#and for more evidence about their compartmentalization: there’s obviously the fact that they all have superhero and civilian identities too | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

boltwrites · 3 years

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Misfits - Chapter 2

Fandom: Star Wars - Clone Wars / The Bad Batch Pairing: The Bad Batch / Reader (Polyamorous) Rating: M (Rating May Change) Tags: Polyamorous Relationship, Force-Sensitive Reader, Slow Burn

Work Summary: After a year working with the 501st, you've been assigned a new post - Clone Force 99, aka the Bad Batch. You're concerned about the transition - you found it hard enough to fit in with the 501st, and now you had to acclimate to an entirely new squad. As it turns out, the Bad Batch is very accommodating.

Chapter Summary: You're started to settle in with the Bad Batch. Introductions are in order, but one in particular leads down a path you never expected.

read it on ao3 | or read more below

You had said goodbye to Rex only a few minutes prior. He had wrapped you in a tight hug and told you not to get into too much trouble, and you had to try really, really hard not to start crying in front of your new squad. He’d waved as you entered their transport, and instead of dwelling on those emotions – loss, sadness, anxiety – you’d pushed them to the back of your mind. You learned long ago that acting as if they didn’t exist wouldn’t help anything, but right now, you needed to compartmentalize. You hardly knew these men, and you didn’t want to freak them out by sobbing about leaving your best friend behind.

The men in question had since been introduced to you by Hunter. The tall, slender clone who liked to lean against the side of the ship like some half-baked deathstick dealer was Crosshair, a sharpshooter and sniper. You probably should have figured that, judging by the tattoo that encircled his eye. When Hunter introduced you, he had made a noncommittal noise, looked you up and down, and then decided you weren’t very interesting, instead walking his way back to the cockpit. You hoped he was just antisocial, and didn’t hate nat borns, or women, or something.

The big burly one was Wrecker, who had wasted no time in offering you a big smile and a firm clap on the back. Honestly, you thought he was going to hug you – and maybe he was, and then he thought better of it.

“You’re our new Jedi, huh?” he had asked with a broad smile? You offered him a somewhat hesitant one back – he was intimidating, after all. He was broad and muscular like you had never seen on a clone before, and the large scar that encompassed half of his forehead and a good portion of his scalp was distracting. It made him look hardened and dangerous, but with his jovial tone, you soon found out he was anything but menacing.

“Yeah, guess I am?” you answered with a nervous laugh.

“She’s a force-sensitive, Wreck, not a Jedi. She doesn’t answer to the Council.” Hunter had clarified. You were somewhat shocked that he cared about the difference – but, then again, he had seemed pleased that you weren’t a part of the Order, likely because it meant you had less rules to follow.

“Oh, yeah!” Wrecker had grinned, clapping you on both shoulders now, as he leaned down to grin at you. You had laughed a little harder, because you were starting to see now, by both his force signature and in his voice, that he was really just a big goofball. “I never liked the Jedi anyway!”

“Weren’t you just expressing how excited you were for ‘our new Jedi?’”

That had come from the one with the glasses – er, goggles? You weren’t exactly sure what they were, or if he needed them for his bad eyesight or just tactical reasons. Either way, he adjusted him on his face as Hunter introduced him as Tech. It wasn’t difficult to figure out what his specialty was – much like it was easy to deduce that Wrecker liked to punch things in addition to blowing things up. Tech, of course, handled a lot of technical issues and data – but you were actually shocked at the fact that he wasn’t, well… tiny.

Tech was taller than Hunter, and even Rex, as he peered down at you through his glasses. He took your hand and shook it – you could tell just by his grip that he was used to intricate work – robotics, droid work, rewiring datapads – fiddly things that required a steady hand. You had nodded politely to him as he greeted you.

The last member of the team, and perhaps the most elusive, was Echo. He was paler than the others, and studded with prosthetics – most prominently, the jack that his hand had been substituted with. He had an aura about him in the force that spoke of pain – not the pain of war that the rest of the squad exuded, no. This was a deeper pain, something profound and lasting, and you had a feeling it had to do with that arm, and the bolts in his skull, and the way his cheekbones still looked sharper than that of even Crosshair.

“You’re from the 501st?” he had asked, after Hunter had led you to the cockpit and left to look at something in Tech’s travel plans for the route to their next mission. You were alone, but Echo still gazed out the front of the transport into hyperspace, his flesh hand fiddling with the textured armrest of the captain’s chair.

“Yeah – I’ve worked with them for the past year, most of the time. I get contracted out from the unit to do a lot of stealth work that the Jedi obviously can’t be pulled for. Stuff like this, I guess,” you shrugged. Echo had hummed in acknowledgement, glancing at you, almost curious.

“Were you with the 501st when Captain Rex last worked with… Clone Force 99?”

The wording was strange. Rex had mentioned to your that this squad usually referred to themselves as “the Bad Batch” due to their mutations. But Echo was more cautious – he almost hesitated on the name. His force signature didn’t give away much more – it only told you that he was being careful with his words, that he didn’t trust you quite yet. Which, honestly, was to be expected.

“No. Anaxes, right?” Echo nodded, and you shook your head. “No – I was on a stealth mission. Well, I guess it couldn’t really be called a stealth mission… I was working with a pirate named Hondo Onaka. Think I might have rather been on Anaxes.”

You chuckled, trying to make light of it. You knew Anaxes has been a mess, and honestly you had felt horrible leaving behind the 501st in order to take on what you considered a useless political mission. You knew the campaign had been long, grueling, and complicated, and you always felt guilty when you weren’t by Rex and Anakin’s side to help with something so important.

“Ah,” Echo made a soft noise, picking at some scoring marks on his socket arm. You bit your lip at the awkwardness that permeated the room, the conversation stagnating at Echo dwelled on… something.

“I used to be a part of the 501st,” he finally admitted, glancing up at you. His eyes said more than his lips – there was sadness, there. It was hidden behind his soldier’s veneer of indifference, but you could tell by the way he looked at you that his transfer to Bad Batch hadn’t been as straightforward as your own.

“Yeah?” you asked, sitting down in the co-pilot’s chair next to him. He nodded, sighing, relaxing into the chair before shooting you a glance.

“Yeah. Made ARC trooper at one point. Me and Fives – me and Fives.”

His eyes had gleamed the first time he said it – but as he repeated Fives, his face fell, and your own did as well, your first clenching.

“Oh,” you breathed, and he glanced at you, ducking down to try to make out your expression.

“You knew him?”

“He talked about you – I had – I’m stupid,” you laughed, trying not to think about Fives. You hadn’t known him or Tup long before the incident, but Fives had showed you the ropes, along with Rex. You got along with him easily – he had been funny, and kind, and if he tried to flirt with you a few times you just put it up to you being the only woman available.

You remembered him talking briefly about Echo – he had only mentioned Echo once, with gritted teeth and a set jaw, mumbling something about a previous mission, and how he and a fellow ARC trooper had handled the situation. You could tell that it pained him to mention his comrade – that this Echo had likely died – and you didn’t press the subject. You knew, even then, that Fives didn’t deal well with loss. Ironic, then, how he was the one to cause so die, to cause the grief himself.

“I worked with him, before…” you gestured vaguely, and Echo nodded, not wanting you to mention Fives’s death himself.

“He thought I died at the Citadel. Everyone did,” Echo sighed, staring out at the hyperspace lane. “Maybe I did.”

You stared at him. In the force, his emotions were a tangled mess – grief, both for Fives and himself. Pain – not only physical, but emotional, spiritual. You couldn’t fathom what happened to him – you could look at this physical evidence of his cybernetic appendages, more similar to those of a droid than any prosthetics you had seen before. You could see the pallor in his face, the way his cheekbones jut from his face, how he had squinted far too severely in the light of the Coruscanti sun. He had been through something that you couldn’t fathom, something you would never truly understand, even if he did wish to explain it to you.

But despite that, you could still feel him in the force. When he spoke of Fives – the way his signature sparked let you know that he didn’t just know Fives. You could tell they had worked together for years, that they had likely grown up together. The rest of the Batch – their signatures sang in harmony because they had grown up together, because they had known each other for many years. And you initially hadn’t caught onto Echo’s dissonance – the way that he was trying to fit in with them, but how he didn’t fit in quite as easily as the other men. And now you knew why. It was because, while he had changed, he still held onto those bonds. Rex, Fives, the rest of the 501st – even though whatever Echo had endured, those were still his brothers.

“Not completely,” you mumbled, looking down. You could feel Echo’s eyes on you, so you sighed and continued. “You – you still care about them. Those men. They may not be your men anymore – and I guess they aren’t mine, either – but you care for them. That has to count for something.”

When you looked up, Echo caught your eye. His expression was unreadable, and his signature betrayed nothing. He was hard to read already – the cybernetics clouded your judgement – but you could tell that he didn’t exactly know what he thought of your statement.

“Yeah. Maybe it does,” Echo mumbled to himself, staring out across hyperspace, as stars flew by, exploding behind his eyes as he contemplated his place among them.

After that, the silence wasn’t quite so awkward. It was comforting, almost. You knew that it wasn’t the same – that although you and Echo were both former members of the 501st, that the circumstances were wildly different. But you still felt a kinship with him. Because he still knew Anakin, and Rex, and Fives, and Jesse, and Kix, and all the others. Because he probably played the same drinking games you had with the men, he had fought beside them as you did, and he had watched them die, as you had. You knew he wasn’t ready to talk, and perhaps he never would be. But if he ever was, you would be ready to listen.

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taglist (get added!)

@killtherandomness @pastelpanda19

#the bad batch x reader #the bad batch x you #echo x reader #hunter x reader #tech x reader #crosshair x reader #wrecker x reader #misfits #mine

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thephantomessoftheopera · 3 years

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Notes on Gaston Leroux‘s „The Phantom of the Opera“ - Chapter 22: „Interesting and Instructive Tribulations of a Persian in the Cellars of the Opera“

<< Previous chapter

This is a flashback chapter that allegedly reproduces the Persian‘s personal account of his previous interactions with Erik before he and Raoul jumped into the torture chamber. It also provides some background on Erik‘s time in Persia. The Persian’s narrative begins with him stalking Erik in the hope of finding a way into his house. On one occasion, when he has taken the boat to get to the wall where the door of the house is hidden, he encounters the “siren”, one of Erik’s ingenuous defense strategies. The trick of the “siren” is to attract any intruder with its singing (as sirens usually do), so they can easily be snatched and dragged underwater when they are close enough. The “siren” is none other than Erik himself, who is using a reed to breathe and sing underwater - something that he learned from the Pirates in Tonkin, a french colony in northern Vietnam (does anyone else want to see Erik give Jack Sparrow a run for his money🏴‍☠️??). He recognizes the Persian just before he can drown him, and drags him to the shore instead, where he tells him that he does not want his presence in his house.

Apparently, when the Persian saved Erik’s life in Persia, he made him promise that he would not commit any more murders. Therefore, he wants to know if Erik was involved in the fall of the chandelier, but Erik denies it, saying that it was badly worn, and that he didn’t make it fall. It’s hard to know if Erik is lying or speaking the truth here - we naturally assume that it was his doing in the context of the novel. However, as the chandelier’s counterweight falling was a real event which happened in 1896, killing one person, all we know is that most likely, it did in fact fall without someone actively dropping it - unless you assume that a real ghost had a very real hand in making the accident happen.

Erik‘s brand of violence in general is a very artistic and impersonal one, which helps him separate his crimes from himself and focus on the art instead of the crime. When the Persian reminds him of the „Rosy hours of Mazenderan“, it is evident that he wishes to suppress those memories, sadly stating that he tries to forget about them, but that at least „he made the little sultana laugh“. Another indication of this mental compartmentalization is Erik‘s occasional use of „illeism“, i.e. referring to himself in the third person. This illustrates the „feeling of "being outside one's body and watching things happen", a psychological disconnect resulting from dissonance either from trauma such as childhood physical or sexual abuse, or from past outbursts that cannot be reconciled with the individual's own self-image.“ I think we can safely say that in Erik‘s case, both factors come into play. Erik was traumatized practically from birth - we don‘t really know about any physical abuse, but in any case, he was emotionally and mentally abused from his earliest childhood (a lack of affection is crippling to a child’s development). Disassociating himself from his crimes then serves as a coping mechanism for him. In his speech, he actually uses the first person far more frequently than the third person, though.

The Persian‘s insistence on controlling Erik‘s behaviour is due to him feeling responsible for any crimes he might commit since he saved his life, and it seems that he regards him as a mixture between an unruly child and a very dangerous animal. Later, we will learn that it was in fact the Persian who brought Erik to Persia in the first place, thus probably also feeling some responsibility himself for whatever Erik did there, and whatever he might do in the future. It is important though that Erik and the Persian - as chief of the Mazenderan police - were both in the employ of the Persian rulers, and those were allegedly far more monstruous than Erik himself, perverting his genius in a way that served their cruel ideas of entertainment.

Throughout his account of the story, the Persian usually calls Erik a „monster“ and always fears that Erik will go through with his threat against „many members of the human race“. He has been spying on Erik and Christine during their lessons, but cannot believe that Erik‘s voice would be „enough to make her forget his ugliness.“

When he witnesses the progression of the relationship between the two, and that they are now seeing each other, he once again tries to stop Erik when he is on his way out to go shopping for Christine, on the morning after the first night she spent at his house. For those who wonder how Erik was able to go out and run errands, here is the resolution: when he went out, he wore a papier-mâché nose with a mustache attached, which would hide the fact that he had no nose - which is apparently his most horrible feature. The fake nose made him „almost bearable“ to look upon, so he was able to go out without wearing a full-face mask.

Erik is angry at the Persian for constantly following him around, endangering his secrets, and threatens that terrible things would happen should he be betrayed. He mentions the mysterious „man in the felt hat“ again, speaking of how he had to take the Persian to the managers twice, and that he himself was there, too. Unfortunately, this is not any more conclusive than before, as Erik usually speaks of his alter egos (the siren, for example) as if they were separate entities.

The Persian insists that he has come for Christine and accuses Erik of keeping her as a prisoner (which is not really true at this point, as he offered her her freedom the night before, and she hasn‘t unmasked him yet). Erik makes the Persian promise to leave him alone if he can prove that Christine loves him for himself by coming back to him of her own free will, and the Persian agrees because he thinks that no one could love „that monster“ Erik for himself (which is kind of a sad thing to think…).

He is therefore reasonably amazed when he sees Christine freely come to and leave Erik’s house, but concludes from observing Christine‘s and Raoul‘s engagement game that Erik „occupied her mind by terror, but her heart belonged wholly to Raoul de Chagny“. Now, as we‘ve seen through Raoul‘s eyes and Christine‘s own account, it was not as simple as that. While terror was definitely in the mix, Christine herself said she cared more about Erik’s tears than his threats, and despite her fears, was unwilling to hurt him and run away until it was too late. Therefore, I personally don‘t think that the Persian has much authority to speak of Christine‘s heart, especially since he does not seem to know her particularly well.

The Persian still intends to find the entrance into Erik’s house and one day, watches Erik enter it through the third cellar. The house is apparently not soundproof, as Erik’s music can still be heard in the cellar above, but obviously no one knows where this “ghost music” is coming from.

He then recounts the events of the day of Christine’s abduction and how he briefly considered preemptively denouncing Erik („the monster”) to the police, but chose not to do so because no one would believe him. He then provides several details from Erik’s backstory: how he learned to use the punjab lasso in India, how he fought as a type of gladiator armed with only the lasso for the amusement of the sultana of Mazenderan in Persia, and how he worked as a contractor for Charles Garnier and was therefore secretly able to build his house into the foundations of the opera during the Franco-Prussian war and the siege of Paris from 1870 to 1871, while official construction work on the opera house was suspended. The house is located between the inner and outer casing that was built to contain the water in the underground lake, presumably towards the western side of the building and roughly on the level of the fourth cellar.

Upon finding himself in the torture chamber, the Persian recognizes that it is the same type of chamber that Erik had built in Mazenderan, and which was used for the execution of prisoners (and occasionally, random people as well) by the sultana. He also concludes that Joseph Buquet must also have been trying to follow Erik and had fallen into the torture chamber where he hanged himself, and that later Erik must have moved the body and hung it on the set piece from “Le Roi de Lahore” (which basically translates to “The King of the capital of the Punjab” - did I mention he has a twisted sense of humour??). But as the lasso, being made of catgut, might have aroused suspicions, he apparently decided to get rid of it somewhere else.

Now, upon finding the lasso at his very feet, the Persian’s fears rise and he tries to get Raoul to stay silent and motionless so as not to alert Erik of their presence in his house...

Next chapter >>

#phantom of the opera #lerouxreadingguide #leroux phantom #gaston leroux #erik the phantom #the persian #raoul de chagny #opera ghost #the phantom of the opera #le fantôme de l'opéra #erik x christine

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plaidbooks · 4 years

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SFW Alphabet - Nick Amaro

Requested by no one, but whenever I’m stuck on a fic, I seem to turn to headcanons, so here we are. I hope y’all enjoy some Nick headcanons!

Taglist: @the-baby-bookworm @beccabarba @thatesqcrush @itsjustmyfantasyroom @stardust-fray @permanentlydizzy @infiniteoddball @ben-c-group-therapy @glowingmess @whimsicallymad @lv7867 @storiesofsvu @cycat4077 @barbasimp

(gif by @dwaynepride)

A = Affection (How affectionate are they? How do they show affection?)

Nick’s pretty affectionate—he likes to sit with you on the couch after a long day, arm wrapped around your shoulders. His love language is words of affirmation, so he’s constantly giving you compliments and telling you how much you mean to him. He also loves massaging you, whether your neck, shoulders, back, or simply your calves.

B = Best friend (What would they be like as a best friend? How would the friendship start?)

Nick’s always there for you if you need him. He’s mastered the art of listening to you vent and rage, or just sitting with you in silent comfort, whichever you need. You met Nick while at the park—he was with one (or both) of his kids, just a bonding day, playing. You were walking your neighbor’s dog at the time, and the kid(s) became enamored with it, asking to pet and play with it. The dog needed a good run, and what better way than with a child? So, you let it off the leash, and you and Nick idly chatted while watching them play. You quickly exchanged numbers, so that the kid(s) and dog could play again some time (and so Nick could have an excuse to talk to you)

C = Cuddles (Do they like to cuddle? How would they cuddle?)

Nick likes to cuddle on the couch, but more so in bed. The only problem with cuddling on the couch is that one or both of you have to get up too often. In bed, however, he can hold you close to him for hours, his nose nuzzled against your neck.

D = Domestic (Do they want to settle down? How are they at cooking and cleaning?)

Nick’s always been in a relationship—he doesn’t know how to not be. That being said, he hates cooking. He does it (and does it well), but it’s his least favorite thing to do. As for cleaning, he’s a bit of a neat-freak. He’s gotten Zara good at cleaning up her own mess (though her room is a different story), and he’s on top of messes in the house. He’s quick to clean anything that happens, and knows how to mix chemicals safely and effectively to clean any stain.

E = Ending (If they had to break up with their partner, how would they do it?)

Nick would keep his cool, collected façade the whole time—in person, of course. But, as soon as he’s alone, he breaks down crying. He’d be civil about it, making sure to get your things back to you quickly and efficiently so that you don’t have to go to his place.

F = Fiance(e) (How do they feel about commitment? How quick would they want to get married?)

After Maria, he’s a little wary about marriage. He doesn’t want to make any mistakes again, so he’ll take it slow. He’d make sure you were really the one before proposing, and even then, he’d wait to marry you. And unless you were really into a big wedding, he’d probably just take you to a small chapel, with his mom, Zara and Gil, and your family as witnesses. But he doesn’t necessarily believe you have to be married to be in love.

G = Gentle (How gentle are they, both physically and emotionally?)

For the most part, Nick is gentle as can be. Because of his upbringing, he knows what it’s not to not have that. Though, sometimes work can get to be too much, and he’ll come home pissed, yelling and screaming. Once his anger passes, however, he’s apologizing profusely, holding you and caressing you gentler than ever. Even so, no matter how mad he gets, he’d never think to raise a hand to you.

H = Hugs (Do they like hugs? How often do they do it? What are their hugs like?)

Nick loves hugs, even if he won’t admit it. He’ll hug you on days you need it, rubbing your back and resting his head on yours. And on days he needs it? He won’t ask for a hug, but if you do hug him on rough days, he fucking melts against you. Sometimes, he forgets how much love and affection can be in such a soft touch, especially if he’s expecting something rougher, more violent.

I = I love you (How fast do they say the L-word?)

It takes him a little bit to say it, but he shows it quickly. It’s evident in everything he does. And after he finally mutters it to you, it’s as if he’s seeing a door that was painted the same color as the walls. Of course, he loves you! Why didn’t he say it earlier? No matter, now he has all the time in the world to make it up to you, saying it constantly.

J = Jealousy (How jealous do they get? What do they do when they’re jealous?)

Nick is the epitome of jealous. He trusts you, sure, but he doesn’t trust anyone else. If a man so much as looks at you for too long, Nick will wrap himself around you, pulling you in for a dominating kiss. And if it’s a friend/coworker looking at you? Well, then that just means Nick has to take you home and mark you as his, so that those prying eyes will see his mark on your neck.

K = Kisses (What are their kisses like? Where do they like to kiss you? Where do they like to be kissed?)

Nick’s kisses as rough and dominating, yet somehow tender and full of passion. His lips are soft against yours, his hands cupping your face, neck, hips, ass, pulling you closer to him. But his tongue is in your mouth, massaging yours, leaving you completely breathless by the time he releases you. Besides on the lips, Nick loves kissing your hands/knuckles/arms. He watched Tom ‘n’ Jerry as a kid, and saw that one episode(s) where Tom kisses the girl cat from hand up her arm to her face, and he loves doing that to you, especially because it makes you giggle.

Nick has a ticklish neck and loves when you kiss/nibble his neck/throat. It makes him laugh and he feels so warm and loved. And if you mark him? He plays it off as if he’s embarrassed, but he secretly loves it.

L = Little ones (How are they around children?)

Nick’s the best dad! He has infinite patience with both his kids, never getting mad with them. Yes, he can be strict with them, but that’s only to make sure they’re taught right. He’s also never too tired after work or on days off to play with them, or read a bedtime story (for Zara). His only downfall is that he can’t be around them more. Nick also embarrasses them both with the worst dad jokes.

M = Morning (How are mornings spent with them?)

On days that he works, Nick Is up early, making sure Zara is ready for school (if he has her). Then he’s shaved, dressed, and ready for work. He makes breakfast for both of you (and Zara, if she’s there), and then is on his way.

On his days off, and without Zara, Nick will stay in bed with you, waking you up with sleepy morning sex. If he can get away with staying in bed until noon, he will. Otherwise, he’ll get up and ready for whatever he needs to get done that day.

N = Night (How are nights spent with them?)

Sometimes, Nick needs to be held. When the cases are bad, or when he wakes up in the middle of the night from nightmares of his childhood, he’ll sob softly against you while you cuddle with him, telling him how much you love him.

Other nights, Nick will take you to bed and spend half the night rememorizing your body, the noises you make. He’s gentle, tender, whether you have sex or not. If not, he’ll just caress your skin with his big, warm hands, massaging you muscles slowly. And if you do have sex, then he’s slow, loving, his touch tender against you.

O = Open (When would they start revealing things about themselves? Do they say everything all at once or wait a while to reveal things slowly?)

Nick’s pretty guarded—he’s been hurt before and is afraid to be hurt again. He’ll tell you important things first, like that he has two kids, and that’s divorced, but you won’t learn about either mom for months. He’ll also tell you he’s a detective, but he won’t tell you what department, nor what kinds of cases he gets. He compartmentalizes his work life and his home life. It’s not until he gets super defensive around his kids that you can put two and two together.

P = Patience (How easily angered are they?)

Surprisingly, Nick’s not easily angered…at least in his home life. He’s quick to anger if his children or family are threatened, but otherwise, he’s pretty chill. That being said, things at work, and his conversations with Maria, can get under his skin easier than anything else. But once he blows off some steam, he’s pretty quick to apologize, making it up to you or anyone else that was a recipient of his verbal lashings.

Q = Quizzes (How much would they remember about you? Do they remember every little detail you mention in passing, or do they kind of forget everything?)

Nick’s brain is a steel trap. He remembers most things, even little details you didn’t think were important. Sometimes, though, he gets his facts a little mixed up (“I thought you said you loved ranch?” “Yeah, only as a dipping sauce, not as a salad dressing”). But he obviously tries, and you’re shocked that his years as a father didn’t completely destroy his brain.

R = Remember (What is their favorite moment in your relationship?)

Nick got called in on his day off, and his mother was busy. In desperation, he called you to watch Zara, which you happily accepted. You had a great day with her, and she loved hanging out with you. When Nick finally came to pick her up, she didn’t really want to leave. “Can I come stay with Auntie [y/n] again? I love her!” Zara said. Nick picked her up, holding her against his side, heart swelling. “Uh, I don’t know. Would you like—” “I’d love to watch Zara again. Anytime,” you replied, and Nick fell completely in love with you at that moment.

T = Try (How much effort would they put into dates, anniversaries, gifts, everyday tasks?)

Nick tries to make every date special, he really does. But if he had a dollar for every time he got called away halfway through a date, then Zara would be able to afford college no problem. If you’ve been dating for a long time, then he’ll slowly start giving up—though, he’d be sure to do at least something special that night. Gifts are always special with Nick—he puts extra thought into every single one, and they’re all incredibly touching.

U = Ugly (What would be some bad habits of theirs?)

Nick relies on takeout too much. Man hates cooking, and since he doesn’t have Zara 24/7 anymore, he doesn’t eat super healthy anymore. Which isn’t a problem for him—he goes to the gym and works out. It’s becoming a problem for you though. He also tends to turn to alcohol if he’s had a bad day.

V = Vanity (How concerned are they with their looks?)

Nick is well shaven and keeps good hygiene. It’s not that he’s concerned with his looks, it’s just simply taking care of himself. Sometimes, he’ll let the scruff grow out into a neatly trimmed beard, mostly because he knows you love it. But this man was slumming in Narcotics for a bit—he doesn’t care what he looks like, as long as he’s dressed for the correct occasion.

W = Whole (Would they feel incomplete without you?)

Once you’ve joined his family, you’re a part of the Amaro clan. It’s not so much that he would feel incomplete (though he would), but he wouldn’t know how to tell Zara. Poor girl has already had so much heart break in her short life; she doesn’t need to deal with that again.

X = Xtra (A random headcanon for them.)

Nick loves watching cartoons with Zara. He’ll sigh and roll his eyes when she picks out a movie or show to watch, but he sings along with the opening credits, and has matching shirts with the characters on them with Zara (you are to never tell anyone that). You once came home while Nick was off and Zara with her mom, and he scrambled to change the channel from Spongebob to sports, but you had already caught him red-handed.

Y = Yuck (What are some things they wouldn’t like, either in general or in a partner?)

Nick will never be with someone who’s abusive, whether verbally, emotionally, or physically. While he understands venting and releasing pent up anger, he’s dealt with that for too many years of his life to deal with it from a partner. And if you so much as looked at Zara or Gil wrong, you’re done.

Z = Zzz (What is a sleep habit of theirs?)

Whether it’s paternal instincts or because he’s been in a relationship so long, you don’t know, but if you and Nick are in bed together, he’s touching you. More often than not, he’s wrapping his limbs around you, holding you close. It’s only rarely that his back will be pushed against you. No matter how hot it is in the room, Nick is on you.

#nick amaro x reader #sfw alphabet #law and order svu #my writing #have you ever come up with a random af headcanon?#then just fucking doubled down?

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katsidhe · 4 years

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7.02 final thoughts? (Idk if this one has been requested yet)

7.02 Final Thoughts

*rubs hands* Ah, yes, the episode that got me into SPN. I could talk forever about season 7.

Fun drinking game: take a shot every time someone makes a different colorful idiom about Sam being insane. Hint: you’ll die, because I counted 25.

(I WONDER WHY Sam didn’t want to tell Bobby or Dean about his active symptoms of psychosis. Truly, a mystery for the ages.)

Even setting Hallucifer aside, this episode highlights so many of the things I high-key LOVE about season 7: the erosion of Sam and Dean’s support network (as tenuous as that already was)—take away Bobby’s house, take away angelic healing, take away the Impala, make them vulnerable and alone and crumbling under the weight of the trauma they’ve accumulated. The broken leg, Sam’s head injury and seizure in the ambulance? Strapped down, badly injured, the fates of their friends uncertain, headed into the belly of the beast? ICONIC. Over the top. Amazing.

It’s a similar kinda thing to Jody’s predicament—sure, she’s capable enough ordinarily, but if you give her surgery and drug her and leave her alone in a hospital with a liver-eating monster on the prowl, the stakes look a lot different, don’t they? I’ve seen this episode approximately one gazillion times but every time I get tense for her.

Quick thoughts on the Leviathans, which have a reputation as an underwhelming SPN villain. Perhaps because of how unsubtle and half-baked they are as metaphor for corporate greed/capitalistic consumption, perhaps because of how their promise of truly terrifying Old Ones, Cthulu-esque devourers, never quite came true (except for a bit in 7.01 and 7.02, yikes!). But honestly I’ve always liked them—I like how their organization and assimilation of knowledge drives the Winchesters deeper underground than even the Apocalypse did; I like how they made the Winchesters’ entire world into something mundanely unsafe and miserable; I like how they showcase the horror of a enemy composed of lockstep drones, the way that Heaven (and Hell, sometimes) tries to be, but never truly manages; I like Dick Roman’s gleeful ravenousness; I like their spooky mouths; hell, I even like the Dick jokes.

Bobby’s solicitousness towards Dean, and how awkwardly he talks to Sam a little later in the episode, is very emblematic of how bone-deep uncomfortable he is around an honest-to-God mental illness, and, well, around Sam’s issues in general. Which doesn’t make him a bad person, or unsupportive, necessarily. But it’s very evident that he’s got no clue what to say to Sam or how to handle him, that he’s leagues more comfortable dealing with Dean’s problems (as has often been the case regardless of Sam’s mental health).

A related, but separate point: the lengths the show goes to to emphasize “look, Dean’s not okay,” while Sam’s in the middle of a psychotic break… It baffles me a little every time I see this episode, when Bobby walks away from Sam all “yyyyeah I gotta go do some work” and then is immediately all “ok but Dean, how are YOU feeling?” It’d be one thing if Dean weren’t emotionally demonstrative, and if Sam were—if Sam, at this point in the episode, was so obviously struggling to such a painful degree that Bobby wants to make sure Dean’s not overlooking his own reactions. But that’s not really the case. Apart from some flinching, Sam’s been very matter-of-fact about the whole thing so far.

This is our first deep-dive into Sam post-Cage, a full season about he returned. And I love it to pieces, you guys. I love how these inescapable, soul-deep consequences are the inevitable answer to the moral of Sam’s story, where he interred himself with his worst nightmare, forever.

Dean after Hell is clawing for moral high ground. Dean focuses on this bleak kind of virtue, this idea of martyrdom and righteous struggle that eventually unspools and reveals itself to be fundamentally unmoored. He needs some kind of redemption for himself after what he was forced to do in Hell; he needs to own his destiny, and he needs that destiny to be meaningful and good, and he channels his violence outward in that cause.

Sam does not take any kind of high ground. He hurts... himself. He gnaws inward. No illusions about how “messed up” he is—he sidelines himself before Dean or Bobby can say a single word; he figures he needs to be on top of it, needs to get out ahead of the danger he could represent and reassure his family that he knows he’s a hazard. Sam has learned to repress and downplay and hide his traumas and his freakishness both to avoid feeling stigmatized and to avoid being a burden on the people he loves, especially on his brother. So when Dean reacts with fear (understandable) and anger (less so), Sam takes it in stride.

Hallucifer is probably my favorite thing this show has ever done. I could probably write another thousand words on Hallucifer alone—on how Sam’s using this face for coping, for compartmentalizing; both to hurt himself and to keep himself company, to sort through his pain and arrive at a place where it’s at all tenable for him to exist.

Sam’s skepticism about professional mental health treatment—his idea that this is a problem he can handle himself, that a doctor would "just stuff [him] full of pills”—is clearly one born of the family mold. This is his dismissive response to Hallucifer!Dean’s accusation that Sam won’t be able to cut it on his own. This denial, this idea that Sam knows he needs to get a handle on this, and therefore that he MUST do it himself, make a science of it, is fascinating.

On the subject of denial: Hallucifer poses a simple question to Sam: are you sure you got out? And Sam’s NOT sure. Faith that he’s free is yet another maybe-lie that Sam must tell himself with maniacal intensity this season, for the sake of his own sanity, to avoid the voice in his head telling him to shoot himself.

That Scene in the warehouse. Dean’s advice to Sam is to trust in Dean as the cornerstone of his reality. Asks him to build his whole world on his trust in Dean. What choice does Sam have? Who else can Sam rely on? What else can he do? There is no one else, nothing else. There’s only Dean, or Lucifer. It’s a dichotomy. It’s so CHILLING.

Especially in the context of what we know comes next—7.03, where Dean lies to Sam’s face, murders Amy, and uses Sam’s ~insanity~ to defuse Sam’s (justified) anger. And then, season 8, and 9, and 10, and, y’know what, the entire show.

Sam drives his thumb into his bleeding hand, and it’s SPN in a nutshell—forever choosing the claustrophobia of the path of slightly less resistance, forever clinging to the misery of a life that’s only just this side of bearable, burying yourself in the toxic fallout because the alternative is unimaginably nightmarish—using the trappings of free will, of defiance, to choose to claw holes in yourself so that someone else won’t. There is no escape.

Dean’s threat of murder-suicide on the phone is so clearly meant to be sympathetic. And yes, on a certain level it absolutely is; and then on another level, it’s, y’know, MURDER-suicide, where Dean’s taking explicit responsibility for and ownership of Sam’s life, even though Sam’s pretty clearly lucid. Dean’s assuming as a matter of course his ability and right to make that decision for Sam. How Dean views and deals with Sam’s instability in season 7 lays major groundwork for Dean’s willingness to let in Gadreel in 9.01.

#final thoughts #7.02 #sam and lucifer #sam and hallucinations #sam and dean #sam and self-harm #sam and hell #sam and trauma #sam and mental illness #sam and abuse #dean critical #sam and suicide #season 7 more like season HEAVEN #(except that spn heaven sucks ofc and s7 emphatically does not)

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archivistsammy · 3 years

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In my previous post, I talked about how my tarot study group has been working through the Star card this week, and that it’s brought up a lot of really interesting associations and conversations. Many of these have felt deeply relevant to the struggles Sam and Dean face at the beginning of season eight. I’ve already talked about Sam, but now I want to dive into Dean, and then add some final thoughts for the pair of them.

Dean’s situation after the events of the season seven finale is obviously very different than Sam’s. He’s not entirely devoid of family, for even if Cas is missing, he’s still in Purgatory with Dean, and Dean knows he can find him–that he will find him. When we think about the Star in terms of a navigating force, even in terms of hope, Castiel is an obvious fit. Dean’s singular thought in Purgatory is finding “the angel”–even before getting back home and/or returning to Sam. You get the firm sense that Dean would stay in Purgatory forever if that’s how long it would take to get Cas back. Not to mention, the fact that he is literally praying to Cas every day. Talk about a guiding light.

Still, I think Dean’s time in Purgatory falls more into “survival mode” than anything else. Yes, he has a goal and he has a hope–finding Castiel. But if we think of the Star as both the experience of survival and the experience of grappling, then Dean’s still not really functioning in a Star-aligned way. I want to make it clear that, if we think of the Star as following the Tower (we don’t have to! But for now, let’s), then surviving becomes a paramount next step. Survival mode does not have to include hope and/or optimism or deep self reflection. Survival mode means finding a way to make it through the day and start again tomorrow. In times of upheaval, survival mode can be the motivating force. The way we navigate. But while surviving is necessary, it’s not the same thing as grappling. It’s not the same thing as dealing with or processing what came before.

We see this in Dean once he gets out of Purgatory. The way he talks about his time there, the way he describes it as “pure,” like he could be his most authentic self there. That says a lot about how Dean sees himself. “Daddy’s blunt instrument” indeed. And we know, especially given what transpires in 15.18 and 15.19, that at his core, Dean doesn’t want brutal violence to be his defining characteristic. Dean wants to be defined by love and by family. So, what does it mean that Dean comes out of Purgatory seemingly bolstered by what he did there (Cas staying there aside)? What does it mean that when Dean escapes from Purgatory–and ostensibly from the need to stay in survival mode–he continues to operate as if the rest of the world is as ruthless as Purgatory was?

Well, to viewers it might mean that Dean has PTSD. That he’s repressing the trauma of what he experienced by acting even more so as if Purgatory clarified things for him, rather than muddied them. And I’d say we’re all 100% correct. But my point here isn’t that, but rather Dean’s denial of how difficult Purgatory must have been for him is further evidence of his refusal to grapple with anything that makes him ache. Dean never really reflects on himself or his life, he just hides everything away behind a wall made of Scotch tape. Which means that Dean never really heals.

The Star is a card whose central tenet (imo, anyway) is how we heal. How we rebuild after catastrophe or unexpected upset. But seeing Dean after Purgatory never actually process what happened there is demoralizing. Especially in relation to Sam, who is basically doing the same thing. Neither of them properly talks about or works through what happened to them after killing Dick Roman. They just survive, and keep surviving, until they’ve buried their hurt so deep they can pretend it doesn’t affect them.

And I think what really frustrates me is seeing these behaviors in the context of the finale. Knowing that when this series truly ends, Sam and Dean will essentially do the same thing. They defeat Chuck and go back to hunting. Dean dies bloody, like he always thought he would. Despite having faced in “Despair” that what keeps Dean going is love, not violence. “Everything you do is for love,” Cas tells him, and an episode later Dean seems to truly embody this. Not killing Chuck was a supreme act of healing. “The ultimate killer,” Chuck says. “See, that’s not who I am,” replies Dean. And yet, another episode after that, Dean dies in the midst of killing once more, expressing the sentiment that they knew it would always end this way. Where is the Star in this ending? Where is the growth?

And for Sam, I feel the same. One of the trends that we see through the years on this show is the brothers thinking that in order to have an “apple pie” life that’s settled down and absent hunting, they have to reject and excise every part of their life that came before. Put away the jacket, lock away the car, don’t ever talk about what happened. Sam doesn’t seem as rigid about this in “Carry On,” given he and his son have the anti-possession tattoos, that he named his son Dean. The divide isn’t quite as sharp. But I think seeing the Impala locked up, covered up, clearly something he doesn’t touch on a regular basis…that to me is evidence that Sam has once again compartmentalized. That he hasn’t integrated his experiences and his feelings, his grief and his hope. He hasn’t rebuilt in a way that facilitates honoring what was destroyed. And that’s very upsetting to me.

There’s never any healing in Supernatural. The energy of the Star is always blocked, always bitter. But this pain is especially felt in the front half of season 8. It’s a low point for the brothers, and a low point for the show, and it really helps showcase how empty life can feel when we don’t deal with the shit that haunts us. When we don’t meet the energetic expectation of the Star and deal with what hurt us. When we don’t accept what we’ve lost. When we don’t wade through the muddy swamps of grief and anger and sadness. The Star is there to remind us that rebuilding is possible, while also acknowledging that rebuilding is messy, difficult work, and that part of that work is grappling—not just surviving—all that’s happened that’s made you ache.

#supernatural #dean winchester #our meta #supernatural through the tarot #8.1 #s8 #we need to talk about kevin

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popculturebuffet · 4 years

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Star Vs: Total Eclipsa the Moon and Butterfly Trap (Tomtrsopective Interlude)

Hello you beautiful people, and welcome back to the tomtrospective... minus Tom, since as i’ve mentioned a LOT in recent parts of this tribute to eveyrone’s faviorite demon voiced by shawn from boy meets world, realized I hadn’t mentioned that in a while, I”m also covering the metora arc from the second half of season 3, as Tom plays a pretty sizeable roll in it’s climax , the season 3 two part finale Divide and Conquer, and if i’m going to cover what’s essentially an hour long episode i’m going to do it right. It’s why i’m also doing the della arc alongside the Lena arc next month, the latter of which is fully paid for: because Shadow War pays that off too. Even if it makes way more work for me, if i’m going to review something, i’m gonna do it right. So we come to this pair of episodes. First question a lot of you might be having...

To which I say.. I ? We’ll see. The second is that “Why aren’t you covering the bog beast of boggabah?”. Well.. honestly it’s for time constraints. I have a LOT of episodes to cover, my own fault I know but again if you do a job you do it right, and cutting the one that while part of the plot isn’t nearly as essential to anything and ultimately only sticks for one episode character development wise. It’s not bad, almost nothing with Alan Tudyk in it is bad. That’s a fact, that’s a Disney fact.

Point is while I like covering EVERYTHING I can, I do have to draw a line and since this retrospective is about TOM, i’d rather not pile on more episodes that don’t involve him than absolutley necessary. Bog Beast just dosen’t feel NEARLY as much of a necessary detour as these two coming up or Skooled and Tough Love down the line. So with all that out of the way, join me under the cut for a discussion of Eclipsa’s character up to these episodes and the episodes themselves.

Our detour DOES take us right into my OTHER faviorite character in the series, tied with tom and the other character that makes watching the series post battle of mewni, worthwhile: Eclipsa. We’ve mentioned her before obviously but this is the first episode she actually shows up in that i’m covered, and i’m delighted to finally tackle her head on. And the other faviorite thing isn’t an exageration: She’s equal to tom in my heart. She’s just as compelling, just as well acted, and unlike Tom actually gets a decent resolution to her character arc. In fact she’s one of the ONLY characters to get a decent resolution. It’s also at this point her character undergoes a shift. While she dosen’t change as a person that much, before this it was left purposfully vauge if Eclipsa was really.. evil, and possibly the big bad of the season. On the one hand her magic is unquestionably dark and evil even if she isn’t, and while Star wasn’t at all effected by her chapter, Marco went all

For a second before Glossaryck fixed it off screen, and using her “Darkest Spell” left both her and moon with blackened goop on their arms for the rest of their lives. Not only that but she pushed Star into morally dubious actions: Teling her Marco could be her squire simply because she said so, and being the one that encouraged her to explore her butterfly form.

But we also saw her GENUINELY bond with Star, the two relating both on seeing monsters as people, and dating them, and on being reckless, powerful and often looked down upon by Moon for unfair reasons. Something I hadn’t realized but shoudl’ve before this is, for Season 3 at least.. Eclipsa is the mentor star never properly had. Glossaryck, while he did do a decent job from time to time, is just too damn neutral to be a proper mentor, not really carring what happens to mewni or if he even lives or dies, a neglectful attitude that honestly caused a good chunk of Mewni’s problems, never remotely trying to invervene in his protege Solaria’s genocidal campaign against monsters, his children’s growing fantatical racisim, or well.. anything. He just dosen’t care. Moon TRIED to be one, and can be a good mother on occasion.. but the two are exact opposites: Moon is controlled in every aspect of her life and compartmentalizes and structures everything, while Star is pure chaos and impulse. It’s why River has an easier time parenting her, as she got a LOT more of his personality than her mothers, and thus can actually relate to her. Bog Beast shows this off well: He teaches her a lesson Moon probably has tried to a thousand times, to be patient.. but does so on her level with an old family ritual and using a metaphor, rather than trying to drill it into her head. It’s why when he did actually teach her Glossayrck used the same: Star is just not a traditional learner, moon is. And there in lies the problem.. Moon just cannot accept for most of the series that her daughter isn’t like her despite her best efforts or try to see it on her level, and Star dosen’t really try to see it from Moon’s perspective either, though being you know the Child and not the parent, it’s a bit more understandable. Moon has a real hard time seeing other people’s perspectives, and really changing.. and given Star has gone from being a proud racist to realising how horrible her attiude to monsters were in under a year, really is why the two clash so much. It’s something I sadly relate to: While my own dad is not racist, he is a staunch republican, is one of those morons who belives the “Well if trans people can use the bathroom they want then rapists will put on women’s clothing just to enter a bathroom!” bullshit fully, and while he supports gay people myself included did NOT support gay marraige and when I was a teen would often say “Wellt hat’s as valid as me marrying bob” Bob.. is my dad’s cat who hates me for understandable reasons as I was not great with cats when he got him. So yeah I get your parent being an impenetrable brick wall on important issues.

The point is Eclipsa...actually listens to star, agrees to her views and instead of trying to FORCE star to go the way she wants simply guides her, giving her advice and being gentle with her. The two are similar enough that Eclipsa’s advice, good or bad, tends to stick, and that Eclipsa actually cares what Star thinks which Moon does not. But it was hard to gage if she GENUINELY cared or was just playing star. But these episodes shred that ambiguity to pieces, showing that while eclipsa is not without faults.. she’s not evil... and the people who called her that very much ARE. So without further adeu....

Total Eclipsa The Moon:

In the previous episode, Star burst into Moon’s room giving her the revelations of the night. Moon.. did not take it well, both unaware and furious her daughter had a party at the monster temple, refusing to believe her and taking umbrage at Star’s VERY understandable accusation that she sent Rhombulus after them, since he had her royal guards with him, levitating her daughter out of the office.

But what is suprising is that, as this episode opens after brooding a bit and TRYING to get back to work.. Moon clealry can’t get the idea out of her head. You can see the wheels turning: Sure star is impulsive and did falsely accuse her.. but she’s not a liar. While Star hides stuff on occasion.. when she lost the book she came right to her parents to confess, something Moon genuinely appricated. Why would she TRANSPARENTLY make something up? While the trial is close, Star would at least, if sloppily and ucnovncingly try and fake evidence if that was her goal. And while the party isn’t something Moon is happy about it is VERY suspcious Rhombulus didn’t tell her about police action on her terriotry using her own guards involving her daughter, several monsters, and the heirs to every kingdom in the land. So she takes the Royal Lineage book and goes to see Eclipsa.. who made a guitar out of bones because she’s awesome and that’s what you do when you have a lot of itme on your hands and nothing else to do.

She’s casual with Moon, who just assumes she’ll get the answer she wants l, asks her to identify her daughter.. though Eclipsa is taken aback by this. She’s willing to.. she just hasn’t seen her face in thosands of years let alone as a grown woman and assumes she’s dead by now. It’s a very good, very small moment.. and it’s made more striking both by what we learned last episode.. and the fact she has no idea who Festivia is, and knows who her one and only Daughter was: Meteora. And while Moon does bring up that her name just could’ve been changed... Eclipsa shoots that down.. Meteora had clover cheeks and “The cutest little tail”. Moon asks how this even makes sense and Eclipsa’s response is absolutely wonderful “When a queen and a monster love each other very much...”. Before we can get to the sexy details Moon then clarifies that she’s confused how she didn’t know about this and wants answers, though she still keeps Metora still being alive a secret for now.. but it’s understndable as Moon still dosen’t trust Eclipsa, and dosen’t want to risk her trying to escape to find her right before the trial. Eclipsa tells her there is one place they could get a solid answer, the archives, which are in the commission building, though Moon apparently doesn’t have access..despite being queen. You think she would’ve questioned that by now given the name.

But Moon plans to go, and refuses to take Eclipsa along.. but is swayed when Eclipsa genuinely not only accepts it.. but sadly and without any hint of manipultion and with pure honesty asks her to tell her what happened to her daughter. And for the first time... Moon sees Eclipsa as not the boogeyman history wrote her as.. but just another mother desperatley looking for her child and finding out history covered her up and she may never know what happened to her. So we next cut to the magical high comission building, where we see Shawn, the security guard, deer man and bumbling doofus, who ends up not scanning moon when the magic detector, basicallyu a metal detctor, goes read because she terrifies him out of it. And yeah.. good point she is on the comission he really shoudn’t have to do that. Though I like the sublte hints with this and the archives that the comission have slowly creeped up in thier authority: while the queen is still granted a seat at the table.. she’s not given ALL the toys in the box despite that not really being fair given how much sway the comission has in mewni politics. But naturally Moon has snuck eclipsa in and even more naturally is nearly having a panic attack over breaking the rules. But she dosen’t have time for that and asks Eclipsa where the archives are.

She’s not tricking moon or anything though: It’s been thousands of years and the comission building has changed vastly, when she was around the archives were just a stone hut off to the side. That gives Moon an idea and they find a stone wall in the storage room, which Eclipsa activates in her own weird and endearing way. This also shows off the one trait that seperates Eclipsa from star: Star usually just does random things because. While Eclipsa isn’t IMUNE to this usually when she does something weird it’s specifically to acomplish something, she’s just using her own unique methods. LIke here she rubs her back against the stones and what not.. ut it gets the door open. Unfortuntely our heroines then run into Shawn who being a natural narc, runs off ot tattle before Moon cuts him off. Eclipsa insists they zap his memory and only hasn’t for a crucial reason: she can’t do magic without a wand. It’s an intresting and understandable reveal: like star she just relied on the wand for it and never learned how to do her spells without it as she never really needed to.. and even now she dosen’t. While her magic COULD help her escape.. she has no intrest in escaping since it’d only hurt star and even a sham trial will still make her a martyr for mosnter kind and prove Star’s point she’s not a bad person. Even if she looses she wins. So she simply had no reason to relearn it and likely figured correctly doing so might just rouse further suspicon or get her locked in chains or other nonsense and given she can, if unbenownst to moon, wander the castle freely via the secret passages.. she’s really not bothered by house arrest. Moon of course dosen’t want to.. but in a great gag ends up doing so by mockingly saying “Memory eraser gun” and making a gun gesture with her hand.. and ends up actually doing that as a result. They put the comotose magic outside. And this scene is a great character bit to me for both characters: It shows off a bit flaw for each character: For moon it’s that she lacks the ablity to improvise. She can and has created magic but is so orderly and regimented it has to be percise and she dosen’t grasp just HOW easily a spell can be created simply by imagining it. She lacks the pure raw creativity and talent of her daughter and supposed ancestor.... but makes up for it in what she calls eclipsa out on: restraint. While Moon has ENTIRELY too much, serioulsy the stick is so far up her ass she can see it when she talks, it’s not itself a bad thing, and using it recklessly and irresponsibly, as the suplmental big boook of spells shows, without thought or without proper preperation can have devistating consequences. Skywinn, one of the past queens and the first in the book, destroyed an entire dimension simply by letting loose far too much, while Rhina, Moon’s great great grandmother, acccidently kileld her abusive husband because her heartbreak spell was a bit too literal. Power is fine and all. but you have to control it. It’s why Xavier’s School Existed before he decided to take all the kids to an island because humanity suck so much: you need to learn to use your pwoer responsibly and eclipsa never did. She can contorl it perfectly as we’ll see.. but she also dosen’t think of the implications of what she does with it, she just does and to hell with the consequences. And that’s really her whole problem: She acts mostly on impulse without thinking, and it’s had bad consequences.. though ironically her fleeing with Globgor, as said book wonderfuly outlined.. was NOT a rash or impulse decision but a VERY hard one where she was stuck between keeping the crown and pleasing eveyrone.. or fleeing with her lover, being happy and taking care of a serious threat to the kingdom as a whole WITH him, but knowing it might not end well.. and sadly it did not. Eclipsa does show her skill though once agian, having made up a silly song to rmemeber where to go and since the archives haven’t been touched and are about the same, easily leads them in. Though once they reach the door they can’t open it, but Eclipsa has a solution: A rat hole. “It’s so gross in here” she says delighted. Moon isn’t happy about it but agrees to it.. but her ass gets stuck.. and that’s not me being crude or making a joke her ass literally gets stuck and Eclipsa has to go for help but takes an hour, long enough for a spider to hypnotize moon and steal her crown and for moon to question trusting her.. before Eclipsa returns. And this is what cements what I was getting at: Before there was clear ambiguity in “Is eclipsa the villian or not”. Here.. it’s gone. She has shady powers and her morals are flexable.. but she’s still a kind, loveably weird woman and it’s obvious by this point her reputation as evil was horribly exagerated, and primarily brought on by racisim. And moon’s realizing it too. They find the archives, which is a cool concept: magitek hands that record everything that happens to a royal, even showing some of what’s going on right then in the other plot. Moon quips that this actually really would’ve helped with the trial, but apologizes for it showing that she’s slowly realized what Star knew from minute one and what I just mentioned: Eclipsa is not a bad person. She’s flawed, but she’s not evil or some nightmarish destroyer of worlds.. she’s just a batty 40-50 something woman who dosne’t think through her actions.

Eclipsa does explain it probably wouldn’t of done moon good, as it’s near impossible to find anything unless you know where to look.. which makes perfect sense. The scroll records every queen’s every actoin every minute of every day. Even summarized that’s like trying to sift through footage of eveyr minute of your life. Even sped up, it’d take weeks or months or even years to find something without knowing where exactly to look. Thankfully Eclipsa does.. but finds the Scroll has been offered as the “Daughter of queen eclipsa nd king shatacan” is sewn in there as festivia.. literally.. like part of the scroll was ripped out. And as close friend, endless resource and tom expert bar none @jess-the-vampire pointed out to me when I asked for her imput on these ones, that makes no sense as the two never had a daugther and I feel they just didn’t think that through. Plot hole aside.. it’s VERY clear someone has tampred with the archives and if Moon wasn’t already questinoing if Eclipsa was really bad this clinches it: Someone ERASED one of her family from history and hid the truth even from them. And Moon’s going ot get answers.. after our heroes run from the security system, get the crown back and BARELY escape with the scroll before the comission catches them.

Back at the castle Eclipsa is disgraught over her daughter and Moon clinches their new bond by revealing she might still be alive... Moon might not KNOW if Star was telling or even knew the whole truth.. but she knwos something is going on and she’s going to find out. And whiel she may not know everything.. she has a damn good idea who did this.. .and says so just as star comes in from her adventure, having learned patience. Cue the credits. Final Thoughts: This was a fun one, with Moon and Eclipsa having a delightful odd couple dynamic, the regminted overly serious and overly stuffy moon with the wild and reckless and charmingly weird eclipsa is just a great dynamic and endlessly entertaining and I wish the show had done more with it before what’s about to happen but what we got was great and minor plot hole mentioned aside, the reveal only deepens the intrigue for what’s next.. so speaking of which...

Butterfly Trap: Here. We. Go. One of the series best episodes, if not it’s BEST. Oh me mow i’m excited.

We open with the long set up trial of Eclipsa Butterfly.. and as you’d expect by a trial by a jury of her enimies, the comission mostly sees this as a formality outside of Moon. Sean is excited though, he gets to bring out the typey thingy. Usually Rhombluus just crystalises them.

Yeahhh... the show never properly deals with Rhombulus’ tendency to imprison first ask questions never or gets any of his victims, i.e. the ones he probably had less reason to crystal up not ones who were eating universes or whatever , free. But this is the LEAST of the dropped threads from this one. Point is this isn’t a remotely fair trial.. as hammermed in by the fact Hekapoo is upset and confused that Star is here too. Moon wants her to see eclipsa got a fair trial. Also Rhomblus wants her DEAD, but the others shot him down on this. HIs reasoning , for him, is suprisingly good: crystalising her didn’t work last time and implicilty given star likes her star could just order her freed when she’s queen. But I get their reasoning: Killing her would only make her a martyr to monsterkind, and to Star who probably woudln’t listen to or respect them EVER again. And Moon still wanted that when she started the trial. So while clearly a sham this does crystalize, pun unitended, how corrupt the comissoin is. Their holding a trial with no jury, no witnesses, not that most are alive but some are, and with everyone CLEARLY thinking she’s guilty before it starts... and no one questioned it. This is even unusual as they rarely have an actual trial. And it’s about to be revealed to be a WHOLE lot worse.

So the trial begins and Moon brings out the evidence, which is oddly disorganized given how much work she was putting in before, and ismostly secondhand accounts and interviews and their going to have to just sit there and sort through it all, which NONE OF THEM, especially rhomblus are happy about “THIS SOUNDS LIKE MATH!”

But Eclipsa has a simplier, if much more risky suggestion: Trial by Box. While Moon points out this isn’t great for her as the box is merciless and will not take lies, but Eclipsa counters rightly that she has nothing to hide. ANd honestly again given the commission are clearly out for her blood.. this is the only way she gets anything resembling a fair trial. Resembling being the key word. This is the most clearly rigged trial i’ve seen since that time Batman’s villians kidnapped him and put him on trial with joker as the judge.. good episode though.. and THAT was even a more fair trial as they actually gave him a lawyer and let him go when she made a convincing enough case.

So the box is brought out, and it turns out to be the truth or punishment cube from season 2. Which Moon insists isn’t a party game.. despite the fact a bunch of teenage girls easily got one and it has a setting for that when moon grabs it. Along with, in a really great bit, settings for Bachelorette (All right ladies!) and Intervention. Know someone who could use that honestly.

So the Comission ask their questions. We start with Rhombluus who asks if she wrote the “Evil Chapter” in the book of spells. Eclipsa dosen’t deny it but ponits out THEY labeled it that, Star rightly points out none of htem have actually read it moon included, and Eclipsa.. shoves her foot in her mouth by pointing out she’s made FAR WORSE spells that didnt make the cut. “Writing is rewriting you know”. Love this woman.

So next up is Hekapoo who asks if she abandoned her husband to run off with Globgor. Well they dont’ use his name because end of season plot twist but still. Eclipsa not only firmly doesen’t deny it but fondly caressses the projection of him “Hello sweetie”. Hekapoo marks her down with evil for this which... Jeff if you would?

Thank you. Not only is this racist bs that star perfectly destroyed earlier in the season, as the comission themselves are monsters in all but category, but the spellbook makes this so much worse. As I said for once Eclipsa .. wasn’t being impulsive. She was torn between duty and love and choose love, and even then partially did so to prevent the septarians from wiping out both the rest of monster kind AND mewmans. And Shastacan, was a massive dick, who took her not being in love with him like he was with her as a sign to throw her monster child away as we’’ll see and rightfully got eaten for it. I know this is all obvious stuff but it’s hard not to yell about it. Next it Rhombluus.. who asks if she ate those babies. Again that was Bubipsa as Hekapoo understandably yells at him for but no backsies, and she sgets another evil mark on H-Poo’s good or evil tally because she’s that bitch. Finally Moon asks if she’s sorry for what she’s done.. and given the most they genuinely have are that she wrote spells that while dark and evil, were not only not the worst she could do but were clearly not used on any innocents, had an interracial marraige, and did not eat babies.. yeah, she’s not. So the comissoin prepare to cast judgement on the woman whose only “crime” is interacial dating, in a sham trial.

Thankfully.. Eclipsa turns the tables. Before they can hastily refreeze her... Eclipsa points out she has a question.. and Moon points out as a former queen of mewni she’s entitled to a comission seat and thus TECHNICALLY a member. A loose rule and one you’d think Moon wouldn’t enforce.. but she does, a large hint at something i’ll get to in a moment as the reveal’s just too good to spend already. Naturally she has but one question for them:

No, obviously it’s “What did you do with my daughter”. Even more obviously they deny it.. but as we saw last time the cube came out, even lying to YOURSELF isn’t something the cube accepts so outright lying to save your fucking hides is even worse and it begins to crush them all. And after spending most of the runtime putting up with their racist and clearly biaserd bollocks it’s SO fucking cathartic to see them desperatly scramble and fail to avoid the box, with Hekapoo screaming “We didn’t do anything!”.

Eventually Star calls them out on it pointing out they enforce the rules for everyone ELSE, and Hekapoo in paticular called Star and Moon on keeping the book being stolen a secret and Marco on Star’s butterfly form fiasco, so yeah, their glass house is in shards.. and Rhombluus FINNALLY ends this charade and confesses. Hekapoo naturally is mad at him for this.. despite the fact that if he hadn’t they’d all be dead and none of this would matter.

Also Eclipsa is just badass during the entire sequence. While Moon and Star are panicking and the comission are covering for themselves, though the former two are probably doing it more just to keep up appearances but we’ll get to that in just a moment. Eclipsa, SHe just has this expression the whole time, as I put at the top for good reason.

Just a look of pure SCORN, of a mother’s rage at having her daughter hidden from her and wiped from history, of having her husband imprisoned for rightfully getting vengance for it, for having HERSELF imiprosned and made out to be some kind of ghoul for the crime of marrying who she loved and saving her damn kingdom. She’s politely put up with this shit for as long as she had to to get to this moment.. but now as her tormentors despretly try to avoid the consequences of their actions and the truth.. she can only look on with pure, justified hatred at EVEYRTHING they’ve done and just how cowardly it is they refuse to admit it.

So with the pepretraotrs in the cover up explosed, Rhomblus explains he was tired of lying. This COULD have been a good turn for the character, showing he had some remorse and have him get a redepmption arc... any of them could’ve.. but instead thier just 2 dimensonal asssholes after this because “racists be like that’ which they do, but it dosen’t mena you couldn’t of used them as big bads for the final season instead of wasting them. But yeah back on point Rhombluus prods omni to tell them via his projection thing and he does: After Eclipsa was imprisoned, Shastacan got rid of meteora, and we of course know where she went and soon we’ll find out just what happened to her there, but more ont hat another time, and the comission covered things up by taking a pesant girl, though unlike the graphic above we later found out she was left behind by her family and taken in by the comission, who are shown to also have raised her by the book of spells. They gave her the wand, putting magic in her veins.. how ..

Look me and Jess discussed this: magic being given by the wand is terribly inconsistent and while I might go into it in a seperate article some other day, now is not the time or place for it.

It is however the time and place for the reveal as Moon’s reaction to all of this? “We suspected as much”

Yup, as our heroines explain and Shawn freaks the fuck out in one of the series best gags, and mirrors the audience’s reactions, we find out this was all a setup: and as I alluded too one cleverly set up the whole episode, pun unintended: Moon is suddenly dour and ready to to through with the trial despite last episodes revelations, she brings in evidence that’s entirely unsorted despite being a control freak who was previously working on gathering and sorting said evidence, and she backs up eclipsa despite it clearly givng her an advantage. All little hints that something wasn’t right there. Whlie Hekapoo, being again that bitch, is naturally furious, Moon is undaunted and explains why they did this.. and Star was in on it too, which shows that even if her patience lesson from bog beast dosen’t stick entirely, sigh, it does stick for this one episode as she not only waited through this sham trial.. but played her part well, arguging with moon at times to make it seem like nothing had changed. Everything was a careful and constructed plan to get the commission into a position where they COULDN’T lie. Even if Rhombulus hadn’t cracked one of them might of when theyw ere close and while it was a huge risk they all knew going in... it paid off. The truth is laid bare. If only Lekmet’s bi ass were here .. so he could aslo get raked over teh coals for htis. Also yes bi, he had the bi flag colors on the flowers on ihs portrait they left where his seat used to be.

So with the cards all on the table, the Cube passes judgment; Eclipsa is guilty.. but so are her judges minus Moon, so he tells them to think about that, which they do, while he leaves so they can sort out their issues. Star reads the assholes the riot act.. until she stumbles on realizing something: Eclipsa, her supportive, loving, and wonderful grandma whose actually like her.. isn’t her grandma. Eclipsa responds with an “I’m sorry sweetie’ making two things clear by her tone: She’s just as devistated by this reveal as star, she just has more pressing things in her head right now, and that even if their not bound by blood.. sh’es still star’s grandma and always will be. What hits harder is the realization sh’es not a princess and her life is a lie. Granted she is TECHNICALLY a princess , since her dad is still a king by blood and could take the johnason throne if he wanted, but tha’ts being pednatinc: the real point is that the legacy that put so much pressure on her all her life is a lie, and she isn’t who she thought she was. “We’re nothing mom, we’re nothing. “

So star runs off as both of her moms try and comfort her. And as we close out this episode god damn is Eden Sher good in this. Just her acting in this scene is so damn heartbreaking and powerful, going from indignant and calling out the cocmisison.. to heartbreaking, slowly and quitely falling apart as she realizes what happened. So what’s this anguish star’s going through amount to?

Oh sure the ending of season 3 wouldn’t happen without this reveal.. but Star being devistated by it goes NOWHERE. There’s no character arc of her dealing with the fact she’s no longer a princess or once she gives teh wand to eclipsa, even heir to the throne probably. No angst, no deep reflection not even an offhand joke. We find out who the commoners Festivia descended from were.. but that’s IT. Star just kinda ignores this like her confession to marco last season only that at least got a payoff. I will bitch about that payoff soon but it’s you know A PAYOFF. This is a WASTE of an utterly amazing plot twist, one that turns the show on it’s head and star’s entire rebelious princess character around. because they just didn’t care to actually let her change as a character after this season. She learns nothing from this point, dosen’t really grow, and ends in a really terrible and ghastly place. This episodes excellent and while it’s after effects would be felt.. it left SO much more on the table they never bothered to pick up and use.

Final Thoughts: As I said full of wasted potetinal.. but one of the series best episodes still. Hampered a bit by said waste of potetial but on it’s own it’s gripping, has a well set up swereve, and some great acting and animation all around.

So that does it for this review: Next Time: Star and Tom’s relationship progresses as Tom is forced to see what his privlage has insulated him from, while it then hits a massive road block as we get.. to Booth Buddies. And yes i’m doing Skooled second, Booth Buddies is TECHNICALLY seasonly approraite for valentine’s way.. just like herpes. Until then follow this blog for more reviews, my comissions are open shoot me an ask for details and until the next rainbow, it’s been a pleasure.

#star vs the forces of evil #star butterfly #eclipsa butterfly #moon butterfly #hekapoo #rhombulus #omnitraxus prime #sean #river butterfly #king shastaca #meteora butterfly #butterfly trap #total eclipsa the moon #disney #animation

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eiwenmaclor · 4 years

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Criminal minds fic: Emily Prentiss a.k.a. Aunty bear

Summary : Emily Prentiss is protective of children, that's a given. She would cross the world to come to JJ's help, that's a known fact. What would she do if JJ's children were threatened?

Category: hurt/comfort

Warning: canon typical violence

Word count: 8952

Tags: canon compliant, takes place after the ending of the series, BAU as family

A/N: It's the first time I share something other than ficlet and my first Criminal Minds fic. Thanks to @lea-audague for proof reading this.

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"JJ?"

"Emily, listen to me. I have to go home. They are coming for the boys."

Her focus sharpened. There was fear in her friend's voice and that alone was all she needed to act before discussing it any further. JJ was scared for her children and Emily channeled all of her assertiveness, hoping to be the rock her friend needed.

"I'm less than a mile from your house, I'll be there soon."

The unit chief didn't hesitate a second and pressed on the accelerator. She was coming back to Quantico from an interview. It was purely by chance that she was in the neighborhood but Emily wasn't going to let this luck be wasted.

"Brief me JJ."

She could feel at that moment how her colleague forced herself to be an efficient agent before being a frightened mother. From the sound of it, JJ was in a car too and Emily hoped that she wasn't the one driving. After a short inspiration, the flow of information came. That was linked to the case the BAU was consulting on for the MPD. Will was part of the raid on a location they had suspected to be a base of operation for the mob. The police were hot on their trail. Whoever was there left minutes only before the raid. The search of the place had yielded a piece of paper with several addresses. All of them of cops. Will and JJ's included. And the SSA added at that point that one of Will's most recent case was a murder that seemed to be linked to the mob.

"They want to pressure Will. The murder investigation is the most urgent of them all. I know they are planning to take our boys Emily."

The unit chief heard the voice crack at the end of the sentence and her grip on the wheel tightened in response. Her words were infused with as much strength as she could give.

"JJ, you know I will not let them do that. If I can't take the boys with me to the BAU, I'll buy time. Trust me."

The answer was swift and JJ seemed to have regained control of her voice. Oh, how Emily could feel for her friend. Nobody would have faulted her for stumbling in these circumstances. Nobody but herself. Of course.

"I know. I do. I'm on my way with Mat."

"Good. Who's with the kids?"

Emily was trying to keep her colleague on track, not giving her a second to pause and spiral. JJ had once told her how she felt herself freeze when she found her sister after her suicide and again during the case they had in her home town. She didn't want the blonde to freeze and feel guilty about it. So she did what JJ had asked her to do then, she gave her things to do.

"Sarah, the teenage daughter of our neighbors, is babysitting them. I'm calling her."

"I'll call Mat as soon as I know where we stand. It will be okay JJ."

"You don't know that."

"I know that we will do so that it will be okay. Call Sarah."

She hung up on that note. She was on the LaMontagne's residence street and needed all of her attention. Emily's eyes were scanning the neighborhood, searching for anything out of the ordinary. Maybe no one was coming to grab Henry and Michael, but a Prentiss was always prepared. In that case, Emily was preparing herself for the worst, and hoping for the best. She needed to be at the top of her game. She loved the two brothers, as much as she loved Hotch's son Jack. The unit chief was finding it both an incredible motivation and a paralyzing fear. Compartmentalizing would come in handy.

At first, the agent didn't see anything suspicious. She parked on the sidewalk near the house but not in a way that could reduce visibility on the street from the house. Prudent, she used the key JJ had once given her "just in case" rather than ring the doorbell. She knew they might not have a lot of time. Inside, the 16-something babysitter had sprung on her feet at the unexpected stranger but was immediately placated when both boys called the agent by name. The teenager still had her phone in her hand. If Michael was already coming happily toward "aunt Emily" for a hug, Henry seemed worried. The profiler knew him to be very attentive and intelligent. And, after all, he was the son of two law enforcement members... Obviously an unexpected visit from the colleague of one of them would be a major concern.

"Hi boys! Hi...Sarah, right?"

The agent had years of experience with young witnesses and victims, she knew how to project what children and teenagers craved in a crisis situation: the reassurance of a capable, trustworthy adult having things under relative control. For now, she would act as if it was only unusual but not as dangerous as it really was. The teenager nodded, visibly relieved but also kind of subdued, somehow feeling Henry's concern and understanding what it could mean. Emily took a second to look him in the eyes.

"Your parents are okay." She saw his relief as if it were a palpable entity. "But your mom asked me to take you to the office." Emily put her eyes on Sarah. "JJ called?"

"Yes Ma'am, the boys just need to put their shoes on."

The unit chief offered a warm smile to the babysitter. She was pretty level headed and it was a good thing. Her voice was clear. The profiler could see her apprehension but she was putting a pretty solid front for the children. Just as she was answering, they all could hear a vehicle park in the driveway leading to the garage. Emily felt Michael go for the door, probably thinking it was one of his parents and she tightened her arm around him.

"Wait a second buddy."

This time her voice was more strict as to make him feel that it was an important instruction to follow. Emily went to a window to check discreetly whose vehicle it was and couldn't help but let a small sigh go through her lips. God damn it. The next second, she had put back her collected mask on and was turning towards the children, nevermind her heart that was beating way too quickly suddenly.

"Change of plans. Listen to me, and listen carefully, it is very important. You are going to hide upstairs. Bad people are coming but you will be hidden."

The agent was looking to each of the three children, trying to convey some sense of security. She already knew she would die before letting any one of them be taken but the point was to make them trust her on this. Maybe not as dramatically, but still.

"I will not let them hurt you, okay? I just need you to stay hidden and be quiet."

Emily looked at Sarah, who was very pale but looked determined.

"Do not go out under any circumstances. Phone silent. You go out of hiding only if JJ or Will calls you. Got it?"

She quickly obtained the confirmation from each of the children, including Michael who visibly understood how serious all this was. That, more than anything else at that moment, was deeply comforting for her.

"Good. Now, go."

Emily sent a short message to Mat's cellphone while they climbed the stairs. From the window, she had seen an unknown van and three armed men. The agent knew she had only few seconds to spare before they reached the door. Her hand was on her weapon but she hesitated. She knew several children were playing outside in the neighboring front lawns and any shooting in the house could lead to a stray bullet hitting one of the children she had sworn to protect. There was also the fact that they were three and she was alone. She had seen automatic weapons and Emily was pretty sure a shooting wouldn't end well for her. That, in itself, was a risk she was willing to take but that meant letting the children without protection at all after that... Not a good plan either.

"Shit."

Her hand reluctantly let go of the handle of her gun. She looked at her phone where a new message from Mat was on screen. They were 10 minutes out. Ten minutes. Emily closed her eyes and called. During the brief moment it took for it to connect, her finger swiped to activate a recording app Penelope had installed on all their devices long ago. She wanted to keep a material evidence of what would happen, whatever was going to happen. Just in case... Before she could think about it, the call finally connected. She didn't let her colleagues talk and her voice was tense and clinical. For the next ten minutes, she wasn't allowed to make any mistake. The stakes were high.

"Mute on your side. Three men, automatic weapons. I stall. You listen. You'll know what happens."

She didn't even wait for any kind of answer, hid her microphone clipped at her bra, and put her phone behind a furniture, out of sight. The doorbell rang. Emily had to admit that it was wiser than just force the door. After all, it was a residential area, the police response was good and any suspect activity would certainly be flagged by a nosy neighbor. The agent took the opportunity to gain some more seconds and waited for another ring. Finally, even if she hated having to do that, Emily went to answer the door. The profiler didn't want to make them nervous if she had to manipulate them for several minutes. The door was barely open that the muzzle of a submachine gun was aimed at her chest. She froze her hand above her gun and feigned surprise.

"What..."

"Back inside, no sudden move."

There were simple enough instructions and Emily followed them, slowly, each move measured. What she didn't like was the calm and control imbued in this cold voice and the equally cold face of its owner. They weren't bothering hiding behind hoods or masks. That was a big bright red flag for her, but also for the children. They probably wouldn't let any witness behind, or they didn't care to be identified and had enough resources to be sure to be able to flee. The last man to enter closed the door behind him. The first one was keeping his eyes on her. She tried to install rapport.

"Who are you?"

"Shut up and keep your hands up."

The rebuttal was dry and clear. The profiler was studying them for now. The first one was keeping his gun on her, the second one was looking around and the third one was looking through the window. They were very organized and knew what they had to do.

"Where are the kids?"

"What?"

"Your kids!"

"I don't have any children."

The game was on and it was a fragile balance. She had to unsettle them but not too much. Each unexpected information, each unforeseen event would be a source of stress. Emily had to make them feel unprepared. Maybe then, they would hesitate. And hesitation would make them lose precious time.

"Do not lie to me!"

"I swear I'm not lying."

"Where are your children Jennifer?"

Emily feigned the realization.

"I'm not Jennifer. My name is Emily."

"Do not...!"

"I swear! You can check I have my badge in my pocket!"

A couple of seconds of silence passed, heavy with tension. Finally the second one let out a low "what the fuck", and Emily took it as a small victory. The same man was ordered to check her pockets, and take her gun while he was at it.

"She... she's telling the truth... And... She 's FBI."

"What?"

"Emily Prentiss, FBI. Look."

The profiler stayed silent and immobile. She could see the first man, visibly the undisputed leader, think. When he looked at her, his eyes were dangerous.

"What are you doing here?"

"I was just passing by... I work with Jennifer and she needed a change of clothes..."

"You're telling me that you being here is a coincidence?"

"Yes."

His eyes searched hers, and then went to her badge. The agent knew that giving up some truths was a perfect way to make some lies believable.

"LaMontagne's wife is FBI?"

"Yes? Supervisory special agent Jennifer Jareau?"

Her tone was slightly questioning, as if they were testing her, when she knew, from their behavior, that they just didn't have any idea about JJ's occupation prior to this moment. This time it was the third one, still watching outside, who let out a swear. The man in front of her was still looking her eyes intently, searching.

"He's a cop. She's FBI."

"Yes."

"You are a colleague here by coincidence."

"Yes."

"You do know they have kids."

Emily felt it was time for her to be more open, maybe seeming more helpful. If he was resorting to sarcasm, it meant he was starting to let some frustration get to him.

"Yes, of course."

"So, where are they?"

"I don't know, not here."

He clicked his tongue.

"You're sure?"

"Yes. I mean, I swear they aren't quiet ones, I would have heard them if they were here..."

She hoped her trembling voice and sudden rambling would be convincing evidences of the stress and sincerity she wanted to project. He took some more seconds to think and she tried again to return some questions.

"What... what do you want with them...?"

"Not your business."

"They're just children..."

"Tell that to their nosy dad."

"What does it.."

"No more questions."

The metal of the submachine gun made contact with her throat.

"Am I clear?"

"Crystal. Sorry."

He looked at her for a second before making a decision.

"Ok, we're going to sit and talk like civilized people. You are going to answer my questions."

Then he turned toward the second man and ordered him to bring a chair in the living room while he guided her there, gun on the small of her back. He made her wait for the chair and sat on the couch. The profiler saw how tense he was. The couch was comfortable. He had chosen it for that reason, because it was comforting. That was interesting. For her it would be the hard chair, a very classic setting for a more violent interrogation. He was trying to scare her. It might have worked with a civilian but he was underestimating her. Good for her.

The second man came back and put the chair behind her, guiding her roughly into a sitting position and staying behind her, out of sight but not of hearing. She could feel him, hear him breathe. She had to admit that it could be defined as unsettling, but the profiler knew they were the most unsettled at that moment.

"Where are the kids?"

"I don't know."

"Let's say I believe you. What do you know?"

"I don't... what do you mean?"

Playing dumb was always fun. In that case it was very risky but it still had some fun factor, and as always, Emily was properly amazed by how much she could be underestimated as a woman.

"Do you know if they have a sitter?"

"Probably..."

"Probably?"

"I mean yes. I think they do. They are too young to stay alone."

"Do you know where they could be?"

"No? I... I mean... There is a park nearby but I don't know if they go there often or not..."

"Did Jennifer mention anything?"

"I... Why would I tell you?"

She had to defy them, at least a little. He would have grown suspicious of too much cooperation from her. They were talking about children. Her colleague's children.

"Why? Because I will hurt you if you don't answer my questions."

"I... I'm a federal agent... you..."

"I nothing."

There was a brief silence and his face hardened.

"You seem like a reasonable person."

"I... think I am."

"I can deal with reasonable."

"How?"

"Proof."

That was the only warning she received before he stood up and hit her across the face with the butt of his weapon. She let out a short shout, half from surprise half from pain. Her hand went to the side of her face, she could feel the broken skin under her palm. He sat down as if it had been a perfectly neutral interaction.

"So... I will repeat myself just once: did Jennifer mention anything?"

"I..."

"Do you need more proof?"

"No!"

Emily let the pain shine through her voice, which she wouldn't have done usually. He had to think that she was terrified.

"She... I know the oldest was feeling ill those last days. She was upset that her husband couldn't stay at home... And she couldn't either."

"See? Progress. What would they do if one kid was unwell?"

"Sometimes she brings them at work..."

"Did she?"

"Not today..."

"So? Keep talking..."

"Maybe they left them with their godmother. I think she lives nearby..."

The man behind her let out a sigh. He then remarked that they couldn't barge into another house without preparation. Too many risks of complication. The leader seemed to think about it and finally nodded. The profiler noted that it was a dynamic relationship. He was making the decisions but he was also taking the advice and opinions of the two other. That was an interesting lever to play with.

"What do we do?"

"Let me think."

They stayed silent for a while. Emily could feel it, they were close to the breaking point. Soon, they would reconsider. Another problem would be what were they going to do with her, but that was a problem for future Emily. The profiler was rather proud of the turn of events. Another good thing was that time was passing and JJ and Mat probably were half way to the house.

The moment was broken by the unexpected ringtone of the landline phone. Emily cursed internally as the loud sound began to repeat itself. No more words were said among the henchmen and no one moved. Everything was suspended to this ringing. The unit chief knew the men were anxious. She had already pointed out to them every single detail that didn't go as planned and they were one more surprise away from bailing entirely. On the other hand, Emily was preparing herself for the storm. Whoever was calling wasn't aware of the situation and that was an unknown factor she didn't want to deal with. But she would have to. The seconds expanded the agonizing waiting. Finally, the electronic beep of the answering machine echoed in the silent house.

All of Emily's hopes that the caller would hang up were crushed by an unfamiliar female voice.

"Sarah, it's Mom. I tried to call you on your cell phone. I just wanted to remind you that we have a reservation tonight. I know you don't mind the extra sitting time but you can't stay too late today. Try to remember to plug your cell and call me back when you have this message. I know you're here, so stop avoiding me Sweetie."

The unit chief felt her veins freeze over and an uneasy chill go down her spine. One word resonated in her mind. Fuck. Her rigid posture and stony face had not changed since the beginning of the message, giving her a controlled appearance. Which was exactly that. A facade. Her eyes stayed fixed on the wall in front of her. She had to remain calm. But fuck.

A second passed. And then the weight of three sets of eyes fell on her head. If looks could kill... She forced herself to not show any reaction. They were waiting for one. That much was obvious.

"So... The kids aren't here...Right?"

That was a new tone from the head of the trio. She didn't like it. The sarcasm and the sneer weren't doing anything to hide the anger. He was furious. At herself, for lying. And probably even more so at himself for believing her. But Emily would bet that he wasn't going to beat himself too hard... yet. The auto flagellation would come later, maybe. For now, he could be angry at her and so he would be.

She took an inspiration and opened her mouth before closing it without a sound. She could try to convince him, or to defend herself but that would not be a smart move. Any trust they might have had had been shattered. They were going to search the house even if she tried to deny. And trying to deny anything to this particular guy right now could worsen his anger issue. Defending herself at that point would probably lead to similar results. And if Emily was honest, she was not sure to be able to say anything sarcasm-free right now. Silence, at least, would not antagonize him... too much.

A fist hit her left cheek. The impact threatened to send her to the floor but she managed to maintain her balance. Half her face was pulsing with pain as she recovered. She was back in her initial sitting position when he struck again. This time she fell off the chair to the ground and a metallic tasting liquid spilled in her mouth.

"Hold her."

His tone was sharp and the hands grabbing and hauling her on her feet were rough. Her arms were kept in her back, leaving her exposed. For the first time since the call, she looked at her interrogator in the eyes. His face was betraying his need to regain some control over the situation. By lying to him, she had stripped him of that.

"Where are they?"

No way she was going to tell him anything. She could see what he was going for. He was making excuses to let his anger translate to his fists. Was he really hoping to gain anything from beating her? She doubted it. After all, they only had to search the house now. But apparently, she was worth wasting time. Had she bruised his ego that much?

And then, some part of her brain, the masochist part, noted that every second he was putting into beating her were seconds he wasn't using to find Henry and Michael. Unfortunately, the masochist part was making a pragmatic point and Emily was nothing if not pragmatic. That's how she decided to play the game.

"I don't know."

The back of his hand whipped her face. She couldn't help but to have a sense of deja vu. Between her beating by Benjamin Cyrus and her reunion with Ian Doyle, she had her fair share of previous experiences. Strangely, she noted that this time, the mechanics behind the violence were somewhat half way between them. Making a point and punishing her like Cyrus, searching for answers and punishing her like Doyle.

"You lied to me Emily."

The profiler in her identified the use of her first name as a red flag. It was not humanizing. It was used to make it personal, intimate. He could have used "agent" but choose to go straight for what he thought to be the weak civilian behind the badge. She could play into that. He wanted a power trip, she could let him believe he had one.

"I really don't know where they are!"

She put some desperation in her voice to press his buttons. In response, he punched her in the guts, making her gasp. She would have curled up if it wasn't for the man holding her from behind.

"Liar. Do you think I'm stupid Emily? Why are you here?"

The profiler took her time to recover her breath, answering only when threatened to be hit again. Every second she could gain was a small victory.

"I told you... My colleague asked me to grab some stuff for her because it was on my way..."

His hand went to her throat and he squeezed. His face was inches away from hers. She couldn't breathe anymore and at that moment she wondered if she had completely misread this man. Would he strangle her to death? Would it sit well with the two others? She had filed him as a control freak and a narcissist of some sort but was he a sadist? No. She believed in her initial profile. This was a power move. He wanted to frighten her, to let her feel as if he not only could but would end her life anytime. His eyes were watching hers but she couldn't see any pleasure in them, any excitement. Just anger, frustration and a need for control.

"So it's a coincidence. You were passing by... and you have no idea where the kids and the sitter are... Come on! You want me to believe that?"

He maintained his grip several seconds before finally letting go way before the FBI agent could lose consciousness. The sensation wasn't pleasant in any way for Emily and the wheezy quality of her breathing was making here cringe internally. His hand roughly grabbed a fist of her hair to guide her face in his direction.

"So... What will it be?"

Thinking fast, the unit chief opted to let him think she was abandoning the fight. Her voice was strained, tired. Resigned.

"I'm just telling you facts. I don't have proof. You can believe whatever you want."

He watched her a couple of seconds before hitting her again in the stomach. As she gasped, the man behind her let her go and she stumbled. Between being strangled and having her breath pushed out of her lungs, she didn't have to overplay her struggle to recover.

"I believe you're a liar Emily, and I hate liars."

She had just the time to ready herself when a fist hit her face again, sending her half on a coffee table, half on the ground. The profiler knew she had to take some blows and try to "play dead", or at least knocked out. The bet was ridiculous but it was the only thing she had in her sleeve. If they thought she was not a threat anymore, she may be able to do something. Half stunned she initiated a move to straighten when a foot got her side. She hadn't seen that one coming and her legs stopped supporting her weight.

The following seconds were a blur of blows received and discrete self preservation moves applied with varying degrees of efficiency. Finally she laid on the floor among some disturbed furniture, bloodied face, immobile and, for all they knew, non responsive.

"Come on, stop it. She's done. We don't need a fed corpse."

"Yeah, you're right... Fucking bitch."

"So... The kids... Their mother is a fed. Are we... okay with that? Because... I mean, pressuring cops is one thing but, bringing the feds to the fight... What do we do?"

"We have to stop this cop in his tracks, we don't have a choice. This one lied. Search the house, I'm keeping an eye on the street... just in case."

Two sets of footfalls left the room and Emily could hear the third one get away from her. She opened her eyes cautiously. Or tried to. Her left eye was beginning to shut. No one was in sight. That was good. Now, all she had to do was to get up. Her body wasn't going to make it easy. Slowly, she moved. And everything hurt. The unit chief had to control her breathing to not let any sound betray her. She was convinced that her injuries were mainly superficial but they were painful nonetheless. However, Emily didn't have the luxury to wallow. She had few minutes at best before any of them hit the jackpot and found the children.

Now crouching, she saw her interrogator looking through the window of the living room, his back to her. He was keeping his focus on the street. They had already stayed too long in the house and any suspicious vehicle could be noticed easily in this kind of neighborhood. He knew they were running out of time and the pressure was becoming heavy. The fear was giving him tunnel vision. The FBI agent he had just beaten up was already a distant thing in his mind. The profiler internally rejoiced.

He was less than ten feet away. Between them, the soccer trophies of Henry and JJ were displayed on a shelve.

Emily remembered how proud the oldest son was to win this one. And she fondly remembered how emotional JJ got when he insisted on putting her trophy next to his because it was obvious for everyone except JJ till this point that he wasn't proud to win the soccer tournament, he was proud because he had won a soccer tournament "like Mom". The memory really was a precious one.

If Henry's middle school trophy might be fragile, Emily had faith in JJ's varsity team trophy's build. Its marble base would make a perfect blunt weapon. Without losing a second, the unit chief grabbed it and struck her interrogator on the side of his head. Both stunned and surprised, he turned around trying to regain a very compromised balance and Emily greeted him with a second strike to the chin before doing her best to muffle his fall. She found it strange to be the one delivering that kind of blow for once but that was a thought for later.

He was unresponsive, on the ground, blood beginning to form a small puddle under his head. She checked his pulse and found one. Despite the adrenaline coursing in her veins and everything that man had done, the profiler registered relief.

Quickly, she searched him for weapons, taking back her own gun and separating his submachine gun from its magazine. She didn't have time to find her handcuffs. She would trust his probable concussion to keep him quiet for some time. They were two henchmen left and she had to protect the kids.

Emily took a short moment to listen for any sound in the house. One of them seemed to be on the first floor and the other was on the second floor. Her priority would be the latter, because the children were upstairs.

Every step hurt.

Climbing the stairs wasn't an issue in itself. Climbing the stairs quickly while doing it stealthily, that, was a difficult task for her current body. She did the best she could. She wouldn't let three children at the mercy of an armed gangster.

When she arrived at the top of the stairs, crouched to mask her presence, she saw him in the hallway, trying to break down a door. At his first impact on it, she heard whimpers coming from this room. The children were there. Before he could try a second time, she raised her gun and stood up.

"Hey!"

Not too loud, but enough to catch his attention. She just waited for him to react and face her, to have a clean shot. She pressed the trigger twice. He was dead before he touched the ground. Emily didn't waste any second and covered the feet between them. From habit, she kicked his gun out of his hand before ordering the kids to stay hidden. As soon as the words left her mouth, the profiler heard someone quickly climbing the stairs. The last henchman. She ducked in the room opposite to the one hiding the kids.

As the footsteps closed in, Emily was deciding what she was going to do. Trying to gain a visual on him was taking a big risk of getting shot. Too big. And without visual, the unit chief wasn't going to use her gun. There were three children nearby and any missed shot could be a lost bullet for them. No gun policy meant she had to disarm the last aggressor. Her pounding headache and reluctant body weren't finding this plan promising. That wasn't going to be easy. But she didn't have a choice.

Time was up.

Two things happened at the same time.

He called out for his dead colleague, giving her his approximate position, which was at arm's length, just around the corner, and she heard several cars pulling up outside.

Reinforcements were here. But they would never reach him before he finished to smash the door in and find the LaMontagne brothers and their babysitter. She had to gain at least a little more time.

Time was up.

Emily jumped from the room and rammed into the henchman. They struggled messily for several seconds, the width of the hallway not giving them a lot of room. One push from the profiler was the final blow for the door-frame and the man fell into the children's hiding room. His gun gliding a few feet away from him. The unit chief saw him scramble, half standing, to reach the weapon. Behind him the large window was giving the scene an overexposed quality compared to the narrowness of the hallway. She couldn't let him grab that gun. Not now. Not with the children at risk.

She pushed on her legs with all her might. That was a messy move. A part of her brain told her it would have a very messy result too but it was irrelevant. He didn't register her movement before it was too late. She impacted him in a way that would have made Derek Morgan proud. A tackle worthy of the NFL.

She heard more than felt the glass of the window break.

The next thing she knew, they weren't in the room anymore. One thought was at the front of her mind: the kids would be all right.

She heard confusing cracking sounds.

She found fascinating that, even if at that exact moment she didn't have any idea of where, or in what situation she was, some part of her brain was able to clearly label those cracking sounds as bones. Were they hers? She had no clue.

Everything was bright. Then dark.

Pain.

She was outside.

"Emily!"

David Rossi's voice.

Some things stuck to her. She was at JJ's. The kids were safe. She had been inside and now she was on the grass, outside. Apparently on her back. How? ... Oh... Yeah. Messy results. Yeah. She had tackled him through the window. She remembered. Not her brightest idea. Definitely very messy.

"Emily."

Dave's voice was a lot closer than the first time she had heard it. He seemed worried. Like, a lot. Maybe because she wasn't answering and had yet to open her eyes? Come on Prentiss, don't let him hanging like that. Her first try at talking resulted in a wheezy garble. Very reassuring Emily, well done.

"It's okay, don't move."

Her second try went better and her eyes, well the one not shut by a massive black eye, opened.

"Dave..."

"There you are. Don't move. We called an ambulance."

She saw him straighten and instinctively made a move to grab him which was both moderately successful and downright painful. Hence another grunt. But she didn't want him to leave. His face above her was anchoring her. Her head was pounding and a lot of things were blurry both visually and metaphorically.

"Hey, what did I just say? Don't move."

There was both worry and a fatherly quality to his tone and his expression that warmed Emily's heart. She needed that right now.

"Stay."

"I'm not going anywhere. I'm just answering to JJ. She's worried about you."

And now that he told her, among the blur, she could recognize clearly her friend's voice. It was coming from above but she was not close like Dave. Several other voices were blending together around her but it was as if instinctively, she knew they weren't addressing her, so her focus wasn't on them. The blonde called her name and she could hear what she was saying.

"Emily! Rossi, how is she?"

Half a chuckle fell from her lips and she looked at the senior of their team. She knew she wasn't fine, but she couldn't be that bad. She was responsive wasn't she? JJ didn't have to worry about her. Henry and Michael were probably frightened. They needed their mother. Emily was fine with Dave.

"Tell her... to stay... with the kids... and sorry... for the mess."

That made the Italian American laugh and he looked up to JJ who was talking from the now open second floor.

"She's joking."

"I'm not-"

The exclamation died in a painful whimper. How could he not know she was serious?

"Okay, okay, calm down. She's telling you to stay with the boys."

He seemed to relent but he was still not telling JJ was she had said. That frustrated her when at the same time, she couldn't exactly explain why that was so important... A pressure from Emily's hand on his made him sigh, resigned, and swear in Italian for good measure. To which she answered with a short "dille e basta"before he transmitted the second part of the message.

"Oh my God. Emily, you can't be serious right now!"

The tone was half disbelief, half wonder. The brunette felt divided about it. What was it about thinking about the damages she caused, the window she destroyed, that was that surprising? But some part of her mind kept telling her that it would be better to talk about it later. Emily knew that she was missing something important. God that headache was frustrating.

"Emily, it isn't important right now, believe me."

"Dave, please, humor me."

"Did you hit your head?"

"Why? It doesn't change... the fact that... I'm sorry... for the mess."

"Understood. Please, just... calm down. JJ, she's sorry for the mess, whatever that means."

"That's it! Mat, could you... Thanks."

Dave was looking at Emily with fond exasperation, mixed with now well hidden preoccupation. But even concussed, she knew him well. Was what she was missing that important? Wait... She did received blows to her head. That was it?

"You had to go and poke the bear."

The brunette knew JJ was the bear here but she couldn't understand what she had done to "poke" her.

"What?"

"Come on Emily, there are far more serious matters right now..."

"I don't... It's just what comes to mind..."

What was she missing? The frustration was increasing. Did something happen that she couldn't remember? Did something happen to the kids that she didn't catch?

"The kids are okay, right?"

She was absolutely convinced the kids were safe but at the same time, Emily's mind was particularly foggy. It reminded her of the car crash and the evasion years ago. She was definitely concussed. And she missed entirely the look of realization of David Rossi's face.

"Emily, calm down. The kids are okay, they're safe, they're fine. Trust me."

He was placating, smoothing. She was confused but she could trust Dave. He wouldn't lie to her nor sugarcoat things. That was good.

"Okay... Oh! There is a recording... My phone..."

Another random thought. Why was she thinking about this right now? She couldn't retrace her mental process, and maybe that was what she was missing. How Dave could follow her if she couldn't do it herself... Emily realized she probably was still somewhat disoriented or confused. Or both. And the headache wasn't helping.

"You used your phone to keep JJ informed."

"Yes..."

"And you recorded the call?"

"Yes..."

"I understand, it's okay."

Without discussing it any further he passed the information on to Luke. Was Luke there the whole time? She didn't register his presence. But Dave was compliant now. She counted it as a win and felt calmer. He was listening to her. Still.

"JJ, she's concussed and confused."

Dave's tone was both informative and a clear warning. He wasn't going to let anyone mess with Emily. Even the original Mama bear.

"I suspected it."

JJ's voice was softer than before and when she kneeled on the other side of Emily, her face was a mix of emotions. The blonde always acknowledged more her feelings. The unit chief found it way more sane than her extreme compartmentalizing. Tears were pooling in those blue eyes and Emily's first impulse was to comfort her friend. Then, she saw that they weren't negative tears. Blue eyes scanned her, brows frowning slightly, before stopping at the unit chief's eyes.

"Emily, I want you to listen to me carefully. I understand if it's a little hazy right now, but what I'm going to tell you is the most important thing you have to remember."

The brunette focused her attention on her friend. JJ was controlled and the tone was serious. She did as asked and tried to let go of all the current pieces of random thoughts going through her mind.

"Me. Listening."

"Emily, you saved my children. I cannot thank you enough. Without you we have no idea where they could be right now and..."

The blonde cut herself off before losing her thread to what ifs.

"Thank you. That's all I care about. I don't give a damn if I have to clean a little extra a couple of rooms or replace some things. I can't replace my children, and I can't replace you."

The unit chief might have been confused and in pain but she could see the great deal of vulnerability in her friend's eyes and all over her face. The last dozen of minutes were so tense and heavy from her perspective but Emily couldn't fathom what this lapse of time had felt from JJ's part. Not being able to do anything, all the time in the world to second-guess every move and decision of the day to find a better scenario... The brunette understood the weight of JJ's words but something wasn't quite right.

"You don't have to thank me JJ."

"I swear to God Emily..."

"That's what family do."

They were family. And Emily wouldn't hesitate doing it again. Even if it cost her more, she would do it again. The past showed how far the unit chief was willing to go to protect children, how much she cared. But that wasn't even considering that the BAU was her family, and that included their families.

Roughly ten years ago she had come close, two seconds close, to blow up because Will was family. She had jumped in a plane, leaving everything behind, to find a kidnapped JJ, and she had not slowed down for a second when assisting her in the rooftop showdown, never mind plunging to grab her friend at the edge of the building. When Hotch had called her back to help the team through a rough patch, she had let go of her Interpol position without much of a fuss. She had taken the lead, however uncomfortable she was with that at the time because the team needed it. In Mexico, she had crossed the line for Spencer, to save his chance for a fair treatment. That was without mentioning how she found him one of the best attorneys of the country, calling personal favors. She had resisted Mr. Scratch's mind games rather than giving him any piece of information regarding Hotch or Jack. She had tried to be the blown fuse to Barnes's enquiry. That had failed spectacularly but she had tried. Finally, the year before, she confronted Dave, their father figure, when he stumbled despite his initial rebuttal, and imposed the team's help on him until he accepted it.

Because they were family.

And JJ knew it. She understood that that particular thought wasn't born from a confused concussed mind. No, that was all Emily.

"I really could hug you."

"Please don't... That probably would be painful..."

That mention, however lightly said, brought back the blonde's focus on her state. That much was obvious from the way the blue eyes scanned her again. Emily also felt Dave's hand pressing hers to gain her attention.

"Speaking of... how are you feeling? You took quite a fall here."

His warm voice was cautious. As if he didn't want to upset her, or maybe because he, himself, was upset by the situation. For the first time since landing on the grass, Emily took a moment to try to gather some clues about her physical state.

She was in pain. That much she knew.

Left eye blackened. That was already filed too.

Her right hand could grip Dave's without any red flag. But she remembered that moving her arm was painful.

Her left hand... No. Nope. That hurt. Copy. Not moving that one. She couldn't see it but JJ simply confirmed her that her wrist was broken. For once, Emily couldn't decipher from her friend's tone and face if it was really bad or just really obvious.

Cautiously she moved one foot, then the other, with only moderate pain in one knee. Again, she couldn't see her own legs but Dave confirmed that she had moved. She suddenly felt relieved, even if she hadn't considered the possibility of nerve damage until that moment.

So far, the news weren't that bad. Again, the fall wasn't from a very high point and her opponent probably had taken the worst of it.

"I don't think I hurt my back... But breathing hurts."

"You may have cracked some ribs."

That was Dave's calm conclusion. He was simply putting her sensations into clear words without any obvious emotional reaction. She realized that she was calm and more compliant than in previous occurrences. The oldest member of their team really had a good effect on her.

"It already hurt... before the fall."

Dave simply nodded but JJ frowned, visibly understanding that he was missing something.

"They beat her up."

JJ's precision made Dave recoil and then sigh. The Italian was torn between anger and concern when the injured woman interjected from her prone position.

"You should see... the other guys."

"Emily please, could you drop the sarcasm?"

"Never."

That made all three of them chuckle. The brunette knew that displaying her usual wits was reassuring them and she was starting to regain some of her bearings.

"It's probably looking worse than it is."

"Good. Because you look like hell."

"Always the charmer David Rossi."

-------------------------------------------------------

Emily was relaxing in a comfortable seat, enjoying the simple joy of being able to turn her head without having to rotate her entire body to follow the match of the century that was being played in front of her. A smile was gracing her lips. Team Jareau and team Simmons were trying to prove their superiority in the fine art of... Emily wasn't a specialist but it looked like something between football and soccer. Were they reinventing rugby? Either way it was really good to see all of them enjoying the late afternoon warmth. The air smelled of the flowers Krystall had put in Rossi's vast garden but it was slowly overpowered by the tasty smell of properly barbecued meat. The unit chief felt her mouth water. The senior of their team was once again showing off his cooking maestria. She wasn't going to complain about that.

The last two weeks had been hard for her, but for them too. It always was when one of them was down. Emily was wholly embracing being outside after the three-day stay at the hospital -God she hated hospitals- and the days being cooped up in her apartment, in pain and restrained by a neck brace in addition to her wrist plaster. Of course she had never been really alone. Each day a new member of the team had came, taking turns making sure she didn't need anything and didn't overexert herself. She would never admit that it would have probably -surely- been the case without supervision. If she had begrudgingly accepted at first, faced with a dead serious Tara who didn't let any crap faze her, she had come to embrace and enjoy it. Yes, she had tried to send JJ back to her boys but the blonde had just told her "no" and stayed. Well, after that, Emily didn't fight their care anymore.

Now, they were all at Rossi's. Emily had suggested it. They needed to make good memories after the difficult ones. The only tragedy for the convalescent unit chief was her still active ban from alcohol because of the drugs she was taking. All internal bleeding had subsided, her broken ribs were healing, her head wasn't killing her anymore, her wrist would heal in some weeks and the bruises were slowly fading. In a couple of days, she was to come back to work, on desk duty of course, and still not allowed any plane travel. But she would be okay. They all would.

She was letting her eyes take in every member of that makeshift family. On her second day at the hospital, Will, JJ and the boys had come to visit. JJ had explained to her that the boys were very worried about her and even if she "still looked like hell", seeing her would do them good. And it did, but not only to them. Their hugs and the drawings they both did helped the injured woman to stay sane in a hospital that was only reminding her of particularly darker times. Somehow, Emily knew without having to ask that JJ knew perfectly what she was doing that day.

Suddenly a loud victorious roar got her attention back to the game. Luke was lifting a particularly happy Michael above his head, the boy throwing his arms in the air as if he had just won the world championship. Emily chuckled. Team Jareau was leading. Of course it wasn't surprising knowing that team Simmons was composed of four children and an adult whereas the former included only the two LaMontagne brothers and three adults. Something was to be said about fairness when one of those adults was a former soccer champion... But well, Mat's children didn't seem upset at all, so it maybe wasn't that important after all.

A familiar colorful shape approached the brunette and Emily saw a glass of an as colorful liquid appear in front of her.

"Virgin, of course."

"Penelope Garcia, you're the best."

The ex analyst waited for Emily to have a good grip on the glass before letting it go. It was subtle but the agent felt it and thanked her friend with a smile.

"I know Brunette Goddess of Badassery, I know."

Penelope sat next to her. She and Luke had come together and Emily couldn't be happier for the hacker. She had a smile in her voice was she asked about it.

"So... You and Luke?"

"No dear friend, we're not doing that."

Taken aback by the seriousness of her friend's tone, Emily's head snapped toward her a little too quickly, making her wince for a brief instant.

"Em, you're okay?"

The tone was again very Penelope-like, and sorry, and the unit chief was having a new kind of whiplash that wasn't involving her cervical vertebrae. She reassured the blonde incarnation of a sunshine that she had just moved too fast and everything was okay.

"I feel like I should ask you that question PG..."

The pinch had come and gone and Emily was looking at her friend, concerned.

"Sorry... That was a little too abrupt but I didn't want to let you deflect..." A small nod from the unit chief encouraged her to keep going. "Emily Prentiss, you scared me."

"Oh... I'm sorry Pen. Truly. I know that is a serious crime, and no, I'm not really joking. I'm really sorry to have worried you."

Emily poured as much sincerity as you could both in her words and her eyes, trying to decipher what was happening in the head and beautiful heart of the blonde. Penelope held her gaze a moment before letting out a sigh.

"It's just... Could you please stay alive and well? Is it too much to ask my faithful-to-a-fault friend?"

The brunette smiled with understanding and offered a hug to the other woman. They all had scars from their numerous years working at the BAU, tracking the most violent people, seeing the worst of human behavior. There was no judgment to pass among them for sometimes needing a little more time to digest things. And Emily had learned, with them, how much a good hug could say and do. Penelope Garcia had dispensed her wisdom about it, again and again over the years, welcoming them with open arms each and every time they needed it. The unit chief was happy to give her friend what she needed to heal right now.

When they separated, the blonde quickly wiped a lonely tear from her eyes.

"I'm just wondering why sometimes... Why you always put yourself in harm's way..."

Emily smiled again, with warmth and tenderness. With a small move of her head she encouraged her friend to follow her gaze and let it wander to the two blond boys currently tackling their mother because, apparently Emily had missed a big change of rules in this game. They were laughing.

"You see that Pen? That's exactly why I did what I did and why I would absolutely do it again."

They both kept their eyes ahead, on the joyful display and Emily felt the head of her friend gently come to rest upon her shoulder.

"You, Emily Prentiss, are an Aunty Bear."

A big smile split the face of the ambassador's daughter.

"And don't you forget it."

#criminal minds #fanfiction #emily prentiss #BAU as family

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dreamingofscully · 4 years

Photo

5x20. “The End” - X-Files Rewatch

A little missing scene fic I wrote to accompany this episode: [INTRUSION] / Read on AO3 / rated T / M/S UST / Diana / Multiple POV, Drabble, Missing Scene / The first interactions between Mulder/Scully/Diana after the conference room scene. Also, how did Diana end up in the back seat of their car?

Anyway, on with the episode! I have quite extensive analysis about Diana & Mulder, Scully's jealousy and the MSR. Probably one of my longest posts yet. Hope you enjoy! Comments, reblogs and tag comments are love! ❤️

***

Cute lil' Gibson. Love him so much. ❤️

Mulder and Scully's picture in their office.

What is Mulder hoping to find?

Mulder isn't sure, beyond "The Truth". His sister, of course, but overall?

Scully can't live with ambiguity like that - that their investigations will continue forever with no end goal, because there is no end goal in Mulder's mind. She needs more certainty, something solid.

If Mulder reaches the end of the work - does he lose Scully? (This theme is addressed in Fight the Future.)

Mulder's face when he sees Diana.

He's not angry, just shocked. They didn't leave on necessarily bad terms, at least in his mind. He probably blames himself, as he usually does. (MORE AT THE END.)

"There were things at home I decided I wanted to get back to."

Diana's assumption that she can have Mulder when she gets back. There's no idea that he's changed or doesn't want her any more.

Scully is confused. Why are they giving this woman a ride? Why is she being included in something that was normally just something she shared exclusively with Mulder? She's jealous, possessive, at least when it comes to Mulder.

Their positions entering Gibson's room: Mulder, Scully, Diana.

The whole mind-reading scene.

I think Mulder is thinking about Diana, just because she's turned up and it's so weird for him. He also has the annoying tendency to take Scully for granted sometimes. 😥

It could be either Diana or Scully thinking about Mulder, maybe both. Gibson is a troll. Both of them have Mulder on their minds - perhaps Diana is a bit more overt, though. Scully is good at compartmentalizing and would try to focus on the case despite the strange woman intruding on her territory.

That Mulder doesn't want Gibson to say who is thinking about him. He thinks its Diana, of course, and he does NOT want Scully to know about her yet. He wants to delay any explanations for as long as possible. Why? He's never told Scully about Diana. His feelings for Scully, his thoughts about their relationship... they're in a very delicate position and his ex showing up throws things completely off-balance.

Diana peeking in on Mulder and Scully's argument/discussion MAKES ME RAGE. 😡

Scully's look when Diana speaks. Like... who gave you permission to enter this conversation, Diana? Certainly not Scully.

Mulder giving Diana the "authority" to do the testing over Scully.

He obviously knows her strengths, what she's capable of. Still hurts.

Scully's "So you two know each other." and Diana's obtuse "It was a long time ago." OOF.

That Diana knew Mulder before Scully, does she feel that gives her some special advantage? She's trying to assert herself, get some of the power she feels she lost from their previous interactions.

Mulder's so transparent. He's SOOOOO uncomfortable with Scully knowing Diana.

Why would it be awkward unless he feels guilty or some strange sense of betrayal?

Why would he feel that way about a past relationship unless he was thinking about deepening the one he has with Scully?

Scully holding Gibson's hand. ❤️

Gibson the little troublemaker.

Telling Scully she's thinking about Diana and Diana is thinking about Scully.

Scully finding out more about Mulder and Diana.

Her jealousy is written ALL OVER her face.

That Diana is more similar to Mulder

Scully can't help but feel insecure, that Mulder would favour a partner like Diana instead of her. 😥

I love how excited Frohike is to see Scully. ❤️

When going to the LGM, she says : "Analyze the data … with an eye to the parapsychological."

Does Scully feel she needs to be more open-minded because she feels threatened? She needs an advantage.

Frohike looks very uncomfortable when Diana is brought up. What does he know that the other gunmen don't? Maybe Frohike knows exactly the predicament that Mulder is in regarding his feelings for Scully, and whatever issues Mulder dealt with about Diana.

Byers' "I always wondered why they split up." Oh he is so clueless. Scully's face. Her emotional, roughened voice. She's not dealing well with this new info.

That he was in a romantic relationship with Diana, while working with her. She’s probably thinking: maybe Diana is the reason that her and Mulder haven't had anything happen between them, why he's rejected her over and over? He doesn't feel that way about her, he's been pining over this other woman. Who will now replace her not only in a romantic sense (that she never had but she perhaps thought might have been possible) but also in a professional one.

Scully heading to the Gunmen's to fact-find about Diana is pretty cute in a heartbreaking way. Scully brings something for them to look at, but she is also there to grill them about Diana. I think her evasiveness about her reason for being there might be pretty telling to the Gunmen (Frohike, at least), and they might suspect some sort of jealousy on her part.

Mulder's chatty when there's only one of them.

Diana is DEFINITELY trying to manipulate Mulder away from Scully. "I sense you could have used an ally, though – someone who thinks like you, with some background."

Mulder's defense of Scully: "I've done okay without you."

Diana's "Hey ... I’m on your side." and taking his hand. This just screams manipulative to me. Also, this seems like a strange phrase to use. She’s trying to convince herself as much as she is Mulder.

Scully seeing the handhold.

Walking away, trying to recover from whatever it was that she thinks she saw. Some sort of intimate moment - after learning about their past. Diana seems to want to rekindle things, but where does Mulder stand?

The scene in the car is just heart-wrenching. The deep sigh, the tears in her eyes. 😥

Then, Scully proving to a roomful of agents why she's been the BESTEST PARTNER EVER. TAKE THAT STUPID FOWLEY. (I’m not biased, I swear.)

Mulder's so happy and proud that people are seeing how awesome Scully is. ❤️

Scully dropping the "five years" that she's worked with Mulder to Diana and talking about proof.

Diana's criticism: "How do you quantify the spiritual? It can’t be done." Trying to undermine the importance of what Scully's learned, what she's given Mulder.

Diana frames her argument as being concerned with the X-Files being shut down. So what? Is Mulder just supposed to ignore the incredible evidence so he can continue his endless pursuit of nothing? Never wanting proof or anything concrete, just happy to gather stories and have faith in unprovable beliefs?

The similarity to the beginning with Skinner - what does he want? Does he want proof or does he want to endlessly investigate cases and learn interesting things but never actually accomplish anything? Does he want Scully's way, or Diana's?

Scully's white suit vs Diana's black one. Just sayin'.

MULDER DOESN'T ULTIMATELY CARE ABOUT THE X-FILES IF HE CAN GET PROOF. HE CHOOSES SCULLY.

Pre-Scully, would Mulder have thought the same as Diana? Probably. But now his beliefs have shifted. It doesn't matter what he has if he doesn't have the foundation, the basis in reality - to back them up.

Mulder has GROWN. He's changed so much since Scully's come into his life.

Time for Scully to do the same.

CSM back to his old tricks. They wanted him back so he could assassinate - but he's just a tricksy manipulator who takes pleasure in tearing hope away from people at the last minute. He's a cat playing with a mouse before he breaks it’s neck.

Scully's wearing a lot of skirts this season. ❤️

Gibson's "They’re so worried about what other people are thinking when the people they’re worrying about are worried about the same thing. It makes me laugh."

Scully's worried about Mulder, and Mulder's worried about Scully.

"No, you don’t care what people think. Except for her. The other one." - Gibson

Scully does what's right no matter the consequences. That's why she's still with Mulder. But Diana, she has no idea what to do there.

Diana falling asleep while watching Gibson. So she's incompetent, too? Cool cool cool. 😡

Scully at Mulder's apartment. Skinner knowing she's there.

She went home after finding out Diana was shot/after finding the sniper assassinated. Changed and came to Mulder's apartment. Why? To be there for him. Maybe she heard about Jeffrey Spender and his threats.

"I'll be here if you need to reach me." - Scully

Staying with him, helping him through whatever he's thinking; that they've lost not only the proof but the X-Files as well. Maybe their partnership.

Scully feels guilty. Mulder sided with her, chose her proof despite the warnings from Diana. And the consequences she mentioned are all coming true. Maybe she's not good for him anymore, maybe she is HOLDING HIM BACK. Her thoughts, her guilt that she expresses in Fight the Future start here.

The ending.

Holding onto Mulder while he stands there, stoic and unresponsive.

First, he lost his proof, his answers. Then, his life’s work. What’s left?

Scully’s reaching out, but he's folded into himself.

I like how this episode seems to end with Scully embracing Mulder - trying to hold onto him while he is the stoic and standoffish one. Seems like this whole episode, from an MSR perspective, has been about Scully's emotions surrounding their relationship, trying to hold onto Mulder, who she feels is slipping away. Holding tight to the idea of THEM when she's not sure there has ever been the possibility of a THEM.

***

MY DIANA THEORIES

Diana

She helped CSM when he was shot in Redux II: in exchange, he'd find a way for her to return and get Mulder back

She returns at the same time as CSM; at the beginning all she's told is that she can have Mulder (yes, like an object), nothing much about Scully except that she's his partner and they AREN'T involved

She's shot, why? To show her that CSM can do what he wants with her, that he OWNS her; she's cured quickly, by HIM: tells her she's going to be working on the XF with his son and her only objective is to get Mulder to turn against Scully or at least put a wedge between them

CSM knows that the MSR is the reason why his repeated attempts at turning Mulder have failed. Mulder's changed, he no longer can be manipulated by people as easily. Scully is his conscience, his integrity. As long as they are together, Mulder in invulnerable.

Diana is the perfect way to disrupt the relationship. She's been working with the Consortium, and she can (or at least used to be able to) wrap Mulder around her finger.

Diana/Mulder Relationship

They had an on-again, off-again relationship ever since he was out of the academy (Gunmen)

Diana was manipulative but loved him in her own way. She feels entitled to him. She assumes he will come running back to her because he always did it before.

From my Kill Switch post: Diana made Mulder wear the ring to 'claim' him, she was pretty possessive of him. They didn't actually get married until after they discovered the X-Files. And that was sort of a last ditch effort by Mulder to keep her, since she was getting impatient with his obsessive focus on the X-Files. She left anyway shortly after, sent the annulment papers by mail for some bogus reason that she guilted him into agreeing with. I don't think Mulder was ever in a healthy relationship with someone who was unselfish and truly cared about him until Scully (and even that isn't quite healthy in some ways, but at least she cares for him).

Mulder feels responsible for losing Diana, that it was all his fault for the relationship failing. He's avoided romantic entanglements since then. He SPECIFICALLY refused to entertain the idea about loving Scully because of this history.

He doesn't harbour any negative feelings towards Diana, or feel that she did anything wrong.

I have some ideas of what she said to him to get him to agree to the annulment and they'd probably fuck him up; this goes beyond speculation and into fanfic territory so I won't get into it here. Nevertheless, he feels like he's shit at relationships, that if he were to try to become involved with Scully in that way that she'd leave him because of it. He always loses those he loves, and it's always his fault.

#xfiles #x-files #x-files rewatch #x files rewatch #msr #msrheadcanon #mulder and scully #fox mulder #dana scully #diana fowley #season 5

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burn-in-the-dawn · 4 years

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"CURSED" Characters' Age Breakdown (per the book)

Squirrel: 10 years old

Iris: 11 years old

Pym: 16

Nimue: 16

Gawain: 23 (see discussion below)

Uther Pendragon: 26

Arthur: age unspecified, likely 25-26 (see discussion below)

Lancelot: age unspecified, presumably same age range as Gawain & Arthur & Uther (to be discussed in more detail at a later date)

Morgana: age unspecified, likely 21-24 (she's stated in the book by Arthur to be 2 years younger than him, but he's an unreliable narrator about his past so that might be unreliable as well...see discussion below)

DISCUSSION/Explanation of Questionable and/or Speculated Ages

Gawain: Okay, so, the book expressly states him to be "7 years older" than Nimue & have left Dewdenn "at age 14", specifying his departure as having been 9 years before the story itself takes place (Nimue is confirmed several times in the book to be 16 - almost 17). And despite the fact that actor Matt Stokoe (29-30 at time of filming) does not pull off passing for early-mid 20s the way his costars do (IRL he's a few years younger than Daniel Sharman who played The Weeping Monk / Lancelot & only two years older than Devon Terrell who played Arthur), that's something I'm willing to suspend my disbelief on & mentally compartmentalize as "world-weariness & war have taken a toll & 'aged' him beyond his years". In part because, looking back at some of his roles several years ago, the actor looked damn near 30 when he was 23. My own ex looked at age 24 (when I met him) older than Stokoe does now, I've got a friend who looked mid-30s at age 19, I have old photos of my mother at age 13 where she looked completely indistinguishable from her wedding pictures at 23 or her nursing school graduation pictures at 27 & I myself was consistently mistaken for my mid-20s by the time I was 14. The classic "Gawain" hairstyle also does him no favors; there's a scene very early on in his introduction, when he & Nimue are alone in one of the caverns discussing the Sword & Merlin, where he's freshly clean shaven with his hair pulled back away from his face in a ponytail & while he still doesn't look 23 he does look considerably younger than in any other scene in the series. (I genuinely think that production was just kind of oblivious - with 34 year old Daniel Sharman so easily passing for a decade younger - to the fact Matt Stokoe was not 'reading' early-mid 20s the way his costars do). But more pointedly, in the context of 'Cursed', Arthur's fear of loosing Nimue to Gawain is played out only as jealousy directed at a perceived rival for her affection. Regardless of which one's responses & behaviors to other situations present as mature vs childish, they very expressly interact with eachother behaviorally as rivals & contemporaries, NOT like a youth vs an older adult (in fact, Gawain behaves markedly immaturely around/toward Arthur - on pretty much every level - up until Moycraig). They even choreographed the majority of Gawain's/Arthur's postures & movements to mirror eachother from their 2nd scene together onward, to draw a cinematic visual parallel between them from the very beginning. I think if Gawain being considerably older had been an intentional/conscious change on the part of the show, the dynamic of their relationship wouldn't have been staged so specifically to mirror eachother to such an extent.

Arthur: Now, that being said, even though the book doesn't specify I strongly suspect book-Arthur himself to be canonically no younger than 25. Reason being, in the Arthuriana Tradition, Arthur unknowingly being a Pendragon bastard or secret offspring is one of the single most consistent themes throughout centuries of varying lore, hand in hand with the magic Sword, for his claim to the throne. And the book does have him expressly introduce Morgana as his younger half-sister, which not only suggests same mother with different father but also that despite Arthur having been raised by him they know he's not biologically Sir Tor's (although Arthur thinks of him as such). Now, 'Cursed' is obviously forgoing the traditional lore of Arthur being Uther's illegitimate son, because no matter how you slice it Uther's too young to have fathered him even if you aged show-Uther up a decade+ from the book's specified 26 years old & aged Arthur down a bit. But beyond that, they've thrown in the added touch of Uther himself - having been secretly switched at birth for Queen Lunette's still-born son - not in fact being the previous king's true-born heir. Once the Sword passes eventually to Arthur, even with legends about "he who wields the sword will be the true king", Man Blood society will require more than prophecy to recognize/legitimize a his rulership. Though strictly speculation, if I had to make a prediction about Book/Season 2, it would be on Merlin or someone else uncovering evidence that Arthur's actually the previous king's illegitimate biological son rather than his "father" Sir Tor's - conceived shortly before the old king's death sometime during Queen Lunette's pregnancy - at a guess that evidence coming from either Arthur's aunt or uncle. I figure that evidence will wind up being publicly recognized/acknowledged as part of the climax of a redemption/growth arch for Uther, naming Arthur his "brother/heir", prior to his own death - giving Arthur a legitimate claim on the Pendragon throne that supercedes Cumber's claim as a Pendragon cousin. If I'm right in that prediction, since the old King had died by the time Uther was born, Arthur can be no more than 9 months younger than 26 year old Uther, making him at least 25. (It's debated within the fandom that he doesn't look or act like the character is out of his late teens, but considering the actor himself is 28, I'm really not sure how that's defined? Appearance-wise he's got more chest hair on display with his doublet on than Lancelot does with shirt off & his immature avoidance of responsibility seems from the book to be more reflective of subconsciously modeling Tor's example than an age indicator but he's old enough he's spent several years already as a sword-for-hire mercenary. So, while I do allow my theory in his parentage & age is speculation which Book/Season 2 may prive me completely wrong able - not ratified canon - I do stand by that theory for my fic-verse; how old someone "looks" is really subjective & debatable, plus if "maturity level" was meant to be any kind of concrete age indicator in the Cursed-verse then King Uther wouldn't spend the entire series & book acting like a spoiled 6 year old.)

[The following doesn't change anything about how old I think Arthur himself is, but creates some potential flexibility regarding Morgana's age: When Arthur's reflecting on memories of childhood - even via internal monolog - he's consistently inconsistent regarding what age he claims to have been for key noted childhood events (at one point in his thoughts he recalls being 16 with his living mother away tending to a sick relative when Tor died, but later on in the book he reflects that he'd been 10 when Morgana was sent away to Yvoire Convent after he inherited all of Sir Tor's debt with presumably no living mother around to prevent it; alternatively, the show specified he was age 12 when Tor died & Morgana was sent away). At first I thought it was a total screw-up in the writing, but then I reread Morgana's repeated characterization of him as inconsistent & flighty & self-serving & utterly full of shit, paired with Arthur's own characterization of Tor (who again, I don't think was his biological father but was certainly his most formative male role-model) as quite literally talking out of his ass about his imaginary exploits pretty much 100% of the time & Arthur himself repeatedly bending the truth to get what he wants as an ingrained survival habit consistently seen via interaction with people like Bors & Druuna. Again, this is purely speculation, but I think it his written contradictory self-reflections were probably very much on purpose to intentionally establish him as a starting off a significantly "unreliable narrator" the same way he recalls Tor being, to the point of lying to himself rather than deal with painful memories or take accountability/responsibility for uncomfortable personal flaws & faults. I suspect that him overcoming that tendency that he learned from Tor's example - with actions like admitting to Nimue he was in the wrong going after the first man he ever killed (mistakenly believing him to be one of those responsible for Tor's death) shaming his father's memory & like coming back to fight with/for the Fey - are going to be a driving feature within his growth/redemption arch in Book/Season 2.]

Morgana: The book specifies Arthur telling Nimue that Morgana is 2 years his junior; however, he establishes himself as such an unreliable narrator that I feel like anything he says about him & Morgana that's not directly corroborated by Morgana herself is suspect, even their age difference, so I'll allow for the possibility of the age gap potentially being up to 4 years instead of 2. If my guess (see above) about Arthur's paternity - therefore his age - is correct, that puts Morgana herself somewhere between 21 -24. Per societal norms of the period, that actually puts her into "old maid" territory, but contextually to the historical era, she would have been able to get away with dodging societal pressure of being married off against her wishes by that age - up until leaving the abbey at least - because of having been at convent (in contrast to 16 year old Pym, who in both the book & the show says her mother's trying to force her into an unwanted marriage to "Stinky Aaron" the human fish-wife's son).

(note: I compiled this mostly as a quick reference citation I can direct myself or my fic readers back to for my 'canon' logic on the ages I've assigned characters in my stories. I went with the ages listed in the book for my fic-verse because of the express lack of clarification of most of them given in the show & am speculating on the others based on lore-related theory, so yes the potentially problematic age difference is present. I don't intend to villainize Arthur over having pursued her, partially because even though the readers know she's 16 there's nothing in the book & only one brief comment from Gawain in the show which isn't followed up on - Ector calling her a child doesn't count because he dismisses all of them as children - to indicate that Arthur knows she's that young & many contextual reasons for him to have assumed she was older. I apologize if that offends, but it's not meant as an endorsement of it; as the story outline/concept for this fic-verse stands I have no plans on romantically pairing Nimue with anyone & no plans for Pym so soon after Dof's death to be seriously looking at anyone in that capacity until much later in the story.)

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fontofmercy-archived · 5 years

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Understanding BvS’s Lex Luthor: CSA and Repressed Homosexuality

(Re-posted with minor revisions after I moved accounts and accidentally deleted this post)

Lex’s motivations are quite explicit in BvS, he has a whole speech explaining why he is doing what he’s doing and what he says is consistently shown throughout his screentime. But I think there is a lot unspoken beneath the surface that most people wouldn’t think of, based on my observations I think that BvS’s Lex was molested by his father and that he’s sexually attracted to Clark, and that his issues with Superman partially stem from the duality of desiring Clark and being afraid of him. That may sound strange, especially the csa bit, but hear me out because there is quite a bit of evidence and it may give you a clearer perspective on the character.

NOTE: I just want to clarify that it is not at all my intention to equate homosexuality with CSA nor demonize CSA survivors, I’m simply observing this particular character who happens to be a villain. Lex being attracted to Clark doesn’t make him villainous, the way he deals with it because of trauma and internalized homophobia is the problem.

1.) Daddy’s Abominations?

“No man in the sky intervened when I was a boy to save me from daddy’s fists and abominations!”

This is quite self-explanatory, Lex just said that his father sexually abused him. The only other possible interpretation I could think of is a more general ‘my dad made me evil because he was evil’ but that’s a really weak explanation especially since the line is equated with the trauma of being beaten by his dad and the way he is very visibly triggered saying that line. When he finishes “abominations” he immediately flinches away from Superman and shakes his hand in front of his face as if desperately trying to erase what he just confessed.

2.) Lolita + Alice in Wonderland

“Plain Lo in the morning, Lola is slacks -“

“Late, late says the white rabbit”

Lolita and Alice in Wonderland...those are interesting choices of literature for a supervillain to quote. You’d think something more threatening and/or pretentious would be an obvious choice for a traditional mastermind-type supervillain rather than two obscure (not very masculine) classics that only have one thing in common: themes of sexual obsession and pedophilia.

Lolita is the story of a pedophile who uses his power as a step-father to groom and sexually abuse a child. Alice in Wonderland, while not having explicit pedophilic content, was written by a suspected pedophile and is obsessively focused on a child that there are photographs of the author kissing on the mouth. These are the two novels Lex relates to enough to quote them casually off the top of his head.

3.) The “it’s cherry” scene

So this is obviously a sexual innuendo but the question is, why this guy? This character is utterly unimportant on his own and this doesn’t affect anything plot-wise which means this action is entirely about characterizing Lex. What are they trying to communicate here? This guy represents a figure similar to Lex’s father, an older businessman who behaved as if he had authority over Lex, and Lex’s instinct to that is to assert dominance in a sexually suggestive manner. This establishes Lex as a character who uses sexuality to dominate and make others uncomfortable, and relates it to a man who who represents his father.

4.) Two Versions Of The Same Scene

Lex caressing Zod’s face directly parallels him caressing around Clark’s face, even the framing is identical. I think these are two versions of Lex confronting Superman, one with the actual Superman where he has to keep his distance and put on a callous front, and the other with a Kryptonian corpse he can project Superman onto. The scene with Zod I think shows how Lex truly feels about Clark. “You flew too close to the sun” he’s saying this and crying as he’s creating a monster to kill Clark which makes me think those words were not for Zod but the god he feels he has to kill. There’s no reason for Lex to cry for Zod, Lex has no relationship with him, it’s much more coherent that this scene is using Zod’s body as a substitute for what Lex can’t express to the real Superman.

EDIT: Upon rewatch I noticed a small moment where the Jolly Rancher Dude (I don’t think he has a name lol?) says with a smile “You want Zod’s body?” and Lex goes “Okay”, it’s a very playful interaction and it I think strengthens the connection between Zod’s body being an implied sex symbol of Superman.

4.5.) The Sexual Tension In The Rooftop Scene

Every moment of the rooftop scene (and all of this film) is so multilayered and intense, I could talk about it for hours but I want to talk a little more about the moment in the above gif.

Seconds before this, Lex was wagging his fingers inches for Superman’s glowing laser eyes but now when he knows Clark isn’t going to attack him, he won’t touch him? Lex is less afraid of having his fingers burned off than he is to touch Clark’s head knowing that he won’t do anything. Because Lex would be happy if Superman burned him, that would prove him right and give him an easy category to put Clark in but letting himself touch Clark in an ‘affectionate’ manner is terrifying.

A straight male villain that just wanted to use physical contact to assert dominance over the hero would have touched Clark here (and also would have no reason to caress Zod’s dead body) but Lex can’t even though he’s literally trembling with desire to and we know for a fact he’s not afraid of invading Clark’s personal space in an even more physically dangerous moment.

5.) The Dual Realities Of An Abused Child

“If God is all good then he cannot be all powerful.”

Now, I’m not an expert in psychology but I will do my best to articulate this. When someone, especially a child, is abused by someone they love it creates an extreme paradox in their mind. They love this person and they have to trust them but they also have to fear them, their brains are forced to compartmentalize when this person is a threat vs when they are a protector. In some cases, like Lex’s, this can lead to someone entirely thinking in absolutes and dualities.

It’s a consistent theme in Lex’s dialogue that he thinks in absolutes. The cornerstone of his ideology is people have to be “all good” or “all powerful” when really no one is either, there arguably is no such thing as either.

It’s also a theme that he has dual views of people in his life, the most prominent being his father and Superman. In one scene he’s reminiscing about wishing his dad would come back, in another he’s emotionally describing the abuse he inflicted. And Lex does the same with Clark as explained in point 4.

Lex even seems to have a dual view of himself. In the rooftop scene he points to himself as “the evil in the world” but his speech about Prometheus at the party is clearly meant to illustrate that he sees himself as a misunderstood savior of humanity (this is even confirmed in the bonus material).

6.) Internalized Homophobia

“I don’t hate the sinner, I hate the sin.”

Two things are important to me with this line. First is that it reinforces point 5 but also this is a very, very common phrase in homophobic rhetoric so for him to say this and gesture to Clark’s body as the “sin” has implications. And yes, yes, I know he meant that Clark’s powers are a sin but things can have double meanings and I sincerely doubt that anyone making a movie in the western world’s current political climate wouldn’t realize that phrase is strongly linked to homophobia.

To elaborate on how it reinforces 5: Lex is openly saying that he doesn’t hate Clark, he just hates his power, which brings us back to the idea of an abuse victim’s dual reality. It’s Clark’s power that is the threat to him but he can still love Clark, same way his father’s abuse was a threat but he can still love his father. Note: Lex calls Clark “my friend” and “Clark Joe” and similar affectionate names throughout their interactions which I think suggests that Lex sees Clark as partially a person.

7.) Conclusion

DCEU’s Lex Luthor was a fresh, contemporary take on the character so it was a jarring difference from the Lex we’ve seen in other recent mainstream media. I also think it was upsetting partially because it took away Lex as a male power fantasy; a buff, suave billionaire who’s hyper masculine and doesn’t let anything get to him including his canonical abuse. Now we’ve got this definitely charming and silver-tongued but effeminate and deeply traumatized Lex that I think is much, much more dynamic and compelling (and definitely fits this universe) but was uncomfortable for people that were attached to the charecter as a male power fantasy.

Nevertheless we need more villains like this. That can be both intimidating and vulnerable, that are human and offer a real ideological opposition to the hero. BvS could not have been the story it is without this Lex. BvS is a brilliant and nuanced film about how fear and trauma affects people’s worldviews, which is an important thing to explore when you have a Superhero that is the embodiment of hope. It’s important to show that not everyone can have hope so easily and to humanize those people.

Anyways this post is really long and I could literally talk for days about DCEU and this film especially so thanks for reading, please be respectful in the notes.

#dc #pro dceu #dceu positivity #bvs positivity #batman v superman #dc meta #my meta #lex luthor #lex luthor jr #clex #clark x lex #txt #my post

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thoughtfulpaperback · 5 years

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Charmed 2x12 Review SPOILERS!!!!!!

Okay let's do this. Sorry I skipped one but times are hectic. For entertainment I give it an 8/10. Same format. Dislikes, likes and highlights

Dislikes

1. Macy Kneeling to Abby.

Let's just get this one out the way. I can see where they might have been going with this.

They maybe are trying to move away from the ambiguous route with abby (trying to make her sympathetic with her whole patriarchy thing and her dead mom) I mean she is progressively becoming more predatory with Harry so with that in mind, this was possibly one of the "abby is really a bad person not a feminist as she is only out for her own gain and not the empowerment of all women". And I can get that maybe they were also trying to show "look Macy is willing to do the most degrading thing possible just for the chance at rebuilding that power of three/charmed bond with her sisters for the protection of the magical community".

But listen.....

We all know Abigael isnt a star feminist. We already know (although we dont exactly know) that she has some sort of plan up her sleeve to be weary of.

There has been too much attempted ambiguity and the main characters letting her get away with terrible things that the message isnt coming across.

Plus Maybe yes showing Macy being willing to do something that really probably hurt all of us (epecially those of us who are minorities) to watch, may have been to drive home the differences between her and Macy and play up Macy's love for her sisters

But like we know Macy and Abby arent similar (as much as you writers tried to play that up at first). And you know just adding more sister bonding moment and just the fact that Macy was willing to go to abby after all the previous stuff was enough to show she was desperate? Maybe just add more sister bonding moments so we can see how dedicated they are to each other?

Maybe? Just saying.

If the writers are finally going to commit to Abby being a full on villian then I guess the seen was worth cementing that she is horrible (sort of).

Here's my question though as I consider whether the scene was worth it. Who is this show for and what is it trying to show? I mean if it is for minorities and women then i can see how showing these historical and current issues (conflict of power and consideration among women where race is concerned) then I guess showing it and having that controversy makes sense. But like we live it.

As minorities we already know. I know I struggle between wanting my experience shown and also wanting to watch something where for once the minority characters arent subjected to that experience. Charmed did better at addressing controversy and women's issues in season 1. I dont care if it was "obvious" or "heavy handed" because when it is not you basically get the kneeling scene where you dont know what the point was, if it was necessary, and are left feeling hurt or bitter about it.

2. Hacy Kiss.

Listen Brenda/on, this is on my like and dislike list. I will mention what I dislike about it.

The first thing is that it was a fantasy. I mean yes I like that we get full on confirmation that Macy has romantic feelings for Harry and not just considering that she might have them, but I honestly hate the fact that they would tease us like that. Especially when Macy is at a low moment. Which I will get into.

They are kinda ruining Macy for me. Listen, at this point they havent given us enough insight into Macys feelings or thoughts to understand why she isnt pursuing Harry. We can speculate and infer based on previous seasons and some of what the writers or showrunners say on twitter, but this season itself hasnt done much in showing Macy's thought process and so it falls flat. It isnt her reluctance to let people in or not wanting to get involved with someone after Galvin since she does pursue Julian and gets serious relatively quickly. She, at least now we it is confirmed, has those feelings for Harry, but is still choosing to be with someone else inspite of those feelings. I hate that. Harry is obviously tempted by abby and is being naive with her, but he isnt pursuing her and has blocked her advances (except the kiss) so far which may change who knows, but the point is if Macy was just casually dating and enjoying Julian's company I would be like okay, still hate that she would lead someone on when she has feeling for someone else, but if its casual there is less of a chance of the other person being hurt.

I cant get behind Julian x Macy, not because of Julian (who so far is perfect and probably going to be a villian or some how connected to the villians because it is a common trope) but because of Macy. Julian x Macy isnt Healthy because Macy knows she has feelings for someone else. She is using him. That isnt to say she doesnt genuinely like or care about him, but at the end of the day she is using him. Which is crappy because Julian so far seems like a great guy and doesnt deserve being the "distraction". I mentioned this all the time but my least favorite love triangles are the ones where one person is using the other.

Healthy would be Macy and Julian being friends while she works through her feelings and then decides who she wants to be with. Not being with someone while having feelings for someone else.

Macy was shown in season 1 to be rational and could be rational to the point of compartmentalizing and coming off as cold. So maybe that is where they are drawing from, but again little effort has been made on the part of the writers to show what's going on in her brain other than that fantasy kiss. And again I am still like....okay so what does that mean in the long run you butts!!!

3. Helen's suicude

I am so iffy about how shows portray people completing suicide. Like on one hand I get that them showing her exercising free will, but suicide portrayed as a positive rather than a tragedy is just....ugh for me. I still am not sure how I feel overall about it.

Lore wise I hate that they use it to explain why Harry and jimmy couldnt kill each other, because in an interview rupert claimed Harry was immortal now because of the elder thing and the show said it in that first episode. So like are both true? So if harry tries to stab himself like Helen will he just end up back in the coffin and alive since she is immortal?

I mean we are 12 episodes in and have about 10 to go so we really should be working towards a cohesive lore and storyline not adding confusing or not well explained layers. The world building they did in the first half was a lot better which makes me wonder what they heck is going on in the writing room.

Likes

1. Parkerita

Let me explain. While I fancy Jordan x Maggie together. I'd prefer that be a slow burn and steady friendship first. Parker seems to be Maggie's first love. It makes sense that she is still grieving and holding on. While I kind of wanted to be done with Parkerita in fairness to all the season 1 romances that where tossed out, I like the nod to Phole. I felt the OG Phole relationship was not healthy, but I liked the tradgedy of it. I think if new Charmed wants to wrestle with that and do it better (although my faith in the writers is low right now) then I wouldnt be against it. I love a good tradgedy and I sat through Phole so I'll sit through this one.

2.Hacy kiss

I love that the writers finally did something to show us what is going on in Macys brain. I need more (not necessarily Harry fantasies but I wont complain if we get more of those). I do hope a real Hacy kiss is a bit different because one one hand the fact Macy wanted to kiss harry when she was feeling down says something to me about how she feels about him and that she still trusts him (but it could, If I wanted to be cynical, just be more evidence that Macy skews towards using people when she is repressing or feeling down although she didnt actually kiss him, if she had I think I would have not liked it in that particular moment given it would have felt more like using him that expressing feelings)

Highlights

1. Abby really thinks no means maybe 😒 . . .

2. Mel is a lesbian magnet and I'd be fine with her just casually dating while all this other crap is going on as long as she is happy

2. Helen

3. These horror movie vibes though!!

#the cw charmed #charmed reboot #charmed cw #charmed #charmed 2018 #charmed 2018 spoilers #charmed spoilers #hacy #macy x harry #harry x macy #harry greenwood #macy vaughn #mel vera #maggie vera

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chasingshhadows · 5 years

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michael’s control

So there’s something about episode 1.06 (Smells Like Teen Spirit) that I want to talk about and I’m actually really glad I waited until after 1.13 (Recovering the Satellites) to actually write this down because we get to see this come full circle.

Because the events of 1.06 bring into very very sharp focus one aspect of Michael that I think is super fucking important.

His control.

And episode 1.13 is the first - any only - time that we ever see Michael lose control.

(CW: graphic depictions of abuse)

He was 17 in 1.06, right? So this is just 3, maybe almost 4 years after the camping scene from the same episode.

So, in 3-4 years, he went from:

to :

Look at him here. Did anyone else notice how long it takes him to react, to shove Jesse away? Michael stands there watching long enough for Jesse to growl his nastiness in Alex’s face about “humiliation” before he finally seems to snap.

But I don’t think that’s him snapping, I don’t think that’s his breaking point. I think it’s the opposite, actually. I think he was teetering over the edge of a full-on meltdown, and it’s actually in that moment he rushes toward Jesse that he pulls himself off that ledge.

That pause isn’t because he doesn’t care or because he doesn’t think it’s his place to intervene - it’s because he cares too much and he wasn’t prepared for this. And by this point, he’s gotten himself so well trained that he forces himself back into control before he even allows himself to react.

Because losing control isn’t an option, not for Michael. Not when Isobel and Max’s lives are also on the line. Especially not in front of an already hostile adult who literally works for the government he’s spent his life hiding from.

And Michael had to learn control and mastery of his powers long before Max or Isobel, not just because his powers are the most recognizable as such (electrical oddities can be explained away; flying furniture, not so much), but also because unlike his siblings, he grew up in an unfriendly, abusive environment. We see that Michael is literally being physically (and rather brutally) punished for losing control, which is far, far more pressure than Max’s embarrassment over his wet dreams.

So Michael had to learn how to control himself, there was no wiggle room or other option. He had to follow that ethereal energy of his to its source, find it and tuck it away inside, build a cage around it and lock it away.

That chaos may continue to swirl and swell and rip him up inside, but somehow through it all, he’s found a way to anchor his telekinesis. He’s managed to compartmentalize those instincts away in some locked room in his mind and what happens in that shed just proves how absolutely firm his command of them is.

Especially what happens after you see him take the time to get himself under control. Because he gets his powers in check and then:

While obviously we can’t see the entire shed, it is incredibly clear that nothing starts flying around, if only because this is Jesse Manes. He’s spent his life around aliens - if anything off happened, he would have noticed immediately, and taken action.

Having seen this, having seen Michael endure that and still stay in control, the show cements for the audience that Michael Guerin has extraordinary control over his telekinesis. And that something would have to be very very wrong with him for him to ever lose control. And not just very very wrong, but worse than That^.

And in 1.13, we see exactly that. We see a Michael that has been emotionally wrecked in about 15 different ways to the point that he is stripped of all emotional and intellectual structure. He is not processing, he is not thinking, he is not maintaining the cage around his powers, isn’t capable of it.

Max shoots the antidote, effectively ending his chances of saving Noah, cutting off any of Michael’s last chances to get the answers he needs, and ensuring, for Michael, that all of those aliens in the prison died for nothing.

This. This is the first - and currently only - time that we have ever seen Michael lose control of his powers.

And you see in his reaction, he is shook.

He is horrified at what he’s done, and truly, looks about 12 years old. Just lost and floundering because he didn’t mean to do that. Because Michael wrangled his powers a long time ago and it’s been over a decade since he’s truly lost control. For a moment, Michael just does not know himself.

“We’re defined by what we can control.”

This show has put in the time and effort and development to show what it truly takes to break someone, to rip them apart so thoroughly that they violate a core element of themselves. And I think we saw that with all the aliens, actually, but none more devastatingly or strikingly so than with Michael.

They stripped Michael down so effectively that he, Michael Guerin, lost control.

This next part veers a bit into a different topic, but I still want to mention it here. Because what all of the above means for Michael, and for us as the audience, is that alllll those other times we saw what appeared to be “outbursts” from Michael were in fact intentional. They were calculated, they were on purpose. He uses his powers, in front of Isobel and Max, as a warning shot (generally directed at Max).

(this one was clearly intentional, as he was trying to distract/disrupt Max, but I’m including it because I’ve seen people talk about it as evidence of his “volatility” and I very much disagree with that.)

Michael isn’t losing control, he is just indicating, in a way he knows will not be mistaken, that Max done fucked up.

Because Max always made the rules, their whole lives, and was used to being listened to, but he doesn’t appear to have a lot of experience with listening to them.

We see on numerous occasions when Isobel and especially Michael attempt to make suggestions or decisions, that Max shuts them down or ignores them - we see it when Michael wanted to go to the Evans for help in 1.06, when they tell him not to tell Liz (both as teens and adults), and when Michael suggests they tell Isobel the truth about Rosa in 1.05 (which is ironic considering later he tries to pin that whole lie entirely on Michael).

Max is used to being the one with the plan, the one with the all the right answers, and he’s not used to accepting input. Michael using his powers at Max is his way of ensuring he’ll be heard.

(and I just want to note, once again, that I love Max dearly. He is flawed, just as everyone on this show is. And one of his flaws is his own self-assurance and inability to listen to others.)

TD;DR: Michael has more control in his pinkie toe than his siblings have combined and it is both incredibly badass to see and insanely heartbreaking to see him lose.

#michael guerin #roswell new mexico #rnm #roswellnm #rnm meta #michael guerin meta #i just have a lot of feelings #ober-affen-geil #michael's control

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the-erudite-library · 5 years

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Villainy pt 1: The Big Bads

okay i’m going to just admit right now that this post is a little biased, but i’m a salty, overanalyzing fuck so i’m going to write it anyways.

for the sake of ease of understanding, lets pretend that all the antagonists in this story are actual villains (villainy describes a malicious intent where as antagonism describes a character who is direct opposition to the protagonist) and ignore the biased narration of the series being that it’s told from a first person perspective (more on why that makes understanding the characters in this series shitty and confusing can be found here). I care a lot about the antagonists in this series and so it just feels right that i write a fucking essay based entirely around how cool they are, their wasted potential, and why some of them are just way, way cooler than others. I’m just going to go ahead and cover all the supposed villains rather than just the big bads, and i’m probably going to massively overestimate their complexity and actually try to work out a narrative for all of them because a lot of these supposed villains are actually rather sympathetic characters when they’re looked at from the right angle and honestly the narrative kind of treats them like garbage. I’m not saying that any of them were totally justified in their actions, I just think that sometimes the plot and writing of the story is so aggressively vague, biased, and nonsensical that it can be difficult to understand them.

I genuinely think that Jeanine is the best antagonist out of all of them, and I’m sure that that can be fiercely debated because really it depends on what you mean when you say ‘best’. What I mean is that I appreciate the way that there are all these little breadcrumbs for people to draw their own conclusions about her but nothing that ever really redeems her as a person, also that she’s really the closest to an actual villain that the story ever gets. I already talked about how she’s really not in the post linked above and also in this one, how she’s really a morally gray and complex person. But what I also love about her is that she’s so incredibly straightforward about everything. For the most part, she doesn’t waste much time with theatrics or melodrama, she just does the thing (aside from that one thing with the water tank in the first book that was really kind of out of character for what had just been established about her and i could not have been more glad when they changed it in the movie). Her plan makes sense, the goals are clear and her methods are obviously well thought out; I wouldn’t at all be surprised if she spent years putting it all together piece by tiny piece without anyone ever seeing it coming but by the time they did there was no stopping it. She went to great lengths to protect her own image even after the Abnegation attack and for the most part it really felt like it was just Tris and her scrawny little army up against this massively powerful woman who had the whole city at her beck and call (if you ignore the fact that the insurgency never really lost a battle of course). She suffered no fools and for the most part seemed to keep everyone at an arms length; no one knew the full scope of the plan but her and no one could ever get close enough to eventually betray her. She built up an empire of people that she held together for quite some time. Even as the war began to tip out of Erudite’s favor, no important people ever seemed to even try to leave (Jack Kang is the only example that I can think of that didn’t die before things really began to fall apart for Erudite, which leads me to think that she didn’t have all that many important associates to begin with). She was kind of one track minded and completely relentless in chasing down her goals, and it made her terrifying because you knew that she was just never going to stop until she got what she was after. She wasn’t above using any and every dirty and underhanded tactic at her disposal so long as it got her what she wanted. She wasn’t an antagonist that could be handled easily or quietly; stopping her required amassing an army and half-destroying the entire city because anything less would have been snuffed out before it could gain any traction because she was just that powerful. She always seemed to be one step (or ten) ahead and defeating her ultimately required having not much of a plan at all or a plan that not everyone was clear on because chaos was the one thing she couldn’t break down, compartmentalize, and ultimately conquer.

Jeanine and Tris’ dynamic is interesting to say the least, and not in a shippy way but in like a very genuinely compelling way. I’m going to include movie canon in this because despite how shit the movies were about some details, others were greatly improved upon (i.e. replacing the water tank bullshit with a straight up execution, it may have been a little bit less dramatic but it was far more in line with Jeanine’s character). From the very moment they meet, Tris is full of snark and sass no matter how inappropriate it may be in the moment. What they have isn’t so much witty banter as it is Tris making really disrespectful comments and Jeanine starting off as being polite about it and she just gradually loses her patience. They clash on the deepest level, not really equals but complete opposite. Let’s be honest with ourselves; Tris was not more powerful than Jeanine, she was not smarter, in the grand scheme of things she wasn’t stronger either. Which makes the fact that she was able to best her really interesting. Jeanine doesn’t handle chaos well and Tris is almost all chaos. It’s hardly a game of chess and more like one person losing and deciding to knock all the pieces off the table...which in and of itself is a kind of victory I guess.

Evelyn is...an interesting villain. For the most part, she seems to be a person driven largely by hatred and fear as a result of years and years of suffering and pain piling up on top of each other like some sort of sedimentary rock of trauma. She very well may have started out as someone who was simply just power hungry, or maybe not power hungry but just ambitious. I highly doubt she was cut out for Abnegation and there is a lot of evidence that she’s Divergent (if she’s not then it’s kind of unclear exactly where she would fit, Erudite maybe). From the way that things are set up in the Four novellas, it sounds a lot like her plans have been coming together for a long time too and that they have been the complete and total focus of her life. She brought together potentially thousands of people, made them obey her, made them fight and die for her, but most impressively she made them stick by her for years when they had absolutely no reason to. It’s kind of insinuated, if not outright said, that Evelyn is completely self made and that everything that the factionless are they what are because she built them up like that. By all accounts, she is just as impressive as Jeanine and quite the force to be reckoned with. However, her reasons for doing what she does make her all the more interesting. Like I said, perhaps she might have started out with a simple desire to be powerful and that may have been why she picked Abnegation in the first place, in hopes of getting on the council (i’ve seen that theory tossed out in fanfic before and it actually makes a lot of sense). But Marcus’ treatment of her and the way that many of the Abnegation are just so willfully ignorant, the way that they will go to great lengths to protect their image as a faction (and by extension, Marcus’ image as a leader) even if that means turning a blind eye to the fact that she was being abused must have been much more than disillusioning. It certainly couldn’t have done any good for her emotionally and by the time Four reunites with her for the first time in his novella she is a far cry from the woman that he knew as a child because she had to become someone else entirely just to survive.

It obviously spurred a powerful desire for revenge within her, not just against the man who wronged her but against the faction system as a whole that neglected her and held her down. When she finally saw her chance to take that revenge it wasn’t her capitalizing on the war, on Dauntless’ fracturing, Abnegation’s destruction, and Erudite getting less trustworthy by the day. No, it was her perceiving a hairline fracture in the very foundation of the system that wouldn’t become anything threatening for literal years. Much like Jeanine, she stacked the deck in her favor long before anyone knew what she was doing; and in her case she had the extra advantage of nearly everyone who knew her thinking she was dead. Evelyn’s Factionless and Jeanine’s Erudite were two very powerful and very similar forces led by two very powerful and very similar women, and honestly it’s a damn shame that we got Tris constantly butting in and all but bending fate in her favor when we could have had a delightfully destructive and complex war with Jeanine and Evelyn as the central focusses.

Especially because Evelyn has a flat, kind of boring, and frankly rather irritating relationship with Tris. I think they maybe say a few sentences to each other ever, despite Tris hating her and wanting so badly to fight her. And I get it, Tris hates her for abandoning Tobias and that’s kind of understandable I guess, but given the fact that she was meant to be one of the big villains in book three one would think that there would be more of an interaction. I mean, sure, they had that one thing at the beginning of Allegiant with the interrogation scene but I’m like 90% sure that was the longest conversation they’d ever had or ever would have and it’s disappointing.

And then there’s David, the disappointment of the three big bads imo. Generally most elements of Allegiant were disappointing and frustrating, but David was honestly one of the worst elements. He was sort of cooler in the movie, and by cooler I mean a hell of a lot creepier especially regarding Tris. Combine his relationship with Tris in the movie with the fact that in the books it’s very heavily implied that he had unrequited feelings for Natalie and it makes his relationship with her both fascinating and unsettling. Of course, that’s all wasted because those two qualities are exclusive to the book and movie respectively, therefore making his relationship with her sort of flat in both. He doesn’t really have all that much “screen” time in the books at all, at least not in comparison to characters like Nita and Matthew. He had virtually no personality and the only reason I’m including him here at all is because of the role he plays in the Allegiant movie. I’m not saying that he has the same potential or deserves the same amount of plot focus that Evelyn and Jeanine do (mainly because they just have had more time for their characters to build), but honest to god if VRoth was going to make genetic damage a metaphor for oppression (don’t get me started on how badly that was handled) at least, maybe, i don’t know, give the oppressors more than a vague and distant role in the story. I’m not in any way saying that the issues between the GD and GP people should have been highlighted, because god knows that VRoth would have just handled it poorly and I would legit have probably set something on fire. And David doesn’t need to be humanized, what he needs to be is a direct counter to Tris’ ego. If absolutely nothing else that should have been the role of all the Bureau characters save for Amar and George. Tris lowkey kind of doesn’t know how to be wrong and thinks that she knows better than absolutely everyone, and when she’s revealed to be something ~special~ again in Allegiant she became even more of an asshole. She very obviously did think that the genetically pure or the Divergent or whatever were better than the genetically damaged and it goes unacknowledged to the point where i’m just convinced that it’s completely accidental. She’s completely unsympathetic to the actual oppression that the genetically damaged face.

But I digress.

David is honestly too distant and vague as a character to be analyzed very closely, which is unfortunate because he could have paralleled real people with real sociopolitical philosophies.

#divergent #evelyn johnson #jeanine matthews #david (divergent)#a little candor of me #first big analysis post in a while #theories headcanons and meta #i'll do caleb and nita and stuff later

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