#so yeah not a crack au

[theshadowrealmitself]

Someone jokingly throwing Phantom’s hat into the ring during the next election and now he’s seriously competing against Vlad Masters to be Amity’s mayor

[fanaticalthings]

next thing you're gonna tell me is that the butts match 🙄

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[puppetmaster13u]

Mini Prompt

"It's me or him, Bruce!" Jason screamed, green covering his vision as he held a gun to the Joker's head.

"Pull the trigger."

"What?!"

Batman Bruce His Dad simply tilted his head, voice quiet, emotionless almost.

"I have decapitated that thing no less than three times for what he did to you. Pull the trigger."

[creative-clawmarks]

"You broke his leg with your teeth!"

"I could have done worse, and I probably should have!"

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

KO-FI

[turtleblogatlast]

Continuation of this! Next one is here

AU start here!

Leo doesn’t really care about injuries anymore, due to his whole “reset” thing he has going on.

His brothers are not of the same opinion, especially Donnie, who knows too well what having a weaker shell can do to you if you’re not careful.

[o3o-lapd-o3o]

(part ???? of this ongoing thread/universe/au?)

(buckle yourselves in this is a long one!) (will be two parts as my brain wouldn't stop coming up with more nonsense as per usual)

*not long after telemachus met his dad's enemy 'friend', the god of the seas poseidon, for the first time*

*poseidon has fled (gods don't flee they briskly walk away) left to go back to the sea*

*odysseus, penelope & telemachus are having dinner*

telemachus: *smiling while retelling the meeting to penelope* -and he was so nice! father is so lucky to have him as his friend-

odysseus: *slightly chokes on his food at poseidon still being referred to as his friend*

telemachus: *looks at odysseus* -father are you ok?

penelope: *who knows odysseus' real relationship with poseidon*

penelope: *hasn't had much entertainment in 20 years*

penelope: *wants to stir the pot some more* ignore your father my dear, please continue telling me all about his friend

odysseus: *looking at penelope*

odysseus: *under his breath* penelope why?

*dinner continues with poseidon being the subject much to odysseus' dismay*

telemachus: *enjoying the family dinner*

telemachus: *gasps*

odysseus & penelope: ???

telemachus: we should have a big family dinner! father you can invite lord poseidon! i'll invite athena!

telemachus: *happy with himself for thinking of such an idea*

odysseus: *doesn't want to shoot down his son's idea, but also DOES NOT WANT TO SPEND ANY MORE TIME WITH POSEIDON*

odysseus: *scrambling for an excuse* son, he's a god and surely is very busy an-

penelope: *with a devilish grin* -and i'm sure will make time for his friend! what a wonderful idea telemachus! i'll let the palace cooks know!

penelope: off you go dear husband~ go and let your friend know~

odysseus: it's evenin-

penelope: first thing tomorrow then!

odysseus: *sighs in resignment* yes my love

telemachus: great! i can't wait to tell athena-

*athena appearing out of nowhere*

athena: i heard my name and came.

odysseus: athena?!

telemachus: athena!!

penelope: oh lady athena!

athena: *smiling whilst looking at telemachus* what would you like to ask me telemachus?

telemachus: oh yeah! we're going to have a big family dinner! father just needs to invite his god friend-

athena: *confused as she's odysseus' god friend* but i-

odysseus: *panicked* wait-

telemachus: -lord poseidon!

athena: *wide-eyed in shock*

athena: *slow blinking* did you say odysseus' friend is p-po- my uncle?!

telemachus: *nods and smiles* yeah, i thought you knew!

odysseus: *wondering how he'll explain this whole situation to athena*

odysseus: *under his breath* well now she knows...

penelope: *laughs to herself*

(to be continued!)

(okay i know i said in the reply to the ask i'd post the dinner scene, but my brain wouldn't stop throwing stuff for me to add in the run up to dinner. so there WILL be the dinner scene, but that will be in another post... tomorrow? -depending on how my work day goes-)

[cheebuss]

TF2 but Warrior Cat.... also just Miss Pauling and Sniper (for now) bc i'm lazy

[gracebethartacc]

I woke up and was haunted by visions aka Mlp redesign/rewrite ideas yayyyy :3

[anonymouscheeses]

Guess who hyperfocused on a characyer they hate..... this guy.....!! For like. A day. Two weeks ago then i decided. Why not post it? So. Here's my sort of au where Zoe isnt a basic ass bitch! And it made it bareable to draw her. (I still purposely drew it assly)

Im never touching this au ever again. /j if you want more emo Zoe pop in a request <3 maybe ill make it into an actual au and do stuff with it. But maybe not lmao

(Its purposely ugly art i swear. Unelss my art degraded because of this. I can feel it omg 😭)

[casually-salad]

its getting colder each passing day... with mr cake sick and the power gone pinkie is trying to stay optimistic. in reality though her relation to her element of harmony is fading more and more by the hour. they dont even know whats going on in their home town.

(( also i forgot to draw on mrs cake's pattern in one image just ignore that, also text transcript is in image id! ))

[ratwars]

If the PM had somehow been the primary target of all of these plots instead of the ADA I firmly believe half of the situations could have been solved with Kajii. I understand he isn't popular but listen there is a reason he is who they pull out first with a hat trick when shit gets real.

[bleue-flora]

that au of cdream trying to make ctommy die to save him and make him and everyone love him souns really interesting :D. And im so sorry, i know it's supposed to be serious but when i image cdream doing that and reviving ctommy i imagine that scene of the incredibles with ctommy just saying to him "you didnt save me, you ruined my death >:("

[context — “huh there’s another AU idea: Dream tries to drive Tommy to suicide in Exile so he can resurrect him and become loved by Tommy and the server again… (I’m sure that wouldn’t backfire or anything…)”]

[razzle-zazzle]

1593 Words; this is literally just crack

AO3 ver

“Dad!” Cole stood up, phone in hand. “How’ve you been?”

He walked towards the doorway as Lou chatted on the other end of the call. Kai watched Cole go, then turned his focus back to the game. If he timed his next combo just right, he could finally get the edge he needed to beat Jay.

“Ha!” Kai executed the combo, grinning as Jay’s character took the hits. “I’ve got you now!”

“No you fucking don’t!” Jay riposted, “Not if I use my special move!” And indeed, while wearing a grin that Kai could only describe as pure evil, Jay broke Kai’s combo to unleash his character’s special attack.

“Wh—no fair!” Kai started mashing buttons frantically to try and regain the upper hand. “I had you! I was—”

“YOU’RE WHAT?” Cole’s voice smashed through the wall and Kai’s concentration in one fatal blow. As one, Kai and Jay turned to yell towards the wall that Cole was on the other side of for breaking their focus—

“WHAT DO YOU MEAN, YOU’RE REMARRYING?” It felt as though the whole monastery shook from the force of Cole’s yell. Now everyone was staring at the wall, jaws dropped. Cole’s dad? Remarrying?

Okay, they just had to hear this. With only a single shared glance the ninja crept towards the door as one, the video game long forgotten. One by one, they each poked their heads through the door, thankful that Cole had his back to it.

“Why the fuck haven’t I heard anything about this?” Cole demanded. His foot was tap-tap-tapping against the floor the way it did when he was agitated, and the hand not holding his phone was tangled into his hair. He twitched, as Lou said something sharp on the other end.

“No, dad,” Cole’s free hand moved to pinch the bridge of his nose as he turned, the ninja ducking behind the door frame before he could notice. “I’m not going to watch my language. Not when my dad’s remarrying and never even told me he was DATING in the first place!” Cole paced a short circle as his dad responded, his face pinched between annoyance and disbelief. Kai peeked around the door frame—only to have to duck back behind it when Cole’s pacing turned him towards the door.

Jay turned around to the sound of a floorboard creaking. Wu, undoubtedly disturbed from his meditation by Cole’s earlier shout, stood behind them all, stroking his beard contemplatively. After a moment, he shuffled over to stand to the other side of the door. “Don’t mind me.” He muttered, quietly enough that Cole didn’t hear. With that, they all turned their attention back to the half-of-a-conversation going on in the other room.

“Dad—” Cole had to pause to massage his temples. He loved his father, he really did, but that didn’t mean that his father still couldn’t utterly bewilder him. “Okay, fine, it was a whirlwind romance and you were ‘too caught up in the love’ to tell me.” He conceded, “But just because I can see you doing that does not mean you’re forgiven!”

Zane could have sworn the response from the other end was smug. He could barely pick up on the audio, let alone decipher it, but he could just feel the quick comeback that had Cole stiffening, stopping in his tracks.

“Wh—that’s different!” Cole insisted. “I go to other realms and stuff! I’m not always going to have cell service in the middle of the end of the world!” He put his free hand on his hip, leaning slightly as though Lou were right there in front of him. “What’s your excuse, huh?” Another pause, as Lou spoke on the other end, then—

Cole sighed. “Alright,” he caved, fondness creeping into the edges of his voice, “You’re forgiven. But!” He spun on his heel, “Don’t think I’m not gonna hold this over your head forever!” Some things just could not be let go. Like the Triple Tiger Sashay incident; Cole would never let his father live down the fact that he’d genuinely thought a seven year old could perform the most difficult dance move in all of Ninjago.

Kai locked eyes with Lloyd, wiggling his eyebrows to ask if this was some sort of elaborate prank. Lloyd shook his head, wide-eyed with just as much surprise as Kai was feeling. Kai turned to Wu, who raised an eyebrow in question. But the old man had that gleam in his eyes he got when a soap opera reached a particularly interesting twist, and was leaning towards the wall with clear interest in the conversation unfurling on the other side.

“So who is it?” Cole asked, back once again to the door. “Who am I gonna have to throw into the mud at the wedding?”

Nya had to bite back a snort, lest Cole discover everyone’s shameless eavesdropping. But she and everyone else were on tenterhooks, now—they had to know who it was. Who could Lou possibly have fallen so into love with?

Cole chuckled at his father’s response, tension starting to roll out of his shoulders. He opened his mouth, as if to retort to some comment—

They all noticed the way Cole went as still as a statue, the room suddenly silent. “...what?”

Now everyone was leaning into the doorway, eyes locked onto Cole. The mystery just kept getting more mysterious! Jay and Kai glanced at each other, silently conversing through complex eyebrow gymnastics—

“You’re joking.” Cole wasn’t even tap-tap-tapping his foot anymore, as still as a statue. “You’re pulling my fucking leg. This isn’t—”

Whatever happened on the other end of the phone made Cole’s eyes widen in disbelief. The ninja watched as his grip on the phone grew slacker, slacker, the phone beginning to slip from his hand—

Cole doubled over as he choked on air, the phone clattering to the floor. The ninja all met each other’s eyes. Kai and Wu began to move into the room to go help Cole, only to stop in their tracks when Cole grabbed the phone, and, still kneeling on the floor, spoke.

“I’m fine, I’m fine, I—” Cole threw his head back, muttering what might have been a prayer to the First Master before speaking again. “Dad—and I say this with all due respect—but—just—what the fuck?”

The ninja were all silently conversing now, astonishment in their eyes as they tried to determine via eyebrow wiggles and hand movements who in the name of the First Master could be Lou’s new fiance. Even Wu contributed the occasional beard stroke and pointed look to the conversation. No conclusions were reached, though, as Cole continued to converse with his father.

“So when’s the wedding? Oh, are you gonna send out fancy invites?” Cole asked, nodding as Lou responded. “Okay, right, makes sense.” He turned back around again, his foot once again tap-tap-tapping against the floor. “I’ll keep an eye on the mail.” He chuckled at something said on the other end. “Bye, Dad. Love you too. Bye.” With a sigh, Cole lowered the phone, the call apparently over.

The smart thing to do would be to go back to the video game and pretend none of them had heard any of that, to try and respect Cole’s dad’s privacy by waiting until the supposed wedding invites would arrive—

Oh, who cared! As one, everyone spilled into the room, almost tumbling over each other as they swarmed Cole.

“YOUR DAD’S REMARRYING?!”

“Who is it?”

“Are they nice?”

“When’s the wedding?”

“Are we invited?”

“Where will they be getting married?”

“Lou? Remarrying?!”

“Whoa—” Cole stumbled back from the onslaught, turning pleading eyes to Sensei Wu for a moment. But Wu was to be no help, instead stroking his beard contemplatively. With a resigned sigh, Cole turned his attention back to the others. “Guys, guys, slow down, I only just found out—”

“Cole.” Jay gripped Cole’s shoulders with such intensity that Cole could no longer move. “If you don’t tell us who your dad’s marrying I am going to go straight to his house to find out.” His voice was thick with its intensity, static electricity making the ends of his hair begin to float.

“Yeah!” Lloyd added, “We gotta make sure she’s good enough for Lou!” From the looks on everyone’s faces, it was clear that Jay and Lloyd would not be alone in going all the way to Cole’s childhood home to pry into Lou’s love life.

“Wait,” Cole’s attention locked onto Lloyd. “You don’t know?”

Lloyd blinked. “Why would I know?” One could see the gears in his head turning as he tried to parse the hidden meaning in Cole’s question. His eyes literally lit up once it clicked, his expression morphing into one of horror. “Wait, it’s not…” He inhaled sharply, “mom, right?” Misako and Garmadon had divorced shortly after Lloyd was born, and despite some flirting here and there they had never quite rekindled their old flame. Lloyd’s head began to spin—only for Cole’s hand to land on his shoulder, bringing Lloyd’s attention back to the here and now.

“It’s not Misako.” Cole said, though his tone suggested that Misako might be preferable to whatever was going to come out of his mouth next. He took a deep breath, “The guy my dad’s marrying…” Cole started—the anticipation of the air thickened to the point of suffocation, the heavy silence cut by Kai and Jay’s excited “GUY?”—

“…Is Garmadon.”

The ensuing cacophony reached all the way across Ninjago. Suffice to say, nobody would be returning to the video game for a while.

[chiquilines]

As promised i deliver,,, MotoGP fuyumi coming your way

[stiffyck]

POV u just insulted mumbo

[s0ull3ss-p3rs0n]

Look at my miserable child (aka behold, my silly little FSM design or atleast an attempt at it)