#no help from teachers or old friends
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mapsareforbraindeads · 6 days ago
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idk the pre birthday dread is seeping in. i cannot enjoy the celebrations
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questwithambition · 3 months ago
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She got the green light to start (gradually) dancing again 🥹🥹🥹
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harmonizewithechoes · 5 months ago
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My five year old has his very first day of kindergarten tomorrow 🥺🥺🥺 I didn’t expect to be hit with such a huge wave of emotions but I’ve been a WRECK all day
#personal#he’s so excited#we’ve been talking about school for so long and he’s so excited that it’s finally here!#and a little nervous too he said but he keeps asking about the other kids and if he gets to have lots of friends now#he really liked his teacher when he met her and he’s excited to see her#the only thing that tripped him up a little was when I told him that me and his daddy are bringing him to the school but we can’t go with#that he has to just listen to his teacher and we’ll see him after school 🥺#I’m mostly worried that he’s not going to get enough food at school because he doesn’t eat very fast at home#he doesn’t focus well on meals#I’m hoping that positive peer pressure helps him with that#if he sees the other kids eating he will hopefully follow their lead#he’s going to be taking the bus home as well and I’m nervous about that for him too#even though it’s silly because his bus will pick him up in the morning and bring him directly to the school and then drop him off first#after school#he’ll be on it for maybe 20 minutes each day#I just worry too much#i worry about how issues he might have that I can’t help with like what if it’s too cold in just one room#but I don’t know that and send him in shorts?#or what if he gets teased for things I can’t anticipate right now? how can I best set him up for success with his peers?#I only know what he likes not what other five year olds like#I don’t want him to feel like the odd one out#but maybe that’s inevitable at some point#I can’t protect him from the world if im not there 😔#that’s the hardest thing about it#obviously this is supposed to happen and school will be so good for him#but he was a tiny little baby just yesterday#at least that’s how it feels#they say it goes by fast but damn
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itspileofgoodthings · 8 months ago
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Well, I actually have the most mundane of questions, but it’s been so long since I’ve been in an English class that I feel like I’ve completely forgotten (and I’m curious how you do it): how do you go about reading a book as a class? Do you assign them the chapters to read at home and most of them actually do it? Or do you give them class time to read? Do you have the kids who try to spoil the rest of the book for the class? Basically, how does one teach a book in the year 2024?  😀
And do you have your students annotate inside their books? (I know the English teachers in my school require the students to do that, and I get why, but I inwardly shudder every time I see a student marking up a page.) 
Haha I love this question because I too am always asking myself how DOES one teach a book in 2024?
It’s sort of a combination. I absolutely assign reading every night (almost) unless it’s Shakespeare or any play in which case we read it all in class. But for a novel there’s a couple chapters a night. I read aloud to them a lot too. Sometjmes I make them read aloud to the whole class, rotating kids who read. Sometimes I assign a chapter to be read in class silently with questions or quotes due at the end of the reading. Sometimes I put them in groups and make them read aloud to each other. There’s no one way that works for sure and of course ultimately I have no control over how much they read and I’m not naive enough to think that most of the reading assigned for homework doesn’t get skipped most of the time buuuuuut.
My bottom line is that I believe it’s my job to get excited about the actual text itself (easier for me in some cases than others but overall pretty easy because it does fill me with excitement) and then commit to taking them on the journey of the story with me. And my goal—that I’m sure I often don’t reach—is to make that experience so much more fun if you have actually read. And the way that I teach is pretty text heavy which is why I always make sure I’ve read the chapters for the day and am not just relying on my memory because the way I do it is just sort of absorbing it all up like a vacuum-cleaner, schwooooop, and then either pulling stuff out of the reading to look at directly or directing them to do the same thing. So the big thing that I have going for me, if any, is buy-in. Is getting kids excited about actually reading the actual text. I also speak often and passionately about the evils of sparknotes etc. not because they help kids get better grades or whatever but because they present you with the husk and shell of a story, stripped of all that makes it interesting, and that by reading that alone they’re reading something so dry and dull and are not achieving what I always want them to achieve —which is, have an Experience with the Literature.
Again, it never works perfectly by any stretch and there are so many ways I want to explore in my quest to get better at it but overall I think, at my very best, I can create this wave of energy and excitement in the story itself which is the most organic and ultimately most helpful way to get them to want to read.
Also no haha. I don’t let them annotate! Though occasionally kids DO of course. But sometimes they bring in their own copies in order to do that. The spoilers absolutely happen and are annoying but I sort of get by it by moving on very quickly and/or talking about how it’s often not the ending but how you get there that makes it interesting. Because that’s just true!
#gosh does this answer make sense#I am so passionate about doing it well and there are huge gaps in my teaching in terms of concrete stuff#but I am doing ….. Something in terms of bringing literature closer to them#and that’s what I want to do!#also love love love the bonus of getting to reread great works over and over until they start sinking into my brain#and I think (well I usually don’t think about it) but I think that the experience for them of watching me read it again#(and sometimes literally I won’t have time to read I need 10 minutes to finish this chapter and tell them to shut up)#(while I sit there and read it)#reminds them that I AM committed to doing the work with them. that I am actually doing it and that I want to!#and idk I think that is both a rarer experience and one that’s kind of underrated in terms of how much warmth it can create#because I have nothing in common with 16 year olds we couldn’t be friends in real life without it being very weird/possibly inappropriate#but in class we have a Thing to be friends about#we have a shared goal! and not just an arbitrary one but a deeply beautiful one#idk. there’s still a lot of boredom a lot of pushback a lot of disinterest#but I’m always amazed at how often kids do want to …. idk sink their teeth into something real#it’s REAL food for their minds. and the hunger for it is there even if they decide they’re too lazy to join the group#my goal is to —merely by the situation itself—make you feel left out of the fun if you refuse to do the work#so you can CHOOSE that but it’s less fun. it’s cold. it’s boring and it’s isolating#because refusing to do the work and insisting on being a little toad SHOULD come with natural social punishments in the form of exclusion#from the best kind of fun. it often does NOT. but yeah. I think I’m also getting better at shutting down toad behavior from adolescent male#this is where teaching co-Ed helps because there are some girls who are like ‘if you stop my learning I will kill you’#not ENOUGH girls but some#ooooof this is a long answer but literally always on my mind#thank you for asking!!! also haha I assumed you were an English teacher yourself!
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lesbiansanemi · 23 days ago
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My old hs history and government teacher came into work today????? Crazy cuz we are four hours away from my hometown. But I saw him and literally got so excited he was one of my favorite teachers and he was excited to see me too and gave me a hug and asked how I was doing that was such a nice unexpected thing and it made me really happy
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bonewhiteglory · 11 months ago
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I started volunteering in my friend’s kindergarten last month and like… I love these kids so much it’s unreal. They’re so sweet and weird! One of the kids drew me this killer Mario art and I’m gonna frame it and hang it on my wall.
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in-tua-deep · 2 years ago
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guess who showed up in my dream last night!
if you guess “early hobbit cartoon gandalf” then you were right!
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#my dreams#time travel dream#i should elaborate more because it was a complex dream that focused on the protagonist AND antagonist and had two separate eras#time-travel to the past plot and post-plot where the antagonist had to learn to live with himself after#old man gandalf was a wizard named 'bulo' who was ??? very cryptic and responsible for some of the time travel stuff i think.#i remember being the antagonist (now a young adult) with his child self running from a monster#(baby self had just found out i was him because we had the same disability which included muscle spasms in our bad leg)#(i think i was a student teacher because i was trying to make sure he wouldn't turn out like me)#but anyway we were running from a monster and spotted bulo outside the window#well my baby self did and asked who it was#and i remember banging on the window and screaming for him. which is the only reason i know bulo's name#and he looked at me. and he *looked* at me. and then he turned away.#and i remember the feeling of utter betrayal and helplessness because fuck. i knew i'd been a villain. but baby me was still just like#he was just a shitty kid?? a bully maybe but we were trying to get better#protagonist had an easier time of it because he time traveled as school ended and his baby self was leaving to live in miami#so when we returned to the future still in our grown bodies. he became a student teacher as well but didn't have to deal with his baby self#shoutout to my evil druid friend though who was also trying to help save baby me#well she wasn't like EVIL evil but like. i think she was corrupted and protagonist ended up saving her#but we were 'previous antagonists fucked up by what we had done' solidarity#i think i kidnapped her in the past at one point??#she just fucked off to live in the forest and didn't even talk to protagonist after everything i think. maybe out of shame#but me (antagonist) and her (i think her name was iob or ios or something with an i) were very very weird friends#bulo you fucker#to clarify we like. time traveled as seven-or-eight year olds into the past (????) and grew up there before being slingshotted back
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enzoid23 · 1 year ago
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As an ex-sixth grader, he is correct
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#sixth yrade was wild#people fought in the halls and the teachers who tried to stop them couldnt#i got strangled once#a friend convinced me to engage in what was probably a kink in the middle of PE#a girl brough alcohol and sprayed it in a kid's eyes and was drunk already all in first period#my most normal friend helped me skip a class and i hid in the bathroom and she started asking how that was 💀#me and my friends competitively played the knife game so often i had to bring bandsids to school#me and a friend sat right in front of the teacher and still got to play fight mid-clsss#we only got even warned when it got to the point of dragging eachother under the desk#on the last day of school during pe there were pennies all over the gym and nobody knew where they came from#including the pe teachers#who were in there the previous period#meaning that someone came in and threw pennies everywhere inbetween periods without getting caught#after i left a girl started a rumor i called someone daddy#the ride over was like 15-30 minutes and the bus ride was like an hour an a half despite stopping at one single location#once i saw lighting appear to strike directly in front of the bus#it didnt but it looked like it did#the building was like visibly old and probably only had just eniugh care to not crumble/get an infestation#my mom had to bring me something once during first period and could hesr our class from like the other side of the hall#kids like threw stuff and played on their phones and got into fights etc durijg first period#the teacher did not care#meanwhile 6th period would yell if you breathe too loud#me and my best friend snuck our phones and a tube of candy to an assembly and didnt get caught despite a teacher standing right behind us#the special ed couldnt handle a 7 student class despite them all being pleasant and obedient when not distracted by something#it was kinda fun though#minus getting strangled#that sucked#still prefer it over my back being touched#(i genuinely couldnt breathe though 💀 it wasnt even like hardly breathing no i could not inhale nor exhale until she let me go)#(she thought it was funny apparently but she did let me go so uhbthats giood)
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karemandohan1999 · 5 months ago
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🙏😔Stop, please 😔🙏
Don't ignore me, listen to our sad story💔🥹🍉
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My name is Kariman Dohan, I am 25 years old. I was a committed and diligent teacher, and my husband, Ayman Olwan, 30 years old, is a business administration graduate, but due to unemployment and difficult conditions in Gaza, he was forced to work as a fisherman. We have a wonderful son named Hamoud, who is one and a half years old. We live in Gaza, specifically Khan Yunis, where the fishing boat, fishing equipment and the school where I worked were damaged،Everything we relied on to survive has collapsed: our home, my job, and my husband’s income. We are struggling daily to endure the cold, hunger, and the continuous bombing that threatens our lives every moment🥹💔
🥹🫂💔😭😭😭😭
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We have been displaced several times, and our tragedy has reached the point that we now live in a tent that is unfit for living. We desperately need your help, I have launched a donation campaign but I cannot get the funds so I can get $75000 to get through this current crisis.
Or through PayPal
Before the war and after the war, this is what happened to us😔💔
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................
I know that the world is full of people who want to help others, and you are one of them. Please be with us in this ordeal and share your donation to help us get out of these difficult situations🫂🥹🥹🙏🙏🍉
Donate, share and be the reason for our happiness 🙏❤️🫂🥹🍉😭🇵🇸💔😣
Donation Link
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kianamaiart · 1 month ago
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"Pretty Pretty Please I Don't Want to be a Magical Girl" Bios!
NAME: Aika (she/her) AGE: 15 Main Protagonist CV: Anairis Quiñones
BIO:
Aika is an easily excitable and energetic girl. She's generally optimistic and very friendly. She's always eager to try new things as long as it's not her fulltime job of being a magical girl.
As soon as her magical girl duties are brought into the picture, her demeanor changes. She checks out, and often looks for the quickest solution to solve the issue. No flashy transformations and special moves here. She's good with a metal baseball bat or a rocket launcher.
All Aika wants is to live a normal life, make friends and go to school. Unfortunately, like every main protagonist, trouble manages to follow her wherever she goes.
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NAME: Zira (she/they) AGE: 16 Love Interest Best Friend CV: Bennett Abara
BIO:
Zira is everything Aika wants to be. Painfully average, under the radar and a self proclaimed loser.
She's a smart girl but has a hard time applying herself. Instead of paying attention in school, and doing extracurriculars, Zira would much rather be reading her favorite magical girl manga "Moon Sailor".
After Aika forces her friendship upon them, Zira now has to tag along on all of Aika's escapades and experiences new things. Ew. However, they admire Aika deeply and admire her even more after Aika's magical secret comes to light.
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NAME: Hoshi (any/they/them) AGE: unknown Magical Sidekick CV: Christine Marie Cabanos
BIO:
Hoshi is a magical star being sent to Earth to find the chosen one. They made a great choice with Aika, as she's amazing at her job. The only issue is she hates it and is often trying to dodge responsibilities (and Hoshi).
When Aika first started, and still had her heart in it, Hoshi was definitely more neurotic and acted as your typical mentor/magical sidekick. But over time, they gave up on trying to tell Aika what to do and also became a little more apathetic. Aika was getting the job done at least, so what's the problem?
Hoshi still has to make sure Aika doesn't completely give up on being the Star Guardian: Guardian of the Stars, which Aika finds annoying.
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NAME: Eclipse (he/him) AGE: 15 Minor Antagonist CV: Aleks Le
BIO:Eclipse is a flamboyant and theatrical individual whose showmanship is out of this world. He refers to himself as
"Eclipse: Servant of Darkness".
He was a D-list antagonist that Aika and her team would fight on occasion. Mostly just saving citizens from him being a nuisance. Eclipse has deluded himself into thinking that he's Aika's rival, main antagonist and love interest. Their love is simply forbidden as he's chosen the path of darkness and her, the light.
After Aika ran away, he managed to find her again. However this time he actually has powers??? Where did those come from? It's as if he's made a deal with darkness itself.
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NAME: Lady DeVoid (she/her) AGE: Old Main Antagonist/Big Bad CV: Shara Kirby
BIO: Lady DeVoid is darkness itself. She's a mysterious being with an incomprehensible amount of power. Power that is currently weakened and that she actually has no idea how to use. She can't seem to remember for some reason...
All she knows is that a long time ago she was defeated and banished by a Star Guardian and that she now wants revenge. The only power she has at her disposal is creating particles of darkness that she can use to possess animate or inanimate objects to create monsters. She prefers others do her dirty work.
She enlists the help of Eclipse to spread these particles with the hopes that it'll eventually destroy the Star Guardian.
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NAME: Miss (she/her) AGE: 39 Side Character CV: Michele Knotz
BIO:
Miss is Aika and Zira's very tired teacher. Looking at her, you might assume she hates her job, but it's quite the opposite. She pours everything into her work and into her students, leaving very little time for her personal life.
She's recently started trying to get it together (after her ex-wife left her) but is still struggling to find that work-life balance.
Prior to Aika enrolling, Miss was Zira's only friend at school and, though she'd never admit it, Zira's probably the closest thing she has to a friend also (oof). She's subsequently become a secret Moon Sailor fan too.
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daisukekambehateaccount · 6 months ago
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negativity ahead be cautious
is feeling indescribably shitty every single day even more so than normal for the past three months seasonal depression even if there are only 2 seasons in your country
#repressed anger is a b#i think i am gonna reach my limit for this half of the year very soon#anger management issues + avoidant attachment style is like the most bad person thing ever#i mean if you have those you're not a bad person don't listen to me#i am so tired#my eczema and gastrointestinal issues are flaring up like crazy#which means my anxiety is getting worse and worse because it's the only reason i have so many physical health issues in the first place#senior year is effing me up#and i have the shittiest most anger-inducing history teacher known to man replacing my old history teacher#who wants us to do group presentations to cover the entire fucking rest of the syllabus that my old teacher didn't cover#because this fossil is so lazy to teach that everytime she enters the class it's a 50/50 chance that she gives a “back in my days” lecture#for either half the class or the entire class#i genuinely cannot even tolerate my parents anymore#it was easier to suck it up back when i didn't have many issues#but now i genuinely can't hold myself back from snapping at them#now the least hostile route i can go is feigning ignorance#ignoring them and trying not to appear in their line of sight#or staying in my room for as long as possible so I don't have to make contact with them#okay maybe it is my fault that my stomach literally eats itself every day#but if it helps me not unalive myself then i gotta do what i gotta do if ya know what i mean#can't i just sleep for the entire year#i bet my friends hate me for not replying to their texts for weeks#i was sleeping is such a shitty excuse#but i do sleep 16 hours a day#i genuinely can't do anything so i avoid everything by sleeping#the sound of my mom's voice amplified by the small space in the car actually triggers me#i hate it so fucking much when people sexualise arlecchino#she is not someone low scum like you can touch#and i think I've just been sucking up other people's negativity like a negativity vacuum#because my empathetic ass can't stand to see someone suffering without feeling their emotions
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mahmood11 · 29 days ago
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Please don't ship💔i need your help 🙏
Hello.. My name is Mahmoud Atta. I am 29 years old. I live in Gaza, Palestine.. I am looking for my life partner.😊 I used to work as an Arab teacher and I was looking for happiness, but suddenly my life turned around.💔 War was declared on Gaza without any advances. 🥺Tanks entered the neighborhood in which I live and the planes began bombing. 💔💔I found myself and my family trapped between shells. I miraculously escaped, only to find myself without shelter, without a bed, not even a place to go to the bathroom,💔 or even a meal. I couldn't find anything to eat I made myself a tent and lived in it out of nylon, 💔but it does not protect me from winter or from the sun. I am sorry that I am writing this, but this is the reality in which I live🥹💔. I ask you to stand with me so that I and my family can live. 💔💔Any donation will be good for me. Stand with and may God stand with you. Thank you for listening and donating😭😔
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lxnarphase · 8 months ago
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━━ ❝ the way of the househusband ❞
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☾₊‧⁺...cw : househusband!fushiguro toji x fem!reader, you are megumi's mom, flirting, playful banter, just overall silly and cute domestic life
☾₊‧⁺...lunar's note : just some simple lil toji hcs of him as a househusband! i need some sweet stuff of him without a lot of sexual stuff in it bc let's be real, in a domestic setting he's probably just a big clingy and mildly annoying bear husband
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f. toji is never going to complain about being the one staying home, watching over the little gremlin that is megumi. he's got his own ways of bringing in money with that friend of his, shiu, but he's more than content to being the one in the frilly pink apron, cooking for you and the lil' man.
toji didn’t ever expect to get married, especially after how he was treated as a zenin. he didn't know much about love or how to connect with people, let alone you. but when you handed his ass to him with no struggle and a pretty smile on your face at the gym, he knew he wanted you. two years later and a shit load of aggressive flirting, toji ends up with you as his spouse and he wouldn't have it any other way.
so imagine toji's surprise when he's genuinely excited when you tell him your pregnant. he's excited but scared. him? a father? there's no way in hell he has any idea what to do, his own father was nothing but a piece of shit...so what if he turns out like him? but the moment you pop that big headed little fucker out of you, toji can't help but grin, that excitement of being a father and creating memories with this tiny little thing erasing all his fears.
whenever you come home from work, toji's usually in the living room with little megumi, who forced him to take part in the exercise part of his favorite kids show. you don't know how megumi, your one year old baby who still talked in little babbles, forced his massive giant of a father who could kill a man with a look to do 'exercise for baby,' but you know better than to question it when you see the two touching their toes in front of the tv.
sometimes, he's in the kitchen, however, wearing that 'kiss the cook' apron you got for his birthday. toji always wraps an arm around your waist and pulls you into a kiss, muttering a 'welcome home’ against your lips before poking your side and going back to what he was doing, proud grin on his face at the little screech he gets from you.
he's started to get better at dodging your hands when you go to poke him back, skirting around the table before going to scoop megumi up. “you would never do such an act in front of 'gumi, would you? what if he starts going around poking girls in their sides, hm? then i'll have to explain to his teacher that his mama can't keep 'er hands to herself.”
toji's got you there...so you back off, opting to press a kiss to babygumi’s little forehead, taking him from your husband’s arms when he makes grabby hands at you. you savor the betrayed look on toji's face, sticking your tongue out at him. he scoffs, rolling his eyes before going back to make sure dinner wasn’t burnt. he’ll get you back for stealing his son from him.
despite what people might think, there’s not really a 'dominant' person in the relationship. when together, the two of you give off some of the most intimidating vibes because of the sheer power the both of you carry. it's not even put off by little megumi, because if he notices his parents looking at you in disgust, he's gonna give you one that's even worse.
toji will never forget the day the three of you went to the grocery store, him in his usual black t-shirt and grey sweatpants, you in one of those same shirts and leggings with megumi in the kiddie seat in the shopping cart, eating from the little snack pack toji made for him. toji swears he walked away for three fucking seconds, and he came back to some...fucker getting ready to chat you up. it’s no surprise anyone that he gets pissed, ready to storm over there and make it clear you're taken.
however, it's clear you don't need him to step in, and damn, you look...really hot telling this dude off, angrily flashing your ring when he wouldn't back off. god, he wishes he could marry you again. toji doesn’t even know what you told the guy, and he's tempted to playfully ask megumi what happened, knowing his lil' man would try to respond in babbles and coos.
“he said you crawled out from the trash, toj, i can't stand for that! he could’ve done you some justice and said you crawled out of the deepest pits of hell, so I had to educate him on that. besides, he called you my boyfriend and I almost punched his face.”  “yeah? hm, i’m glad you didn’t, babe, we don’t want to get kicked out the store.”  “i don’t know, i think an imprint of my ring in his forehead would get the message across.”  “well, next time, how about we just kiss like we haven't seen each other in 15 years? not a fan of showing out to some dude, but i'd do it for you, sweetheart.”  “mmn!”  “right, lil' man? mama's so mean t' me, it's a good idea.”  “gumiiii, you're supposed to be on my side!”
occassionally, when you're at work, toji'll just talk to megumi, the little one nice and comfy on his chest.
one habit he'll never get out of is randomly calling you throughout the day when he's particularly bored and missing you. if you don't answer, toji will just leave you a message, usually about how badly he wants you to come home, groaning about how tired he is but he can't sleep without you in his arms, without you playing with his hair until he falls asleep. he's so in love with you, it's almost makes you dizzy.
you'll never forget the day you come home to toji and baby megumi in the front yard, crouched down around...something. parking in the driveway, you make your way over and see what they're looking at. it's...a kitten and a puppy, two tiny little things playfighting with each other. neither one of them say anything, just looking at the two creatures. you sigh, knowing exactly what this means.
"...give them appropriate names and make vet appointments. we aren't naming the dog 'hot dog' and we aren't naming the cat 'kitten'." "i told you it would work, lil' man."
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all rights reserved © lxnarphase | do not repost, copy, translate, or alter my work
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void-tiger · 11 months ago
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…that moment when you’re quite literally told to Love Yourself, For GOD’S SAKE in front of the class 💀
#tiger’s musings#mental health bullshit#how bad is my anxiety?#that even with years of support from online friends before I finally got in with my therapist of two years#I literally trigger physical pain from carrying so much tension I exasporate my ligament issues#(that have alwsys existed but continue to get worse so it is even MORE critical of me to manage good singing hygeine and mental/physical)#…and before falling in love with someone Here who accepts me (and evidence indicates he likes me back)#who is just as awkward and anxious and arguably traumatized as me but so so kind and tenacious and funny anyway#I couldn’t begin to learn to feel Anything again#but feeling again also means feeling all the grief I couldn’t before and airing out my insecurities instead of trying to bandage&walkanyway#and yeah. having a voice professor NOW who doesn’t treat me like shit. will even throw his doctorate around for emphasis. that DOES help#because I’ve never been worth someone’s time if not outright bullied#always told my voice is Wrong. the music I would like to do after gaining training is Wrong#even to the point of having my name removed from auditions and told to my face I’m not a real musician#…I kinda feel like my current director would probably throw hands with my old voice teacher and director#and y’know what? they’d deserve it.#sorta like…I feel like I can say with shy anxious confidence…that the one I like now#would’ve stuck by me if we actually did grow up together#(but…even if he wouldn’t then…he would now.)
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ace-malarky · 1 year ago
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hghfhfff I have to like go and pick someone up from the airport in like. idk their flight has been Delayed maybe possibly so like a while
want to do something in the intervening time but I have to Drive there and like. I know I do not leave for an hour at least (it would have been this anyway) and do you think I can focus for shit
really
Maybe I poke at shapeshiftery stuff I haven't done anything with that since the start of the month lmao
#talkin' malarky#I haven't actually collapsed into an oversocialised heap which is. surprising. considering.#so many people today ''oh you may not remember me'' girlie you are so correct I remember nothing and no one#and yet still you Hug#still catching up with some people was good!!#my old latin teacher was there!!#I saw first fake crush's mother!!#made tentative plans to meet old family friend/babysitter at some point bc we both live in the same city#and then like oh god so many people who remember me bc I helped them/their kids/I'm related to them#but like. hhhhh haha yeah not that I remember#fun conversations; talking with younger bro's friend who went ''so I'm trans now'' and I said ''oh same hat''#catching up with oxford friend & her sibs#(one of whom has invited me over for tea at some point)#everyone going ''please contact me if it ever Gets Too Much''#like sir? ma'am? this is my Gets Too Much moment. do you realise how many people I have had to awkwardly take condolences from#it's not even about the death and the saying goodbye#it is the how to react to everyone around me#my brother started laughing in the service bc the last chord in the hymn was Suspect#(would have worked on an organ maybe. it was not an organ)#and our cousin assumed he was crying and reached out to comfort him#anyway is this me using up time on deciding what I'm going to do for the next hour or so. maybe.#gosh darn#don't you just love when the tags are longer than the post#anyway. at least an hour. idk send asks? I'm in the mood to Talk Characters possibly
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cowboy-heart · 19 days ago
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'BUTCH MANIFESTO'
inspired by 'FEMME SHARK MANIFESTO' by Leah Lakshmi Piepzna-Samarasinha
(ID under cut)
Ko-Fi (Commissions Open!)
[ID: an original poem titled 'BUTCH MANIFESTO'. the stanzas are all on the left side of the page and lineated, except for the first line, and last stanza. Poem begins:
Listen up! Butches hold it down! We don’t spend hundreds of pounds on designer clothes and black and white tuxes – we shop off the charity shop rack, hand-me-downs from our bois, our men, our women. Butch is not a glamour word - Butch is not for the white collars in their 9-5 and their office parties, Butch is not for the woman in a police uniform with short cropped hair, Butch is not for the masc who looks down on our femmes, Butch is not for the dumbass white people who call themselves stud, like our people haven’t taken enough from black lesbians, Butch is not for the politician or the soldier, it’s for those of us who get shit done and don’t throw anyone under the bus; who stand between our loved ones and the white-knuckled fist; it’s for the people who take a breath of relief when they get home and get to lay their head on the shoulder of their baby and say, it’s hard, and I need you right now; it’s for those of us with hard-soled feet, worn by hours of standing, just so people can buy some useless shit on a Sunday. Butch is for the primary school teachers, the neighbour keeping your package safe, the hairstylist, the barber, the youth worker, the locked up, the sectioned, the evicted, the boy on the dole. Butches hold each other up, Butches stand up for communities, no matter how different we might be.
Butches stand up for Butches, because only we know the shit we face, we don’t argue over what butch looks like for someone - their struggle doesn’t counteract ours. We’re brothers, sisters, siblings, lovers, mentors, we don’t fight over femmes or fight each other. We help up our siblings who can’t hold themselves up and shouldn’t have to.
Butch is recognising our hurt, our pain, and making sure nobody has to go through that, in the very least not alone. Butch is not reproducing that hurt, butch isn’t the transfem exclusion, the toxicity, it’s driving our girls and boys to the abortion clinic, it’s holding your femme’s hair back over the toilet bowl, it’s telling your darlin’ to take a deep breath, before you poke the needle into her thigh, it’s holding back on punching the catcaller because you know it’ll put your lover in more danger, it’s fishing in your closet for an old, dusty dress for your questioning girl, it’s never calling the cops, it’s carrying the Narcan, it’s gathering the funds for bail, it’s tipping the waiter, it’s kissing the bruised chin of a fellow butch who’s built like a brick shithouse.
Butch is not all muscle, able-bodied, white Butch is not all skinny and androgynous Butch is care Butch is NURTURE. Butch is a cane and an unsteady step Butch is putting down the ramp Butch is wheeling up it Butch is addict Butch is straight-edge Butch is diaspora Butch is desi Butch is antiracist Butch is socialist Butch is punk Butch is black Butch is brown Butch is fat Butch is fat-loving Butch is mental illness Butch is antipsych Butch is autism Butch is trans Butch is anger Butch is tears Butch is grief Butch is the old bull Butch is the closeted kid in a dress Butch is the baby dyke wearing a rainbow flag cape Butch is smile lines Butch is crinkled eyes Butch is crying in your friend’s beat-up car Butch is foetal position Butch is pink Butch is motherhood Butch is fatherhood Butch is cat-dad Butch is fucking Butch is getting fucked Butch is stone Butch is bashful Butch is humble Butch is cocky Butch is proud Butch is single Butch is uneducated Butch is poet Butch is poetry Butch is council estate Butch is gentleness Butch is bones and spit and the soft curve of our lower backs the clenched jaw under a double chin the hard-eyes that any femme can see right through the estradiol the testosterone the carabiner clink the thick hands the cellulite the bloody pads the tampon string the mood swings the sagging tits the top surgery scars the swinging cock the hairy pussy the protruding t-dick the leather harness.
Butch is eternity Butch is sewn into the fabric of atoms Butch is love and solidarity Butch is never leaving anyone behind and never selling anyone out.
End poem. In the bottom right corner, the poet is signed as 'Ren H.' End ID].
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