#npd + ied culture is
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npd + ied culture is what the fuck do you mean you left me for that other whore? i’m all you need!! don’t think i don’t know, either. fucking piece of SHIT!!!
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#npd culture is#npd + ied culture is#actually narcissistic#actually npd#narcissistic personality disorder#npd#cluster b#ied#intermittent explosive disorder
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im a violent dog and i know exactly why i bite
#aspd#cptsd#bpd#npd#actually aspd#actually bpd#actually npd#actually cptsd#actually mentally ill#mentally unstable#mentally exhausted#mentally fucked#mentally tired#anger issues#bpd splitting#quotes#cluster b#mentally ill#mental illness#violent dog#i hate it i hate it i hate it#i hate them#cluster b culture is#text#AUTOPSYFREAK AND A HOSPITAL FOR SOULS REBLOGGED THIS HELLO
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I love talking about myself.
You ask me questions about myself? I could spend literal hours happily talking about me.
#actually mentally ill#actually osdd#did osdd#mental illness#actually aspd#actually npd#npd#actuallynpd#narcissistic personality disorder#actually narcissistic#actually antisocial#narc abuse isn’t real#i am my own favourite topic#npd safe#npd culture is#npd things#cluster b#clusterb#cluster b personality disorder#npd posting#myself#mental health#i love talking about myself#talking about myself
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the urge to go out and ruin my life bc i’m bored
#and i want attention#bpd#actually bpd#borderline personality disorder#bpd problems#actually borderline#bpd feels#bpd meme#bpd memes#paranoia#bpd rage#actually cluster b#cluster b culture#hpd safe#hpd#???#maybe idk maybe y’all will understand#npd safe#aspd safe
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I think that a lot of people without NPD have a really poor understanding of "narc supply" or the specific type of positive attention that pwNPD crave. Even the egotypicals who are allies, the ones denounce narc abuse and anti-NPD ableism, don't fully grasp it.
There's this false idea that NPDs like to be worshipped and showered with compliments all of the time, and I mean, yeah, most of us would eat that shit up, but I know that for myself and a lot of other pwNPD it's deeper and much more, I guess, personal?
I don't really know how to describe it, so I'll give an example: As a kid, no one really paid attention to my creative endeavors, my accomplishments, my feelings, etc. And if they DID pay attention, the attention was negative. I could always do better, I could always be smarter, stronger, etc. This came from peers and adults alike. So I developed a coping mechanism where I would tell myself that everyone else was wrong, that I'm actually the best person around, etc. I don't have to explain what disorder I ended up with as an adult as a result of all of that. :P
But anyway - the wound of constantly being ignored at best and insulted at worst is still there. You know how when you're in a group chat or a conversation with multiple people and no one ever pays attention to your comments, while paying attention to everyone else? Yeah, that shit hurts EVERYONE, but especially pwNPD. Even the smallest acknowledgment can be "narc supply."
You know how when you achieve something really cool and everyone ignores you - but the people who ignore you will be quick to praise OTHER people?
You know how when you post art/edits online and everyone ignores you - but the people who ignore you compliment someone else's post in the exact same thread?
You know how when you ask your friend to read your favorite book or listen to your favorite artist or whatever because of how much it means to you, and they never do it, but then they read/listen to everyone else's favorite thing at everyone else's recommendation, and how much it pisses you off? (Hurts even more if you have the SAME favorite book/artist and someone reads/listens to it at the other person's recommendation and not at yours.)
Yeah, yeah, yeah, I could go on and on. That shit would bother anyone, us narcissists aren't alone in being hurt by that, but my G-d, it impacts pwNPD in such a specific way.
But let me flip it around to the positive!
A narcissist doesn't necessarily get their "supply" from someone telling them that they're the coolest person in the world and that they're a god. (Though if you do want to say that to us we probably won't complain!) Sometimes they get their "supply" from something as simple as someone acknowledging their achievements, and giving specific praise on what the achievement was. ("It's so cool that you won a prize in the music recital. The song you played sounds like it was really difficult and I loved your stage presence.")
Being told, "Wow, you did such a great job on your artwork, I love the colors!" goes a very very long way for a narc, especially when said narc is used to being IGNORED for their art.
Hearing, "it's so cool that you like that book, I'll have to read it and tell you my thoughts!" can help a narcissist's interests feel acknowledged.
You might be reading this and thinking, "well, isn't it just basic human interaction to compliment your friends or try out their interests"? And, well, maybe it is, but the whole point of NPD is that most of us grew up without receiving that type of attention, so now we're very very desperate for it - and very, very, VERY sensitive to when it doesn't happen, or is even perceived to not have happened. Something as small as being talked over in a group chat can set us off, but something as small as a simple, "hey, it's so cool that you did this, I love it." can win us over.
And to be completely fair, most of the time us being "ignored" isn't completely intentional. Like, I get it, yeah, sometimes timing just doesn't work out for person A to read my favorite book at my own rec, but by the time person B is in their life, person A can read it, and it's not anything personal. Sometimes the content I make just isn't someone's ~style~ and they support me, they really do, they just don't know what to say. Sometimes someone forgets to respond, or doesn't get a notification when I send them something I made or tell them about something I did. (There is less excuse for being ignored in face-to-face/offline convos though.) But because of the trauma of us constantly being ignored as kids/teens, the smallest little thing hurts and as a result we seek and crave attention EVERYWHERE.
So now, to give in to narc stereotypes of begging for attention: If you're a person without NPD and you genuinely want to help the narcissists you have in your life, the second best thing you can do for us is checking in to make sure we're not overlooked. Try to be sure you're not ignoring us, and if we do something cool, try to compliment it, even if it's something you don't fully "understand." Ask us about what we've been up to lately, what we're proud of about ourselves, and agree with us that what we've done is pretty cool. I mean, you'd do that for any friend, right? It's really not all outlandish for a narc to want that.
(If you're curious what the FIRST best thing you can do for a narcissist is, it's giving us a million dollars unlearning your anti-NPD ableism and calling people out who use narcissist as an insult as a synonym for abuser. Even in "offline" spaces, even when we're not around, even doctors/therapists. Even "narc" abuse survivors.)
#actuallynarcissistic#actuallynpd#npd feels#npd safe#npd culture#my favorite person is literally my favorite person only because she warned me about media that used narcissist as an insult and listened to#an album i liked when literally EVERYONE ELSE i've recced the album to has ignored it. (I've been a fan of said album for ALMOST A DECADE)#like guys it's not that hard to treat us well#(also i mean favorite person in the cluster b way - she's my favorite person in the NT way for many reasons)
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You ever open up to someone and feel gross afterwards and weak?
#cluster b#did system#bpd life#aspd mood#Aspd#aspd safe#aspd thoughts#aspd feels#npd?#my therapist will be hearing about this#my therapist thinks I have NPD😭#npd + bpd culture is#npd traits#covert npd#npd problems
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hospital pics !! <3.
silly little suicide attempt mixed with starving :c the doctor said it's a miracle I'm alive, the pills should've instantly killed me !! doesn't feel like a miracle :[ I do looooove being sick though, it's so validating ^^ plus, he was gone for too long ૮(˶ㅠ︿ㅠ)ა what was I supposed to do without him? live? hah :D loved the stinging feels and dizzy weakness, didn't really like the injections ˙◠˙ it does definitely make me feel like my disorder is more real thoughhhh ( ˶ˆᗜˆ˵ )
#bpd#actually bpd#borderline personality disorder#bpd problems#actually borderline#bpd feels#bpd meme#bpd memes#paranoia#bpd rage#cluster b#cluster b culture#hpd#npd#bpd fp#actually mentally ill#beans cvt#i need to cvt#s3lfharmm#self h4te#self h@rm#self mut1lation#selfharrrm#styr0twt#tw selfhate#tw styro#tw s3lf harm#self mutalition#self mutilator#arm cvts
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i want to die. i cant keep living like this. i cant keep living with this disorder. it is eating away at me and my life.
#bpd#actually bpd#bpd thoughts#bpd vent#bpd fp#bpd splitting#actually borderline#borderline personality disorder#borderline blog#borderline culture is#bpd stuff#bpd struggles#bpd blog#bpd brain#npd safe#aspd safe#i want to kms#i cant do this#sorry for being depressing#cluster b#i might be going insane#i might hurt myself later
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questioning npd + ied culture is receiving negative criticism and feeling such a strong surge of emotion that makes you want to collapse on the floor and scream and shout and cry and sob out of the sheer rage you are experiencing
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#npd culture is#questioning npd culture is#npd + ied culture is#questioning npd + ied culture is#npd#actually narcissistic#actually npd#narcissistic personality disorder#cluster b#ied#intermittent explosive disorder
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black holes are very npd I base it solely on the feeling of a hole inside which could never be filled and it just takes takes takes and its never enough
#npd things#npd culture is#actually npd#npd awareness#npd safe#npd feels#npd thoughts#idk i added enough of npd tags#npd#i dedicate this post to my first hater. with all due respect (which is none) get a hobby#my hobby is doing patterns about mental disorders
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ive never met a person with a cluster b disorder who would purposefully hurt me especially when id tell them that theyre making my own symptoms worse, but oh boy do the cluster b-less people know how to make you feel like a worthless unlovable piece of shit no matter how many times you tell them that theyre only making everything worse for both of us with their behaviour. gotta love the self proclaimed empaths
#cluster b vent#vent#cluster b#cluster b culture is#npd#actually npd#bpd#actually bpd#aspd#actually aspd#actually narcissistic#narc abuse isnt real#actually mentally ill#mentally exhausted#mentally ill#mental illness#mentally tired#i give up#i hate it here#fuck this#bpd splitting#bpd favourite person#narcissism
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homicidal ideation is running rampant in my brain
#actually aspd#aspd#clusterb#actually mentally ill#actuallyaspd#cluster b#actuallynpd#npd#actually npd#actually bpd#aspd safe#aspd things#aspd traits#aspd thoughts#aspd feels#aspd positivity#aspd culture is#aspd awareness#actually antisocial#antisocial personality disorder#narcissistic personality disorder#borderline personality disorder#actually borderline#actually narcissistic#homicidal ideation#mental illness#anger issues#hoping i can openly talk about this here without people being dicks#actually cluster b#cluster b personality disorder
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"narcissists think they're better than everyone" no, no, that's not true. i don't THINK i'm better than everyone. i KNOW i'm better than everyone.
#jokes aside i do genuinely think most pwNPD are better than most empaths#that npd feel#npd culture#npdsafe#actually npd#actuallynpd#actuallynarcissistic
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wdym these feelings aren't just teenage hormones? wdym im not gonna grow out of them and find normal, healthy love in the future?? wdym i'm not normal??? why not ????
#borderline blog#bpd diary#actually borderline#actually bpd#bpd vent#i hate bpd#borderline personality disorder#borderline pd#bpd#cluster b#npd vent#npd posting#npd things#npd traits#actually npd#npd culture is#npd#actually narcissistic#narcissistic traits#narcissistic personality disorder#actually mentally ill#mentally fucked#mentally exhausted#mentally unstable#maladapting daydreaming disorder#unhealthy love#bpd blog#hell is a teenage girl#gaslight gatekeep girlblog#girl rotting
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cluster b culture is getting irrationally angry at people for having things in common with you. no, we can’t have the same favorite animal actually, fuck you.
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#cluster b culture is#cluster b#bpd#npd#hpd#aspd#mod saltwater#YEAH MOOD#i used to get so mad when my little brother got the same thing as me#honestly i still do but it doesn’t happen as often because we don’t live together anymore
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"you're too much to deal with im tired of having to walk on eggshells around you" sorry ill just go jump off a tall building !! ill just completely erase the burden of my existence !! since its SUCH an inconvenience to be around me !!
i dont like the way i act either.
#bpd#actually bpd#bpd thoughts#bpd splitting#bpd vent#bpd fp#borderline personality disorder#actually borderline#borderline culture is#borderline blog#bpd blog#bpdblr#bpd safe#npd safe#aspd safe#im sorry#i don't wanna live like this#im silly
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