League felt like they had a strong sense of Phantom’s power. After all, they wouldn’t have asked him to join the team, otherwise. He’s strong, he can fly, and due to his supernatural nature, he’s amazing on recon and stealth missions. He’s also incredibly reliable, and smarter than most people give him credit for. He’s a natural hero, a more snarky Captain Marvel, some news outlets have been saying. Always saving people with just the right words to say, with a humble smile on his face. 

Phantom, with all of his power, seemed untouchable in every definition of the word. 

And then they got invaded by Darkseid. 

It wasn’t the first time Darkseid had invaded Earth, but it was the first time bringing armies so large, the first time he’s attacked all over the world to spread the League thin. It is single handedly the worst alien invasion Earth has ever had. 

Batman, bleeding out on the sidewalk, Wonder Woman knocked unconscious and restrained by a nearly egregious amount of henchmen, Superman, weak from the kryptonite Darkseid had shot him with. Thankfully it had missed all the important bits, but with that bullet inside of him, Superman was also down for the count, as well as dozens of other League members. 

If it hadn’t been for Phantom, they would have lost. 

Phantom, who’s never been seen without a smile on his face until now. Phantom, who’s never had so much as a scratch on him, until now. Phantom, who has only ever been known to be kind and compassionate, even to his villains, until now. 

Usually there’s this sort of warm, comforting feeling that radiates from Phantom. It feels like a nice breeze on a warm summer’s day, a nice cup of hot cocoa, your favorite song. It’s a feeling of safety, as if everything will be alright just because he’s there. 

Here, though, something else, something much stronger, is radiating from him. It practically rolls off of him in huge waves, making those conscious around him more aggravated, more on edge.

Phantom pulls himself off of the ground. His suit is torn, and his green blood splattered on himself and the ground. He spits a glob of it out, along with a tooth. 

“Still, you stand,” Darkseid says, as if tired. “Do you not tire in the face of your own demise?”

“As long as I’m still standing, you won’t ever win,” Phantom says. His voice is low and threatening, reverberating eerily off of the broken infrastructure that surrounds them. It sends a chill down everybody’s spines, though if Darkseid is affected, he doesn’t show it. 

“Your comrades have fallen, your militaries have failed, and you have no other help arriving. Pray tell how one singular human will be able to take me down!” 

Phantom doesn’t answer right away. Instead, he walks forward so that his friends are behind him, and braces himself. Darkseid, unable to contain his own hubris, lets Phantom come closer. 

Phantom takes in a deep breath, as if he’s about to speak.  

Instead he wails. 

Any remaining glass shatters, raining down upon them as green sound waves push back the offending forces. 

And it’s loud, of course. The ears of Darkseid’s minions are bleeding, and many of them are either dying because it’s too much for them to bear, or they’re killing themselves to give themselves some modicum of relief. But it’s also more than that, more than noise. 

It’s mourning. 

The first feeling that overwhelms everyone is anger. Phantom’s anger at Darkseid, at the destruction, at the fact that he just can’t catch a fucking break and it’s not fair. The second, is the sadness. It weighs down upon their shoulders, suffocating them like smog. It invades every part of their being-their lungs, their joints, their very hearts-and it presses and presses and presses until there’s very nearly nothing left. 

Phantom still pushes on. He is nothing if not persistent, driven to fight, driven to protect his people, his team, his friends, his family. No mortal being could ever hope to have a lung capacity like this, but Phantom is no normal mortal, and Darkseid is finally starting to come to terms with that. 

The last wave of overwhelming emotion is more of an idea than it is an actual feeling. It’s not a threat, per se, but a promise. A promise to do everything in his power to destroy Darkseid and his forces permanently and with prejudice. A promise that no matter how hard Darkseid fights, he will not win. 

A promise that, if knocked down, Phantom will stand back up, and he will not lose. 

Eventually, after what feels like eternity, the wail dies down. There isn’t a single member of Darkseid’s army that’s still on their feet or in the air. Phantom collapses down to one knee, and bright, white rings flicker around his person for just a moment, before he wills them away and stands back up. 

It’s less walking towards Darkseid, and more stalking. They are not on equal footing. Phantom is the predator in every sense of the word, his anger and grief still radiating off of his body in ways that Darkseid is unable to comprehend. 

“Do you yield?” Phantom asks. His eyes are blazing green, burning into Darkseid’s very soul. It is a sort of animalistic, primal instinct deep within him that tells him, run, run as fast as you can. Darkseid’s hubris, however, remains unmatched. 

Even as he stares Death in the eye. 

“I do not,” Darkseid says. He tries to get to his feet, but his body won’t listen, still weighed down by the effects of Phantom’s wail. 

“Then as Phantom, King of the Dead, I hereby condemn you for the rest of your afterlife.”

“Don’t count your eggs yet, boy,” Darkseid spits. “I’m still alive.”

“No,” Phantom says, in a tone adjacent to someone who’s giving their condolences, “You’re not.”

Phantom gestures beside them, and Darkseid spares a glance and sees…Himself. 

His corpse is splayed on the ground, blood spurting out of his ears, nose, and eyes. He stares lifelessly up at the sky. The blood is still leaking down the sides of his face. 

“You’re dead now, Darkseid, and therefore under my jurisdiction. Due to your extensive list of crimes you will not receive a hearing, just your eternal damnation for the sins you’ve committed.”

Phantom waves his hand, and green chains and manacles appear on Darkseid’s wrists and ankles before he’s dusted out of existence, sent to his eternal punishment in another dimension. 

As soon as he’s gone, Phantom collapses to his knees. 

He’s not sure how long he’s there, sitting in the blood of those he’s killed, before Wonder Woman comes over. She’s covered in gashes and bruises and blood that isn’t hers, but she still stands tall and proud. A battle won is a reason for celebration, after all. 

He glances behind her, sees Superman taking Batman into his arms and flying off. 

Diana doesn’t ask him questions about how he’s feeling. A victory is a victory, sure, but not without its price. 

Instead, she holds out her hand. Danny grasps it, and allows her to help him to his feet. 

“As long as you can stand, you can win,” Diana says. “I think I’ll have to use that for my next big speech.”

“By all means,” Phantom tells her. “Just be sure to credit me.”

“Deal.”

[lurkinglurkerwholurks]

Alt text:

Lurker: But then think about imperceptibly aging Clark and very mortal Bruce

Jay: Oh noooooo

You cannot do this to me on Shabbat

This is a hate crime

Lurker: JLA tradition. “Be safe. But if you see Bruce—“

Jay: NOOOOOOOOO

Lurker: Clark losing person after person and each that is able to smiling or patting his arm and saying “I’ll tell the old bat/Bruce hello for you.”

Jay: I WILL FIND YOU

I’m thinking how at some point Elrond, who definitely saw many Men die during his (immortal) life must have started saying something like “If you meet my brother, give him my love” to them on their deathbeds. And I think it became something of a tradition, something he was actually expected to say and maybe eventually when you had the Rangers of the North leaving Rivendell on some dangerous errand, they would add “I hope we meet again but if we don’t - I’ll be sure to tell Elros…” to their farewells and no one would be sure if that was more heartbreaking or heartwarming

[lovesick-joey]

happy holidays!!

[allthegothihopgirls]

"justice league doesn't know batman has kids" and by some freak incident, they end up meeting them all at once, after never having one single sneaking suspicion of batman being a family guy.

you've got every batkid + justice league member in the same room, and bruce tries for a total of 6 seconds to diffuse the situation before giving up.

there's bats left right and centre making completely false claims about how their family came to be, just to stir shit. also purposely trying to ruin batman's 'stoic and mean' reputation as best as they can.

jason and steph are telling everyone that they're all bio kids, and bruce does try and correct that one (some of those kids don't even belong to him in a non-bio way!!) but not before tim pipes up and goes 'well actually it depends what you count as biological, he grew me in a lab'.

dick's taking full advantage of the JL's perception of batman being oh so impressionable in the moment, and is telling stories of his childhood + batman raising his younger siblings, making him out to be the softest guy to ever exist (completely on purpose). cass is nodding along next to him, and making sure whenever she adds a comment that she uses the word 'dad' instead of batman just for the extra domestic flare.

babs and jason are explaining how they all consider themselves bats, in a way that would make anyone believe that they're in a cult. bruce is standing amidst it all, an immovable object, with dick's arm on his shoulder, and damian huddled into his side (ALL for dramatic flare. they need the JL to know that he's. just a guy with kids).

[violent138]

On the role of Alfred, as understood by the JLA:

Robin!Dick: "It's pretty much Alfie that calls all the shots, sets my bed time and Batman's."

----

Red Hood: "It's like a Charlie's angels situation."

----

Red Robin, before going against League orders: "The boss? You mean like, Alfred? No I haven't asked him yet."

----

Spoiler: "You really want to be late for the dinner? Alfred won't be happy."

Bruce: *closes computer* "We'll finish this up some other time."

JLA: *confused*

----

Clark, after Bruce gets severely injured: "Oh God, Alfred’s going to kill me."

Hal: "Relax, what's he even going to do? You're bullet proof."

Clark, groaning and sitting down, head in hands: "That's not going to stop him."

Oliver: "Say the word, and I'll get you on an island not found on any map."

Hal: ???

[cjsmalley]

An Explanation:

Bill blinked rapidly, still in shock.

Fleur didn’t look too surprised.

“You knew,” Harry accused.

“Maman and Papa,” Fleur spoke quietly, “they informed me that we would host someone from a powerful family. They did not say how powerful, or what power, but they impressed upon Gabrielle and myself that our new foster-siblings were important.”

“I told your parents myself,” Danny explained, shifting back to human, “and I know Harry told Madam Maxime when we set up for the Fenton-Chengs’ education.”

“Bill, you alright?” Harry questioned the Weasley.

Bill shook his head to clear it and nodded, “Yeah, so you’re a Prince—”

“Only technically. Uncle Danny is just that, Uncle Danny. He’s claimed my mum as his cousin—that’s the cover story on why me and Nev disappeared for a year. We went to Mum’s cousin in America, and his muggle wife. Uncle Danny’s labelled himself a squib in their papers for this world.”

“And that Sam kid your family fostered, that Paige girl?”

“Also my wards,” Danny explained smoothly, “my children by soul-selling and legal adoption. They’re both magical and we already had an in at Hogwarts. So, the Potters agreed to foster them during the school year. Story is we needed someone with more knowledge of magic than a squib living muggle and we wanted them near family. Lily did it as a returned favor for taking Harry and Neville during the Voldemort War. They did technically qualify for Salem and Iivermorny, as well as a few other American schools, like the one in Illinois.”

“But you had family at Hogwarts,” Fleur nodded, “why Beauxbatons for…?”

“Mainly? For the language,” Harry explained, “we looked into a lot of Francophone schools for them. Hogwarts was an option, of course; Dumbledore already was prepping for them just in case. But, although their English was already fluent, we thought that they might learn better in French and…” Harry looked distinctly uncomfortable, “the Delacours owed us, Fleur. For saving Gabrielle’s life. It was a shared life-debt between me, Nev, and Gabrielle. Your parents were delighted to help even without the debt, but we already had an in in magical France as well…”

Fleur nodded, “If I allow you to father my children, Harry, is there anything we need to know? About this…soul situation?”

“Well,” Harry exhaled, “I’m—there’s this class of beings we call Liminal—it means someone exposed to a lot, and I do mean a lot, of ecto-energy, or death-energy, basically. It causes…mutations…nothing bad!” Harry assured when Fleur gasped, before admitting, “yet. The town I spent a year in is ground zero for a sorta…explosion of this special energy…a rift…a portal was ripped open nearly in the center of it. For years now, everyone living there, born there, is considered Liminal. Not ghostly, not even halfas but more ghostly than the average human. They were all muggles, guys…Me and Nev are the first wizards to become Liminal…”

“What about those other kids?” Bill asked intently, “Sam and Paige…”

“They’re not completely human,” Danny admitted, “even without being Liminal. Sam’s part demon, a tiny, tiny part. Something happened to him before we took custody—but he’s not evil—Paige is half…well, in laypeople’s terms, angel. Mother was a witch, father was her guardian angel colleague.”

“Do you have a mutation, Harry?” Fleur asked gently, “Because you are Liminal?”

Harry beamed, nodding, “But because we’re already empowered—not muggles or squibs—our Liminality just boosts our inborn powers. Same with my half-demon and Force-Sensitive cousins. The Liminality heightens whatever powers a person already possesses.”

“So our child…?”

“Would likely be extremely powerful, and not just because she has powerful genetic sources,” Harry nodded, “might be more in touch with her Veela side and abilities. And that’s without any contact with ecto-energy herself, though every Liminal gives off a tiny…aura of the stuff. We do know Liminality can be passed down like hair or eye color; gets into the very DNA of any living thing.”

Fleur and Bill nodded, excused themselves, and had a quiet but quick debate in another room before returning.

“We still wish for you to father our child, Harry,” Fleur smiled softly.

Harry nodded, smiling back, “Alright.”

Wished Away 9

Tylers meet Phantoms:

“Christ, Mum,” Rose said as she took in how Jackie, Pete, and Tony were dressed, “we’re just meetin’—”

“Royalty!” Jackie squeaked. They were all done up like they were meeting the Queen at Buckingham Palace itself!

“Honestly, Mum, they don’t care,” Rose rolled her eyes, grabbing her mother’s wrist and tugging her through the console room and to the wardrobe room, “I told ya ta dress casually. Let’s just hope the Ol’ Girl has clothes fer ya.”

It took about an hour to get everyone redressed, in things much more casual but still nice, before Rose led them back to the console room.

Jackie was clearly anxious, “Are ya—”

“’m sure, Mum. Danny an’ Sam don’t do formal unless they have ta. Unless you’re an annoying subject or someone threatenin’ war, ya don’t even have ta call ‘em by their titles. They’re just Danny an’ Sam ta family.”

“Lookie what I found,” Jenny bounded from the innards of the TARDIS, holding a tiny bike helmet.

She went to her toddler uncle and put it on him, making sure it fit right, “Landings in the Realms are worse than normal ones. The TARDIS does Her best but the Realms give her…nausea? A headache? She just doesn’t do good.”

“Oh, goody,” Jackie said lowly, hugging a strut for dear life already.

“Let me protect Anthony,” Bad Wolf came out, holding out her arms; without hesitation, Pete handed his son over.

Bad Wolf settled Tony in her arms, against her chest and shoulder, and then spread her feet and crouched slightly, clearly bracing for impact; she stayed steady even as the TARDIS began Her flight.

Everyone else was thrown about the console room, the Doctor and Jenny barely holding on to work the console, but Bad Wolf and Tony did not move an inch.

The landing was rough, just as Jenny said it would be, throwing even the Time Lords to the grated floor before the TARDIS stopped quaking.

Jenny recovered first and stood up, rubbing her shoulder, to peek out the doors, “We’re in the Palace. Uncle Danny and Aunt Sam are waiting…”

Slowly, everyone picked themselves up and Rose reemerged, straightening with some popping from her knees.

Jenny led the procession out, racing to hug a man and a woman, “Uncle Danny, Aunt Sam! How’re you?”

Danny and Sam chuckled and hugged her as one, “Good, doing good. You?”

“Perfect!”

She let go of them to drag Jackie, who was hesitant, forward, “This’s my Gran, Jackie. Mum’s side, duh. Completely human. He’s my step-granddad, Pete, and Mum’s holding my uncle, Tony.”

“Yer Majesties,” Jackie tried to curtsy even though she was in trousers, “an honor ta—”

“Oh, enough,” Sam chuckled, “didn’t they tell you? We don’t do formalities with family.”

“Family?” Jackie’s eyes were wide, “I know Rose said—but—”

“We count Clockwork as family,” Danny explained, “and he’s claimed the Doctor as family. The Doctor and Jenny. Rose’s basically married in by this point. Common-law, you understand. That makes her family our family. Welcome to the Palace, your home in the Infinite Realms.”

“My god,” Pete muttered, somewhat disbelieving.

“Not a god, not yet anyways,” Danny winked.

“Where’s Dani?” Jenny burst out, “Is she still in school?”

Sam grinned, “With Anakin, in the nursery. We let her stay home today.”

“Oh, Gran! Can I introduce Tony to Anakin? Please!” Jenny nearly begged.

“Anakin’s our youngest,” Danny explained kindly, “around Tony’s age, actually. We also have a nanny looking after them, Nanny Clara. He’d be perfectly safe.”

“Well…” Jackie looked to her husband, who nodded, “if you’re sure.”

Jenny cheered and took Tony from Rose, dashing off with him deeper into the Palace.

“Jenny knows the Palace as well as anyone,” Sam assured, “and if she gets lost, she can flag down a servant for help. She’s heading directly for the nursery. It’s the most defensible part of the Palace.

Danny stood up, helping Sam, “C’mon, we can talk over food; stay close, Tylers. Doctor?”

“Rose and I can bring up the rear,” the Doctor agreed, taking Rose’s hand as they began walking.

The Palace was a gothic masterpiece, in a very literal sense, though even Sam had wearied of all the gloom and had sought artists and artwork to fill the halls, soft, plush carpets and tapestries to keep the warmth, glassworks to fill the once barred windows. Statues and busts dotted the hallways, some classical, some avant garde

Masters had given their masterpieces, their magnum opuses; they were paid handsomely of course, in either coin or material.

Oils, watercolors, acrylics, textiles, glass, all created for Her Majesty the Ghost Queen. For His Majesty the Ghost King.

It wasn’t yet a riot of color, nor would it ever be, but it was more alive.

Jackie gasped and the group stopped, turning as one to see what had captured her attention.

“When they said the family was huge…”

Ah, it was the most recent family portrait; all the children were gathered around Danny and Sam, all in formal wear.

“We…sometimes people sell the souls of children to me,” Danny started, causing her and Pete to whip around to him in horror, “I know, it’s horrible, isn’t it? But anyways, we adopt the kids. Only Dani—Danielle—isn’t adopted.”

He pointed out each child and gave their backstory.

“Good Lord, you were young!” Pete said at Damian’s story.

“Old enough to be king,” Danny shrugged helplessly, “it…it wasn’t easy, we had help, so much help, and we made mistakes…”

“All parents do,” Jackie told him softly.

“So we’ve been told,” Sam smiled just as softly, “and we’ve learned and made new ones with each kid.”

Danny coughed and continued to point out kids and tell stories, until all had been covered and then they moved on.

As they neared the dining room, Danielle and Jenny joined them with each holding a toddler.

“Oh my,” Jackie said, taking in the Anakin Skywalker; she knew who he grew up to be, or would have if he had not been adopted.

“We’re hungry, Dad,” Danielle said.

Danny waved them into the dining room where the smaller table was already set for a meal; there were two chairs with booster seats and Jenny and Danielle put Tony and Anakin in them before sitting beside them and helping them get food.

The group chatted over the meal, Jackie and Pete slowly relaxing at how easy going the Royals were, and generally had good cheer.

After the meal was done, Jenny asked, “Do we put their photo up on the family wall now? I know you’ve got me, Dad, and Mum…”

Danny chuckled, “We can, if they’re okay with it.”

“Family wall?” Pete questioned.

“We keep walls of pictures of the extended family,” Sam explained easily, “you know, like Rose, the Doctor, and Jenny. Harry’s and Neville’s parents. Damian’s paternal birth-family. The Royal Portrait is just the immediate royal family. The walls are for everyone and everything else.”

Danny and Sam led the group out of the dining room and down another hallway; the walls were plastered with photographs. Some were professional, most were candid and amateur.

A common camera sat on a small round table; a high-end camera but nothing too expensive or professional.

Danny picked it up, saying, “If Jackie, Pete, and Tony don’t mind—”

Jackie decided it would be a family photograph and dragged the Doctor in; Rose and Jenny came without complaint.

Danny took a set of pictures.

After that was done, it was decided it was time for the Tylers to leave, taking pity on the still disgruntled TARDIS.

They were, however, invited to the next family gathering.

[cup1d54rr0w]

me and bro

[olailamajnoon]

Selina walked onto the Watchtower along with Bruce. Zatanna "accidentally" bumped into the two. She looked up at Selina and blinked. "Oh, you're Bruce's wife!"

Selina appeared slightly taken aback, one eyebrow unfurling. "...no."

Zatanna went on cheerily, winking at Bruce with malicious intent. "Well, he takes every opportunity to call you his wife. He's like...I'm gonna marry her anyway, so might as well call her that."

Selina gave Bruce the side-eye. "Yeah, that definitely sounds like him." Her voice was dry.

"If you ever decide to marry this lummox," went on Zatanna, "remember to ask me for my list of Bruce's sixteen greatest flaws."

Selina grinned. "Thanks, but I think I know them."

"No," said Zatanna seriously, chewing her magic gum. "You only know the first nine." Zatanna sat down at the monitor console and hung upside down on the chair. "He eats with his mouth open sometimes. And he can't handle raw shrimp. It gives him...diarrhea."

Selina snorted. "How do you know this." She couldn't hide her amusement.

"We were trapped on an ocean planet for a week, and all we had to eat was raw fish. Bruce had...severe digestive problems. Clark had to cook the meat with his eyeballs." Zatanna was seemingly relishing telling the story, as much as Bruce gave her the death-glare.

"Well, I won't take him out for sushi anytime then," said Selina.

"Or...you could," said Zatanna, waggling her eyebrows. "Take him someplace without a bathroom, and watch him. He can't say no to a challenge, his ego will get in the way."

Bruce's glare at Zatanna could have melted steel as she slurped her Slurpie. Selina was trying and failing to control hiccupy laughter. "That sounds like an...idea."

Zatanna grinned from ear to ear. "You know, I like you, Catwoman. Maybe we will make good friends."

Selina hooked her right arm through Bruce's. "I'm un-uninviting you to our wedding."

Zatanna sat up. "Wait! I was...uninvited?"

"You turned Bruce's chair into mist and he sat on it and fell on his ass." Selina giggled childishly. It sounded like a kitten gurgling.

"Selina..." Bruce warned.

"...so he got upset," Selina finished.

Zatanna was smirking. "Yeah, that's always funny."

"I'm glad you two ladies are bonding," said Bruce, unamused. "But if you will excuse me, I need to work."

Selina blew him a kiss as he disentangled himself and walked away. Then she leaned closer to Zatanna. "Do you have any idea what he's like when he gets angry?"

Zatanna looked up through innocent eyes. "no...?"

"The sex," said Selina, "is so great. He gets rough, just the way I like it." She breathed in. "Any ideas how to make him just mad enough to get him to do that?"

Zatanna grinned. "Any ideas? I've got an entire encyclopedia! I've written the book on twirling Bruce round my pinkie." She flicked her hair. "What do you wanna know?"

Selina sat beside her, and propped her feet up on the console. "Let's start with everything."

[kartsie]

This just in: local reporter more famous for looking like celebrity friend than any of his stories from last decade