#maybe they show up in your dreams
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delphiniumjoy · 7 months ago
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The aromantic version of the “am I gay?” quiz is reading articles about how to tell if you have a crush.
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themyscirah · 7 months ago
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Complaining abt Suicide Squad yet again but the fact that they have Waller exposing the alien community to space racist attacks and talking abt how she got to her position through deceit and being a terrible person and stuff is just. Ahsfiwueh JUST SAY YOU DONT KNOW WALLER.
Anyways literally the 3rd mission of the Squad ever (and the first framed as smth Waller picked and not orders from above) was the Squad discrediting and stopping a rogue vigilante who was only arresting POC and funneling white people into white supremacy groups (of which he was the most prominent member) in SUICIDE SQUAD #4. and it's explicitly framed as this mission being personal for Waller that she's hiding from the government bc its illegal like. Guys. Please why are we having her incite (space bc comics) racist attacks now
Also the whole "Amanda got her position through deceit and being a terrible person" NO. she KEPT her position through being shitty and playing complicated political games!!! She wasn't always that way like there is a difference and it is IMPORTANT ppl PLEASEEEE. In Secret Origins #14 we learn Amanda's backstory and she used to be a normal, caring person! Like even after she entered into working in government and politics she wasn't automatically morally bankrupt like please people. She was originally given control of the Squad by Reagan (*sigh* 80s comics...) to distract and get rid of her because she was so successful at pushing progressive social policy in Congress. Acting like she's this static pillar of evil is such a waste of her character and so fucking uninteresting and disrespectful to her arc it drives me MAD.
Like I am NOT saying Waller is all sunshine and rainbows, she fucking SUCKS (said w love <3) but like there's a human being there. It's a progression, she has a character arc like please, DC, please!!! They've fucked up Waller so bad and made her so opaque and uninteresting she can't even be the protagonist of her own story for fucks sake!
Like I don't know how many times I have to scream it until DC hears me or remembers but WALLER IS THE MAIN CHARACTER OF SUICIDE SQUAD. ITS HER BOOK. yet right now she's a cutout to be used as the villain wherever the writers please. Even in her book we get none of her perspective really displayed, no exploration of her thoughts with any kind of understanding of the role she traditionally has played and was made to play in the story.
#its like youre unable to root for her in any form. which is annoying bc shes actually awesome actually#also having her say “actually im the good guy fuck you'' w/o any actual deep analysis of her psyche or whatever while doing these things#doesnt count as development or showing shes 3 dimensional. its just having 2 dimensional waller say shes right when everyone is obviously#supposed to believe shes wrong#anyways i want real waller back please i miss herrrrrrrr#anyways hope mr john ridley has read secret origins no 14. i know its from 1987 but please guys please. my only hope#also it was a few months ago but i think they tried to push certain elements of a diff backstory in dream team and sorry but fuck that. and#any mention of another waller background like my eyes are closed sry. im a preboot truther#actually im just ignorant of most squad comics outside the original series. im gonna do a readthrough and become knowledgeable on other#stuff i just need to find time. so if im wrong then sorry if its smth factual and if you disagree with my opinion then uh sorry for ur loss#anyways shoutout to the time i had a nerd night w my one friend and she was asking me abt dc and said my favorite villains and i said waller#and silver swan. and she had a “yuck WHY” to waller and a ???? to silver swan. love shouting out my faves and explaining them to the less#informed. didnt say a number 3 but would probably be parallax ig. idk hes kind of slay. or maybe someone else honestly i like hal but waller#and nessie are blorbo level for me i could think abt them for hours#or maybe it wouldnt be parallax actually idk who my 3 would be. hes definitely up there but way below the other 2. maybe the cheetah#interpretation that i personally have. v different from the popular cheetah interpretation esp rucka vers actually. much closer to the pérez#and esp develops some subtext there surrounding barbara and the exploitation and theft of sacred cultural artifacts and pieces but also#like british colonization a lil bit#but i actually despise the cheetah that lives in my head but think shed be interesting to use narratively and see diana fight#vs the other guys who i find interesting and sympathetic and like for themselves#whereas my fave interpretation of cheetah can rot in hell#i got off topic here#blah#swishy rant#also disclaimer that w the main character ik dreamer is the main character of dream team. im talking more in general and that amanda should#always have a huge role as shes the main character of the squad and yet is treated like its villain and not its protag#sui sq
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epicqtefail · 2 months ago
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last night I had a dream that you were drawing Dan and Phil fanart for me and we were just chillin. you didn't have a face, it was like in cartoons when adults are too tall for the screen, but you were kind of bewildered as to why I wanted you to draw those gay rats instead of your usual gay rats. we were just as antagonistic there as we are here. just thought you should know you're a permanent fixture in my brain
👁️ 🧠 👁️
it wasn't a dream i still have the fanart.
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(i hope it doesnt look like i'm taking the piss out of their appearances (except for meme-ifying their eyes) i just cant draw people looking normal and i was laughing my ass off all throughout drawing this)
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maliciousalice · 3 months ago
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sunshine-in-a-bottle · 2 months ago
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Suds!! You are yet again like 90% of my art reblogs. 😭😭😭
Thanku for remembering my arts. 💙
HOW COULD I FORGET WHEN YOURE LITERALLY ONE OF THE BEST OUT THERE???? I'M ALWAYS EATING GOOD WHEN ITS YOU
Actually everyone who sees this post I provide you with a list of good tired art to reblog:
->Pretty boy skateboarder Punz
->Sparkly lovely XD??? Oh my god??
->Drunz is doing a little dance<3
->Being emotional about cFundy, as a treat
->Schlatt being a poor little baa-baa<3333
->Listen Punz deserves to give Dream flowers. shut up I'm normal
->Foosh. The Most Foosh. Look At Him. Give Him Hugs.
->yes I'm grabbing every drunz art. its not my fault its so well done. I have demons okay. theyre hugging.
->Dream getting cuddles from Steve The Polar Bear
->Philza and George bow designs !!!! Jesus christ these are so cool. how do I learn to make weapon designs.
->A Ranboo design that absolutely delights me. Different ties depending on if its Ran or Ender, aaaaaa
->hey guys did you know Punz is one of my favorite characters<-frothing at the mouth
->honestly weapon and armor designs are my weakness
->DRUNZ DRUNZ DRUNZ DRUNZ DRUNZ AAAAAAAAAAAAA
->Dream getting the comfort he deserves
->Punz covered in blood
->Catboy!Punz (no the dopamine hits I get every time I reblog Punz art are normal doctor)
->I am NORMAL about PUNZ shut UP (Valo design)
->Post-Prison Dream trying to cut his hair, HNRRRR-
->FUCK (more Catboy Punz)
->hnnnnnn Mob boss Dream with loyal right hand Punz???? augh
->FEM DREAM EVERYONE ITS A CODE GREEN, STAY CALM WAIT FUCK SHE'S FULLY COLORED IN THIS ONE. STAY FUCKING CALM-
->Drunz chained together. Very normal. I am normal.
->hnnnn why is Dream so pretty in this. I need Punz to kiss him.
->no you dont understand I'm studying how you drew Grians wings to see if I can learn how to draw them that good. christ I want to learn your power.
-> Technoblade comic featuring other people missing him. My heart hurts a lot looking at this.
->Valo Punz (instant dopamine hit)
->Tireds DTIYS Dream that I don't feel I could ever feasibly attempt just because its so fucking godly. But I Will Try Someday Soon. fucking hell.
->WAIT MUMBO WITH LONG HAIR???
->Lynx Punz (instant dopamine hit)
->Holy shit. Grian as a marble statue with wings spread. The level of ability on display here is spectacular????
->drunz are hugging (I am once again frothing at the mouth)
->Hnnnnnn tarot card Dream looking so pretty
->god, this fucks me up so hard. Punz is taking a picture of Dream, in absolute awe, but Punz's comic panel is the one thats shaped like a photo. As if they can capture their reaction but theyll never be able to capture Dream's joy, his beauty and light. (AND THEN YOU COLORED IT)
->Witches Dreamnap. Its so funny to me that Sapnap seems fully into it while Dream is right behind him looking Ready For Mischief
->hnnnnn baby Punzzzzz, BABY PUNZZZZZZZZZ AAAAAAAA (instant dopamine hit)
->literally all of your expression memes??? Dream covered in blood while Purpled is chill about it. Wet Cat Mumbo. The Foosh with hearts in his eyes. Shy pretty boy Dream with braided hair. TANGO. The fuckinnnn Foosh/XD kiss. SNF (my favorite underrated ship) and Grumbo. DREAMNAP YES. Drunz getting to be happy!!!
->Obligatory Etho Chilling In A Tree<33
->A Canary Loves His Coal Mine. FUCK (comic)
->Dreamnap kissing and more FooshXD. <-bites down on my phone, instantly destroying it
->Enderman Dream for cHybrid day<333
->pissboy Purpled<3 (says this with love and giggles)
->smalletho comic. Why does this feel so comfortable and nostalgic.
->the flowers trailing down.... who is this...
->bdubs and Dream, and interaction I've never thought of before but now want to see happen
->Drunz, hgnhhhhh
->Jimmy Solidarity worshipping Scar at the altar.
->I tried really, really hard to scroll past Sam, thinking I could be strong. I have my own demons to face.
->I really love when people do like, Different Eyes For Different Characters Posts. Its delightful
->god fucking damn. stop converting me to Ethoisms
->DREAMNOTNAP THIS IS NOT A DRILL
->Drunz with more Lynx Punz (instant dopamine hit)
->MORE DRUNZ WITH LYNX PUNZ (a second dopamine hit)
->SNAKE DREAM WITH LYNX PUNZ (stop stop I'm already dead)
->fuck. goddamit. Dream is leaning in to bite Punz's wrist. I need to throw myself directly into the lake.
->noooooo Snake Dream wrapping around Punz for warmth. My 37th weakness.
->Punz. (dopamine hit.)
->Drunznap. Objectively beautiful<333
->Valo Dream to go with the Valo Punz, HNNNNN THEY MUST ALWAYS BE TOGETHER
->hey you ever cry while gently caressing a cracking marble statue of your lover? Just normal Dream about Punz things :))))
->Hnnnn Punz expressions. Theyre so fucking !!!!! barkbarkbark
->Drunz DBH au. hahaha I can be normal (you witness me shatter a plate in my hands)
->punz in a dresss hnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn
->IM FEASTING, DRUNZ KISSING. BRAIN IS LIGHTING UP.
->s2 Dream design !!! He has a cane!!!!! As he should :oDDDD (WAIT THERES A SECOND VERSION)
->inhales. You Can Always Rely On Your Knight, Dream. He loves you so much.
->Punzzz (instant dopamine hit.)
->Dream in Punz's clothes!!!! (smashes my head against a concrete brick)
->Drunz DRUNZ Drunz Drunzzz dRuNz DRUNZZZZ (them<3)
->The Grian/Dream apocalypse, the ship we needed and so desperately deserved. I have been converted.
okay I have to stop. This list is getting too long. I have to be normal. (Foolish Valo Design)
Yes I went through Tired's art tag to grab these. Honestly I went through about 20 pages before I lost steam. And There's Still More. I'd go check out his art for the full list, I barely covered half of it- especially if youre into the Hermitcraft/Life series. Here's the tag, have fun scrolling <3
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naivety · 23 days ago
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really cannot overstate how powerful it is to be there for yourself the way you wish people would be there for you. that's not to say you don't deserve support from others too, but until you find those people in your life, sometimes what can get you through is giving that space and care for yourself in the meantime. taking moments just to tell yourself hey i know you're doing your best and that's enough for the world right now elsewise it wouldn't be, or hey maybe we did fuck up for real this time but i'm here for you and with you and we're gonna get through this, or i know we're alone right now but i like you and think you're pretty damn cool if i do say so myself, or i know things are hard and we don't have to force ourselves to pretend it's not but it's going to be okay, and even if it's not, that's okay too because i'm not gonna give up on you. we're in this together til death do us part baby
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seaofreverie · 1 month ago
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I knew about the post concert depression but no one told me about the post concert constant feeling of AAAAAAAAAHHH that lasts days and makes everything much more bearable and beautiful and some sort of ethereal type of hope is restored into the world, or maybe it's just the "seeing your favourite band after first thinking that it would never happen and later spending many months waiting for it all the while fearing that it wouldn't happen after all because of circumstances outside my control or feeling like it was too beautiful and wonderful to be true so ofc it wouldn't come true" part of it all
#guys i love they might be giants. did you know about this#me days before the show: crying because i will see they might be giants#me days after the show: crying because i saw they might be giants#truth is that i didn't actually full on cry until yesterday evening though so once i was back home so it was all officially over#and it was time to just slow down and realize that oh well wow. so all that just happened. like for realsies#i also finally looked through my videos and my recording of the whole show (yes as an archivist freak who records audio from most concerts#i obviously had to record this one also. now i can listen to it again and again and be remided that i didn't dream it all up after all)#but yeah all this and now i'm supposed to move on and go back to my stupid daily life#like i didn't just have one of those real actual life experiences and moments of pure fun that other people generally get from time to time#and that i haven't had since idk even when a year and a half ago#thats the last time i consider truly amazing on a level somewhat comparable to this. but back to the show and the whole thing.#like this wouldn't have been quite as perfect if i didn't share that time with fellow fans / friends that i ended up attending the show wit#you don't realize how badly you've been wanting to be included in things and for people to be genuinely fond of you and like your company#until you get included and shown that fondness. like wow i'm allowed to have fun too after all. can it happen again someday please. anyway#i'm just glad that in midst of my big bad awful times i could have this truly amazing 10/10 time#and i guess it doesn't have to be the last such time right. even if it's easy to give into the feeling that it is#but ok anyway i'll get to that proper show recap later when i can think clearly again#and maybe more on that more personal side of it all too because well i have many more thoughts obviously#but whether i get to that in 3 days or 3 months is a mystery for now. just kind of a lot to think about once again#and my stupid baka life continues on also whether i like it or not so that has to be taken into consideration as well#time to think again about school that i'm so totally fully failing now with my two weeks long absence yayyy. its fine i'll figure it all out#goosepost
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endiness · 2 months ago
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not to go off on this again but that people and articles are really trying to act like vesemir, a character who only appears in any kind of substantial capacity in two chapters out of an eight book series of which the show already adapted in s2 anyway, being recast is somehow more proof of what a failure the show is and how it's plagued with problems and scandals as if non-series regular actors are never recast due to scheduling conflicts, likE.
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robotsafari · 6 months ago
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a mind palace’s (unasked for) renovations [DO NOT TAG AS SHIP]
bonus under the cut:
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white mushroom more like “butlershroom.”
anyway. yep! my headcanon is that the mushroom series of heartless were essentially like early versions of ansem. experiments to see if creating a heartless with a will of its own were even possible. (the mushrooms just wanna play charades and go on nice walks! they wont steal your heart because their instincts tell em’ to! they’ll only snatch it if they feel like it <3) how can you make an “immortal” successor if they cant even understand the research you left for them? so thats why they were created!
#beep boop you want fries with that#kingdom hearts#re:kh#ansem#riku#ansem you cant slutspread infront of the children …#<- in his defense he wasn’t expecting riku to walk in#i feel like ansem craves attention but also wants to be left alone but also wants someone to talk to but also#he loves to ponder about his own existentialism but as soon as hes asked about it he changes the subject#hes been alone for so long and was never allowed to make friends with anyone that he doesn’t understand friendship#perhaps riku will be the one to show him#in short. yes ansem will be getting a redemption arc of sorts. but hes going to be really annoying about it.#his arrogance was his downfall and he loves being an annoying little shit <3#love youuuu 🥰🥰🥰#ansem infodumping but it’s about human experimentation and not a novel series from the hollow bastion library#is a thought thats really funny to me.#also if youre confused about ansem still being in rikus heart. in my rewrite he doesnt ‘die’ in kh2#the blast of light only causes ansem to go dormant until in my dream drop rewrite#‘something’ happens (im not telling) that causes him to reawaken and he attempts to take control again. which ends poorly for ansem#(riku defeats him again)#riku wont get rid of ansem. because he is tied to riku’s darkness. riku claims ansem is going to have to live with this. and that hes#already accepted this fact. ansem just needs to do the same.#so ansem begrudgingly resigns to his fate. but this isnt enough for riku. he wants to do something he never thought he would ever do#maybe his friends are rubbing off on him but. riku wants to see if maybe….. they could be friends? perhaps? this isnt going to work …#.. is it?#you’re grasping for straws here boy. give it up.
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tommygotwrittenoff · 5 months ago
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i need them to put eddie in a coma so he can have his own little coma dream realization
#like can you imagine#maybe he didnt reenlist#maybe hes got that perfect little romantic life he keeps thinking he had with shannon#maybe they stayed in el paso#or the three of them moved to la together when shannons mom got sick#and maybe eddie isnt a firefighter maybe he went into contracting or landscaping because he likes to work with his hands#or maybe he went into nursing because he likes helping people#but hes living a perfect little life with a son and wife and their white picket fence but he cant shake the feeling that something is wrong#he pulls aside for a firetruck on his way to work and something about it makes him feel funny like he misses something#and so he asks shannon when he gets home#hey did i ever apply to the fire academy#and she says no why would you have done that?? as she places a warmed frozen lasagna down on the diner table#he watches chris pick at his plate and swears that chris loved lasagna#and maybe hes out on his lunch break at the park and he hears a woman cry and run to find a man collapsed on the ground and shes panicking#so he tells her to call 911 and he starts compressions#the fire department shows up and hen and chim take his place and he fills them in before stepping back#youre good under pressure buck says from beside him#and eddie just kinda looks at him for a second because#he feels right#this feels right#being right here beside this man with a crooked grin on his face feels right#but eddie just shrugs and says well i was in the army kinda came with the territory#and then bobbys voice crackles through the radio buck i told you to stop flirting on calls get in the truck now#and buck returns an ay ay captain and winks at eddie before hopping in the firetruck#he watches engine 118 drive away and thinks he should be right next to buck in that truck#okay i got carried away but i need it#like there are so many possibilities for eddie coma dream and like#tim listen to me i need you to do think i need eddie to be put into a coma so he can realize that his life now is everything hes needed
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pensivespacepirate · 8 months ago
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AM I IN FUCKING ESKEW AGAIN
#tsv 36#liveblog#I KNEW SOMETHING WAS UP IT WAS SO TENDER IN THE BEGINNING BUT THE CHAPTER TITLE IS 'ALL LOVERS PART AS DUST' BUT WE GET A GLIMPSE OF HAPPY#MOMENTS IN THE TRAGIC SHOW YOU CAN'T HELP BUT SAVOUR IT. YOU GET HOPEFUL#you expect to see the other shoe drop but it didn't for so long so you maybe mayybe can try to settle into the comfort AND THAT'S WHEN IT#GETS YOU I CAN'T BELIEVE I'M BACK IN ESKEW#ESKEW PRODUCTIONS WHEN I CATCH YOU. WHEN I FUCKING CATCH YOU#STOP PLAYING WITH MY HOPE AND DESPAIR OMFG I CAN'T TAKE THIS ANYMORE (CLICKS ON THE NEXT EPISODE)#actually i think I'm gonna need more time before i eat the next one. this one is. fuckkkkkk#i didn't even have the emotional time to savour carpenter and haywards bickering THEY'RE SO CUTE (PLATONIC)#ANYWAY HOWWWW DO THEY DO IT SO WELL. IM FEELING BOTH HOPE AND DESPAIR TOGETHER#it's. you feel the same to Sebastian. when will the other shoe drop? when will the hotel be taken away from Sebastian? when will the#horrifying tragedy happen to dev and seb?#i kept guessing what's the worst thing to happen to them to try and prepare myself for it but honestly I'm glad I'm terrible at guessing#the dream ending. the dream ending. sorry limbus company canto 7 weighing heavy on my mind#the dream. ending#tsv#ALSO I CAN'T BELIEVE!!!! THEY GOT KISSING NOISES IN THE SILT VERSES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#KISSING NOISES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#eskew is like. being incredibly aware will not make the problems out of your control better you will only be very aware and maybe feel#vindicated if they come true but you will not feel any better#<-projecting
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todayisafridaynight · 8 months ago
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That prev anon was right about calling you mine people always talk about how Mine is so horny for daigo when in reality he probably shuts down at the thought of holding daigos hand it’s too much for him!
Hes so real for that tbh like i get it ……. I really do …….
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silverselfshippingchaos · 27 days ago
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I had a dream where a 3rd J.udgment game was announced and M.ine showed up for one split second in the reveal trailer with this super hot evil smirk on his face and Twitter was going batshit crazy over it
Then I woke up and got really disappointed
#ash rambles 💚#you were beautiful 💸#it's like also 6:30am rn#i jolted awake and ran to check twitter just in case something important happened in the y.akuza fandom#but nope. it didnt. at all. now I'm disappointed. and sleepy...#goodnight!!!!#hmm what else is going on in my life..? uhhh. I've got a massive final paper due tomorrow! i should... probably start that haha#I've got this other group project that i don't feel motivated to work on anymore because my group member (absolutely unsolicited)#popped into my DMs and was like 'hey here are some suggestions for your paper' and the comments were just mean as fuck#like what the fuck man. what the actual fuck?? this group member is also like two decades older than me-#but thats alright I'll do it eventually (also because I'm graded on how my group members review me and... if this little bitch gives me a#bad review and fucks up my chances at getting a 4.0 in every class this quarter...........)#hmmmm what else#I've been playing y.akuza 5! i just got to the hunting part. I'm bored. when does this shit get good?#oh and i've been rewatching f.airy t.ail when i have the time#and m.onster too because.. um.... dr. t.enma 👉🏽👈🏽#oh nooo (fake cough) I'm sickkk i need a doctor hahaha preferably a really hot one with a super nice voice and beautiful smile and-#and that's about it for my life updates ajdjshdjaj at least all that I'm comfortable sharing here#I'm still mad about my dream though#like. I'd be fine even if m.ine didnt show up again. maybe he survived and him and ash just decided to disappear off the grid together#but. I WANT THAT THIRD J.UDGMENT GAME#PLEAAASEEE#OH OH!!! ONE MORE UPDATE!!!!#i made a bad financial decision on black friday and now.. once my package arrives... I'LL HAVE EVERY MAINLINE Y.AKUZA GAME IN MY GRASP!!!#I AM SO POWERFULLLLLL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#I also bought s.oul hackers 2 bcs it looked interesting. anyone here like it?#hmmm I'm going back to sleep#gn#honk shoo mi mi mi mi
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quietwingsinthesky · 9 months ago
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Hiiiii! So, a few days ago you were talking about the whole thing with Amy, Rory, and River. And when I saw those posts a thought arose in my head and I wish to share it with you.
Since River grew up with Amy and Rory as Mels. And Mels was Amy's best friend do you think that they ever talked about children? Since I know that it can come up when talking with friends, and like... do you think that Amy might've ever expressed whether or not she wanted children?
And if she didn't, that Mels would've had to listen to her mother say that she doesn't want children? The idea is so heartbreaking and sooo interesting.
What do you think about it?
no, no, see, you're so right and this drives me wild.
because, the way i see it, i don't think amy wanted children. she's somewhere on the 'hasn't thought about it' to 'vaguely negative feelings about it happening' range to me, which falls sharply into 'Not Happening Ever Again' post-s6. (specifically, in terms of having a kid herself, even if she could, i really don't think she would. i do love that she and rory end up adopting a kid later, because that does make sense, for amy pond who grew up alone in one universe with her family swallowed by cracks in time before the doctor helped her set it right again, for her to want to make sure another child won't be alone in the world like she was. getting off-track here.)
and that's so. because the first real memory river/mels has of amy is of amy shooting at her. and depending on how well the silence fucked up the rest of her memory, it might be one of the very first memories she has at all. that's how she met her mother, crying for help and getting a bullet instead. her mother tried to kill her, so of course, you have to think. she must have needed to hear that she was wanted, right? even if she was taken away, even if amy shot her, at some point, melody must have been wanted?
river is good at getting people to do what she wants, but she is very, very bad at subtlety. and mels is younger, has less practice, so when she wants to know this, she's just going to ask. blunt and quick, easy enough because amy's used to the way mels will open her mouth and you just have to be ready to roll with what comes out if you want to keep up. it's why they're such good friends (like mother, like daughter.)
they're nine, and mels asks if amy wants kids, and amy wrinkles up her nose and says she won't have time for children, obviously, once her raggedy doctor finally comes back. they're fifteen, and amy and rory dance will they-won't they in a way that makes mels twitchy to watch, and taunting amy about wanting to have rory's babies is a good way to get on her nerves. but amy calls her gross, tells her she's got more life planned than children would leave room for, and besides, imagine her, a mom? it'd be a disaster.
mels does. a lot. she looks at her mother and just sees her best friend instead. she's not even sure what she wishes was there, but. maybe amy's right. and besides. imagine her, a daughter, instead of the ticking time bomb she really is? it'd be a disaster.
they're sixteen, seventeen, eighteen, and on. mels stands on the outside of a love story that births a universe. and her. how do you compete with that? not that she would know, not yet, she hasn't been there. but it doesn't make her feel any less alienated when amy and rory talk in whispers about a half-remembered world that's bled through to this life, about roman soldiers and boxes and the big bang of belief.
all these memories, they never mention children. on amy's wedding day, she's different, not like someone remembering a dream but someone who lived it. rory stands straighter, won't leave her side, and they're both so much older than they were yesterday. maybe now, right? a wedding's as good a time as any to decide you want kids.
mels not being at amy & rory's wedding is such an obvious lazy way of them trying to explain why they totally didn't just throw this plot twist together at the last minute that i'm not even going to acknowledge it. of course she was at their wedding. she's their best friend. there's too many people around the doctor, and she wasn't ready today of all days, so despite this horrible burning need under her skin to strike, she stays her hand. doesn't let him dance with her because she might just tear his throat out if he gets too close. stays with amy and rory as the maid of honor should. she must have been there for the awkward questions that always gets asked, 'so, any plans for a baby?' 'when am i getting grandkids?' 'oh, you two are going to have gorgeous children together.' standing a few feet from amy in her wedding dress and watching her mother tense and grit her teeth and brush off the questions. watching her look nervously at rory but never ask if he means it when his mom asks him if he'd prefer a son or a daughter, and rory answers 'either one, some day, not anytime soon.'
god i'm just going on and on, aren't i. but really, what's it like to know that amy never changed her mind. the next time she sees them, she's already been born and stolen. i don't like let's kill hitler for. so many reasons. but there is something compelling about how recklessly river lashes out at the world, at the doctor. even her sacrifice at the end is almost suicidal, throwing all her regenerations into this man without knowing if that will even work or if it might kill her to do it. but it makes more sense in the context of someone who has reached the end of a long, long wait for some kind of indication, any kind, that her mother wanted to have her. and finally been told, no. she didn't choose melody.
#like. to be clear also: i don't think the fact that amy didn't want kids and really didn't have a choice in giving birth to river#means that she wouldn't love river. i think it would make their relationship Complicated but i do think amy loves her. so much.#that's her daughter but it's also her best friend.#but like. god. to spend your whole childhood hoping you'll hear about some little glimmer of yourself.#a dream. a passing mention. a debate on baby names. anything. and to hear nothing.#and river is. like. she is really really bad at relationships right? we know this.#the person she's closest to is the doctor and she spends most of her life believing *he doesn't even love her*.#we're talking about someone whose base assumption about everyone is that they will try to hurt her at some point so she should always keep#one hand armed.#and her mother. didn't choose to have her. didn't have that choice. that has to fuck her up a little.#(and also serve as proof that river is. so so bad at knowing when she is loved. because maybe amy didn't choose to have her but she named#melody pond after mels her best friend. she has been choosing river every day for the past however many years since mels decided to come#here and be near her mom and dad even if only as kids. but river still can't see it.#and. given the nature of how the ponds disappear from her life. and we never get any closure about them and river.#you have to wonder if she ever did. river song do you know your mother loves you?#having the melody-as-river reveal be so close to the end of the season and then getting rid of amy & rory before they can actually do#anything with the three of them as a messed up little family unit is the show's biggest crime. because i don't know! i don't know if river#knew her parents loved her! i don't know if she *ever* came to terms with how she was born and how they didn't need to choose her then to#choose her now! i don't know if river ever really felt comfortable thinking of them as her parents rather than her friends?#according to the transcripts. river calls amy 'mother' twice. (and 'mummy' once jokingly.) she calls rory 'father' once. and 'dad' in angel#in manhattan. and it just. it drives insane right? it's almost weirdly formal. like the words aren't right but she knows she should say the#and. and. i don't think i'm ever going to get over river song.#i think that's the takeaway here.#ask#doctor who#river song#amy pond#rory williams
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stabbyfoxandrew · 10 months ago
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why do Jehovah's witnesses keep showing up at my house? two weekends in a row???
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rohirric-hunter · 3 months ago
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