#maybe they show up in your dreams
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The aromantic version of the “am I gay?” quiz is reading articles about how to tell if you have a crush.
#spoiler alert: you don’t#wikihow said shit like you think about them all the time#they make you happy#maybe they show up in your dreams#none of those things mean romantic attraction in case you’re as confused as I was#aromantic#aro#aromantic pride
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sleep deprived dust can't recognize what's dream and what's real when he goes in and out of consciousness so i think dust is allowed to be incredibly reckless when he's awake but thinks he's in a dream. he will kill whoever passes by him (or attempt to. for him it's an instict to shoot bones anyways.) he will drink 4 bottles of alcohol just because he thinks its just a lucid dream. have incredibly loud conversations with phantom paps because he's asleep so nobody will hear him talk. or just have loud ass breakdowns because again he thinks he's asleep!!! nobody's gonna know what he gets up to in his dreams. and until someone (probably phantom paps) tells him that he's not asleep and this is reality he won't realize until he's done something really reckless
horror is seconds away from exploding dust's skull open with his magic while dust is trying to strangle him and FINALLY phantom paps tells him he's awake and dust snaps out of it. killer is walking around the house with bones sticking out of him like pins on a sewing pattern (casually too. another day in the life for him) and he just asks dust what that was about. dust just gets off of horror and shrugs his shoulders with an idk. and then walks away. this is the 6th time its happened this month
#horror needs to find a way for him to get back at dust for almost killing him#horror IMMEDIATELY booby traps dust's room's door with several fatal traps. and then dust just teleports away to dodge them#horrors incredibly cool bone manipulation power is incredibly underrated. neither dust nor killer can do what he does#when i say people underestimate just how powerful horror is i mean this#he has MANY shows of power where he summons a shitton of bones. or when he's clever and tricky#using tiny bones so his karma can hit the guards more and kill them faster??? GENIUS#granted kist could definitely think of something like that but that doesn't mean horror's a coughing baby#ok back to my original post. i came up with this after doing my little dusttale translation thing#dust is such a fucking asshole during it all istg and i whooped and cheered every time he was a fucking dick#when he doesn't know what to do when in doubt destroy everything you see. what a guy#he'd definitely be a lot smarter than that in real situations but again#he came up with that strategy while he was under the impression that he was in a dream#so i do think this little prick can be quite an unrestrained destructive force when he doesn't know whats real or not#can i just talk more about translated dust because GODDDD he was SO FUCKING COOL IN MAD TIME SERIES I SWEAR#when he plucked floweys petals off him one by one???? and then berated him??? and the nursing home comment??????? fuck i lov him#can you please unspill the spilled blod??? sick ass line. i think he knew from the start he was gonna betray flowey in that one#god i love canon dust so much he's such a sadistic shit. and he likes it. what a freak. HE LIKES IT#the only person he outwardly expressed regret about killing was papyrus. you'd think he'd care more about everyone else but NOPE#or maybe he did in the earlier runs. still doesn't hide from the fact that he was cruel to everyone else. because thats dusttale 4 you#youre on death row and theyve sentenced you to endless torture and then the mtt pulls up#listen man if i were on death row and they were my torturers id let them do whatever. my babies can get back at me for making them suffer#canon horrordust my beloved i love canon horror and dust#idk if killer in this is like totally canon but idc. it's such a funny idea to make him unbothered when he's injured its hilarious#horror and dust's personal little punching bag ✨✨#killer sans#dust sans#horror sans#murder time trio#utmv#tricule hc
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Complaining abt Suicide Squad yet again but the fact that they have Waller exposing the alien community to space racist attacks and talking abt how she got to her position through deceit and being a terrible person and stuff is just. Ahsfiwueh JUST SAY YOU DONT KNOW WALLER.
Anyways literally the 3rd mission of the Squad ever (and the first framed as smth Waller picked and not orders from above) was the Squad discrediting and stopping a rogue vigilante who was only arresting POC and funneling white people into white supremacy groups (of which he was the most prominent member) in SUICIDE SQUAD #4. and it's explicitly framed as this mission being personal for Waller that she's hiding from the government bc its illegal like. Guys. Please why are we having her incite (space bc comics) racist attacks now
Also the whole "Amanda got her position through deceit and being a terrible person" NO. she KEPT her position through being shitty and playing complicated political games!!! She wasn't always that way like there is a difference and it is IMPORTANT ppl PLEASEEEE. In Secret Origins #14 we learn Amanda's backstory and she used to be a normal, caring person! Like even after she entered into working in government and politics she wasn't automatically morally bankrupt like please people. She was originally given control of the Squad by Reagan (*sigh* 80s comics...) to distract and get rid of her because she was so successful at pushing progressive social policy in Congress. Acting like she's this static pillar of evil is such a waste of her character and so fucking uninteresting and disrespectful to her arc it drives me MAD.
Like I am NOT saying Waller is all sunshine and rainbows, she fucking SUCKS (said w love <3) but like there's a human being there. It's a progression, she has a character arc like please, DC, please!!! They've fucked up Waller so bad and made her so opaque and uninteresting she can't even be the protagonist of her own story for fucks sake!
Like I don't know how many times I have to scream it until DC hears me or remembers but WALLER IS THE MAIN CHARACTER OF SUICIDE SQUAD. ITS HER BOOK. yet right now she's a cutout to be used as the villain wherever the writers please. Even in her book we get none of her perspective really displayed, no exploration of her thoughts with any kind of understanding of the role she traditionally has played and was made to play in the story.
#its like youre unable to root for her in any form. which is annoying bc shes actually awesome actually#also having her say “actually im the good guy fuck you'' w/o any actual deep analysis of her psyche or whatever while doing these things#doesnt count as development or showing shes 3 dimensional. its just having 2 dimensional waller say shes right when everyone is obviously#supposed to believe shes wrong#anyways i want real waller back please i miss herrrrrrrr#anyways hope mr john ridley has read secret origins no 14. i know its from 1987 but please guys please. my only hope#also it was a few months ago but i think they tried to push certain elements of a diff backstory in dream team and sorry but fuck that. and#any mention of another waller background like my eyes are closed sry. im a preboot truther#actually im just ignorant of most squad comics outside the original series. im gonna do a readthrough and become knowledgeable on other#stuff i just need to find time. so if im wrong then sorry if its smth factual and if you disagree with my opinion then uh sorry for ur loss#anyways shoutout to the time i had a nerd night w my one friend and she was asking me abt dc and said my favorite villains and i said waller#and silver swan. and she had a “yuck WHY” to waller and a ???? to silver swan. love shouting out my faves and explaining them to the less#informed. didnt say a number 3 but would probably be parallax ig. idk hes kind of slay. or maybe someone else honestly i like hal but waller#and nessie are blorbo level for me i could think abt them for hours#or maybe it wouldnt be parallax actually idk who my 3 would be. hes definitely up there but way below the other 2. maybe the cheetah#interpretation that i personally have. v different from the popular cheetah interpretation esp rucka vers actually. much closer to the pérez#and esp develops some subtext there surrounding barbara and the exploitation and theft of sacred cultural artifacts and pieces but also#like british colonization a lil bit#but i actually despise the cheetah that lives in my head but think shed be interesting to use narratively and see diana fight#vs the other guys who i find interesting and sympathetic and like for themselves#whereas my fave interpretation of cheetah can rot in hell#i got off topic here#blah#swishy rant#also disclaimer that w the main character ik dreamer is the main character of dream team. im talking more in general and that amanda should#always have a huge role as shes the main character of the squad and yet is treated like its villain and not its protag#sui sq
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last night I had a dream that you were drawing Dan and Phil fanart for me and we were just chillin. you didn't have a face, it was like in cartoons when adults are too tall for the screen, but you were kind of bewildered as to why I wanted you to draw those gay rats instead of your usual gay rats. we were just as antagonistic there as we are here. just thought you should know you're a permanent fixture in my brain
👁️ 🧠 👁️
it wasn't a dream i still have the fanart.
(i hope it doesnt look like i'm taking the piss out of their appearances (except for meme-ifying their eyes) i just cant draw people looking normal and i was laughing my ass off all throughout drawing this)
#im not completely familiar with these guys but i appreciate that they part their hair towards each other (or maybe away if they fall out)#it was either this or hank and connor titled 'dan and phil' but i feel i owe you dan and phil fanart for invading your dream#GOD i wish I WISH i was a cartoon character who was so tall their head was constantly out of frame#edit: i put it under a cut because i was self conscious about it showing up in tags lmao
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#oh my godddddd this looks incredible#if youre a fan of kate and have the means to go to new york go see her#like from these clips alone it just shows off her absolute prowess as an actor#the stage really is her home man like she looks so natural there#im so sad i cant just whip up a plane ticket to ny but ill support her in spirit#kate mulgrew#i legit screeched upon watching this#like with any luck they'll do a cheeky full release of a filmed version after the show is over (unlikely but a girl can dream)#no but you guys dont understand that moment of her drawing is so interesting because she has said she misses her mother and#she has never really described herself as and artist but she absolutely is doing something there like her body language is dead on#i dont think she has the patience to be an actual artist it does require a bit of solitude and being in one place for countless hours#kate always strikes me as someone who doesnt settle down but she understands artmaking because of her mum/ family that is so epic to me omg#maybe in another life for her...she could have
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not to go off on this again but that people and articles are really trying to act like vesemir, a character who only appears in any kind of substantial capacity in two chapters out of an eight book series of which the show already adapted in s2 anyway, being recast is somehow more proof of what a failure the show is and how it's plagued with problems and scandals as if non-series regular actors are never recast due to scheduling conflicts, likE.
#the witcher#!txt: the witcher#the witcher spoilers#i mean if you liked kim and his performance and are sad abt him not appearing again#hey fair enough#but acting like vesemir is some major character#when going off the books he really wouldn't reappear again after s2#(except for maybe in a montage of other characters waking up from a nightmare)#like yeah you don't know what you're talking about lol#and it's super obvious that you're just biased and your hatred of the show is completely irrational tbh#(also this isn't confirmed but chances are higher than not that he'll just be in a flashback or a dream sequence or something)
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a mind palace’s (unasked for) renovations [DO NOT TAG AS SHIP]
bonus under the cut:
white mushroom more like “butlershroom.”
anyway. yep! my headcanon is that the mushroom series of heartless were essentially like early versions of ansem. experiments to see if creating a heartless with a will of its own were even possible. (the mushrooms just wanna play charades and go on nice walks! they wont steal your heart because their instincts tell em’ to! they’ll only snatch it if they feel like it <3) how can you make an “immortal” successor if they cant even understand the research you left for them? so thats why they were created!
#beep boop you want fries with that#kingdom hearts#re:kh#ansem#riku#ansem you cant slutspread infront of the children …#<- in his defense he wasn’t expecting riku to walk in#i feel like ansem craves attention but also wants to be left alone but also wants someone to talk to but also#he loves to ponder about his own existentialism but as soon as hes asked about it he changes the subject#hes been alone for so long and was never allowed to make friends with anyone that he doesn’t understand friendship#perhaps riku will be the one to show him#in short. yes ansem will be getting a redemption arc of sorts. but hes going to be really annoying about it.#his arrogance was his downfall and he loves being an annoying little shit <3#love youuuu 🥰🥰🥰#ansem infodumping but it’s about human experimentation and not a novel series from the hollow bastion library#is a thought thats really funny to me.#also if youre confused about ansem still being in rikus heart. in my rewrite he doesnt ‘die’ in kh2#the blast of light only causes ansem to go dormant until in my dream drop rewrite#‘something’ happens (im not telling) that causes him to reawaken and he attempts to take control again. which ends poorly for ansem#(riku defeats him again)#riku wont get rid of ansem. because he is tied to riku’s darkness. riku claims ansem is going to have to live with this. and that hes#already accepted this fact. ansem just needs to do the same.#so ansem begrudgingly resigns to his fate. but this isnt enough for riku. he wants to do something he never thought he would ever do#maybe his friends are rubbing off on him but. riku wants to see if maybe….. they could be friends? perhaps? this isnt going to work …#.. is it?#you’re grasping for straws here boy. give it up.
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Suds!! You are yet again like 90% of my art reblogs. 😭😭😭
Thanku for remembering my arts. 💙
HOW COULD I FORGET WHEN YOURE LITERALLY ONE OF THE BEST OUT THERE???? I'M ALWAYS EATING GOOD WHEN ITS YOU
Actually everyone who sees this post I provide you with a list of good tired art to reblog:
->Pretty boy skateboarder Punz
->Sparkly lovely XD??? Oh my god??
->Drunz is doing a little dance<3
->Being emotional about cFundy, as a treat
->Schlatt being a poor little baa-baa<3333
->Listen Punz deserves to give Dream flowers. shut up I'm normal
->Foosh. The Most Foosh. Look At Him. Give Him Hugs.
->yes I'm grabbing every drunz art. its not my fault its so well done. I have demons okay. theyre hugging.
->Dream getting cuddles from Steve The Polar Bear
->Philza and George bow designs !!!! Jesus christ these are so cool. how do I learn to make weapon designs.
->A Ranboo design that absolutely delights me. Different ties depending on if its Ran or Ender, aaaaaa
->hey guys did you know Punz is one of my favorite characters<-frothing at the mouth
->honestly weapon and armor designs are my weakness
->DRUNZ DRUNZ DRUNZ DRUNZ DRUNZ AAAAAAAAAAAAA
->Dream getting the comfort he deserves
->Punz covered in blood
->Catboy!Punz (no the dopamine hits I get every time I reblog Punz art are normal doctor)
->I am NORMAL about PUNZ shut UP (Valo design)
->Post-Prison Dream trying to cut his hair, HNRRRR-
->FUCK (more Catboy Punz)
->hnnnnnn Mob boss Dream with loyal right hand Punz???? augh
->FEM DREAM EVERYONE ITS A CODE GREEN, STAY CALM WAIT FUCK SHE'S FULLY COLORED IN THIS ONE. STAY FUCKING CALM-
->Drunz chained together. Very normal. I am normal.
->hnnnn why is Dream so pretty in this. I need Punz to kiss him.
->no you dont understand I'm studying how you drew Grians wings to see if I can learn how to draw them that good. christ I want to learn your power.
-> Technoblade comic featuring other people missing him. My heart hurts a lot looking at this.
->Valo Punz (instant dopamine hit)
->Tireds DTIYS Dream that I don't feel I could ever feasibly attempt just because its so fucking godly. But I Will Try Someday Soon. fucking hell.
->WAIT MUMBO WITH LONG HAIR???
->Lynx Punz (instant dopamine hit)
->Holy shit. Grian as a marble statue with wings spread. The level of ability on display here is spectacular????
->drunz are hugging (I am once again frothing at the mouth)
->Hnnnnnn tarot card Dream looking so pretty
->god, this fucks me up so hard. Punz is taking a picture of Dream, in absolute awe, but Punz's comic panel is the one thats shaped like a photo. As if they can capture their reaction but theyll never be able to capture Dream's joy, his beauty and light. (AND THEN YOU COLORED IT)
->Witches Dreamnap. Its so funny to me that Sapnap seems fully into it while Dream is right behind him looking Ready For Mischief
->hnnnnn baby Punzzzzz, BABY PUNZZZZZZZZZ AAAAAAAA (instant dopamine hit)
->literally all of your expression memes??? Dream covered in blood while Purpled is chill about it. Wet Cat Mumbo. The Foosh with hearts in his eyes. Shy pretty boy Dream with braided hair. TANGO. The fuckinnnn Foosh/XD kiss. SNF (my favorite underrated ship) and Grumbo. DREAMNAP YES. Drunz getting to be happy!!!
->Obligatory Etho Chilling In A Tree<33
->A Canary Loves His Coal Mine. FUCK (comic)
->Dreamnap kissing and more FooshXD. <-bites down on my phone, instantly destroying it
->Enderman Dream for cHybrid day<333
->pissboy Purpled<3 (says this with love and giggles)
->smalletho comic. Why does this feel so comfortable and nostalgic.
->the flowers trailing down.... who is this...
->bdubs and Dream, and interaction I've never thought of before but now want to see happen
->Drunz, hgnhhhhh
->Jimmy Solidarity worshipping Scar at the altar.
->I tried really, really hard to scroll past Sam, thinking I could be strong. I have my own demons to face.
->I really love when people do like, Different Eyes For Different Characters Posts. Its delightful
->god fucking damn. stop converting me to Ethoisms
->DREAMNOTNAP THIS IS NOT A DRILL
->Drunz with more Lynx Punz (instant dopamine hit)
->MORE DRUNZ WITH LYNX PUNZ (a second dopamine hit)
->SNAKE DREAM WITH LYNX PUNZ (stop stop I'm already dead)
->fuck. goddamit. Dream is leaning in to bite Punz's wrist. I need to throw myself directly into the lake.
->noooooo Snake Dream wrapping around Punz for warmth. My 37th weakness.
->Punz. (dopamine hit.)
->Drunznap. Objectively beautiful<333
->Valo Dream to go with the Valo Punz, HNNNNN THEY MUST ALWAYS BE TOGETHER
->hey you ever cry while gently caressing a cracking marble statue of your lover? Just normal Dream about Punz things :))))
->Hnnnn Punz expressions. Theyre so fucking !!!!! barkbarkbark
->Drunz DBH au. hahaha I can be normal (you witness me shatter a plate in my hands)
->punz in a dresss hnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn
->IM FEASTING, DRUNZ KISSING. BRAIN IS LIGHTING UP.
->s2 Dream design !!! He has a cane!!!!! As he should :oDDDD (WAIT THERES A SECOND VERSION)
->inhales. You Can Always Rely On Your Knight, Dream. He loves you so much.
->Punzzz (instant dopamine hit.)
->Dream in Punz's clothes!!!! (smashes my head against a concrete brick)
->Drunz DRUNZ Drunz Drunzzz dRuNz DRUNZZZZ (them<3)
->The Grian/Dream apocalypse, the ship we needed and so desperately deserved. I have been converted.
okay I have to stop. This list is getting too long. I have to be normal. (Foolish Valo Design)
Yes I went through Tired's art tag to grab these. Honestly I went through about 20 pages before I lost steam. And There's Still More. I'd go check out his art for the full list, I barely covered half of it- especially if youre into the Hermitcraft/Life series. Here's the tag, have fun scrolling <3
#suds asks#suds soapbox#art recommendations for People Who Are Definitely Normal#now you all see why I reblog 250 posts a day and then get locked out of tumblr because of the post limit#this started out as me just wanting to grab some highlights and then I got 18 pages in and was like#this is ALL a highlight#its a really big deal to me because I when I think of artists who's skill level I'd really want emulate- Tired is always one of them#And this list ended up being so long because while maybe I should have chosen solely ones that were Long Comics or Obvious#or ones that showed off the Technical Skills that Tired so clearly has#It feels Not Right to not include all the art that was clearly made from a place of love and passion even if it was sketches or smaller??#Like. The love poured into an art piece feels just as important as the detail and effort and skill#How Could You Not Lovel Sketches Of Dream And Punz Being Happy. How Is That Not Worth The Whole World#Its wonderful. Your art is wonderful
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i need them to put eddie in a coma so he can have his own little coma dream realization
#like can you imagine#maybe he didnt reenlist#maybe hes got that perfect little romantic life he keeps thinking he had with shannon#maybe they stayed in el paso#or the three of them moved to la together when shannons mom got sick#and maybe eddie isnt a firefighter maybe he went into contracting or landscaping because he likes to work with his hands#or maybe he went into nursing because he likes helping people#but hes living a perfect little life with a son and wife and their white picket fence but he cant shake the feeling that something is wrong#he pulls aside for a firetruck on his way to work and something about it makes him feel funny like he misses something#and so he asks shannon when he gets home#hey did i ever apply to the fire academy#and she says no why would you have done that?? as she places a warmed frozen lasagna down on the diner table#he watches chris pick at his plate and swears that chris loved lasagna#and maybe hes out on his lunch break at the park and he hears a woman cry and run to find a man collapsed on the ground and shes panicking#so he tells her to call 911 and he starts compressions#the fire department shows up and hen and chim take his place and he fills them in before stepping back#youre good under pressure buck says from beside him#and eddie just kinda looks at him for a second because#he feels right#this feels right#being right here beside this man with a crooked grin on his face feels right#but eddie just shrugs and says well i was in the army kinda came with the territory#and then bobbys voice crackles through the radio buck i told you to stop flirting on calls get in the truck now#and buck returns an ay ay captain and winks at eddie before hopping in the firetruck#he watches engine 118 drive away and thinks he should be right next to buck in that truck#okay i got carried away but i need it#like there are so many possibilities for eddie coma dream and like#tim listen to me i need you to do think i need eddie to be put into a coma so he can realize that his life now is everything hes needed
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AM I IN FUCKING ESKEW AGAIN
#tsv 36#liveblog#I KNEW SOMETHING WAS UP IT WAS SO TENDER IN THE BEGINNING BUT THE CHAPTER TITLE IS 'ALL LOVERS PART AS DUST' BUT WE GET A GLIMPSE OF HAPPY#MOMENTS IN THE TRAGIC SHOW YOU CAN'T HELP BUT SAVOUR IT. YOU GET HOPEFUL#you expect to see the other shoe drop but it didn't for so long so you maybe mayybe can try to settle into the comfort AND THAT'S WHEN IT#GETS YOU I CAN'T BELIEVE I'M BACK IN ESKEW#ESKEW PRODUCTIONS WHEN I CATCH YOU. WHEN I FUCKING CATCH YOU#STOP PLAYING WITH MY HOPE AND DESPAIR OMFG I CAN'T TAKE THIS ANYMORE (CLICKS ON THE NEXT EPISODE)#actually i think I'm gonna need more time before i eat the next one. this one is. fuckkkkkk#i didn't even have the emotional time to savour carpenter and haywards bickering THEY'RE SO CUTE (PLATONIC)#ANYWAY HOWWWW DO THEY DO IT SO WELL. IM FEELING BOTH HOPE AND DESPAIR TOGETHER#it's. you feel the same to Sebastian. when will the other shoe drop? when will the hotel be taken away from Sebastian? when will the#horrifying tragedy happen to dev and seb?#i kept guessing what's the worst thing to happen to them to try and prepare myself for it but honestly I'm glad I'm terrible at guessing#the dream ending. the dream ending. sorry limbus company canto 7 weighing heavy on my mind#the dream. ending#tsv#ALSO I CAN'T BELIEVE!!!! THEY GOT KISSING NOISES IN THE SILT VERSES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#KISSING NOISES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#eskew is like. being incredibly aware will not make the problems out of your control better you will only be very aware and maybe feel#vindicated if they come true but you will not feel any better#<-projecting
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That prev anon was right about calling you mine people always talk about how Mine is so horny for daigo when in reality he probably shuts down at the thought of holding daigos hand it’s too much for him!
Hes so real for that tbh like i get it ……. I really do …….
#snap chats#its about respect and not wanting to overstep but still feel like youre going to explode on the inside thinking of him#i get it king …. stay pining …..#its why thinking of daigo being the one to pursue mine makes me yell fiPWZNJ#main man mine tryna just be at a respectful difference and then daigo just makes full strides to him like Hi :)#it makes me kick my feet and wanna open google doc … cause i cant DRAW THIS WEEKEND 😭😭😭😭#stupid computer …. at least it’ll be fixed by monday hopefully but still ….. i wanna be a fanatic NEOW#ig since i cant work i can just. type on my phone. even if it makes me wanna throw up but we ball#bitch omg the shinsengumi showed up in the movie im watchin for class … hey nerds ….#ok im gonna day dream for the next hour maybe ill write something down later
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Hiiiii! So, a few days ago you were talking about the whole thing with Amy, Rory, and River. And when I saw those posts a thought arose in my head and I wish to share it with you.
Since River grew up with Amy and Rory as Mels. And Mels was Amy's best friend do you think that they ever talked about children? Since I know that it can come up when talking with friends, and like... do you think that Amy might've ever expressed whether or not she wanted children?
And if she didn't, that Mels would've had to listen to her mother say that she doesn't want children? The idea is so heartbreaking and sooo interesting.
What do you think about it?
no, no, see, you're so right and this drives me wild.
because, the way i see it, i don't think amy wanted children. she's somewhere on the 'hasn't thought about it' to 'vaguely negative feelings about it happening' range to me, which falls sharply into 'Not Happening Ever Again' post-s6. (specifically, in terms of having a kid herself, even if she could, i really don't think she would. i do love that she and rory end up adopting a kid later, because that does make sense, for amy pond who grew up alone in one universe with her family swallowed by cracks in time before the doctor helped her set it right again, for her to want to make sure another child won't be alone in the world like she was. getting off-track here.)
and that's so. because the first real memory river/mels has of amy is of amy shooting at her. and depending on how well the silence fucked up the rest of her memory, it might be one of the very first memories she has at all. that's how she met her mother, crying for help and getting a bullet instead. her mother tried to kill her, so of course, you have to think. she must have needed to hear that she was wanted, right? even if she was taken away, even if amy shot her, at some point, melody must have been wanted?
river is good at getting people to do what she wants, but she is very, very bad at subtlety. and mels is younger, has less practice, so when she wants to know this, she's just going to ask. blunt and quick, easy enough because amy's used to the way mels will open her mouth and you just have to be ready to roll with what comes out if you want to keep up. it's why they're such good friends (like mother, like daughter.)
they're nine, and mels asks if amy wants kids, and amy wrinkles up her nose and says she won't have time for children, obviously, once her raggedy doctor finally comes back. they're fifteen, and amy and rory dance will they-won't they in a way that makes mels twitchy to watch, and taunting amy about wanting to have rory's babies is a good way to get on her nerves. but amy calls her gross, tells her she's got more life planned than children would leave room for, and besides, imagine her, a mom? it'd be a disaster.
mels does. a lot. she looks at her mother and just sees her best friend instead. she's not even sure what she wishes was there, but. maybe amy's right. and besides. imagine her, a daughter, instead of the ticking time bomb she really is? it'd be a disaster.
they're sixteen, seventeen, eighteen, and on. mels stands on the outside of a love story that births a universe. and her. how do you compete with that? not that she would know, not yet, she hasn't been there. but it doesn't make her feel any less alienated when amy and rory talk in whispers about a half-remembered world that's bled through to this life, about roman soldiers and boxes and the big bang of belief.
all these memories, they never mention children. on amy's wedding day, she's different, not like someone remembering a dream but someone who lived it. rory stands straighter, won't leave her side, and they're both so much older than they were yesterday. maybe now, right? a wedding's as good a time as any to decide you want kids.
mels not being at amy & rory's wedding is such an obvious lazy way of them trying to explain why they totally didn't just throw this plot twist together at the last minute that i'm not even going to acknowledge it. of course she was at their wedding. she's their best friend. there's too many people around the doctor, and she wasn't ready today of all days, so despite this horrible burning need under her skin to strike, she stays her hand. doesn't let him dance with her because she might just tear his throat out if he gets too close. stays with amy and rory as the maid of honor should. she must have been there for the awkward questions that always gets asked, 'so, any plans for a baby?' 'when am i getting grandkids?' 'oh, you two are going to have gorgeous children together.' standing a few feet from amy in her wedding dress and watching her mother tense and grit her teeth and brush off the questions. watching her look nervously at rory but never ask if he means it when his mom asks him if he'd prefer a son or a daughter, and rory answers 'either one, some day, not anytime soon.'
god i'm just going on and on, aren't i. but really, what's it like to know that amy never changed her mind. the next time she sees them, she's already been born and stolen. i don't like let's kill hitler for. so many reasons. but there is something compelling about how recklessly river lashes out at the world, at the doctor. even her sacrifice at the end is almost suicidal, throwing all her regenerations into this man without knowing if that will even work or if it might kill her to do it. but it makes more sense in the context of someone who has reached the end of a long, long wait for some kind of indication, any kind, that her mother wanted to have her. and finally been told, no. she didn't choose melody.
#like. to be clear also: i don't think the fact that amy didn't want kids and really didn't have a choice in giving birth to river#means that she wouldn't love river. i think it would make their relationship Complicated but i do think amy loves her. so much.#that's her daughter but it's also her best friend.#but like. god. to spend your whole childhood hoping you'll hear about some little glimmer of yourself.#a dream. a passing mention. a debate on baby names. anything. and to hear nothing.#and river is. like. she is really really bad at relationships right? we know this.#the person she's closest to is the doctor and she spends most of her life believing *he doesn't even love her*.#we're talking about someone whose base assumption about everyone is that they will try to hurt her at some point so she should always keep#one hand armed.#and her mother. didn't choose to have her. didn't have that choice. that has to fuck her up a little.#(and also serve as proof that river is. so so bad at knowing when she is loved. because maybe amy didn't choose to have her but she named#melody pond after mels her best friend. she has been choosing river every day for the past however many years since mels decided to come#here and be near her mom and dad even if only as kids. but river still can't see it.#and. given the nature of how the ponds disappear from her life. and we never get any closure about them and river.#you have to wonder if she ever did. river song do you know your mother loves you?#having the melody-as-river reveal be so close to the end of the season and then getting rid of amy & rory before they can actually do#anything with the three of them as a messed up little family unit is the show's biggest crime. because i don't know! i don't know if river#knew her parents loved her! i don't know if she *ever* came to terms with how she was born and how they didn't need to choose her then to#choose her now! i don't know if river ever really felt comfortable thinking of them as her parents rather than her friends?#according to the transcripts. river calls amy 'mother' twice. (and 'mummy' once jokingly.) she calls rory 'father' once. and 'dad' in angel#in manhattan. and it just. it drives insane right? it's almost weirdly formal. like the words aren't right but she knows she should say the#and. and. i don't think i'm ever going to get over river song.#i think that's the takeaway here.#ask#doctor who#river song#amy pond#rory williams
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why do Jehovah's witnesses keep showing up at my house? two weekends in a row???
#you stupid motherfuckers!!#i was having a good ass dream! why the fuck are you here TwT#even if you were to show up every weekend for the rest of my life i would not ever follow you back to your cult! go away!#fuck maybe we need to get a sign that says SATAN WORSHIPPERS INSIDE or smth#damn#the worst part was being WOKEN from my DREAM#it was so good and now i have no idea what it was :(((#diaerie
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#i had a dream that i submitted a lotro support ticket about some issue that was happening when i opened my inventory#and they messaged me back just saying 'just dont open your inventory lol'#which okay they would never word it like that#but they have started saying 'weve sent this to our quality assurance team to review to see if its an issue that requires fixing'#and i think thats kind of rude#like the first time i saw it i was saying 'these gloves show up this way on female characters and this way on male characters'#and while im pretty sure its a mistake it might not be#so it made sense there#but on skills that arent working right? neck seams? you need to review that and see if it needs fixing??????#theyve also started telling me to go be on the forums in every bug submission response and like. dude#i JUST blocked the forums so i cant access them from my computer#i did not do this for funsies#the forums are a toxic place and i cant handle it#if you want me on the forums do more moderation. maybe stop letting people use slurs as their usernames
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okay thats interesting! in the SF try-outs during the song "legally blonde" she sings about how she cant be legally blonde, while in the official version AND THE DEMO she sings about letting her be legally blonde. which means that at some point they changed the lyrics around, and then changed them back! laurence o'keefe.... nell benjamin.... what occurs in your twisted minds
#covers mouth sorry so sorry guys#im a huge fan of beacon of positivity + good boy (elle puts a leash on emmett confirmed) + love and war (not in the demo but part of SF)#+ i liked some of the lyrics in the demo version of so much better (it called back to beacon of positivity!!! (i am insane)) such as:#I dream of your name next to my own but mine's looking fine up there alone#but i greatly prefer all the official songs we got. well. maybe good boy over ireland wouldve been fun (i think ireland is boring)#but itd play into the 'all men are dogs hurr hurr' joke that im glad they avoided. anyways. what was i saying.#right i havent listened to every version of everything yet (for example theres a SF version of chip on my shoulder i need to watch)#(and just the SF vers in general. shes hidden from me... why was emmett there before the remix... let me see their conversation)#but from what i have heard they made a lot of changes that were sorely needed. in take it like a man demo shes so much meaner??#it made me sad. it wasnt a duet + they wrung out the romantic tension (no subtext by calvin klein... sigh) + shes meaner!!!!#in the bway vers hes baffled but enjoys going along w it + she genuinely likes him even when hes wearing his regular clothes#but in the demo vers she keeps calling him stuff like ugly duckling and talking about how the geek is gone :( but she likes that geek..#the lines 'how much do you think i earn??' and 'kindly shut up :)' are funny but speak to a dynamic between the two that makes me sad...#follow me for more beautiful opinions on a fifteen year old musical#(heaves. do you know weird it is to see comments from 15yrs ago when this was actually showing. my brother is fifteen.)#god im so sorry i should be put down like a dog#lgb bootleggers are intense. i swear they got a bootleg every night or smth bc we got her shoe flying off + SF + kyle as understudy etc#go watch a so much better compilation sometime how did they take so many bootlegs?? how did you find them??#and its awesome cause these were filmed on 2007/2008 tech which means they have 15 pixels maximum#SORRRRYYYYYYYYYY
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That moment when you have a dream about somebody and it feels so real that your brain legitimately has to take a moment to grieve its loss when you wake up and realize it isn't
#depression#technically it wasn't you in the dream#...it was jacob elordi from Euphoria (don't ask me why; i do not know)#(and even weirder; in the dream he was basically trying to circumspectly ask me and/or the friend(gf?) i was with to eat his 🍑 lmao)#(he tried to bribe/entice us by picking pears for us out of this massive tree - showing off lmao)#(mine was shaped like an upside down heart 🥲)#(so i told him like 'i don't even know how to do that. i have no experience. but like. maybe??)#('maybe? if im like 💯 sure you cleaned between the cheeks? idk it seems awfully intimate to ask of someone youre not like dating')#and then he came closer to me and let me hug him for a sec. just for a second. my arm around him & ear to his chest#and it felt so real!!!#until i woke up juuust enough to realize: jacob elordi was not real.#BUT that my brain had used the very real sense memory of hugging you to produce that dream sensation#and it made me so homesick#because your left ribs still feel like home to me#even five months later#what the fuck is wrong with me
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