#(baby self had just found out i was him because we had the same disability which included muscle spasms in our bad leg) | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

jenonctcity · 5 years ago

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My Beginning - Part 3

Differences – Lee Jeno

Part of the Bad Boy Series.

Badboy!Au, Streetfighter!Au

Warnings: Mentions of mental health, Disability (blindness), Mild Violence, Mentions of suicide.

Word Count: 5.3k

“It’s hard being a father.” Renjun’s words rang through Jeno’s head like a school bell echoing through empty halls. The words bouncing around and causing his headache to build every time his head repeated the words in his brain. He let out a sigh, his head resting against the back of the sofa and his eyes shut, not that it would matter if they were open, he couldn’t see either way. He just preferred to keep his eyes closed, it meant he didn’t have to remember to blink when his eyes started to dry out or irritate. For the past week, Jeno’s world had been pitch black. Mentally, emotionally, and physically. With blindness came a sense of self-pity, boredom, and the overwhelmingness of relying on others to do basic tasks. It wasn’t only the blindness that was dousing his normal way of living with stress and worry. It was also the fact that you were carrying his unborn child. A child he did not want. Despite having you with him almost 24/7 because of his accident, the two of you still had yet to talk about the elephant in the room. You both kept putting the topic off and instead focused more on how to cope with Jeno’s lack of sight. You had quit university. It was a decision that was hard for you to make, but you knew it was the right thing to do. Jeno only had his friends to rely on, and they couldn’t be there for him as much as you could. So you quit your studies. Jeno had a lot of money saved up and had gotten Renjun to sell his car on for a hefty price too, so you could both live comfortably for the foreseeable future. Of course the money would run out eventually, but hopefully by that time, you would have solutions to your problems.

Jeno could still hear your whimpers echoing around his head with Renjun’s words. The whimpers you had let out when you’d walked back into the hospital room with a cup of water and found a doctor examining Jeno’s eyes, only to be told your boyfriend had lost his sight because of the damage done from the accident. Your knees buckled and luckily Jaemin had caught you before you’d hit the floor. Jeno just laid there and listened to you sob into his best friends’ chest for what seemed like hours. He felt numb, despite all the pain he was in, and he was at a loss of what to do. He was blind, with a baby on the way. He’d never felt more useless in his entire life as he laid in that bed and stared at the darkness. Jaemin had calmed you down, with promises whispered into your hair of everything being okay. The doctor had told you that it was rare for people to lose their sight permanently from head injuries, but it could happen, and only time would tell.

“When they’re babies, you think it’s easy to take care of them and then boom, they get diarrhoea, they wiggle around a bit, and shit goes all up their back.” Jeno could almost hear the smirk in Renjun’s voice. He let out another sigh and shook his head.

“Shut up.” He grunted, clenching his fists by his side as he tried to keep calm.

“You have to be cautious of the three S’s, screaming, sick, and shit.”

“You have to be cautious of my fists Renjun.” Jeno growled, lifting his head and turning it into the direction of Renjun. “I may be blind, but I can still hear you, and I will beat the fuck out of you if you don’t shut up.” He mumbled, his threat sounding weak causing Renjun to know he didn’t mean it.

“Alright daddy, keep your diaper on.” Renjun sniggered, reaching out and patting Jeno on the shoulder. “You’ll be fine Jen; you have all of us here to support you and I am the best dad in the world. Jiyeon is still alive!”

“You forgot her name yesterday...” Jeno deadpanned with a frown on his face.

“That was because all I’ve heard for the past few days is baby names! You know I’m about to have another one, it’ll be arriving any day now.” Renjun and his girlfriend had decided not to find out what gender their baby was, instead waiting and discussing baby names constantly. She was 4 days overdue and the baby would be arriving at any time.

“I’m pretty sure she is the one who takes care of you most of the time.” Jeno let out a soft laugh, his head turning to the sound of the door as it creaked open.

“Hey.” You greeted quietly as you walked through the door, smiling at Renjun and placing the grocery bags on the kitchen counter. “Is he okay?” You mouthed silently at Renjun, to which you received a smile and a curt nod. You rushed over to the sofa and slowly sat beside Jeno, not wanting to alarm him. He had been flinching a lot more and his nerves were constantly on edge if he couldn’t hear where everyone in the room was. “Hey handsome.” Your voice was soft, and you took his clenched fist into both of your hands. Jeno let out a long sigh and roughly pulled you into a tight hug. He breathed in, basking in your scent and rubbing his cheek against your own. This was the most affection he had given you since before his accident, and you felt like crying at the sudden love he was projecting onto you.

“I’m tired and fed up of hearing Renjun’s voice.”

“Fuck you, blind ass bitch.” Renjun muttered with a laugh.

“Do you kiss your daughter with that mouth?” Jeno shot back, pushing himself to his feet and lacing his fingers with your own.

“Do you know how to use protection?” Your eyes widened as the boys kept trying to push each other’s buttons. You knew they were both only jesting and that neither of them meant any harm, so you silently started to tug Jeno towards his room as he continued to argue with Renjun.

“Right back at ya, whore.” You closed the door once you’d gotten Jeno into his room, letting out a sigh and gently pushing him to sit on his bed.

“Well I’m glad that you’re still arguing with your friends.” You laughed softly, taking off your jacket and sitting behind Jeno on the bed. You grabbed a hairbrush and ran your hand through his hair, brushing it gently and being careful of the wound he had gotten from hitting his head on the floor. “How’s your head?”

“Painful, I have a headache too.” He sighed, leaning into your touch and relaxing. You’d gotten used to taking care of him as though he was your own child. He could probably do more for himself than you would allow him to, but you didn’t want him to hurt himself yet, so you were just being extra cautious with him. Silence fell between you both, and you pressed a kiss to the top of his head, having to lean up on your knees to reach. “We have to talk about the baby. We’ve been avoiding it since we got home, and it needs to be talked about.”

“Okay.” You sighed, moving to sit beside him and looking down at your feet. “I should have made you aware I wasn’t on the pill, I’m sorry.”

“It’s my fault too. It takes two people to make a baby and we were both irresponsible.” He faced forward, his voice sounding low but with a soft timber to it. You felt nauseous just from the conversation, not knowing where it would take you and what decisions you would make between the two of you. “I’m not ready for kids…I had it in my head that I would never be a parent, so this is…fucking with my head.” He ran has hands over his face and let out a groan. You could see he was battling with what to say, and you had a feeling he was going to lose his temper more than once in the upcoming months.

“Well…we should have talked about this before we started having sex. We had sex nearly everyday and you came inside of me nearly every time! Why did you not think to ask me about whether I was on contraceptive?!” You felt frustration coursing through you at how things had happened. You were too caught up the honeymoon phase of your relationship to even think about talking to him about what you both wanted in the future. You knew you wanted kids, and it didn’t bother you when you had them, especially since you were so infatuated with Jeno, you just felt like you were ready. Had you known he didn’t feel the same way, you would have done things different.

“Why the fuck didn’t you tell me not to finish inside of you?!” He shot right back at you, his own temper flaring up at your tone of voice. He couldn’t see you, which was making him frustrated because it was hard to tell how you were reacting based just off of your words and tone of voice.

“I wasn’t exactly a sex expert! I just laid on my back most of the time and let you do your thing, you know you’re my first for this, how was I supposed to guess that you were going to finish inside of me every fucking time!” It was starting to turn into a shouting match as you both expressed your opinions. Jeno didn’t want to admit that his breeding kink was what caused him to do it, because honestly, he felt stupid for not being cautious with his kink.

“This isn’t what I fucking wanted.” He stood up quickly, his fists clenching. He needed to hit something, but he couldn’t see what he was hitting, and there was no way in hell that he would endanger you by throwing fists blindly. You didn’t say anything to him, staying dead silent as you stewed in your thoughts and feels. Your silence made him snap. “Say something!!!”

“Are you going to leave me…?” The heart-breaking tone in your voice had Jeno’s hands unclenching and his chest rising and falling as he took a deep breath. His pause had tears welling up in your eyes, and you were glad he couldn’t see your watery eyes.

“No.” He shook his head, running a hand through his hair and gripping it tightly. You sniffed, trying to make sure that your voice was stable.

“Do you want me to get an abortion?” Your voice cracked as you spoke, warm tears falling down your cool cheeks and siting on your chin, waiting for the heaviness of more tears to fall to drip onto your tensed hands.

“No.” He answered faster this time, his own tears pooling in his eyes.

“Do you still love me?” You reached out and took one of his hands in both of your own. His fingers laced with yours, and he used your hand as a guide to sit himself back down on the bed.

“Of course I do.” He raised your hands to his lips and pressed a soft kiss to your fingertips. “Look, it’s going to take a long time for me to adjust to this, and I’m not going to lie to you and tell you that I’m happy about having a baby. But I love you, and I don’t want to lose you. So we’ll make it work and I’m going to be there for you and the baby…our baby.” He wrapped his arms around you and pulled you close to him. You squeezed him tightly, burying your head into the crook of his neck and letting out a soft sob.

“Thank you.” You whispered, kissing his jaw with a quick peck and relishing in being in his arms once more.

---

Haechan had never seen Jeno more down and depressed before in his life. It was hurting his heart to see Jeno sit on the sofa and wallow in self-pity, with the cloud of his disability and despair sitting around his head like a poisonous fog. Jeno was someone who needed to let go of his pent-up emotions, and he always did it with fighting. But he couldn’t do that easily without his sight. Haechan had been worried about Jeno’s mental health, especially because Jeno couldn’t wrap his head around the fact he was going to be a father. He’d created a life, and he knew he’d have a responsibility he had never originally signed up for. It was when Haechan had walked in on Jeno laid on the floor on his back with tear streaks on his cheek that Haechan had finally snapped.

“Get up Jeno.” He snapped with a dominating tone, kicking Jeno in the leg lightly.

“No.” He grunted back at him, not even moving a muscle.

“Get the fuck up. We’re going somewhere.” He left the room, leaving Jeno on the floor to quickly pack up a bag of things in Jeno’s room. When he came back, he saw Jeno sat up on the floor. “Get up!”

“Why?!”

“I’m fed up of you sitting there feeling sorry for yourself all of the time, we’re going to the gym. Come on!” They were teetering on it being an argument as Haechan grabbed Jeno by the collar and lifted him to his feet. Jeno shoved Haechan away roughly.

“Fuck off. I lost my sight and I’m having a baby I don’t fucking want. If I want to feel sorry for myself then I fucking will.” He growled, smacking Haechan’s hand away when it landed on his shoulder. “Don’t act like you suddenly give a fuck about me. Leave me alone.”

“Jeno you’re my fucking brother, I’m done with you not doing anything, it’s been a month and all you do is sit around and mope about the cards you’ve been dealt like no one else has any problems!!!” He shouted, causing his girlfriend to come out of their room with wide eyes.

“Hyuck, what are you doing?” Her voice made Jeno’s head hurt more.

“You can fuck off too!!!” He couldn’t help the words from leaving his mouth. She flinched, her eyes widening at the sudden attack. “You broke my heart and then tell my new girlfriend about what I’m like when I’m sleeping?! Yeah, I haven’t forgotten about that, it was as though you were trying to sabotage my happiness, but poor Jeno is a fucking push over who always lets everyone use him as a fucking doormat, so he never said anything!!!” He practically screamed, finally getting everything off of his chest. Jaemin and Renjun also appeared from their rooms, ready to step in in case anything happened. “Everyone thinks they can just say whatever they want to me or screw me over because I’m too kind to do anything about it. Fuck you all!” Jeno had tears streaming down his face that had everybody’s stomachs turning in guilt.

“Jeno calm down, this isn’t good for you.” Jaemin’s voice nearly had Jeno calming, but then his back went back up again and he shook his head, turning to where he had heard Jaemin’s voice come from.

“Don’t tell me to calm down you hypocrite, you’re the first person to get yourself into a state so bad that I have to talk you out of not killing yourself! Have I ever told you to calm down?! No! Because I know it doesn’t work. You don’t understand the pressure you put on me Jaemin, I’m constantly worried about whether I’m going to lose my best friend to depression.” He started to sob more, all of his thoughts spilling out because he couldn’t deal with them all being bundled up in his head anymore. Jaemin’s face fell and his stomach dropped through to the ground floor of the apartment building.

“Jen…” He rushed over to his best friend and bundled him up into his arms, Jeno broke down completely, his knees almost buckling as he sobbed on Jaemin’s shoulder. Jaemin silently cried as he cuddled his best friend. “I’m so sorry.”

“I can’t do it anymore; I can’t see, I’m not ready to have a baby, and people need to leave me the fuck alone.” He whimpered into Jaemin’s shoulder. “I need to process this in my own time, but everyone is rushing me!”

“Jeno, it’s going to be okay. Let it out.” He rubbed Jeno’s back, swaying them both gently. Everyone else silently left the room, letting them be alone so that Jaemin could calm Jeno down. Haechan felt horrible, he was only trying to help, but he went about it the wrong way and ended up causing his best friend to have a complete mental breakdown.

“My life has just always been a mess…then I finally meet a girl I fall in love with that hasn’t hurt me, and now I can’t even see her…Jaemin I’m starting to forget what she looks like and it hurts so much.”

“I know, I know.” He moved them both to the sofa and settled Jeno on there tenderly.

“If I wasn’t blind…I would have left.” He mumbled, looking down at his hands and feeling like the worst person in the world for saying that.

“You don’t mean that.” Jaemin shook his head and tapping Jeno on the leg. “Don’t say things you don’t mean.”

“I’m not sure if I meant it or not.”

---

It had been 5 months since you and Jeno had came to an understanding about your baby. The past months had been difficult for you both. Jeno’s disability had been tough on you and him, but together the two of you were working through it. There had been some rough spots, like the time Jeno had tripped over his own feet and had ended up with a black eyes for a few weeks, or the time when you were super emotional because of you hormones and he snapped at you about something minor, leading you to cry on Jaemin’s shoulder for 3 hours solid. You had notice that he was still super hesitant to talk about the baby, and he would very rarely bring it up, only talking about it when someone else talked about it first. He had taken very little interest in his own child and had only touched your small bump when he was cuddling you in bed. Also, his vision hadn’t come back at all, which was making the tension inside of him get stronger and stronger the more the time went by.

“Tell your child to stop kicking me.” You mumbled, half asleep under the covers of Jeno’s bed. He was cuddling up to your neck and laying the softest of kisses to your hot skin, his lips trailing up your jaw and getting closer to your lips until he heard your words. He sighed and let out a soft groan, sitting up and placing his hand on your leg, trailing it up until he got to the small mound on your abdomen where his baby was cooking.

“It’s not kicking though?” He furrowed his eyebrows, twisting his body so he was facing your bump and placing both of his hands on it. “I can’t feel anything.” Jeno hadn’t felt the baby kick yet, he hadn’t been interested enough to ask if he could feel it whenever you made an offhanded comment about it moving, kicking, or hiccupping. You were actually taken by surprise when he’d placed his hands on the bump instead of just shrugging your words off.

“Wait a second...” You giggle and take his hands in your, moving them to either side of the bump and very gently putting pressure on them so his fingers dug in slightly. “There, feel that?” You smiled widely, watching the gentle look wash over his face as he felt his baby move for the first time. He nodded quickly, his whole body relaxing and a small smile tugging at his lips. You’d read online that the first time a father feels his child moving inside of the mother, could be a magical moment. And this was the first time you’d seen Jeno be paternal towards his unborn child, so it did feel magical to you. He suddenly pulled his hands away and cleared his throat.

“I’m worried that my sight won’t come back.” He laid back down on his side, pulling your body against his and letting out a sigh that sent a shiver down your spine. “It’s been over 5 months and I still can’t see shit…what if I never get to see our baby?”

“Jeno, give it some more time, the doctor said it could take up to a year for you to see any improvements. Don’t give up hope.” You leaned in and brushed your lips against his. His lips sought after your own when you withdrew them, causing you to smile softly and push them back against his.

“Thank you for taking care of me.” He whispered against your lips, moving the two of you so that he was half laying on top of you, being cautious of your stomach.

“You don’t have to thank me.” The kiss turned filthy, his tongue flicking against your own with one of his hands moving up to rub at your breast over your pyjama shirt. You felt arousal heat your body up for the first time in a while. You’d had sex with Jeno a couple of times since his accident, but it was getting harder to do the further along you got in your pregnancy, and Jeno often wasn’t in the mood whenever you were. “I need you.” You whispered into his mouth, gently giving his chest a push. He laid down on his back and got comfortable, his hands reaching out and trying to find your hips as you climbed on top of him. You straddled his hips, making quick work off pushing down your pyjama shorts and pushing Jeno’s boxers down just enough to pull his hardening cock out.

“Be careful baby.” Jeno muttered breathily, his hands finding purchase on your hips to keep you steady on him. You leaned down as far as you could, trying to reach his lips and letting out a whine when your bump wouldn’t allow you to get any closer to him. Jeno heard your whine and his eyebrows furrowed. “What’s wrong?”

“I want a kiss, but I can’t reach!” You giggled through a whine, giving up and sitting back on your knees. Jeno chuckled lightly, then let out a long moan when you sunk down onto his cock, your warm walls sucking him in and sending a dull sensation of pleasure through you.

“Fuck baby, I’ve missed this.” He squeezed his shut eyes tighter, leaning his head back on the pillows. You placed your hands on his chest and rolled your hips, grinding down on his cock with vigour. He planted his feet on the bed, bucking his hips up to meet your own once you started to bounce, his cock hitting you in all the right places. You knew neither of you were going to last long, the ball inside of your stomach tightening the more you moved on top of him. He kept his hands tight to your sides, making sure you didn’t accidentally topple off of him as his thrusts got harder.

“Jeno I’m gonna cum!” You squealed, almost falling forward as you felt the fire of your orgasm rip through you, your thighs shaking and pussy convulsing around his solid cock.

“Shit!” Jeno opened his eyes as he came, his hips stuttering and his eyes immediately tearing up when he saw your blurry silhouette in the light of the room. “Fuck.” He bursts into tears, shutting his eyes immediately and letting go of your hips to cover his eyes with his hands.

“Jeno? What’s wrong?!” You carefully moved off of him, crawling beside him and trying to pull his hands from his face. “Are you okay?”

“I’m fine baby.” He sniffled, rubbing his eyes and smiling through his tears. “I just love you so much. Thank you for looking past all the shit in my life and seeing the good.” He didn’t want you to know about his improvement, just in case it was a fluke and he went back to being completely blind permanently.

“Oh Jeno.” You melted on the inside at seeing him weep from the reason he gave you. “I love you too.” You leaned down, finally able to from the angle you were now sitting in and gave him a kiss on the cheek.

---

Jeno had been keeping a huge secret from you. One he was actually surprised that he could keep a secret because of how much time he spent with you. But it had been two months since he first got a sliver of his vision back. And he could happily tell people that he could officially see again and was no longer classed as legally blind. His vision wasn’t the same as it once was, but he could now see clearly if he had on his new glasses. After finding out about his improving sight, he’d asked Renjun to take him to and from appointments so that he could keep it silent from you in order to surprise you when the time was right. He did admit to Renjun that when he saw you for the first time with your pregnant belly, he had a nervous breakdown. The whole situation of becoming a father finally dawning on him as he saw you struggle to put on your socks. He didn’t help you, mostly because it would have given his surprise away, which yes, he does feel bad for, but you got your socks on in the end!

Something Jeno never could have prepared himself for was when you woke him up at 3am, complaining of pains in your abdomen and whining about the food you had eaten earlier on in the day. He had cuddled you, stroked your hair, and told you to go back to sleep. You’d managed to drift off, but an hour later, you were whining even more because the pain had gotten worse, and the pain was coming in waves that didn’t seem to be slowing down, but instead of speeding up. It was when the bed suddenly became wet and Jeno had thought that you’d peed on him when you realised you were going into labour. The next thing you did was cry, because you weren’t supposed to be due for another 6 weeks, so the baby was more than a month early. Jeno had shouted for Renjun, who had come running in his pyjamas to help the two of you out. You couldn’t thank Renjun enough for all the help he’d been giving the two of you since you found out that you were going to become parents. Sure he loved to clown you both about it, but he was also a big help with getting ready for the baby’s arrival.

When you’d arrived at the hospital, you’d been taken to a room to be prepared for giving birth. You were frightened, because you knew your baby wasn’t going to be as big as most babies, and anything could happen. Jeno had been sat at your bedside through all of your contractions, his hand being held tight in your own and his lips on your forehead whispering words on encouragement. You wondered why he was wearing the glasses that he had told you were simply for fashion and because he felt strange walking around with his eyes shut, but the thought quickly rushed from your head when a painful contraction hit you like a truck.

“Fuck!” You screamed, not usually cursing but the word just tumbled from your lips as you squeezed Jeno’s hand tightly.

“You’re doing so well babe.” He kissed your sweaty forehead, pushing back the messy hair of your forehead and watching as some midwives entered the room. His heart was pounding in his chest, he knew there was no going back now, his life was about to change forever. But he didn’t know whether it was for the good or bad.

“It’s time to push now sweetheart.” The midwife said to you, her and her colleague prepping you to give birth. Jeno took a deep breath, exhaling and inhaling repeatedly to stop the panic attack that was creeping up on him like a lion about to attack a zebra. Everything went by like a blur to Jeno. He heard your groans of pain as you pushed, his hand being gripped in yours like a tightening vice as the midwives gave you words of encouragement. He was speechless, his eyes following the tiny baby as it was pulled from you and taken away to be cleaned up. Jeno had never seen a baby so small in his entire life, and he turned to look at you, his mouth hanging open in shock from the reality of becoming a father.

“Oh my god.” You let out a soft sob when they handed you your baby wrapped in a white blanket. “Jeno, it’s a boy…he’s so beautiful.” Jeno gulped, looking down at his son in your arms. You couldn’t describe the love that bloomed in your stomach as you stared down at your squirming baby in awe. He didn’t cry, he just opened his little eyes ad stared blankly up at the ceiling. “Hey little guy…”

“Can I hold him?” Jeno’s voice was wobbling and you nodded, very carefully handing over the baby to him. You still thought he couldn’t see, so to see him looking down at the baby with open eyes, his eyes flickering up and down the tiny boy’s body as he studied his son. “Minjun.” He whispered the name you’d agreed on for a boy. “He looks like a Minjun.” Jeno glanced up at you, and you felt your heart soar.

“Y-you can see?” Jeno nodded, leaning forward and kissing you tenderly on the lips. “Since when?! Jeno I’m so happy.” You started to cry once more, overwhelmed from the birth of your son and from finding out about your loves eyesight. You wanted nothing more than for Jeno to be able to see his baby, and he could. Happy wasn’t strong enough to describe how you felt.

“The past few months it’s been slowly coming back, I have to wear glasses to see but…it’s better than nothing. (Y/N) you did such a good job, he’s wonderful.” Jeno’s smile lit up his entire face like you’d never seen before. He held Minjun’s little hand with his fingertip and could feel the tears welling up in his eyes.

“Well you helped me make him.” You giggled, watching the magical moment between father and son.

He leaned down and pressed a kiss to Minjun’s forehead, sniffing back his tears even though one rolled down his cheek. “I wasn’t too keen on the thought of you when I first heard you were going to be arriving you know, but now I can’t imagine not having you. I’m going to do the best I can for you, and you will have the best life I can give you. My own father wasn’t a nice man to me, he hurt me a lot, and set me up for a lifetime of worry. But that’s all my past. You and your mummy are just the beginning, my beginning.”

---

So what are we thinking? Let me know your thoughts! This story has been a wild ride, thank you all so much for getting this far!

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kaypeace21 · 4 years ago

Note

Do you think that the hellfire club is a D&D group or some sport team or what do you think it is? (BTW big fan of your theories)

I think it’s a d&d club. I talked about it in past posts.I think being about d&d makes sense since the game would foreshadow future plot points- like it did in prior seasons . And the “hellfire club” is even an X-men group relating to the dark Phoenix which was referenced in s1 by Will . And I think they’ll take inspiration from that comic book arc for future seasons too . (So it’s an eastergg) . But, also , being called “the hellfire club” is probably an inside joke with the club members- since in the 80s, adults claimed d&d was about devil worship.)

In Bts photos- one of the members has a ‘Wasp’ pin which is a heavy metal band formed in 1982 -so the club is not so shockingly confirmed to be into rock.Along with d&d (if the leaks are legit) . Makes sense since both things are part of counter culture that was demonized by the “satanic panic” in the 80s. In the 80s. D&d (similar to rock music) was believed to be satanic - so the club name (for the club members)is a joke making fun of these people who think that’s true . But also (as a show is) another dark Phoenix ref . One of the s4 movies ‘paradise lost’ (was about a real life case) of small town teens who were into punk music, horror movies, stephen king, wore black, into wicca, and accused of being gay. They were unfairly blamed for ‘ satanic child m**ders (in the woods & near a river). They weren’t guilty . But, because ‘satanic panic’ was still alive and well ...the town’s people used their hobbies/ punk look/ and perceived sexualities as ‘proof” they were guilty. The case was later described as a ‘witch hunt’. Meanwhile the other (more likely suspect) at the time was John “Mark” Byers- who was a hunter, had a thing for hunting knives, religious, admitted to hitting his kids, and was accused of s**ually abusing his son, shot pumpkins (s2 ref), and sang a song about creating a portal to another world without light , that you could enter via a tree (s1 ref). Years later-after the doc- it’s implied he wasn’t guilty either. But, one of the other victims’ fathers - Terry was assumed to be guilty - he was also was accused of m***esting his son and daughter (by his own family members). Admitted to hitting his wife and kids. And had a police report filed on him - describing breaking into a women’s house , while she was in a tub and trying to attack her. He was also formerly charged for m*rdering one of his wife’s family members- but got away with it claiming self defense). Heck if the names John byers/Terry being in the film/st wasn’t crazy enough- the victims were named Steve, Michael, and Chris byers (luckily ours don’t have that same horrible fate/back stories).

I kind of assume - the d&d club will be looked at suspiciously as teens go missing/ kidnapped/ or maybe found k*lled in the woods/quarry. And the cops/others think they’re “satanic k*llings” and rumors about the d&d club insue. And maybe our teens suspect it’s the demogorgan again. But as a subversion- it isn’t and it’s a human . A human that by ab*sing Will- caused Will to unconsciously create many things including the demogorgan (which in d&d is called the “deep father”) . Also, in s3 they called Will “the devil’s baby” (Aka lonnie is the real “devil” ).And such incidents in the woods/ near the quarry would connect back to s1 demogorgan & Will being found in the quarry. And if paying attention you already noticed s1 demogorgan paralleled Lonnie a lot! So s4 would start bringing things to the surface- in regards to how evil Lonnie really is.Not to mention more hints (I previously posted) that hinted they’ll go with this “ch*ld serial ki##er plot line...

But then again I think it may not be literally Lonnie. My guess: Brenner (who I think was created/based on lonnie) is possibly doing failed experiments of teens to open portals (in the basement of pethurst -like in hellraiser 2) . And dumping failed experiments in the woods/water. A few movies had the d*ad victims have numbers carved in them. And then El/kali team up and maybe sneak into the facility (like in ace Ventura people posing as siblings investigate a m*rder and one fakes being ‘crazy’ to sneak in and find a murderer) . In ‘peanut butter solution’ 2 kids - 1 of them is goth/not american teams up with a girl to find a man named ‘senior ‘who is kidnapping kids. 1 of them also sneaks in and is captured on purpose to investigate. Kali already busted Dottie out of a psych hospital and lucas referenced El being there in s1. Alexi (like el-another alter of Will) watches roadrunner- in that papa bear throws him in a psych facility. And assasains creed/dream warriors - the psychiatric facility was similar to the lab with sensory deprivation tanks, cameras, solitary confinement in dark rooms. We already know 1 new character is against the mistreatment of people at the facility. Also the real pethurst (in Pennsylvania) -known for human rights a*use issues- wasn’t a psych facility (but a place for people with intellectual disabilities). So El being at the psych hospital version in Indianna (and maybe having id herself like I mentioned before -would be a nice ref). And in assasains creed- when the character starts sneaking around investigating - the dr reveals how the character is actual the reincarnation of their ancestor ( brenner tells el she’s an alter of Will’s ). And before that the dr was making that person relive the traumatic past of their past life/other person -which they couldn’t change (sort of like el seeing Billy’s past in s3). Also kali said her and El should team up to face their father- which I think they’ll do. And I’m excited about it!

I still think brenner was created by Will and based on Lonnie so he could be responsible and connected to Will/Jon’s backstory with Lonnie/the Woods. In an abstract way. Like how brenner/Lonnie forced their kids to k*ll animals. Brenner threw El in a dark room/ Lonnie threw Will in a trunk. Brenner’s name being associated with the woods and Lonnie being a hunter , etc.

Also we know s4 involves this dark-storyline involving c**ld m*rders cause of foreshadowing

* Also, mentioned here how in s4 rolling a 11 isn’t actually a good thing and that it’s a callback to Will rolling a 7- in s1. Before things go array.In “paradise lost” when blaming the innocent goth boys someone asks the chief “on a scale 1 to 10 how confident are you? You have the right men?” And he laughs and says “11.”

*And , just for historical context of how ‘metal ‘ and ‘scary ‘ d&d was to nonplayers (in the 80s).

“In 1985, 60 Minutes dedicated a full hour to the supposed connection between D&D, Satanic rites, murders and su*cides . 2 years earlier, Patricia Pulling formed Bothered About Dungeons and Dragons (BADD) . She described D&D as ‘a fantasy role-playing game which leads to demonology, witchcraft, voodoo, murder, r*pe, blasphemy, suicide, assassination, insanity, sex perversion, homosexuality, pr*stitution, satanic type rituals, gambling, barbarism, cannibalism, sadism, desecration, demon summoning, necromantics, divination and other teachings.’ In 1987, Peter Leithart and George Grant published The Catechism of the New Age, a pamphlet where they introduced the idea that D&D was immoral because roleplaying allowed too much freedom for critical thinking, which might lead to heretical ideas. That same year, Chris Pritchard and two friends conspired to murder Pritchard’s stepfather in his sleep, the media ignored the obvious financial motivation and instead focused on the men being in the same D&D group.”

( I think quite a few of those themes will come up in s4/5 - although d&d isn’t the actual cause). It’ll just be a subversion.

#stranger things #el hopper #kali prasad #will byers #stranger things theory #s4 theory #d&d #st s4 #s4 bts #DID theory

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floxalopex · 4 years ago

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Why, to me, Adora didn't solve her trauma. Or at least, it was supposed to be only about that. Spoiler: anti Catradora and anti Glimbow. Please, this are just my opinions. Don't wish my death. These ships are canon anyways so yhhhh you won, ok? Everything is fine 🌈

Yh, I'm doing this very depressing, very akward and inappropriate post at last. With of course, a lot of self-centered story nobody wants to hear because I need examples to explain emotions. Hi.

So. I don't hate Catra. I vibe with her a lot. But I can't stand when people erase Adora's trauma saying Catra's was worse. Everyone has the right to experience their own sorrow. Pain is a subjective feeling.

I was always the Catra while my sister was the Adora. I was the nd who needed to go to the psychotherapist causing my family to spend money, not to mention other healt problems. My sister doesn't even wear glasses. I took three attempts to get a stupid car license and still have panic attacks when I need to drive. My sister is a talented pilot. I was more good at school than her, but she was always better at living. And you can't change that with anything.

Still, I never hated her. Nor was I jelous. I awlays loved her and will always do. We are very different but we balance eachother. You may think that she got it easy. She didn't.

My parents are amazing. And I love them, they never raised a hand on me. But it was hard. It's hard to love a kid everyone depicts as "creepy", "not normal". But they did.

I watched the episode with Catra and Adora's childhood flashback with my sister. We had goosebumps. Before that I believed I was the only one suffering, while in reality I wasn't. It's not easy being the "golden child", "the normal one" either. My sister was so used to being referred as "the non weird one" that she developed a very closed personalty. She is a ray of sunshine, always smiling, but she won't tell anyone if she is feeling bad. She has to be perfect. She has to be all right all the time. I tell her to open up, at least with me, but it's not easy.

Trauma can have many faces. And honestely I blame myself I lot for having caused this to her. If only my parents weren't so focused on me and my so many problems that started since the day I was born (so far I risked to die at least 4 times) they wouldn't have had so much stress. They would have focused more on my sister. We talked about this and she says it's not my fault and honestely after so many years I want to believe her.

Adora has a post traumatic response. She has a martyr syndrome so strong she even feels that sacrifing herself is the normal course of actions. "You deserve love too" means that you also deserve to be heard. Your feelings matter.

Now. *Sighs*. I don't hate Catra, but I don't like Catradora at all.

Another sad story.

I never liked in my life the troupe of the "best friends" who grow up togheter and are supposed to be soulmates. I don't believe in destiny. There's no superior order in life.

I know there are many cute and real stories of couples who start and end togheter. Honestely some years ago I would have felt envious of them, now I fell like the freest of birds.

I had a childhood friend. He was born exately 20 days before me and, since our mothers were best friends, those were the only days in our first 10 years of life we were apart. We grow up togheter like brothers. Of course (of course, because eh you know, hormons, not destiny or whatever) we ended up having a relationship when little.

I didn't have so many friends and he made sure of that. He isolated me from everyone. He was possessive and mean. He was aggressive and now that he is old he is even a racist, sovranist, fascist, sexist and lots of other amazing qualities.

He was my first good diagnosis. Cushing syndrome. So yh, even if I'm super short he is shorter than me due to the therapy he has to endure. (By the gods, I generally don't mind physical appereance, I've even recentely found out I'm panromantic so yh, I don't care about gender either... but dam, can I have a partner taller than me? It's not even difficult.) Honestely, sickness apart...he is not so very good looking. Neither was I when little, I was very chubby. With the difference that I still saw beauty in him, but he never did. He mocked me with his friends. He said things like "If I don't love you who ever would? I've known you for so long, that's the reason why I tolerate you". I always stood by his side when people bullied him for his frail body structure or because he couldn't swim (which in Sicily it's almost a disability). He never did the same for me.

We broke up badly. I wasn't the one who left him but anyways. We don't even say hello to eachother.

I know by some relatives of his (who adored me) that is he depressed and lonely now.

It's... hard. Not to care for him. I know I shouldn't, I don't even want to. But the sentiment is there. I was never enough for him while he was everything for me. I don't love him, I would say I even hate him (and to make me hate someone you really must work very hard). But...hate is an emotion too right?...the point is that he will forever be a part of me. Even if I wish we never met in the first place.

Anyways.

I don't have positive opinions on Glimbow either. I love Glimmer but dam she is possessive. I like Bow but he should have been more true with his feelings and not end up with her only to please her. Choose Sea Hawk or Perfuma.

In a childhood relationship platonic love, habit, hormons, friendship meld togheter in a ...peculiar way. But let's be honest, we change with aging. We are not mature, we are not sensitive enough. Polite enough when little. We are not aware enough.

I'm monogamus yes, but at least sexually speaking. In reality you should have experiences. Know other people to know yourself better.

It, again, may be my bad and traumatic relationship speaking. But said relationship never gave me positive personal growth. It was rather toxic.

Adora, dear. Humanity is not lost. But you can't save everyone. Not by risking your own happiness. Caring for somebody deeply and having sexual attraction for them...isn't enough. And you too Catra. Let it go, there are people out there (cough cough Scorpia) who can and will give you the world if only you let them. Give others a chance. Maybe you are not in love with a person, but with the memory and the idea you had of them. People change, it's not theirs or your fault.

People leave and you don't own them.

Lastly yes, I will put the Entrapdak tag. Really not for visibility, I have more feet than followers (no, I'm not an octopus monster) and honestely I don't give a fuck. (Yhh mean Floxy). I'm just here to say emberassing things and be a stupid fucking nerd.

*inhales*.

Entrapdak=the love of my life. The relationship between two adults. Two people who didn't know eachother and passed puberty (...Hordak baby, you there?) a LONG time ago.

Two people who reason with their minds and not entirely with their hormons. I'm clapping while typing.

No drama, no doubts. I could talk for hours but honestely this no sense is already a pain in the gut of everyone who reads so far.

#anti Catradora #anti Glimbow #Entrapdak #my love #Adora #baby #be more gentle with yourself

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1dsource · 4 years ago

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Author Spotlight: lovelarry10

Don’t forget to show the author to leave kudos and comments to show the author love!

You Were Made To Be Mine

Words: 605k

Louis Tomlinson takes his 6 year old son Jacob to see Harry Styles in concert. Jacob has been a huge fan of Harry's for as long as he can remember, so it's a dream come true when Harry notices him in the pit. But Jacob isn't all that Harry has his eye on...

Louis is a bit embarrassed when Harry picks on him from the stage, but when he's invited backstage after the show, he wonders what Harry Styles could possibly want with a single dad and his kid from Manchester...

(Last update: 16/13-19)

Let Me Be Your Star

Words: 252k

Harry Styles has always been a singer, but he’s never had much confidence in himself. When his idol is brought on as the new judge on The X-Factor, he figures, what the hell? He’d get to sing and meet his idol. What could go wrong?

Louis Tomlinson has always wanted to mentor young musicians. When he’s asked to be a judge on The X-Factor, it’s a dream come true, everything he ever wanted. What he didn’t expect was to meet a curly-headed stranger that would turn his life upside down

We Both Got Nothing to Hide

Words: 43k

Talk to me, Lou.”

“I can’t,” Louis mumbled, knowing he genuinely couldn’t say it. He couldn’t admit to what he was doing. “Don’t ask me to say it, because I can’t.”

“Then… I’ll try and guess. You’ve… got some stuff of Harry’s. Something of his to make it smell like him?”

Louis just nodded, eyes fixated on the floor. This was humiliating, but he knew Zayn wouldn’t stop until he found out what was going on.

“Okay. Like… a blanket, or a comforter or something?”

“Kind of…”

//Omega Louis has a secret nest. Alpha Harry keeps losing his clothes.

Tell Me What You Want Tonight

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Louis Tomlinson loved his job. His boss Harry was great too. He often wondered why a CEO hotshot like him was still single. When a hotel mixup causes them to room together while in The Big Apple, will Louis’ crush turn from fantasy to reality?

Listen To Your Heart

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Are you kidding me right now?

I… No? Louis frowned, feeling angry now. It wasn’t fair, he knew that, but at the same time, he couldn’t help his feelings. It felt like this had been brewing for weeks, and this was it. Give it a rest, Harry.

Why are you such a brat? Why can’t you just be happy for me for once?

You think I want to hear about you kissing James? Really, H? There’s things I just don’t need to know, okay? I’m your best mate, not your fucking relationship advisor…

*****

Louis has always been comfortable being Harry’s one and only. When Harry starts to branch out, Louis has a hard time letting him go.

Harry is very lucky to have someone who listens to what he has to say, despite the fact that he’s deaf. He’s finally feeling like he’s coming into himself, but Louis seems bothered by his newfound confidence.

Beautiful Stranger

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“Did you want to- oh. Uh, sorry, I-” Harry stuttered, licking his lips as he looked over Louis’ bare torso, not focusing on the ocean ahead of him. “You’re very distracting, Lou.”

“Trying to tell me you haven’t seen a topless Omega before?” Louis asked, walking back to his rucksack and grabbing a bottle of suncream out of it before returning to stand by Harry.

“Not one as stunning as you,” he thought he heard Harry mutter as he started to rub the cream into his shoulders.

*****

When Alpha Harry Styles attends the Gucci Cruise 2020 show, he knows what to expect: clothes, clutch bags, and a few too many pretentious people. What he doesn’t expect, however, is to run into an Omega who is more beautiful than anything on the runway.

Take Me As I Am

Words: 117k

“Suppressant? But… why would I need a suppressant? Alphas don’t take suppressants.”

“You’re right, they don’t.

”****

Secrets. Lies. Deception. Betrayal. Self-discovery.Alpha. Omega. How far will they go to hide the truth?

Lucky Ones

Words: 188k

Harry doesn’t believe love is on the cards for him. Louis just wants someone to love him for him and not what he can do for them. Together they learn what love and trust is all about while having a little (or rather, a lot) of fun along the way.

I Drove All Night (To Get To You)

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“Sorry mate, but I think you’re my ride?”

Harry just stared, not blinking at the man in front of him, wondering what he’d done in a past life to deserve this.

“You’re Louis Tomlinson.”

“I was last time I checked,” Louis chuckled, still leaning in through the passenger window. Harry knew he was staring and not in a polite way, but he couldn’t bring himself to turn away in case this was all a dream, and he most definitely didn't want to wake up if that was the case. “Can I get in, then? Would kind of like to avoid more photos of my arse in the paper if it’s alright with you...”

*****

Harry’s job as a chauffeur for the rich and famous was not as flashy as he’d thought. Late nights having to listen to the ridiculous demands and whims of these high profile clients leaves him disheartened with the world he thought was all glitz and glamour.

One night his boss asks him a favour. To collect one last client before he clocks off. Only problem is when that client gets into the car it’s Louis Tomlinson. As in Harry’s all time crush. As in future husband and father of all his children Louis Tomlinson.

He can be cool and professional, right?

Kiss From A Rose

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Harry is the quiet one in the office no one ever notices. Until Louis does, that is. When notes start appearing on Harry’s desk, he ponders who is behind the kind words, oblivious to Louis’ attempts to get his attention....

Just Let Me Adore You

Words: 26k

When Louis’ daughter presents him with a Christmas gift far beyond the price range of a four year old, he jumps to the worst of conclusions. He’s pleasantly surprised when he finds out how she isn’t as naughty as he thought she was, and who came to her rescue..

Part 1 of The Millie Verse

Always You

Words: 15k

“You think he’ll want to come?” Millie asked the question that had been clearly troubling her, and Louis just grinned, nodding. He knew it was right up Harry’s street, and that his husband would near-collapse from the emotion of being asked to something so important to Millie. “Really really?”

“I really really think he will,” Louis grinned, cuddling his daughter tightly again.

*****

Valentine’s Day is one of Millie's favourite holidays. It’s all about love, and boy does she love to love. She loves her daddies, she loves her auntie's and her grandparents. She even loves her new best friend, much to her Daddy’s worry. But this year is going to be extra special if her Papa accepts her question! Harry also wants to make this holiday special for his two loves, while Louis has his own surprise up his sleeve...

Part 2 of The Millie Verse

(Last update: 28/02-20)

Piece by Piece

Words: 168k

Now that his best friend Liam is getting married Louis Tomlinson needs help, and he’s finally admitted it. He can’t work and be the best dad to his disabled son Mason without it. That’s where Harry Styles comes in.

And so begins the love story of a lifetime.

Part 1 of The Mason-Verse

To Carry Love

Words: 21k

Picking up a few years after Piece by Piece, we catch up with the Tomlinson-Styles as they celebrate the arrival of Liam's first child, and make a few choices of their own...

Part 2 of The Mason-Verse

I Get To Love You

Words: 83k

A one night stand leaves Harry with a permanent reminder of the night he spent with a stranger.

Louis has no idea who the handsome stranger he took to bed is... until his friends make a shocking discovery.

A baby is on the way, and Louis and Harry have nine months to get to know each other before they become a family...

There You Are

Words: 82k

“How do you know I’ve got problems?” Harry asked, cocking his eyebrows at the man next to him, suddenly full of a deep desire to confess everything if it kept Louis’ eyes on him for the rest of eternity.

“Your eyes,” Louis said with a shrug. “They look a bit sad. I don’t like that. So go on, unburden yourself to your friendly neighbourhood stripper.”

“You’re not just a stripper,” Harry mumbled as he took another sip of his drink, mentally debating with himself over how to word what he was about to say before he figured he’d just say it in the simplest way possible. “I found my husband in bed fucking another man.”

****

*Harry’s entire life has fallen apart - in one night, his carefully planned future is suddenly uncertain.

Then he meets Louis.

You Are My Sunshine

Words: 17k

“Hi!” Charlie said, stopping at the end of the driveway of a small house and waving at the man. “Mornin’!”

“Well, you just made my day,” the man said, walking towards Charlie and Louis with a big smile on his face. “Thank you so much!”

“Bye!” was all Charlie returned with, and the man laughed, looking straight at Louis for a moment.

“Bye, have fun!” “

We will, thanks,” Louis replied with a smile, still a bit mesmerised by the stranger.

*****

Charlie is a happy little boy, he smiles and waves at everyone around him, making Louis the proudest dad. Charlie’s spark of personality and a well timed hello brings a stranger into his and Louis’ lives when they least expect it...

The Little Dog Whisperer

Words: 28k

Louis lives alone with his dog Clifford. When he spots a sign in the neighbourhood advertising dog walking services, along come Harry and his son Alfie into his life…

All I Do is Want You

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“Lou, if he knew how you felt, he might change how he feels?”

“And that’s the last thing I want!” Louis threw up his hands as he spoke, exasperated as he always was when it came to this particular topic of conversation. “I don’t want him to feel like he owes me something, or that he has to reciprocate my feelings, Zayn. He doesn’t feel that way towards me and I’ve come to terms with that, okay? You need to as well.”

“I would if you actually meant it,” Zayn mumbled in reply, barely ducking in time as Louis lobbed a cushion at him. “You know this isn’t healthy, right? That you can’t just keep fucking him because you’re scared you’re gonna lose him?”

Harry loves his best mate Louis. He especially loves the casual sex they indulge in. Trouble is, Louis’ in love with Harry. Surely it’s destined to end in heartbreak...

The Daddiest Place on Earth

Words: 23k

dilfs_atdisneyworld: Ooh he's popular. Is it me or has it got hot in here? #dilf #hothothot #gimme

louist91: What the hell? Why the fuck am I on a DILFs page again?"

dilfs_atdisneyworld: louist91, Hello! You're on here because you're a DILF. A dad I'd like to f...😜

Louist91: dilfs_atdisneyworld Oh my god. Fuck off mate.

***

Louis. Harry. Instagram. A whole lot of confusion and a whole lot of laughs...

I Knew You Were Waiting For Me

Words: 26k

Harry has been hearing his soulmates voice for years now, and he's just desperate to meet the person he knows he's meant to be with.

Louis has come to think that he's destined to never meet his soulmate.

A chance camping holiday with their best friends just might end in all of their dreams coming true.

How It Would Feel To Be Free

Words: 90k

"When's she due?”

“She said next month,” Harry replied quickly, ignoring the look of shock on Louis’ face. “How the hell am I going to tell my parents that I’m going to be a father, and to a baby born out of wedlock? It’s going to be some whole-ass scandal, Lou, and I can’t ... I can’t-”

“I’ll help you. Whatever it takes, Harry, I’ll be there for you.”

When Prince Harry unexpectedly becomes a father, his best friend Louis steps in. The masses believe the baby is Louis’, but all Harry wants is to tell the world the truth - about the baby and his feelings for Louis.

Waited All Year To Be Near

Words: 27k

“Your kids are so fuckin’ great, Lou, seriously. Like, Leo reminds me so much of you, and Molly is just bloody beautiful, that kid loves me, I swear to God.”

“Oi, not as much as she’s gonna love her Papa,” Louis chided, jokingly smacking Niall on the arm. “And Haz? He’s coping okay?”

“You know him, course he is. He’s wonder Dad, dunno how he does it. Misses you, though. He thinks we don’t catch the little touches of his wedding ring, or the way he glances at your photos whenever he walks by. But we do. He’s like… he’s strong for everyone else, but he needs you, Louis. He needs someone to be strong for him, too.”

****

Harry’s preparing for the holidays at home with his four children while Louis is deployed. All he wants is his husband home for Christmas. But Louis’ half a world away...

With The Strength To Carry On

Words: 113k

The American British Doctoral Exchange Program was the best thing that ever happened to Louis. It gave him a chance to start over and make a real difference in the world. He could focus on work and not be distracted by anything or anyone. When Harry Styles shows up as the new intern, he turns Louis' world upside down.

Harry Styles had one passion in life, and that was helping sick children feel better. Putting smiles on their faces made Harry feel like he was making up for past mistakes and losses. When he gets accepted to the American British Doctoral Exchange Program, he treats it as the chance of a lifetime to make a difference internationally. He didn't expect to fall for his mentor along the way....

or the one where Louis and Harry are doctors, and things happen.

Made From Love

Words: 14k

It's almost Christmas, and amongst the preparations, Louis' realised something about his husband Harry.

Harry, however, seems to be oblivious.

Louis' determined to open Harry's eyes and make him realise the real magic that's happening this Christmas...

I Don’t Wanna Hide Us Away

Words: 3k

It's the X Factor final, and Louis' excited to see Little Mix perform. As he sits back to watch, he's blissfully unaware of how his life is about to change...

The Pain Is For Pleasure

Words: 67k

“Louis, please. I promise you, you are so attractive to me. I love you, and I think you are the sexiest man I’ve ever been with-”

“But Harry, that’s the fucking problem! You haven’t been with me, have you?! You don’t want me in that way, it’s pretty clear…” He cut him off, feeling that he was about to say something he would later regret. “If there’s a problem, I wish that you felt you could have told me, rather than, well, this.”

“Louis, I-”

“Just leave it, Haz. I get it, okay?”

“No! You don’t, you have no fucking idea, Louis!”

Louis and Harry have been together for a few months. Everything is great, but there’s one question burning in the back of Louis' mind - why won’t Harry have sex with him?

Baby We Could Be Enough

Words: 74k

Harry Styles has always wanted a family, but his boyfriend doesn’t. When an unexpected pregnancy leaves Harry feeling alone and terrified, he feels he has no choice but to give up his baby. He finds a family with the adoptive parents, and maybe something more.

Louis Tomlinson and his wife, Jess, have been trying for a baby for years. Their hasty marriage after they first got pregnant has only led to a series of miscarriages that have put a strain on their already precarious relationship. When they meet a young man desperate for a home and someone to raise his child, Louis realizes that he may have been moving in the wrong direction all along.

Step Into The Light

Words: 13k

Harry’s filming his music video for his new song in the humid heat of Cancun, Mexico after dark.

Louis watches him with hooded eyes from behind the visor of his motorcycle helmet watching it all go down.

How far can Harry push his desire?

It’s Coming Home

Words: 14k

Harry hates football and is reluctantly dragged to Hyde Park to watch the semi-final. It’s not the football that catches his eye though, it’s the cute blue-eyed boy at the next VIP balcony...

Or the one where Harry and Louis are strangers who meet at the England vs Croatia semi-final match being screened in London and maybe find what it is they've been searching for.

It’s My Party (And I’ll Cry If I Want To)

Words: 32k

“Sorry, who are you?”

“Oh. Yes. I’m Harry, from Fabulous Frog? I did ring the bell a few times, but there was no answer, and I heard laughter so I thought I’d pop my head round…”

“Oh! You’re the party person! Wow, of course. I’m sorry, lost track of time playing with these monsters,” Louis said, hurrying over and shaking Harry’s outstretched hand. “Lovely to meet you. Did you want to sit out here rather than indoors? Seems too nice a day to waste inside, and I can watch the children.”

“Sounds fine to me. I hope I didn’t scare you, or them? Some people don’t expect a guy to turn up when they ask to speak to me...”

*****

Louis needs help planning the party of the year for his siblings. Party planner Harry Styles is the last thing he expects.

Look How Far We’ve Come My Baby

Words: 5k

Harry’s finishing up his tour in LA, and has a surprise planned for his boyfriend. He’s devastated when Louis can’t make it to the show, but little does he know, Louis has a little something up his sleeve...

Could You?

Words: 2.9k

It's Louis' final night on tour, and he has one more thing to do, the moment he's been waiting for.

It's finally here.

Clumsy

Words: 12k

Louis loves taking Clifford to the market every weekend. It’s their thing. But when Cliff manages to trip over a handsome stranger, on Valentine’s Day of all days, it might just be the start of something new and exciting...

Love Will Tear Us Apart

Words: 103k

“You ruined my fucking life, Harry. You stopped me living my dream because you’re a selfish bastard who couldn’t keep himself clean for five fucking minutes. You took away my independence, my freedom, my choices, Harry. And I hate you for that, I hate you!”

As he spat out the final words, Louis felt all of the fight go out of him. He slumped back into the chair, his heart racing his chest, his head beginning to swim. It was a familiar feeling, and one Louis didn't like. He looked up, finally meeting Harry’s gaze for the first time in a while.

“Out of everyone in my life, Harry, I never thought you’d be the one to hurt me. Not like this.”

A story of two halves.

Louis and Harry had it all - a career, friendship, and some of the best sex either of them had ever had.

But Harry ruins it all with one life-changing mistake ... and Louis is left to pay the price.

Spellbound

Words: 22k

Louis’ a shifter. Harry’s a witch. The only problem is, they’re hiding those things from each other.

Will they be able to keep their secrets hidden at the most spooky time of year?

Baby, Honey

Words: 7.3k

Harry's been talking about sex and babies on stage too much for Louis' liking, so he decides to give him what he wants...

Or the one with the aftermath of Harry's Detroit concert...

Strip That Down

Words: 7.5k

“You’re doing well,” came Louis’ voice, and Harry’s eyes flew open, craning his head to see Louis sat on the sofa across the room, legs crossed, hands resting in his lap as he sat there, an amused smile on his lips. “A bit of a wimp, but I guess it must hurt-”

“You guess? My legs are on fucking fire, Louis,” Harry retorted, his voice a little shaky still. The alcohol he’d been consuming all night was doing nothing to numb the pain, and the thought Louis thought he was a wimp wasn’t helping. “You have literally no idea how much this hurts.”

“No pain kink, then. I’ll bear that in mind,” Louis said smugly as Jesy walked back into the room, a fresh pot of wax in her hands. “Oh goody, here we go again.”

“Please don’t do my thighs, please-”

“Them’s the rules…” Jesy muttered as she started swiping wax over Harry’s left thigh.

*****

Offering to wax his legs as part of a bet wasn’t one of Harry's finer ideas, but if it has Louis ogling his thighs, who is he to complain?

I’m A Buff Baby, But I Dance Like A Man

Words: 10k

“Do not call me a ‘tiktokker’, Louis, I'm a dancer,” Harry said, using air quotes around Louis’ made up word with his fingers. “So have you changed your mind about TikTok?”

Louis gave Harry a wicked smile, their eyes fixed on each others. “No. It’s still shit.”

“Wanker.”

~*~

Louis despises the mere existence of TikTok. Unfortunately, his boyfriend Harry has decided that during quarantine, he’s going to become the latest TikTok dancing sensation...

Save A Horse, Ride A Cowboy

Words: 10k

Harry whimpered as Louis pushed himself up onto his tiptoes, grazing his ear lobe with his lips. His breath tickled Harry’s ears, and Harry swallowed, already anticipating what Louis was about to say.

“I’d like to ride you, cowboy…”

Harry's a barman at Flaming Saddles, a country and western themed gay bar.

Louis’ a customer who’d like to see if the tall barman is as good on the ropes as everyone says he is...

(I Can Show You How To) Slow Dance

Words: 15k

Louis feels nervous about asking his boyfriend Harry to his dance. Harry is quick to dismiss his worries and is determined to make it a night Louis will never forget...

A Lot of Fight Left in Me

Words: 139k

A few years after One Direction, Louis and Harry Tomlinson are happily married, have 5 year old twins and life seems pretty perfect. Their children have started school, and they're still in regular contact with their bandmates and best friends, Niall and Liam.

However, when their daughter receives some news they could have never expected, their whole world gets turned upside down. With a little help from friends and family and their love keeping them afloat they’re determined to take back their happiness, believing in the fact that love really is all you need.

You’re My Only Hope

Words: 12k

Harry and Louis have been hoping to start a family for a while, but it hasn't happened for them just yet. With the surprise arrival of a newborn baby on the doorstep at work, are their family dreams about to become reality?

Part 1 of A Life That’s Good

Tiny Dancer

Words: 8.9k

“Why are you awake at-” Harry craned his head to see the clock on his bedside table, cringing when he saw it was just six in the morning. “Six? Too early, love!”

“I’m too excited to sleep,” Hope confessed, giggling softly to herself. “My show is today and I want to get up and get into my leotard and my tutu and my ballet slippers."

*****

It's Hope's first ballet recital, and Harry and Louis are more than excited to watch their four year old daughter perform for the first time.

Part 2 of A Life That’s Good

Who You Are

Words: 10k

“Lou? What is it?”

“No idea, Haz. It’s addressed to us, lemme read it.”

Harry nodded and Louis’ tired eyes skimmed the words, eyes widening when he realised who it was from.

“Shit, it’s been forwarded by Social Services.”

Harry hurried to sit up at that, and the pair of them leaned in, trying to read everything, to work out what was going on.

“Louis… we can’t lose them…”

“They’re ours, Harry. Have been for years, darling. But this is about Oscar..."

~*~

Things are going wonderfully for Harry and Louis. Their family has never been stronger. When a connection to their son’s past appears out of nowhere, it makes them wonder what lies ahead for the future of their family.

Part 3 of A Life That’s Good

We Got Love

Words: 12k

Harry and Louis thought their family was complete. They were wrong.

Part 4 of A Life That’s Good

Follow Your Arrow

Words: 10k

“Come on, you can talk to me, you know. I won’t judge sweetheart. Or we can wait til your other dad’s home and we can-”

“No!”

Harry blinked, a little startled at the ferocity with which Hope had answered him then.

“No? Is it… has Papa said something to you?”

Hope’s hair dropped in front of her face as she shook her head again, biting nervously on her lip now. “It’s not him. I love both of you. I just… I don’t want him to be disappointed in me. I can’t tell him.”

*****

Hope has a crush, but she’s scared to tell her parents, especially Louis. Harry helps her figure out how to break the news to her other dad, who is ultimately nothing but wonderful.

Part 5 of A Life That’s Good

Summer Love

Words: 11k

"Papa! PAPA!”

"What, love?”

"You coming in?”

"Go on Lou,” Harry encouraged, knowing Grace had been waiting ages for her dad to come in the pool with her. “I’ll wait here. Might go and chat to Hope for a bit.”

"Okay,” Louis said, pecking Harry as he stood up. “No eating all my fruit salad, alright?”

"Can’t promise anything,” Harry said before he walked off, leaving Louis to walk over to the pool. He sat down on the poolside, letting his feet dip into the cool blue water, smiling at the sight of children splashing around, having fun with their family members. His daughter soon swam up to him, wet hands and arms resting on his warm thighs as she smiled up at him, her blonde hair plastered to her head.

*****

The Tomlinsons are off on a summer holiday before it’s time for everything to change...

Part 6 of A Life That’s Good

Right Here Waiting

Words: 5.1k

Louis and Harry are expecting a baby. Harry's heavily pregnant and nesting madly, determined to make their home ready for their baby.

The Boy With The Pearl Earring

Words: 14k

“I just… I loved it tonight. Being myself, wearing all this in front of the cameras. I know there’ll be people who hate it but I don’t care. I was me, Lou. I was Harry Styles for the first real time.”

“And you fucking smashed it, baby,” Louis grinned back, his hands around the small of Harry’s back now as he pressed in firmly, yanking them together as Harry stumbled, falling against Louis’ body.

~~~~~~

Harry heads home after the Met Gala to get ready for the After Party, but there's a surprise waiting for him...

We’ve Already Won

Words: 7.4k

Harry settles down at home with Clifford and Evie to support Louis on the X Factor, and waits for Louis to return home to his family.

Bigger Ain’t Always Better!

Words: 10k

Harry buys Louis a rather naughty birthday present, and they eagerly hurry back to Harry's flat, eager to try it out. Neither of them expect what happens next....

Don’t You Remember?

Words: 7.6k

Louis nearly broke everything - himself, his relationship, everything that meant anything to him.

But Harry never gave up on him.

Part 1 of Who Do I Run To?

Remedy

Words: 9.9k

"Are you coming back? I mean, are we done? Please don’t say we’re done Lou, you’re my everything, please-“ Harry held his breath as Louis stepped closer, taking Harry’s shaking hands in his own, running his thumbs over Harry’s soft skin. Harry felt calmer immediately at Louis’ touch, and longed for more, fingers itching to touch back. Harry inhaled as Louis stepped forwards and pressed a kiss to his cheek, the familiar scent filling his nose, surrounding him with love.

"I’m so sorry.” Harry’s heart fell at that, and he could do nothing but watch as Louis walked away.

Harry has to come to terms with Louis disappearing as he heads off on his first world tour, but he’s hopeful his boy will find his way home.

Part 2 of Who Do I Run To?

Wonder How I Ever Made It Through

Words: 9.6k

Louis loved his home and his neighbourhood. It made jogging more enjoyable. But when a boy with curly hair moves into a home down the street, neither of these men realise what changes are coming their way.

Or Harry and Louis realise that all they need to be strong is love.

Moments Stay When People Leave...

Words: 13k

Louis just shrugged then, his eyes shining with unshed tears as he looked back up at Harry, pain etched into his face.

“You could’ve just talked to me, told me how you were feeling? I just… I deserved more than you gave me, Harry.”

*****

Harry gets lost in the memories of the best relationship he'd ever had, and then threw away, breaking two hearts. He makes a decision just before Christmas, and can only hope Louis feels the same...

Feels Like Christmas

Words: 49k

Harry Styles has always loved Christmas - it’s his favourite holiday, but there’s always been something missing.

Louis Tomlinson has been running from his pain, and is determined to ignore the holidays once more, choosing to spend them in solitude.

When they meet - entirely by chance - it could be just what they both need this Christmas...

Part 1 of Make My Wish Come True

Fairytale of New York

Words: 9.3k

Harry and Louis fly to New York for their holiday. Harry has a few surprises in store for an unsuspecting Louis...

Part 2 of Make My Wish Come True

You’ve Got This Spell On Me

Words: 20k

Louis has been living in Florida for 3 years now, and loves his job working at Universal Orlando Resort, particularly in the Wizarding World of Harry Potter. He's on a countdown to finally head home to Doncaster, but the arrival of a curly-haired boy from Holmes Chapel throws Louis' last few weeks in the Sunshine State into complete disarray...

After All This Time

Words: 36k

"Look, I’m sorry. I just… we reckon you and Harry would be so good together. You just, I dunno, complete each other somehow? In a way that we all don’t. Sometimes, we watch the two of you and it’s like Harry and Louis against the world, like we could all disappear and you’d both be just fine as long you have each other.”

"Shit. God, I’m sorry, Li, we don’t mean to-”

"No! No, Lou, I’m not looking for an apology or whatever. I just… I wish you’d both see how good you’d be together. It’s nice, to watch you both actually, how easy things are between you. You cuddle, and touch each other, but at the same time, you can just sit in silence with each other, and it’s enough. I’d like to find that, someday, that’s all.”

Louis and Harry have been best friends since a fateful meeting on the Hogwarts Express seven years ago. With their time at Hogwarts coming to an end, their friends are determined to make them see that perhaps they've always destined to be more than just friends.

Prompted into reliving some of their most vivid moments at Hogwarts, Louis and Harry come to a startling realisation... that just maybe, after all this time, they're meant to be each others. Always.

Lost Without You

Words: 9.2k

Louis wants to see the world. Harry tells him to go.

Wasn’t Expecting That

Words: 3.8k

It's three days before Christmas, and Harry's nervously waiting for news. Surely it can't be bad, not again.

As always, Louis' right by his side.

You Bring Me Home

Words: 12k

After forgetting to do his homework, Louis Tomlinson was in a bind. He had to submit something but knew whatever he was going to write in the next hour was gonna be awful. By a stroke of luck, he finds a essay in the printer and submits it as his own. Little did he know it was written by his former best friend Harry Styles. After the essay wins in a competition will this push them further apart or bring them back together?

For You Are Mine

Words: 24k

“This is the most wonderful news. Congratulations. I had fifty wonderful years with my Lily before she passed, and every day I spent by her side was a joy. I wish you and Louis the very best, Harry.”

“He hasn’t said yes yet,” Harry said, laughing as Leon rolled his eyes. “I know, I know, but I don’t want to get too ahead of myself.” “You love him? And he loves you?”

“I do, and he does.”

“Then there are no worries to be had. Be secure in your love for each other. Go, go home and propose, begin the first day of the rest of your life.”

******

As Harry embarks on making one of the biggest decisions in his life thus far, he takes Louis on a journey of memories through his love of drawing.

I Will Answer All Yiur Wishes

Words: 11k

Harry has been begging Louis to let him get a cat for a while now, but Louis' always said no because they work, and it wouldn't be fair to leave a pet all alone all day.

But when their sixth anniversary comes around, he just might have a surprise for his boyfriend...

Mama

Words: 7.9k

"This is it, you know?” Harry said after a moment, filling the silence once more. “This is what happiness feels like. Real happiness. Like, I’m so content I could just stay here with you two forever. I’m a husband, and a Mummy. This, right here, is everything I ever wanted. I love you, and I love Amelie more than I ever thought I could love anyone.”

*****

Harry and Louis bring their newborn daughter home from the hospital, and experience the first twenty four hours of parenthood.

Hallelujah, You’re Home

Words: 2.1k

Harry takes his Louis to watch a final sunset on the beach together, one last time.

I Got Me An Appetite

Words: 4.9k

In the midst of planning their wedding, Louis and Harry spend the day in the countryside hungry for some much needed time together...

Strictly In Love

Words: 7.5k

Harry Styles is doing something he never thought he would do... taking part in another reality show, this time as a contestant in the 14th series of Strictly Come Dancing.

With a talented professional partner, a supportive boyfriend and fun songs to dance to, will the most uncoordinated member of One Direction be able to pull off the impossible and dance his way to the trophy?

#faaw #author spotlight #lovelarry10 #fic rec #hljournal #hlcreators #larry fanfiction

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caramelpopcornandcoke · 4 years ago

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TV SERIES #1 Sweet Home (2020) Season 1, Netflix, Korea - Review, Thoughts, Theories for Season 2

Director: Lee Eung Bok (Guardian: The Lonely and Great God, Dream High)

Writers: Kim Kan Bi and Hwang Young Chan (Webtoon), Heung So Ri, Kim Hyung Min, Park So Ri

Casts: Song Kang, Lee Do Hyun, Lee Si Young, Lee Jin Wook, and more.

Genre: drama, apocalyptic, horror, thriller

I remember seeing Sweet Home on some webtoon platform, but I regretted not clicking on it and reading it while it was still available for the public. After it was made the tv series version, the webtoon version is restricted for subscription only, and my broke-student-wallet just can’t afford it for every episode.

This Korean apocalyptic tv series tells us about monsters, basically, and how they are compared to humanity. It circles around the main character, Hyeon Su (Song Kang), a troubled teenager and other tenants in an apartment building. The characters vary from a greedy and selfish supermarket owner, a disabled ex-military commander, kid siblings who just lost their father, and many more. This variation of characters leads to different opinions about how they should do things to stay alive and survive. Their humanity is at stake, they have to control themselves, or they will turn into monsters.

Sweet Home is kinda bloody and gory, a warning for those who don't like it or can’t watch stuff like these. The human-to-monster transformations, though, are very cool, I think. Especially when Hyeon Su turned into a majestic winged angel monster (spoiler alert).

There are 10 episodes of Sweet Home, and you can binge-watch it on Netflix. I, myself binge-watched all the episodes for 2 days and 1 night, even brought my phone to the dinner table.

For you who have watched it, let’s share some thoughts on it. For those of you who haven’t watched it, I think it’s time to part ways for a while, please watch it, and come back to read my post below this.

Spoiler alert, darling.

This series left a great impression—also questions—for me. The ending consists of loose threads with tons of probabilities. When I finished binge-watched it, I browsed on the internet about peoples’ thoughts on it. I asked my sister—she already read some episodes of the webtoon—about the ending and she said that some of the storyline are different between the series and webtoon version. This makes even those who already read the webtoon curious about what will happen next after the ending of Season 1. These are some of the question left hanging in the Season 1 of Sweet Home and my thoughts about them:

What happened to the fetus inside Mr. Han Du Sik’s bathroom?

As we all already watched, the mother who had lost a baby, went to the bathroom after she felt she was going to turn into a monster. The next day, Mr. Han found a monster-sized-heart-beating-fetus inside his bathroom. What will happen to that thing? I think it is somehow related to Seo Yi Kyung’s pregnancy. Her husband was gone, and she was desperate to find him, despite keeping the baby alive through the monster-apocalypse. The fetus inside the bathroom could also be the heart of the monsters too, a symbol that the monsters were not all gone, a new start for the monster era.

Why or how is Mr. Gangster still alive?

This left me speechless when I saw Mr. Gangster drove Hyeon Su inside a car, with blaring sirens as the backsound. I had to pause and replay the scene to observe the man, and it looks like the burn scars on his cheek were gone. Some theories I read say that the fluid-monster-essence used Mr. Gangster’s body as its new host, thus he came back to life. We figure out that the monsters are able to self-heal, but only for the scars that are made after the monster-transformation, right? Remember Hyeon Su’s scars on his arm? He couldn’t heal that because it was made before the transformations. While Mr. Gangster, if he really turned into a monster, why do his burn scars from his childhood are gone? Is he the same Mr. Gangster, or is he someone else?

Where and who is Seo Yi Kyung’s husband?

We don’t have a lot of clues for this one. His husband was said to be experimenting on the monster-transforming chemicals and gone missing. Seo Yi Kyung then joined the military to search for him and find the cure for the monster-outbreaks.

I think these questions are purposefully left hanging as I already experienced with Kingdom, a Korean zombie historical series on Netflix too (I will write about them too when the Third Season is out, hopefully). They seem to like to make use of the audience's curiosity to keep the series famous. I personally didn’t really mind about it, as long as they have the next seasons prepared. But if the bad thing happened and they wouldn’t or couldn’t release the next seasons, I bet many audiences would be very disappointed. Let’s just hope they already have the next season and will release it soon!

Overall, I think this series is great and very worth-watching, the fighting scenes between human and monsters (also human and human, because some of them are worst than monsters) are thrilling, but beware of the bloody stuff, though.

I guess this is for now. Please tell me your thoughts about this series, Sweet Home!

See you on the next review!

- Pin

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girlofthefandom · 4 years ago

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Tales from the smp thoughts and random quotes I enjoy (essentially delayed live blogging) Part 1

I love all these npcs already

“Hurry up camera man!”

Yes! Gladiators! I remember seeing someone say that idea

Just some joes

Porkeous the 7th. Oh no I can see the fan girls now.

Yes! Punch em off!!

“Yeah same.”

“That’s good cause I don’t” “we build a new colosseum every time”

I can’t want to see the names of everyone’s characters. Especially Philz’

Stairs everyone’s worst enemy

Tubbo... sweet child

She disappeared!! Witch craft! Burn the witch!

Tubbo=Jacky (forced off streets)

Fundy=Laggius Maximus (I love this name so much with the spinning)

Please don’t kill both the boys in this fight. But also I’m cheating for Laggius.

Subbin Empire? Subbin to Technoblade!

Go Laggius! This is not going to go well... this is really not going to go well...

No I refuse to root for Jacky. I like Laggius the bit will be funnier later.

I want to know what happened to the last camera guy! Let us know!

Vertical feeling! Heaven forbid! Also look at them insulting TikTok

I love the background music. Feels magical.

A lovely jump

Surprises... well that’s ominous. And wait the first one!

Tower! Towers are always good.

We got our popcorn. Ready to watch this fight.

Laggius is... coming... maybe...

GG Jacky... he hasn’t won yet but gg.

Lava!!!! Hooray! Love us some good lava

Poor Laggius... he was burning too early

And Laggius is still lagging

Why isn’t Jacky burning?? He won???

Knocked unconscious in the lava. What is this a Pokémon game?

GG Jacky.

Nobody needs to know the way around here.

“Almost like a video game” just break that fourth wall right down

Keeps looking at sapnaps character and talking about strong. How sweet. We love some fiancé’s.

Please don’t throw Laggius to the wolves

Jack Manifold = Bartholomew

Phil having to translate. I love it.

Watson = Phil

Good pun. Very good pun.

Nobody likes Punz. Gosh everyone’s so mean

We love Watson. Let’s go Watson.

Bartholomew with the drugs and Watson.

Crazy drunk man with fire resistance

I agree with Watson why did we come to this cousin.

Sapnap in a hole

Also I love the drinking age being 3

Let’s go Watson!!!

Where are my Pom poms? I’ve got a Watson to cheer for.

Execute those architects.

And their first Borns.

Watson! Watson! Watson!

“Welcome to the land of the living Bartholomew.”

I love the slow fight.

Come on Watson shoot em!

Oh no. Oh no. Come on Watson. You’re so close!

Noooooooooo.

Why Bartholomew???? I can’t spell that! I’ve been relying on autocorrect this whole time.

Watson would be so much easier to spell.

Still must go down the stairs.

Speed running life. That’s what I do.

No one dies. Just take them to nurse joy.

Poor Punz being so bullied

Punz=Levi

Levi? Really? Oh well I like the name. He won’t like but I like the name.

Also why does Levi have such a full backstory.

Has weapon hands with a horrible southern accent. I love it.

“Hmmm”

Who is Ol’ Sap?

Sapnap = John

And no creativity apparently.

Laggius had the best name for a gladiator. All the others are too boring.

Why are we beating up BBH

Hannah=Genevieve

Genevieve! I can spell that thanks to old Barbie movies!!

Go Genevieve! Trained her life! I love this woman!

Mostly women upstairs. I love it our fandom is so biased.

“Are you sure about that?”

Darlin? Really that’s not the right word.

Go Genevieve! I probably shouldn’t cheer for her since everyone I’ve cheered for has lost.

But still GO GENEVIEVE!!

Our empire is millions in dept

Let’s step up the battle! Let’s gooooo

“Ayyyyy!!!”

Go Genevieve! Levi hush up with your gills.

Jump in! Splish Splash!

Wait why are we listening to Mario Kart music? Wait I recognize this song.

Go Genevieve!!

YES FINALLY! I PICKED THE WINNER!

Levi hush. You done lost messed up southern boi.

Go Genevieve! I can actually spell your name!

I straight forgot Porkeous the 7ths name for a second and had to check my notes.

Stairs. Woop de doo.

“Pick the most handsome” wow

Ol’ Sap = John as I remember. And he’s sticking with it. Bold man sticking with it.

Ranboo = Ran

Just Ran and it’s just the enderman part of the skin. Haha. Very funny.

BBH = Edward

He went from strange voice to normal(ish) voice

I don’t like Edwards speech pattern. At the very least. Yucky.

John v. Edward letsa go

Go John!

Wait we renaming? This is going to get confusing.

Handsome. Can you two quit flirting (not really keeping going)

Alrighty then Ugly v. Edward

Go Ugly! (Sentence I never expected to type)

The seat thing

And saying king Julien. Sigh.

Just BRB real quick.

Thinking about buying things. Oh he meant ad.

Alright Ad 1/3 let’s go.

No I can’t even open chat to watch them instead of the ad. Boooo.

2/3 let’s get this done!

3/3

Snickers just loading for forever

Alrighty we survived.

And a crown really? Just wants his normal skin back.

Let’s go Ugly!

Bo-at battle! Let’s go!

Please don’t shoot Ugly.

Go Ugly!

“King Are you ok!”

I still hate Edwards speech pattern so much

Please. Just pretend to have a fair fight.

The rabbits???? Cant rabbits swim?

Hooray rabbits! I don’t what purpose they serve but I love them.

Edward or Edwardo? Did I miss something?

Ok it seems both.

Shooting a rabbit? Disowner on you disowner on your cow.

Killing pets reference? The references are so good.

YES UGLY!!!! Thank heavens!

I’m 2/4 for choosing the winner.

I hope ugly keeps on winning

“Colosseum Remote Control”

3 in 1 battle how did they not plan correctly for an even number

Nerds hold cameras you heard it here folks

I don’t want to hear deeper for some of these stories. All I want to see is Genevieves further story. She seems deep.

“Massive pigs growling at us. No offense”

Watson trying to clean the table.

We bringing in the Harmonika.

Harmonika fits the moment.

Yes name him handsome! Haha

Grievous is how I’m spelling that stupid sounding name. But it’s better than John and ugly.

I can’t get over the name Ran.

BE GONE LEVI!

I love Watson having to take care of Bartholomew. Translating for him and waking him up.

Phil just can’t resist playing the dad.

No no stopping just fighting.

Also I love Watson saying break it up. I wish Watson had won.

Genevieve sounds like such a lovely lady and she deserves to win.

As much as I love Grevious I want Genevieve to win.

Sapnap=Grevious good gracious this is hard to follow.

Ran is cool. I’m going to kill over listening to them just saying Ran.

Complicated backstory. Found the main character.

Ran is cool.

Wait this place is going down??? Pardon me???

Three person fight is...

Grevious v. Ran v. Bartholomew

Genevieve v. Jacky

Puns! Let’s go! And of course Levi likes Puns.

Everyone is so mean.

GO GENEVIEVE!

And Watson just babysitting Bartholomew

I’m going to get good at spelling Bartholomew. Because I was horrible at it before.

Empire of women!

Cages=Lava

“Mmm what smells good”

Battle star!!

“Boing Boing Boing”

Water dome?

Water Dome in Lava?

Well he tried zombies/bunnies

Lava in the water sphere?

Only fight at top of fishbowl got it.

GO GENEVIEVE!

Come on girl you’ve got this!

No Genevieve babe please don’t lose.

“The boats going down.” “It’s yelling timber.” “Like that song that hasn’t been made yet.”

Hurry up and die. I love it.

NO GENEVIEVE!!!!!

Do do do do

That was a longer fight. But pretty good.

To the cellars! Not to the cellars!

No! The boat is gone!

That was close.

This feels like a funky Pokémon game.

Jacky is a finalist! Good for him. I’m not cheering for him but good for him.

TRIANGLE FORMATION

Who’s missing? Oh wait it’s Bartholomew

“Intense prison cosmetic surgery”

Rabbits! We love rabbits.

Oh no faceplant mode!

What is even happening?!?!

Thinking creatively.

Just don’t die. What a game.

Cant wait to watch the thinking creatively animatic.

In a boat to avoid floating.

Attack!

Go Ran!

Oh we’re lagging.

Disable the dive mode!

The zombies are a bit much. Oh everyone’s actually fighting.

Rats why weren’t there baby zombies when Watson was going. They even made a Phil reference.

No treaties.

Go Ran! Keep on running away.

I love Ran.

GO RAN! I love Grevious. But GO RAN

Faster Zombies. Zombies go zoom.

Oh Grevious won.

Wait why does Ran have grass and why do they see him again.

Placing more dirt to clean old dirt.

Poor Grevious.

I feel sorry for him now.

Stand on da dirt.

Put the rabbits in the cages!!!!

I cheer for Grevious.

And yes there are many a loser.

Everything is so spicy. As in lava is there.

You can’t kick your fiancé’s future descendent out of the gang.

A full inventory

Watson with the backup button!

Seriously all he can do is be a dad.

OH BOY LAGGIOUS IS BACK!

And he’s here for the picture.

And Watson is (still) bullying him!

Bartholomew is pure trouble.

Ooops. The root beer was on the brain.

Watson! Come get your drunk!

Oh wait he actually did! I love this so much.

Petition for more Phil in Tales.

Only Genevieve voting for Jacky

Some people refusing to vote.

I’m sorry who asked if Laggius is ok.

He is always (not) ok

He is fine. See.

I love Laggius’ character the most.

Go winners!

Reformed kinda. If that doesn’t sum up the whole of the smp.

All the grass in the cage.

And Laggius being his slow self.

Nothing v. General

I love how it went from King to Emperor to King

And there is Laggius.

I don’t know how anyone else is spelling Laggius but I like this way and refuse to edit it if it actually spelled different.

Oh we’re getting more ads.

1/3 let’s go

#tales from the smp #tftsmp #dreamsmp #dsmp #delayed liveblogging

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allthebooksandcrannies · 4 years ago

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I know a lot of older people think it's a problem that so many young people don't want to have children, but I think it shows an increased understanding for how much of a responsibility parenting is and how much damage you can do to a child of you're not ready to raise someone.

I think that everyone is capable of being a good parent and I think that some people should never be parents. These may sound mutually exclusive but they aren't because there's a big if involved in the first half. That if, is that everyone is capable of being a good parent someday if they put in the work to take care of their own shit first.

When you become a parent or guardian, you are officially signing on to prioritize another person's physical and emotional needs before your own for the rest of their life. That means loving them no matter what they do or who they become. That means putting aside your own exhaustion and frustration at your day when they walk through the door so that you can be their champion and their confidant and their companion. That means teaching them how to process their emotions and think critically and empathetically and it means letting them find their own path, even if it's different than the one you wanted or imagined for them, but making it clear that if they need or want your comfort, your help, or just your ear that they will have it. You don't have to be perfect. No parent ever is, and it's important anyway for kids to learn in nontraumatic ways that adults make mistakes too and that's okay as long as you take responsibility for that and strive to learn and grow because of your mistakes. Kids learn by watching and listening to the adults around them and the things they conclude from those early years of observation will stick with them the rest of their lives.

I know that that sounds scary. It probably should because deciding to raise a child should be the biggest decision you can make, and if it's not, you may not be taking it seriously enough.

I also know that this is hard. And I have the greatest respect for people who truly understand this and decide to raise a tiny person anyway.

I'm also not trying to discourage you from becoming a parent. You may not be ready now, but that doesn't mean you can't be later. I personally would love to be a mom some day not I know that I have a lot of personal growth and healing I need to take care of first, to say nothing of the stabilization of my financial and career status.

The real question is what can you do to be a better parent, guardian, or even trusted adult to someone else's child (a really important and valid role and choice in itself!) later?

First off, you need to do some hard core introspection to figure out what traits and behaviors you have that might exhibit that would interfere in your ability to be a good parent. Maybe you're still emotionally immature. Maybe you're struggling with uncontrolled mental illness, chronic illness, or addiction. Maybe you've internalized some toxic ideas. Maybe you're still recovering from trauma or just now realizing that what you have even is trauma. None of these things makes you a bad person and none of them stops you from being capable to becoming a good parent. But, all of them can interfere with your ability to model healthy behaviors and coping skills to your child. Children learn through observation and, because their brains need the world to make sense and be predictable, they're going to interpret everytime you seem upset or lose your cool as being their fault. Young children aren't capable of going "mom is upset and snapped over something relatively trivial, she must be having a bad day/be tired/etc" because that's an interpretation of the world that is outside their control. Instead, they're going to go "I did x and mom got mad at me, it's my fault so I better not do x again" and that's a really harmful mindset that can contribute to self-worth issues and other mental illnesses like anxiety, especially if this happens long-term (for the record, you're going to make mistakes and you're going to snap over stupid things because being a grown-up is hard, so when you inevitably make this mistake it's important to be honest and upfront with your child about what happened, why, how it's not their fault, and you have to genuinely apologize for it, turning your mistake into a chance to model good adult behavior).

It's important to take care of yourself and let yourself grow and heal before bringing a kid into the mix because 1. you'll be a better parent if you start out in a better place emotionally and mentally, and 2. because you deserve the chance to be healthy and happy and it's much harder to address the things that are interfering with that when your also trying to juggle the additional emotional/mental demands of raising a child.

Additionally, I definitely recommend making sure you and anyone else taking a primary caretaker role in your child's life is in a stable financial and that the relationship between you and any other caretakers is stable and amicable regardless of what kind of relationship it is. The financial aspect is important because kids are expensive as hell (both the having/acquiring and the raising) and you want to be able to provide then with the best possible shot at life.

This isn't about me but I feel like the example will be helpful. We weren't poverty level growing up, but even as a child it was clear to me that we could be. My parents were 20 year old newlyweds when they got pregnant. My dad had been set up to inherit a position in his father and grandfather's construction company and did not go to college because they thought he was guaranteed a steady job. My mom was paying for a college education she couldn't afford because no one had ever explained how to get financial aid and scholarships to her and her parents were too caught up in their own shit to be anything but relieved about getting to make her future my dad's problem. Then they got pregnant. They started building a house that took much longer to build then expected because that construction business dad was expecting to inherit went out of business because it turned out that a cousin had been embezzling and my great-grandmother wouldn't let them sue or press charges against family. Mom had to drop out of college to raise me because daycare costs as much as she makes at work and she no longer has the time or funds. They had a baby they weren't prepared to raise and my dad's new job had him working in the Texas heat all day before going and working on our house at night so that we could move out of my maternal grandfather's house now that he was getting divorced and couldn't afford it. My parents society never saw each other and they were constantly worried about money. Less than two years after I was born they accidentally got pregnant with my brother. He ended up with failure to thrive and (although he did eventually recover) it raked up a serious amount of debt in addition to my mom's student loans and the mortgage. Flash forward four more years and my dad falls through a roof at a construction site and permanently cripples his ankle. Cue a year of the only breadwinner in the household being unable to work, several surgeries and massive medical bills we can't pay. A year after that my mom has to have a historectomy because her fibroids are causing immense pain and then they find pre-cancerous cells. Another year after that she starts having unexplained siezures and signs of organ failure that will take years to diagnose as a rare autoimmune disorder that will leave her disabled and, again, rake up serious medical debt. I found out in college that it came to the point that we almost lost the house but as a kid I still always knew we were struggling. And that fucks with a kid's head. There were reasons I didn't tell my parents that something was wrong for a week after I sprained my wrist when I was 10 and it wasn't just because I didn't want to sound like I was asking for attention (a phobia that also comes from having emotionally immature parents). I pushed myself ridiculously hard in school because I knew I couldn't expect any help paying for college from my parents. I still feel incredibly guilty anytime I spend more than 20 dollars even though it's my money and I need groceries or textbooks or gas or whatever. A lot of these issues would have been financially difficult and unpredictable, but had my parents been in a more stable position when they got married and started having kids, it would have been much easier to weather the storms.

Additionally, money is the main thing couples fight about, so if you can take that off the table as a significant concern before bringing kids into the mix, please do. Maslow's hierarchy of needs states that you can't address higher order concerns like personal growth of your worried about where your next meal is coming from and that goes for your children as well.

Again, I'm not trying to shame people for their financial difficulties. Most of us are playing at a game we were never intended to win and I get that not all children are planned. But, your good intentions unfortunately will not put food on the table or pay the rent and your children will have a lot less stress in their lives if you are able to make sure that things are as stable as possible before you bring them into it.

The same goes for your relationship with fellow caretakers. Don't try to have kids to save your relationship. Don't ever make your children feel like your relationship is in anyway their responsibility. Again, they need their world to make sense and if you're fighting they're probably going to assume it's somehow their fault. Don't do that to them.

Anyway, this rant turned out a lot longer than I intended but I think I needed to say it. In summary, raising children is not about you but your going to make it about you unless you take care of your own shit first. Children don't ask to be born. If you're not ready for that responsibility, either don't have kids or put in the work so that you will be. If you already have kids, and don't have your shit together, there's still time but it's going to be harder and you might have to do some damage control from any traumas you may have already inflicted on your child, regardless of your intentions. If that's the case, you have a responsibility to get your kid the help they need and do everything in your power to avoid further harm. You're the adult in this situation, and if you're going to be a parent, you need to act like it.

#parenting #emotionally immature parents #childhood trauma #parenting advice #personal rant #personal growth #original post

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freshouttaparsnips · 4 years ago

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Reader is having a bad... life. Slim helps the only way he can.

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a comm fic for @sheewolf85 cause she’s been having a rough time <3333

tags: Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Reader is not gendered, Reader is unnamed, Anxiety, Panic Attacks, Disabled Reader, Fat Reader, Short Reader, Good Boyfriend Slim, Reader is a weeb, Slim is a Weeb

read it on Ao3

or read it below!!!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“You’ll find a real job one day, don’t worry about it.”

That’s what you’d heard the majority of your life, living with family and being around friends that didn’t really understand that you just… weren’t able to keep up with “real jobs”.

You had a bevvy of both emotional and physical issues, none of which were extremely terrible on their own (not that the neurotypicals would understand even if they were), but all together they made one hell of a horrid cocktail of hardship. Even if “other people” had it worse than you, you still struggled enough that actually working a regular, 9-5 job just wasn’t in the cards.

What you really wanted to do was write. It was your passion, your reason for living and creating. Yeah some of your “content” was on the darker side of the spectrum, but nothing about that made it any less fun to post what you’d written online just to see if anyone was going to get emotional because you’d nearly killed a main character off.

Which was, incidentally, how you met Papyrus.

He was into the same anime as you, which was how he found your fics in the first place. He loved the same characters, had some of the same ships (though the man had some wacky crack ships you wouldn’t even touch.)

To be completely honest, once the two of you had started talking over chat websites, you’d mostly hit it off about as perfect as it could have gone. The two of you just sorta… worked. He would commission you to write his ships you’d actually consider, and tipped crazy amounts for what he said were “masterpieces of literature”. You always told him off for it, but no matter how much you pleaded, he’d never let you give any of it back.

Once you realized that he lived no more than two hours from you, he mentioned a park you knew about and the two of you decided to meet up. For real.

It put butterflies in your stomach, thinking about meeting someone that had felt like nothing less than your soul mate for the past year. You knew he was a monster, that he was tall and had a deep, but kind voice. You’d done enough voice chats to know that he was a smoker, seeing as how he’d have a cig out after work when you usually chatted up.

He knew you were human, obviously with the questions you’d ask him about being a monster. He knew you weren’t that keen on your physical appearance, but not exactly what you looked like, and he knew that you were a little on the short side.

But as you walked into the clearing you’d agreed on, catching sight of a lanky skeleton monster standing at the end of the path, a bouquet of flowers in his hands, you almost didn’t believe it.

Not until he caught sight of you, wary hope in his eyes as he called out your name.

“Papyrus?” You answered, and a sparkle of real happiness lit in his eyelights as he all but jogged up to you, flowers forgotten at his side as he looked you up and down.

You were doing the same, noting that he looked… about how you figured he’d look. What from being from a Fellgrounds, the edgy nature of his outfit wasn’t that surprising. A dark purple sweater covered by a deep brown jacket, a crimson collar around his neck and a gold tooth replacing one of his canines. What was surprising was the cute bangle of a bracelet he was wearing around his wrist, the exact one you’d shipped him not 3 months before. On it were two charms, ones that were supposed to be a ship of his, but that he said reminded him of the two of you.

“I can’t believe this…” He murmured, smiling down at you, and you couldn’t help the tears that welled up in your eyes.

“Are those flowers for anyone special, mister skele man?” you teased, Papyrus chuckling as he held them up for you.

“Naw, just some fan I met online. I think we’re headed somewhere special, though.”

Blinking back the wet tears, you gently took them, sniffing once before gesturing with your cane down the short path. “Shall we then?”

And it went from there.

You’d eventually moved in together, when Papyrus found out about your money issues. He made bank, he claimed, so it made sense. Neither of you really thought about your relationship outside of the natural way you got together; cuddling on the slightly too small couch, making meals together as you bumped corners and laughed as you stepped on each other’s toes.

No, it was completely easy, loving Papyrus.

Which was why you had to wonder why it was so hard to love yourself.

You’d been getting a few not so great comments on a few of your last depression-fueled chapters, asking why you’d gone so down hill in your quality, and a few even asking if you’d copied a much more popular writer in fandom. It made your eyes sting with heat, reading them over and over until the words were burned into your mind.

It did nothing to help the low you were in, your body aching fiercely as you tried so hard to get out of bed that morning… only to fail miserably as you hoisted yourself onto your side into a more comfortable position.

Papyrus was out getting groceries, one of his self given chores, leaving you to make a sort of meal plan for the rest of the week based on what he was getting. He’d left you a list and everything, sitting on the kitchen counter downstairs, utterly ignored as you sighed heavily into your pillow.

You weren’t going to cry, not about this. Not whenever you were supposed to have thick skin as a writer. Criticism made you better, not worse, but… if that was the case, why did it hurt so much?

You had to wonder if there wasn’t just something extremely wrong with you. Surely there was, no one else would be crying because someone on the internet said something mean.

You didn’t deserve this life. Didn’t deserve living with your soulmate, didn’t deserve living in your own house with any food you could want at your beck and call, didn’t deserve Papyrus .

Blinking back the tears as they came, you choked on a sob as you thought about it. Papyrus didn’t deserve to be saddled with you, didn’t deserve your fat, ugly, lazy ass sleeping in his bed and eating his food while you did next to nothing to pay the bills.

You didn’t hear the front door open downstairs, didn’t hear Papyrus call your name and hurry up the stairs as he worriedly called for you again.

But as soon as you saw him come through the door, magic searching desperately for you, you sat up.

“I’m s-sorry, I-I’m sorr-ry, I’m-” you said over and over, sobbing ugly tears as Papyrus stepped forward instantly, silent as he gathered you up into his arms, holding you tightly to his chest. You kept saying them, apologies over and over for things you couldn’t name but knew he’d understand, he always understood.

Once you’d calmed down enough to feel shame, having to be coddled like a child by your boyfriend, Papyrus finally spoke.

“What are you sorry for?”

It was the worst question he could have possibly asked, but you owed him an answer. “Being a-a hor-rible partner.”

He shook his head, nuzzling into your hair in the way that never failed to make you melt.

“No, there’s no reason to apologize for that. Anything else?”

You stared off into space, befuddled. “For… for taking up your space?”

Papyrus grunted. “Nope. No reason for that either. Got a better one?”

Now you were squinting at the wall, brows furrowed. “I don’t know, for being a burden on you? I don’t pay any bills, I barely have enough to help with food and get my meds, I can’t help clean every day, I really need a bath and I’m sure I stink but you’re holding me anyways because I’m a big baby- ”

You stopped, taking in a deep breath, letting it out slowly as Papyrus’ grip around you loosened, just enough for him to stare down at you. The love in his eyes, the pure adoration nearly made you take another breath.

“Babe, I’m still not hearing any legitimate reasons for you to be sorry. You help with what you’re able, and because you got shit luck, that’s not a lot by healthy terms, but guess what?” He leaned down, kissing you lightly on the nose. “I don’t care about all that.”

You stared hard up at him. “You don’t?”

“Nope!” He answered brightly, before snuggling down with you on the bed. “Cause I got the best luck when I found you.”

Your mouth was open, eyes wide as you started crying again, only this time Papyrus was there to wipe away the tears, gently holding you as you kissed him.

#fresh writes #undertale #papyrus/reader #swapfell papyrus/reader #fluff #hurt/comfort #anxiety #panic attacks #self deprecation #but Slim is a good bf no worries

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acewong · 4 years ago

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The Interviews || Self-Para

Where: Santa Monica, California / San Francisco, California (in flashbacks)

When: February 2021 / flashbacks throughout Ace’s childhood

Featuring: Robin Horowitz, Tao Wong, Chelsea Cohen

Triggers: Mention of hospitals, mention of surgery

In recent months, Ace had gotten into YouTube, specifically making vlogs. As apart of a series he was doing about his experience as a deaf person, he decided to interview his family to get a better sense of what it was like to watch him grow up and lose his hearing. It wasn’t something they as a family ever really talked about, so part of the project was getting to know the truth for himself.

He went in with a vague idea of what he wanted to ask his family about, but he didn’t have any formal questions written out. Ace figured he didn’t need them because the conversations would flow organically.

Mom

The first interview was with his mom. Ace’s mom worked five days per week, and Ace worked Saturdays, so the only time he could find to interview her was on Sunday morning. After eating breakfast together, Ace set up the camera. He would’ve started sooner, but Robin insisted that she needed to put on something nice and do her hair and makeup. An hour went by, and Robin finally returned to the dining room.

Once Ace gave her the signal that he was recording, Robin said into the camera, “Hi, internet. My name is Robin and I’m Asa’s mom.”

Ace then asked, “So, Mom, did you have any idea that I would lose my hearing when I grew up?”

“I knew it was a possibility, but not that it would happen when you were so young. When I got pregnant with you, I asked your father about his family medical history.”

“And what did he say?”

“He said that a few people in his family had hearing loss. He said that people in his family started to go deaf in their late twenties and early thirties.”

“And what did you say?”

“I said, ‘We’ll cross that bridge when we get to it.’ What else was I going to say? I was already pregnant and I knew I wanted to have you.”

“So how did you feel when I started losing my hearing as a toddler?”

“I was concerned. I was really worried that you would have difficulty learning and making friends in school. What mother wouldn’t worry about that? Plus you were so young and you were still learning how to speak...”

“Did you ever wish that I wasn’t deaf?”

Robin hesitated to answer. She sniffled before replying, “Yes. There were times when I watched you struggle and I wished... I wished I could do more to help you. Everyone wants what’s best for their kid. And you were my baby. You still are my baby. There were times where I wished I had a magic wand I could wave that would give you your hearing back, but there wasn’t. So I had to learn how to help you in other ways.”

“And how did you do that?”

“First I had to learn to communicate with you better. We started learning sign language when you were about eight years old. Looking back, we really should’ve started sooner, but...” She paused to sigh. “We thought hearing aids would make everything better, but they didn’t. So once we realized that, we had to figure out something else that would work better. A friend of mine at work recommended ABC Languages to me. I signed the whole family up for lessons, and they really helped. Your dad and I also had tutors for you for school and after a lot of arguing with your school district, we got an interpreter to go with you to your classes. Do you remember her?”

“Yeah, I remember Miss Marie. So, is there anything you want to say to the people out of the internet?”

“If you want to be a parent, make sure you’re prepared for anything. You never know what your child will grow up to be. You just need to love them no matter what. And if your child has a disability, make sure you give them a little extra special care and be patient with them.”

Ace stopped the camera, then said, “That was very nicely said, Mom.”

“Thanks, Ace. I’m going to take this make-up off now.”

Dad

The second interview was with his dad. His dad also worked a 9-5 job, so Ace decided to conduct his interview on the same day as his mom’s. After Robin was done, Tao swapped in. In hindsight, he probably should have interviewed his dad while his mom was getting ready to be on camera, but it was too late for that.

“Hello everyone, I am Tao. Thank you for having me on your show,” Tao said, smiling at the camera.

“Thanks for coming on. So, Dad, Mom told me that you knew that you had a family history of deafness when she was pregnant with me. Were you worried that I would go deaf?”

“My father started to lose his hearing when he was in his thirties, and my brother was in his late twenties. I knew it could happen, but... I don’t think I was fully prepared. Your mother was more prepared than I was. She already had your sisters when we got together, so she knew what raising children was like. I didn’t, at that point.”

“Can you talk about when you found out that I was losing my hearing and what your reaction was?”

“Sure. Your mom and I found out in 2002. You were in preschool and your teacher told us that you weren’t listening to her in class. We noticed that you would ask people to repeat themselves a lot. We took you to get a hearing exam and the doctor told us that you were starting to go deaf. I was in shock, honestly. Again, I wasn’t fully prepared. I thought that if it ever did happen, you would be an adult...”

“Did you ever wish I wasn’t deaf?”

“At first I did, but then I realized that it’s a part of you. I remember there was one day you came home from your sign language lessons and you were so excited to show us the new phrase you learned. You learned how to sign the word ‘proud.’ You signed, ‘I’m deaf, and I’m proud.’” Tao signed the phrase as he said it aloud. “You’re my kid, and I love you. All of you. Even when you don’t do the dishes when I ask you to.”

Ace chuckled at his dad’s quip. “So is there anything else you want to say to the people of the internet?”

“Always be proud of who you are, unless you’re a murderer. Then maybe not... And when your dad asks you to do the dishes, please just do them. It’s not that hard.”

“Alright, I get it! I’ll do the dishes when I put my camera away!” he whined, pausing the recording.

Chelsea

The last interview was with his sister, Chelsea. Chelsea was the most reluctant to participate in Ace’s project. He saved her interview for last because he wanted to make sure she was comfortable first. Ace conducted her interview about a week after his parents.

“Can you introduce yourself to everyone?” Ace asked, turning the camera on.

“I’m Chelsea.”

“And can you tell everyone what your relationship to me is?”

“I’m your older half-sister.”

“So, Chelsea, can you talk about what our relationship was like growing up?”

“It... wasn’t easy. It was mostly my fault, though. Abby and I were real jealous of you.”

Ace interrupted to clarify, “Abby is our eldest sister. She doesn’t live with us. Sorry, continue.”

“Abby was ten when you were born, and I was eight. Neither of us really wanted anything to do with you. No offense. You kinda took all the attention away from us.”

“None taken. Do you think our relationship changed after I started losing my hearing?”

“Between you and me? Not really. I was still jealous. I was kind of a little shit back then.”

“What do you mean by that?”

“I just kinda ignored you. You’d try to hang out with me and shit, but I never wanted to. You’d try to sign with me, but I never really paid attention in those ASL classes, so I didn’t even know what you were saying to me half the time. It was shitty.”

“When do you think we started getting close?”

“When you got your surgery for your implant.”

“Can you talk more about that?”

“Uh. Yeah. Sure. Well, you were thirteen, and I just turned twenty-one. I had my own shit going on back then and I was really only thinking about myself. But I just came back to town that week, and Mom wanted all of us to be there with you when you woke up. Looking at you in the hospital bed, seeing how small and vulnerable you were, something just clicked for me. I thought to myself, ‘I need to be a better sister. We’re family, we should be sticking together.’”

Ace felt himself tearing up when she said that. Chelsea struggled a lot with her mental health back then, so Ace was glad that she was finally able to talk about it to a degree. His relationship with his sister still wasn’t the strongest, but he was so glad to be getting closer to her as an adult. “So is there anything else you want to say to the people of the internet?”

“ACAB.”

Ace laughed as he stopped the camera. “Thanks, Chels. Fuck, I’m definitely gonna keep that part in there.”

“You fuckin’ better.”

#self para #Robin Horowitz #Tao Wong #Chelsea Cohen

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swanqueeneverafter · 4 years ago

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Sins of the Past Pt.14

Camelot. Courtyard. (Finally arriving back at the castle, Lancelot leads the knights into the courtyard where Morgana has been addressing the people.) Morgana: (Directly to Lancelot:) "As your Queen, I expect your allegiance and devotion." Lancelot: (Dismounting his horse:) "Is that right? Well it just so happens that there is but one Queen that we recognise. Long live Queen Quinevere!" Knights: "Long live Queen Guinevere!" Morgana: (Coldly:) "I will give you one more chance to pledge your allegiance to me." Lancelot: "Long live Queen Guinevere!" Knights: "Long live Queen Guinevere!" (To Morgana's dismay, several of the villagers and courtiers begin to chant along with the knights.) Morgause: (Stepping in:) "Perhaps this will help you change your mind." (Morgause raises her hand and several soldiers raise their crossbows.) Lancelot: (Defiantly:) "Long live Queen Guinevere! (Using her powers, Morgause forces the soldiers to turn and point their crossbows at the unarmed villagers:) No!" (Before the men can shoot however, a battle cry is heard as Xena and Gabrielle arrive. Hurling her chakram, Xena disables the crossbows while flipping in mid air and catching the weapon upon its return.) Gabrielle: (Seeing the glint return to Xena's eyes:) "I guess I don't need to ask if you're ready to fight." Xena: (Drawing her sword and twirling it:) "Bring 'em on."

(A battle breaks out between the soldiers loyal to Morgana and the knights. Xena and Gabrielle evening up the odds for Lancelot's men. Somehow managing to remain unnoticed amongst the fighting, Merida raises her bow and points it towards the balcony. Knowing that she'll only get one shot, Merida is torn and unable to decide who to shoot before reinforcements arrive in the courtyard.) Morgana: "Take them to the dungeons! (To Morgause:) Have Lancelot brought to the throne room." Morgause: "Yes, Your Highness." (Morgana leaves the balcony while Morgause watches with a satisfied smile as the rebels are rounded up below.) Neverland. (Armed with her own bow and arrow, Tiger Lily leads Regina and Emma through the uneven terrain as they carry Maria between them.) Emma: "So you mean to tell me that since Pan left, magic has pretty much disappeared from Neverland?" Tiger Lily: "Mostly, yes. There are still pockets of magic scattered across the island, but not many." Regina: "Obviously Pan's hideaway is one of those pockets and once we're back inside it, we can poof ourselves back home." Emma: "Is that why you're still here? You were stranded once the magic left?" Tiger Lily: "No, mine is a self imposed exile. This existence, where I am far from the temptations of magic, suits me much better." Emma: "Is that because of what happened with Rumplestiltskin? Is that what drove you away?" Tiger Lily: (Shakes her head:) "Those events took place hundreds of years ago, Emma. I continued my duties as a fairy godmother to countless children after Rumplestiltskin." Regina: "So what caused you to give up that life?" Tiger Lily: (Stops walking and faces them:) "There was another child who’s fate was forever altered by my actions. A beautiful baby girl was born to the King and Queen of a powerful nation. All was well at first, until the day it was discovered that the girl held magical powers. The King had come to power at a time where the people were distrustful of magic. Indeed, it was the King who had ordered many people, including children, to be drowned if they were discovered to possess magic." Regina: "The Great Purge. You're talking about Uther Pendragon?" Tiger Lily: (Nodding, continues:) "Queen Ygraine begged me to save her child from that same fate. And so, under the cover of darkness, I smuggled the infant Morgause out of Camelot and gave her to the High Priestesses of the Old Religion to raise. Uther was told that the child had died and I swore an oath never to reveal my actions to anyone. After that, I left my life as a fairy behind me, determined never again to play a part in ruining another child's life." Emma: "You know, if she and Morgana hadn't just put a bounty on my head, I might've felt sorry for Morgause." Regina: (Looking behind them:) "Speaking of which, it seems we have a few bounty hunters on our tail." Tiger Lily: "Lost Boys. Quick, this way!" (Regina and Emma follow Tiger Lily while the hollering of the Lost Boys draws ever nearer.)

Arendelle. (With everyone now awake and the party cancelled, Elsa is pacing worriedly as she learns that Lily hasn’t been seen or heard from. Anna speaks to Hook and Rumplestiltskin who were called to aid in the search. Kristoff is casually holding onto a chair, attempting to remain calm.) Elsa: "So, no one has heard from Lily? There's been no sightings from anyone in the castle?" Kristoff: "Since you asked me ten seconds ago? Nope." Hook: “Something is definitely going on here. First my wife goes missing, now my daughter.” Anna: (Suddenly grabbing him by his shirt:) “All right, Mr. Pirate Man, think! Who have you messed with that would want to take their revenge on you by kidnapping Lily?!” Kristoff: (Helpfully:) “And Maleficent.” Anna: “Her too. (Shaking Hook:) Well?!” Elsa: “Anna! Release him this instant!” (With a growl, Anna releases Hook. Kristoff takes her hand and moves her away.) Hook: “It’s all right, love. I’ve been asking myself the same question since I got here. The truth is, I just don’t know who would want to do this.” Rumplestiltskin: “There is the possibility that this has nothing to do with revenge. We don’t even know if the two disappearances are connected. Maleficent could simply be spending sometime alone. Perhaps she’s in the Forbidden Fortress as we speak?” Anna: “Well, Lily has definitely been taken. She wouldn’t just get up and leave my sister’s birthday party. We’ve been working on it together for months!” Elsa: “I can't just sit here. I'm going after her.” Kristoff: “Go where? There are no tracks to follow.” Elsa: “That’s impossible. Lily can’t just have vanished.” Kristoff: (Sighs:) “I don’t suppose there’s any point in trying to stop you?” Elsa: “You can't. I'm the queen.” Rumplestiltskin: (Cutting in:) “Which is exactly why you need to stay in Arendelle. There has already been one Queen overthrown today. Until we know exactly what’s going on, we can’t rule out any possibility.” Elsa: “You think someone kidnapped Lily in an attempt to get me to abdicate?” (At that moment, a guard enters without knocking, clearly with important news.) Guard: "Your majesty. I apologize for barging in like this, but we have news from one of our scouts.” Elsa: (Hopeful:) “Have you found Lily?” Guard: “No. But they discovered something else in their search.” (He hands Elsa a leather wrapped piece of parchment. Elsa reads the report on the parchment.) Anna: “What does it say?” Elsa: “Lady Helen, or at least the real Lady Helen, was found dead in the outskirts of the forest.” Kristoff: “Well that's one less person to interrogate. Look, I know every inch of those mountains out there. Let me go and start the search for Lily.” Elsa: “No, you're not going anywhere. It's too dangerous. If Mr. Stiltskin’s right and Lily was taken because of me then the kidnappers would be only too happy to capture my brother in law too." Kristoff: “So I'll be real careful.” Elsa: “You're staying right here. As you said, I am the queen of Arendelle. So let me be the queen and handle it.”

A Cave. Location Unknown. (Much like Elsa, Lily is seen pacing. Unlike Elsa, Lily is confined to a cage. Grabbing the bars, she shakes them violently, screaming to be let out. Crouching down in the corner of her cell, Lily attempts to metamorphose into her dragon form.) Balinor: (Entering the cave carrying firewood:) "That won't work. (Lily opens her eyes and stares at the man:) That cage is designed to keep you contained in your current form." Lily: "Why am I here? What do you want with me?" Balinor: "That can wait. I was told you didn't get to eat anything at your fancy party. (Indicates the firewood:) So I'm fixing dinner." Lily: "I have powerful allies. Friends and family who will come looking for me. My mother-" Balinor: "We know about your mother." (They stare at each other, Balinor dropping his gaze first.) Lily: "What have you done with her?" Balinor: (Walks away:) "Don't worry yourself needlessly tonight, little one." Lily: "Where is she? Do you hear me? What have you done with her?!" Wonderland. Grendel's House. (Still sitting on the kitchen floor and struggling with her bonds, Ella looks to Will who continues to stare at the images playing over and over within the knot.) Ella: “Will, let's get out of here. I can't find my mother if I'm dead. Forget the knot.” Will: “We've got to have it. Let me talk to him. Don't worry. I'm good with monsters.” Ella: “No. This is for me, and I say we find another way.” Will: “This is for me, too, and we're doing it. (Cheerily:) Excuse me, Mr. Grendel? That woman that you've been looking at, she's quite lovely.” Grendel: “Stop talking.” Will: “Do you know her? Does she have a name?” (The Grendel growls and stalks over to Will, raising his hand. Then, his attention caught by the images playing in the Forget-Me-Knot, The Grendel calms, watching.) Young Woman: “Tell it again, dear. I love that story.” Young Man: “I would gladly tell it to you-” Grendel: “Forever.” (The Grendel sighs as the young couple kiss.) Will: “She was yours, wasn't she? You loved her. (Grendel growls:) Losing someone you truly love, it can change you.” Grendel: “How do you know?” Will: “Because the way you look is how I felt. Believe me, I understand what you're going through.” Ella: (Whispers:) “Keep talking. It's working.” Will: “I say that the only way to move on is to leave the past behind ya. Looking through that knot, thinking about her, seeing her, remembering her. It hurts too much! You want to move on, you have to let go of the hurt. It's the only way.” Grendel: “I don't want to move on.” Will: “Sometimes you don't have a choice. It's for the best, mate. Trust me.” Grendel: “Silence! (He grabs an axe, pointing it at Will:) Dinner time.” (The Grendel walks over to the fireplace and adds another log to the flames.)

Storybrooke. Mayor's Office. (Snow White stands with her arms folded, clearly ready to argue.) Snow White: "Just admit it. You feel embarrassed about the jousting competition and you don't want to show your face at the camp site." David: "I am not embarrassed. Aladdin won fair and square. He got to his feet before I did. I have nothing to be ashamed of." Snow White: "No, of course not. Neither did Humpty Dumpty." David: (While Snow sniggers with laughter:) "Oh I see, you're enjoying this. All right, laugh it up. (Snow does, continuing to laugh:) I refuse to be embarrassed by something you're partially responsible for. (Snow continues to giggle, using her hands to mime David trying and failing to get back to his feet:) You know what? Fine. You want to hear an embarrassing story, how about this..." Storybrooke. Recent Past. Outside Swan-Mills House. (Emma waits outside for David to pick her up in the police cruiser when she receives a call.) Emma: "Hey, 'Gina, what's up?" Regina: "Oh, nothing, just missing you. We both are." Emma: (Smiles:) "Yeah? You guys still in bed?" Regina: "We sure are. Want to see?" Emma: (Looking around to make sure she's alone:) "I'd love that." Regina: "Hang on a sec." (Emma waits a moment, then receives a photo of Regina and baby Maria laying in bed together.) Emma: "Aw, you look so comfy, now I'm gonna miss you both even more." Regina: "I know, but we'll be right here waiting for you when you get home." Emma: (Smirks, looking back towards the house:) "You know technically I'm still at home." Regina: "Then come back to bed." Emma: (Sighs:) "You know I can't. They're short-handed at the station. (David pulls up alongside her:) David's here, I better go." Regina: "Hm. Well all right, but only if you call me that name I like. (Emma, seeing David stepping out of the car, mutters something unintelligible:) What was that? I couldn't hear you." Emma: (Louder:) "I said I love you, Smoopsie Poo." David: (Standing behind Emma:) "Damnit!" (Emma spins around to face her father, utterly mortified.) Regina: (Magically putting herself on speaker:) "I told you I could get her to say it." David: "Yeah, yeah you did." (David passes by Emma, walking to the front door and posts twenty dollars through the letterbox.) Emma: "Wait, you guys set me up?" (Emma receives another photo, this time of Regina with her tongue out and the caption: ‘Sorry, Snuggle Bunny.’) Regina: (Chuckling:) "Have a good day, Sheriff." (Regina hangs up.) Mayor's Office. Present. Snow White: (Having listened to David's story:) "Well sure, that's a little embarrassing, but you can bet Emma didn't just take that lying down. And that's all I'm saying, David. Yes, you were humiliated, but that doesn't mean you can just hide out here all day." David: (Putting his hands up:) "You're right, of course you're right. I'll see you tonight." (David leaves and Snow returns to her paperwork.)

Mayor's Office. Recent Past. (Stuck in a boring council meeting, Regina sits behind her desk reading through a stack of papers while Snow White makes her closing statement. Although used to tolerating her former step-daughter/current mother-in-law's long, rambling speeches, Regina isn't exactly thrilled to be forced to listen to one less than a week removed from the end of her maternity leave. After reading the same sentence for the third time and still not understanding it, Regina glances up to see Archie asking Snow a question that will undoubtedly prolong the meeting for at least another ten minutes. Resignedly, Regina returns her attention to her papers. After finally managing to read through the document, Regina places it face down on her desk before picking up another. The next document in question is actually a letter market 'urgent', written in familiar handwriting. Looking up once more to check it isn't time for her to speak, Regina slices open the letter and begins to read.)

Dear Mayor Swan-Mills,

Please can you help me as I have nowhere else to turn. It seems I have spent the whole day baking and yet have no one here to taste the 'forbidden fruits' of my labour. As you can see from the enclosed photograph, the kitchen really did become quite hot, but I managed to keep my apron on regardless.

Hoping you are well, Emma

P.S. Maria is asleep and if you're not home in five minutes, I'm starting without you. xxx

Regina: (Practically jumping to her feet:) "This meeting is adjourned." Archie: "But I was just-" Regina: "I said we are done here!" (The members of the council meeting begin to file out of the office while Regina starts stuffing papers frantically into her bag.) Snow White: (Concerned:) "Is everything all right?" Regina: (Distractedly:) "Hm? Oh, yes it's fine. I just have to leave, immediately. (As Snow continues to stare at her:) Really, it's nothing. Your daughter's laid out a lovely spread... (An explicit image flashes in her minds eye:) Er... I mean she's in heat. (Gasps:) I mean Emma's prepared something hot and I have to go and eat her. I mean the meal! Oh, whatever!" (As a flustered Regina disappears in a cloud of smoke, Snow shakes her head knowingly, not having been fooled for a second.)

Neverland. Present. (Still too far from Pan's Hideout, Regina, Emma and Tiger Lily decide to take a stand. Placing Maria's carrier on the ground, they turn to face the oncoming group of Lost Boys.) Lost Boy 1: "Over there!" Emma: "Listen, we don't want any trouble and clearly we're not going to fight you." Lost Boy 1: "There's only one thing we want from you." Regina: (Stepping forward:) "If you think I'm going to let a group of unwashed adolescents claim the bounty on my wife's head-" Lost Boy 1: "Bounty? What do we care about a bounty? We're here to make you pay for what happened to Pan." Storybrooke. Main Street. (Presumably headed towards the mines, Happy and Grumpy walk down the street with their pickaxes over their shoulders. At the sound of horses approaching, the dwarves turn to see three knights arrive on horseback.) Grumpy: (One of the knights dismounts and draws his sword:) "Didn't anyone ever teach you not to mess with a dwarf and his pickaxe?" (Grumpy swings and is quickly disarmed. Happy's axe is taken from him without a fight. Forced to their knees, the dwarves look up to see the third knight remove his helmet.) Third Knight: "Didn't anyone ever teach you to kneel before your betters? Now, tell me where Emma Swan is."

#sq #swanqueen #swan queen

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thelittlesttimelord · 4 years ago

Text

The Littlest Timelord: The Fall of the Eleventh Chapter 32

TITLE: The Littlest Timelord: The Fall of the Eleventh Chapter 32 PAIRING: No Pairing RATING: T CHAPTER: 32/? SUMMARY: Elise Smith is now a teenaged Timelord. In addition to losing the Ponds, the fields of Trenzalore are calling. But first they have to figure out exactly who Clara Oswald is.

[A/N - For being patient with me, you’ll be getting two chapters this weekend. One today and one tomorrow.]

The Doctor woke up to voices whispering. He pulled himself from under the wreckage of the TARDIS and approached the three men.

“It's rude to whisper. Hi. I'm the Doctor. And you are…?” He examined the names on the men’s jackets. “Er, Van Baalen and Van Baalen. Van Baalen and Van Baalen. That's going to get confusing later.”

“We found you drifting,” Van Baalen said.

“Yeah, your ship was junked up pretty bad,” the other Van Baalen said.

“What broke my ship was a Magno-Grab. Found this remote in your pocket.” The Doctor held up the remote. “Eh? What are the chances? Outlawed in most galaxies, this little beastie can disable whole vessels unless you have shield oscillators, which I turned off so that Clara could fly. Dammit.”

He paused for a moment, realizing Clara was with him. “Clara. Where is she? Girl, about so high. Feisty. She's still on board. Along with Elise!”

Elise hadn’t been the control room with them, so there was no telling where she was in the ship.

The Doctor ran towards the TARDIS, but the third man grabbed his arm.

“No, wait. Your pod is leaking fuel. If they’re still in here, they’re dead.” By the way he spoke, it was obvious he was an android.

The Doctor looked around and saw respirators. “Ah, respirators.” He ran over them.

“We can open the doors for a split second, reach in and grab her,” Van Baalen said.

“Trust me, we can't. Now please, help me get them out.”

“I'm telling you, she fried…” the android said.

“Shut it, tin mouth,” Van Baalen snapped, “What sort of fee are we talking?”

“If you help me get her out, you get the machine, all the scrap, eh?” the Doctor suggested.

“It's not worth the risk. Four feet of metal? Nah,” the other Van Baalen said.

“What if I can guarantee you the best haul you've ever had?”

“Bram, open the bay doors,” Van Baalen told him.

“No, no. Please, stop. Listen, listen. Right behind those doors is the salvage of a lifetime.”

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Elise woke up on the floor of her room. She was lying in her bed when there was a loud bang. Her room was bathed in red light and the cloister bell was ringing.

“Well this is not good.”

She picked herself up off the floor and left her room. Elise gasped when she saw the condition the TARDIS was in.

Cables hung from the ceiling and wreckage was scattered along the floor. Her poor blue box.

Elise snapped out of it. She needed to focus if she was going to find Clara and her father. She couldn’t afford to be scared at a time like this. She needed to be brave. Elise walked towards a bulkhead door.

A red light was flashing above the door.

“Okay, not going that way.” She knew better than to try and open that door.

The TARDIS just wanted to protect her inhabitants.

Elise turned around and started walking back down the corridor. “Clara! Dad!”

Long scratch marks covered the walls. What the hell was going on?

Elise heard a loud growl and carefully turned around, seeing a burnt creature. She screamed and started running.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

“Hey, are we really going to risk it?” Bram asked, “That thing is spewing poison. We should blow it back into space.”

“Get your gear,” Van Baalen told him.

“Hey, I don't take orders from my kid brother.”

“Don't try and form sentences, all right? Stick to what you do best.”

“Tell me, since when does an android need a blast suit and a respirator?” the Doctor asked, watching the android put gloves on.

“Flesh coating, same as us. He'd burn up,” Bram explained.

“No fear, no hate, no pain,” the android said.

The Doctor put on his respirator and walked over to the TARDIS, unlocking it.

“Salvage of a lifetime?” Van Baalen asked.

“I feel pretty confident I can deliver on that. Here we go.”

The doors opened and smoke poured out.

They entered the TARDIS.

“I don't get it. I thought she was lying on her side,” Van Baalen said.

“The TARDIS is special. She has her own gravity. I'd explain if I had some charts and a board pen,” the Doctor told him.

“It's…it's…it's bigger…”

“On the inside. Do you know, I get that a lot.”

“Whoa. Awesome,” the android said in awe.

“Well put. Whoa and awesome.” He turned a dial and the smoke disappeared. “Safe to breathe.”

They removed their respirators and the Doctor scanned the area with the sonic screwdriver. “Okay, now, the last thing I remember, you were right there. Come on, Clara, talk to me.”

“How big is this baby?” Bram asked.

“Picture the biggest ship you've ever seen. Are you picturing it?”

“Yeah.”

“Good. Now forget it, because this ship is infinite.”

“It could take you hours to find your crew,” Van Baalen said.

“Days. Plus this whole place is toxic. Clara could be dead by the time I reach her. As for Elise, she’s already died once under my watch and I’m not about to let that happen again. So, here's the mission. We're going to find them in one hour.”

“We?”

“You're my guys for this.”

“That wasn't the deal.”

“'Tis now.”

“What makes you think we'll help?” Bram asked.

The Doctor threw two levers and a countdown appeared on the monitor. “I just activated the TARDIS self-destruct system. One hour until this ship blows.��

Bram ran for the door, only to have it slam shut in his face.

“Don't try to leave. The TARDIS is in lockdown. I'll open those doors when Clara and Elise are by my side.”

“You crazy lunatic!” Bram yelled.

“My ship, my rules!”

“You'll kill us all. And the girls,” Van Baalen told him.

“They’re going to die if you don't help me. Don't get into a spaceship with a madman. Didn't anyone ever teach you that? Okay, a little gently persuasion. Say thirty minutes.” The Doctor pressed a button and it jumped down to thirty minutes.

“She'll die even quicker now!” Bram yelled.

“We all perform better under pressure. Anybody want to go for fifteen minutes?”

His finger hovered above the button and everyone protested. “It's your own time you're wasting. Salvage of a lifetime. You meant the ship. I meant Clara and Elise. Oh and should I mention, Elise also happens to be my daughter? Never underestimate the lengths I would go to to keep her safe. There is nothing more dangerous than a protective father.”

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Clara ran into a room. She was shocked to find it was a child’s nursery.

There were toys scattered along the floor. Was this Elise’s old room?

A row of bookshelves sat along the wall. She walked over to them and picked up a book.

“To: Clarice. Love: The Doctor.”

Clarice? Who was Clarice?

Clara turned around and there were two beds and a cradle.

The beds had circular writing on the foot of them, much like the symbols in the control room. On the cradle, the writing was on the side.

A picture sat on the bedside table of one of the beds. Clara picked it up and saw a family.

The father was tall, dark, and handsome with dark hair and blue eyes. The woman, with brown hair and hazel eyes, stood beaming with a baby in her arms. It was a boy by the looks of it, with green eyes and dark brown hair. He kinda looked like what Clara would imagine the Doctor looked like as a child. Standing in front of the man and woman were two girls. One had brown hair and blue eyes, while the other one had black hair and violet eyes.

Who was this family? And why did they have a room on the TARDIS?

Something in the room growled and Clara ran out. As she was running, she collided with Elise. “Elise! Oh my god!” Clara threw her arms around the Timelord.

“Clara? What happened?” Elise asked her.

Clara explained while they explored the TARDIS.

Elise rolled her eyes. “Of course that would happen.”

They eventually came to the control room.

“Oh, thank you. Thank you. Thank you, thank you, thank you!” Clara cheered. She ran to the console and placed a kiss on it.

“Um, Clara,” Elise said.

“Yeah?”

“I don’t think this is the control room.”

“Why?”

Elise pointed at the wall. “No door. This must be a copy room.”

“No. You can't do this!”

“Obviously the TARDIS showed us this room because it’s important. Despite what you might think Clara, the TARDIS just wants her inhabitants to be safe.”

“No, I’m going to find a way out.” Clara turned to leave.

“Clara! Wait!” Elise ran after her, only for the TARDIS to show them the same control room.

“Oh, why are you doing this?” Clara whined.

“Because we need to be here! She’s trying to keep us safe!”

The two girls screamed when a piece of metal appeared in the control room.

“What’s happening?” Clara asked.

“Just stay calm, Clara. He’ll find us and save us. He always does.”

Clara ran over to a door and pressed the button.

The burnt creature was standing there.

She screamed and ran back to the console.

The girls ran around the console, avoiding the creature.

“Who are you?” Clara asked.

“Why does it matter! It wants to kill us!” Elise yelled at her.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Tricky and the Doctor ran into a control room. “Back where we started,” Tricky said.

The Doctor ran to the console. “No, it's an echo. The console room is the safest place on the ship. It can replicate itself any number of times. It's trying to protect us,” the Doctor told him.

“Because I tried to give back the circuit?”

“Team TARDIS.” The Doctor rummaged around and a piece of metal fell.

Only it didn’t hit the floor. It completely disappeared.

“Where did…where did that go?” Tricky asked.

“There's more than one echo room. Hey, look, look.” Two shadows appeared on the console. “The TARDIS has got Clara and Elise safe. That was them. That was them there.” The Doctor kissed his hands and pressed them to the rotor. “Thank you, thank you, thank you.” This Elise would not die on his watch.

“But why…why can’t we see her?” Tricky asked.

“It's like a light switch. Two positions, flickering at super-infinite speeds. We're only together for a brief second. Shush.”

They could hear Clara panting and Elise trying to reassure her.

“I can hear them.”

They heard Elise and Clara scream and a loud growl.

“She's let it in. She's let it in!” Tricky yelled.

“If I can just isolate their position, I can nudge the alternation, reach in and grab them.”

“Console room, echo imprint of the original,” they heard.

“You're coming with me. I need you to get me out of here,” Gregor said, grabbing Tricky.

The Doctor soniced Gregor’s computer.

“Scanning for female human. Scanning for female descendant. Scanning for female human. Scanning for female descendant. Unidentified human.”

They moved closer to the doors.

“It doesn't know Lancashire and of course it won’t recognize Elise.”

“What?” Gregor asked.

“It doesn't know sass. Yes! It's found Clara and Elise. It's found them. They’re right there.”

Clara and Elise partially appeared. The Doctor grabbed them and pulled them through. The Doctor hugged Clara. “It's all right. Clara, I'm so, so sorry. Sorry. Please, please forgive me, Clara.”

Clara hit him on the arm.

“Ow! Okay, so we're not doing hugging. I get that now.”

Elise, however, threw her arms around his neck.

“It’s okay. You’re safe. You’re safe.” He kissed her head, thanking whatever gods existed that she was okay.

#eleventh doctor imagine #eleventh doctor imagines #eleventh doctor #doctor who imagine #doctor who #Doctor Who fanfiction #clara oswald #clara oswald imagine #the littlest timelord #the littlest timelord: the fall of the eleventh #journey to the center of the TARDIS

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deathvalleyqueen · 4 years ago

Note

Full clear on OC asks for Sam! 💋

Thank you my dear... now lets gush about John’s first born and only son shall we???

BASICS

What’s their full name? - Samuel Joseph Seed

What does their name mean? Why were they named that? - Well he was going to be named Joseph, after his Uncle...The Father... but his mother was having none of that and switched out the birth certificate forms for the one she had filled out because there was no way in hell Mary Jane was about to let her precious baby boy be named after Joseph... though she allowed his middle name to be Joseph as a way to keep the peace.

Do they have any nicknames? - SOOOO MANY! Sam - is the most common one and what most people call him. Sammie - What MJ still calls him even as an adult. Bubby - Ellie’s nickname for him as a child, Thing 1 - Sean’s nickname for him as kids. Cousin It - Finn’s nickname for him. Jesus - another Finn nickname. (because he looks like the only image of Jesus they had ever seen) Weasel - Mac gives him this as small child and sticks.

How old are they? - At the time of New Dawn 24 almost 25 years old.

When’s their birthday? - October 19th

What’s their zodiac sign/element/birthstone/etc.? Do they believe that holds any significance?

What’s their species/subspecies? Do they have any special/magical abilities? - He’s a Seed... does that count? He has John’s “far too blue” eyes...so like... That could be considered super powers....

What “class” do they belong to (for fantasy characters)? If none, what weapon do they favor? - If there was such thing as a Healer Mage class in the FC universe.. .that would probably be Sam’s class because he is exceptionally smart with a real focus in medicine and science/chemistry. If the Collapse wouldn’t have happened he would probably have gone to Med School to become a surgeon.

APPEARANCE

What do they look like? - Same is the tallest of MJ and John’s kids standing just a hair taller than his father at 5′11. He has long dark brown hair and an impressive beard, both of which he has sported since he was 16 making him often be mistaken for much older than he is. He slight of build and looks to be in far better shape physically than he is actually is.

Do they have a face claim? - Tom Payne - Specifically as Paul “Jesus” Rovia from TWD

What’s their style like? Clothes, hair, makeup? - He is a pretty standard guy. He isn’t fancy, mostly because this world doesn’t allow for it. He likes t-shirts, sweaters and jeans. He will wear an old button up shirt if he can find it and has several trench coats he has acquired over the years. His hair is usually down and one the rare occasion that he puts it up, Lily always glares at him and tells him to put his hair down before their mother sees... because with his hair up.. he looks a lot like a young Joseph.

How do they carry themselves? What’s their default expression? - Sam is a very self assured young man, bordering on the cockiness of John in his youth. He has been painfully aware that he was always one of the more intelligent people in the room from a young age and developed a bit of a superiority complex because of it. He tends to stand with his shoulders back and hands at his side or in his pockets. He is an observer, rarely the person leading the conversation but always watching and passing his judgment.

Do they have any physical ailments or disabilities? - Sam is the only one of MJ and John’s kids to have been born with health issues. He had a medium sized hole in his heart when he was born that eventually required surgery. Though since that surgery had very little issue besides a heart mummer. This however left MJ way over protective of him well into adulthood.

PERSONALITY

What’s their alignment? Lawful Neutral

Which one of the 16 Personality Types do they fit into? - INTP

What are their hobbies and interests? Do they have any particular “favorites” (food, books, and so on)? - Sam loves music, he plays piano and guitar. He is much more of a classical music person and as a child spent hours practicing. His favorite books are Animal Farm and Frankenstein. His favorite food as a child was pizza and pasta, as an adult he is happy with whatever he can get but still loves carbs. His favorite item from his childhood he was able to keep was a model plane that John and him made when he was 6. It’s of John’s plane.

What are they bad at? - Dealing with intense emotions, both their own and other people’s. He never knows how to react and often seems to ‘over react’ with his own emotions. He also can not shoot to save his life.

What kind of things do they dislike/hate? - Unnecessary cruelty. Onions, Fish and split pea soup.

Do they have any vices/addictions/mental illnesses? - Well... lets just start with he has a lot of childhood trauma... which defiantly manifests it’s self in some pretty well hidden anxiety and depression. He also comes from a long line of people who suffer with various addictions and I could see Sam having again...a very well hidden...drinking problem. Particularly post-ND events.

What are their goals and motivations? - Their end goal is not peace, as much as an agreement that would allow everyone to function as they need to with in a certain set of rules... IE... he wants to re-establish a ruling body of government on a very small scale in Hope County that would allow for the communities to work together when needed but function independently as they wish as long as they cause no harm to the other communities. This is motivated by his study of history and his belief that because he has studied so much, he has found fault in the old systems and what he will build will be better.

What are their manners like? Any habits? - He has an odd stillness about him, even as small child. He was the quite one, the better behaved of the twins (easily the most well behaved of all MJ and John’s children). He tends to crack his knuckles when he is nervous or clear his throat when he feels the conversation is getting off topic.

What are they most afraid of? - Not being able to do enough. He sees what happened because of his father, his family.. his mother’s family. Sam feels (like all the kids do in some way) responsible for fixing the mess that the Seeds created in Hope County.

BACKGROUND

Where were they born? What was their childhood like? - He was born with his sister Lilith at the birthing center in Hope County (but both he and Lily were sent to a much bigger hospital shortly after they were born because the small hospital couldn’t handle them being 8 weeks early). Their childhood before the collapse was filled with pockets of really happy times mixed with stretches of chaos. Both he and Lily vividly remember The Project at Eden’s Gate and the events of the Reaping. Both he and Lily were present for the attempted arrest of Joseph. After the collapse it was still difficult in the bunker as both his parents struggled with believed loss of Jacob, Ellie and worst of all Grace. Once they left the bunker things settled into a new normal. He is very close with Lily and Rose, as well as his Uncle Mac. He is close with both of his parents but is resentful on some level of their preoccupation with losing Grace.

What’s their family like? - A hot mess... but the core they are very tight knit. Sam is more ready to trust a member of his immediate family than anyone else.

What factions or organizations are they a part of? What ranks and titles do they hold? - He and Lily were called “The First of the Children of New Eden” within the Project as small children and as an adult he holds the role of the “doctor” in the community John calls “Redemption” but really Sam is main intelligence gatherer as people are very disarmed by him because of his ability to help the sick.

How do they fit into their “story”? - Sam is Ethan’s foil for lack of a better way of putting. Ethan is grasping for power, while Sam wants nothing do with holding an position at all within New Eden. He has no desire to fulfill any of the role that The Father saw him. He is easily the one most suited to lead, but has no desire what so ever to lead anyone or be any manner of spiritual leader to people.

Where do they currently live? What’s their place like?

How do they eventually die? - He dies of a sudden heart attack while speaking to a group of people gathered in New Eden (preaching basically) at the age of 36. He dies before both his parents and all three of his sisters.

RELATIONSHIPS

Do they have any friends? Would they consider anyone to be their best friend? - His best friend is easily Lily, because they are twins. Their relationship is just on a different level than other peoples. They understand each other often with just glances and small changes in expression. He also becomes close with Finn, both sharing a bit of a sarcastic and witty sense of humor.

What’s their friend group like? What role do they play in it?

What’s their love life like? (See also: ship question meme.) Do they have any kids? - Well.. not really. He spends most of his time with his sisters during the story and I never really thought of him in romantic terms...at all. I could see him having kids one day, either “adopting” or by natural means... either or.

Who do they look up to? Who do they trust? - Really the person Sam looks up to the most is Mac. He respects Mac’s ability to pragmatic about difficult choices and always put the others before his own benefit. Mac had a big hand in raising Sam, so this really comes as no surprise. As far as people he trusts, he trusts his family... his sisters (including Grace), his uncles, Rachel/Faith, Ellie,... pretty much everyone but Joseph and Ethan that share DNA with him.

Who do they hate? Do they have any enemies? - Joseph, mostly because he puts the full blame on what happened with the collapse and the events the happened in his life right before squarely on Joseph’s shoulders. This by proxy extends to Ethan...

Do they have any pets? - As a child he had several, Boomer and Salem even made it to the bunker with them (thank you Sean and Faith) but since then he never really kept bets.

Are they good with kids? Animals? - Yes to both.

FUN FACTS

Which tropes do they fit? Which archetypes? - The Dutiful Son , Looks Like Jesus/Hippie Jesus (that one goes without saying right?), The Spymaster & Big Brother Instinct

Do they play any instruments? Sports? - He plays Piano and he was never much for sports.

What are some items they always carry?- A knife, a small black notebook and a pen.

Do they collect anything? - Books.

What position do they sleep in? - On his stomach mostly with the pillow over his head rather than under his head.

Which emoji would they use the most? - The eyes emoji

What languages do they speak? - English

What’s their favorite expletive? - Fuck

What’s their favorite candle scent? - Probably like Pine...

What songs remind you of them? - Loosing My Religion - R.E.M

Which animal would you say represents them? - The Raven

What stereotypical high school clique would they fit into? - The Weird kids that don’t fit in with any other group who is kinda metal head looking but gets straight A’s.

What would their favorite ride at an amusement park be? - Bumper Cars (he actually gets to go once as a child)

Do they believe in aliens? Ghosts? Reincarnation or something else? - For someone who grew up in such a superstitious home, if Sam doesn’t have evidence for it... he doesn’t believe.

Do they follow any religions/gods? Do they celebrate holidays? - Again, for someone who grew up in such an intensely religious home, he lost all connection to PEG or even conventional Christian beliefs by the time he is an adult he declares he is in Atheist. He does preach about keeping a very personal set of morals that you should adhere to but, not the belief there is an all knowing deity.

Which Deadly Sin do they most correspond to? Which Heavenly Virtue? - Pride

If you had to choose one tarot card to represent them, which would it be? - The Hierphant

#OC Asks #Samuel Seed #fcnd ocs #this thing was a beast btw

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secret-engima · 5 years ago

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(Stares into space) why is your Cyra oc so hilarious oh my god. (Throws cookies at you) she is amazing and I love her already. Tiny!Badass!Cyra! For The Win. Kicking Ass and Taking Names since BORN. FluFF?? PLEASE??? FRIENDSHIP WITH THE GLAVIES! THEM SPENDING TIME WITH CYRA AND BEING SO /SAPPY/ AND FAMILY AND UGGHHH—I love the glavies. They're GREAT. Protective Squad Over Tiny Gurl that Kicks Their Ass and Takes Kneecaps with ZERO MERCY.

*laughs* glad you like her! Hmmmm lemme see what I can scrounge for fluff:

-First time Tredd, Luche, and Axis met Cyra, Tredd tried to tease her for being short and made a crass comment about her and Libertus’s “activities”. Out of courtesy for his dubious status as Lib’s friend Cyra gave him once chance to apologize and never say that again. He was dumb enough to say “what are you gonna short stack? Take out my kneecaps?” Seconds later, screeching in pain on the floor from Cyra doing JUST THAT and Luche was looking at her in something akin to awe while Axis was silently laughing himself sick over Tredd’s plight.

-Surprisingly, Tredd is now one of her biggest defenders. Once he got over the pain of being nailed in the kneecaps by a cane made out of high-quality metal, he decided he LIKED Lib’s spitfire wife and that if anyone wanted to risk the wrath of her cane they’d have to go through him first. He can often be found hanging out in her bookshop on his days off now instead of the bars, making faces at her tea and trying to steal the cookies while keeping order with the other customers. He’s like her unofficial, self-employed bouncer.

-Axis and Cyra bond over kiddos, but then one day Axis brings Porrima to come meet the bookshop owner everyone’s been talking about and its a match made in terror. They get along VERY well. Scary well. All hail the disabled ladies yo.

-Cyra actually likes Luche’s company? Like- once she’s smacked a bit of the cynicism and arrogance out of him he’s one of the few people with a Braincell and she appreciates that. Luche likes to slink in and read in her shop for hours with a cup of tea and NO LOUD NOISES. It’s the one place where Tredd won’t bug him even if they’re in the same room and Luche appreciates this.

-After the initial shock of Lib marrying so impulsively wears off and Cyra has begun to cement her place in their lives, the glaives decide to through a proper Galahdian Wedding Feast for the two. Nyx helps Lib pick out wedding beads and Tredd forcibly inserts himself in the kitchen because he’s a surprisingly good cook if you don't mind enough spice to set your mouth on fire, and the rest of Little Galahd is always down for a party so they clean up the center square and hang paper lanterns and decorations and stuff even though the actual party is going to take place at Yamachang’s with Cyra and Lib and Lib’s closest friends.

-Libertus bridal carries Cyra down all those freaking stairs to Yamachang’s place because no way is he making his wife suffer. When she starts to get crabby over being “treated as helpless” Lib retorts that he has his man pride to care for, let him stoke it just a teeny bit okay? and Cyra rolls her eyes and lets it slide.

-Cyra is ... honestly surprised by the party? Like- all of Little Galahd is partying on their behalf even if its only the core Glaive group there at Yamachang’s to toast the wedding and make the traditional wedding bets on who does what in the relationship. Cyra doesn’t mind, it’s actually a nice gesture but .... most of these people are still strangers/semi-strangers to her why they celebrate?

-Lib explains that it’s tradition for everyone to celebrate a wedding and that Little Galahd needed an excuse to be happy. Cyra lets it go and rolls with everything.

-Until Tredd picks her up and tries to run away with her yelling “Bride Steal! She’s not wearing beads I get to Bride Steal!”

-Tredd does NOT get to bride steal thank you and since Tredd was smart enough to wait until she let go of her cane to snatch her up, she instead grabs his braids and begins calmly (read: painfully) steering him back to the table. Tredd is a wimp when it comes to his braids, so he apologizes and curses the whole way back to an unimpressed Libertus, who takes his wife, sets her down, and then punches Tredd in the face.

-Cyra watches from the safety of her chair as a mini brawl spawns right there and senses that this is a habit for Galahdian Wedding Feasts.

-She could get to like these idiots.

-Moving on to more OVERTLY fluffy things- the Glaives take turns working at her shop for free. They don’t let her know what they’re doing, they just make pills of themselves until she crabbily gives them something to do. Tredd often gets banished to stocking the heavy books on shelves, Luche somehow ends up being the backup accountant, Pelna is the only one she trusts around her tea blends, and Nyx cheerfully takes on the role as the flirty-hot cashier. She thinks she’s punishing them, but actually this has been the plan since they realized just how much running her own shop can hurt her.

-One time she had a terrible Bad Day, but she had been advertising a sale/charity thing (books were discounted and for every purchase fifty percent of the total amount would go to Little Galahd’s refugee fund or something like that) for that day and so she COULDN’T close the shop. So she dragged herself down hours later than usual, limping and aching and dreading every second of angry customers who wanted to know why she hadn’t opened yet-.

-Only to find the shop already open and humming with pleasant activity. Nyx was at the register, flirting his way into getting the two ladies at the counter to buy cups of tea to go with their books, Tredd was helping carry the TOWER of books a little old grandfather was looking to purchase, Axis was quietly helping a few kiddos pick out books they wanted and Luche, Pelna, Libertus, and Crowe were all bustling around serving tea and pastries and in general keeping the peace.

-Libertus spotted his wife gaping at the foot of the stares and immediately whisked her to a comfy chair where she could watch the chaos, scolding her for being out of bed the entire time and that “they had it handled so just relax”.

-Cyra buried her face in Lib’s shoulder to hide the fact that she wanted to CRY.

-How were all these idiots in her life so NICE?????

-The sale was a hit and the glaives were all glowing with pride at how much they made and then refused to let Cyra pay them for their work because “Hey, half of it is going to our home anyway right? That counts as pay! Besides, we were helping out a friend, AND Lib’s wife.” and then Cyra really did cry while calling them idiots. By this point they know that “idiot” is just her nickname for them and that really she was grateful and so they all just laughed as they shuffled out to let her and Lib go back upstairs to relax.

-On a final note, Cyra will never again run out of baby sitters for Prompto on days when she can’t take care of him herself. If the Glaives can’t do it, their sisters or spouses will and by the time Prompto’s like- 15 and doesn’t NEED a babysitter anymore all of Little Galahd knows Cyra and is willing to Throw Hands for her anyway.

#SE asks #oliverslewty asks #Seer LC verse #Secret Engima Rambles

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beerecordings · 5 years ago

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How do we recognize ableist content like that? I've never been in situations like that, so something that look pretty harmless to me could be in fact quite shitty. I don't want to share stuff like that and be unaware of it, how do I learn?

well thank you for asking!!! but the first thing I’d like to do is make it clear that while I do trust myself to recognize many common ableist errors/choices, I do not pretend to be an authority on this issue any more than anyone else who’s done some research, talked with other people, and worked to recognize things. I need help sometimes too! Also I’d like to reiterate that I am able-bodied and people with disabilities are free to correct me.

The second thing to notice is that SOMETIMES these things are context-dependent. For instance, while I usually gag to see Jameson made into like the son of somebody the same age as him, if you’re actually writing an au where Jameson and maybe another character or two are actually children to another character, that can be pretty cute!!! In that case an adult is not being infantilized and he is not made into a child because of his disability - he’s being made into a child because he’s a literal four-year-old and that’s the premise of the story (and he still can’t talk). Alternatively, maybe Jameson needs extra attention and love and protection from older brothers after a traumatic event - but at some point, that Jameson should begin to regain his independence, should still experience a wide range of emotions, and should not be condescended to about his emotions or ability to function alone. However, please be careful with this… don’t use context to make excuses if you’re actually pulling ableist shit.

I think that list I gave in the post I made is a good (but not comprehensive!) starting point for some of the things to look for that are offensive to people with disabilities (some of these are specific to mutism). Let’s take another deeper look at these points:

Before reblogging something with Jameson in it, for instance, ask yourself - does this infantilize the character?

Is Jameson unable to function alone in society beyond the reasonable limitations we would expect of a person with a disability? Is Jameson babied to a ridiculous degree by the other egos? Does Jameson only experience basic emotions? Does Jameson ever stand up for himself or display “unpleasant” and unromanticized emotions such as anger, desire to isolate, desire for violence, ugly grief and sorrow, etc? Disabled adults are still ADULTS. Don’t treat them like little kids!!! If you want to portray Jameson’s trauma reactions - and you should!! he’s been through a lot!! - make sure this is more complex than just reducing him to a sweet needy baby who needs a hand to hold twenty-four seven. He should have ugly reactions too and be more complex than sad sometimes because he’s disabled and needs more attention. Otherwise you are infantilizing his mutism and romanticizing his trauma.

Does this erase Jameson’s disability completely or partially?

I have had people tell me it’s okay to erase Jameson’s disability because “they just wanted him to have a cute British accent.” I have had people to tell me to “chill out” because it “isn’t a big deal” that people erase his disability. I’ve heard people say “I couldn’t really get into Jameson for some reason, he just wasn’t my favorite character - so I decided to make him my own and give him new powers and let him talk and now I like him a lot!”

FUCK OFF M8

DON’T WRITE HIM IF YOU AREN’T WILLING TO INCORPORATE HIS DISABILITY AND YOU HATE DISABLED CHARACTERS. WHY ARE SOME OF U LIKE THIS. HOW DARE YOU qUITE FRANKLY

DO NOT SUPPORT CONTENT WITH A SPEAKING JAMESON UNLESS ANTI IS ABOUT TO SHOW UP AND CUT THAT BOY’S THROAT OR MAYBE IT’S AN AU WHERE SOMEBODY ELSE HAS THE DISABILITY BUT I’M NOT A HUNDRED PERCENT SURE ABOUT THAT ONE -

When you erase Jameson’s disability, you are telling every disabled person who might come across your writing that there is something wrong with being disabled and that they need to be fixed, as well as warping your own perception of the disabled people you will meet in your life. Do not use magic spells to erase Jameson’s inability to vocalize. Do not just decide you prefer a vocalizing Jamie.

Is this a respectful and accurate representation of a character who cannot vocalize?

If you are not disabled, you probably should not write pieces deeply exploring his relationship with his disability, because you just can’t do it right. I’m tired of seeing people write like ten thousand words of whump about how sad Jamie is about being disabled and how he longs desperately to just be normal like everyone else!! If only he didn’t have to sign!!! And he never seems to make any progress at accepting himself, he never seems to have any righteous anger at the people who treat him like shit, he always seems to let himself be comforted by other people telling him how to perceive himself instead of coming to terms with it with the help of both others and his own internal development. Incorporate his disability, and yes, it’s okay if it upsets him that other people react poorly to his inability to vocalize sometimes, but avoid stories which focus on him dealing with his disability exclusively if you are not disabled. If his disability is the only thing that ever makes him sad or makes him experience a negative emotion, you have fucked up again and you are using his disability for whump points like an asshole instead of seeing him holistically. I get upset sometimes because I see people will get prompts about JJ and it will be like… “job interview!” so they write one where Jameson gets turned down for a job because of a disability or it will be like “mourn!” and it’s about how he mourns his lost voice and “spell!” is about Marvin trying to fix him and just….. I guess it’s okay to write that stuff every now and then, but it’s a BIG RED FLAG if someone takes every single prompt or thought about JJ and makes it about him being sad about his disability.

Is this a respectful and accurate representation of sign language?

Please be aware that Jameson speaks BSL, not ASL! I think most people mess that one up just because they don’t know, not because they’re ableist, so it’s great to spread awareness! If you are writing something about Jamie, though, you really should know. You should also try to learn a little about the way people sign and just do some research! Also, when writing Jameson, be aware of the signing. If he is in another room than Jackie, then remember that Jackie can’t “hear” him. You just forgot he couldn’t talk! Double-check your work or ask someone to beta and this one is avoided easily. Be open to someone pointing out “actually, Jameson couldn’t do that, he was downstairs!” and work to accommodate him.

If I were unable to vocalize, would I be offended by this representation?

Many of us have disabilities of our own. Think about the things that bother you and how they apply to mutism or even other disabilities like Chase’s depression. One thing that always helps me (though I am not in a wheelchair!) is comparing this to people in wheelchairs. Would it be okay for me to write a fic where a person had their legs magically fixed after a lifetime of not being able to walk and then everybody liked them better and they finally found purpose? Would it be okay for me to write ten snippets in a row about how sad they are they can’t walk? Would it be okay for me to just decide they can walk now because I’m annoyed when I have to write in their wheelchair? Is it okay for me to say that they can’t wheel themselves around or that they use magic to move at all times and would not be able to move at all if someone were not pushing them or they lost their magic? Is it okay for everyone to treat the person like a helpless baby because they can’t walk? Honestly, I think we know more than we think if we take a moment to critically examine. Trust your gut.

Does this contain common problems in portrayal of characters with disabilities/mutism such as derision or lamentation towards sign language, making the character defined entirely by their disability (always a cheerful character except when reminded of their disability, for example), having other characters explain things about their disability to them, or treating the character as childish, needy, and unable to function in society because of their disability?

Pretty self-explanatory, but well worth repeating.

Do not show derision towards sign language (though a villain might, if it was clear that they are the villain and doing something wrong!). We have already discussed the complexities of lamentation and I suggest that you avoid that as well, especially if you are going to make his character flat. If you are not disabled, you really can’t portray it well, and it’s ableist to focus so much on the disability that you do not give the character any other complexity. Do not make the disability the “tragic backstory” of the character’s life. Complexity is important because it means you are seeing the person as more than their disability! You should know things about the character other than “they are happy and sweet and sugary and never get angry or make mistakes!! except sometimes… they are sad because they can’t talk uwuw poor baby” you look that shit in the eyes and you tell it to fuck off, you hear me? It’s great to have a sweet, nice, sugary baby brother Jameson as long as he is more complex than that, with real independence and abilities of his own and complex emotions and character! His disability should not be his one weak spot or his tragic backstory or some shit!

ALSO DO NOT DO NOT DO NOT REFER TO JAMESON AS “THE MUTE.”

like dude even “the mute man” is pretty fucking shifty because why do you feel the need to define him by that??? but definitely not “the mute moved down the hallway” i will block you on sight and you will deserve it that is SO offensive would you call a person who can’t walk “the cripple???”

Don’t have a speaking character explain things about disabilities to characters with disabilities. Speaking characters should not be condescending towards the character about much of anything, really, or else you’re infantilizing - if you need someone to explain things, obviously that’s okay, but do it in a way that recognizes that this is a mature and independent adult.

The character with a disability should be able to function in society past the limitations that are to be expected. No, Jameson isn’t going to magically start talking, but if he wants to go on a walk alone, he can. Let him do things like writing or texting. Don’t be afraid to give him a cool job and awesome hobbies. Let him have independence. If you can’t imagine JJ living on his own because he can’t speak, you’re doing it wrong. Look for signs that Jameson is capable of things other than making tea and kissing his brothers good night.

It’s okay to have a Jameson with a slightly childish personality, and I love it when he’s a sweet boy! But there should be more to him than that. I’m just going to say it - you know when Jameson is being treated like a baby. You know the difference between infantilization and a nice friendly man with sweet cute hobbies and interests. You can see it. Trust yourself. Don’t buy it when you see it and if you’re writing him, make sure there is complexity instead of just sugar-sweet with a sugar-sweet filling. He’s an adult. Remember that and remember that it’s harmful to pretend otherwise.

Geez, that was a rant and a half. Again, I am not the perfect authority. But there are some tips.

Does that help at all?

Feel free to add on to that if you have seen specific things in the fandom that I might not have seen or you have a disability and have experience with being discriminated against.

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