#i was sleeping is such a shitty excuse
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daisukekambehateaccount · 4 months ago
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negativity ahead be cautious
is feeling indescribably shitty every single day even more so than normal for the past three months seasonal depression even if there are only 2 seasons in your country
#repressed anger is a b#i think i am gonna reach my limit for this half of the year very soon#anger management issues + avoidant attachment style is like the most bad person thing ever#i mean if you have those you're not a bad person don't listen to me#i am so tired#my eczema and gastrointestinal issues are flaring up like crazy#which means my anxiety is getting worse and worse because it's the only reason i have so many physical health issues in the first place#senior year is effing me up#and i have the shittiest most anger-inducing history teacher known to man replacing my old history teacher#who wants us to do group presentations to cover the entire fucking rest of the syllabus that my old teacher didn't cover#because this fossil is so lazy to teach that everytime she enters the class it's a 50/50 chance that she gives a “back in my days” lecture#for either half the class or the entire class#i genuinely cannot even tolerate my parents anymore#it was easier to suck it up back when i didn't have many issues#but now i genuinely can't hold myself back from snapping at them#now the least hostile route i can go is feigning ignorance#ignoring them and trying not to appear in their line of sight#or staying in my room for as long as possible so I don't have to make contact with them#okay maybe it is my fault that my stomach literally eats itself every day#but if it helps me not unalive myself then i gotta do what i gotta do if ya know what i mean#can't i just sleep for the entire year#i bet my friends hate me for not replying to their texts for weeks#i was sleeping is such a shitty excuse#but i do sleep 16 hours a day#i genuinely can't do anything so i avoid everything by sleeping#the sound of my mom's voice amplified by the small space in the car actually triggers me#i hate it so fucking much when people sexualise arlecchino#she is not someone low scum like you can touch#and i think I've just been sucking up other people's negativity like a negativity vacuum#because my empathetic ass can't stand to see someone suffering without feeling their emotions
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ping-ski · 2 months ago
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highly recommend reading "Dial-Tone Demon" by @sinisternoodles101 and @keplitz
i love the rotary au designs i HAD to stay up and draw em' sorrh its messy im gonna slep now 👍
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anew-flame · 4 months ago
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This is totally canon to me
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niuxita21 · 2 months ago
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No one:
Absolutely no one:
Meiji: Why would I sit on a chair/the couch when my girlfriend's lap is literally RIGHT THERE
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kabukeo · 5 months ago
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0505 doodle before i sleep
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aizawaondrugs · 11 months ago
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@rayshippouuchiha : posts something I have absolutely no idea about in a fandom I've never been part of
Me, absolutely not specifically seven crows in a disguise, still finding it relatable/shiny:
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Also here's my cat holding still for a picture after I told her it was for Ray (betrayal lol she never does that for anyone else):
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momentomori24 · 1 month ago
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Another Dead Plate AU sketch! Just practicing Shin's uniform again. Since I couldn't make up my mind on a single design, I'm just going to go off the idea that Hiyori just makes him wear a different uniform every day because he's demanding like that. That's one way to step around an issue!
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great-tusk · 2 months ago
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Ugh. I had a really bad day.
#chat sesh with iris#vent in the tags#had to get a super personal reminder of someone who I used to know who left me YEARS AGO but it still upsets me to hear her name and I#literally saw HER MOM who proceeded to talk a bunch about what she’s been doing#tw suicide mention#tw suicidal ideation#in the tags lol#so warning that it’s in the next tag#like I think about killing myself whenever I have a passing thought about her so this was too much#I’m not going to do it I’m physically safe 👍👍👍 but like#even despite all of the shitty things that happened I was still having a pretty good week because like. people have been really nice to me.#and I’ve been having a little fun#but this is way too far to excuse like practically no matter what else happened or happens 😭😭😭#like hearing how much better her life is than mine#I literally had to physically leave the situation#like she had finally after YEARS(!!!) gotten mostly off of my mind#but not anymore#the heaviest sigh ever#anyway I would apologize for venting but like this is my blog 👍👍👍#I don’t really have anywhere else to talk about it#like even the people who I consider my best friends did not care or respond or ask questions when I mentioned that I was having like a-#breakdown in public#other than one#shoutouts#and I’m probably going to sleep really soon so maybe I’ll wake up and think this is too personal and delete it#like if I’m only posting because of how tired I was#or who knows maybe my thoughts will keep me awake for hours#I still have nightmares about her#BLUE AND DAWN AND HOP AND ARVEN AND GREEN SAVE ME!!!!!
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partydummyy · 9 months ago
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Some doodles I have been drawing due to the lack of creativity
Probably gonna delete this at some point
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thnksfrthmmrs · 8 months ago
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#i do not want to work tomorrow i want to lay in bed and be sad#i’m really realizing how miserable of a person i am i am always fucking Sad and when i do feel happy i cry when it’s over#and i can’t even resemble a human being without medication and i know that’s fine but i’m still always sad. it doesn’t go away#i feel like nobody deserves to have me weighing them down like i’ve cried in front of people three times this week and i know it’s fine#but i feel so fucking guilty about it and i feel guilty about everything i feel like i’m doing nothing right and i’m not dealing with thing#right and i’m not living right and i feel like it must be so fucking difficult to love me and i don’t know how people do it#i don’t even feel capable of asking for. any sort of love ever#i feel like i don’t deserve like anything. i feel like nobody actually wants to do things for me lol#every single dsy i’m like wow i want to be held and every single dsy i feel bad even asking for a hug from someone#when i need reassurance i’m afraid to ask because what if i’m just being annoying and overbearing and too much Bad#i never feel like too much good. only bad.#i know a lot of these shitty thoughts are just because i’ve been unmedicated (meds will be ready tomorrow lol) but it just like#it sucks to know medication just kinda hides these thoughts better and that deep down i feel like this because i don’t want to#i feel like everyone in my life doesn’t deserve someone who doubts everything all the time#i think my mother deserved a stronger daughter and i think my friends deserve someone that’s not always breaking and i just don’t feel Good#i don’t know why anyone keeps me around#sometimes i feel selfish for sticking around and that sounds so awful and i’m not gonna act on it but i just feel like a waste of a person#the last week has been so good and now i’m just a fucking mess and i feel so fucking guilty about that :)#i feel like no matter what i always just default to miserable#i don’t feel like i’m doing enough at all#i’m struggling in school i don’t work enough i can barely take care of myself#like i wouldn’t even properly take care of myself if taylor wasn’t helping me i feel so guilty about that all the time#i feel so guilty for even thinking any of this right now and i’m trying to remind myself that i’m unmedicated and i’ve had a long day#and my best fucking friend just went back home and i’m allowed to be sad about that but i just. feel like i’m making excuses i guess#it’s not immoral to be sad but maybe when i’m wanting to die all the time i’m the problem. idk#anyway i’m gonna go to sleep and i’m gonna try to convince myself tomorrow will be better#sndnsksjkakejdkalwosjhdkwosjdjsk. i will be fine
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yunogf · 1 year ago
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chaos-coming · 2 years ago
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And now for my weekly sunday complaint post about how much i hate hate hate christianity
(The church bells woke me up way too early, again)
Good morning, happy lack of sleep and high blood pressure, the christians are rhythmlessly banging metal for three!! entire!! minutes!! They have to make sure you cant go back to sleep because its their God Time.
And since they need to insert themselves into every facet and moment of your life, you are also having Their God Time now. Fuck you nobody gets to sleep on sunday this is europe, conform or be destroyed.
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safyresky · 2 years ago
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okay i lied last one
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anyone else have "Fino says the CS equivalent of 'you can't have shit in detroit' meme" on their CS version 3.7.2 bingo card???
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iamfuckingsorry · 6 months ago
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what are you sorry for
I was very sorry for just about everything back when I made this blog in like 2013
#i've talked about this at some point but it took me like a full month to come up with my tumblr url#and then one afternoon i was sitting in french class and i wasn't having a very good day#and i was trying my best to look like i was normal and doing just fine (though i did probably cry a little bit lets be honest)#but the only thing going through my mind was.#“im so sorry for what a failure i am. so sorry for everyone who has to meet me and deal with me.”#“sorry for my parents who got such a shitty worthless kid. im so sorry so sorry so sorry for being alive”#just like on repeat. for the entire class. i was just sitting there blinking aggressively not being able to think of anything else#and i was like. yeah. that's the essence of who i am as a person. i am sorry. i am a sorry excuse for a human and i fuck everything up#it'll be a good tumblr url.#needless to say my entire adulthood's been a breeze compared to that shit lol. so there's good sides to it too i guess#like it hasn't always been good or easy. but no matter how bad stuff goes i can always look at how i was doing at 13#and go#“you're nearly 30 and you're still alive. you have a job that pays your rent. you don't cry yourself to sleep on most nights.”#“your 13-year-old self would be so fucking impressed. i'm pretty sure she'd think you were making shit up if you tried to tell her.”#“you're doing better than you could ever have hoped for my friend. keep it up.”#herr's personal tag#noelleaxolotl#ask
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thatone-churro · 8 months ago
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me: finally having the balls to talk to this girl i like in my dream and be literally this 🤏 close to asking her out
my dorm’s fire alarm: i think the fuck not
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churipu · 10 months ago
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YOU SLEEPING ON A COUCH AFTER AN ARGUMENT 𓆝 ⋆。𖦹°‧
featuring. gojo satoru, geto suguru, toji fushiguro x reader
note. i hv so many ideas right now apart from what i'm actually supposed to be focusing on, so...pls excuse me.
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GOJO SATORU. arguments with gojo are a pain in the ass, he's petty and everything will be a mess. he's so stubborn that it actually baffles you sometimes — and he calls you rock head?
being a sorcerer is never an easy job. gojo wakes up every day, not knowing whether he'd die in a mission or get to live another day. so when you brought up your concerns about it to him, the male didn't take it lightly. things have been tight for him, and you're walking on eggshells for the past few days.
the slightest thing angered him, like how his sleeve got stuck on the door handle, or the way he curses out loudly when he stubs his toe on the coffee table. it puts him in a shitty mood, so when that happens, and you try to talk to him about his job.
gojo gets very pissy about it.
frankly, you understood where his anger comes from. and it was part of your fault to bother him the moment he came back from work exhausted, it was bound to happen so you weren't really blaming him at all from the projecting of his anger to you the night before — he didn't say hurtful things, gojo knew better than that. all he did was tell you to leave him alone and get out of his sight for the night.
and you did. sleeping alone on the couch, all sprawled out, an arm dangling on the edge; while a string of drool dribbled down the corner of your lips.
you seemed to not mind having to sleep on the couch (under your own want). but your boyfriend did, the moment he knew your bed time strikes — he came out of the room and eyed your sleeping form. guilt washing over him when all you did was care about his being and how dangerous the jujutsu world is.
gojo approaches you and gently carried you in his arms, an arm right under your bottom and his other arm around your waist. hoisting you up like a baby as your cheek leaned onto his shoulder, letting the drool blotch his shirt. he doesn't care at all.
the male tucks you in the bed, pulling the covers over you before slipping next to you, chest pressed to your back and an arm resting on your hip. gojo will never let you sleep a whole night on the couch, he will bring you to sleep with him and apologize the very next day for being such an ass.
he also, tried to make it up to you by cooking a classic english breakfast. which ended up in chaos — and you both decided to order take out instead.
GETO SUGURU. geto is usually calm and collected; he doesn't really get angry at anything. even if he does, he mostly keeps it to himself unless it really bothers him. but since humans have certain capacities to their own emotion — geto is not spared from being angry, no matter how calm he is.
after the death of amanai, you could feel him change. your geto. it was traumatizing for him, and you understood. always being there for him, never leaving him alone. the dark circles under his eyes were apparent, and it looked like he hasn't had a good night sleep for what seemed like . . . weeks, or months, if that's even possible.
geto appreciated your company, really. but sometimes, he also wanted to be left alone to dwell on his feelings. he didn't want to end up saying hurtful things to you because he was so angry at himself. but he did, and god was it horrible.
he was already feeling like shit before the argument— which if you see, wasn't really an argument at all. it was one-sided, geto was telling you off and you didn't say anything back. because you knew he didn't mean it. he almost desperately begged for you to leave him alone because your presence was "annoying" him and he couldn't stand it.
although geto said it in a heap of moment. he didn't mean it, and before he could say anything else, you tell him that you were going to be sleeping on the couch, so if he needed anything he was free to come to you.
geto didn't stop you. he was busy hating on himself for telling you that — and believe me when i say that he, right there, almost cried out of frustration.
he tossed and turned on his bed. where you were usually on too, beside him, holding his hand whilst he sleep. your hushed voice lulling him into a peaceful slumber; but you weren't there today, all because he told you to leave him alone. geto sat up, his eyelids heavy, but no matter how long he shut is, they always open back up.
with slow and heavy steps, he approaches you on the couch. and geto had always knew that you were a light sleeper, so his footsteps awoken you. seeing your eyes flutter open, geto slid on the couch, laying himself on top of you — head on your chest, arms clutching onto your shirt like he's desperate for your presence, and his legs intertwining with yours.
getos' hushed apologies were heard as he leaned into your warmth, and you told him that you were never angry. brushing his hair, massaging his scalp using your fingertips before lulling him to sleep, and geto did. almost immediately. and so did you.
he could never sleep without you. whether it being on the bed, the couch, or anywhere else — as long has you were with him, he will find the ability to drift off.
TOJI FUSHIGURO. is an ass. let's face it — he wouldn't give a fuck if you decided to sleep on the couch after an argument, at least for the first couple of hours. toji is a blunt man, and he's a sole believer that nobody could bear sleeping on the couch when there's a bed in the house.
but you were there to prove him wrong.
after an argument going south, he finds you grabbing your pillow and then seeking shelter on the couch. and he clicked his tongue in annoyance, knowing you'd come crawling back on the mattress after a few hours — because who'd choose the couch over the bed?
you. apparently.
he slept without a single care, thinking of words to say when you finally decided to come back on the bed. but when he woke up at three am, his arm searching to find your body, but realizing all he was catching was air — he finally realized that you weren't coming back onto the bed.
and it annoyed him. he was angry that you weren't there. and at three am? he was already wide awake, walking out of the room angrily. but his gaze softened when he saw you asleep, the constant flashing light from the television panning on your body; toji walks over, snatches the remote and turns the device off.
letting out a soft sigh, toji squats down, flicking your forehead. and the action was enough to make you grimace lightly in your sleep — although not enough to wake you up completely. the male chuckled and prepped an arm under the hollow under your knees, and an arm across your shoulder.
with ease he brought you into your shared room and he laid you down on the bed, covering your body with the blanket before he slips into his own portion of the bed. scooting closer to you as you instinctively nuzzled into his chest, seeking for comfort.
toji wouldn't admit that he was the one who brought you into the bed and would end up saying how you came crawling back at three am. you always find out the truth though, and toji tells you to forget about whatever he did because he won't be doing it again (he will).
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© CHURIPU 2024 , DO NOT COPY OR REPOST ANYWHERE
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