#pain. obviously)
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new richard siken how are we feeling
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a glass sun 1/2
#my art#my stuff#this is really fucking long so im gonna have to break it up into multiple reblogs#(howling) WAUGHHHHHHH#i love aishang by xiaoshiguniang#i love to implicate my alma mater in my art about being gay in the shittiest most conservative corner of singaporean society#by some terrible trick of fate i ended up in the conservative chinese christian cishet circuit from primary school to end of hs#obviously i am not most of these things but there i was. Depressed#and there i was after that at Liberal Arts College. the 4 years i spent there were a clusterfuck#but like a good and outrageous and lively clusterfuck#and i graduated in may this year and when i came back it was for the first time in 10 months. it was like. what da hell#like i love being here in specific ways but there is also the pain of being seen as something you're not constantly#can i blame them? i ask myself this every day. for most of my ex classmates and relatives i Am the only not cis person they know#idk my lottery number was bad this corner of society really is that bad#and so its like. idk dawg anyway i aint offering solutions but u get it like it fucks with your head to be misgendered either which way 24/#but to leave them behind would be to leave the only people who knew me for the first 19 years behind. and thats a lot of my life#i am 23!!!!!! ough#anyway. whatever. if u liked it i have a ko-fi#reblogos appreciated
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Yes, yes, Sanji letting Zoro help in the kitchen by letting him chop vegetables because he's good with pointy objects.
BUT. Have you considered?
They live in a world without most electrical appliances. A FUCKTON of physical labor goes into baking (and keep in mind how often Sanji bakes treats for the girls).
Sanji being tired (physically) and not feeling like taking 10 min to whip whipped cream. Being tired (mentally) of Zoro making fun of him for never working out. Sanji saying "fuck it" and just starts putting him to work.
The foccacia dough needs to be kneaded? "Have fun working a sticky mess for 20 minutes, asshole"
Need meringue? "No, STIFF peaks marimo. Don't tell me you're wimping out already"
"Are you even TRYING to flatten that steak Marimo?"
"Yes, it needs whipped cream. YES, I know you just made some yesterday. We need more"
Zoro's shoulders are burning but he's trying SO HARD not to lose face with the cook and meanwhile Sanji is silently losing it at Zoro's shock that cooking can in fact be a workout
#zosan#sanji#zoro#strawhats#op#one piece#this post brought to you by my burning shoulders#i love bread but damn#also i have made whipped cream by hand before#yes it was a complete pain.#would not recommend#i think im gonna start tagging these posts#maybe.....#anime posting#?#good as anything for now i guess#...ok i realize schnitzel isnt baking but my point still stands#also#rereading this#beating meat#stiff#sticky mess#good lord there's just a whole host of innuendo here#obviously this could be platonic too i just automatically tag it as zosan
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oh my god edwin pick a struggle (affectionate)
#finally drew one of my dead boys!!#obviously it had to be a shitpost you know me#edwin payne#edwin paine#dead boy detectives#dead boy detectives fanart#painland#paynland#george rexstrew#the sandman#fanart#my art#userfandomfoundmyart#ffma.draws#steve yockey
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I'm a doctor, not a miracle worker.
[First] Prev <–-> Next
#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#wen ning#wei wuxian#wen qing#jiang cheng#Truly Massive disclaimer here: I am a Jiang Cheng enjoyer. I like his character. I enjoy that he is very flawed and volatile.#This episode of the audio drama has a lot of great breakdown scenes featuring JC - and they all deserve a feature.#But underlying this comic is a small meta comment of 'ah man I have too many comics of JC just wailing sadly'#My goal is to draw 6-8 comics per episode - I sometimes have to truncate and cut good scenes out.#Especially when a large majority is just different flavours of trauma and toxic relationships to your self-worth.#I would also like to make a note here that just because you lose the ability to do something that is very tied to your core identity-#-does not mean your life is over. It will feel like the end of the world. It will send you into a spiral of grief. It will hurt so badly.#Sometimes we do not realize how tied up our identities can be in certain things until we are cut loose.#You don't lose yourself. I promise the pain will fade in time. I promise you will find other things to tether you. I promise you will be ok#Life moves forwards. Time moves forwards. You move forwards.#Ego death just means an opportunity for ego rebirth. You are never committed to being the same person forever.#To wrap this around to JC: Yeah I love the twist with the core transfer but man I would have loved to see JC accept the loss.#Obviously it happens for a reason (story) but I can have my AUs. I can have these 'what-ifs'.#described in alt text#I'm trying it out! *please* give me feedback - I want to eventually Add image ID to all of these comics one day
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("Always. Continuously. With increasing apprehension, and decreasing hope. I will love you if I never see you again, and I will love you if I see you every Tuesday. I will love you as a corpse loves the beak of the vulture. I will love you no matter what happens to you, and no matter how I discover what happens to you, and no matter what happens to me as I discover this." -- paraphrased from The Beatrice Letters, Lemony Snicket)
#svsss#bingqiu#luo binghe#shen qingqiu#lbh#sqq#i've been working through the series of unfortunate events and somehow that series has paired really nicely with svsss#the themes of cycling violence and what's justified and what isn't and what can possibly be done differently#and how trying to bring love and honour into the midst of it really changes nothing but also changes everything#it's just *chef's kiss*#i don't know how i can quite do my thoughts justice but i've spent the past few weeks quietly going between the two series (and mdzs and tg#as well if we're being honest they all hit similar questions and themes) and just reveling in the pain and ambiguity of it#everything is interconnected and it means you can never know what trauma and pain and necessity has shaped a person#each story goes too far back to ever ever EVER possibly see the full extent of it#at that level even communication itself is nearly impossible.#and because of that it's almost impossible to change anything. beat yourself apart and the outcome is the same#and yet ATTEMPTING to change things ATTEMPTING to do the kind thing the honourable thing is absolutely critical#because while you can change nothing you also have the capacity to change EVERYTHING#aaaaaaah i don't even know what i'm saying#but i read the beatrice letters today and the love letter just. killed me.#(obviously i cherrypicked some lines because it's three pages long but those ones felt right)#''i love you like a corpse loves a vulture's beak'' i just. can't get over that line.#to be completely changed. altered. destroyed. redeemed. purified. desecrated. reduced to nothing yet entirely necessary for another's life.#what a FUCKING line#anyway i was either going to blow up from thinking about it or else i had to exorcise it via art from an entirely different series#i've already done svsss and discworld why not throw a series of unfortunate events into the mix#i'll be honest folks i did not expect svsss to be the mxtx series that would fuck me up the most about the main ship#bingqiu is something else. i don't even know how to begin to approach my feelings on it. impossibility and necessity all at once#bizarre#my art
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You don't need to believe that people as a whole are good or well-intentioned to be an optimist about fixing climate change.
A lot of the time, it's enough to trust in this: people hate being screwed over. And even more than that, they hate feeling screwed over.
Climate change is actively screwing over almost every single person on this planet, whether they know it or not. We just need to keep making sure that people do know that they're getting screwed over, along with all their loved ones, and who's doing it.
Spite and righteous anger will honestly do a lot of the rest.
#hope#good news#hope posting#climate change#climate optimism#life#not news#advice#me#human nature#like. obviously this is imho. but also I'm genuinely convinced that I'm right#spite and anger are powerful motivators#there are scientists who argue that anger's whole evolutionary purpose#is to keep us from being screwed over#because that's so vital to our survival#and what's more vital to our survival than a liveable planet???#channel your anger into action#do not let anyone tell you that optimism or being an activist or being part of a healthy community means never being angry#that is so so untrue#and if you find a way to channel your anger and pain and grief to do GOOD in the world#to help people#then that will also do a lot to stop your emotions from eating you up inside#hopepunk#anger#spite#optimism#hopeposting#humanity
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Oh my god I can’t believe I have to say this but:
DISABLED PEOPLE CAN HAVE GOOD DAYS!!
Just because I had one day when the pain wasn’t there for long enough for me to enjoy it doesn’t mean I am suddenly “cured from my issue” or that I don’t need accommodations anymore.
#are you for real#i just told a classmate about going to barre#the enthusiastic response was oh my god are you over your thing#bro what THING#my disability?#because obviously fucking not#then he was like#do you have to do classes online still#im shre if you can do exercise you can come to class#my disability paralyses me with pain on the regular#we found the solution guys#all the years of suffering have come to an end#you just need to go to ONE barre class#chronic pain#chronic fatigue#disability#disabled#disability awareness
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Constantly plagued with thoughts of Edwin now knowing he enjoys being courted and Charles (compulsive charmer) with a whole new arsenal up his sleeve (laser focus on Monty’s whole deal)
“I mean, my smile is prett-y convincing” yeah yeah okay I can see where this is heading. Outlook not so good (for me)
#and the thing is#Charles wouldn’t even be actively or intentionally doing it to woo Edwin. that’s not on his radar what’s he need to do that for.#he’s just Like That#an artist perfecting his art form you could say#Edwin knows! obviously. which is even more satisfying bc#he gets to be on the receiving end of All That AND he gets to be a massive bitch about it#the scathing commentary is directly proportional to how pleased he is#which CHARLES knows#Charles said nothing would change!!! and nothing has they’re still /them/#maybe he’s even working on figuring the rest out. that’s not important.#someone fucking put me down already I am constantly so pained#dead boy detectives#Charles Rowland#Edwin Payne#dbda#don’t think I’ve ever used a ship tag on a post before but hey#payneland#I say hi
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tim drake would rather die than kill innocent people and tim drake killed hundreds of supervillain henchpeople with long-range detonation explosives that one time are two separate headcanons that, contrary to what the fandom discourse would have you believe, can actually coexist at the same time.
there’s even a psychologist term for it.
it’s called compartmentalization!
#let’s be honest#the entire batfamliy “stuffers” from this#and while that’s not something generally talked about#I just find the concept so interesting#how they all justify their actions — both socially moral and socially in-moral — to themselves#particularly how they all justify their actions to themselves in different ways#and for more evidence about their compartmentalization: there’s obviously the fact that they all have superhero and civilian identities too#also#this might need to be a separate post#but#the fandom’s perception of each member of the batfamily as individuals#often read more like they have bought into the characters’s “masks” they wear due to trauma#the “masks” being how the batfam are completely willing to be only perceived as one-thing#because that’s easier than being a real human#with blood and pain and fears and failures#they’d much rather be#the nice one#or the funny one#or the smart one#(etc. etc.)#dc#dc comics#dc characters#batman comics#batfam#the batfamily#tim drake#robin#robin dc#red robin
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Hey can someone remind me that I still need to take breaks even on good days so I don't overwork myself and have more bad days
#not obligatory obviously#chronic pain#chronic disability#disabled#chronic illness#disability#physical disability#ambulatory mobility aid user#dynamic disability#invisible disability#cripple punk#cpunk#queer cripple
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The fact that Xie Lian is often unable to hide his pain from Hua Cheng, like when there's a needle stuck in his foot, is to me what shows most how deep their love for each other goes.
Xie Lian feels so safe with Hua Cheng, so understood, respected and loved, that even his body fully knows it and is unable to hide anything from Hua Cheng because it doesn't feel the need to.
#and this obviously applies to things other than physical pain as well!#i love hua cheng so much. his respect for xie lian's pain means everything to me#and i love that he's willing to go 'against' xie lian if that's what's necessary to protect him from getting harmed#especially because that isn't something hua cheng always likes to do#catching myself automatically unmasking that i'm in pain around certain people (or even almost being unable to mask it all)#is one of the best feelings in the world to me and i loved seeing that in tgcf so much!#i could talk about the topic of pain in tgcf and cry about hualian all day lmao#tgcf#tgcf thoughts#tgcf spoilers#heaven official's blessing#hualian#hua cheng#xie lian#my thoughts#cw pain#cw physical pain#cw chronic pain#cw injury
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Calm morning (view from left to right)
Woke up with the familiar knee pain (it actually woke me up tho) and decided to make a comic inspired by it lmao
Silly Bonus under the cut
#chronic pain#me when the chronic pain#bro I can’t do backgrounds at allll#rottmnt#tmnt#art#rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles#teenage mutant ninja turtles#rottmnt leo#tmnt fanart#I hope the pain is illustrated obviously idk how to word this tag#Raph is here also#he’s just chillin#tmnt leonardo#the kraang#rottmnt krang#rise of the tmnt#rottmnt movie
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Something I've been thinking about over the past week is that Rachel's expectation over whose death would fuck Jake up the hardest vs. whose death actually fucked Jake up the hardest wasn't right, and how that says so much about their characters and how it also hurts really badly.
Now, don't get me wrong: I'm not saying that Jake wasn't affected by losing Tom, because he very obviously was. Tom was his entire reason for joining the war in the first place and part of him held onto hope until the end that Tom could still be saved. And I'm also not saying that Rachel didn't think Jake didn't care about her at all, because that's not true either. She knows Jake does, but that he's doing what he has to do.
But when you think back to the conversation they have when Jake gives her the assignment, and he tells her that he won't have a way out for her, Rachel's concern for him isn't how her death would affect him, but Tom's. "It won't just be the yeerk. It'll be Tom." And while she acknowledges that of course Jake doesn't want her to die in her opening narration in book #54 and is making this call because he has to, at the same time there isn't a sense that Rachel thinks her death is going to be the one to hit him hardest here. It's Tom's, she's sure of it. Emotionally, Jake could afford to lose her, but Tom? That one gives her pause.
But one year after the war . . . again, Jake does still mourn Tom, obviously. He carries the guilt and grief of everything. But one of the strongest images of #54 that has always stuck with me is Jake sitting at Rachel's grave for several hours at a time, after hours, with regularity. It sticks out to me because you know Tom must have had a grave or memorial as well, I'm sure Jake's parents would've had one set up, but in all of Marco's stalking he doesn't see Jake sit and visit with it. Jake doesn't visit Tom. He visits Rachel.
And it just, to me, speaks to a complete subversion of Rachel's expectations, which were predicated on her own perception of how the rest of the team saw her. They "loved [her] in their way" but she was also a monster, blood thirsty, the garbage disposal, the one to do the dirty work. And she was as fine with that as she wasn't. (It was the biggest point of inner conflict for her—the war between her fear and her need to appear brave, her need to protect her friends from the gruesome vs her revulsion at what her actions said and made her out to be, etc.) Jake cared, sure, but also he saw her as a blood knight who might as well die in battle because that was her role, that was what SHE did, better her than anyone else on the team. Jake knew that, it would help him recover from his correct choice, far more than he could ever recover from losing Tom, who—unlike Rachel—was wholly innocent.
But Jake didn't recover. Because yes, he loved Tom and Tom was a wholly innocent victim from day one. And Rachel was overtly aggressive, and reckless, and part of her scared him, as much for her as anything else. But also, he talked to and fought and bled beside her for three traumatizing, agonizing years. They saw the best and worst of each other. Jake left her in charge when he had to leave on that trip. They talked about leadership after, about hard choices, understood each other on a level that would lead to that final choice in the last battle. Rachel couldn't see it because she couldn't see her value in the team as anything other than the brute and garbage disposal, but she WAS more than that, to Jake. She meant so much more to him than that, and it hurts so bad that she didn't realize it.
#animorphs#rachel berenson#jake berenson#tom berenson#again for great emphasis obviously jake cared a lot abt Tom too#but also part of him accepted Tom's loss way beforehand#and tbh by the end of the series he is way closer to Rachel than Tom#purely by circumstance of he's not interacted with Tom for 3 years#but he HAS with Rachel. in the most gruesome of ways#like the fact that it's Rachel's grave he constantly goes to . . . augh. the pain. the agonies#bc she never would have expected it.#tobias? of course. cassie visiting? yeah#jake??? no#anyway
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Ok let's go back to this line from Agatha All Along
"it's underwater! There's a boy. It's a prank. They tricked him. He's gonna drown. it's a bad place. And the people, the family, there's no one to love him! He's got no one!"
Guys we're getting some Tommy lore and it's heart breaking💔 (we knew it would be).
#tommy maximoff#tommy shepherd#guys this is more then marvel comics has given us for his backstory in.... ever#agatha all along#agatha spoilers#do you think someone pulled him out of the water? or did he pull himself out? do you think he remembers or is it like billy?#is there gonna be resentment from tommy cus this is where billy placed him while he got a good family?#and here we go guys! the twin that will see wanda as his Mom! now if she acknowledges that.... eh#in the comics they dont interact but the writers say off panel they have a good relationship#which is something....#the only panel i think of that has tommy and wanda in it by themselves is when hes protecting her dead body#also hes not really there as in mentally cus he JUST WATCHED HIS MOM DIE! like eyeboy and david tried to stop him from her body...#obviously they failed.#no hate to them the writers only like writing tommy in pain
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amanda's comment in journey to babel 'i'm afraid you couldn't pronounce the vulcan name' would annoy jim SO much, he'd find out the correct pronunciation of spock's full name and practice until he got it right and one day they'd be playing chess in comfortable silence when jim out of nowhere slowly says "s'chn t'gai spock" and spock's hand just freezes mid move
#and then he combusts#the end#oh and jim went to uhura to get the pronunciation right#obviously#'i can't trust a computer with this lieutenant'#'i need an expert. you'#and she gossips about it later in the rec room#ahhh i'm in such a mood to write#pain#spirk#k/s#spock#captain kirk#text#star trek#star trek headcanon#star trek the original series#star trek tos#vulcan#s'chn t'gai spock
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