#but whether i get to that in 3 days or 3 months is a mystery for now. just kind of a lot to think about once again
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lightweaver-chosen-if · 1 day ago
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Monthly Progress Update!
We're now at 132k words~
I'm still mainly on the group training route, making sure things are dynamic depending on the MC and their interactions with the ROs. In other words, it's been just me writing 3 variations of scenes (flavor texts still not included), because I love suffering. :D
Brief highlights this month!
Story
J will briefly appear during the route. It's up to MC whether they end up staying or not.
J's dynamics with the rest of the ROs. Still figuring it out.
A & L's mini comfort scenes with MC for their potential breakdown.
Did some writing revisions on earlier scenes to introduce the MC's Journal.
Resume the training parts of the route.
Stat Page
Journals! MC can now write journals at the end of an eventful day!
Images of handwritten pages. Handwriting is bad on purpose im sorry (might get better though ;p).
Each entry will depend on MC's current state of mind and relationship with other characters.
This replaced the relationships tab if you're curious.
Skill tab fixes. Preparing it for the upcoming 7-day training arc with the mysterious (?) mentor!
Lore/Outlines
Expanded the story outline a bit more. There's a lot. I'll probably have to trim it as I go. But it's looking to be one packed year for MC.
Upcoming Patreon Content
RO POVs of their first meeting with MC.
RO Side Stories of a normal date with MC (neither of them know what a normal date is)
Side Story about the day MC escaped.
Regular Demo Sneak Peeks and Journal Sneak Peeks.
Maybe some art or doodles of my MCs or ROs ( ◡‿◡ *)
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seaofreverie · 5 months ago
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I knew about the post concert depression but no one told me about the post concert constant feeling of AAAAAAAAAHHH that lasts days and makes everything much more bearable and beautiful and some sort of ethereal type of hope is restored into the world, or maybe it's just the "seeing your favourite band after first thinking that it would never happen and later spending many months waiting for it all the while fearing that it wouldn't happen after all because of circumstances outside my control or feeling like it was too beautiful and wonderful to be true so ofc it wouldn't come true" part of it all
#guys i love they might be giants. did you know about this#me days before the show: crying because i will see they might be giants#me days after the show: crying because i saw they might be giants#truth is that i didn't actually full on cry until yesterday evening though so once i was back home so it was all officially over#and it was time to just slow down and realize that oh well wow. so all that just happened. like for realsies#i also finally looked through my videos and my recording of the whole show (yes as an archivist freak who records audio from most concerts#i obviously had to record this one also. now i can listen to it again and again and be remided that i didn't dream it all up after all)#but yeah all this and now i'm supposed to move on and go back to my stupid daily life#like i didn't just have one of those real actual life experiences and moments of pure fun that other people generally get from time to time#and that i haven't had since idk even when a year and a half ago#thats the last time i consider truly amazing on a level somewhat comparable to this. but back to the show and the whole thing.#like this wouldn't have been quite as perfect if i didn't share that time with fellow fans / friends that i ended up attending the show wit#you don't realize how badly you've been wanting to be included in things and for people to be genuinely fond of you and like your company#until you get included and shown that fondness. like wow i'm allowed to have fun too after all. can it happen again someday please. anyway#i'm just glad that in midst of my big bad awful times i could have this truly amazing 10/10 time#and i guess it doesn't have to be the last such time right. even if it's easy to give into the feeling that it is#but ok anyway i'll get to that proper show recap later when i can think clearly again#and maybe more on that more personal side of it all too because well i have many more thoughts obviously#but whether i get to that in 3 days or 3 months is a mystery for now. just kind of a lot to think about once again#and my stupid baka life continues on also whether i like it or not so that has to be taken into consideration as well#time to think again about school that i'm so totally fully failing now with my two weeks long absence yayyy. its fine i'll figure it all out#goosepost
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woniedarlin · 2 months ago
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can you, perhaps, do an idol! jungwon x reader fanfic? the setting would be reader accidentally texting jungwon and the reader is an engene as well, actually, but then reader and won keep talking but he doesn't reveal he is an idol until later!! reader could be in the industry as like a staff or smth!
Sent, Delivered, Loved
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pairing: idol! Jungwon x staff! reader
synopsis: As a hardworking staff member at HYBE, the last thing you expected was to accidentally text the wrong number in the middle of a busy day. But instead of a confused reply, the person on the other end kept the conversation going. He was funny, easy to talk to, and somehow, you found yourself looking forward to his messages. You didn’t know his name, his face, or even his voice but you liked him. Which was ridiculous, right?
Oh, and the person you were texting? Yeah. It was Jungwon. THE Jungwon from enhypen.
author's note: Thank you for the amazing request, Anonie! I must say, it took me a whole month to finish this, but it was definitely worth it. I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it. Happy reading, everyone! 💖
warning: This is just for the plot and should never be taken seriously. Do NOT text random strangers 😭 and don’t ever fall for someone just through texting. Mentions of cursing and also slight angst.
permanent tag list: @sol3chu @chlorinecake @13tter @jung1w0n @layzfy
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You: bro wtf where r u???
You angrily jabbed at your screen. It was late, you were exhausted, and your friend, your so-called reliable colleague, was missing in action when you needed them most.
You: i swear to god if u left me to deal with this alone i’m blocking u forever.
A few seconds passed, and then-
Unknown Number: uh… hi??
You frowned. That wasn’t the reaction you were expecting.
You: ???
You: don’t play dumb. u know what u did.
Unknown Number: i actually don’t. i think u have the wrong number??
Your eyes widened.
Oh.
OH.
You immediately scrolled up, checking the number you had just texted, only to realize that you had completely messed up one digit in your rush.
You: …omg wait. ur not Jiho?
Unknown Number: pretty sure i’m not.
You: oh my god kill me now. i’m so sorry.
Unknown Number: lmao it’s cool. what did this guy do to deserve ur wrath tho??
You sighed and debated whether or not to answer. But at this point, you’d already embarrassed yourself. Might as well go all in.
You: he bailed on me. we were supposed to finish this event setup for work but guess who’s suddenly “busy” 🙄
Unknown Number: damn. fake friend behavior.
You: RIGHT?? like i love him but i will fight him.
The typing bubble appeared, then disappeared. Then, it appeared again.
Unknown Number: sounds like a rough job. must be intense working in the industry.
You blinked at your screen. That was… a little specific.
You: wait, how’d u know it’s the industry??
Unknown Number: u mentioned an event setup. unless ur hosting birthday parties on a tuesday night, i figured.
You: touché.
Unknown Number: so what do u do?
You hesitated for a moment. It wasn’t like this was confidential information, but still…should you be talking about work with a total stranger? Then again, you had already gone on a rant about your missing-in-action coworker, so what harm would a little more do?
You: just staff stuff. event coordination, assisting with schedules, making sure idols don’t get lost on the way to their own stages. u know. the usual.
Unknown Number: sounds like a nightmare.
You: it is <3
You chuckled, shaking your head at how easy it was to talk to this person.
Unknown Number: u must meet a lot of idols then.
You sighed.
You: yeah but it’s not as exciting as u think. they’re just people. some r nice, some r annoying, some act like they don’t know what a clock is.
Unknown Number: LOL. any favorites?
You raised an eyebrow at that.
You: what, r u an idol fan?
Unknown Number: maybe.
You: ok mysterious.
Unknown Number: u didn’t answer tho.
You hummed and think.
You: idk. if i had to pick… maybe enhypen? they’re cool.
A beat of silence. Then,
Unknown Number: good taste.
Weird. Before you could think too much about it, another message popped up.
Unknown Number: anyway, u still mad at ur friend or did u forgive him?
You rolled your eyes.
You: still mad. he better buy me food.
Unknown Number: solid plan. u deserve compensation.
You: exactly!! u get it.
And just like that, the conversation flowed on, stretching far past the frustration that started it. You didn’t know who this person was, but they were easy to talk to, and for some reason, you didn’t mind keeping the conversation going.
🫐
Over the next few weeks, your accidental text became a daily habit. You didn’t know why, but talking to this stranger was easy. Maybe it was because he had no expectations of you. He wasn’t a coworker, a superior, or an idol to impress. He was just some guy who sent back sarcastic texts and asked surprisingly thoughtful questions.
And for Jungwon, it was the opposite.
For the first time in a long while, he got to be a normal person. Not Jungwon, leader of Enhypen. Just some random guy in your messages. He didn’t have to worry about his image or if he was saying the right thing. You didn’t treat him differently. You teased him, called him bro, and sent blurry dinner photos.
And he liked it.
Maybe he never corrected you when you called him a nobody. Perhaps he looked forward to your messages more than he should.
Maybe that’s why he didn’t tell you the truth.
🫐
You groaned as you dropped onto a chair in the break room. You are completely drained, and the past few hours have been horrible. Running back and forth between different rooms, handling last-minute requests, and nearly getting run over by a staff member pushing a cart too fast. At this point, your legs were made of jelly, your back ached, and your only source of comfort was-
You: listen here, u lil gremlin. i am suffering.
Unknown Number: ???
Unknown Number: what did i do this time 😭
You: EXIST. why am i here working my ass off while u get to sit there and breathe??
Unknown Number: maybe bc u have a job and i’m just a mysterious, incredibly cool stranger on the internet
You: mysterious, incredibly cool GREMLIN.
You: actually no. goblin. u give goblin energy.
Jungwon almost choked on his water. Goblin??
Unknown Number: EXCUSE ME.
Unknown Number: what part of me gives goblin energy???
You: idk. just a vibe. like a smug little goblin who laughs at my suffering.
Jungwon did, in fact, laugh at that. He leaned back in his chair, shaking his head.
Unknown Number: ok but real talk. what’s making u suffer this time
You: running around hybe like a headless chicken. setting up for another event. also why do idols need so many rooms. just share a table or smth smh.
Jungwon raised a brow.
Hybe.
So, you worked at Hybe. That confirmed it. You were in the same building as him, probably passing by his team without even realizing it.
Unknown Number: sounds rough. u need a raise tbh.
You: RIGHT?? finally someone with common sense.
Unknown Number: goblin says u should go get a snack or smth before u pass out.
You sighed before standing up and walking toward the nearest vending machine.
You: fine. but only bc goblin said so.
Jungwon grinned. He could get used to this nickname.
🫐
You still didn’t know his real name, and he still hadn’t told you what he did for a living. But weirdly enough, you didn’t mind.
One evening, after another long day of work, you flopped onto your bed and grabbed your phone.
You: goblin. tell me something random about u.
Unknown Number: hmm. i like cats.
You: ok well that’s basic. try again.
Unknown Number: wow ok. rude.
Unknown Number: fine. i used to do taekwondo when i was younger.
You: woah. that’s kinda cool. do u still remember any moves?
Unknown Number: maybe. depends. why? u planning to fight me?
You: depends. are u annoying today?
Unknown Number: always.
You rolled your eyes and smiled to yourself.
Unknown Number: ok my turn. tell me something random about u.
You: hmm. i can survive on just ramen and coffee for a whole week.
Unknown Number: that is not something to brag about.
You: shh. survival skills.
Unknown Number: more like self-destruction skills.
You laughed.
It was weird how easy it was to talk to him. Even without knowing what he looked like or what he did, you felt like you could tell him anything.
And somehow, you got the feeling that he felt the same way.
As you continued texting, an idea popped into your head.
You: btw. i’m giving u a nickname.
Unknown Number: oh? should i be concerned?
You: yes. but it’s happening anyway.
You changed his contact name and took a screenshot.
You: congrats. ur now “goblin” in my phone. [image attached]
Goblin: goblin again???? why.
You: idk u give me goblin vibes.
Goblin: i don’t know if i should be honored or offended.
You: both.
Goblin: …fair.
You grinned to yourself. Yeah, “Goblin” suited him just fine.
🫐
It was ridiculous.
You groaned and buried your face in your hands. This was getting out of control and liking someone you’d never seen. Someone you only knew through texts and calls? It was wild. But talking to Goblin had somehow become the best part of your day.
It wasn’t just his humor or the way he matched your sarcasm. It was the way he listened. The way he remembered small details. He never made you feel like you were talking too much, even when you went on long-winded rants about work.
And that was the problem.
Because now, you were catching feelings for someone who was like a ghost. What the fuck?
You sighed and stared at your phone.
You: goblin. tell me something.
Goblin: what kind of something?
You: something about you. anything.
Goblin: hmm. okay. i like late-night drives.
You: oh? fancy. what else?
Goblin: i sing a lot, but only when i’m alone.
You smiled.
You: what if ur actually really good but no one knows?
Goblin: oh, people know.
You paused, eyebrows furrowing.
You: ?? do u perform or smth?
There was a long pause.
Goblin: nah… let’s say i’ve had some practice.
You stared at the screen. You felt an odd feeling. But before you could ask more, he changed the subject.
And this was the pattern.
You’d ask about him, he’d give vague answers. It wasn’t like he was lying. He wasn’t telling you everything.
Meanwhile, Jungwon was losing his mind.
He liked you. Way more than he should.
He knew he should tell you the truth…that he wasn’t just some random guy but an idol, an Enhypen member, someone you admired without realizing he was the same person you texted every day.
But how was he supposed to do that without making you feel betrayed?
It didn’t help that you unknowingly talked about him all the time.
You: work was chaos today. my team had to set up for an engene event, and guess what? i had to carry a life-sized jungwon cutout.
Goblin: oh? lucky u. he’s pretty cool.
You: pls. i had to carry his smug face up three flights of stairs. not fun.
Goblin: bet he was judging u the whole way.
You: EXACTLY. i could hear him in my head like “hurry up, bitch.”
Jungwon nearly choked on his drink.
You: i mean, i love him, but he def gives rich, spoiled cat vibes.
Goblin: wow. tell me how u really feel.
You: LMAO SORRY. no but fr, i respect him a lot. he works so hard.
Goblin: yeah… he really does.
Jungwon smiled to himself.
But the longer he kept the truth from you, the worse it felt.
One day, he was going to have to tell you.
He just didn’t know how.
🫐
You had one job. Just one.
Don’t freak out. Don’t stare. Be professional.
Yet, here you were, standing in the same hallway as enhypen. Your heart was racing.
You hadn’t even meant to run into them. You were trying to deliver some documents to another department when you turned a corner, and bam! almost crashed straight into Jungwon himself.
“Ah, sorry!” You quickly stepped back and bowed.
“It’s okay,” he replied casually.
You kept your head down, gripping the files in your hands. You knew the rules. Staff weren’t supposed to interact too much with idols unless necessary. So, you did what you always did. You kept moving, not making eye contact.
But the moment you were out of sight, you whipped out your phone.
You: BRO WTF I JUST BUMPED INTO ENHYPEN HELP
Goblin: oh? ur alive?
You: BARELY. I almost DIED. I ran straight into Jungwon.
Goblin: sounds like a skill issue tbh.
You: SHUT UP. Anyway, I had to act normal and not fangirl. Pain.
Goblin: so u saw Jungwon up close, huh? thoughts?
You: he’s… really handsome actually like stupidly handsome.
Jungwon, reading the text, blinked.
Wait.
Something clicked in his head.
You just said you bumped into Enhypen.
His eyes narrowed slightly as he thought back to earlier.
A staff member had walked past them, avoiding eye contact. He hadn’t paid much attention, but now that he thought about it…
That had been you.
Jungwon’s breath hitched.
Holy shit.
You were the staff member he had occasionally seen around the company. He’d thought you were pretty before, but it never crossed his mind that you were you.
Now, everything made sense. The things you ranted about, your schedule, and the way you always seemed to know too much about his events.
He grinned to himself.
Goblin: so… if u had to rank the members by looks, where would jungwon be?
You: pls don’t expose me but top 1 actually. his visuals are insane irl.
Jungwon nearly dropped his phone.
🫐
Ever since Jungwon pieced together your identity, he couldn’t help but pay more attention whenever he saw you at the company.
It wasn’t full-on stalking. No, he wasn’t that creepy. But he started noticing little things.
Like how you always ran around, papers in hand, sometimes looking stressed and sometimes smiling at your coworkers. How you always carried an energy drink in the morning, eyes barely open as you dragged yourself through the halls. How you always pulled out your phone at random moments to text him.
And, most of all, how you never once looked at him.
Jungwon found it amusing. You had no idea that the same person you were texting as “Goblin” was now actively looking for you in a crowd.
He casually walked by your usual routes, trying to confirm his suspicions. If you were near, he’d glance discreetly, watching your reactions. You were always professional, always busy, always avoiding unnecessary attention.
But then, one day, he decided to test his theory.
Exhausted, you were standing near the entrance, rubbing your temples as another staff member spoke to you. You were frustrated, probably from another long day of work.
Jungwon, a few steps away, discreetly pulled out his phone and typed.
Goblin: u alive?
A second later, your phone vibrated in your pocket.
Jungwon didn’t even need to guess. The way your entire demeanor changed was all the confirmation he needed. Your tired frown softened. Your lips curled into a small smile.
Bingo.
Now he knew it was 100% you.
Later that night, he picked up his phone again.
Goblin: so, when’s ur funeral?
You: idk but work is definitely killing me first.
Goblin: want me to fight ur boss?
You: pls. throw hands.
Jungwon chuckled to himself. Oh, if only you knew.
🫐
It was late. You sat on your bed, staring at your phone screen. Without thinking too much about it, you opened your messages.
You: Goblin, you up?
A few seconds passed before the typing bubble appeared.
Goblin: For you? Always. What’s up?
You hesitated. You weren’t usually the type to unload your emotions onto others, but something about him…about this…felt safe.
You: I’m just tired. Really tired.
You: Sometimes I feel like no matter how hard I work, no one actually sees it.
You: Like, I put in all this effort, and it’s just… expected. Nothing special. And if I mess up even a little, suddenly it’s a big deal.
You stared at your screen, debating if you should delete the message, but a reply came in before you could.
Goblin: I know exactly how that feels.
That made you pause.
You: You do?
Goblin: Yeah.
Goblin: It’s like… the pressure never stops. People only see the results, not the work behind it. And when you succeed, it’s just “as expected.” But when you fail? That’s when they notice.
That was oddly specific.
You: Exactly. Like, can someone just acknowledge how exhausting it is??
Goblin: You deserve that acknowledgment. Even if no one else says it, I will: You’re doing amazing. And I mean that.
A small smile tugged at your lips despite the frustration.
You: Thanks, Goblin. That means a lot.
Goblin: Anytime.
A comfortable silence settled between you two. Then,
Goblin: Can I tell you something too?
You sat up a little straighter.
You: Of course.
A few seconds passed before he responded.
Goblin: Sometimes I feel like people don’t actually know me. They see what they want to see. They have all these expectations, and I try to meet them, but at the end of the day… I wonder if anyone would still like me if I wasn’t what they expected.
You stared at the message, something about it making your heart ache a little.
You: That sounds lonely.
Goblin: It is. But I guess I’ve gotten used to it.
Your fingers hovered over the screen keyboard before you started typing.
You: Well, I don’t know about them, but I like you. Just as you are. Even if you’re secretly a weirdo who texts strangers in the middle of the night.
There was a pause, then-
Goblin: Wow. I was about to be all deep and emotional, and you just had to call me a weirdo.
You laughed softly.
You: I’m just saying, you’re pretty cool. Whoever you are.
You didn’t realize it, but on the other side of the screen, Jungwon stared at your message for a long time. He felt something that was terrifying.
Because for the first time in a long while, he felt seen. And he wasn’t sure if he was ready for that.
🫐
It’s late at night again, and you’re sitting at home, exhausted after another grueling day at work. Your feet ache, and your body feels heavy, but despite your exhaustion, you’re still awake because of him.
Your phone is open to your messages with Goblin, and you hesitate before typing.
You: be honest. do you ever think about what it’d be like if we met irl?
Jungwon, who was lying in bed, staring at his screen, felt his stomach drop.
Oh no.
Jungwon’s fingers hovered over his screen. His heart pounded as he read your message over and over again. Of course, he had thought about it every single day since realizing who you were. But if you knew who he really was… would you still want to meet?
After a long pause, he finally replied.
Goblin: hmm, maybe… but what if we meet and you’re disappointed?
He winced after sending it. That was a cowardly response, dodging the real issue.
Your reply came almost instantly.
You: lmao please. i bet ur like a middle-aged man with a receding hairline
You: but honestly. i do wonder. it’s weird, right? liking someone u never met??
Jungwon’s stomach flipped. Liking?
Before he could stop himself, his lips curled into a small smile. Did you really mean that? Or was it just a casual way of speaking? He needed to be careful.
Goblin: do u? like me, i mean
The second he sent it, he regretted it. It felt too direct. What if you got weirded out? He considered sending a follow-up message to downplay it, but before he could, his phone vibrated.
You: idk. maybe?
Jungwon stared at the screen, his ears burning. You liked him? But you didn’t even know who he was.
And that was the problem.
He couldn’t keep lying to you.
Taking a deep breath, Jungwon sat up in bed. His fingers moved over his keyboard, hesitating for a long moment before he typed-
Goblin: Hey, can I call you?
🫐
Your phone buzzed in your hand. An incoming call. From Goblin.
Your stomach flipped. He had never called before. Hesitating for a second, you stared at the screen before finally answering.
“Hello?”
There was a pause, then-
“Hey.”
Your breath hitched. His voice was… smooth. Gentle. Familiar in a way. You sat up straighter.
“Wow. So you do have a voice,” you teased trying to mask your nervousness.
He let out a soft chuckle. “Yeah… I figured it was time.”
There was a beat of silence before he spoke again, this time more serious.
“I have to tell you something.”
Your heart pounded. “What is it?”
Jungwon took a deep breath on the other end. His hands clenched into fists, but this was it. No more hiding.
“I know who you are.”
Your brows furrowed. “Huh?”
“we’ve met before. A lot of times.”
“Wait—what are you saying?”
Jungwon hesitated. “I’m not just some random guy.”
“I’m Jungwon.”
Silence.
Your mind raced. Jungwon? Only one Jungwon immediately came to mind, but that was impossible.
“Jungwon…?” Your voice came out weaker than you wanted.
“Yeah.” Another pause. “Yang Jungwon.”
Your breath caught in your throat.
No.
No way.
The leader of Enhypen. The same Jungwon you had bumped into at the company a few times. The same Jungwon whose songs you had on your playlist.
The same Jungwon you had been texting for months.
You felt your whole world tilt.
“You’re kidding.” You whispered.
“I’m not.” His voice was cautious. “I wanted to tell you earlier, but I was scared. I liked talking to you like this. Just as… me.”
Your grip on the phone tightened. You were shocked, confused, and something dangerously close to betrayal.
You had confided in him and talked about your job, talked about him, without knowing it was actually him.
Your mind was spinning.
“I—” You swallowed hard. “I need a minute.”
Jungwon’s heart sank. He could hear the sadness in your voice.
“I get it.” His voice was soft. “Take your time.”
But as the call ended, a heavy silence settled between you.
And Jungwon could only hope he hadn’t just lost you forever.
🫐
You had deleted his contact the second you found out the truth. It was impulsive, but even now, you felt guilty.
You never gave him a chance to explain.
Not that you owed him one. He had lied to you for months. He let you vent about work, about idols, about him. All while hiding that he was the person you were unknowingly talking about. Still, a small part of you wondered what he would have said if you had stayed long enough to hear him out. But it was too late now. You had cut him off, and life had to move on.
So you threw yourself into work, acting like nothing happened. But something felt… different.
For one, your workload, usually overwhelming, had mysteriously lightened. Tasks you had been dreading were suddenly reassigned. Even the small mistakes you made generally earned you a scolding and seemed to go unnoticed.
At first, you thought it was just luck. But then, little things started to stand out.
One evening, after a long day, you dragged yourself into a break room, exhausted. You had been assigned to help with an event that had left you completely drained. As you slumped into a chair, your coworker sighed beside you.
“Lucky you,” she muttered and stretched her arms. “I heard you were supposed to be on cleanup duty tonight, but someone switched it at the last minute.”
You blinked. “Wait… what?”
Your coworker shrugged. “Dunno. Some higher-up pulled some strings, I guess. Maybe you’ve got a guardian angel or something.”
You let out a disbelieving laugh. A guardian angel? Yeah, right.
Meanwhile, Jungwon watched from the shadows, unseen. He knew he had no right to interfere. Not after what he had done, but he couldn’t just stand by and do nothing.
So he helped in the only way he could.
He stayed silent and watched from a distance. Making sure you were okay. Doing whatever he could to ease your burden, even if you never found out.
Because if he couldn’t have you back in his life… this was the least he could do.
🫐
Your phone buzzed on your nightstand just as you were about to go to bed.
You groaned, rolling over to grab it, eyes squinting at the screen. Unknown Number.
For a second, you debated letting it ring, but curiosity got the better of you. With a sigh, you swiped to accept the call and pressed the phone to your ear.
“Hello?”
Silence.
You frowned. “Uh… hello?”
Finally, a voice. “Hey… it’s me.”
You pulled the phone away, staring at the number. It was definitely not saved in your contacts.
“…Sorry, who is this?” you asked cautiously.
A pause. Then, a chuckle. “Did you delete my number that fast?”
Your stomach dropped.
That laugh. That tone.
It hit you all at once.
Your fingers clenched around the phone. “Jungwon.”
Another silence. Then, softly-“Yeah.”
You swallowed, suddenly feeling like you couldn’t breathe.
Your brain scrambled to find something to say, but you could only stare blankly at your ceiling.
“I—What do you want?” Your voice came out smaller than you intended.
Jungwon exhaled as if he had been holding his breath. “I don’t know,” he admitted. “I just… I just needed to hear your voice.”
Your grip on the phone tightened.
“You shouldn’t have called,” you muttered. “You shouldn’t—”
“I know,” he cut in. “I know, and I’m sorry. But I couldn’t help it.”
You shut your eyes. “Jungwon, I—”
“I should’ve told you sooner,” he rushed out. “I should’ve told you a lot of things.”
Your chest ached.
“I knew it was you,” he continued. “I figured it out early. But I didn’t say anything because I was selfish. I didn’t want you to treat me differently. I didn’t want to lose what we had. I’m sorry.”
“I wasn’t pretending,” he said softer now. “Everything I said to you was real.”
You pressed your palm against your forehead. You were overwhelmed.
“I know I don’t deserve it, but…” Jungwon hesitated. “Can I see you?”
Your heart pounded.
Could you face him? After everything?
🫐
You didn’t know why you said yes.
Maybe it was curiosity. Perhaps because you missed the feeling of something that had once felt so real. Or perhaps you weren’t as ready to let him go as you told yourself. So now, here you were. Your jacket covered your pj’s underneath. The air was cold, but not nearly as cold as the tension between you and the boy standing a few feet away. For a moment, neither of you spoke. He was wearing a hoodie, hands tucked into the pockets, eyes looking from you to the ground because he didn’t know where to start.
Seeing him now, after everything, felt surreal.
You swallowed. “So… you changed your number just to call me?”
Jungwon let out a soft laugh. “Yeah.”
You shook your head. “That’s insane.”
“I know.” His lips quirked, but it didn’t quite reach his eyes. “I tried to leave you alone. I did. But I couldn’t stop thinking about you.”
You clenched your jaw, “You lied to me.”
Jungwon’s expression fell. “I know.”
“You let me embarrass myself. You let me tell you things…things I wouldn’t have said if I knew who you were.” Your voice was with frustration and hurt. “Do you have any idea how humiliating that was?”
“I do,” Jungwon said quietly. “And I hate myself for it.”
There was silence again. Then, Jungwon decided to take a slow step closer.
“I never wanted to hurt you,” he said. “I swear. I liked talking to you. I liked that you didn’t see me as an idol. You treated me like a normal person. And for the first time in a long time, I felt like one.”
You exhaled sharply and looked away.
“I know I don’t deserve your forgiveness,” Jungwon continued. “But if any part of you still wants this, still wants me, then I’ll do anything to fix this.”
Your fingers tightened around the sleeves of your jacket.
Do you still want this?
Did you still want him?
You let out a bitter laugh while shaking your head. “You know what’s funny?”
Jungwon stayed quiet.
“I used to think it was ridiculous,” you admitted. “Liking someone you’ve never even met. Someone you only talked to through a screen.” You let out a breath. “But then… it happened.”
Jungwon’s expression softened, but he didn’t say anything.
“I told myself it wasn’t real,” you continued. “That it was just the comfort of having someone to talk to. It was easy to fall for someone when all you had were words and late-night conversations.” You swallowed. “But it felt real. And when everything came crashing down, it hurt like it was real.”
“I didn’t mean to fall for you,” you admitted. “But I did.”
Jungwon’s breath hitched. “You…”
“I liked you,” you said firmly this time. “I liked Goblin. Not Jungwon, not an idol. Just you.”
His hands twitched like he wanted to reach for you, but he held himself back.
“I ruined it,” he murmured. “Didn’t I?”
You hesitated. “I don’t know.”
It was the truth.
Jungwon was bracing himself for the worst.
You sighed and looked down at your feet. “I forgive you.”
He sucked in a breath. “You do?”
You nodded, “But…”
The relief that had started to settle in his features quickly faded.
“I want to take it slow,” you said carefully. “I want to learn more about you. You, not just the person I texted late at night.” You exhaled. “And I don’t know what to do, Jungwon. Even just meeting you here feels like I’m walking on thin ice.”
Jungwon pressed his lips together. He understood.
“If anyone finds out…” you hesitated as you glanced around as if someone could be listening. “I could lose my job. You could ruin everything you’ve worked for.”
“I know,” he murmured.
You let out a small, breathy laugh, “Then why are you even here?”
“Because you’re worth the risk.”
Your heart stuttered.
“I don’t want to let you go,” he said. “But I also don’t want to rush you. If you want to take it slow, we will.” He smiled. “I can wait. I mean, we already spent months texting. I think I can handle a little more patience.”
You rolled your eyes, but a small smile tugged at your lips.
“Okay,” you said softly. “Then let’s take it slow
🫐
Months Later
You were swamped with work, running from one task to another, barely catching a break. The office was hectic as usual, with staff members moving in and out, handling schedules, coordinating events, and making sure everything for the idols ran smoothly. You had settled into a routine again, though now and then, you’d catch yourself glancing at your phone, wondering if he would first text.
Your relationship with Jungwon had been… complicated. Ever since that night, you had both taken slow but careful texts, occasional calls, and a few fleeting encounters in the company's hallways. He was still an idol, and you were still a staff member. Even though no one knew about the two of you, there was always a risk.
As you finished organizing some paperwork, your phone vibrated in your pocket.
Goblin: Come outside.
Your brows furrowed.
You: I’m working??
Goblin: Just for a second.
You sighed. But curiosity got the best of you, and you slipped out of the office, making your way toward the quieter side of the building. As soon as you stepped outside, you spotted him. Jungwon, standing near one of the company vans, dressed in casual clothes, a cap pulled low over his face. Even with his attempt to stay hidden, you could still recognize him.`
“What are you doing here?” you asked, crossing your arms.
Jungwon smiled, “I wanted to see you.”
You rolled your eyes. “We texted last night.”
“Yeah, but that’s not the same,” he replied smoothly. “And I figured you could use a little break.”
You sighed. “Jungwon—”
Before you could argue, he held up a small bag. “I got you coffee.”
You blinked. “What?”
“And a snack.” He grinned, holding it out to you. “Figured you’d be too busy to get one yourself.”
You took the coffee from his hands, fingers brushing his for a fleeting second. “…Thanks, Goblin.”
Jungwon smirked. “You really won’t change that nickname, huh?”
“Nope,” you said and took a sip.
He huffed out a laugh.
You gave him a look. “What? You don’t like it?”
Jungwon stepped closer. “I don’t hate it,” he admitted before he leaned in and pressed a quick kiss to your mouth.
You barely had time to process it before he pulled away, grinning. “But I’d rather you call me something else.”
Your brain is short-circuited. “Like what?”
He shrugged, walking away with a smug face. “I don’t know. Maybe boyfriend?”
Your face burned as you gaped at him. “Jungwon!”
He only laughed, waving over his shoulder. “See you later, pretty.”
And just like that, he left you standing there, speechless.
You stared after him, then scoffed to yourself with a small smile.
“Guess ‘Goblin’ wasn’t so bad after all.”
1K notes · View notes
sttoru · 2 years ago
Text
𝐉𝐔𝐒𝐓 𝐋𝐄𝐓 𝐌𝐄 𝐋𝐎𝐕𝐄 𝐘𝐎𝐔.
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⟣ sypnosis. you had been in your first ever relationship with suguru for a couple months now. neither of you have taken your relationship to the next level; suguru was extremely patient and never brought the topic of sex up until you one day decide you were ready.
⟣ note. first fic for my event :3 i spent way too much time on this fic so it turned out very detailed, long, romantic and fluffy. i hope you all enjoy and appreciate it teehee. this post contains smut, proceed at own risk ! wc: around 6.1k
⟣ tags. soft dom!geto suguru x virgin!female reader. fluff + smut. slow burn. age gap (reader 20-ish, suguru around 29/30), little talks about insecurity, loss of virginity, breast play, edging, teasing, fingering, lots of praise, dirty talk, size difference!, p in v — unprotected (dont b like reader and use protection please), creampie, aftercare, suguru’s really romantic and just a softie for u, suguru being a good ‘dad’ to mimiko and nanako and teeny tiny bits of him secretly being a pervert.
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never in a million years had suguru expected his girlfriend to be so upfront about such a big, personal decision. the thought of having you say those words had never crossed his mind.
“can you repeat that for me, sweetheart?”
could you blame him for asking you to clarify the words you’ve uttered? that man has seen you as an oblivious and innocent woman ever since the start of your relationship. of course, unbeknownst to him, your thoughts were anything but that.
you may be a virgin, but your mind was a place for the most lewd and nasty thoughts. it’s just that you’ve been scared of being intimate with a man—it’s frightening, especially when having heard the many online stories about how badly it could hurt. some say that such descriptions were over exaggerating, however your inexperience still lead you to believe everything you’ve read about the topic.
and then you started dating an older man named suguru. you’ve met him by chance at a mall in kyoto and he was the first one who approached the other. you remember how suguru politely asked you for some advice regarding what type of presents he should get for ‘two teenage girls’. of course, you agreed to helping him out and that’s how you two eventually ended up brainstorming about possible ideas in a cozy café.
once seated, chosen drinks in both your hands, you asked the man whether the gifts were meant for his daughters. somehow, that’s the first connection the neurones in your brain had made once suguru told you about the two teenagers he was picking out presents for.
you remember it vividly; the sweet, gentle sound of the laughter that accounted as your answer, the eyes of the then stranger looking rather nostalgic as they stared into the liquid in his cup. suguru responded vaguely; “i guess you could say that, yes.”
that little ‘date’—if you could call it that—ended on a wholesome note. suguru thanked you for your time and made sure that you safely got into the train you needed to take home. he did want to offer you a car ride, however he kept that question to himself since he knew that no woman would voluntarily agree to be taken home by a stranger. even if suguru had the purest of intentions.
there were a couple more dates that followed after that one; all where you both gradually got to know each other better. you’ve found out so much about suguru—the details about his own life being both fascinating and sad at the same time. likewise, suguru had also learned much about you. he always shows great interest in what you tell him, even if it’s a minuscule detail. he remembers it all as well—a feature which caused you to feel funny things in your stomach.
you realised you were catching feelings for that mysterious yet sweet and loving man; it was inevitable. the way he makes you giggle, his respectful and easygoing manner of speaking, the slight touches you two shared on accident.. all of it added to your little crush.
however, you didn’t actually think suguru was falling for you too. you only met up for a few times, plus, you seem out of his league—both due to your age gap and difference in the things you’re pursuing at the time. you were in college, trying to get your degree whilst he already had a job as a powerful leader of an organisation and was trying to achieve one of many goals with them.
there’s not a chance he’d like you, right?
wrong. you were confessed to a couple weeks after your first meeting and have been in a relationship for over 4 months now. it still felt like a dream; having your first boyfriend be such a gentleman. it truly felt like you already met the love of your life whenever he was near.
suguru’s been nothing but sweet and caring to you, has never asked you to engage in any sexual activities nor even ever dared to touch you in places you haven’t consented to. the furthest you’ve gone in terms of intimacy in those four months, were make-out sessions. just some tongue action here and there—adding sprinkles of neck kisses and hickeys.
there were times where you wanted to let things escalate, however you couldn’t bring it upon yourself to ask your lover. suguru wasn’t the person to decide your feelings for you either—if there was no verbal consent coming from your lips, he’s not going any further. even if he wanted to as well.
you were grateful that suguru was that willing to wait for you, no matter how long it might take. not only were you anxious of the possible pain the sex would bring, but it was partially due to the fact that your lover was much more experienced in that field.
what if you were lacking? what if it wasn’t satisfactory enough for him and he’d eventually leave you for it? it’s obvious that suguru wasn’t the type of man to actually do that, however you couldn’t stop the many possibilities from running free in your brain.
your change of mind was rather spontaneous; it was today when you suddenly came up with your final decision. you were staying over at suguru’s, the sun was out and he was sitting on his balcony, reading a book whilst sipping on his coffee. what caught your eye was his bare back and the muscles which were on display to you.
suguru was shirtless and the seams of light were making his skin glisten—the view making your own body hot and bothered. you bit your lip and approached your boyfriend from behind, wrapping your arms around his shoulders before kissing his neck. that skin-to-skin contact made you sure of your decision; you needed him. in more ways than one.
that’s how you ended up saying what you said. the statement left suguru baffled since you uttered it in his ear out of the blue. he couldn’t deny one thing however; the idea certainly did send a shiver of excitement down his spine.
“i said,” you repeat with a little mischievous grin, leaning in closer to your lover once he turned around to face you properly—as if searching for any hints that your words were indeed not his imagination, “i wanna lose my virginity to you.”
it wasn’t. you actually said it—the words that would take your relationship a step further. although, suguru couldn’t help but wonder where your sudden decision came from. his hands found their way to yours and he held onto them like they were two delicate flowers.
“i’m happy to hear that, though i’m curious,” your lover starts off carefully as he places chaste yet soft kisses on your palms, “why so sudden?”
you shrug nonchalantly like you didn’t feel that twinge of nervousness in the back of your mind as you felt suguru’s lips on your skin. ‘it really was happening now, was it?’—that kind of feeling was the cause of your subtle anxiousness.
“well, ehh— you just looked good.. sitting there.. i guess.” you mumble, voice trailing off in embarrassment whilst your eyes darted around the balcony in attempt to avoid suguru’s gaze. your flustered expression and adorable confession makes him laugh gently. it was not a mocking laugh at all—more of an amused one;
“just when i thought you couldn’t get any cuter..” the long-haired man muses, the locks of his bangs grazing ever so slightly against your hands as he keeps holding them, “you never fail to surprise me, do you know that?”
suguru had a way with words that made you weak in the knees. or maybe it’s simply because he’s shirtless and kissing your palms so romantically. you don’t know which one it was.
“but, love,” suguru continues carefully as he stands up, your eyes following his as he towers over you, “are you a hundred percent sure? i don’t want to do anything you aren’t comf—“
“yes.” your answer cut your boyfriend off and he’s left in shock once more. your eyes were filled with determination, yet the faint glint of nervousness in them didn’t escape suguru’s sight. you’ve given your verbal consent and are even the first one to suggest the idea— what more could he ask of you?
there hung a silence between you two, the breeze blowing through suguru’s dark locks making him look even more majestic than he already was. you had no doubt about it; today was going to be the day. it had to be.
“then, if you’d let me have this,” his low voice sounded more sensual than it had ever been as his hand found its place on your cheek, fingertips rubbing against your ear, thumb softly pressing onto your skin—
a slow and romantic kiss followed straight afterwards. it had caught you slightly off guard, even when knowing fully well that this was what you were longing for.
his lips moved in tandem against yours, the soft touch making you feel certain emotions that you hadn’t even thought existed. this man whom you called your lover had never been unable to expose you to new sensations. and soon, he’ll grant you another one. a much pleasurable one.
one arm circled your waist, the other held up, hand on the back of your head to deepen the passion-filled kiss you shared. his lips parted your lightly trembling ones, the tips of your tongues attentively rubbing against one another as if to test the waters; was it fine to go further? are we actually doing this?
you were. it was set in stone as your throat formed soft noises of satisfaction, shaky breaths being exchanged by the two lovers on the balcony—not one of you realising that the weather was changing in the background. the sun was setting, creating the perfect mood for the situation as you were still engrossed by each other’s moves and touches.
it was only for the sake of catching your breath that you had pulled away. your cheeks felt hot, as did your entire body which was still pressed against suguru’s—chest to chest. the proximity was one you both had enjoyed many moments before, however this instant was unlike any other. you both knew as you stared at each other in silence, your quick breaths doing the talking instead.
“will you let me..” the voice of which you have grown to adore spoke to you, the owner grasping your attention once more by holding onto your hand. suguru’s fingers smoothly slid across your skin until they found the puzzle they were meant to complete—that being the gaps between your own fingers. once your hands were tightly intertwined, the man finishes his sentence;
“will you let me love you?”
his face was still close to yours as he uttered those beautiful words to you, warm breath lightly fanning the thin strands of hair on your cheeks to the side, lips subconsciously trying to brush against yours once more. but, they could wait. they could wait until the agreement leaves your mouth.
“of course.” the answer escapes before you could even register it properly. this makes suguru smile against your lips as he captured them in another sweet kiss. he muttered a small ‘thank you’ and then swept your legs off the floor—strong arms placed under your thighs to hold you up against his body whilst the hungry kisses continue.
suguru doesn’t know how he got there; carrying you over to his bed, settling you down onto the soft mattress, his body caging yours underneath him, eyes fluttering over every detail of your exposed skin. he hadn’t had you like this ever before; he hadn’t had you in his bed for a reason as sinful as this, only ever for cuddles or sleep.
“you’re beautiful.” the dark-haired man whispers as he carefully takes off the clothing covering your figure—the gorgeous skin his hands still have yet to explore. suguru can’t remember the last time he has treated anyone like this; like a treasure he’s had the honour to find and keep to himself. there hasn’t been a single woman in his life that he’s cared for this much—you’re the only one capable of mellowing him and his heart.
“stunning,” another compliment; another breath spent to praise you. your lover’s fingers teased the edges of your bra, lips kissing down your collarbone and towards the centre of your chest—each touch being done with precision. your bra became undone a second later and you let the straps fall of your arms, all the way until your breasts were fully revealed.
suguru’s breath hitches, mouth forming more saliva than in any previous instants, the liquid being pushed down his throat with a gulp. you didn’t have the chance to feel conscious of yourself in a moment like this; the dim light of the bedside lamp shone on suguru’s face, his lips glistening with a mixture of your saliva whilst his gaze was lingering on the new sight in front of him—he was utterly obsessed.
“may i?” his hands were already reaching out for the plump flesh and they came in touch once you nodded shyly. his palms were warm as they kneaded your breasts and his fingers brushed against your nipples, which made you whimper from how sensitive they were now that someone else has finally touched them.
suguru took notice of your reaction and put pressure on both small buds once again, thumbs rubbing your areolas in circular motions, “that good, princess?”
“mhmm— y-yes,” you mutter through a moan. your body was pushed further onto the mattress as your lover put more of his weight on you, your entire chest area getting covered by licks and kisses, slow and deliberate ones that left you yearning for more. suguru’s eyes gazed up at yours for consent once his parted lips hovered just above your sensitive nipples, his breath on them alone making you squirm already.
with another nod, suguru wasted no time taking one nipple into his warm mouth—wetting it with his saliva as his tongue slid around the area. his long fingers squeezed, twisted and pulled on your other nipple to give you both stimulations at once.
“mm, so good.” his muffled voice caused goosebumps to appear on your skin. suguru slowly lets his lips travel across your tits, sucking on them, even kissing down the curves until he reaches your torso. he gives that area the same amount of love and attention whilst your fingers were tangled around his smooth, long hair. suguru clearly seemed to enjoy the sensations; he let out small moans and hums against your bare skin to indicate that you should continue playing and tugging at his locks.
his tongue abruptly came to a stop right above the waistline of your panties—the barrier he was about to reach past for the first time. the hesitation was visible in his body language, however his fingers eventually tugged at the fabric, preparing to take it off.
your heart was beating out of your chest as you watched suguru slowly pull the last piece of cloth away. your thighs pressed together on instinct, stopping your panties from exposing your bare cunt.
“should i stop?” suguru asks with a raised eyebrow, fingers pulling away from your underwear now that he’s seen you close your legs. you didn’t want him to stop—it’s just the nerves that made your body move on its own command;
“please— no,” you shake your head, biting your lip as you swallowed your own saliva out of pure desire. you craved him now that it’s come this far, “need you. need you so bad, suguru.”
those words caused suguru’s brain to shut down. any irrelevant thoughts were thrown out of the window; the only thing his mind was telling him to do, was to take care of your needs. your body was laid out on his bed—trusting eyes looking up at his in anticipation, pretty hands grasping onto his sheets like it’d calm you down.
“i’m all yours, sweetheart.” suguru sighs, fingertips slightly shaking as he pulls your panties down to your ankles, eyes pausing on the revelation. to say that suguru was simply rendered speechless, was an understatement. that man was on the verge of letting loose of any self-control and just dive his face right between your thighs, eating you out like he’s fantasised of doing for a while now.
“fuck.” your boyfriend closed his eyes for a moment to collect himself before opening them to smile down at you—the handsome smile that was one of the many reasons you fell in love with him, “i’ll be careful. i promise.”
naturally, you nodded along. you’ve built up enough trust between one another during the past few months to let yourself be vulnerable in front of him. the palm of his hands patted your thighs slightly before spreading them apart, once again showing your glistening folds, a slight wetness to them from your own arousal.
suguru couldn’t help but lick his lips at the sight. he’d already have devoured your dripping cunt if it wasn’t for his self-control. but, it was your first time. he couldn’t rush into things just yet.
“thank you, baby.” the dark-haired man whispered under his breath. he was showing his gratitude for the sight you allowed him to see—a sight only he had ever seen before. the only man to be able to witness the beauty before him. that fact alone made his eyes darken in lust ever so slightly.
his fingers carefully slid across your vulva, your bodily fluid coating the skin which makes him shiver and his fingers get bolder. the cute sounds that filled his ears were only making this even better for him.
the way your hips bucked up slightly into his touch—just asking for suguru to take you right then and there—was driving him insane. every vein in his body felt like it could pop with how much he was restraining his own self from acting out of line. his finger easily slid into the little hole and suguru almost couldn’t believe it; your pussy was clamping down on his finger, your insides tightly wrapped around him to the point that even he wouldn’t know if his dick would fit in.
“hnnngh, suguru, please— wan’ your cock already,” that dirty sounding sentence was one he didn’t expect to hear from a virgin. it made him shake his head with a small, delighted chuckle; you really never failed to surprise him.
“i know you do,” suguru purrs, pressing kisses against the curves of your tits whilst another finger of his joined to stretch your pussy out properly, “but i need to prep you enough if you wanna take my cock. can you be patient for me, sweetheart?”
“m’kay. gonna try..” his fingers pumped in and out of you, the feeling of them curling up deep inside you made your walls squeeze against them. you’ve played with yourself before, of course, however it was then that you discovered that nothing could ever compare to the real thing: suguru’s long and slightly girthy fingers.
just when you thought that it couldn’t get any better, you felt a third finger—not inside you--but on your clit, rubbing the small bundle of nerves like you could’ve never done to yourself. suguru was so precise and exact with his actions which showed his experience. that’s another reason of why you’ve put all your trust in him. getting your virginity taken by a sweet, older and experienced man was probably ten times better than losing it to any guy your age, who were probably only out for sex.
suguru was there to make love to you.
your back arched once you felt suguru’s fingers increase their pace, the wet and squelchy sounds echoing through the room as they got louder the more your pussy got played with, his thumb almost overstimulating your clit to the point of release already—that’s how superb your lover’s hand movements were.
“no, no. can’t have you cum on my fingers like that.” you whine once you felt suguru take his fingers back the same moment you were about to reach your first orgasm by someone else’s hands. the older man smirks at this and kisses you on the lips, pulling away slowly with your bottom lip between his teeth, letting it lightly flop back into place as he lets go; “i wanna have you cum together with me, okay?”
you couldn’t refuse such a romantic request, thus you nod. suguru smiles back at you once more before his hands move to take off his sweatpants, tossing the piece of clothing to the side. your eyes widened as you were propped on your elbows, gaze lingering on the massive bulge formed at the crotch area, his boxers not hiding much of the shape.
once the underwear was off as well—that’s when you realised that your underlying anxiousness was not for nothing. suguru’s cock sprung free, it was slightly curved near his pink tip, drops of pre-cum flowing down the length. you haven’t ever seen a dick in real life, only ever on the internet, so this had left you stunned. you didn’t know what the average size was for a man, but there’s one thing you knew for sure: suguru was definitely way above the average size.
“cat got your tongue, princess?” he teased, his hand absentmindedly pumping his cock to the sight of your naked body underneath him. suguru didn’t even know that he started doing that in front of you; it was out of pure instinct. he couldn’t hide the excitement in his body, his shaft twitching in his hand as if it desperately wanted to feel your tight cunt around it.
“uhm, s-suguru..” you stammer a bit, biting your lip as your eyes followed his hand motions which got faster once your sweet voice called out to him. something about you looking a tad bit intimidated by his size made him want to destroy your insides to mush—have you beg him to fuck you as he bullies his whole length into your poor, small cunt.
“i know, i know..” suguru reassures you, free hand giving you a few consoling head pats, “i’ll try to make it as less painful as possible, okay?”
you hum and watch how your lover settles between your legs, spreading them enough to kneel before you, upper body bending forward to place soft pecks on your forehead; he was encouraging and preparing you more in his own way.
your arms instantly wrapped around his back, sweaty palms set underneath his shoulder blades—you took a deep breath and closed your eyes, just waiting on that moment. that feeling you’ve been craving, yet also have been avoiding.
you waited for a bit, however the only sounds heard and sensations felt were the slight dent in the mattress near one side of your body, the bed creaking faintly. suguru was leaning on side of his body, one arm stretched out to open a drawer, apparently searching for a condom.
once you realised what he was doing, you shook your head and tapped his back twice to regain suguru’s attention. his gaze immediately flickered over to yours and his head tilted to the side in curiosity; “i want the full experience—no condom, please.”
his eyes widened at the request. you seemed to be dead serious, eyes glinting determinedly, lips forming a little pout— it was impossible to refuse you, although suguru knew that he had to play the role of the older, more wise and experienced lover in the back of his mind.
he parted his lips to list off the reasons why you should let him use a condom, yet the words died on his tongue. you were impossible to say ‘no’ to. not when you’re looking up at him with those pretty eyes.
“whatever princess wants, princess gets.”
suguru prodded your entrance with the fat head of his cock, circling the hole and wetting it more by using a mixture of his pre-cum and your own arousal. you took another deep breath and tried your best to hold tightly onto your boyfriend, arms wrapped tightly around his back with your face nuzzled in the crook of his neck—bracing for impact.
“tell me if it hurts too much,” suguru whispers in your ear, leaving one last kiss on your temples before pushing his hips forward, folds stretching out and apart to allow his cock through and into your pussy.
did it hurt like you expected? yes. it most certainly did. maybe even worse than you were prepared for.
“fuck— nhhh, fuckfuckfuck!” you hiss whilst your nails dig into the skin of suguru’s back, probably leaving red marks because of how much you’re clinging onto him—like your life depened on it. that’s quite literally what it felt like to you; body being forced to part and make way for suguru inside you, pussy feeling like it was burning by how big of a stretch it was to fit him in—if he actually would be able to push all of his inches into your tight hole.
“sshh, shh, it’s okay, try to relax for me, yeah?” your lover comforts you the best he could, stilling his movements for a couple seconds before gently slipping his cock further into you. it pained him to see the discomfort written over your face, however you hadn’t made any clear signs of wanting this to come to a halt. in fact, you were encouraging him to continue whenever he stopped at any indication of hurt.
“i can take it.. p-promise,” you manage to moan out. suguru breathed in deeply at your words and nodded, kissing your lips in hopes to distract you from any pain you’re feeling, “you’re too good to me, sweetheart. really.”
both of you exhaled deeply as suguru finally bottomed out, a long minute of reassurance and pushing now behind your back. your eyes had watered up a little, chest heaving as you tried to accommodate to the new feeling inside of you.
“take your time.” suguru utters gently, voice sultry and sweet whenever its directed at you. his lips graze against your cheeks, smothering the area with pecks to take your mind off anything else. the locks of black hair tickle your chin and nose, the hairtie that usually kept a good chunk of his hair in a bun now out of sight.
suguru hadn’t taken anyone’s virginity before and that’s what also made this opportunity special to him. he didn’t know how to thank you with words, so he showed his gratitude throughout his actions; lips kissing your shiny tears away, moving across your face to your forehead and eventually to your own round lips which had formed a cute pout.
you could feel suguru smile against your mouth, his tongue gently tracing the outline of your lips whilst mumbling words of affection and praise; “you’re taking it so well, baby. such a good girl for me— love you so much.”
you giggled lightly at your lover’s appreciative remarks, focusing on returning the kiss instead of the tingling feeling in your lower body. you pulled away after a bit and looked up at him with nothing but pure adoration; “i love you too, suguru.”
if suguru had the ability to freeze time, he’d want to do it during this moment, just to relive this bit over and over. he’s sure that this exact instant will be engraved into his memory for the many years to come.
and once you’ve given him the green light to move, he did it with caution, slowly but surely. his hips moved back and then forwards, girthy cock dragging along your walls at a leisurely pace, but just enough to make your pain transform into pleasure.
suguru’s big hands were placed on your hips, sometimes they’d leave their position to cup your chin and make you face him. he doesn’t want you to look away from his eyes; he’ll think you don’t like this if you do. besides, the thing he loves most about being in the missionary position, is that he’s able to hear how good he’s making you feel whilst looking into your eyes to see your face scrunch up in satisfaction. it’s so romantic and perfect. just like you.
“my little princess is so pretty.” suguru sighs in content and kisses your tears away, thrusting into your tight cunt in a comfortable pace—not too fast but not too slow, “the way you take my cock and still manage to look beautiful while doing it— you’re incredible.”
if the physical pleasure wasn’t enough, his added commentary would certainly be. you moan and whimper phrases that sound like his name over and over again; you didn’t know what else to say as your mind was foggy with the amazing sensations your body was experiencing for the first time. that was fine with suguru since all he wants was to see you enjoy yourself—this moment was for you. everything he did was for you—every thrust, every kiss, every touch.
“nhhg, too good, so good!” you mewl and leave more scratch marks across suguru’s back, ones which he didn’t mind at all. it only served as further proof of this special moment. the tip of his cock kissed the deepest parts of your insides, puffy folds parted widely to make room for more of his length until it felt like he actually was balls deep.
“mhm—you’re, haah, tight..” the once calm and collected man seemed to let loose of himself the more he felt your cunt swallow him all the way, gripping onto his dick as if you didn’t want to ever let go. suguru grunts and moves down to leave a couple hickeys across your neck, hips non-stop pushing against yours, “don’t think i can last long—fuck, yeah—you feel amazing, baby.”
your eyes roll back as the pleasure seems to build up in your stomach as well. it felt like a coil that threatened to snap at any moment and it’d release another immense wave of pleasure upon breaking. your body was on fire, sweaty and hot, just like suguru’s.
“can you cum with me, princess? can you wait and hold on for me?” he asks, and the questions sound impossible, however you could at least try your best to fulfil his desires. you’d also want nothing more than to reach your peak together with the man you loved.
“okay—mmhh—together.” you nod and your body tenses up, legs subconsciously moving to wrap around suguru’s waist, heels of your feet simultaneously tapping against his lower back along with his hip movements. you didn’t know how much longer you could hold out for as your breathing patterns changes, whiney gasps and choked up moans escaping the back of your throat as your clit bumps against his pelvis over and over.
“almost, almost—“ suguru curses through gritted teeth, his jaw clenching while yours did the opposite. your body rocked back and forth and the bed felt like it was shaking along as well. you could tell by the way suguru’s hips rolled against yours that he was close—his eyebrows were furrowed, eyes half-lidded but not closed to still hold contact with yours and his hands clutched onto your waist. all indications of his nearing climax.
“mnph, gonna cum— shit, shit, shit, i’m gonna cum—“ suguru swears under his breath a couple times more before snapping back into reality at the last few seconds. he realised once again that he didn’t have a condom on, so his first rational thought was to pull out and finish himself outside of your body.
you were also nearing your own orgasm, not thinking rationally due to the intensity of the moment, any other thoughts except for the man on top of you were thrown out of the window. you felt suguru try to pull his twitching and throbbing cock out before it could spurt its cum inside of your dripping cunt.
you whined and shook your head, pulling suguru in for a deep kiss while tightening the grasp your legs had around his hips; “w-want to feel you cum in me— want you to fill me up while i finish too.”
suguru’s breath caught in his throat, almost choking on his own saliva from your bold requests. his only rational thought instantly vanished from his mind, now all that’s left was pure love, pleasure and desire. the mental image of his cum spilling and filling your pussy to the brim drove him to the edge.
“all yours, i’m going to give it all to you, princess, yeah? fuck !” both of you relinquished in the feeling of bliss, the warmth and build up reaching its designated ending— the expected waves of pleasure washing over you both. series of soft moans, whimpers and groans filled the room as your pussy was flooded with lots of hot cum.
it was like suguru hadn’t came in years—that’s how incredible that orgasm was experienced by the dark-haired male. the same thing goes for you; your legs were shaking, hips squirming up in aftershocks as you squeezed down on suguru’s cock, quite literally milking him dry of every drop.
“nhh, haah— suguru, love,” your tired and powerless whispers caught his attention immediately. your trembling hand held onto his cheek in attempt to make him look at you. suguru’s fingers curled around your wrist, turning your hand away from his face and to the side so he’ll have access to your palm. his lips left a ticklish trail of pecks on them until his mouth found its home: your lips.
the two of you exchanged deep, exhausted breaths, your boyfriend eventually pulling out and rolling onto his side to cradle you into his arms—hand placed on the back of your head to rest your body against his chest. the following seconds were spent cuddling as you tried to regain composure.
“you were amazing.” suguru sighs, chin resting on top of your head whilst his hand rubbed your bare back in comfort, “are you okay, sweetheart? nothing feeling off or anything of that sorts?”
you shake your head and snuggle up against your lover, content with how things are right now. the afterglow of your little session—of your first time, made you happier than ever. you couldn’t believe it’d feel this good. maybe it’s due to the one you’ve lost your virginity to.
“i’m okay.” you mumble and lift your head up to look suguru in the eyes, faces only inches away from each other. there were no words in the dictionary that could describe how you two felt. the closest word to explain it would be flawless.
“i’m glad, baby. thank you for trusting me.” suguru flashes you a small smile and strokes your head. you stay like that, bodies intertwined in a deep and comfortable hug, whispers of sweet nothings filling your ears and subtle gestures of love making you feel secure.
a couple minutes later and suguru noticed how you started to doze off. he chuckled to himself before pulling away from your hug and standing up, only to have you pout and complain about the loss of warmth.
“i’m just going to clean you up, love.” the soft-spoken man utters to you, laughing quietly at the adorable state you were in at the moment. you were so dependent on him.
“should i prepare us a warm, relaxing bubble bath as well?” he asks, squatting down near the edge of his bed and taking your hands in his, maintaining eye contact as per usual.
“that’d be nice.” you nod and feel your eyelids close slowly, “can’t promise i won’t fall asleep, though.”
suguru lets out a soft exhale through his nose, corner of his lips curling upwards at your little comment. he couldn’t believe he ended up dating such an unbelievably wonderful girl. it’s a blessing in his life of curses.
“i’ll make sure to at least clean you up if you do fall asleep, don’t worry. you’re safe with me.”
you were sure he was an angel sent down from heaven. it was more than clear to you—even if it may not be to many others out there.
“thank you, suguru.” you murmur as your body relaxes into the soft mattress, “i love you.”
“i love you too. more than you could imagine.”
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6K notes · View notes
bucketbueckers · 5 months ago
Text
I'D RATHER PRETEND
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CHAPTER TWO
tags: @angryflowerwitch @avvwritesstufff @melpthatsme @rebecca-woso @bueckersg1rl @l0verl4ne @clouded-whispers @dolliest-thena @katemartinlvr @numberonepartyanth3m @glamourdaya | lmk if you want to be added! wc: 7.6k notes: check masterlist for content warnings! honestly a pretty lowkey chap but it's strictly business 🧐 thank you for the love on chapter 1 🫶 i fear this chap and the next couple of parts are slow-ish but i've reread this literally a million times and im sick of it so what do i actually know. no beta we die like brian thompson
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'Bueckers and Kennedy, Two Dynasties, Both Alike in Dignity'
College basketball fans are excited for what appears to be the end of the "Tess Kennedy Destruction Tour." After a quiet few days, the South Carolinian guard took to social media where she shared a photo of her and a faceless individual meeting for coffee. The Instagram story was captioned "and a new day will bring about the dawn," a lyric from Frank Ocean's "Sierra Leone." Supporters interpreted this as Kennedy's recovery journey taking a positive turn, but the song lyric was not the star of the show.
Fans were quick to point out the identity of the individual was not as hidden as it seemed. Kennedy's companion was wearing two notable necklaces - one with a silver cross and one with a studded #5. The phone case in camera was also purple with a wallet attached to the back. One commenter pointed out there was a University of Connecticut student ID poking out, and after review, we believe that much is true.
Early speculation declared Kennedy's friend was none other than Paige Bueckers, the star point guard for the University of Connecticut Huskies. Then, roughly an hour after Kennedy's post, Bueckers herself took to her Instagram where she shared a photo of her holding an icepack to someone's left knee. Both Bueckers and the mystery individual are faceless; however, fans noted Bueckers's companion was wearing a silver bracelet with familiar charms and a #25, Kennedy's jersey number.
All of the signs point to Bueckers and Kennedy spending time together, although nothing has been confirmed officially. One fan noted that Bueckers tore her own ACL the year prior, believing that Bueckers flew out to South Carolina to lend a supportive hand to Kennedy amidst her own recovery and hardships. Whether or not this is simply two friends rehabbing together or the most obvious soft launch in basketball history, sports fans are united on two things: Tess Kennedy is beginning to take her recovery seriously, and Paige Bueckers might just be the guardian angel people were calling for.
-Penelope Lancaster, Bleacher Report
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MAY 3, 2023
“So, lemme get this straight.”
Tess hums around a mouthful of Chipotle, feeling lighter than she has in weeks. Kamilla and Bree returned to their apartment roughly a half hour earlier and immediately put Tess on the hot seat. Once she made it through her countless apologies and explanations with minimal interruptions, she gave Kam and Bree the green light to ask their questions, and it seemed as though they had plenty.
Kam raises her fingers as she lists off the recent happenings of Tess’s life. “Because you went off a bender–” Tess frowns at the way it’s phrased, “–Amaya is forcing you into mandatory PT, therapy, and a shit ton of PR. Honestly, about fucking time.” Bree snorts, although some of the worry leaves her body. “If all it took was tough love, I woulda been meaner to your ass a month ago.”
“Don’t think it would have had the intended effect,” Tess concedes thoughtfully. She pushes around her rice and chicken, shoveling a pepper in her mouth. “I wasn’t really in a listening mood back then.”
Bree raises a brow. “And you were today?”
The injured guard shrugs a shoulder. “Well, when your manager tells you that your brand deals are about to cut their contracts, and you’re at risk for losing your basketball scholarship for behavior and academic reasons, and you’re slowly killing yourself…that kind of puts things into perspective.”
Kamilla nods solemnly. “And the Paige situation.”
Tess almost flushes under their scrutinizing gaze. She hasn’t forgotten. She has Paige’s receipt tucked into the pocket of her pants, unwilling to throw it away but also feeling weirdly vulnerable for wanting to keep it. It wasn’t a huge gesture by any means. Paige doing PT with her was objectively more intimate than buying her lunch, but the mere idea of Paige saying goodbye to her and sitting in an Uber trying to figure out what Tess likes in her Chipotle bowl is just fucking insane. “Guess I’m not single anymore…so, yay?”
“You’re taking this a lot better than I expected,” Kamilla admits hesitantly. Tess clocks the concern in her expression, like she’s thinking about her next step if she wakes up tomorrow and Tess is back to her old ways. That thought alone makes guilt squeeze at Tess’s heart.
Tess sighs. “It was like a wake up call,” she says after a moment. “Like those stupid ice baths Coach makes us do in recovery.” Kamilla and Bree crack a small smile at the joke. “To me, it was just easier to self-destruct than to let something else kill me. Basketball’s more than a sport to me – it’s my purpose, right? So after I heard I might not be able to play again, I just…let myself sink. And, Christ, people were so cruel online.” Tess huffs out something like a laugh, her throat tight with pain. “It’s funny ‘cause it never bothered me before, but… I just wanted to forget. I wanted them to hurt like I hurt. It was too easy to give into that.” The silence rings out in the living room as Tess searches for her next words. “I don’t think all hope is lost. Today helped me understand that a little better. So, I’m gonna try. I’m just fucking terrified it’s all going to be for nothing, that my knee’s never going to get better and I’m going to put myself through so much pain for a what if.”
“Okay, what if you never play again, but, God, Tess, what if you do?” Kamilla says slowly. “What if you do everything right and you get better and you can play with us again in March? I want that for you. We want that for you. Do you want that for you?”
“I mean, of course–”
“Then do it!” Kamilla exclaims, voice cracking. Tess blinks at her owlishly. She’s never seen Kamilla like this, ever, wide-eyed and desperate. It’s a near 180 shift from the girl she’s spent the last 30 minutes talking to, a complete and total shift from the girl who she’s shared an apartment with for two years. “Please, Tess. Do the PT, your therapy, get back on track; whatever it fucking takes, Tess, you need to do it. We miss you. On and off the court. I know it’s not about me, but watching you throw yourself away like that was the worst thing I’d ever witnessed, especially because no matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t get through to you. I thought I was going to lose my best friend!”
Tess’s jaw falls open as the sudden realization of how badly she’s fucked up dawns on her for the second time that day. “Kam,” she tries, her throat tightening with emotion. The taller woman wipes her eyes, taking in a shuddering breath. Kamilla was never one to be mean, no matter how upset she was – that was a trait of hers that made her such a good leader and role model on the court. She was big on accountability and ensuring that past mistakes would never happen again. Seeing all of the emotion she kept under tight lock and key because she knew she needed to be strong for Tess (even before Tess was aware that she needed someone to be strong for her) is unbelievably sobering.
When Tess and Kamilla first met, they almost instantly knew they would be each other’s best friend. They were alike in so many ways – they were fierce competitors and proud haters of The Office; they bonded over shared struggles of not quite knowing what home was and being just a little too different from everyone else. Tess isn’t sure where she would be without Kamilla. She always prayed she’d never have to find out, but the idea that she nearly subjected Kamilla to finding out where she’d be without Tess feels both arduous and damning.
“Kam,” Tess says again, her mind reeling. “I’m so sorry – I’m so fucking sorry. If I could do it all over again, I would. I’m trying. It’s so hard but I’m trying.”
“I know,” Kamilla says, nodding rapidly. Bree is unnaturally quiet, glancing between the two of them with a conflicted expression. Sure, the three of them shared an apartment, but the bond between Tess and Kamilla exceeded friendship; they were like sisters. Bree knew that and it never bothered her. Now it seems as though she’s unsure where to stand, but she understands that this is a much-needed conversation that Tess and Kamilla need to have. “I know, Tess, I’m just – I’m glad you understand it now. Just… please, please let us help you. Don’t shut us out.”
“I won’t,” Tess vows. “I can’t promise I’m going to be at 100%, but fuck, I’m going to try.”
“That’s good enough for me,” Kamilla concedes.
The living room is quiet for a long while until Bree shifts uncomfortably. “So… PT and mental health counseling, those I understand,” she says. “I’m still a little lost on why fake dating Paige is good for your reputation. Rumors are rumors but…it’s giving new flavor of the week.”
“It’s not like that,” Tess argues, a little too defensively. Bree raises a brow and Tess immediately flushes. She’s not sure why that jab at Paige felt personal. She made a similar jab only a few hours ago. But it wasn’t her business to judge. People have their own reasons to do what they do, right? “Well, she said it wasn’t like that,” she amends, which sounds objectively worse. Tess frowns, wishing she’d just kept quiet.
“Hey, I’m just saying.” Bree raises her hand in surrender. “It’s her vice, right? Her free time is her own, but I mean, she’s Paige Bueckers. It’s easy to get caught up in her. I just don’t want you becoming another notch on her bedpost, even if you’re just fake dating her to make people forget you’re on Twitter restriction.”
Tess wrinkles her nose. “My account is unbanned now, thank you very much,” she deflects, but Kamilla’s knowing expression has her redirecting. “I understand what you guys mean, but you don’t have to worry about that. We’re strictly business.” Bree grins wryly, huffing out something akin to laughter that sounds vaguely like, ‘that’s what they all say.’
“Was the Chipotle strictly business?” Bree asks.
Tess’s face is a perfect picture of confusion, but her heart thrums a little faster at the insinuation. What could she possibly know about that? “What does Chipotle have to do with anything?” she asks casually.
Bree’s smirk widens. “You never order bowls. It’s always a burrito with you.”
“I’m trying something new!”
“Yeah, new like a six-foot blonde hooper–”
Kamilla and Bree break out into howling laughter as Tess buries her head in her hands, blushing again. “Oh, my God. You guys are the fucking worst.”
And, sure – the joke is at Tess’s expense, but she can’t help but feel like everything is aligning once more, that they’re returning to the way they once were pre-injury. She expected that it would have taken her a lot more groveling to earn back their favor. Tess was a huge jerk to them – the more she thinks about what she’d likely said to them under the haze of several shots of tequila, the more she wishes she could take it all back and do it over again. She tore her ACL, a season ending injury for many athletes, and for a smaller few, it changed the course of their careers drastically. Tess wants to find it within herself to have some grace, to understand why she behaved the way she did, but now that she sees it with a clearer mind, she can’t help but be disgusted by herself.
For Kamilla and Bree, it’s probably all water under the bridge. They’re kind people like that, perhaps too kind after the way Tess treated them. Maybe the real gotcha! moment is the idea that Tess didn’t need to earn back their favor, anyhow. Sometimes friendship just works like that – it’s confusing and a great risk, but most times that risk pays off. Sometimes friendship just is, accepting a mistake and trusting that it wouldn’t happen again.
Feeling lighter than she has in weeks, Tess retires to her room for some much needed rest after a long day. She lights a candle, settling against her headboard and adjusting the pillow cushioning her knee. Deciding to face the music sooner rather than later, she begins combing through her mountain of notifications and unread DMs. The apology from Caitlin is touching. Tess feels an odd mix of guilt and appreciation as she drafts out her overdue response: “thank you for checking in, been a rough couple weeks. the injury is not your fault but trust that SC will pick your pockets next year!!!” Caitlin’s own response is swift – a simple 'Bring it on' that Tess can’t help but smile at.
She sends similar responses to some of Caitlin’s teammates and the other college players who reached out. She even had a couple of pros expressing their condolences, which honestly shocked Tess. There was Napheesa Collier, Sabrina Ionescu, and A’ja Wilson – A’ja’s DM made Tess’s Gamecock heart beat just a little faster. She was basically South Carolina royalty. Having that kind of support in her corner fills her with an insurmountable confidence.
Her last post on Instagram was a collection of pictures following their Elite Eight win. The sight of herself from a month ago, healthy and glowing, nearly made her thumb falter as she flicked through the images. It was a simple dump – a couple of action shots, a fierce one of Tess celebrating, one of her setting up for a deep three. It was captioned “nowhere else i’d rather be.” That much was still true. She’s pushed it to the recesses of her mind, but instinctually, she can feel the deep ache and the yearn to get back on the court, even though her knee hardly lets her sleep through the night most of the time.
Her eyes fall to the comments. She knows she shouldn’t look at them. She’s practically memorized each and every single one of them. Her teammates’ comments live at the top, celebrating the win with her; under them, there are newer ones from South Carolina fans, offering prayers and support, confident in their belief that Tess will bounce back from this. She can’t help herself from reading the hate comments, either. Her eyes catch on one in particular. Their username isn’t particularly memorable, but it reads, ‘Upsetting to see how Tess has responded to a normal injury for athletes. It’s shameful that South Carolina has let this go on for so long. Grow up!’ 
Well, he’s not wrong. Tess’s response was a pretty terrible one and Amaya herself admitted that they made a mistake in handling the situation. Frankly, he should be proud that Tess has grown up! If she read that comment a week ago, she probably would have crashed out. The thought alone makes Tess crack the slightest of smiles. Before she can keep reading, a text message from an unknown number pops up at the top of her screen, inadvertently saving her from a doom scroll.
Yo How’d I do on lunch? It’s Paige btw
Tess fights the warmth she feels in her chest. Honestly, she would have guessed that it was Paige from the ego she can identify through the screen alone, but she saves her contact regardless.
i’m afraid to admit i prefer burritos but the bowl was a 9/10
Paige’s response is swift.
9 cause I’m the 1 you need?
Tess rolls her eyes.
9 bc there was too much pico and bc the girl who ordered it flirts like a 12 year old
That’s insane You KNOW I have better game than that
you have no rizz, just blue eyes and a bunch of nil money like joe burrow if he was a hey mamas lesbian
Gonna ignore that hey mamas comment just cause I fuck with Joe Burrow The Bengals don’t have nothing on my Vikings though
i think i just got the ick im not gonna lie
Are you a football hater???
i don’t watch men’s sports at all i try to protect my peace
Pause So no Lebron???
ok well obviously i’ve watched the NBA
You scared me Don’t say that shit again
why are you so high maintenance
Why are you so mean
someone has to keep you in check settling down, remember?
I think you could be a little nicer!
hmmm i’ll consider ok i decided no
Just plain evil
i need to get my kicks in early if im stuck with you again on friday
You invited me???
i don’t think that’s how that happened
Pretty sure that’s exactly how that happened Paige please come to PT with me 🥺 Please Paige
ok now you’re just being delusional i see how you’re forgetting the whole ‘tess let me buy your coffee 🥺please tess’
Chilllll Did your doctor check you for a concussion after the ACL?? There’s something wrong with your brain
be honest, are you a natural blonde or did you work really hard to be this stupid
Hard work always baby Also, wanted to ask if you wanna come to the airport with me on Saturday, be seen together I fly out at 11:30am so I think it would be good for us The story I mean
you gonna pay for my uber back?
Duh
paige i was kidding
I wasn’t No rizz, just blue eyes and a lot of NIL money, right?
you’re insufferable
So you’ll come?
don’t sound so excited but i will for the story
Of course See you Friday ma 🫶
Tess likes Paige’s message before shutting her phone off with a sigh. She needs a nap.
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MAY 5, 2023
Friday arrives after a day and a half of binging 2 Broke Girls, independent physical therapy exercises, and lots of ice packs.
Tess slept like shit Thursday night, though she’s unsure if it’s because of the pain in her knee or because of how badly she wanted to haul her ass to the bar and order a couple of shots to numb the throb. She knew she couldn’t do it, no matter how much she thought she needed it – it was bad enough that she spent half of the night sweating through her shirt and chewing on ice cubes to distract herself from the slow downward spiral of her thoughts. Not addicted, she’d remind herself, nursing a cup with rapidly melting ice as she watched Max and Caroline put themselves in weird ass situations. Psychologically, no. Physically…who knows. Tess certainly doesn’t know what that means, but she’s not addicted, period.
Her first therapy appointment was scheduled for Monday afternoon. She just had to hold out until then. Tess hopes that she would glean something useful from her counselor, but she’s been self aware and independent enough for years that she’s usually good at identifying her problems, though slightly less efficient at figuring out what to do about them. Her typical coping methods included a casual mantra of, ‘Pitbull’s been there, done that,’ and running a couple of drills in the quiet of the gym. And, sure – it sounds weird, but the idea that she’s not the only person facing an issue is comforting enough that she wonders if it’s even that deep. It works most of the time and she’s able to shrug it off. She will admit there’s an eventual crash out one way or the other, but she prefers one big explosion over a series of small, ill-timed ones.
With nothing but time on Thursday night, her Google search history consisted of queries such as how long does it take to establish alcohol dependence and symptoms of alcohol withdrawals. Then, around 3am, she got distracted and switched over to TikTok where she scrolled through edits of herself, but that’s less important. She learned that establishing alcohol dependence usually varies from person to person (Tess hates when something ‘depends;’ why can’t there ever be a straight answer?). It’s less clear if she’s officially ‘addicted,’ but she will concede that after a month of heavy drinking, there’s a little something there. Which isn’t ideal, of course, but hopefully it’s mild at the least. It was only a month and people intervened early…ish – maybe if she sticks to recovery then she should be good and clear within a couple weeks at the most.
Google also informed her of the several symptoms of withdrawals, which usually set in anywhere from six to twenty-four hours after going cold-turkey on the drinks. The withdrawals explained, obviously, the need to ransack the liquor store, but also the restlessness, the slight headache she was nursing for the past twenty-four hours, and the perpetual stomach ache she couldn’t seem to get rid of.
She had some answers. So, things were looking up!
…At least they were until she got the call from Amaya at 9:30 as she was struggling to eat a bagel. Google also mentioned a loss of appetite, which Tess was less than happy about. Much like everything else about her recovery, she would have to force herself into doing a lot of things that her body didn’t want her to do. She’d get used to it. She lets her phone ring for a short moment before she sighs, accepting the call and putting it on speaker, greeting Amaya.
“Good morning, Tess!” Amaya chirps, unusually chipper. The basketball player immediately frowns, brows furrowing.
“You get laid?” she asks, unsure of what else Amaya could be happy about in her life.
She can almost hear Amaya’s eye roll from across the line. “No, not that it’s any of your business, though.”
“Boo.”
“Anyways, back to business.” Amaya clears her throat. Tess can hear the slight shuffle of papers. “So, I really liked what you and Paige did, soft-launch wise. The press is eating it up and so far, both of your brand deals are seeing a slight surge in activity. I’m guessing people are flocking to your accounts for raunchy details and seeing you advertise, um, really cool make up products and homework help.” Tess huffs out a laugh at that. “Good job. Also, Craig let me know you showed up to PT as scheduled on Wednesday and did really well. He said you and Paige worked really well together–”
“Stop,” Tess says, listening to the sound of Amaya’s smug laugh. “Don’t insinuate anything.”
“I’m not insinuating anything!” Amaya says defensively and Tess cracks a smile. “So, we just need you and Paige to keep up what you’re doing. Do the small things for a couple of weeks, then hard-launch. We’re going to give you guys most of the control over that. We want it to seem more authentic and less like two PR agencies trying to salvage their clients’ images.”
“Of course,” Tess says innocently. “She’s coming to PT today. Then I’m going with her to the airport tomorrow.”
Amaya sighs dreamily. “You’re such a wonder to work with when you’re being cooperative.”
“Don’t get used to it,” Tess grumbles, giving up on the bagel and tossing it in the trash.
“Alright, one more thing,” Amaya continues, “then I’ll let you go.” Tess hums. “I need you to draft an apology to post on your socials – and I know, it sounds corny, but–”
“You don’t need to explain why,” Tess interrupts softly. “I got it. I fucked up and I made a huge mess. I’ll email that to you Saturday night.”
Amaya is quiet for a moment, contemplative. “Thank you, Tess. And, hey, how are you feeling?”
Tess doesn’t answer for a beat, considering keeping her thoughts to herself, but she reminds her promise to Kamilla to not shut anyone out, so she sighs. “Um, not gonna lie, I didn’t sleep at all last night,” she admits. “My knee hurt and I really wanted to drink – but I didn’t! I binge watched TV and ate ice cubes. Probably not the best thing I could have done but it was all I had to work with.”
“Don’t be so hard on yourself,” Amaya says gently. “It’s gonna be hard for a while, especially when your injury is still new and fresh and you’re all over the place mentally. I’m proud of how you handled it, even if you think you could have done better. Don’t forget you can call that counselor, okay? She’s available at all hours for you.”
“I don’t wanna be a bother–”
“It’s her job,” Amaya states, before adding in a more mother-hen tone, “but she also requested to work with you specifically because this issue is close to her and she really wants to help you. So if you need help, call her. Got it?”
Tess blinks back the impending tears. “Yeah. Got it.”
“Listen, I’m proud of you, I mean it,” Amaya reiterates. “Thank you for being patient and doing this. I’ll talk to you soon, okay?”
“Yeah,” Tess says again. “Talk to you soon.”
Amaya hangs up with one final goodbye. Tess presses her head to the cool counter tile and takes a deep breath. She hardly has the time to think before a knock sounds at the apartment door. Already knowing it was Paige, Tess wipes her eyes and slips her crutches under her arms as she slinks towards the door and opens it.
“Mornin!’” Paige greets, far too cheery for barely ten in the morning. She’s holding two cups of coffee in her hands. When Tess glances down, she easily recognizes her coffee order. Then, a frown covers Paige’s face as she walks in and shuts the door behind her. “You good, ma?”
“Just a tough conversation with Amaya,” Tess says as Paige hands her the drink. She takes a long sip, feeling a little more regulated. “Too many feelings.”
Paige smirks at her. “I’m guessin’ she said the same shit my manager called for? ‘Keep up the good work and keep doing couple-y stuff?’”
Tess hums. “More or less. Oh, I also get to publicly apologize, so there’s that.”
The blonde raises a brow as Tess hands back the coffee cup so she can slip into her shoes. “You? Apologize?”
Tess swats her with her crutch, drawing laughter from Paige. “You’re such a jerk. I apologized to you on Wednesday!”
“Yeah, ‘cause you called me a whore,” Paige says with a dramatic pout. “Really hurt my women-respecting feelings.”
“Please walk me to PT and stop talking.”
And Paige does just that. She holds onto both of their coffees as they walk as Tess’s hands are otherwise preoccupied with her crutches. The silence doesn’t last too long before Paige is rambling about all of the questioning she’s getting from her teammates, and Tess can’t help but listen – correction, she has no other choice but to. Paige admits that she doesn’t like keeping secrets from her team, and Tess feels sympathetic enough that she gives Paige the go-ahead to confess their little ruse. Paige’s denial, however, is shockingly mature. “I trust them not to say sum’ maliciously, right? But you never know who’s listening.”
Tess shrugs a shoulder. “If you change your mind, go for it, okay?” she says. “This is our punishment. Don’t wanna fuck up your friendships.”
“S’all good,” Paige says. “Actually, they’re pretty happy about it. Aubrey thinks I’ll play better next season since I ‘got a girl.’”
Tess snorts. “Yeah, you’ll play better until March, then I’ll get cleared to be back on the court and I’ll drop 25 on you.”
Paige wrinkles her nose. “No way, ma. Try 2-point-5. As in 2.5 turnovers every time I guard you.”
Their banter continues until they reach the PT’s office. Craig greets them with an infectious grin and Tess immediately brightens. He helps her take the brace off of her leg and rolls up her pant leg, poking and prodding at her injury. After just a day and a half of actual care, much of the inflammation has reduced.
Craig walks her through some guided exercises, and much to Tess’s silent appreciation, Paige joins them, too. She has a charming smile on her face the entire time, tacking on ridiculous jokes at the absolute worst moments when Tess is out of breath from the stretch and when laughing feels like gasping for air. Paige is strangely helpful. She boosts both Tess’s morale, comforting her in the fact she’s not doing this alone, but she also has a plethora of tips on how to manage the pain and get a better stretch on the exercises. Her hands are warm on Tess’s knee when she adjusts her leg and the way it bends. Craig looks on with an approving nod, though he jokes that Paige is coming for his job, to which Paige huffs, “Tess don’t listen to me.” Tess can only roll her eyes at that, pretending like she doesn’t care about the way Paige’s hands massage the tension out of her leg.
When Craig steps out to grab his wrapping supplies, Paige stretches out her legs and reaches for her phone. “For the gram?” she asks easily, glancing at Tess for permission.
“Don’t call it that,” she grumbles, but nods anyway and pulls out her own phone. “You sound like an old person.”
“You sound like an old person,” Paige mocks, effectively lowering her age by a solid ten years, and Tess rolls her eyes in amusement. She slides a little closer to Tess, reaching for her left leg and draping it over her right one gently, locking their ankles together. “Good?” Tess hums, looking over Paige’s shoulder and throwing a thumbs up into view of the camera. “You’re so unoriginal,” Paige says, but she sticks her free hand in frame and presses her middle and ring fingers to her thumb, raising her index and pinky in the Husky salute.
“That’s basically a hard launch,” Tess says, though she doesn’t really care.
“Everything we do is a hard launch,” Paige retorts. “We got Instagram detectives, remember?”
Tess mulls it over for a second before turning to Paige with a mischievous grin. “You wanna break the internet?”
“Oh, now we’re talking.”
Paige posts her picture to her story, forgoing any sort of caption, and silences her phone. She gives Tess her undivided attention as she plots. Tess pulls Paige closer into her space, hooking her chin over her right shoulder and leaning against her. Setting up her phone at the right angle, she says, “Look to your left,” and Paige does so until her piercings, half of her low bun, and the slight curve of her jaw are the only things in frame. The lights glint off of the diamond studs in her ears – Tess has to resist a smirk at how obvious the picture is, but she quickly controls her expression, her lips drawing into a natural pout as she takes the photo.
“Got it?” Paige asks, tilting her head to look at the photo. A smile covers her face as she takes it in. “Tess, you’re evil. Everyone is gonna flip.”
“My notifications are going to explode,” she says forlornly. “This is the price I pay to be mysterious and sexy.”
“Mysterious, nah,” Paige says. Her eyes linger on Tess’s face for a moment before she breaks out into a grin. “Sexy…? Hell nah.”
Indignant, Tess pushes her away, sending Paige sprawling to the floor dramatically. “Asshole! What happened to those ‘women-respecting feelings?’”
“You just pushed me to the ground!” Paige cries. “Where are your women-respecting feelings?”
Craig walks in just then, his face morphing into amused confusion as he looks between the two of them, wrapping supplies in hand. “Am I interrupting something?” he jokes.
Tess tries to keep the blush off of her cheeks. “Paige is just being mean to me,” she declares. “Poor Tess Kennedy whose left knee doesn’t even work.”
“Bro!” Paige’s tone is exasperated, and it brings a smile to Tess’s face. “You’re full of sh–” Paige cuts herself off with a cough. “...Sharks. Full of sharks.”
Craig chuckles as he examines Tess’s knee one last time before nodding and beginning to wrap it. “Same stuff, okay? Ice it when you do independent exercise, keep using your crutches, absolutely nothing strenuous.”
Tess nods, thanking Craig and heading out with Paige at her side. Even though the PT combined with her lack of sleep the night before has left her exhausted, Tess is in a significantly better mood than she started the day with. It’s likely too early into her recovery to feel any sort of earth-shattering hope, but she can’t help but feel like she’s doing it. She has yet to attend her first therapy appointment and the light at the end of the tunnel is still ten months away, but it feels like she’s making it out alive. And for now, that’s good enough for her.
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MAY 6, 2023
Sleep comes easier to her Friday night. The cravings returned in full force as she was getting ready for bed, but Tess was exhausted – she took a melatonin gummy and passed out, although her knee woke her up a time or two. She felt well-rested for the first time in a couple of days. The drinking numbed her enough that she was able to sleep, but the abrupt cut-off has her body in disarray. It’s a double-edged sword. Her body craves it, but every time she thinks about a drink, she’s so disgusted at the thought that she can nearly taste the bile in her mouth. While it makes the cravings subside for a moment, they always return. She takes Tylenol in the morning to ward off the impeding headache and chugs a cup and a half of water, feeling as though she needs to flush all the bullshit out of her body.
Kamilla and Bree are up early and the three of them mill about the kitchen as they prepare a light breakfast. It was a Saturday morning tradition for them, usually consisting of pancakes, bacon, and eggs and a lengthy conversation about their weeks or anything in general. They’ve missed out on it for the past month for…obvious reasons that Tess already nurses a lot of guilt over, but she’s keen on making up for lost time. Kam and Bree put her on bacon duty as it’s the least strenuous. She portions the meat in the pan and slides it into the oven as Kam and Bree bicker over their shared stovetop space.
It’s grounding. Tess contributes where she can, enjoying the peace of the moment and laughing along with her teammates when they say something stupid. It nearly makes her forget about her knee, about the guilt she’s working through as she continues to make amends. Part of her wonders why she’d ever resorted to shutting everyone out and losing herself when all she really needed was to just let them in. She watches Kam shout in indignation as Bree jokingly flicks a bit of pepper into her pancake batter, and all Tess can think about is how could she ever hurt those girls. She remembers her promise. Tess has let too many terrible things become a habit, but she refuses to let mistreating her friends be a continued one.
They all sit to eat and the chatter only stops long enough to pass around their bottle of maple syrup and the butter. Kam and Bree ask how PT’s been going, and Tess is honest when she answers. She’s only two days into it and more often than not, it hurts – but she knows it’s for the better. She doesn’t voice the worry that she might stop taking it as seriously once Paige is back in Connecticut. Tess was only partially joking when she told Craig she had an enforcer. Paige holds her accountable in a way she’s been trying to force herself into doing, but her mind is still such a mess that it’s difficult and all she wants to do is mope in bed all day. She knows Kam and Bree wouldn’t let her live that down and she doesn’t want them to feel like she still needs a babysitter.
They tell her that they're proud of her, and Tess feels the tears well up as she tells them to shut up.
“She’s so back,” Kamilla cheers, high-fiving Bree. “Our little ball of sunshine.” Tess can only roll her eyes.
Breakfast ends and Kam and Bree ensure that they’ve got the dishes. The clock on the stove reads 10:30. Tess knows that Paige is likely on her way. She hugs them both, promising to be back once she’s seen her off, and slips into her shoes just as a knock rings out at the door.
Paige’s brows draw into a dramatic furrow once they come face to face. “Damn, you opened this door mad quick,” she says. “Tryna get rid of me that fast?”
Tess cracks a smile, shutting the door behind them with the leg of her crutch. “The sooner you’re out of South Carolina, the better.” They walk down the hallway.
Paige sighs as she punches the elevator button for the lobby. “You’ll miss me,” she says, assured. “You’re gonna miss me bringin’ you coffee, DoorDashing you Chipotle, and making sure you don’t re-tear your ACL.”
“On the contrary…I’ll enjoy the peace and quiet.” Paige shoots her a dirty look and Tess can’t help but laugh.
Paige escorts her to the Uber she has waiting for them. She holds onto Tess’s crutches as she helps her into the passenger side backseat, laying her leg flat against the leather. Her foot nearly brushes the door. Confused and wondering what Paige is doing, the blonde shuts the door and rounds the side. As she settles in, she drapes Tess’s leg over her lap. “You good?”
Mouth dry, all Tess can do is nod, and Paige leans forward enough to instruct their Uber driver to head to the airport. Her palm falls flat on Tess’s shin, her thumb brushing against her leg, and with the way Paige stares out of the window, it’s almost like she doesn’t even register what she’s doing. Their ride is quiet, save for the driver's soft R&B that Paige bobs her head to. Tess slips her phone out of her pocket and snags a quick photo, flipping her phone screen to show her. Paige smiles at her wordlessly, knowing they shouldn’t verbally scheme in front of the driver, and Tess posts the photo to her story.
She refreshes her feed, combing through all of the shit she’s been tagged in from various college basketball update accounts and Instagram sleuths. She and Paige are the face of a new account named taigeupdates – which Tess is assuming is supposed to be their ship name? Given that the alternative is Pess – not that Tess has given it any thought, because she hasn’t! – she could live with it. The admin already has Tess’s story reposted and the comments are flooding in with many begging for an official hard launch since it’s already obvious.
Their driver parks in the designated drop off lane and Paige helps Tess out of the backseat, ensuring she’s stable on her crutches before she’s looping around to the trunk and pulling her carry-on and suitcase out. Tess can already feel the eyes on them, the hushed whispers of, “Is that Paige Bueckers and Tess Kennedy?” And despite years in the spotlight, she can’t help the anxious flush that creeps up on her neck. Having so many eyes on her makes her feel vulnerable enough, but combined with the fact she has a huge brace on her leg and she’s walking around with crutches? She feels uncomfortable, like she’s a pacing animal behind bars in the zoo.
“Ready?” Paige murmurs, stepping up behind her, pressing her free hand to the palm of Tess’s back. The touch comforts her slightly, but only because she’s accustomed to Paige right now and because they’re in this together. Tess gives her a solid nod, tightening her hands around the bars of her crutches. The blonde moves her hand down to her hip to give her a reassuring squeeze before placing it at the center of her back. Paige leads them into the airport, though she leans down, her mouth close to Tess’s ear as she whispers. “We shoulda talked about this earlier, but…what’s on and off limits right now?”
Tess swallows, trying to ignore the nerves. “Just do whatever feels right,” she answers honestly. “The media knows we just spent three days together, right? Don’t overthink it. I’m your girlfriend sending you off at the airport. Make it look like that and not two strangers trying to look the part.”
Paige grins insufferably at her. “Aw, I think that’s the first time you claimed me,” she says. Tess rolls her eyes, tempted to swat her with her crutch, but decides against it. The last thing she needs is Paige tripping and fucking up her knee even more. “So…nothing's off limits?”
“You wanna kiss me so bad you look stupid,” Tess says, nudging Paige with her elbow. From the corner of her eye, she can see the phone camera pointed at them, so she swallows her pride and looks up to Paige with a grin. “I think we should hug for sure. Anything else is too soon...like I said, we've spent three days together. I don't U-Haul.”
“Fine by me,” Paige says, looking far too comfortable as she walks through the airport. “Don't wanna do nothing you're uncomfortable with. Even if it would break the Internet. I know you like that shit.” Tess shrugs, but she was pleased with the media’s reaction so far. Between the two of them, Paige was definitely the menace and chaos-monger, although Tess enjoyed setting a fire once in a while. They finally reach Paige’s terminal and she leaves Tess’s side long enough to check in at the counter.
While she’s gone, a teenage girl approaches Tess with a shy expression, phone clutched in hand. “Excuse me, are you Tess Kennedy?” she asks.
“Guilty,” Tess jokes, leaning on her healthy leg.
“Do you mind if I get a picture?”
Tess shakes her head, saying, “Not at all,” as she moves to stand next to the girl. She angles the phone and Tess throws up a peace sign, grinning, and she snaps the photo. Before either of them can say anything else, Paige is walking back from the check in counter and the girl looks like she’s about to start doing cartwheels.
“Is that–”
“Unfortunately,” Tess sighs, which makes the girl laugh and Paige narrows her eyes. Remembering where they are, Tess smiles innocently.
“Can I get another picture with the both of you?”
Paige and Tess can’t resist. Paige rarely turns down her supporters in the first place, and all Tess can think about when she’s in these situations is all the times she’s ever met her idols and how it changed her life. Being in a situation to give back to the youth like that is one of the best parts about playing basketball. They pose on either side of the teenager as she takes the photo, and after quick hugs and a lot of gratitude, Paige and Tess are left alone.
Tess checks the time, realizing that Paige is boarding soon. The overhead PA confirms as much and Paige glances at Tess once more, hiking her carry-on bag higher on her shoulder. “You gonna miss me?” she asks teasingly, and Tess taps her chin, thinking.
“Hmm,” she ponders. “Not one bit.”
“You will,” Paige says confidently. “I got motion like that.” Tess rolls her eyes, unable to curb the warm fondness in her chest. She just pretends like it doesn’t exist. “Make sure you eat, alright? And go to PT. And be real with your therapist. Lemme hear you’re bein’ irresponsible and I’ll fly back down to set you straight.”
“Yes, Paige. Anything else?”
Paige shrugs, an easy smile on her face. “I know you pretend like you’ont like me, but I had fun with you. Even when you were mean.”
“Not mean,” Tess argues weakly. She can’t hide how touched she is by Paige’s words. “Just trying to keep your ego at a reasonable level.”
“Whatever you say, ma,” the blonde concedes. She opens her arms and Tess forgets all about the media, their story, whatever it is they’re supposed to be pretending to do as she wraps her arms around Paige’s waist. She could care less about the cameras, about the social media explosion they’re undoubtedly causing. Paige’s hands are warm on her back and her perfume makes Tess’s head spin. “Gimme a call if you need anything, I mean it. Don’t try to do this by yourself. Promise me.”
“Promise,” Tess vows. Paige pulls back ever so slightly, her eyes studying Tess’s face as her hands slide down her back, resting on her hips. Paige smiles at her and gives her a gentle squeeze before pulling away completely. She and Paige are both flushed, though the red creeping up Tess’s neck feels strangely like embarrassment.
“Call you when I land?” she asks quietly. Tess nods, forcing a smile, and they share their final goodbyes before Paige walks away.
Tess watches as she goes, suddenly hyper aware of the cameras and the crowd, and she holds back a sigh. She needs to get it together. None of that was real. She’s just a mess emotionally, touch-starved after a month-long crash out, and she’s letting it get to her head. She’ll feel more regulated after a nap and some stretches.
Hopefully.
227 notes · View notes
sfehvn · 2 years ago
Text
new religion
Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7
Description: AU- Astarion is enamored by you, and while he fights it at first, he may have just found his new religion. A/N: Just a tad bit of sweet smut to be honest. This was my listen while I wrote if you were curious. Enjoy! xx Rating: M (18+ minors DNI) Word count: 2,069 Characters: soft!ascended!Astarion x fem!au!Tav
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  From the moment Astarion had seen you, he knew he had to have you. Walking through the animated city of Baldur’s Gate, your radiant smile was the first thing that had caught his eye. Flowing hair kissed your shoulders adorned with freshly plucked daisies. Your aroma was the most intoxicating scent that had graced his nose in all of his years. Your rose-tinted cheeks teased with the blood flowing beneath your flawless skin. Your eyes sparkled with wonder, reflecting the rays of the sun above. He had never been a believer in the love at first sight nonsense, yet there you were. If his undead heart could beat, he was sure it would be skipping against his ribcage. It was the only time the vampire had found himself utterly speechless. 
  For months, he watched from afar, finding excuses to go into town. Not that he had to excuse anything to anyone, but the newfound feelings were frightening, to say the least. Alas, day after day Astarion went out, whether for a drink or an unnecessary shop trip, and he would wait to get even the slightest glimpse at you. He was aware that this obsession was snowballing out of his hands as he fell harder and deeper. Hells, he had never even spoken to you. Yet he knew nearly everything there was to know. 
  He knew every other day you made your way to the apothecary to pick up medicines for your sick father, whom you cared for. He knew once every fifth day, you picnicked in the graveyard next to your mother’s grave. He knew your favorite color was yellow because it reminded you of the summers you spent with your mother before her untimely passing. You had six siblings: an older brother and five young sisters. 
  Astarion had also realized that you had a death wish, apparently. You were constantly staying out past sundown, running errands or helping neighbors. Did you even comprehend the dangers? He would often think to himself. Of course he had to follow you home to ensure you made it inside safely. You were becoming a liability to him, and quite frankly, he was terrified of how you made him feel. Just when he had decided to end this one-sided arrangement, there you were. Sat on the side of the road with tears pooling rivers down your cheeks, his body felt out of his control as he approached you.
  He stood in front of you, his words caught in his throat. You stared at him with those big doe-eyes, and his knees felt like jelly. “Are you alright?” He finally managed out. Gods, what am I doing? I should just sink my fangs into her and be done with it. It’s just bloodlust. This was something he had tried to convince himself of many times already- a lie.
  “Oh, yes.” Voice sweet and smooth, like the finest honey gold could buy. “Just this silly book.” You giggled, holding up the novel you had previously been engrossed in before Astarion had found you.
  “Right. Good.” He clears his throat in an attempt to regain his composure and still his spinning mind. “I’ll just be on my way then.” You nod, gifting that sweet smile to him. Astarion felt his legs would give out beneath him if he stayed longer, but he didn’t move an inch.
  The man intrigued you, ruby red eyes and skin pale as the snow that fell during winter. He was gorgeous. An aura of mystery surrounded him, and you were keen to discover those mysteries. “Say, you live in that big fancy manor?” You question, breaking the awkward silence that had befallen you two.
  “I do. Why?” Skepticism was palpable in his tone. 
  You disregarded his tone, and he believed it to be your naive nature. “You have the most exquisite daffodils blooming alongside your walls. I didn’t want to pick them without asking.” Your smile is sheepish, innocent. Astarion doesn’t speak, his face unreadable. “I-I enjoy putting bouquets together. I don’t mean to-” He already knew this, obviously.
  “They are yours.” Astarion can’t contain the smile that tugs the sides of his lips.
  As you two stroll to the location of said flowers, Astarion finds himself loosening up in your presence. He watches you intently, the way you move your hair from your face as you carefully pluck a few from the group. He urges you to take more.
  “Are you sure? I don’t want to be a bother. These are plenty.” You assure. In response, he crouches down next to you to help pluck the remaining flowers.
   After walking you home, Astarion ordered flowers to be planted around the grounds. With the help of just a little magic, within weeks, roses, peonies, sunflowers, and carnations bloomed healthily. You would come with a fresh serving of food, a bouquet as thanks, and collect the flowers. As naive as you were, you could recognize what Astarion was doing. The daffodils were a one-off in that area, but now flowers surrounded the entirety of his property. The rate at which they grew, too; you were aware some effort went into getting them to blossom so hastily. At every mention of a new flower, the next time you came, they were miraculously in bloom.
  This compromise had been in full swing for months when you finally questioned him about it. Astarion was on his knees as he snipped red roses from the bush, insistent on doing it himself so you didn’t prick yourself on a thorn. “Why are you doing this?” You question, a wicker basket that was already overflowing held firmly in your hands. 
  “I told you, you’ve nabbed yourself on these blasted thorns one too many times.” His reply came without a look in your direction as he continued to snip the stems.
  “That’s not what I meant.” A soft chuckle emanates from behind closed lips. He looks up at you in realization, his hands coming to a halt. Your breath catches in your throat as he stares at you wordlessly, longingly. Standing slowly, he takes a step closer to you. He drops the roses into your basket before cupping your cheeks, closing the distance between your faces. The kiss is electric. You drop the basket to your feet, arms snaking around his neck while he presses your body tightly to his, clinging to you like a prayer. His lips were a colder temperature than you expected, but they were soft and hungry. 
  That’s how Astarion ended up with you in his bed. As he eagerly ripped the pale blue dress from your body, you took note of the bouquets around his bed chamber. Every single one you had gifted to him was on display and in perfect condition. Your heart flits in your chest, eyes closing in ecstasy as wet kisses trail up the inside of your thighs. A soft moan is elicited from you as his mouth reaches your warmth, his tongue flicking teasingly along your slit. Your fingers thread into his stark white hair, instinctually tugging with every contact against your clit. Colors explode behind your eyelids from the euphoric excitement.
  He pulled away briefly, with his starving mouth against your thigh, he spoke muffled words, “I don’t think you realize how long I’ve been waiting to hear that, darling.” Your breathing quickens as you look down at him between your thighs with hooded, lustful eyes. His mouth returns to your clit and he suckles lightly, two fingers dipping into your dripping center. The sensation brings your back into an arch, aching to feel him deeper inside of you.
  The swirling motion of his tongue brings you close to the edge, your legs shaking mercilessly. Astarion’s free hand moves between his torso and your legs, holding them steady as he continues his work on your body. Just as you are about to cum, he places a final kiss on your mound before his eyes meet yours. “You’re much naughtier than I thought.” He tsked, crooning his neck at you before moving up your body.
  Your lips meet passionately, his tongue slipping effortlessly into your mouth to meet your own. He creates a gap between you as one hand holds him up, quickly removing his trousers and undergarments with his other hand. He pressed his bulge down onto your warmth, hitting your sweet spot as he grinds against you. “Do you taste how lovely you are?” He murmurs, plunging his tongue further into your mouth. You can only let out a delighted moan in response.
  Once he breaks the kiss, you press your slippery core harder against his erection. “Please fuck me.” You whimper lustfully, “Please-” Your words are cut short by the sensation of him rubbing the head of his cock against your clit, causing a delicate moan to leave your throat.
  “Fuck. You’re soaked, my darling.” He coos. As much as Astarion wanted to continue to play with your body, he needed to be buried in you as quickly as he possibly could. He slides the head of his member from your clit, pushing slowly into your welcoming embrace. He savors every sensation as he enters you. There is a momentary flicker of pain on your face as you adjust to his size, and he falters for a moment.
  “Have you done this before?” He asks quietly, pressing his forehead to yours, avoiding your throat to save himself from temptation. He cursed himself inwardly for even asking; he shouldn’t care. This woman brought a side out of him he had never met before- a softer side. The scariest part is he actually, well, liked it.
  You wavered for a second before shaking your head, confirming that he was indeed the first man to have ever been in such a position with you. The thought makes him feel feral. Such a sweet flower trusting someone like him to take your virtue; he would never admit it to anyone, but honor and pride swelled in his chest. He nodded in acknowledgment, “We’ll go slow, pet.” He reassures, hips rocking delicately into yours as he fills you with as much of him as he can manage without causing you discomfort. He lays a gentle kiss on your forehead as your pain turns into pleasure, still-shaking legs wrapping to engulf his hips.
  “A-Astarion.” His name sounded like a hymn gracing his ears from your mouth, and he wanted to devour you right there and then. It took everything in him not to plow you into the bed. His hand rests on the bedframe as he finds a comfortable rhythm, eyes never leaving your face. He wanted to soak up every reaction to his touch.
  “You drive me crazy, pet.” He grunts as his pace quickens, gripping the mahogany wood tighter at the magnetic pleasure buzzing through his body. He uses his free hand to effortlessly move you further up into a slightly seated position as his thumb once again finds your clit to draw purposeful eights over it. 
  “I-I’m- Oh my gods-” The moan is loud, music to his ears as your walls tighten around his cock.
  “That’s right. Be a good girl and cum for me.” It’s a stern demand, all to mask just how close Astarion was himself. His words push you over the edge, your body clinging to his for support as the euphoria rushes over you. Every hair on your body standing on end, you throw your head back and scream Astarion’s name thrillfully. 
  With you coming undone, he allows himself to reach fruition, his seed filling you to the brim. His hand on the frame loosens, and his head hangs, face full of gratification. He looks down at you, pulling his now-soft member from you, a satisfied sigh leaving your lips as you stretch contently, much like a cat. Your eyes were droopy, a giddy smirk on your face as you fought to keep them open. Astarion chuckles, pressing another kiss to your lips. “You can sleep, my darling. I’ll wake you in a little.”
  Astarion swore he felt the tiniest tinge of warmth in his heart at the sight of you so comfortable cuddled into his side as you dozed off. This could be a welcome change. Maybe his undead life just needed his very own light, his own sun. All he knew was that he was done fighting it. One weakness couldn’t hurt.
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sparkling-ariaria · 2 years ago
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Marauders Era fics I read and want to keep...
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*Complete fem or non-specific reader insert fics*Upd: 25.05.2023
Poor bunny by robynlilyblack - Remus x Reader Y/n doesn’t understand why her friends are lying to her every month, so on one full moon she follows them…
The girl with the books by solemnarration- Remus x Reader James and Sirius notice that it’s not the books that keep Remus in the library, and are determined to know whether you – the object of Remus’s affection – return his feelings.
Beautiful by acosmis-t - Remus x Reader Comforting insecure Remus.
The gist of it by yellow-berrys - Remus x Reader You’re meeting Remus’ mother for the first time, and it’s overwhelming for her how lovely the house is.
One where he teaches you how to play the Piano by proserpina-magnus - Regulus x Reader
From a distance by still-blue-sky - Regulus x Reader Reader has a major crush on the mysterious Regulus Black and has always observed him from a distance. She never thought that he would feel the same until proven otherwise late at night in the library.
A snake and his little bird by robynlilyblack - Regulus x Reader Y/n has been keeping her relationship with a certain Black brother secret, but when James starts investigating why she's always stealing the map she's in hot water.
Smart cookie by robynlilyblack - Sirius x shy!Reader Sirius needs a tutor for herbology and he happens to be granted the shiest girl in the world to help him, luckily, he happens to love that about her.
Dote on me by yellow-berries - modern!Sirius x Reader You are completely oblivious to the way Sirius black dotes on you, and think that the way you're infatuated with him is completely one-sided. But he begs to differ.
Dealbreaker by luveline - Sirius x Reader You work in a bookstore. Sirius keeps finding reasons to need books.
Forbidden words by padfootagain - Sirius x Reader You've been dating Sirius for a while now, and it's been going wonderfully well. However, when you finally confess that you love him, he find himself unable to say it back. It will take time for him to be ready to say these three forbidden words out loud, but if there's someone who can make him overcome his inner demons, it's you.
Pumpkin's father and your lover by justyoursimpleflower - Sirius x Reader Sirius and you find a kitten, apparently she is a matchmaker.
Vivre d'amour et d'eau fraîche by acosmis-t - Sirius x Reader
Sirius drabble by sxriusblxck - Sirius x Reader Cuddling with Sirius after a long day spent together.
Still pretty by upsidedownwithsteve - Sirius x Reader Drunk Sirius, something cute and fluffy.
Sirius visits you at work by magicchai - Sirius x Baker!Reader Sirius showing up with flowers for his girl at work when she's having a bad day.
I can't focus because I can't keep you out of my head. by perpetuallydaydreaming - James x Reader 5 times James got distracted because of you.
Gorgeous distraction by gtgbabie0 - James x Reader James trying his best to study while you distract him.
And I love her by dilf-lover99 - James x Reader The 3 times James tries to get the girl and the 1 time he finally does. Or In which James Potter is hopelessly in love with his best friend.
You'll be in my heart by once-upon-an-imagine - James x Sister!Reader Hurt/comfort with James where a guy is making her very uncomfortable by hitting on her when James wasn’t there.
SB piece by familyvideostevie - grumpy!Sirius x sunshine!Reader Reader gets a phone call from Remus about her boyfriend moping away in a club.
E prometti domani a tutti parlerai di me by littlest-dark-age - Sirius x Reader Soft Sirius making a flower crown for his love.
Regulus dating someone from Hufflepuff by magicchai
Remus' remedy by magicchai - Remus x Reader Remus has the perfect remedy to fix his girlfriend’s migraines.
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strawberryblue-blog · 2 months ago
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can you do a Ruben x reader smut where he reacts to the reader getting his jersey number tattooed on her lower back
Number three —Ruben Dias.
summary: request.
warnings: YES. +18. smut, unprotected sex, spanking, size kink.
words count: +2.3k.
#SEXYNOTE: I will use Ruben's number at Manchester City.
💌: Masterlist.
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The sound of the tattoo machine still echoes in your head as you walk to the car. You're wearing a light jacket that covers your lower back, though you can still feel the slight sting where the tattoo now lies. You're nervous but also excited. You can't wait to show it to him.
You've been planning this for months, ever since you saw how proud he was when his team won the local championship. Him, number 3, the captain, the heart and soul of the team. And you, his number one fan, wanted to do something special, something to show him how much he meant to you. It didn't take long to heal, since it wasn't that big and deep and you had taken every precaution to take good care of it.
Today was finally the day you were going to show him the tattoo and you were kind of excited to tell the truth. Honestly it was something crazy that you would never have done in other circumstances but you loved Ruben and your support went beyond your simple love. You admired him, he was a great leader, who would hold his head up despite defeat and lead his team to success at every step. You wanted to show him your unconditional support.
When Ruben arrives home from work, you feel a mixture of anxiety and excitement. You hear his shout downstairs and wait for him in the bedroom while you continue folding laundry and rearranging pillows. Ruben greets you with his usual smile as he leaves the workout bag lying somewhere in the room.
"Hi, love" he says as he hugs you. His hands touch your back and you smile at the thought of what you did. "Why are you wearing that mysterious smile?"
"It's nothing" you reply, playfully trying to hide the smile.
The excitement makes you nervous and you start to doubt whether to actually show it to him, even though you know he'll see it sooner or later.
Ruben wraps his arms around you again and you melt into an affectionate kiss as his hands wrap around your hips and yours embrace his big shoulders. «It's time» you think as his lips caress you.
"I have a surprise for you but you have to promise not to tease" you whisper against his lips pulling apart slightly. Ruben growls trying to kiss you but you put your hands on his shoulders, smiling at him in warning.
"Tease you? Love, you know I wouldn't do that. What is it?" he says suspicious and curious.
You bite your lip somewhat shyly. Your fingers tremble as you grab the edge of your t-shirt from home (it's actually his) and slowly turn around. You lift your shirt slightly to expose your lower back.
"Surprise..." you say somewhat amused, feeling the anxiety in your belly.
"What?" your voice cuts off when you see the tattoo. You turn a little to see his face and you can see the confusion and surprise on his face.
The number 3, perfectly outlined with the font of his team's uniform, right in the center of your lower back.
For a moment, he says nothing, and you wonder if it was too much. But then you hear him let out a soft, almost incredulous laugh. He's more than surprised.
"Are you serious?" he asks, standing up.
His hands gently rest on your waist as he takes a closer look. "Is it real?" he questions in shock.
You nod. "Touch it and see" you tell him and he looks at you in confusion.
Something trembling with his fingers touches your painted skin, skirting the drawing. A shiver runs down your back and Ruben notices. A small smile begins to form on his lips and you bite your tongue nervously.
"Did you do this for me?" he insists admiring your back. His eyes sparkle when he asks.
"Of course" you say, turning to look over your shoulder at him. "I wanted you to know how much I care about what you do and that you have my support. You're my number 3."
He smiles, and his eyes sparkle in a way you've rarely seen in the dim light of the room.
"Love, this is...amazing. I never thought you'd do something like this" he continues saying excitedly.
Before you can respond, he wraps you in a hug from behind, careful not to touch the newly made tattoo too much.
"You don't know how happy this makes me. It's the nicest gesture anyone has ever made to me."
He turns you to face you and his lips find yours in a soft but emotion-filled kiss.
"You're amazing" he says against your mouth. "Really"
His fingers return to your lower back and slip under your shirt, groping the area again. With his fingertips he begins to prod your skin playfully as he glues his body to yours.
"Thank you for this" he whispers in your ear. "I swear there is nothing in the world that can top what I feel right now" he kisses your neck sweetly.
You smile happily as his lips begin to take another turn, Ruben leaves little bites on your neck, licking and sucking. A gasp escapes your mouth and he smiles, you feel it on your skin.
"Let me surprise you back, love" he says as his eyes return to yours.
His big hands wrap around your ass and he squeezes it hard, making you moan. You don't even have to agree as your lips meet his desperately. Ruben kisses you hard and wild as his hands roam your lower back and ass, squeezing you.
You begin to stumble around the room as you desperately remove your clothes. Your shirt quickly disappears as you are left in just panties and Ruben begins to peel off his pants after you remove his shirt.
Your hands run down his hard chest, your nails gently caressing his skin as you continue kissing. You reach the bed and Ruben grabs your waist, turning you with one stroke making you squeal. Your back is against his chest and you gasp as his hands encircle your breasts, pressing them pleasurably.
You can feel his bulge in your ass, starting to press harder and harder into your body. You both gasp from the friction and he continues to kiss your neck. His hands move down your belly, caressing you, then move to your hips and finally position themselves on your back. With a little force, Ruben pushes you against the bed and you're bent against him, lifted up a little, until you're on your knees and hands on the mattress. Your ass in his sight. Totally exposed. You can feel the heat burning between your legs and you're sure he can too. Your chest is pressed against the bed and your ass is raised high.
Ruben takes some time and when you turn your head a little, you can see what he's looking at your tattoo as he licks his lips. You feel a twinge in your lower belly.
"Damn, baby" he gasps as he looks back at you again and again.
His voice sounds husky, fiery. His eyes have darkened and shine like lanterns. He reaches up to you and touches you again, his fingers caressing the tattoo and then sliding down your body, taking your panties with them. You gasp as you are free of your clothes.
You're so aroused you're surprised that without touching you're already a mess. Ruben is being rough and desperate and you love it. You are desperate.
With his hands he squeezes your ass, making you moan, you want him to touch you. You need it. His fingers run up and down your slit, back and forth, making you grunt. He's enjoying himself.
"Do you want to see how happy your surprise made me, love?" he asks loudly and loudly. You don't get to nod as two of his fingers sink into your wet hole, entering you perfectly as you arch your back.
Your body trembles and you don't know if it's from the pleasure or the position but that's how you stay. With your ass on top while Ruben rams you with his fingers. You have never tried this position before and you have to admit that you love it. The power and control Ruben exerts over you while you are completely vulnerable to him, letting him touch you. Ruben knows it and takes every minute to show it.
With his thumb he strokes your clit as he continues to fuck you with his fingers deep, you feel him bottom out and pull his fingers out, he's making you lose your mind.
"Look at you" he murmurs as you cry out. "Getting fucked while you have my number on your back" he gasps smacking your ass with his free hand.
You scream biting your tongue to hide. This is wonderful. Pleasure begins to build up in your belly and you gasp in despair.
"R-ruben..." you moan trying to grab his hand. You need to stop now, otherwise you'll come so hard you won't be able to go on. You want his cock. You need to feel him, not his fucking fingers.
"What do you want, baby?" he gasps as he keeps pounding your center. "Be a good girl and ask me"
You open your mouth to speak but a moan shuts you up as you feel the burning in your crotch.
"Fuck me, Ruben" you can barely say. "With your cock, fuck me" you scream trying to lift your body but Ruben stops you.
He pushes you back down until your chest is on the bed again, your ass well up and your legs spread apart. Your body starts to ache but you don't care, you need to feel it. You feel him pull away a little and you sigh for air, you need to calm down. You see him out of the corner of your eye taking off his boxer shorts and bite your lip as you watch him stroke his ready cock.
Ruben settles in standing behind you and looks at your tattoo again, right in his sight, his fingers gently outlining it, making you bristle. You feel him mark the three on your skin, over and over again, as with his other hand he takes his cock and moves it closer to your slit. First he strokes your entrance, up and down, making you gasp in unison.
You swallow saliva and your legs tremble, preparing for what's coming. He doesn't stop touching your tattoo at any moment and with his other hand, he holds you by the waist. He fucks you hard, entering you completely in one thrust. You moan so loud you feel him scrape your throat. His cock is so big it opens your walls and you feel some pressure, you'll never get used to that size. It's perfect. He barely moves a little and you are so sensitive, you moan. Damn, Ruben made a mess of you.
"You're so tight baby" he gasp sighing. You move slowly, looking to take shape. "So hot, so beautiful" he whisper as he begin to move fast.
You go into a seesaw of emotions as his pelvis slams against your ass, making a hot dirty noise, turning you on. You feel his strength hit you and you hold onto the sheets, squeezing his so hard in your fingers you think they'll crack. His hand is still there, holding you by your lower back as he fucks you again and again, hard and firm. The burning in your muscles starts to bother you but you don't care.
One of his hands bends down a little and grabs one of your breasts, squeezing your nipple as you scream so loud you have to hide your head in the mattress. The pleasure is so immense you don't know how this will end, you fear you will pass out or not be able to move for days after this.
"Ruben" you moan his name as he penetrates you from behind so hard.
He is so emerged in pleasure that you can only watch as he stares at your lower back, his eyes fixed on the black ink tracing your skin. At this very moment you're thanking for the day you decided to go and get his number tattooed on you.
He begins to fuck you faster, more erratically, in search of pleasure. The moans start to get wilder, you can't help but cry out as his cock slams deep inside your center, it's so hard it's going to hurt tomorrow. But you just limit yourself to enjoy being fucked by Ruben.
"You won't just have my number on your body baby, you'll have me too" he gasps slamming into your ass again hard.
You bite down on the sheet as the pleasure builds in your lower belly and you know you are too close but you want to wait for Ruben. It only takes a few seconds before his cock releases inside you, you can feel his hot liquid spill down your legs and his balls contract. You gasp so hard when you can't hold it in anymore and explode. Ruben moans so loudly as your juices begin to mix with his cum, running down his cock and your thighs.
Ruben comes inside you and falls limp on your back as you both try to catch your breaths, heaving as you snuggle against each other.
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aeristrawberi · 3 months ago
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Burning Bridges and hearts
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Summary : The line between hate and curiosity blurs as you find yourself tangled in Jaeyun's chaotic world. With bruises that tell a thousand stories and a sharp tongue that keeps you on edge, he's as infuriating as he is mysterious. But when an unexpected moment of vulnerability shatters your perception of him, you begin to wonder if there's more beneath his rough exterior. Could the boy you vowed to avoid be the one to rewrite your story?
Genre : Angst, there Will be smut themes!, fluff, smau chapters too! Let’s say the typical bad boy love story with a plot?
Pairing : Bad boy Sim Jaeyun! x fem!reader
Warnings : in the first few chapters he is a bad chaotic guy but will eventually turn into a cute handsome puppy hehe, mentions of past toxic relationship! Bruises! Bandage! Blood! Fights! If I forgot something don’t be scared to tell me!
Taglist will be open! Not for long tho!!
ADDI’S NOTE : thinking of making it in a 3 part series or more…anyways hope you���ll like it 😇
(LOOK GOOD AT THE END!!!!!!)
Part 2 | Part 3
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The first time you heard Sim Jaeyun’s motorcycle roar to life, you were sure someone was trying to demolish the neighborhood.
You had been in your new house barely a month, still unboxing dishes and wrestling with furniture. It wasn’t the picturesque start you imagined when you signed the papers chipped paint and creaky doors aside. The biggest problem wasn’t your fixer-upper house, though. It was the nightmare next door.
Sim Jaeyun.
His name would feel like a curse on your tongue.
Every day was the same. His motorcycle’s growl echoed through the narrow street at ungodly hours, shaking the windows and your patience. You’d flinch, silently cursing him as you glared through the blinds. If that wasn’t bad enough, the screaming matches followed. Yelling, doors slamming, things breaking it was chaos, and it spilled into your peaceful mornings like spilled ink on a clean page. His girlfriend’s voice was the loudest, shrill and cutting, but Jaeyun wasn’t exactly silent either.
You didn’t even know what they argued about, but it made your skin crawl. The noise never failed to disrupt your day,whether you were working, cooking, or lying in bed at night staring at the ceiling. Then there were the bruises.
Sometimes you’d spot him in the driveway, leaning against his motorcycle with a cigarette in hand, a scowl plastered across his handsome face. Bandages on his knuckles. Scratches along his jaw. A faint purple bruise under his eye. You couldn’t tell if he was getting into fights or being dragged through one. He didn’t look like someone who cared about what people thought of him,unruly hair, dark hoodies, leather jackets, cigarettes..If you caught his gaze by accident, it would linger a second too long, enough to make you look away. You hated him. You hated her. You hated them. But most of all, you hated that you were curious.
It was a Thursday evening when the yelling reached a fever pitch. You had just settled on the couch, ready to enjoy a quiet dinner, when a scream from next door startled you so badly you almost dropped your fork.
“I’M DONE! I SWEAR, I’M DONE WITH YOU!” The girlfriend’s voice, sharp as nails, cut through the walls.
“BUT YOU’RE STILL HERE?!” Jaeyun roared back. A loud crash followed something breaking and then another slam of what sounded like a door. Your heart jumped to your throat. You stood up, torn between ignoring it and the gnawing instinct to check outside. Curiosity got the better of you. Pulling your cardigan tight around you, you peeked through the blinds.
Jaeyun stood in the driveway. The porch light cast shadows across his frame as he leaned over his motorcycle, breathing hard, fists clenched. Even from here, you could see his shoulders rising and falling with every breath. A fresh scrape marked his cheek, the crimson line stark against his skin. His girlfriend, nowhere in sight, had left the front door wide open.
You didn’t realize you were staring until he looked up.
For a beat, everything stopped. Jaeyun’s dark eyes locked onto yours, and your breath caught in your chest. The anger on his face didn’t fade, but his expression shifted like he had caught you intruding on something private. The corner of his lip curled, but it wasn’t a smile. You ducked back behind the blinds like an idiot, your face burning “Creep,” you muttered to yourself, shaking your head “Why do I care?”
You didn’t know. And you wouldn’t let yourself think about it too much. The next morning, you were greeted by the low rumble of Jaeyun’s motorcycle starting up again. It was almost a routine now, the sound a warning that peace and quiet would remain out of reach.
You grabbed your keys, deciding that some air and a coffee run would clear your head. But as you stepped outside, you froze. Jaeyun was there, sitting on the steps of his porch. A cigarette dangled between his fingers as he glanced up at you, his eyes shadowed. His knuckles were bruised again.
“Morning,” he said, his voice rough like gravel.You blinked at him, surprised he spoke first. “Uh… morning,” you muttered, gripping your keys a little tighter.
He didn’t move, just stared at you with a look you couldn’t quite place.“You always watch people through your window?” he asked suddenly, his lips quirking into something that resembled a smirk. Your cheeks flushed. “I wasn’t watching you,” you shot back. “Your yelling…woke me up”
“Oh? My bad,” he drawled, not sounding sorry at all. You scoffed, turning toward your car without another word. But as you opened the door, his voice stopped you. “You should mind your own business, new girl,” he said, his tone lighter now, teasing. “You might not like what you find.”
You glanced at him over your shoulder, narrowing your eyes. “I don’t want to find anything about you or your girl.”
He grinned a real, lopsided grin that made your stomach twist, much to your dismay.“We’ll see about that,” he murmured, more to himself than to you. As you drove off, you couldn’t shake the feeling that Jaeyun was still watching you and that this was only the beginning of something you weren’t ready for. “Why does he have to be so damn annoying?” you thought, gripping the wheel tighter. But somewhere, buried deep in your chest, was the faintest thrum of anticipation and that terrified you most of all. The weekend rolled around faster than you expected, though it wasn’t any quieter. By now, you knew better than to expect peace when Jaeyun’s motorcycle was involved. The rumble had become as familiar as background noise, though that didn’t mean it was any less irritating.
On Saturday morning, you decided to take control of your day. You tied your hair back, pulled on some sneakers, and headed outside to tackle the front yard a mess of weeds, overgrown grass, and scattered leaves. It wasn’t glamorous, but at least it was productive.
Half an hour in, sweat dotted your forehead, and you were almost proud of the dent you made in the chaos. That pride shattered when the sound you dreaded most pierced through the morning air. The motorcycle.
You gritted your teeth, refusing to look up as Jaeyun rolled out of his driveway. The engine cut off, and for a moment, you felt relief…until you heard his voice. “You missed a spot.”
You froze, your fingers tightening around the rake in your hand. Slowly, you turned your head to find Jaeyun standing at the edge of his driveway, arms crossed and an infuriating smirk playing on his lips.
“Excuse me?” you snapped. He nodded toward the weeds near the edge of your lawn. “Right there. If you’re going to play house, you might as well do it right.” You stared at him, incredulous. “Do I look like I need your advice?” “Clearly, you need something,” he teased, shrugging. “Just trying to help.”
“You want to help?” you shot back, exasperated. “Turn down your damn motorcycle once in a while and keep your drama inside your house.”
His smile faltered, just for a second. You thought you saw something shift behind his eyes a flicker of something deeper, rawer, before his smirk returned.
“Noted,” he said, his voice quieter but still teasing. He glanced at your yard again. “Good luck with that mess.” And with that, he walked back to his bike, the metallic clink of his keys cutting through the air. The engine roared to life, and you watched, irritated, as he sped off down the street.
Later that evening, as you sat on your porch with a cup of tea, you couldn’t help but replay the interaction in your mind. There was something about Jaeyun…something infuriating, yes, but also intriguing. The way he smirked,The way his voice softened, just for a moment, before he covered it with sarcasm.
You shook your head, willing yourself to stop thinking about him.
But as the sun dipped below the horizon, casting the street in a warm glow, you found your gaze drifting to the house next door and the boy who seemed to carry chaos wherever he went.
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ADDI’S NOTE : HOW DID I DO IT YAALLLL? THIS TOOK ME LIKE 3 HOURS TO WRITE AND THINK ABOUT THE IDEAS LMAAAOOO I LOVE IT HOPE YOU ENJOYED READING THIS THERES MORE TO COME SO DW! MAKE SURE TO REBLOG IT IF YOU LOVE (maybe also follow 🤭)
©aeristrawberi 2025. do not copy translate or upload any of my works without my permission.
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gustavsbrainneuron · 6 months ago
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‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ The only time I can be normal.
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‎ ‎ ‎ ‎2008 Zombie Bill Kaulitz × female reader.
Warnings: silly & "scary" fic, zombie stuff??...basically Bill becoming friends with reader.
Author's note: I WAS WAITING OCTOBWR TO COME SO I COULD.POST THIS. I. LOVE HALLOWEEN. :3 English is not my first language so i'm sorry if there are any mistakes.
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The leaves crunched with every step you took back, this boy wasn't normal.
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It all started at the beginning of the 31st. You woke up with the arrival of the triumphant day that celebrated the; Halloween. October was your favorite time, perhaps because of the air of mystery that this month gave? To the leaves changing color and falling to the ground, houses decorated with scary things, people arguing about what costume to wear, summer leaving and finally giving way for winter to arrive...all of this was very good for you.
You honestly didn't know what costume to wear for Halloween. Vampires? Classic, who wouldn't want to be a vampire? Sometimes, you even wondered if vampires really existed and on Halloween, perhaps it was the only day they could mingle with humans. Ghost? No. Evil mermaid who probably seduces men and takes them to the sea and kills them? No. A bride who killed her husband and wears a necklace with a reddish stone where his soul is trapped inside for eternity? No. Everything seemed very classic, very normal. But you didn't want to go trick-or-treating without a costume. But who said you hated classic costumes? Without any idea, you dressed up as a witch. Pointed hat, elegant dress with lots of details, a black cape long enough to give a mysterious air, slightly heavy makeup, with black eyelids, very reddish lips. Everything was perfect for Halloween.
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As night arrived, people started to leave their homes, your neighborhood starting to be full of children and teenagers going here and there to ask for sweets. That was your favorite part, getting free candy! Obviously you went to ask for sweets with friends, after all you always had a ritual on Halloween night; separate sweets equally for all your friends.
"How long will you take?? Me and the girls still want to do trick or treat!!" One of your friends yelled, while you were in your room, facing a mirror, fixing your makeup. "Just be patient, okay? I'm sure there's still plenty of candy out there!" You replied back, finishing applying your reddish lipstick, running downstairs, grabbing your pumpkin-shaped basket to go ask for sweets. "I'm ready!!" You said, opening the front door of your house, seeing your friends dressed up, each one more creative than the other. "Woooow, you killed it this year!" One of your friends commented, approaching you to gently run her hand over the black cape you wore, adjusting the fabric. The other friends nodded, observing your costume. "Thanks. You guys don't look too bad either."
And so the night began. Your friends and you walked almost all over the city, looking for sweets. You filled your basket with sweets and so did they! When everyone's basket was full, you decided it was better to stop taking sweets and get to the best part; separate and devour all these sweets!
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Your friends and you walked back to your house and sat on the sidewalk, ready to sort out the sweets and talk, whether it was about some school gossip or songs they were liking at the moment, it was pretty random. Once you shared the sweets equally, you started eating while talking. This time it wasn't about some school gossip or current hit songs. It was something scarier.
"You know, I saw someone talking about seeing a zombie." A friend commented while chewing a chocolate, looking at the asphalt while the wind carried the leaves away. "Zombies? They don't exist. It must just be someone dressed as a zombie." You replied, giving a skeptical laugh, not believing what your friend said. "Yeah, probably." Another friend commented, opening a bag of jelly beans. "No. One of the kids at school said it was true. He said he saw a zombie walking around. A real zombie." Another friend spoke up, believing the rumor. "It's not like this zombie is here to eat specifically our brains. We just shouldn't stay here until it gets late." The friend who wasn't buying into this zombie thing said, a little ironically. "This sounds like a story to make children scared. I don't think there is such a thing as a zombie." You replied, stopping eating sweets, thoughtful about the possibility that perhaps there is an undead among humans. It made you curious, but it was probably a lie.
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As the night approached, your friends left and only you were out there, sitting on the sidewalk, eating sweets. Until a sound caught your attention, a cat's meow. A very loud meow. Cats were you weak point! You got up from the sidewalk, following the meow sound, walking until you stopped in front of a forest. Okay, either you were a dumb horror movie character or you were smart enough not to go into the woods at night. Fuck it - you thought, entering the forest and trying to find where the cat were, finding a white kitten with black spots, which walked up to you and began meowing loudly. Gently, you crouched down to stroke the kitten's head, hearing the cat purr and put its head forward against your hand, responding to your gesture of affection.
Until a sound of footsteps caught your attention, the footsteps came from behind, the dry autumn leaves betraying whoever was walking towards you. Could it be a human or an animal? Hesitantly, you slowly turned your head back and the moonlight illuminated the face of a boy with black, spiky hair, his lower lip area rotten; showing a bit of his dental arch. Scared, you got up and took the kitten in your lap, looking at the boy who was looking back at you. He was about eight steps away from you and even so, he was scary, simply because he didn't say anything. He tried to take a slow step forward, grunting softly almost as if he wanted to say something.
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In fear, you took steps back holding the kitten in your hands as you focused your gaze on that boy. The leaves crunched with every step you took back, that boy wasn't normal. It was then that he took longer steps, approaching you faster; which made you run away without looking back, your body feeling cold from the fear coursing through your veins.
Trying to lose the boy, you ran faster. The kitten meowed loudly, wanting to jump out of your arms, but you held him, wanting to keep him safe. What a stupid idea - you thought, mentally cursing yourself for having entered a forest where you didn't know the way out. You glanced over your shoulder and the boy was still there, running limply, wanting to get closer for some reason you had no idea and didn't want to stop to find out. "W-wait!" The boy grunted in a tired voice, making you unable to understand much of the words that came out of his mouth.
All your despair was interrupted when you tripped, falling to the ground and feeling pain in one of your knees, the kitten ran away from you, while the boy approached you. You were feeling too tired from running and in pain to get up, but you still tried to drag your own body, but that was unsuccessful.
"Are you okay?" The boy's voice asked hoarsely, showing concern, slowly approaching you, making you hear his footsteps getting closer and closer to you. "Please don't eat my brain!" You exclaimed in a desperate voice, trying to get up again; without success.
"Eat your brain?" He repeated his words almost as if he felt offended. "Why do you think that?" He snapped, crossing his arms as he watched your failed attempts to get up. "You literally ran after me like a maniac with that... scary appearance!" You defended yourself, turning your body so that you were on your back, looking in his direction. "Maniac? Spare me. You're a cat thief." He defended himself too. Looking down, you saw the kitten sitting next to him, watching you too. How could someone stop in a situation like that? It was something so awkward that it even made you look away from the cat, looking to the side. "Aha. I know that guilty look." He replied, shaking his head negatively and giving a low laugh, approaching with slow steps again. "It's okay. Let me help you up." He stated, walking over and grabbing your arm. You used the only strength you had to stand up and put your arm around his shoulders. "I'm sorry. It's just that I was scared. You don't look normal." You commented, soon regretting your choice of words. "Not that you're any different! It's just that you know? There are scary stories in this time of the month...and I didn't know anyone would be out there at this time of night."
"Scary stories? More like gossip. I know people in this town are talking about me." He said, having the strength to keep me leaning against him despite the rotten appearance. "But I don't want to hurt anyone." He stated, walking with me in a direction of the forest and I only let him because he seemed to know what he was doing. "Have you been around here?" You questioned, wanting to make small talk. "Enough to know where we are and how to get out." He quickly responded, letting out a very low growl. "So you've actually been around here a lot."
An awkward silence stretched between you two and was it really an weird situation, a zombie helping a girl who got hurt trying to escape from him? That was so silly. It looked like something from a romantic, forbidden movie, you know? Embarrassing and funny at the same time. "Name?" He questioned suddenly, walking through the forest where you could already see where the two of you were before you started running. "Y/n. And yours?" You questioned back, letting out a low whimper in pain, maybe you had scraped your knee or something, one of your legs hurt a lot and you were taking crooked steps. "Bill."
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Bill guided you to a square, where the two of you sat on a bench. He looked at your scraped knee and just made a pained expression in response, not knowing exactly how to help. The square was pleasant, especially now that it was empty and everyone was inside their homes, it seemed like only you were there, along with a zombie, really a unique experience.
"Sooo..how did you turn into..this?" You questioned out of nowhere, looking at Bill, talking about his rotten appearance. "A zombie?" He responded with a question, his face showing slight confusion. You just nodded, curious to know where he came from and how he became undead. "I don't know exactly. One day you're dead and the next day you're just alive again." He responded, looking down, speaking in a low voice, almost as if he was embarrassed to talk about it. "I'm not at my best though, well...better than nothing, right?" He spoke rhetorically, giving a weak, sarcastic laugh. "I don't think you're ugly." You replied, looking at him. Okay, you literally ran away from him minutes ago but now, listening to him talking so normally, gave you the feeling that he was a normal, alive boy, despite his rotten appearance. "The first thing you did when you saw me was run." He said, making you quickly respond to him. "It's not every day I encounter a zombie, okay? And I've already apologized."
. . . . . .
"Do you eat brains? Just like in the horror movies?" You questioned, wanting to make the atmosphere less awkward between the two of you. Bill looked at you, his eyebrows furrowing. "It's hard. Sometimes yes and sometimes no. And anyway, I don't look for my food in humans, if that's what you want to know." He responded calmly, wanting to make you more comfortable around him. "Maybe you were cursed by a witch and now you have to be a zombie forever." You commented ironically, giggling and changing the subject as well. "The witch must have been you." He replied, laughing lowly, pointing to your witch costume. You sighed dramatically, placing your hand on your chest gently. "Me?? I wouldn't be that mean. I would do the opposite. I would create a spell to detransform you." He laughed at your dramatic pretense, rolling his blurry white eyes. "Mhm, sure."
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You and Bill ended up talking there in the square, sitting on the bench and, in fact, he was a really nice and interesting boy. The interests you had he had too and it was nice to have someone to talk to about certain topics, even though that person was quite peculiar.
"You know, I'm not that different from you." You said as you looked at the ground, seeing the autumn leaves there, stuck to the slightly damp ground from dawn. "No?" He responded ironically, smiling sideways. "No. My transformation is already beginning." You stated, pointing to your scraped knee, the raw flesh trying to heal. Your response got a laugh out of Bill and his laugh rubbed off on you, making the two of you look like two lunatics laughing in the middle of the square at night - but hey, a zombie friend doesn't seem so bad, right?
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thestarswillguide · 2 months ago
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𝐀𝐚𝐫𝐚𝐯𝐨𝐬 — 𝐖𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐒/𝐎 𝐢𝐬 𝐌𝐞𝐧𝐬𝐭𝐫𝐮𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠
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Pairing: Aaravos x gn!afab!reader
Summary: Headcanons of how your charming partner takes care of you while you're on your period ᡣ𐭩
Content/Warnings: Fluff, reader having period symptoms like cramps, mood swings, nausea (vomit mention), and of course, Aaravos being a sweetie pie (no judgment, embracing & sitting on his lap, a little kiss, elf heating pad, him perfectly tracking your cycle, etc.). Meant to be fallen Aaravos, but these hcs are pretty much the same when he's pre-fallen <3 (wc: 460)
A/N: I would've written this yesterday, but I was too sick with cramps, so here it is today lol. I really wish it wasn't so short but I ran out of ideas ☹️. Anyway, star daddy's here to make it all better! 😚 (tdp masterlist)
Divider/Image Credit: @/princessantisocial & @/firefly-graphics | Image by @/saigar-art
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✧ The first time Aaravos saw you clutching your abdomen, groaning and whimpering in pain, he instantly knew the cause was menstrual pain.
✧ Of course he's mature about it, neither bothered nor disgusted. To him, it's just as natural and necessary as any other process in life. Not only that, but he's also had five thousand years to "ponder the deepest mysteries of the universe," and has most definitely met lots of mortals; he pretty much knows everything about menstruation, from cramps to hormonal changes, so it's hardly unpredictable or new to him.
✧ Speaking of hormonal changes, he doesn't get mad or lash out when you're having mood swings. If you're angry, he's silent and lets you vent, until you're suddenly sad the next moment, and he just calmly pulls you into his chest. At moments when you get too worked up though, he leaves you be, to have time to yourself and cool off. Whatever your mood is, he knows that you're really just feeling bad and icky, in need of comfort, so he always offers you your favorite heating pad: his hands.
✧ He burns nowhere near as brightly as he once did, so instead he settled for using Sun magic to raise his temperature for you. Whenever you're having bad cramps, he pulls you into his lap—your back to his chest—and presses his hand against your tummy, rubbing it in soothing circular motions. The heat along with the massaging always does wonders for you, and Aaravos smiles as he feels you start to relax, pressing a kiss to the top of your head. He knows how much you adore his voice, too, so he recites poetry and stories of old until you fall asleep. <3
✧ Somehow he always seems to know the approximate dates of your cycle: when it may start, when it will stop, when you'll ovulate (😏), and repeat. Expect your necessities, warm baths, and something to intake that's also warm like a bowl of soup on the first day. If you want him to spoon-feed you, he smirks and lets out a light chuckle, obliging you because how could he not?
✧ He also uses the healing/medicinal properties of Earth magic, whether from his own connection or from plants (animals too maybe idk). If you get nausea during your period and have to vomit somewhere (like me 🥲), he rubs your back with a pained expression. It hurts him to see his lovely like this, but he's always there to help you through it.
✧ And there's no need for you to worry about his vengeful plans; he has all the time in the world, so don't think his vendetta will keep his loving, secure arms from being wrapped around you.
✧ Fallen or not, Aaravos is a caring partner, and he'll always make sure you, his little star, are alright. Especially during your time of the month. ❤︎₊ ⊹
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𝘓𝘪𝘬𝘦, 𝘤𝘰𝘮𝘮𝘦𝘯𝘵 𝘢𝘯𝘥/𝘰𝘳 𝘳𝘦𝘣𝘭𝘰𝘨 = 𝘢 𝘴𝘮𝘰𝘰𝘤𝘩 𝘧𝘳𝘰𝘮 𝘮𝘦 😚🩷
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calangolengo · 7 months ago
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Some headcanons that I think about a lot for Mute!Stan:
1. He didn't stop talking right away, it was a gradual process. Each year he spoke less, which got him into less trouble as a criminal, he had to do horrible things to himself to control his tongue and speak softly, he was yelled at a lot on the streets to shut up.
2. He learned some sign language on the street, but he wasn't fluent so he still had to speak sometimes.
3. When he got Ford's card he was barely speaking anymore, talking to his brother was one thing since his voice had been out of use for months already.
4. After Ford falls into the portal, Stan organizes his own funeral, his mother almost recognizes his voice because it was very different from Ford's at this point, so he decides to stop talking completely. People saw this as a response to the trauma of losing his brother so they didn't talk much about it.
5. Stan still opened the Mystery Shack, but without the guided tours. He simply made it more like a museum. He placed a speaker in front of each strange object where he recorded some descriptions of the creatures in advance, alone, at night.
6. He spread several speakers throughout the cabin with price information and random curiosities. As well as a larger speaker that constantly repeated that they did not accept refunds at the Mystery Shack.
7. The tours were created by Soos. As a child, he would visit the cabin with his grandmother and, since she was bad with the speakers, he would invent descriptions of the objects himself, which always gathered a small crowd around him who bought many more things on the way out. Stan hired him almost immediately.
8. Soos quickly learned sign language to talk to Stan and later taught Wendy, who also went to work there.
9. The kids learned sign language at home when they learned they were going to stay with their estranged great uncle who they had only heard about and who was apparently mute. It was a challenging project for them. Dipper learned it to challenge himself academically and Mabel learned it because it was fun to use a secret language and also because she thought it was like creating spells with her hands. They weren't very good, but they managed well.
10. When the portal is reactivated, Mabel is still left with the decision of whether to turn it off or not and for the first time in years Stan speaks and asks her not to turn it down, which shocks everyone because they thought Stan was mute since birth.
11. Ford is not happy when he comes back and Stan doesn't talk to him, despite all his knowledge of sign language it was never something that caught his attention and he suspects that Stan is just doing it just to be a jerk.
12. The kids get upset with Stan for being able to talk all that time and refuse to acknowledge his sign language for the rest of the day, avoiding looking at his hands the whole time, Stan panics and basically Soos is the only one who makes communication between Stan and the others viable because he translates everything Stan says.
13. The kids talk to Stan again the next day because he seems miserable for not being able to talk to them and also because they are so used to this type of communication that they forget that they were ignoring him.
14. Ford is the hardest to accommodate; when he's not deliberately ignoring Stan, he tries to catch him off guard so he'll talk. At one point, an argument starts at night on the porch, demanding that his brother talk, which leads Stan to try to talk again, but can't because he's desperate and has a panic attack.
15. During Weirdmageddon, they still switch identities, with Stan speaking and acting exactly like Ford. Bill is tricked because he knows that one of the twins can't talk and ends up being erased with Stan's mind.
16. When his memory is erased, Stan starts talking again. It takes a while for his voice to come back because he didn't use it much. The children still use sign language while talking to him to try to bring his memories back. The scrapbook works little by little.
17. With each passing day, Stan remembers a little more and each day he talks less until, by the time Stan and Ford get on their boat, he has all his memory restored and has stopped talking completely again.
18. Stan speaks few words sometimes, he says his brother's name, a few words of comfort or a greeting, only to Ford and in a low tone of voice, it doesn't happen much but whenever it does it brings Ford to tears, he preserves each of these moments as treasures.
That's it for now, I've been thinking a lot about Mute Stan in the last few days and I wanted to express these thoughts a little, whoever wants to add more things or take over the narrative from here on out, feel free, the floor is open.
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smilingcrittersthingig · 8 months ago
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A lotta you said I can show some ocs so you can have these guys I made and my friends created/helped, who I call the Ugly Critters! (edit: for no reason other than it sounded funny, it's not meant to be degrading)
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I'll start it off with Gar the strange creature, my lil guy. Awkward and quiet. Gar is usually not that talkative. On the rare instance he does however, he usually speaks in single words or broken english. Despite looking off-putting, he's a very sweet guy.
His pendant's a button
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Next is Bitu the blib, created by my friendo and co-creator of ego critters @thenightmarestudio He's just a lil blob who tell you fun facts, his face are emoticons that can change depending on his emotions and is a pretty silly dude. He loves to go off about the things he love and will gladly talk to you about it if you are willing to listen. His pendant's his face
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Kloob, a blobfish! suggested by my friend, Child He's pretty good at most stuff, only problem is he's too sad to do anything. He tends to sit at the corner or lay on the floor. Though, on good days he might even stand up! He's willing to go along with whatever his close friends drag him to. His pendant's a sad rose I think
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Make way make way, for it is Manaso the snake! Suggested by my friend, Ducky He's a witch who entertains people with his magic and spells, Whether or not his magic is true is still a mystery. He acts as if he doesn't care, but say one wrong thing around him and you might never be heard of ever again. His pendant's a star
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Roquefort the Lamprey! Suggested by @theonetruegnome A simple con artist, scamming you with fake medicine. He has quite a sharp tongue as well, only being a little nicer to a couple close friends (Manaso's his mortal enemy). He sells effective medicine sometimes too, though those ones are a tad more expensive His pendant's a medicine bottle I think
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Glorbok, weird creature created by @mateom31 He will bite ur ankles hard. Unless he likes you, then you will simply be gently bitten. Despite how he appears, Glorbok is quite a cute buddy to have around, well unless you're fine random gremlin moments. His pendant's a bitten off piece of styrofoam
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It's just your luck, it's Lucky! Suggested by my brother A very unfortunate dino with a very ironic name. He tries his best to look on the bright side of things, but it's quite difficult when the bright side feels like it's avoiding you. His pendant's an umbrella
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It's Birdie Tree the bird! Suggested by my gf Appears at random times to surprise people and disappears abruptly without warning anyone. He gets a vision of something from 3 months in the future and talks about it vaguely to his friends who has no idea if he's being legit.
That's all of them, thx for reading through this
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witchofhimring · 2 years ago
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Until there comes another
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This series is being edited. I feel Alys came off as one dimensionally evil and the reader as a pretty flat character. So this will be heavily edited.
Queen you shall be, until there comes another, younger and more beautiful, to cast you down and take all you hold dear
Pairings:
Aemond Targaryen x Reader
Aemond Targaryen x Alys Rivers
Part 1: Queen you shall be
Part 3: Younger and more beautiful
Warnings: angst, cheating, mentions of stillbirth/miscarriages, death
How did it comes to this? A year ago you had been Queen of the Seven Kingdoms. Now you were simply Lady Y/n, the King's former partner. By the Gods you had fought with everything you had. Your family and friends had thrown their support behind you. But it was no use against the Kings will. The High Septon and mysteriously died, some said of poison. Whether or not it was true mattered no, he was dead. Shortly after the King had a catspaw for the Septon. Then, in a trial you had been forbidden, the marriage had been dissolved. Twenty years erased without a thought.
The end was swift. They removed your title, your finery, your ladies and lastly your daughter. You cried out as Daenerys, newly thrust into adulthood, desperately clung to on. Your little girl was ripped from your arms. Aemond did not extend his mercy. Not even then. Your daughter was taken to a far off room, hardly fit for a Princess. You were not even given a place within the palace. A sept in the heart of the West was your new prison. Far away from any true help. The only one they felt you with was Floris Baratheon, who accompanied you all the way.
You tried to write to your daughter to the best of your abilities. But you never received a reply. Whether she ever got them was unknown to you. But you did get messages snuck in from the other lords and ladies who supported your cause. All loyalty to your husband must cease for the sake of your only child. Plotting did not cure the constant dreariness you felt locked in these ancient stone halls. They seemed to close in around you. The only people there were the Silent Sisters. Silent as the grave. You might have gone mad if you had not been hard at work to plan your daughters future and Floris.
The day, stuffed in an apple core, there was left a rolled up note. You made sure you were utterly alone before unraveling it.
Your Grace,
I have heard you plight from across the sea. In your position the situation is dire. But I have come with an offer that will please both parties, Gods willing. As the only surviving child of Queen Rhaenyra Targaryen I wish to extend my hand to your daughter, Princess Daenerys Targaryen. This match will satisfy both parties and unite out houses. Please leave your reply under your mattress, one of my informants will receive it.
King Viserys Targaryen, Second of His Name
You new this was an incredible risk. It might not even by the long lost Prince who you had once lead armies against. But it was all or nothing.
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You had wanted to leave this place for so so long. Three years inside its confinements and you would be leaving. Only it was not in the way you expected. Three months ago you woke with a great pain in your belly. It took hours to subside only to come the next day. And from then the decline was swift. You lost weight, hair thinned, your eyes became bloodshot. Still, you fought on. You stayed up conspiring with the exiled Prince. You had come to accept this was the way things would go.
Life was not easy for the royal family from what you heard. Alys, now Queen Alys, was vastly unpopular. It gave you a slight satisfaction to hear that people called your name during her coronation. She was finding out that being Queen was more than just enjoying power. It was carrying the complete weight of Westeros on your shoulders. From what you heard she no longer glided through the halls confidently. And her fertility, unfortunately, was no better than yours. She had lost two babies, finally, she had a daughter. A baby girl who most considered a bastard. You pitied this baby. This poor girl would not receive the same support your little girl would. She may receive the title your girl once, but it would never truly be hers.
One day, Alys visited you. It was not a total surprise. Somehow you knew that one day, when her hour was darkest, she would come. Whether to seeks advice or cursed you was unknown. You sipped the tea your belly would allow in. The moment Alys entered Floris hissed like a cat. She stood up but you held her hand. "To what do I owe this pleasure." The words were polite enough, however you remained seated in your chair. You felt no need to feel ashamed at your predicament. You had done nothing wrong and this woman knew it. Gone was the beautiful Alys of four years ago. You now saw something of yourself in her. She bent over slightly, a testament to how her breasts now ached. Her hair had lost its fine luster and hung lose about her like a mop. "Lady Floris, I will ask that you leave the room." "I will do so if the Queen requests it." She replied stubbornly. "And your Queen has just given a command." "Wearing another woman's things hardly makes you the Queen." Floris replied stubbornly. You knew this would not end well. Alys had guards just outside the door. "Floris, please wait outside. I doubt I shall be in danger." She looked ready to defy you. But upon seeing the resilient look in your eyes, finally departed. She knew from that look you would be fine. "So, you have come to visit." You said once the door had closed. Alys took a seat in front of you. Labored huffs escaped her. "The King has offered you amnesty and a comfortable retirement should you only deny you were ever Queen." So, she had come to challenge you. "I like to make a habit of telling the truth, Lady Alys. I do not think I will stop now." Alys's nails scrapped the wooden chair. "You are ill. I doubt you shall last much longer. If you were to die in favour of the King she would be well looked after." "Of course she will. Princess Daenerys is the next Queen." Alys sneered. "My daughter is next in line." She sneered. "As mine once was. And look where she is now." With a stumbled Alys lurched to her feet. "Is that a threat!" She hissed. You simply took another sip of tea. "When you married the King you set a president. Now any woman must watch out, for another just might take her place. And all daughters must fear for their place. Tell me Alys. If you fare no better than I what shall become of yours?" Alys was struggling to breath. You gestured to the tea pot. Alys drank before slumping back into her chair. "If I can not do this....if I can not give him at least this." She mumbled. Pityingly, you looked at her. "There is much, you will find, you can not give a man who has the world at his feet.
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Your death drew closer. By the hour of the wolf you knew this was the end. They had allowed you this moment of solitude. One last meal before you were tucked into bed. Your eyes had become hazy, your belly hurt. You could hear Floris's sobs as the minutes went by. "Oh Floris. You are so good to me." Your cold fingers brushed her head. Tears rolled down her face and onto the sheets as she prayed to the Seven. Despite everything you felt as peace. You had done your best. Gods willing your daughter would be Queen one day. Queen Daenerys Targaryen. The words sounded so sweet to you. "Floris, please get me some paper." Floris protested, saying you needed to rest. You simply smiled. "My Lady, I shall get plenty of sleep soon." Paper was brought and you drafter your last note.
My beloved daughter,
I hour of my death comes I leave if the knowledge that you will be protected. For even if my woes the thought of you in despair gives me greater sorrow than anything I could suffer. Daenerys, you must be strong. The path ahead will not be an easy one and I am so sorry there was little I could do. As a mother it is my greatest wish to ensure the happiness of my child. I want you to be happy. Know that even gone I watch over you. I have always loved you, more than any worldly riches. You may feel alone at times, but I want you to know my love for you will never die.
Be Strong. I love you.
Queen Y/n
Y/n's hand slackened and took lost consciousness. And as her final moments drifted by she thought of a beautiful girl with silver hair, wearing a crown.
Floris's wails heralded a new dawn.
Note: Two down, two to go! I know this was probably not the ending you guys wanted for the reader but its a much better one than Alys will get. Also y'all comparing Alys to Rashta from Remarried Empress had me cracking😂.
Taglist:
@watercolorskyy
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aziraphales-library · 10 months ago
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Hi there!!! I was wondering if you happened to have any fics where Crowley calls Aziraphale ‘sweetheart’? Any other pet names are amazing (including angel of course) but I’m just very in love with the idea of Crowley calling Aziraphale sweetheart
Thank you so much for all you hard work!! This blog is a lifesaver <3
Hello! We have a #pet names tag you might enjoy, but here are some fics in which Crowley calls Aziraphale sweetheart...
Four times Crowley called Aziraphale "sweetheart" without noticing (and One time he did) by TheLadyZephyr (NR)
"Sweetheart" (1290) - A person who is very dear to another; one who is loved. From sweet (adj.) + heart (n.) Over the years, Crowley has called Aziraphale "sweetheart" on at least four different occasions. He just hasn't actually noticed himself saying it.
In love, I am, with everything you do by 2ambiace (G)
Following the phone call with Crowley during lockdown, Aziraphale contemplates the letter he wrote and whether he should've taken Crowley up on his offer to 'slither over' and watch him eat cake. Aziraphale finds the courage in his love for Crowley to invite the demon over and cake and love confessions and kisses are shared.
Let Our Epilogue Be Soft And Sweet by Tenoko1 (T)
Crowley hit his palm against the steering wheel. “Of course I’d get upset, angel! Those bastards have tried to kill you twice, Aziraphale! Twice! I spend every damn day worried they might try again! Now-- Now-- your conveniently found and rescued angel is on the loose,” the road forked, and they veered off to a smaller country road, flying past a sign Aziraphale didn’t need to see to recognize, though Crowley gestured wildly to it, “in a god-forsaken national park? Well outside of London where no one can hear you scream? This mystery angel that just so happens to be leaking grace and emoting a distress signal so loud you can still sense it?” Crowley dragged a hand down his face. “Angel, sweetheart. Wake up and smell the trap.”
Waking Up Married by Caedmon (E)
"So you’re telling me that my options are either to convince this man I just met and drunkenly married to stay married to me for six months or lose two thirds of a billion pounds?” “That’s exactly what I’m telling you,” Fergus said. “Fucking shit,” Crowley spat. He hung up the phone and stared at it for a moment before rubbing his eyes with his fists. Now his job would be twice as hard. He needed to talk Aziraphale into staying married for six months. Should he try begging or bribing? This was a huge ask, and Aziraphale would be well within his rights to tell Crowley to fuck off. But Crowley was prepared to offer him pretty much anything, up to half of the trust, if that’s what it took. He didn’t care. But that was only part of his concern. Even if he got insanely lucky and Aziraphale agreed to stay legally married to him for the next six months, how the hell was he going to talk Aziraphale into dating him during that time? And was it foolish to even try? One thing at a time, he decided. First, he needed to convince Aziraphale to stay legally married to him. Then he could set about wooing his husband. He hoped.
flightless by viperinz (T)
Crowley finds Aziraphale injured and without his wings long after he stops the Second Coming all on his own. He just didn't expect their reunion to be so morose, and so final.
Sugar And Spice by ladydragona, SylWritesStuff (E)
Queer technology giant Anthony J. Crowley is just about ready to throw in the towel after relationship after relationship has failed, but there's a new barista at the company coffee shop and he's cute and sweet and Crowley's never been able to resist blond hair and blue eyes. The tabloids will have a field day, they always do, but his assistant is getting married and a temp is needed. A temp who really isn't very good at making complicated coffees, has past experience in reception, and absolutely no idea that the latest complicated coffee order came from the owner himself. Aziraphale only knows that he's handsome, patient, and was the first person who told him he was doing well. How could he refuse the temp position? Or, he soon discovers, more.
- Mod D
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alittlebitofloveliness · 3 months ago
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Ticket to Anywhere
This is my Valentine's gift fic for @qprpbj You mentioned Paul/Darry in your prompt and I saw a post of yours about the lyrics of "Fast Car" by tracy chapman being Peril coded, so I wrote a songfic based on that. I hope you enjoy <3
Word count: 2760
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You got a fast car
It’s a cold day in February of their junior year when Paul turns sixteen and shows up in the school parking lot in a brand new AC Cobra. It’s so shiny it gleams, painted a deep blue-black colour that’s almost a match for Paul’s eyes and a perfect match for his letterman jacket. For a second, jealousy flares so strong it burns up Darry’s throat until it chokes him, because he can pretend to be one of them all he wants, but he never will be, not really. He could never afford a car like that, not in a million years, one that costs more than his dad makes in a year, easy. His own birthday had passed a few months back, and the closest he got to getting any car was dad saying he’d start teaching him to drive and that once he got his license he could borrow the truck now and then. 
So he watches, envious, as Paul shuts the door, his stupid sunglasses perched on the bridge of his nose, and Chrissy Smythe practically throws herself at him. She might as well be drooling, though whether it’s over Paul or the car, Darry isn’t sure. In any case, it doesn’t seem to matter, because Paul extricates himself from her simpering as quickly as he can without being rude and catches Darry’s eye with a grin.
“Nice car,” Darry says, because it is, any idiot could see that. It’s the kind of car Steve and Soda rhapsodize about, the ones Darry’s sure Steve is gonna try and steal one day. 
“Thanks,” Paul grins and tosses him a set of keys, “wanna take her for a spin after school?”
His eyes are twinkling, deep blue and mysterious and soft in a way Darry knows is just for him, a deadly secret swaddled in daydreams. Just like that the envy evaporates.
“Sure.”
Paul offers him a fist bump, the tap of their knuckles the closest they can get to holding hands in public. The contact still makes his heart race anyway. 
And I want a ticket to anywhere
“Theatre tonight?” Paul asks when they’re in the locker room after practice one Friday. He’s in just his boxers, towel slung haphazardly around his neck, hair still wet from the shower. Darry is being very careful not to stare, and even more careful not to hyperventilate. He should be used to this by now, after almost three years of being on the team together, but the thing about stars is that they’re hard to look away from, and Paul has always been the brightest star in Darry’s galaxy. It makes it hard to think. 
“Sounds like a plan. Who else is coming?” Is it date night or a hangout is what he’s really asking and Paul is even more casually nonchalant when he answers.
“I invited Chase and Angelina but they’ve got other plans, and Joey’s little sister is sick so it might just be the two of us, unless you got anyone else you wanna invite.”
“Maybe I’ll ask if Carla wants to come.” He says even though they both know he absolutely won't. 
“Cool,” Paul agrees, finally putting a shirt on, a soft looking Madras flannel Darry wants to steal. They bid their farewells to the rest of the team and Darry grabs both their duffel bags as they walk side by side out to the parking lot. 
Paul lights a cigarette while he tosses the equipment into the back of the Cobra. Darry pretends he doesn’t see the way Paul is checking him out, and flexes a bit more than is necessary when tossing around relatively light equipment bags.
Then Paul tosses him the keys to the car Darry knows he should never have had a chance to drive, and tells him to go faster until they’re flying down the back roads, sun in their hair and wind stealing the laughter from their mouths. They eat dinner at a greasy spoon in the middle of town between the east side and west side, and don’t talk about it. Paul pays for everything and Darry pretends it doesn’t send a familiar wave of embarrassment down his spine, even though he knows it’s the only way Paul knows how to show he cares sometimes. 
It’s getting dark by the time they reach the theatre and they’re running later than they meant to. Paul buys two tickets to the first movie he sees listed on the board, and neither of them have any idea what it’s about, but it doesn’t matter much anyway when they reach into the popcorn bucket held between them and their hands brush.
Maybe we make a deal
Maybe together we can get somewhere
“You ever think about getting out of here?” Darry asks one night when they’re lying on the grass in Paul’s backyard, staring up at the stars. It’s a bit chilly out, but Paul is warm pressed against his side, head tucked into the crook of his shoulder. He smells like fancy cologne and fabric starch and beneath that, sweat, and it’s so uniquely Paul that it drives Darry a little crazy. 
It’s a soft night tonight, just the two of them in Paul's almost perpetually empty house, his dad on another business trip and his mom back in some rehab centre rich folks call a wellness retreat. Paul is in an even better mood than usual, bright eyes almost feverish in their shine, and he’d been the one to convince Darry that stargazing of all things was a better date night activity than watching a movie. Now, he lifts Darry’s hand in his to press a kiss to the back of his palm, and hums.
“Out of where? Tulsa?”
“Yeah.”
Paul laughs, once, a bright chuckle, like a firefly in a forest, there and then gone again, fleeting and beautiful. 
“I don’t just think about it, I’m planning for it.”
“Oh.” It’s times like these that the true gulf between them smacks Darry in the face, when he remembers how truly different their worlds are. For some reason he can sit in Paul’s thousand dollar car and visit his giant house and not feel it, but then they have conversations like this and he remembers it. Paul doesn’t need to wonder about getting out of Tulsa because it’s already a done deal, because he’s been accepted to any college he wants before he’s even applied because the Holdens sit on a fortune and his mom has connections at Yale. Darry on the other hand…well, they’re not even seniors yet and he’s terrified. He already spoke to coach about extra training over the summer, and he’s been saving every penny from his job at the diner, because even if he manages a full scholarship he’ll still have to afford textbooks and board and everything else. His grades are fine for right now, but next year they need to be perfect. He needs to be perfect because he doesn’t have the luxury of second chances. He can’t make a mistake.
Paul starts talking about MIT and Yale, voice soft in the darkness, and Darry thrusts the whole thing from his mind, pressing a kiss to Paul’s lips to shut him up, because Paul is getting out of Tulsa and Darry doesn’t know if he’ll ever get the chance to; and because it’s clear from Paul’s rambling that him getting out doesn’t involve keeping Darry, doesn’t involve staying them, and for some reason that stings more than the thought of never getting out of Tulsa at all. 
He wants to bring it up, wants to make him promise they’ll stay together even if it’s a lie, but Paul never makes a promise he can’t keep and Darry knows asking him to tonight would be a certain kind of cruelty he doesn't have in him. They kiss under the stars and Darry wishes there was some way he could love him and lose him without it feeling like an inevitable, final, ruining blow to the chest. 
Any place is better
He shows up on Paul’s doorstep one night, just two months into their senior year, tears streaming down his cheeks. He’s always been big, broad shoulders and a tall frame, and it’s a terrible mockery of the universe, that he is such a big person and yet completely and entirely helpless, small in the face of the problems of the world.
He all but collapses into Paul’s arms, and Paul catches him like he always does, warm and solid and everything he wants and has but never completely, and he wants to leave Tulsa and never come back. 
Eventually Paul hauls him upstairs to his room, and they curl up together under his comforter. Paul is everywhere, and the sheets smell like him, and slowly the tears subside enough for Darry to hiccup out an account of Soda’s bruised face mottled black and blue, of Steve’s shattered ankle, and Ponyboy’s tiny, shaking hand raising a cigarette to his lips for the first time ever and far too soon while he watched dad put stitches in Soda’s sluggishly bleeding forehead. 
He tells his soc lover about his beat up greaser brothers and he is loyal to all of them and none of them and it doesn’t matter anyway because he’s helpless. He can’t stop the violence or the hate any more than he can save Pony and Soda, or even himself,  from their side of the tracks. For a second he hates Tulsa Oklahoma so much it sickens him, a slow poison sticking in his throat and choking him, making it hard for him to breathe or cry or think.
He had to get out, he tells Paul, had to get out of that house, away from his brothers’ fear and Steve’s anger, and the resignation in Pony’s frightened eyes that at only eleven years old were far too used to far too horrible things. He had to get out, just for the night.
It’s a lie. As he falls asleep, Paul’s arms warm and safe around him, he promises himself he will find a way out of Tulsa if it’s the last thing he ever does. One day, he swears, he’ll leave and never look back.
Starting from zero, got nothing to lose
Maybe we'll make something
Me, myself, I got nothing to prove
Darry was born on the east side to a father who worked construction and a mother who worked a factory job up until he was born and every odd job she could find afterwards. He’s a blue collar boy from a blue collar family, in a blue collar neighborhood. Needless to say, he’s no stranger to hard work. Still, as he moves into his last year of high school he works harder than he ever has before. If he isn’t playing football, he’s practicing it, and if he isn’t practicing it he’s doing homework, and if he's not doing homework or football he’s scrubbing plates in the dish pit at his job. Family, friends, and a social life take a backseat, sleep becomes an afterthought, and yet it will all be worth it when he gets a scholarship- any scholarship- for football or academics it doesn’t matter, to any college that will take him. All he needs is an acceptance letter with a full ride, enough money offered that he can leave, leave the second he graduates instead of sticking around for a year and working, trying to save enough to get out. He knows better than to try, knows if he doesn’t get his ticket out paid in full he’ll never leave this godforsaken town, no matter how much he wants to, knows there will always be something else holding him back. 
For the first time since he kissed Paul back in sophomore year, they’re fighting. Paul thinks Darry doesn’t care, is pouting in the way only someone who has only ever had everything can pout, and he refuses to see Darry’s side no matter how many times he explains it. Darry’s frustrated and tired and so stupidly, desperately in love that he promises to work on it, and Paul promises to try harder to understand, and things aren’t perfect, but they’re not gone, and Darry promises himself the slight distance between them will be worth it when he wins his scholarship.
In the end, it doesn’t matter at all and it never did. None of it is worth it, because Darry gets five college acceptance letters, and two partial scholarships, and neither of them are enough. 
He’s not going to college.
You got a fast car
And I got a plan to get us out of here
“Will you come with me?” Darry asks when Paul finds him, because Paul knows, better than anyone, how much he hates this town and how badly he wanted to get out. It makes sense then, that he knew without Darry having to say it how determined he still is to go somewhere, anywhere that isn’t here, even if college is off the table.
Paul’s deep blue eyes go very glossy very fast.
“I can’t.” 
Of course. Of course he can’t, and Darry knows why, knows all about the acceptance letter to Yale tossed carelessly on his bedside table, for a program Paul didn’t even want. Knows Paul would be beyond stupid to throw it away, and wishes he loved him enough to do it anyway. 
“Ok.” Darry nods, and Paul’s hands curl into fists because he hates apathy from Darry, for all that it’s his own weapon of choice. Darry figures he loves him enough and owes him enough to end it the way Paul wants, so they fight, and Paul leaves, and it hurts as much as he knew it would a year ago, that night when he realized this was the only way it could end. 
He finishes the semester with a bleeding heart that's been broken twice over, wondering why the curse of the east side meant he was never enough, even when he was the best of them all. 
And then Paul comes back.
Been working at the convenience store
Managed to save just a little bit of money
He has money saved is the thing. Not a lot, but enough, every spare cent from the dish pit at Al’s diner carefully squirreled away into a fund that was meant to be for textbooks and now is meant for something different, something more. It’s a lifeline, not quite a ticket out, but an escape nevertheless. 
He hands in his resignation the same day he walks across the stage to get his diploma, and doesn’t look back. 
Won't have to drive too far
Just across the border and into the city
And you and I can both get jobs
Paul picks him up, the day they’re set to leave, in the same AC Cobra he let Darry drive back when they were sixteen. 
His parents don’t understand it, but they hug him goodbye and they love him anyway. Soda is understanding, but his eyes are sad, and Pony seems betrayed but there’s a look in him that’s beyond the kind of understanding Soda always wears, something Darry thinks might reasonably be called kinship, as he pulls away and Pony tucks himself into Johnny’s side like he was made to fit there.
Darry claps Dallas on the shoulder, hugs Two-bit tightly, and ruffles both Steve and Johnny’s hair before he hefts his bag and follows Paul back to the car. There’s a piece of him that wishes he’d spent more time with his family this past year, but it’s a hollow ache of a vague could have been, and it pales in comparison to the elation that comes with getting out, of the relief that comes with not being stuck. 
“You ready?” 
Paul is as beautiful as he’s always been, those stupid sunglasses perched once again on his nose.
“Yeah,” Darry sighs, and it feels like he can relax, finally, for the first time in his life, “I am.”
There’s a map in the cupholder, creased and scribbled on, with directions to New York City, and a note in his pocket with the address of their new apartment in his breath pocket. The air smells like adventure.
“Let’s go build a life together.” Paul smiles, carefree and happy, and Darry loves him so much he can’t even really describe it. 
The car turns the corner. He doesn’t look back.
Finally see what it means to be living
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