#send help this is weird

[disorganised-bagel]

why am i being so productive recently this is weird

in the past 3 weeks i've fully written and posted 2 oneshots, and now i'm actually making progress on one that i have been attempting to write since may

what is happening

what is this

[inkskinned]

okay is she being actually immature or is it just a woman over 30 expressing a human experience you find to be immature.

like yeah. at certain ages... let shit go. im not defending the real immature shit. im not defending the karen you're picturing. i worked in retail i hate those people too. (once somebody got mad at me because she didn't like how our winter window decor was a snowman smoking a pipe. i wish i was joking).

but men at 57 will write books about how 17 year old girls are soooo sexy. they will invent worlds where women have to be naked for "armor reasons." they will write songs that treat women as objects. people rush to defend them. meanwhile a woman at 35 will be like "heartbreak is hard, actually" or "i feel betrayed by a friend" or "i am struggling with something emotionally." immediately people will say stuff like this woman is 35 by the way. by the way this woman is SO OLD to be experiencing this. BY THE WAY.

im 31, almost 32. the other day a poet was blasted online because at her "big age", she had written a poem about feeling unloved. top comment was "this woman is 29 by the way." this woman is too old to still be useful, by the way. she has to behave better . maybe if she was a good wife and mother she could stop existing loudly, and the story could continue on without her. this woman has served her purpose, by the way. she's so cringe, by the way. at 29 - so old! - she still hasn't figured out that her existence should be one of shame.

[haxxydraws]

nuisance

[miedei]

saw your post about wanting to write a one off and was thinking spencer buys reader a cute gift or something ‘just because’ or he saw it and thought of her and she’s like completely taken aback and happy and idk its short but fluffy

you angel i love this!!

set this in a newly established relationship because i said so

.8k, new bf spencer buys you a gift out of nowhere

(reblogs are the only way to promote fics on tumblr! please reblog if you enjoyed it :) )

mlist

Toeing open your front door, you sigh contentedly. It's the first evening this week that you have something to look forward to, and it's giddy, the feeling you get.

The texts you exchanged with Spencer pop up when you unlock your phone, and you smile dopily at it. The first was sent two hours ago:

SPENCER!: Just made it back to the office. We'll be here for a little while. Can I go over to your place afterward?

And then, ten minutes after the first one:

SPENCER!: I hope it's okay I asked that. I haven't seen you in a while.

You had texted him back immediately, giving him the go-ahead to meet you at your apartment when you got home, and now you can't wait, busying yourself with chores to make the time pass faster.

You're puttering around your kitchen when the three distinctive knocks that you've come to recognise as Spencer's ring out through the space. Opening the door, a smile creeps onto your face at the sight of him.

He's clearly frazzled, hair messy and shirt wrinkled, but he looks so soft. You can't help but reach up on your toes and press a kiss to his cheek, if only to see the flush rise up his neck as you do so.

"I missed you." You lead him into the living room, watching him set down his go bag and look down at you.

"I missed you too. I'm glad... Glad I could come see you tonight."

A thrill runs up your spine at the sight of him, standing in your home with no (okay, maybe a little) nerves. Every time you see him here it feels like the space bends around him, inviting him in until it feels like he belongs here.

Grabbing his hand, you pull him down to the couch, sitting next to him at a calculated distance. Not too far where you can't touch him, but still far enough that your brain won't be overwhelmed by his proximity.

You're little apprehensive, the first time you see Spencer after some time apart, wondering if the chemistry between you would fade after the distance. However, you're quickly proven wrong, conversation flowing so freely that it takes a couple hours for Spencer to remember what he wanted to do when he got here.

You've both shifted, your feet tucked up under you and your side pressed against his, when he finally remembers, straightening up against you.

"I have something for you!" You look up at him quizzically, confused at the suddenness of his comment. He holds your shoulders gently (albeit with quite a bit of blushing), angling you so that you're not leaning on him anymore. It allows him to stand up, rifling through his leather satchel until he finds it.

It's a small cuboid package, wrapped in brown paper. You shift on the couch, setting your feet on the floor so you can look at him as he settles next to you again.

"What is this?" At the sound of your words, he presses the package into your hands.

"When we finished the case, Elle showed me a bookstore near the precinct that we were at. I found some books I was looking for, and also..." He trails off, gesturing at the package in your lap. "Open it."

As you carefully unwrap the paper, you can see his hands fidgeting in his lap, sending a rush of affection through you.

"Spencer, you really didn't have to get me anything, I'm just happy you're- oh my god." The paper pulls apart to reveal a clothbound copy of Emma by Jane Austen, your favourite book of all time.

Running your hand over the beautiful book, you look up at him, eyes full of emotion.

"You got this for me?" He rubs the back of his neck sheepishly.

"You showed me your copy a few weeks ago, and I thought you'd maybe like a hardcover as well. I don't know, I just saw it and thought of you. Is this too much? I'm sorry if I'm coming on too strong-" He's cut off by you throwing your arms over his shoulders, tugging him into a hug that attempts to show him how much this means to you.

You've only been dating for a few months, and you'd mentioned the book only once, the first time he came over to your apartment. You can recall the delight in his eyes when he saw the well-worn paperback that sits in prime position in your bookshelf.

It's overwhelming, the thought that he remembered that detail for so long, that he thought of you when he was out for work, that he bought it for you when it wasn't an occasion or anything. You can only bury your face in his neck, murmuring words into his skin.

"It's perfect, Spencer, thank you. You're perfect. God, I missed you."

You can't see it this time, but the heat of his skin against yours tells you that he's blushing again, even as he brings his arms up to wrap around you.

[marragurl]

Look. This ain’t true. Like at all. This is so not the dynamic of this ship-

BUT

It’s fucking hilarious

So I made this on a google doc on my phone and I’m heading back to my sleep because of course, this came to me in a dream

[heart-0f-a-rebel16]

it’s time for a rebels rewatch

[dizzybizz]

i can be trusted w farming sims for sure yep mhm yes ofc not a problem 👍

[monaetheworldsdestroyer]

one day i had a dream that Charles and Erik were both running for president and at first Raven was on Erik's side but then she joined Charles and they had a presidental debate which i don't remember anything from and after that debate Erik walked up to Charles&Raven and looked at her and deadpanned "i hope you crumble under the weight of sins you claim are my own" and then turned around and walked away and i just wanted to say that this dramatic bitch behavior is so in character for him

[bobodemais]

HOW DARE THEY THROW A ROCK AT YOU—-

*bandages the ouchie to make it better*

"HEY BUD. I THINK IT WAS SO SWEET THAT SOMEONE SO KIND LIKE YOU WOULD TAKE CARE OF ME YOU PROBABLY WOULDN'T MIND PETTING ME FOR THE PAST 100 HOURS RIGHT? Since you're so prestative. Hope you don't mind me holding your hand tighter every hour we will spend togheter."

[tswwwit]

demon!dip au bill: WHERE IS MY MORTAL HE SHOULDVE TURNED 18 AND SUMMONED ME ALREDY IS HE DEAD AGAIN NO I DONT LIKE IT!

demon!dip: *living his best nerd library demon life, quietly chilling*

bill: I MISS MY HUSBAND WHEN WILL HE COME BACK FROM REINCARNATION

so bill canonically is in a Terrible, Bad, Foul, Murder First Mood for almost-two decades everytime dipper's off growing up? and is watching the mortal planet obsessively to FIND THE MORTAL!

...i do wonder what would happen if a teenage dipper incernation + mabel found their way into mindscape through shenaningans a la GF with another demon, barely survive their way into almost escaping by the virtue of teenage fantasy show protagonist halos, till they draw attention of the Big Boss Bill himself. "oh fuck, another demon!" to "oh fuck, another demon so scary our demonenemy is losing all their color. literally becoming transparent." to "why is he???? BEING FRIENDLY? THIS IS A TRAP!?"

Oh, Bill's not in a bad mood the whole time Dipper's gone!

While the spouse is away, the demon will play! Invading minds, pestering planets, cruel tricks on hapless idiots, ordering pizza with anchovies. Bill gets to do all the stuff he typically doesn't and enjoy a nice little bit of alone time.

Of course the shine quickly wears off that particular apple. By the end of the eighteen years, Bill's more than itching to bother his favorite mortal once more!

The real bad mood happens when Dipper's supposed to be back, and doesn't show up. Woe betide any nearby demons if the wait drags on too long, because a frustrated Bill is a very angry Bill indeed.

[plant-ago]

An Open Letter to Dan and Phil

Dear beloved nerds,

This was originally going to be an (even longer) actual letter that I was going to give to you at the tour, but my nonprofit-employed ass can’t afford a meet and greet, so we’re doing this instead. I promise it’s not just trauma dumping— mostly, it’s about saying thank you and trying to cultivate some hope for all of us.

I’ve been a big fan since around 2014, when I was a mentally ill neurotic deeply repressed loner egg (average phannie, let's be honest). Now I’m a whole adult who got therapy and HRT and has joined the legions of transmascs with the Dan Howell haircut! What a legacy.

I’m making jokes because the thing I actually want to talk about, and the reason I decided to make this an open letter, is kind of serious. But in light of the election, I feel like I need to share this, both with you and with all the other queers in this little corner of the internet.

Here’s the gist: I’m a paralegal at a non-profit organization that works to help queer migrants get asylum. Mostly what I do is sit them down in our nasty sterile office and try to be kind, and help them get through telling me all the most terrible things that have happened to them, and then turn around and pare it all down into legalese that is digestible to the government to make the case they should get asylum.

It’s a horrible job, really, and one that shouldn’t have to exist. Some parts are plainly wonderful, like meeting so many queer people from all walks of life. But it’s also heartrending and difficult, and burnout is always looming. My horrible banal work is often literally a matter of life and death for the client, and I’m fighting a broken system for a chance at giving them the happiness and safety is owed to them by international law and, really, by any decent human standard, should never have been in question.

The thing is—and this is reason to hope—queer people really do exist everywhere, no matter how much repression and violence we face. In a tiny village in Colombia, there's a kid who’s all spit and vinegar, dresses like a boy and plays football and fights anyone who says that they can’t, who grows up wiry and gets black eyes because men still can’t handle getting their asses handed to them on the soccer field by a dyke. This client texts me at my work number sometimes to ask if I’ve eaten that day, because they wanted to check in on me. He asked me to call him by a boy’s name, recently. I don’t know that he’s told anyone else. I open every message I send him with "Hola, James."

Then there’s the sweet, babyfaced college freshman who got death threats when he was outed to his classmates back home, and whose parents kicked him out when he refused to marry a girl to protect the family's reputation, leaving him alone in a foreign country. He was couch surfing and just trying not to miss class so he could keep his student status and he was so conscientious I wanted to cry— he’s eighteen, guys. Eighteen. I’ll get him his papers or so help me fucking God I will kill for him. You know? You know. After that meeting I had to sit at my desk with my notebook and fill an entire blank page with the phrase “he’s just a kid,” over and over again, until I felt like I could breathe.

On a Friday morning recently I get up and open my laptop to interpret on a call with a soft-spoken older trans woman who's sat in the bleak phone room of the ICE detention facility because her immigration judge didn’t believe that she was really transgender. “An odor of mendacity pervades everything the respondent says,” the judge wrote in her ruling, where she determined the client wasn't "credible." To this day I’m still floored that she straight up ripped off Tennessee Williams—new frontiers in bigotry, truly. She didn’t even cite. In our meeting now, the client quietly tells us how hard it was when she came out but how happy she was the first time she wore makeup, and she'd rather stay in detention here for indeterminate years as proceedings spiral on than go back to Guatemala, where they'll kill her—boys, if I ever get within spitting distance of this fuckass judge, it is on SIGHT. Absolutely fucking ON SIGHT. For legal purposes, that was a JOKE.

So I finish the call and get up to get a snack. It’s only ten am but feel tired already because I’m angry, which is not unusual but also not something I want to hold onto, because it doesn't help anything. So I make some toast and look at my phone— two texts, which I ignore, a spam email, and, wouldn't you know it, a YouTube notification from Dan and Phil games! Jarring! That’s just sort of how life is though, isn’t it? Deathly serious and lighthearted in the same breath.

But regardless, seeing the notification makes me feel warm, so I have my toast and watch a little video of you two playing Roblox or dress up or whatever it is you do on that channel these days. I have a good giggle and I finish my toast and go back to my desk. It’s a crucial part of my diet really— the giggles, not the toast. I’m not angry anymore. I’ll be angry again, but for now my cortisol levels are manageable and I can put my head back into emails or whatever the fuck. Do you ever think about how plants make food for free out of sunlight but we sit around writing emails all day? And that’s if we’re lucky. Capitalism is hell.

Anyway, there is a point I am trying to make, and it’s not really about the banal horrors of neoliberal nation-state or capitalism or even homophobia. It’s to say thank you for coming back to make silly videos together, because I love them, and you never fail to make me happy. And yeah, maybe something about the story of that scared eighteen-year-old kid at the front of my mind makes it particularly sweet to watch you two goofing off and being openly queer. It reminds me why I’m doing what I’m doing, and it gives me the strength to send another fucking email because sometimes doing “important work that I value and believe in deeply” means having to send another fucking email. And sometimes I’ll rewatch your older videos, and then come back to the more recent ones, and my heart bruises, because you remind me what I’m fighting for and why. It’s nothing grandiose, it’s just— for queer people to get to have the ability to grow into themselves and be outrageous and silly and make mistakes and to love and be loved for who they are. To have the safety and support and security that no one should ever go without. That’s all.

So I am being dead serious when I say thank you for making top-tier light entertainment, and for coming back to a job that wasn’t always kind to you, and that it does actually matter. All this talk about terrible influences and legacies has made me think that sometimes you doubt whether you do good in the world, so let me be clear: you really, really do. I kind of get the sense that in order to accept sincerity Dan needs to be beat over the head with it, so if that’s the case, consider yourself coerced, you dickhead. You matter to me, and especially in times like these, I think I speak for all of us when I say that the joy you share is a precious and treasured gift. So please accept my gratitude in return.

All my love,

Jules

(I removed or changed all identifying information in this letter to protect privacy, but the stories are real).

[roseslost]

Okay, but what if the Avgins had their own native language and Dr Ratio (or whoever you ship Aventurine with) learned it one day for one reason or another?? Then, Aventurine, happy that he found somebody he can talk with in his native language, started teaching Ratio random slang that wouldn't be in textbooks. By the end of it they have their little secret language that they can use to exchange intel on mission. Maybe Ratio teaches Aventurine Latin too.

[mashbrainrot]

there is someone out there who insists on putting horrible comments on fics, in people's tumblr inboxes, anywhere they can get their grubby little paws. often just the usual fare for pathetic trolls - rape threats, suicide bait, the odd racial slur... occasionally, they branch out and try their hand at slightly more insidious attempts to sow discord between people.

they mostly don't make an impact, however, not only because they are so transparent, but also because anyone who has ever come into contact with this person knows full well who they are, and knowing that sort of makes the whole thing vaguely laughable.

however, now and again they sort of... widen their scope a bit, and just on the off chance that they might send their little attacks to anyone vulnerable, or unknowing, I just wanted to let you all know that they really are just the work of one very sad individual who has nothing better to do with their time. they're not a real threat to anyone, except maybe themselves. please please don't take anything they say to heart. just block, report, turn off anon comments, anything you need or want to do.

I'm not sure if they'll get bored – they haven't yet, and frankly I don't think they have much else to sustain them besides perhaps deleting and remaking endless tumblr blogs – but ignoring them wholeheartedly is genuinely what is best for you, and that is what is important.

so, look after yourselves. they're just a troll.

[pup-pee]

he is the dirt under my fingernails

[uncorrectintamed]

Jiang Cheng: [Bursting into Wuxian's room] Wei Wuxian!

Wei Wuxian: I HAVE AN ALIBI

[necrotic-nephilim]

For the ask game: AU where during Tim's search for Bruce, Ra's agrees to help him on one condition: Tim will sleep with him. (It's probably some kind of scheme on Ra's part.) How their dynamic would change with more overt sexual undertone underlying their interactions...

for the ask game!

UGH i love this type of thing so much. in my heart, this is canon. to me. Ra'sTim my fucked up beloveds you two are so terrible for each other.

so what i think is fun and often misunderstood in fanon is that Tim didn't go to Ra's, Ra's went to Tim. so it's even more fun if Ra's goes to Tim, and has that condition he holds over Tim's head. offering all of Ra's' resources, full access to his computers, someone just genuinely believing Tim and working with him. i think, a lot of it would be a mind game for Ra's. sure he wants to fuck Tim, but more than that, he wants to see Tim's reaction. he expects an immediate no, in the way Tim is so hesitant to work with Ra's in the first place. he's pushing Tim's buttons and basically treating Tim like a rat in a maze. so when Tim says yes, and doesn't seem to hesitate too much. *that's* intriguing. because in a perfect world for Ra's, Tim says yes because of a genuine returned attraction. but Ra's isn't quite sure if that's the reason. it could just be because of Tim's search for Bruce. so Ra's would really push it, see how far he could take the sex. it's simple sex first, but Ra's gets more and more interesting each time. slowly working in kinks just to see where Tim draws the line in the sand, and if Ra's can convince Tim to cross that line.

on Tim's side, i think it's fun if you play with Tim being so deep in the closet he doesn't even realize he's bisexual, yet. so to him, sex with Ra's doesn't *really* count as sex. he knows Ra's is weirdly obsessed with him, and Tim wants to play that to his advantage. he likes the power that obsession gives him, within the League. so, if it takes some sex to satiate Ra's, Tim mentally views it as like, a training session. no worse than those unpleasant endurance trainings Bruce used to make them all do. and i like the accidental catch-22 of it. where at first, the sex does very little for Tim. but the more Ra's gets creative and kinky about it, the more Tim *actually* starts to enjoy it. Tim's bisexual crisis except it's over a centuries-old man showing him the joys of sadomasochism in an agreement that was supposed to be totally normal for Tim bc he just gets himself into these situations.

i think one of the biggest changes would be Tim's sheer amount of power and immunity in the League would be even higher. *everyone* can tell Ra's is fucking Tim, he's not really trying to hide it with the way he looks at Tim and touches him in front of everyone. Tim tries to stay clinical and professional, but you can only look so respected working when Ra's is basically stroking your chest as you work. there are whispers, people keep tellin Ra's not to trust this random son of the Bat, but no one will say it to Tim's face. it'd give Tim more power over Ra's' operation outside of the Bruce search. sure, Tim can't change the nature of the League of Assassins, but he can. tip the scales a bit. pull Ra's back from being lethal in certain situations, convince Ra's not to engage in other places. Tim is careful not to overextend this power so he doesn't lose it, but everyone else sees just how much power Tim has. he even start working on taking people out from under Ra's, when Tim goes nuclear and leaves. like how Tim basically steals Prudence, he steals some other younger Assassins he thinks he can convince to come to his side. because he's with Ra's, he starts to command a level of respect so it's not a difficult thing to do. sure, Tim's just the kid keeping Ra's' bed warm. but also, he's the kid *Ra's* deemed worthy enough to be involved with, so it's a double-edged sword of both disgust and respect held for Tim.

it's so funny to me if Tim starts to catch feelings. Ra's of course has feelings, but Tim has never noticed his feelings for a man before so he's fucking panicking internally. and worse, he's not doing a good job of hiding it. Ra's is perceptive and has centuries of experience on Tim. so he can tell. he sees the look on Tim's face when Ra's does a genuine romantic gesture with no strings attached. and that's when Ra's really leans into it. the sex is one thing, but now it's courting. gifts, pet names, kisses, praise, the whole nine yards. and Tim doesn't outwardly deny any of it because he just... doesn't know what to do with it. he could handle stupidly good sex. but this?? this is new territory. he's constantly reminding himself Ra's isn't a good person. which isn't hard to do but still, Tim's just a little torn internally. also. i think Ra's would at least try to kill Captain Boomerang, if not outright succeed, as a courting present for Tim. and Tim is *horrified*, but then again, in canon, he almost personally killed Boomerang. so maybe. there's something nice about having Boomerang dead, while escaping culpability. Ra's thinks his corruption crusade is working on Tim and is absolutely gloating about it. they even go on a proper date.

but, in the end, Tim still backstab Ra's. i think Ra's would still try to go for control of WI, but would be convinced Tim would be totally okay with it and offers to share control with Tim. that's how Tim betrays him, he's allowed to handle so much of the paperwork, Ra's has no idea until it all goes through that he actually has no control. it's The betrayal. because Tim will always betray his love for what he thinks is the right thing to do. the infamous scene, where Ra's kicks Tim out of a window would go a lot differently. instead of a dramatic fight, it's deeply wounded betrayal. in canon Ra's always knew Tim was never in his pocket, but in this AU, he was naive enough to fall for it. and he's angry. he's angry at Tim, angry at himself. i think he'd straight up try to kidnap Tim. less "kick Tim out a window" and more "intimately hold a knife to Tim's throat" vibes. they part ways, but there's still. something lingering. the bridge isn't fully burned and Ra's is still going to seek out Tim when he needs help, and Tim will seek out Ra's. they'll never trust each other again. but they also can't seem to stop loving each other. Tim hides it from the Batfamily and Ra's never gives Tim that level of control in the League again but. the "i didn't know who else to got to." moments are inevitable and there are whispers in the villain community about how you better be careful around Red Robin because if you're not, you'll piss off the Demon Head. unspoken, deadly protection while still sort of trying to kill each other.