#love having to buy a lawn mower because the downstairs neighbor used to do it but because he is moving out first it is now my problem
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#love having to buy a lawn mower because the downstairs neighbor used to do it but because he is moving out first it is now my problem#but I don’t have a lawn mower and now i have to use money I’m saving to move to buy a fucking lawn mower or else charges the landlord#I hate it I hate it I hate it#why whywhywhy#vent#i hate the state of living in this country and I hate that I have to basically find an entire month’s worth of work amount in money just to#move to a tiny ass thing that won’t even be mine#i hate that if I don’t have the knowledge of every single law/ ordinance of this tiny ass town memorized the landlord makes a angry face#the lack of money angers me#money in general angers me#WHY DOES THIS SHITTY GREEN PAPER DETERMINE MY LIFE#I CANT SLEEP#I CANT THINK#I AM FALLING APART AT THE SEAMS BUT I HAVE TO HOLD IT ALL TOGETHER MY SOURCE OF INCOME WILL TELL ME IM NOT DOING ENOUGH#THEN I HAVE TO DEFEND MYSELF WITHOUT DEFENDING MYSELF BECAUSE DEFENDING MYSELF IS AN EXCUSE AND I JUST HAVE TO GET CREATIVE#i wish i could step out of time and space and just exist alone for a little bit because being a human being is overwhelming#im so tired
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