#pls dont eat me alive

[pup-pee]

he is the dirt under my fingernails

[ecofear]

twitter keeps showing me people admitting never to reading the odyssey and other people hounding them for being stupid and uneducated and im sitting there like ... dont tell any of them i havent read it either. i want to live

[osachiyo]

chiyooooo what do u think the bsd men would call their partners ??? can be nsfw or sfw doesn’t matter i just like pet names :3

-🪽

this is one thing im TERRIBLE at, sorry if these are inaccurate, nonnie (╥﹏╥)

dazai would call you babe, baby, sweetheart, his will to live, beautiful, wifey (if ur married), and cute short versions of your name :3

chuuya loves to call you his so he would be like — my (pretty) girl, my princess, my baby etc <3 (he's so perfect y'all)

fedya likes to call you darling, my dear, love, his lil rat, beloved, honey & angel because you remind him of one <3 (and don't act up bc otherwise the names would be a lot more ... different 😦)

OKAY SO kolya would call you the cutest names but also the GOOFIEST ones too .. dove (bc of obvious reasons) is his favorite thing to call you, but he also likes bunny, cutie, pookie, lovebug (purposely calls u that to make u cringe). but sometimes he'd randomly be like "heya my circular saw! 😊" ... or "what's up my little electric chair?! 😋" .. yeah

adding ranpo bc yea — i feel like he'd call you basically anything he likes to eat .. honey, sugar, cupcake, pumpkin, cherry pie, but also bear bc he thinks you look like one when you get mad at him for eating too much candy ..

[cloudcountry]

first impressions of ikevil characters except i havent touched the game. and by that i mean i am making assumptions about them LMAO

i know this comparison has probably been made so many times and i know how annoying it is for characters to be referred to as sebastian from black butler, but when i saw alfons for the first time i GENUINELY thought he was sebastian and i was confused as to why he was on my pinterest home page

when i first saw elbert i thought about elderberries!! so i associated him with fruit only to find out that his curse is apparently snow white??? whatever that means????? so he!! is related to fruit!! but he seems like the poetic type C:

ellis is SO PRETTY UGHHH

LIKE LOOK AT HIM AAAAAAAAAAA I LOVE HIS FACE/ HES SO PRETTYF USDGVJHDASFJSFVGASFVASGFHLFHASJDHJDFHJGSFGHEDSWFGUWEFUIGWEFGYWEFGWEFGHWEFGYSFEGYUEFYGUWYUFEGHGHWYEFSGSHEFJGHESFGHJ I CANT EVEN I KEEP . TRYING TO COME UP WITH A CONHERENT THING TO SAY BUT DEAR LORD HIS AFCE SKJDFHJHIUGHYESAWDFCIHUJWRESDFGIUHOJKNSDFRGVHI NOSEDFHLNIK SRDGVHBJKLRSFGVHUIKOWESDFRIUHOYWEASFIYOHLUWRSGYUIHOLHILDTGHOUKDTGF

ive kind of been unofficially introduced to harrison by vio (who says hes perfect all the time hehe) BUT VIO VERSE ASIDE he seems very polite. proud of him!!!

liam gave HEAVY loki and charles vibes only to find out heyyy guess what HIS CURSE IS THE CHESIRE CAT WOAH and it JUST occured to me but WHAT IF THEIR CURSES ARE SPOILERS.,,..,.,. UM OOPS ANYWAYS

roger scares me. i dont know why but he looks the most normal out of everyone and that freaks me out. i just KNOW he does some fucked up shit i KNOW it.

IVE SEEN PEOPLE TALK ABOUT VICTOR BEFORE i think the closest comparison i can make is comte?? hes like the dad of everyone???? also the fandom is obsessed with his hair i think

i remember william rex from the "guess if this otome guy is a vampire or not" game vio and i played and i was CONVINCED HE WAS A VAMPIRE but he isnt :(( i got really excited when i saw his name though because rex means KING and i was like HAGSDFHAGSDFH

ive also seen a lot of stuff about jude and he seems like a fan favorite. him and ellis are silly. he seems like a silvio type???? tough love????? really mean????? IDK.

[lanaevyssmoved]

egging halsin and minty on FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT

[yeyinde]

Hi! If you don’t mind me asking, what characters are you feeling inspired to write for at the moment? Not to send in requests or anything, just to see where the next yeyinde era will take me!

Hiya!! "Yeyinde era" I love it so much 🥹

I'm kinda shuffling through some stuff while combating the prevailing sense of ennui that seems to come with summer, but currently I'm working on fics for Richie Jerimovich, Jacob Seed (I say for the third month in a row with absolutely nothing posted to show for it 😭), and another little far cry 5 au (kindaaa) but I wanna write about what happens after the Dep decides not to arrest Joseph because 👀 ohhh, my goddddddd. But I shan't say anything else because I promise I won't shut up about it if I start now.

And also!! Ghostface, Yautja, finishing up Fever in a Shockwave, John Wick, and Tom Wombsgans x Greg Hirsch, maybe some Kendall Roy.

And ummmmmm.

[headgear-smelvin-fart]

the venemous euphoria I get just thinking of bigots humiliating themselves... is a little concerning tbh

[pup-pee]

jason todd is the most judgmental accepting person

[bizzybee429]

god I'm depressed 🫠

[sar3nka]

Also crazy woman made me act unwise again I talked to her for like 2 hours. It was a weirdass situation. There was karaoke and I sang mr brightside for her 💀 put my entire heart into it too damn she clapped and we talked and laughed a lot

[abracazabka]

sometimes you have to block the person constantly posting taylor swift lyrics in your ship tag. sometimes it simply must be done. for the greater good. for all of mankind.

[pierregazly]

a diamond's gotta shine ꨄ lance stroll smau

lance stroll x fem!reader

pic credit: pinterest

i know lance is daddy's money through and through (and i love a nepo baby sorry), but he is so 'my love language is gift giving so i'm going to spoil my girlfriend with everything i can' boyfriend material so here's that basically

yourusername

liked by lance_stroll, chloestroll, estebanocon, and 467,891 others

yourusername he ALWAYS let me drive the truck... sorry taylor

view all 1,347 comments

lance_stroll it is not a truck and PLEASE stop eating in the aston martin

lance_stroll at least stop eating in it without me

chloestroll wouldn't want a matcha date with anyone else 💗

liked by yourusername and 462 others

username imagine just casually eating fruit in a literal aston martin??? i dont even eat fruit in my car in fear of everything getting sticky 😭

username i want her life so bad

lance_stroll

tagged yourusername

liked by yourusername, chloestroll, fernandoalo_oficial, and 1,206,708 others

lance_stroll spent the last 2 years with her shoes in my hands after nights out, hoping for a hundred more

view all 9,071 comments

yourusername i am SO obsessed with you

yourusername even after 2 years, gonna be obsessed with u forever lance_stroll wouldn't have it any other way

username the toaster and i have a hot date with the bathtub tonight

username the things i would do to have lance stroll hold my shoes in his million dollar hands after a night out :(

username i want someone to love me even half as much as lance loves y/n ugh

chloestroll i taught you well

yourusername

tagged lance_stroll

liked by lance_stroll, yourfriend, estebanocon, and 450,687 others

yourusername all i asked for was a picture, and he decided to give me 2 years of his life and his heart. i'll love you til my lungs give out.

view all 3,491 comments

username all she asked for was a PICTURE 😭 and he gave her his heart 😭 and she'll love him til her lungs give out 😭

username im literally throwing up, sobbing, screaming, dying at this caption

lance_stroll my heart has been yours since the day you blew my breath away

liked by 5,782 users

username i usually hate lovey-dovey couples but these two... girl they got me wanting to be adopted frfr

username im calling it... girlypop's gonna have a ring by year 3 for sure

lance_stroll

liked by yourusername, mickschumacher, chloestroll, and 203,456 others

lance_stroll yeehaw

view all 2,340 comments

username this is such a look... are we sure this man isn't from alberta

yourusername i will save all the horses if it means i get to ride this cowboy

username y/n.... estebanocon there are children on this app

username i was literally waiting for that y/n comment... these two are disgustingly unhinged

yourusername has added a story

liked by lance_stroll, chloestroll, and others

replies

lance_stroll why didn't you post the pic of both of us in the bath :(

yourusername i wasn't trying to traumatize your family my love lance_stroll u posted that you're going to 'ride this cowboy' but a pic of me in the bath is too much?

yourusername

tagged lance_stroll

liked by lance_stroll, scottyjames31, chloestroll, and 102,340 others

yourusername do you think i get to meet emily in paris or am i stuck with lance

view all 1,341 comments

lance_stroll i just bought you that croissant and coffee and this is what i get as thanks????

yourusername i am so obsessed w u im sorry my favourite cowboy 🥺

username this is so wholesome lance is so boyfriend coded im crying

username y/n is literally living her best life ever i want to be her so bad

scottyjames31 i just know all of these photos were taken at least 75 times

yourusername mind ur own business scotty

lance_stroll and yourusername

liked by chloestroll, estebanocon, mickschumacher and 2,304,550 others

lance_stroll watching you walk down the aisle will make me the luckiest man alive

view all 6,789 comments

estebanocon did you pay her to say yes?? congratulations you two 🥂

chloestroll even though i helped plan this entire thing i STILL cried on the phone. so happy for you both!!

username this man bought her like 5k worth of goodies and then put a RING that's probably worth my yearly salary on her finger??? god has chosen his favourite

yourusername im so lucky to be the one you've chosen to spend the rest of your life with. je t'aime 💗

taglist

@leclercdream @myescapefromthislife @leclerces

i didnt tag anyone that specifically requested in the replies to be tagged for 'to live for the hope of it all' and all its parts (mostly bc idk how taglists work and i dont wanna bother yall), so if you'd like to be on my taglist for everything please send me a quick ask/dm (or u can just reply and say you'd like to be tagged for everything)! thank you for all the love

[oh-mother-fucket]

man itd be crazy if there was tumblr in nevada.

0 notes

🥷wimbletins follow

we should kill people who annoy us

💀hostage005 follow

even me?????

🥷wimbletins follow

of course not hostage 005. i love you.

140 notes

🚬smokin-hot follow

gonna shove hank in the chamber wish me luck loyal followers 🙏

🚬smokin-hot follow

WHERE AM I

25 notes

🔴god-emperor-of-nevada follow

NEWSFLASH, NEXUS CORE, I'VE BEEN ALIVE THIS ENTIRE TIME!!!!!

🪶prophet-of-bouyancy follow

please im so tired

🔴god-emperor-of-nevada follow

You have to come work for me boy.

🪶prophet-of-bouyancy follow

i cant fucking do this man

14 notes

🛑clownin-around follow

DOES ANYONE WANT TO PLAY SAW TRAPS WITH ME HANK DO YOU WANT TO PLAY SAW TRAPS WITH ME

🥷wimbletins follow

please. no more.

235 notes

💀hostage002 follow

its so cold and dark in here

💀hostage005 follow

there are skins in the corner if you need warmth

💀hostage002 follow

im so fucking hungry man i might eat them instead

💀hostage008 follow

i havent seen the outside world in years youll get used to it

✂️2bdamned follow

can u guys stop bein so dam dramatic and help with dinner. its not even that cold

💀hostage002 follow

easy for you to say

✂️2bdamned follow

we dont have ac you stupid bitch

47 notes

🪝torture-luvrrr follow

why nothin fit me no more :/ everythings so tight tshirts are like crop tops nowadays

🪝torture-luvrrr follow

thanks for the one singular like deimos i know what you are.

🚬smokin-hot follow

hey. whats up man.

⭕aahw-asset-573744858 follow

hey smokin-hot jsyk op is a literal torturer and kidnapper and conspirator you shouldnt be so buddy buddy w them

🚬smokin-hot follow

yeah i know

⭕aahw-asset-573744858 follow

then pls unfollow and block them, i dont wanna add you to the callout post

🚬smokin-hot follow

serious question why do you follow me

⭕aahw-asset-573744858 follow

idk i think youre cool

🚬smokin-hot follow

oh my maker. dude. ohhhh my maker this is so fucking funny

buddy, im A DISSENTER

⭕aahw-asset-573744858 follow

thats a shame, i rlly liked u. pls consider reformatting bc dissenters have done nevada so much harm... i wish u the best

🪝torture-luvrrr follow

what the fuck is happening on my hornybait post

4362 notes

[fishsouper]

if they had tumblr on the lotf island simulator bc silly :))

🐚 thechief Follow

God I love him so much. Every time we kiss I feel so alive.

🔥 csharpmf Follow

cringe

🐚 thechief Follow

…this is literally about us

🔥 csharpmf Follow

OOOH FUCK I DIDNT READ THE USERNAME

#SORRY BABE OMFG #PLS FORGIVE ME WE CAN HAVE A PARTY W MY HUNTERS ON THE BEAJCH

(9 notes)

🦎 helloitssimon Follow

found a ton of these beautiful leaves and made a flower crown!!

🦎helloitssimon Follow

so. piggy has informed me that the rash on my arms and head is due to the posion ivy ive been wearing for a week.

#everything itches :,(

(23 notes)

🐷 number1ralphstan Follow

Greetings and salutations! This is my first official Tumblr post. My name is Peter. I use primarily he/him pronouns but do not mind they/them.

If you’re a supporter of J*ck or The H*nters DNI!!! I am a Ralph supporter!!! You choir boys make me sick!!!

I have asthma and I am gay. If you insult me, or call me fat, YOU WILL BE BLOCKED!!!

If you are anti-Ralph, I’m not afraid to call you out as the CONCHPHOBE you are!

Lastly: DO NOT CALL ME PIGGY. IT IS NOT MY NAME

🐺 xX_RogerTheHunter_Xx Follow

lmaoooo kys piggy

🐷 number1ralphstan Follow

FUCK YOU

FUCK YOU

FUCK YOU

FUCK YOU

#I AM SO ANGRY RIGHT NOW #YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF #tw h*nters #tw conchphobia #tw j*cks tribe

(341 notes)

👬 sam-and-eric-the-twins-alt-account Follow

#we’re personally more ralph-leaning #but not picky

(15,326 notes)

🔳 mulberry-boy-deactivated

t hebeasty i know it’s there i lnow the hel p help theyre is a beastie pleas

😭 PercivalWemdeysMadison Follow

hey op are you ok

😭 PercivalWemdeysMadison Follow

OP WHAT DOES THIS MEAN PLEASE

#I AM AFRAID

(40k notes)

🤡 sillybillymaurice Follow

brooo my homies @xX_RogerTheHunter_Xx and @csharpmf were talking about their kill streaks and i said “do you play on an open server or a private world” and they just looked confused 😭😭😭 like bro did. were. were you not taking about minecraft????

🐺 xX_RogerTheHunter_Xx Follow

🙂

🤡 sillybillymaurice Follow

girlie help?????

#ur so silly like wtf

(12 notes)

🔥 csharpmf Follow

bro check out this fire art i whipped up this afternoon 💪💪💪 nothin much just a quick doodle 💪💪💪

🐷 number1ralphstan Follow

Hey OP. Maybe do some research on famous art before attempting to plagiarize the Mona fucking Lisa. You disgusting credit thief.

🐺 xX_RogerTheHunter_Xx Follow

maybe you should learn what a joke is lmao

(31k notes)

🐚 thechief Follow

This is your daily reminder to take care of yourself! Drink water and eat some pig! AND FOR THE LOVE OF GOD DONT LET THE SIGNAL FIRE GO OUT!!!

🔥 csharpmf Follow

…i forgor

🐚 thechief Follow

ISTFG

#literally so pissed /srs

(2,176 notes)

🐺 xX_RogerTheHunter_Xx Follow

i am #strong. i am #emo. i listen to #mychemicalromance. i am #dark

*lifts black hair off face, revealing black eyeshadow* i cannot feel love. i care about no one. because i am #EMO!!!! /srs

🦎 helloitssimon Follow

:(

🐺 xX_RogerTheHunter_Xx Follow

no!!! don’t be sad- *bites black lipstick covered lip and glances away* i… i love you

🦎helloitssimon Follow

:)

🐷 ralphsnumber1stan Follow

Oh my God. And you call ME cringe.

#no hate on Simon even though he’s a weirdo #but Roger is like a different breed of freaky #tw h*nters #tw j*cks tribe #tw conchphobia

(865 notes)

[helpmeimmona]

Your safe place.

Pairing: Beelzebub x Early OG game gn!MC (can be either romantic or platonic)

Word count: 736

Warnings: none, I guess (???) pls enjoy

A/N: OHMYGOD I dont know how to do anything yet!!!! I need a masterlist and some other things but i dont know how to do it yet and im very lazy at the moment. I think i liked how this turned out and I hope you guys like it too. English is not my first language so if you find any grammar error pls tell me <333

AND I DONT KNOW HOW TO MAKE A BANNER REALLY THIN SO I CAN SEPARATE THINGS 😭😭😭😭

Sleeping all night in the House Of Lamentation was not an easy task.

There were countless nights when you would wake up in the middle of the night to the sounds of one of the brothers fighting, or Levi bursting into your room to talk about some new anime with an unnecessarily long name, or Mammon's shrieks during Lucifer's punishments.

But today was different. For some reason, the house was peaceful and strangely quiet. No sudden noises. Afraid to jinx it, you just went to sleep as quietly as possible. Maybe the brothers chose peace today. Maybe they were too tired. Maybe they decided to give you a reward for your good work and just let you sleep the whole night today.

Maybe today you were lucky.

"MC..."

You open your eyes. Goddammit, you jinxed it in your thoughts. Good job.

Readjusting your eyes in the dark, your drowsy and sleep-deprived mind focused on who had called your name.

Beel was standing at the end of the bed, munching on some food, which wasn't strange. But something caught your attention. He seemed strangely... helpless. The normally blunt but caring brother, built like a gladiator, was wearing a hurt expression. His eyebrows were furrowed and he seemed desperate to fill his mouth with some snack to keep his lips from trembling.

"Beel? Is something wrong?" You asked, supporting your torso with your elbows to better understand the current situation.

The redhead had his arms glued to his side, his purple hues staring down as if he was afraid he was bothering you.

"Had another nightmare." The boy mumbled, his fingertips playing with the fabric of his sweatpants.

Your heart sank.

He probably had a dream about how he had to choose between his brother and sister, and how he couldn't save Lilith when she died in his arms.

Since Beel confessed to you what happened on the day of the fall, about his sister's death and Belphegor's hatred for humans, you realized that his survivor's guilt would one day eat him alive.

"Wanna sleep here with me?" You offered, without thinking much. "I will keep your nightmares away." You are reassured.

The avatar of gluttony's eyes finally met yours, and a sigh escaped his mouth as if he had been holding it for a long time.

"You don't mind?" He asked.

"Of course not, Beel." You shook your head, lifted your blanket so that he could lay next to you. "Eats."

Beelzebub checked for any signs of crumbs on his clothes or face before he laid on his side, shyly. You chose to wrap your arms around him, starting to stroke the little hairs on his nape and allowing him to hide his head on his chest. You squeezed him, holding his broad shoulders and tracing patterns on his muscular back.

"Wanna talk about it?" You asked softly.

Beel held his torso, intertwining his legs until he was nearly merging with his body and shook his head, seeming to sink more in his skin.

"It's just that... since Belphie's not here, and you don't need to sleep in my room anymore, I feel kinda... lonely." The demon mumbled, his voice muffled against your pajamas and you cooed, squeezing him a bit more. "And I feel good sleeping with you. The nightmares don't come." He said. "You make me feel small."

A soft smile appeared on your face and you took a deep breath. Even the strongest, those who protect need a place to be protected.

"Well, feel free to sleep here whenever you feel like you need it." His grasp on you tightened, and you went back to stroking his hair.

You felt him sigh, and you hoped that even for a little, you could be Beel's safe place.

__________________________________________

"Oi, get up! How much have ya been sleepin' for Lucifer to send me to wake ya up?!" Mmmm, what? What loud voice is that, disturbing your silent and calm night's sleep? "Stupid human, GET! UP! ALREADY!!!"

Something pulled your heat protector, and you whined, seeking body heat from the big thing you were still holding.

"WHA- WHAT THE HELL??" The voice screamed.

Little did you know what awaited you, when you had to listen to Mammon screaming all day about how he caught your and Beel's limbs entwined in the same bed, the redhead holding you for dear life while you both snored in a tranquil slumber.

[base0h]

Just went driving on a road it was scary ash. So anyway I was wondering how one piece characters would fair on the road. Ik for a fact that luffy is probably banned from every road imaginable. Have a good day slayer

a/n - ah yes I’m slayer 😂 (a demon slayer) jkjk thanks for your request anon and yes, Luffy is banned from driving forever. (Garp’s also banned but we don’t talk about that)

Warnings ⚠️ - modern au, g/n reader, crack, bro Luffy is so bad at driving it’s hilarious

- if you think you’re a bad driver no you’re not. Luffy’s 10x worse

- he eats when he drives and he steers the wheel with his toes 💀💀💀

- “You have to stop at the red lights Luffy.”

- “MFFMM got it!” *his mouth is full*

- bro speeds through red lights and somehow stays alive

- and this time he managed to fly through a literal building. A BUILDING.

- needless to say. You’re scared asf. (Who wouldn’t be-? I’d die the moment I step into the car 💀)

- “LUFFY STOP THE CAR AND PUT YOUR FEET ON THE BRAKES-!”

- “IM OUT OF FEET!” *feet on the steering wheel*

- “THEN USE YOUR FUCKING HANDS THATS WHAT THEYRE THERE FOR!”

- “IM EATING!”

- “SIDJEONRORNRKT STOP EATING OMFG-“ (you are about to murder your bf. i support that movement, do it)

- nothing can interrupt a meal 👍

- garp is just as bad except he gets more angry at dumb drivers. He’s also been banned by the city government from driving but he drives anyway

- Luffy is very close to being banned by the country government. That’s a whole new level of bad driving

- you have survived all the times and I commend you for that. If you didn’t worship god before you do now thanks to Luffy. You pray before every driving experience 🫶

- does zoro know how to drive? Yes

- is he good at it? Eh he’s ok

- does he use a gps? no.

- do you end up in Hawaii when you’re trying to go to Starbucks? Yes

- “HOW DID WE CROSS AN ENTIRE FUCKING OCEAN??” -you

- “I TOOK THE FREEWAY TF YOU MEAN?!” -zoro

- he’s a smooth driver don’t get me wrong, but he never ends up in the right place

- “zoro im gonna take a nap wake me up when we get there.”

- “k.”

- you’re on the right path, and it’s a straight way for a couple hours, nothing could go wrong! Right?

- when you woke up, you found yourself in the heat of a- battle?! WHERE TF WERE YOU?

- you saw stars all around you. NOT FIGURATIVELY. LITERALLY

- “Y/N PLS HELP.” (Zoro is dying rn)

- “WHERE TF ARE WE?!”

- “I DONT FUCKING KNOW?!”

- you’re in space. you’re in space.

- don’t ask me how you can breathe with no air it’s zoro’s fault

- you’re in the star wars verse btw 💀

- “IS THAT A ROBOT FLYING THAT SHIP?!” -you (this is a normal reaction)

“Oooo that guy’s sword is green! I gotta get one of those.” -zoro (this is not a normal reaction)

- “CAN YOU FOCUS??? DRIVE PLEASE!”

- you’re literally abt to get shot to death by lasers and zoro’s talking about lightsabers 💀

- afterwards.. yes. you drove while he took a nap instead. You’ve learned your lesson to never let this mossy bitch drive

- also yes. Zoro got a green lightsaber as a souvenir so don’t worry about him

- believe it or not he’s always drunk when he’s driving (omg it’s so hard to believe ikik)

- but fr he’s always driving while being illegally intoxicated 😭

- since he’s also missing an arm that makes it worse because he has to take his hand off the wheel to do anything else

- “Babe pls keep your eyes on the road.” -you

- “Yeah i got it don’t worry!”

- he doesn’t got it

- he’s swerving all over the place, getting honked at, getting flipped off, and most of all, getting angry death glares from other drivers

- “Hey babe I’m gonna take- a nap.” -shanks

- “Ok.” -you

- …

- “Wait what? SHANKS WTF-“

- bro fell asleep on the horn and made the car start swerving around all over the place. You couldn’t count how many poor trash cans the car ran over 💀

- you tried to take the wheel but his dumb ass was too heavy and big to move out of the way

- “SHANKS WAKE TF UP!”

- you ended up punching him in the nose, making it bleed, and he woke up in a daze. Bro stank ASS. HE SMELLED SO BAD

- bro was RANCID. Smelled like over fermented kombucha and that is not a good smell trust me

- “Oh hey babe what’s going on?” -shanks

- “PAY ATTENTION TO THE ROAD YOU IDIOT-!”

- idk how y’all didn’t crash but you didn’t so-

- you needed some therapy from Benn later but that’s ok 👍

a/n - i chose all bad drivers