#god im so sorry i should be put down like a dog

[tamaharu]

okay thats interesting! in the SF try-outs during the song "legally blonde" she sings about how she cant be legally blonde, while in the official version AND THE DEMO she sings about letting her be legally blonde. which means that at some point they changed the lyrics around, and then changed them back! laurence o'keefe.... nell benjamin.... what occurs in your twisted minds

[deeez-n]

will never get ppl who are unnecessarily mean to animals

[lilgynt]

no i don’t care that most of my moms commutation to me especially to direct question is just straight up ignoring me or some other form of non verbal communication. like grunting or vague pointing. the glass i broke outside is unrelated

[bukuoshin]

I am fucking NOT going to my dentist today

[uglygirltrying]

May i request Soap and Reader dry humping eachother when LT ghost walks in??🥺🥺

[yes i saw the post and ITS A NEED, only if u wanna ofc <3]

Yes ofc! :))

I'll make an assumption and just continue from that thought :P umm i didn't want to give the reader a callsign im sorry if that makes this bad😭🙏

ghost didn't sleep well most nights. most nights were made of pacing around, or zoning out by the common room's television. and that was his plan that night as well.

he thought that it would be peaceful like any other night, and maybe even more so, if his two sergeants had got worn out from their ride.

but as he made his way down the hallway from his room, and got closer to the common room, strange noises hit his ear.

now, with hesitance, but also curiosity, ghost slowly walked to the end of the hallway.

and he certainly wasn't expecting the scene in the common room.

his two sergeants. his two soldiers, rutting against each other, on the common room's couch. the lieutenant had to hold back a chuckle at the sight, the pair were going at it like desperate animals.

unsurprisingly, soap was making noise like a whiny puppy. not like his pretty sergeant wasn't whimpering at the feeling as well. the dirty mutt soap, was ruining his pretty sergeant. making her pussy wet, without enough effort to make her cum.

ghost couldn't quite see, but he could bet there was soaking wet spots on their uniforms.

soap was moving carelessly, thinking with his cock, and only for his cock. his dog brain couldn't process what a pretty thing he was rutting against. what a pretty cunt, that deserved to have her fill as well.

the scotsman was only getting louder, and closer to his release. ghost felt his cock throb in his sweatpants. god, was he hard. but he couldn't just watch from the side, as his pretty soldier was getting neglected.

soap should be thankful. he should be on his knees, begging to get a taste of their pretty girls pussy.

but no. the mutt didn't have any manners. he needed to be put in his place.

neither of the dummies noticed when he walked closer, too distracted for their own good.

ghost's big, calloused hand quickly reached out, and grabbed onto the scotsman's sweaty mohawk, yanking his head up to look at him. soap immediately stilled, a confused and spooked.

"l-lt... hey..." soap nervously chuckled, still panting.

ghost glared down at soap, his cold eyes focused on his. ghost kept a tight grip on his hair, and looked down at his pretty sergeant, laying beneath soap. she looked just as frightened as soap, scared of being in trouble.

"selfish, ain't he?" it was more of a statement, than a question. soap pouted at his lieutenants words.

ghost smirked, as his pretty soldier shyly nodded her head. his free hand reached down, and brushed strands of her hair off her forehead.

ghost just looked down at her for a moment, before turning back to soap. he yanked on soap's hair again.

"get off of her, sergeant." ghost murmured deeply.

soap scrambled to back away from in between her legs. there was a obvious bulge on his cargo pants, with a wet spot forming on top.

ghost meanly chuckled at his submission. the lieutenant turned his head down again, looking down at his pretty sergeant. his hand traveled down, cupping her crotch. it was warm, a little moist too. most of it probably from soap.

his pretty soldier whimpered at the touch, shyly curling up.

"bet yer wearing something pretty underneath..." ghost murmured into her ear, his hot breath hitting her skin.

ghost turned to glare at soap. "and he didn't even think to take a look..." he continued.

soap was panting at the other end of the coach, his dick hard in his pants, as he tried not to touch himself. his lieutenant had caught them. he had caught his sergeants, rutting against each other like animals in heat.

and he didn't yell. he didnt file for transfers. he didn't punish them... well, this probably was soaps punishments, to watch from the side, while their lieutenant touched the precious girl's pussy.

ghost opened his pretty sergeant's pants, and pulled them down her thighs. underneath, she was wearing pretty, white panties. ghost chuckled at the sight. a wet patch on the panties, making them transparent, and revealing her sweet pussy. nice puffy lips, and a little bush above her hard nub.

ghost looked up at soap again. "take off 'er trousers, sergeant." he commanded him.

soap scrambled to pull down the other sergeants pants, as his commanding officer stared down at him. once her pants were thrown to the side, soap was face to face with her white panties. before he even knew it, ghost's hand had pushed his head down, his face down against her clothed pussy.

their pretty sergeant squealed at the sudden feeling of soap's nose pressing on her clit, with his hot breath hit her fluttering hole.

"lick it, mutt." ghost's commanded in his deep voice.

the scotsman's tongue immediately got to work, licking up and down the panty covered pussy, the wet patch only getting bigger with soap's saliva. he didn't care if he couldn't breathe properly, he'd gladly die just there.

ghost had to hold down their whimpering soldier, as she squirmed around. her chest moved with her heavy breathes, her legs twitching at the feeling of a hot tongue on her pussy.

"l-lieutenant..." she whimpered. ghost reached down and brushed her cheek with his thumb.

"good girl. ya wanna cum?" ghost asked, an amused smirk behind his mask. she nodded franticly and desperately, making ghost chuckle. soap must've been listening, his tongue moving faster on her. her pretty, white panties have long gone transparent from his dirty spit.

the lieutenants dark eyes averted for just a moment, only to see his sergeant humping the coach underneath him. what a dog.

both of them were near again. only this time, ghost was here. somebody to make sure, that both of them were taken care of. his own dick was hard as fuck too. he almost couldn't wait to go back to his room, and rub the hell out his cock.

but in this moment, he needed to only focus on them. they were too stupid for their own good. they were lucky it was him who caught them. this could've gone so much worse. they were lucky he was even letting them cum.

ghost snapped out of his thoughts, as his sergeants only got louder. they needed to be over with this quickly, it was only the matter of time, until somebody else walked into the common room.

ghost pushed soap's head down again, his big nose hitting her hard clit. that did it for her, making her cum. arching her back, whimpering, and shaking. soap wasn't far behind. his hips stilled, as he came in his pants. soap lifted his head, his face moist with the mix of her juices and his saliva. their pretty sergeant laid there, twitching and breathing heavily, almost limp.

soap sat up, the front of his cargos, soaked with his cum. ghost chuckled at the sight.

"how's the adrenaline rush now?"

idk i dont have the smut talent that these kind of writings need😭

[icarusredwings]

Was asked what Wade thinks about his skin after his powers and cancer are taken away. If he would cover up still even when it's hot. And I would like to say yes. He automatically does it as muscle memory.

Logan: Why are you covered up? Its july

Wade: babe you know how people think about me. I dont wanna scare the kids

Logan: .... Wade you are quite literally the third hottest guy in our apartment complex..

Wade wont let logan place himself lower then him EVER so he always has to say hes at least the second, but also, this one guy down the hall is a body builder husband and both logan and wade flirt with him sometimes. Its insane.

"LOGAN!! Mr. Plesetski is taking out the trash again!!"

"Really? Again?.. damn..."

*both of them AND puppins at the window*

Al: yall are some freaks..

Harold and Sheryl Plesetski are their neighbors down the hall. Real nice people.

Honestly this is the only man that wade is allowed to flirt with freely without his face getting beat in.

He just kinda rolls his eyes amused because its nice to see wade happy and giddy. Besides. Mr. Plesetski is one of the only people that makes wade feel good about how he looks, he means it as a innocent compliment but wade takes it as flirting.

Wade, in the hall: *pretends to struggle carrying in groceries*

Logan: ? What are you-

Wade: SHH- Oh Mr. Plesetski! Could you please help me? I did chemo today so..

Mr. Plesetski: Hm? Oh yes of course! Your appartments 204 right?

Wade: Yes it is! Thank you so much! Soooo... what are you doing this weekend?

Mr. Plesetski: Oh, no, thank you for asking. Im taking Sheryl mini golfing and then to the lobster shack. You?

Wade: *drooling*

Logan: *nudges him* Hes gonna be sleeping. A lot.

Mr. Plesetski: From the chemo? Im so sorry. You know- Sheryl could knit you a hat if youd like. I know you probably get cold easily. My mother did when she had her breast cancer.

Wade: Uh huh *his ass is not litsening*

Logan: *rolls his eyes smirking and shaking his head* wow

Sometimes Wade still gets jealous if Logan is a bit too interested, tho because Wade thinks compared to Harold. He's like a 0, and he's a 100

Logan: *lingering after 'bumping' into him* Hey so.. Do you know any good gyms around here? Cause.. obviously, you weren't born like that

Mr. Plesetski: *laughs* I actually go to the one over on the corner of 6th. You're free to join me sometime. I know how hard it can be to find a good routine at this age.

Logan: hah.. yeaah... this age.. you're like. What? 35?

Mr. Plesetski: Ha! Close! Im 53.

Logan: damn-

Mr. Plesetski: Excuse me?

Logan: I-i mean.. Im *panics* 62

Mr. Plesetski: *pats his back* Well id say you look pretty good for 62. Alright. Suppose I should get back. It's meatloaf night.

Logan, blushing: H-heh... yeah..

Logan, later: Hey wade? Have you seen my shorts?

Wade, crossing his arms on the couch: Why dont you ask Mr. Plesetski!?

Logan: Oh come on! It's not a big deal!

And then.. you have Carla Boothe...

"Hey Howlie have you- DAMN, Well let me put on my glasses to have a look at ya. God your gorgeous! Winston come look at this ass! It's bigger then yours!"

And unironically, this makes Mr. Plesetski a little uncomfortable but respects her enough not to shoo her away as she pinches his cheek and tells him how cute he is. "Uhhh.. thanks? I-i think Sher is calling.."

"Mh mh mmh. Althea dear you have no clue what youre missing." She tells her partner, who rolls her eyes. "Yall are some sick fucking teases. I hope you know that..."

Hell. Even Puppins likes him, always trying to mark him as hers by peeing on his foot. Or maybe it's because she dislikes her papa flirting with him and not logan. Who knows. Shes a weird dog.

"Whats Mr. Plesetski look like?" You may be asking.

Imagine Hugh jackman had a baby, and the baby daddy is between Pedro Pascal and Oscar Issac.

That is Mr. Plesetski.

[starstruckgoateepuppy]

looking like anne hathaway

sana x f!reader

sypnosis: you have christian parents and dont support your choices but oh how could you not love someone like minatozaki sana

warnings: death, abuse, suicide, homophobia, not proofread

genre: angst

wc: 1.4k

a/n: i read too many poetry on tiktok with sailor song 🙁 this one was actually inspired from a poetry “bloom.” by wavespoetryinc on tiktok pls read it ❤️

dating a girl as a christian girl yourself has to be the most painful experience ever. having to be super careful is not a choice.

you knew it was the biggest sin and secret you have ever done to God and your parents. you felt so guilty but it just felt so right dating her.

sana, your beautiful girlfriend has always cared for you, not caring that you were christian. you saw her in the rightest way, a way that no one else could see her.

she was so special to you, you couldn’t even imagine your life without her.

however, every good thing must come to an end.

-

you sneaked out in the night going to meet your girlfriend, sana, to take a walk. you have done things like this many times, you were basically a master at it.

your parents are extremely strict and would never let you leave the house without them knowing. you wished it was easy to go out, you wish life was easy. you just wanted to live your life freely, not be like a caged dog.

sana was the opposite of you, carefree and loved by everyone. no one would have guessed that she was into girls. every man that tried hitting on her failed. oh how they wished they were you. but sometimes you wished you weren’t yourself.

at first, you wouldn’t admit at all that you liked her. “just a small feeling, just friends it should be fine. the feeling will go away.” you thought to yourself.

it didn’t, it didn’t go away.

now you are doing the most unimaginable sin that you could ever do, dating a girl. you can’t imagine the looks on your parents faces if they ever find out you were dating, not just that but a girl.

somedays you begged for forgiveness, you wanted to have a less heavy heart. the guilt was creeping up to you, but you just couldn’t let go of sana.

-

you were carefully walking with sana around the neighbourhood. hoping no one from your church was nearby and recognised you. for sure they would tell your parents.

you two acted like the closest friends ever. sana understood your situation and felt horrible for you, that just made you fell more in love. you wanted to kiss her, wanted to give her all of your love.

you looked her in the eyes, she looked in yours. you admired every feature of her, no wonder you loved her at first sight.

you bought something for you and her from a convenience store nearby and sat down at a park to eat together. you couldn’t explain how much you adored her. she was so careful with you, you were like clay in her hands. both of you loved each other very much and would always do in every universe.

“click” the sound of sanas camera as she took a picture of the both of you eating a club sandwich with a bottle of sweet tea.

“y/n! this picture is soooo cute! im gonna post it on my instagram” you put her hand on her lap, ruining her enthusiasm which you wished you never had to do.”sana, my love…” “ oh. right..”

you wanted to ask her that it’s alright and she could post it with her favourite songs. “i know baby, im so sorry. one day..”

you hated the fact you had to hide your relationship with her, you hated to hide the fact that you are in love with her. having to hide your love and feelings for each other.

“don’t apologise lovely, i understand” you saw her faint smile in the shallow light. so many things you wanted to do with her, without being scared.

most of the times you felt guilty for sinning, times like this, you felt like she should leave you, like you don’t deserve her. you wanted her to leave, you wanted her to have a better and happier relationship. not to struggle hiding your relationship with her from the world because of you and your parents.

her parents weren’t supportive of their daughter being a lesbian too. they didn’t like it that much but yet sana took the risk and dated you, you don't deserve her.

-

you went out with her once again, this time your parents knew. they were furious, raging with anger, you knew how much they would hurt you but that didn't matter. the most hurtful thing they could ever do is take sana away from you. no matter how many bruises they would give you just wanted to be with sana.

at night once again, you were in the park with sana eating. the tracking app they put on you brought them standing right in front of you as you cuddled sana. the fear in your eyes as you started thinking about everything they would do to you. sana was terrified for you too. she knew how your parents were and was scared of losing you.

you wanted to kneel down in front of your dad blazing with anger but you couldn’t. your mother grabbed your wrist tightly, letting you fall down and forced you to get up. you couldn’t look behind you as you walked away with your parents from sana, but you could hear the screams and sobbing from her. you wanted to tell her that it's okay and she doesn’t need to worry about you. but you just couldn’t bare to see her face anymore.

-

weeks passed, you were never seen by sana for weeks. no text, no message. she cried for days and days, she felt helpless. she wanted to go to your house and take you out of the abusive household, she knew if she did it would just get worse.

nothing seemed right anymore to sana, she stared laying on the grass for days staring at the moon for what seemed like hours.

the moon didn't seem as bright, but she knew you were staring at the same one. she felt guilty for leaving you alone. what could she do? she started imagining the things she used to do with you, she missed you. she remembered when she kissed you for the first time, catching you off guard and looking around frantically for church members.

on your side, slaps and punches were made. bruises formed on your bare skin. cuts and scars appearing, reminding how your parents wanted to kill you. all of that trauma and abuse but you still loved her.

-

“buzz buzz”

a notification on sanas phone.

“hey, can i come over?”

it wasn’t like your usual happy messages, but sana didn't think too much about it, just happy you were okay, or so she thought you were.

“yes! please come baby”

you wanted to tell her not to call you that anymore, but you loved it, you missed how she called you with that adorable voice.

you were in front of her door, waiting for her to open it. when she opened the door, her eyes started welling up and she cried hard, you didn’t look like yourself, you looked like someone that she would never want to see. how you were covered in bruises and cuts, she cried.

“baby…”

“im sorry i never let you get the ability to post us and letting us hold hands and do all those things in public-“ “y/n, don’t please baby the last thing you should do is apologi-“ “no, please let me say what i wanted to tell you for forever. i love you, and you will be the only person that i will love this much. you are the only person that has made me feel like i have shown my true self. all the love, kindness, joy you have given me. i love you so much and if i could say it on the top of a mountain i would.”

she sobbed, she looked into your eyes, wondering why you were saying all this. you could see her confusion, you wiped her cheek with your thumb. “ baby i love you, and in all of the universes ever existing, i loved you and only you. but this just won't work out in this universe. i love you, im sorry” you couldn’t bare seeing her cry, you turned your back on her and left. she screamed, she wanted to run to you but her legs felt weak and numb. she didn’t know what you were gonna do.

after a week, she was at the burial of your body. she wanted to stop everything and get in with you but she sniffed and shed tears. everyone there was crying, she was crying the hardest. she loved you, but you couldn’t love her.

[simplyafountainpen]

Phantom Filled Nights

{𝓟𝓪𝓻𝓲𝓷𝓰𝓼}: Ciel Phantomhive x Older!Brother!Reader x Sebastian Michaelis

{𝓓𝓮𝓼𝓬𝓻𝓲𝓹𝓽𝓲𝓸𝓷}: Life has finally caught up with (Y/n) but he refuses to break down. Ciel and Sebastian help him realize that even Guard Dogs need a break.

{𝓣𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓽𝓼}: Huge amount of angst, fluffy ending, familial reconciliation, Reader has extreme burn scars, Reader is implied to be heavily disfigured, Reader uses cane and has prosthetic, Reader implied to have PTSD to some degree, Reader goes through traumatic flashback (described to the best of my ability)

{𝓡𝓮𝓺𝓾𝓮𝓼𝓽}: ❝I'm always shy when I make a ask, but i'll try. It's about black butler. I was thinking about a reader who is Ciel's big brother, like 3 years more older than ciel (u can choose) Like, male reader is overloaded with something (work or psychological things), you could put sebastian and the rest of them. I'm sorry for my bad English, im trying to not use the translator… i love your writing, btw❤❞ - Sasattan (@sasattan)

When your little brothers disappeared, you were alone. No matter what anyone said or did, you refused to believe that they were dead. And so you waited. You never listened to your Aunt claiming it was time to move on, because how could you when they were still out there, holding on? You had to keep going, keep believing, not letting any lick of hope slip past your fingertips because the day when your two baby brothers would return was soon, you could feel it.

But as you eagerly awaited their return, time passed. And you grew older. And older. And older still. A mere two weeks passed and suddenly, you officially took the title as the Earl of Phantomhive, and the Queen’s Guard Dog. At fourteen years old, you bore responsibilities no child should ever have to.

And you had just turned fifteen years old when only one of your younger brothers returned, with that hellish butler of his.

·:¨༺ ♱✮¨:·ᨐฅ ᨐᵐᵉᵒʷ·:¨✮♱ ༻¨:·˚─── ⋆⋅⛥⋅⋆ ──

Owls cried beyond the window behind you as candle light washed the room you were in with a golden glow. The sound of a pen dashing across pages also filled the room. You sighed, deep and filled with melancholy, as you pushed a stack of pages by another - a finished pile - and grabbed another and quickly began to work. You knew it was long past midnight, all the servants in their quarters asleep.

And hopefully, Ciel as well. You had only just gotten him back a few months back. He had been painfully thin, eyes sunken into his skull and hair ridiculously thin when he returned. No matter how you or your Aunt pried and asked, Ciel wouldn’t answer where he’d been all that time. That one, God awful month of painful waiting. Your one birthday wish - a direct month after the manor burned - was that they would return.

And there Ciel would stand before his tomb. A ghost of the past returned to you in the most awful of ways.

Being the Guard Dog came with the side effect of witnessing the underbelly and gore of an England that worked under the cover of night, drenched in ash and blood. But what that eye held as he stared, limp and lifeless at you as that man, if you even dared call that beast a man, stood behind him smiling like he had won something. It would haunt you.

The pen dropped from your hand and your face fell forward onto the mahogany, falling to the side of the paper you had just been working on with a resounding ‘thump’ that echoed off the walls and reverberated in your ears. No matter how much you asked, or rather, begged him to let you in, to let his walls down and allow you the great pleasure of helping him work through whatever hell he evidently faced in such a long-feeling-yet-short amount of time, he refused. He’d look at you in a way you couldn’t understand, couldn’t comprehend, and mutter some ‘it wouldn’t matter’ under his breath and walk off with that dark thing following behind him.

Your head raised slowly and stared into the fire that crackled wildly with passion, focusing on your breathing so you didn’t spiral. You’d been stressed as of late, working on a particularly hard case while trying your best to be the shoulder Ciel so evidently needed to cry on. Endless amounts of paperwork had been forced on your shoulders and for some unspoken reason Funtom had suddenly taken a hit from a competitor, and working on a new product was sucking the absolute life out of you.

Your eyes were naturally drawn to the fire, gazing at the flickers of light and the bursts of cinder that would fall to the hearth and ignite in a final moment of flame before being silenced forever. Your eyes closed as the fire grew louder and you focused, brows furrowing as the world grew silent except for the growing roars of flame, ash and soot. The air seemed to grow heavy, mixing with a scent you hated but knew oh so intimately.

The case you had been handling lately involved the serial burnings of homes, each with families inside. The fires would always be set at midnight, and the homes were usually those of a wealthier lot. Nothing like an Earl or a Duke, but people with money nonetheless. The families always consisted of a mother, father, and at least one son, the most being quadruplets, never a daughter however. After the burning, the family would be confirmed dead by the suspect or suspects - you assumed it may be either a duo or a team - usually by caving heads and chests. The worst one so far had been a family where the father had just received a raise from his occupation - a butchers assistant - and all had died not a day later. What made it so bad was that fact that the twins burned in the fire were infants. Just barely two months old.

The remaining smell singed your nostrils and made your eyes water but you could not tear your eyes away from the group. The mother and father lying over the boys cradle, holding them in their arms.

You couldn’t help it. Shaking in your chair as your grit your teeth, trying to remove yourself from the thoughts that would replace that family with your own, hearing the panicked cries of your little brothers as fire consumed the walls and stairs, making escape nigh impossible.

You couldn’t help it as one of your hands trailed up your body, filled with blotches of burned flesh and stitches, gross and red and raised, that textured your skin under your bandages and thick, heavy clothes. It was sensitive. It was numb. You could feel the flames licking your skin as the crackling grew louder, breathing becoming harsh as hands raced to protect your face when the flames climbed the walls in your bedroom, making you scream.

You fell from your bed, night shirt clinging to your chest as sweat poured from your skin, crawling across your floor, which burned across your being, and pulled yourself up to wretch your door open, crumbling into the hall as you shouted for your family. You shuffled through the halls as servants ran about, screaming and crying. The smoke and heat stung at your eyes but you pushed forward, desperately calling for your mother and father. You collapsed into a wall, going low to take a deep breath and wheezing at the smoke you inhaled instead. You coughed, falling to the floor once more but continued to crawl, your calls much weaker than before.

Suddenly you were in the doorway of the study that held your family as fire burned through everything around you. It roared, forcing you back as you saw them huddled together, mother and father above your brothers. They screamed at you to stay back but you, ever the brash child, jumped through the flames to reach them, only for the floor to give out beneath you, leaving you trapped in the middle of the flames. It quickly ate away at you, nightshirt burning away and your skin blackening and peeling, your screams echoing across the home, actively being the loudest amongst the chaos. You struggled and cried, tears quickly drying up and evaporating, hands clawing at everything they could reach to pull yourself from the pain.

Hands wrapped around you, strong and safe, pulling on you. Unfortunately your leg took the brunt of the damage, snapping as you were pulled up from the ground. You cried, leg jutting at a horrible angle as you were rushed into the embrace of your mother, father cursing as he rushed back to the group. Your brothers clung to you, and you didn’t care as their nails dug into the fresh burns, stinging and bleeding. You looked up at your parents who were talking before your father spoke.

His voice was muffled, drowned out by the noise of the fire, and the group shuffled close to a window you hadn’t noticed, moving inch by inch in case any more floorboards were lose or weak. Your arms were tight around your brothers, hushing and shushing them, kissing their foreheads and patting their hair in attempts to comfort them. You all were as low to the ground as possible, the heat seeping into your bones and scorching your soul.

As soon as you all made it to the window, the fire had claimed over half the room and was right on your heels, its light blinding you. The adrenalin was the only thing keeping you from passing out from pain, mother's grip growing tighter as father rushed to the window and forced it open, eventually punching through the glass and lifting it that way, the noise imprinting itself in your brain.

You were torn from your brothers, a scream immediately shredding itself from your throat. Thrashing to the best of your ability, you were only calmed by your father’s hands on your shoulders. He glanced outside - to see if it was safe to jump you assumed - and leaned in close, pressing many kisses to your head. You looked back and saw your mother, who was still holding your brothers, smiling at you.

“You are the most injured of all of us. You need to go first.” Your father began. You immediately shook your head, pointing to your brothers but father shushed you.

“No. They’ll be out right behind you, I promise. I love you, so so much, and so does your mother. Please.” You looked back at the fire that was consuming the floors and walls at a rapid pace, creeping closer to your family. You sniffled, nodding, and hugged your father. He hugged you back, lifting you and carrying you to the window, mindful of the glass.

“Aim for the bushes, my little soldier. They’ll cushion your landing.” You nodded again. Before he dropped you, you turned to your father and family.

“I love you all.” You whispered. And you were met with declarations of love back. Then, the wind whipped wildly around you as you fell.

You didn’t know what happened, what changed your trajectory, why you were suddenly in so much pain.

… Your lower back hurt. Bad.

Something crashed above you and your saw the window you just fell out of grow dark, as though something fell in front of it inside, then flame burst forth from remains, glass raining down over your withered form, that of which screamed and cried.

You were never very religious. Church was not something your family partook in to often, but in that moment you preyed. Clasped your hands above your head and preyed, cried, and screamed. Your eyes were clouded with tears, and noticed that a red blob followed by several other blobs raced towards you, scream-like-noises emitting around you.

Voices sounding like they were calling from the bottom of the sea rung in your skull and made you cry more, hands coming to your ears as your vision darkened around the edges.

“BROTHER!!”

You didn’t react, covering your ears with both hands, begging that the noises and the lights would go away. Your leg, you couldn’t feel it. The damn thing felt like lead weight attached to you, the burns were itchy and your fingers raced to scratch at them, the heat of the flames making everything unbearable.

You started stripping, if just to cool off the tiniest bit, but something stopped you. A hand, it seemed. Before you could scream again you were sat up against a wall, figures dancing in your corroded sight. Your face, tainted as it was with scars, was wet with tears - bloody tears mind you - and drool from your stuck-open mouth, moaning and gasping and sobbing.

Your entire body shook as someone sat beside you, not saying anything for a moment. Finally, you heard a choked cry that wasn’t your own from that shadow beside you.

“What’s wrong..?” It whispered. The voice was soft and scratchy, as though it hadn’t been used in a long while. You sobbed again as the flames licked your terrorized flesh.

“The fire…” you murmured. Though before it could speak again you spoke more. “It took them from me… it burns… everything hurts… my leg…” your voice grew ever quieter as you strained, double vision making it hard to see your lap as you looked down and towards the leg that burned oh so painfully. In a moment of agonizing pain, your hands wrapped around the dead weight of your leg, teeth grinding together as you pulled at it. The voice gasped as you screamed out, the leg finally being torn from your body and launched across the field of grass you lay on. You cried harder as it flew and clattered against the dirt, the pain only getting worse. The voice was silent for only a moment more before speaking again.

“What do you need me to do?” It whispered, and you screamed. “MAKE IT STOP!.. MAKE THE FIRE STOP OH PLEASE!! IT BURNS LIKE HELL I CAN’T TAKE IT!!!” Your cries echoed as you slid on the wall until you were curled in a sideways fetal position, face pressed against the grass as you hiccupped.

More muddled voices filled your hearing as your vision blurred and danced, making the world spin and leap, disorienting you further. You pushed your head into your leg, sobbing even louder still. It stayed silent for a bit longer but the presence came closer and began breathing loudly, holding his breath for a couple seconds and exhaling just as loud. He did this a couple times and you couldn't help to copy, your breathing slowly matching that of the other's. Your tears still fell, but the shuddering came to a halt.

"(Y/n), where are you right now?" He questioned. You kept breathing, thinking with your eyes closed.

"I'm outside. T-the manor is on fire and... and uhm-" "Breathe." You nodded, stopping to breathe. The person beside you also kept breathing with you, emphasizing the deep breaths and long exhales.

"You're not outside, (Y/n). You're in a hallway inside the manor." Your breath shuttered and his breathing immediately got louder and you followed. "That night was a few month ago. The manor is fully rebuilt. You're in a hallway just outside the study. It's around... one? One AM, I believe." You nodded, still in fetal position. You whined, and curled a bit further into yourself. The other sighed and scooted closer.

"(Y/n)... can you look at me please?" You shivered, but nodded again. It took you a few seconds but eventually you were able to sit yourself back up and looked over, meeting the teary eyes of Ciel. You blinked, staring at him. It took you a moment, really taking in the fact that he was before you, not in the manor? You finally began looking around, breathing growing heavy again as tears welled up in your eyes.

"(Y/n)! (Y/n), look at me. You need to keep breathing." You nodded but kept looking around. You sniffed, rubbing at your face and eyes and itching at any burns on your face. "(Y/n), can you stop scratching please?" You huffed, and didn't comply. In fact, you scratched a little harder, skin braking and breathing a bit harder. You heard Ciel shuffle around, before appearing before you. He stared into your eyes, then raised his hands slowly. They slowly moved to your wrists, but you flinched back, thus making Ciel flinch. He kept looking you in the eye, an unspoken staring contest sparking between you. He broke it first, sighing.

"(Y/n), may I touch you?" You jumped, staying silent. You continued to stare, breathing deeply more. You nodded. He nodded as well, once more moving slowly and steadily to gently grip your wrists, pulling them from your face. You looked down as he muttered something about needing to bandage the wounds.

"Sebastian in going through the house and putting out all the fireplaces." Ciel suddenly mentioned. You looked up, still allowing him to hold onto you - which was now him holding your hands in his lap - and tilted your head, silently asking him what he meant.

"Earlier you said something about fire," he was purposely omitting what you said, you noticed, "So I sent him off. To put out all the fires in the manor, I mean." You got the double meaning relatively fast. He understood the man made you remarkably uncomfortable, and sent him away before you could even recognize he was there. You nodded again, acknowledging his statement.

“Do you want me to bring you your leg?” He asked. You squinted and he sighed. “I meant- Your prosthetic. Would you like me to bring your prosthetic leg to you? As well as your cane?” Your head rapidly shook and you shrunk into yourself.

“Do you want to go to your bedroom? Or office?” He looked confused, which was fair as you shook your head again. “Do you want to… stay here?” Finally you sighed. Ciel continued to sit before you, taking in the sight of such a shaken version you.

You looked so tired, eyes sunken and sweat rolling down your forehead. Your scarred and heavily bandaged face still had tear tracks, and the bandages trailed beneath the collar of your shirt and traced your arms and - assumedly - your remaining leg. You still shook a little, though much less than earlier. Your hair was a mess of fly-away’s and frizz, some even stuck to your cheek from when you collapsed in your office.

Both you and Ciel stared at each other, taking each other in. The signs of trauma literally stamped themselves all across you both, tailing each of you with a scent of death that wouldn’t go away no matter how hard you scrubbed at your skin. For a moment, both your breaths stilled. Then you started crying again.

Your head curled towards your chest, hands rushing to your face. Ciel immediately went to comfort you, but your head was then thrown back, knocking back on the wall, though that didn’t deter your laughter. A wide grin had found with way onto your face, eyes closed and tears streaming down your cheeks. Both your hands quickly found their way around Ciel’s shoulders, drawing him into a tight hug. Your head rested on his, sobbing into his hair.

Ciel sat there, gobsmacked, but finally leaned into your touch, his arms embracing you and nuzzled into your chest, tears finally finding their way into his eyes, and a muffled wail made its way from his throat.

“You’re here with me..! I... I can feel you! Don’t leave, okay? P-promise me you won’t leave..!” You cried. Ciel was pulled firmly into your lap so you could fully wrap around him, entirely engulfing him in your embrace. Both of you continued to hold each other, sobbing and laughing and crying. Everything seemed to piece together as you held each other, finally having your little brother in your arms. He hadn’t been this emotionally available since he returned, and work had kept you from interacting to much with him, so this? Feeling him against you when both of you were long past the line of breaking, it was nice.

Being here, with him, in this moment of weakness, was nice.

·:¨༺ ♱✮¨:·ᨐฅ ᨐᵐᵉᵒʷ·:¨✮♱ ༻¨:·˚─── ⋆⋅⛥⋅⋆ ──

{𝓝𝓸 𝓞𝓷𝓮'𝓼 𝓟.𝓞.𝓥}

Sebastian walked through the halls lit only by the candle in his grip after extinguishing every single fire place in the manor. He walked back to the last place he’d seen his young Master, that being with his older brother in a hall as said brother had an attack.

Sebastian would be a liar to say he hadn’t wanted to be there and “help” - he just wanted to see what that kind of attack was like, really - but unfortunately, he’d been sent off to make the teenager much more comfortable, even if he couldn’t see the fires in other rooms.

Something about “being able to be assured it won’t happen again” or whatever his Master had said.

His eyes stalked the halls, the candle nothing more than a formality as to not scare the children when he would find them, a dull smile plastered on his face. He truly wanted nothing more than to go back to his room and enjoy the latest cat he had stole- adopted.

His brisk pace paused as his gaze finally landed on the intertwined bodies of the two remaining Phantomhive children, (Y/n)’s body enveloping Ciel’s in a firm embrace, the duo sound asleep against the floor. (Y/n)’s leg was a length away, and the candle Ciel had was little more that a nub surrounded by wax. Ciel’s head was cushioned by (Y/n)’s hand, the elders own body being the thing the majority of Ciel’s own body rested on.

Sebastian stared at them for a moment, simply taking in the view, and walked towards them, slipping a hand under (Y/n) and balancing Ciel on top of him, walking them both towards the Earl’s bedroom. The walking seemingly jostled them a bit, as (Y/n) groaned and hugged Ciel tighter. One of his eyes peaked open, looking at Sebastian who kept his eyes forward.

His eyes stayed on the older’s face, trained on his features. Sebastian ignored the look and kept pressing forward through the cold halls, candle somehow still balanced in his hand but far enough to not distress the drowsy boy anymore for the night.

“… Thank you.” (Y/n) muttered, eye closing back and falling back into sleep. Sebastian finally eyed him as the boy snuggled Ciel closer, who only grunted into his chest. The rocking motion led (Y/n) back into slumber, evident by the deep breathing and the most relaxed expression Sebastian had seen on his face.

The Demon only huffed, a ghost of a smile on his face. He walked them to (Y/n)'s bedroom, pulling back the sheets of the bed and laying them both down. He didn't even try to separate them, knowing that it would be useless to even try with them both in the emotional state they were in, even if in sleep.

Sebastian pulled the covers over them, running a hand through both heads of hair. With candle still in hand, he walked out the room, closing the door till a crack, staring at the two children who pulled the other impossibly closer. Something deep in the man's eyes shined, though it was nothing but a dull glimmer.

"Goodnight, Young Masters." He breathed. He gently closed the door behind him, leaving the two to dream the night away.

The moon danced over their sleeping forms, the cloudless night offering stars to light their paths deeper into the realm of sleep. Both subconsciously reaching out to their sibling to calm their troubled minds and finally find some semblance of sleep for the first time in weeks.

Finally reunited, though with much work of reconciliation ahead of them, was nice.

Being together, holding each other; knowing the other was there, safe and sound, was nice.

This first moment of true calm mental silence, was nice.

{𝓝𝓸𝓽𝓮𝓼}: I hope this pleases, because for some reason this was incredibly difficult to write. I did, however, give it my all and push through so that I may deliver. Again, I hope you enjoy nonetheless.

-🖋️

All publishings on this account belong to @fountain-pen-anon. I do not authorize my fics being altered, translated, stolen or published/reposted to other sites, thank you.

© fountain-pen-anon - all rights reserved

[boytoykevinday]

Exyblr Dashboard Simulator based on what I personally see on sportsblr:

2/?

📜 realexyblog

haiku because exy is back:

GOD, why are my teams

SO fucking bad at exy?

FUCK this FUCKING sport.

#and i watch sports for why? entertainment? no way

243 notes

♛ queen-of-exy

I WAS RIGHT ALL ALONG! KEVIN DAY IS A QUEEN SHES LITERALLY A QUEEN ITS ON HER FACE

💃fox-me-up follow

queen on the court, pillow princess on the mattress amiright

♛ queen-of-exy

ive never felt more understood, I am kissing you w tongue

#marry me tumblr user fox me up

411 notes

🌞 blonde-jeremy-knox

i'm just gonna say it. i know we're all thinking it. jeremy knox eats ass like it's his JOB.

👁 jean-mor-uhoh

babe literally no one was thinking that but i'm proud of you for speaking your truth

#we're friends but what cost. when all u talk about is jeremy knox eating ass.

31 notes

🧚 goalie-stan

#dan wilds #psu

205 notes

🌄 softkevinday follow

He lived. He served cunt. He died. He was Resurrected. Served more cunt.

#kevin day

605 notes

👸🏻 kevindazed follow

absolutely busted a fucking nut watching kevin day switch hands like that oh my god my nut was so forceful it created a new dimension.

🏳️‍🌈 gay4stickball follow

hey can i join you in that dimension

👸🏻 kevindazed follow

Sure, just bring some snacks or something

🏳️‍🌈 gay4stickball follow

hell yeah!!!!!!

#thanks youre the best do you like doritos?

197 notes

😎 foxyknoxy

the best exy team in the nation is a LIBERAL ARTS COLLEGE how many of those students even go to the games when your school is full of artists and theater kids. your student section must be wACK

😎 foxyknoxy

*sorry, 2nd best exy team in the nation

#fuck you theater kids!!!!!!!! can't even appreciate a good sport !!!!! anyway go trojans

99 notes

🙈 ittybittyminny follow

Andrew Minyard should get a little bite and chew. As a reward. Maybe a small gnaw. nomnomnom Maaaaaybe as a treat he can rip a throat out, but only if he's really really good

#only if he's REALLY GOOD and maybe tests negative for rabies but whatever you can't win em all

126 notes

🏳️‍🌈 gay4stickball follow

favourite exy rarepair????

☀️ usctrojanny

ACTUALLY !!!!! was thinking about this earlier and while ive never seen anyone talk about it.......aaron minyard and neil josten would be 👀 kinda cute???

🏳️‍🌈 gay4stickball follow

omg wait why have I never thought about guys before!!!!!!!! noooo why did you say this, i can totally see it!!!!!! Neil would probably have to lean down to kiss aaron 🥺 do u think he has ever had to lean down to kiss someone 😭

☀️ usctrojanny

And obviously, u know me, im always here for a striker/backliner matchup

🏳️‍🌈 gay4stickball follow

this is all i'm going to think about for the rest of my life now, thanks, fuck you

139 notes

👅 nastyneiljosten

I want to put neil josten in a jar and shake the jar so violently he turns into sludge and then pour a drop of that sludge on to a petri dish so I can see what kind of bacteria he produces.

🦩 exyonmymind follow

what happens to the rest of the sludge?

👅 nastyneiljosten

*sluuuuuuurp* *swallowing sounds* *sluuuurp* *gargle gargle* *more swallowing sounds* yummy yummy in my tummy

487 notes

🐋 sexyexy

headcannon that neil josten is so feral bc andrew bit him and gave him rabies so now he's a literal rabid dog

👢exyinaphonebooth follow

You can't make headcannons about real people don't be freaks

🐋 sexyexy

exy players aren't real they're my little dolls that I can put into any situations I want and you can't stop me

#thanks anyway did u know andrew minyard gave neil josten rabies

143 notes

🧸 mreow-bearcats-mreow

ARE THOSE REFS FUCKING BLIND ????????!

#exy lb

👨🏻‍❤️‍💋‍👨🏻 talk-exy-to-me

Kiss cams are only acceptable during sporting events if they zoom in on two players

🗣️ jeremyknoxes follow

ok but what if they're wearing a face mask

👨🏻‍❤️‍💋‍👨🏻 talk-exy-to-me

smash your cages together obviously, don't be a pussy #love wins

🗣️ jeremyknoxes follow

fair enough

890 notes

🌸 softexy

Andrew and Aaron Minyard

#exy #andrew minyard #aaron minyard #palmetto foxes #psu #web weave #poetry

2,040 notes

[certifiedstarrr]

Open Arms - Matt Sturniolo

warnings: panic attack, kissing, use of y/n, degradation thoughts, use of pet names, & fluffy fluff

POC FRIENDLYYY !!

summary: y/n has a panic attack because she was petrified of falling behind and disappointing people around her. Not wanting to be to annoying or clingy to Matt, and trying not let people down. Matt assists and reassures that she’s not letting people down and she’s doing great.

a/n: sorry if this is bad, but leave reqs in my inbox anytime, ily💕 also i know after party pt.4 has been put off awhile but i’m making time to fix it😭🤞

wc: 1k

not proofread (a bitch dont got no time for that shit)

based off of this song ↓

“when no one’s around me, you lost and found me, i was surrounded, with open, open, open, Open Arms”

y/n’s pov

fucking stupid idiot. you should have done it but look where you are now. from before i had 2 things on my to-do list

・Flashback・

“well, i’ll do it later.”

i wrote it down on my to-do list. i pet my dogーkelani and hug her,

“it’s okay i will get to it.”

i wrote down “get this week’s groceries and kelani’s dog food”

just make sure to get to it y/n.

・Now・

i had well over 7 things on my to-do list. i should’ve just done it while I could. so fucking dumb y/n. why do you let this happen? first it was my college classes, food for my dorm, the triplet’s birthday, my car repairs, my sister’s wedding back in london , my mom wants me to visit her in new york, and I have to study for my literature exam. if I don’t get anything for the triplet’s birthday they’ll definitely be disappointed, if i don’t visit my momーshe’ll definitely be upset; and if I don’t go to my sister’s wedding in london, i’m going to be seen as disrespectful to my elders.

i felt something bad was gonna happen but i wasn’t sure.

I was leaning on my bed, going through the list over and overーscolding myself each time. a sharp pain drilled through my chestーa new type of painーsomething i’d never felt before. but this? this hurt like hell. and all at the same time my vision got blurred and breathing became impossible. i’d decided that i had to call matt. he’d surely know how to deal with this, right? as i continued sobbing repeatedly, with breathing impeccably difficult, and my vision completely shattered. my phone rung a couple times, then,

finally he answered.

“hey baby what’s up?”

“matt i- n-need help”

my voice was in a mid-whisper but he still heard it.

“please help m-“

my voice was cut by me dropping my phone.

all of a sudden, my palms sweat and feel prickly and my clothes are overly tight. i hug myself and get into a fetal position, feeling like everything is wrong and i’m going to let everyone down and be one big disappointment.

matt’s pov

we were filming friday’s car video when i got that call from y/n. her voice sounded like she was crying, but she said help me. what the fuck happened?

“hey guys something is wrong with y/n”

“what happened?” chris questioned.

“her voice was all shaky and it sounded like she was crying or shit”

no questions were asked. nick didn’t yell or go on a rant about leaving. just driving.

ೃ༄

 

when i got to her room she was laying on the floor in fetal position, weeping, sobbing. god i hate to see her like this. curls laid out around her shoulder and her beautiful face covered in tears.

"matty?"

"yes baby its me"

"i don't know what to do matt," y/n said in between sobs whilst grabbing her chest trying to breathe.

i held y/n against me and tell me what's wrong.

"what's wrong y/n?"

"m-my vision went blurry and breathing became impossible and my palms felt like they were being poked by a million needles, my clothes got too tight and and-"

"you're having a panic attack y/n"

she didn't hear me so she went on about what happened.

"im going to let everyone down mattーthey're never gonna forgive me,"

"i have too much on my to-do list and if i dont do it i'm letting everyone down"

"look baby we're gonna take it one step at a time, one thing at a time."

"o-okay"

"let's breathe in on 3, okay?"

"okay"

y/n’s pov

i took a nice breath in then repeated the same motion, breathing out. my vision got better, my clothes stopped feeling too tight, palms stopped being pricked.

"thank you matt"

"of course y/n"

ೃ༄

we crossed off things of my to-do list, one by one, and before i realized i only had 2 things left on to-do list; like before.

i've never had a panic attack before and that attack could have been worse. but before i could spiral and get lost inside the darkness, i found my light.

matt was my light.

he was there for me, and always there with Open Arms

ೃ༄

extra: first of all, im so so so so so sorry for starving you all to fucking death; this fic took me forever😭😭

but tysm for reading !!

xoxo, riri <3

taglist: 🏷 @lovingmattysposts @elliesturniolo1 @elliewrites1 @sturnsbitch @lovingmattysposts @luvmxtt @novasturniolo03 @tyjna6 @sturnlova @sturniolo-lover1317 @patscorner

(comment here be on the taglist !!)

[theshypinkflower]

🎃 Kinktober ~ Religion/Dacryphilia

🖤 Rire (Day 5)

Dub con? Non con? Some sort of con, tendrils, nsfw, mentions of God, crying, canon typical ending (IM SO SORRY IM LIKE TWO DAYS LATE TO THIS I JUST DIDNT KNOW HOW TI WRITE THIS IM SO SORRY IM WRITING DAY 6 AND DAY 7 RN)

You sobbed as you kneeled before the altar of the church. Just why did all of this suddenly happen? Your life felt like it was just spiraling downwards to where you were now. 

You were a loyal subject of the church you went to. Always praying, always giving God your unwavering faith, but where was he now? Your dog was put down, you lost your job, and your partner broke up with you. You had no one and it was starting to take a toll on you.

You clasped your hands tightly, praying with teary eyes. You’ve been at this for hours, praying god would give you a sign that he was listening. But you knew the chances were your fries fell on deaf ears. Your knees ached from sitting on them for so long. You questioned if it was even worth it. Perhaps you should head home, head home and cry more so God might answer you. 

“Awwww, what’s got you down?” Suddenly asked a rather deep voice behind you. You immediately perked up and turned around to see a tall man dressed in all black. The most odd part about him wasn’t how he wore dark sunglasses indoors, but how you didn’t hear him walk in. 

You wiped your tears, “Just….stuff,” you softly said. He gave a charming smile, “Aww, are you worried God will never hanswer you?” He asked. “Well, sorta,” you replied and went from sitting on your knees to sitting on your butt. “You know, I know a way to fix your little problems.”

You raised a brow in skepticism, “Look, whatever you sell I don’t want,” you said before standing up. He pouted jokingly, “Oh it’s nothing that you can buy, instead it’s more of…companionship.” Despite it being against your religion to just sleep with people, you pondered his words. Let's be real, all thought of God was out the door the minute your dog died, but now it was out the door and on the curb. 

You sighed, you really could use some companionship, whether it was inherently sexual or not. You just didn't wanna spend another night alone in that house. “Sure, why the hell not,” you finally said. The walk back to your apartment wasn't far, no more than ten minutes. 

As you led Rire to your apartment, he grew to be quite the conversationalist. He was even kinda..funny. It felt odd to laugh for the first time in a while, but it was needed. You felt so much better finally getting to laugh with someone. It wasn't until you got closer to your apartment he started getting more…flirty.

Stepping into the dark apartment, the two of you were getting handsy and suggestive. You led him to the couch, gently making out with him as his cold hands ran under your shirt. Despite him being oddly cold, it felt comforting to be touched. You laughed as you looked at him, “Cmon, take those stupid things off,” you playfully said and reached to remove his sunglasses.

“I don't think you wanna do that…” Rire said with a much more serious tone. “Oh cmon, got bad eyes or something?” You joked and removed his sunglasses to only gasp in horror. His eyes glowed an unnatural color with two cat-like pupils. At first you thought it was just contacts, but contacts don't glow. “W-what the hell?!” You stammered.

Rire sighed as tendrils suddenly held you in place. “My, you humans can't keep your curiosity in check,” he chuckled darkly as he watched you writhe against his tendrils. “Oh God- HEL-” you tried to scream before a tendri abruptly covered your mouth. “Oh you stupid thing, your God is dead, I'm your new god now,” Rire said with a malicious grin, showing off those sharp teeth.

Tendrils began to slip under your clothes. It seemed impossible that such things were tracing your body. The tendrils invaded your holes, stretching out the walls of your throat and nether region to a painful degree. Tears pricked in your eyes, this had to be God's punishment for turning your back on him. 

You gagged loudly at the tendril in your mouth, it wasn't just face fucking, it was more like throat fucking. It was hard to breathe, but you knew you had to stay strong if you didn't want this…demon..slenderman…whatever he was, to kill you. 

“My, you're awfully resilient!” Rire said while palming himself through his pants. “But you're not strong enough to withstand me,” he taunted. Your eyes widened as another tendril invaded your ass. You squeezed your eyes shut to try and ignore the painful stretch, but it was too much.

You sobbed, the tendril in your mouth muffling you. “Awwww, there's those pretty tears,” Rire said, his voice smooth as honey. He licked up your tears, savoring the salty taste on his tongue. His tendrils began abusing your sweet spot, making more tears flow out, not from pain, but from overstimulation. You tried saying something, but Rire couldn't understand you, so he removed the tendril from your mouth with a sickening pop.

“What was that? I didn't understand you,” he teased with that wicked grin of his. “PLEASE! M-make it stop!” You cried out as his tendrils punched into you over and over. “Oh? You want me to stop?” He asked, repeating your words.

“Don't worry, I'll gladly make it stop…”

[dieabadass]

When you find out your husband and the disgusting ogre he cheated on you with tried stealing your identity and thats the reason I couldn’t get health insurance this whole time and had to pay thousands of dollars out of pocket for my life saving medication I take everyday and got the bill from her hospital stay last year…. It’s a good thing she’s fucking dead cuz id kill her if she was still living.

I found myself apologizing to this female , trying to do anything I could to get my husband back and said sorry for acting out as any wife / girlfriend / husband / boyfriend or partner would in this situation. Yet somehow she victimized herself, made it as if she was the one who was in the right, tried to fill my shoes LITERALLY. She stole my dog my husband got for me for my birthday, harassed my family with texts upon texts of threats against my life and put me down for having a medical condition saying : she and my husband couldn’t wait for the phone call we’re my mom ( who was battling stage 3b colon cancer at the time ) to call them with the news that I finally died & rid the world of me and the burden I put on everyone with my type 1 diabetes and level of care I need and that everyone could finally move on with their lives especially the two of them without me here.

She convinced my husband that I somehow hacked into her phone and sent myself all these messages and that she was the innocent one in all of this…. Seriously flattering & wish I could have thought of that one first but the amount of work and effort to actually hack into someone’s phone was impossible for even me to do… I even had receipts and proof after proof of shit printed from my account to show the time stamps were the texts were sent from and everything it still didn’t matter. It got to the point were I was lower then I’ve ever been before, dealing with my own mental health, sobriety and from all the years of never really taking care of myself the abuse on my own body was catching up to me and had to face some serious medical stuff no one should have to face alone , ESPECIALLY without the person they needed most. Funny looking back at all this now and all this happening October 2022 and her laughing at the thought of me possibly dying and the last thing I ever said to her was to watch her mouth and words because one day she might choke on those very words and shed pay for her own karma and a year later to the date October 2023 she drops dead like a fly from a blood clot in her lungs literally choking on her own words….. huh funny…..right?

So yeah

THANK THE UNIVERSE AND THE GODS FOR EVERYTHING THAT HAPPENED BECAUSE IN THE END I FOUND MYSELF AGAIN, AND I MAY BE FAR FROM PERFECT BUT I WILL NEVER EVER BE ANYTHING LIKE THAT HORRID GIRL. MY HEART AND WHATS LEFT OF IT WOULD NEVER ALLOW ME TO BEYRAY PEOPLE AS SHE DID OR ACT IN MALICE AS SHES DONE TO SO MANY PEOPLE. THE GOOD PART OF ME FORGIVES HER AND FEELS SAD FOR HER BUT THE BETTER HALF OF ME REMINDS ME THAT IF IT WAS SWITCHED AROUND AND SHE COULD HAVE IT HER WAY SHE WOULDNT SHOW ME ANY MERCY, AND TO FEEL BAD OR SAD ABOUT IT FOR NO MORE THEN A FEW SECONDS AND THEN BE REMINDED THAT EVEN THROUGH THE WORST TIMES THERES ALWAYS A REASON AND LESSON AND BEAUTIFUL MEANING BEHIND EVERYTHING EVEN IN THE UGLIEST PEOPLE OR THINGS

So again :

THANK YOU KARMA FOR TAKING CARE OF THAT AWFUL HUMAN BEING AND MAY SHE ROT BENEATH THE GROUND WITH THE WORMS FOR ALL ETERNITY FOR NO ONE TO EVER SEE OR HEAR FROM AGAIN EVEN IN THE INFINITE LIVES AFTER THIS AND MAY MY SOON TO BE EX HUSBAND BE REMINDED EVERYDAY THAT IM HIS KARMA HE WILL HAVE TO DEAL WITH AND HASNT EVEN SEEN ME DO MY WORST

Amen

Blessed be

Thank you GODESS NYX

Hekate

The gods

And the universe

Always having my back

And showing me there’s

Always light in a world full

Of darkness

🤍

LADIES & GENTLEMAN,HE/SHE/THEM AND ALL BEAUTIFUL PRONOUNS A-LIKE LISTEN UP :

KARMA IS REAL

KARMA IS JUST

KARMA IS BEAUTIFULLY FORGIVING AND EQUALLY UNFORGIVING

KARMA WILL TAKE CARE OF YOU AND EVERYTHING OR ANYTHING IN YOUR WORLD

IF YOUR KARMA IS GOOD, EVEN IF YOUVE MADE MISTAKES , WITH BALANCE AND PUTTING GOOD ENERGY AND LOVE BACK INTO YOUR LIFE

KARMA WILL TAKE OUT THE TRASH AND ALWAYS HAVE YOUR BACK.

i know this now forever and always more than anything

All I had to do was believe in my higher power/dietys & gods and put it all in their hands and let karma and the universe do the rest without even waving my powerful little pinky 🤙🏻

I’d tell you to ask my enemies

BUUUUUUTTTTTTTTT…….

😎💀👻💀😵👻👹restinpiss💀😈👹😵 🪦🪦🪦 🔥

What and who was I talking about Again? Oh ya that’s right! See? Out of sight out of mind forever dealing with karma somewhere terrible and ugly and unforgiving serving out their karma for infinity ♾️

Amen

[bethdutten]

the ending i learned to love

summary: One of these days, he’ll get it right and he’ll see it through, one way or the other.

warnings: suicidal thoughts, self-harm, angst but with a happy ending!

a/n: this had no business being this depressing im sorry

Bucky survived everything, more than anyone should conceivably be forced to survive, but he wasn’t sure if he could survive himself.

He wished he could stop punishing himself. Could feel like it was enough. Sometimes he thinks he should stop calling himself a survivor; because, did he? Did he survive, if he still feels like this?

It was a regular November night when he met you. It also happened to be the night he had decided to finally commit to either living or dying. He couldn’t keep existing in this in-between place-- feeling like a man who should be dead, living anyway without actually wanting to. 

He told Steve he was going for a walk, headed out towards Central Park, which was exactly the same and completely different than he remembered. He walked with his hands in his pockets, head down, going over the pros and cons of killing himself like he did every night, when a loud bark pulled him out of his thoughts.

It was the only warning he got before a large mass of fur knocked into him, jumping right up on his chest before he had a chance to dodge out of the way. He swore, right hand stuck in his pocket as he struggled to catch his fall. There was a thin layer of ice on the ground from an early rain that froze in the cold November temperature, and he just barely managed to get his left hand out to brace his fall, completely forgetting he’d forgotten his gloves.

“Oh my god, I’m so sorry!”

A voice called out from in front of him, a figure in a black coat holding a leash grabbing on to the dog before it could lunge at Bucky again. Bucky grimaced, clenching his fist against the ground, ready to snap at the irresponsible owner of the dog as he looked up and--

You held out your hand, eyes full of worry. “Are you okay? She never does this, I don’t know what got into her.”

Bucky blinked, watching your gaze flicker down to his metal hand when he hesitated. But you didn’t pull your own hand away, and he carefully took it, mindful not to grasp too tightly as he pulled himself up.

Your hand lingered in his for a second too long, sliding up his wrist to squeeze his forearm. “Sure you’re okay?”

He didn’t know what the hell was going on. He can’t remember the last time someone treated him like he was... normal. Before the war, at least. If it wasn’t the obvious aversion to his arm, it was his murderous facial expressions that tended to scare people off. He cleared his throat, shaking his head.”Um. Yeah. Uh-- I’m fine.”

You gave him a tentative smile, hand dropping from his arm. “She always walks right beside me without a leash, I don’t know why she jumped on you. You don’t happen to be carrying any dog treats on you?”

Bucky felt himself softly smiling back. “No, more of a cat person.”

“You seem like it.” 

He tucked his hands back in his pockets, shrugging. “Are you saying I seem unnecessarily cruel and independent unless hungry?”

You laughed, and the sound made Bucky’s cheeks warm. It was a sound he instantly wanted to hear more of. “A bit? Is this your way of fishing for a dinner date?”

“Oh, uh, no. No, I just--” Bucky looked down, flustered and cursing himself for how lame he sounded. He used to be good at this-- but that was a different lifetime.

But you just knocked your shoulder against his, putting him at ease, again treating his left arm like it was no different from his flesh and blood arm. You grinned. “I’m kidding. Although, my dog did just maul you to the ground, the least I could do was buy you some food. Or a coffee?”

Bucky looked up, your cute head tilt and slight blush confirming that you were, in fact, asking him out. 

Just a minute ago, he was contemplating whether Christmas was a pro or a con to be alive for, and here he had a gorgeous girl holding his metal hand like it was nothing and asking him for coffee. Later, he would tell you how close he was to picking death, and how you literally saved his life. Now, he just gave you a smile, a real smile, one he hadn’t had a reason to use in years, and said,

“I’d love that.”

---

That was two years ago. Now, Bucky lived in Brooklyn with you and your dog and Alpine (who reluctantly shared her home with you both if only to appease the man who fed her). And he still wasn’t quite sure if he was strong enough to survive himself.

Because he had everything, he had you. And he was still sitting on the bathroom floor, blood dripping down his shoulder from where he was clawing at where metal met flesh, and wished he no longer existed. Bucky thought of all the violence he has inflicted in his life, none has been as violent as what he has done to himself. Because it had to be, right? How else could it make up for all he did?

You came home from work, letting the dog out and feeding Alpine, going through your usual routine. Bucky had been on an assignment with Natasha and Steve all week, and he usually called before he came home. You were just about to text him and ask how it was going when you noticed the light coming from under the bathroom door.

“Buck? Are you home? Why didn’t you--” you pushed open the door, freezing as you took in the sight beside you. Bucky looked up at you with fear in his eyes, red-rimmed and wet with tears, his right hand shooting up to cover his shoulder. But the blood had trinkled down his chest and caked in his nails-- you knew immediately what he'd been doing.

“Oh my god,” you whispered, dropping to your knees and grabbing his hand, pulling it away from his shoulder to see the damage. It was bad, but at least he didn’t take a knife to it like that time a year ago. You met his eyes, sighing. “Baby, why didn’t you call me?”

“Don’t, please,” he choked out, watching you lean over to grab the first aid kit under the sink and rifling through it for the bandages and antiseptic. 

You ignored him, pouring the liquid over his shoulder to get a better look at the injuries without all the blood. There were a few gouges that were still bleeding, but most of it was surface damage. You pulled off your shirt, shaking your head when Bucky whined as you struggled to pull him up. 

“Come on, in the shower.”

“No, just leave me--”

“I’m never leaving you!” you snapped, looking him dead in the eye and steeling yourself for a fight. Sometimes it was like this-- arguing over whether to let him suffer alone or let you help, like you could ever just leave him like this. Like you ever stopped thinking about him, could stop loving him. Like you could live without him.

Bucky gave a huff of defeat, letting you pull him to his feet and undressing him the rest of the way, carefully leading him into the shower before following him in. You ran the water as hot as you both could handle, standing under the spray as it washed the blood down his chest and circled pink around the drain. 

You wrapped your arms around him, letting him tuck his face into your neck and cry, and stood there until the water ran cold.

---

Afterwards, once you’d washed his hair, bandaged up his shoulder and set him up in bed with a movie, you cuddled up against his left side, pressing soft kisses to the skin above the bandage.

“I wish I could have met you when I was whole.”

Bucky said it so softly, so broken, you squeezed your eyes shut to hold back the flood of pain that brought tears to your eyes. You wished you could take all his hurt into you.

“Bucky,” you hushed, leaning up to meet his eyes, resting your hand on his face to make sure he was paying attention. “You have always been whole to me. And I love you.”

It wasn’t the first time you’d said it, but he still acted like it was. He stared back at you, frowning as he searched your face for a lie, and found none. “Really?”

You nodded, kissing him softly. “I love you.” You pulled back and smiled against his lips. “I love you.” Kissing him again, you whispered, “I love you—“ yelping when he swiftly rolled you onto your back and hovered above you, laughing. You grinned at the beautiful smile on his face; he was incredible, unbelievable. You didn’t understand how you got so lucky.

“I love you.” Bucky kissed you slowly, metal arm holding himself above you as his other hand trailed down your body, hips grinding down against yours. You moaned, back arching to press as much skin to his as possible.

“Bucky,” you panted, raking your nails down his back, avoiding his shoulder. “Need you.”

“My turn to make you feel better.”

—-

It was his birthday. Every year was a reminder of how he wasn’t supposed to be here. A bonus year, he called it. Usually hoping it would be his last.

This one was different. This year, he started to plan for the future; something he never really did until he met you. You asked him what he wanted to do for his birthday, and he said he wanted something lowkey. Just his closest friends, the ones who were like family, and you.

You said you’d book a table at your favorite rooftop bar in Manhattan, just a casual thing.

Bucky should have known you’d invite half of the city, instead.

He feigned a smile and tried not to flinch when they jumped out in surprise, Steve at least having the sense to look guilty.

“She planned it, man. Didn’t want you to think we didn’t all love you.”

Bucky just rolled his eyes and slung his arm around your shoulder, already resigned to the night being ruined. But he kissed you sweetly and murmured, “Thank you, babe. I love it.”

“Everyone here is so happy they get you in their life,” you whispered back, resting your forehead against his as you sighed. “Especially me. I can’t wait to celebrate a million more of these.”

Bucky laughed, shaking his head. “God, this serum might just make that possible.”

“If only I’d be so lucky,” you grinned, dragging him along to a table near the edge of the rooftop. “Come here, I have someone I want you to meet.”

“Oh?” There was a group of people gathered away from the crowd, a man at the center of it laughing. Bucky froze, yanking you back by the hand. “Wait. Is that… you didn’t.”

You shrugged, biting back a smirk. “I did.”

A cousin’s friend’s friend happened to know the publicist for Keith Richards, who was in the city with the Stones for a show later that week. They were Bucky’s favorite band, and he was convinced Keith must have gotten some version of the serum to survive the 80s.

He snapped out of it, turning to you with a huge smile on his face. “I love you.”

You laughed, rolling your eyes. “Go on, fangirl with your favorite person. Happy birthday, baby.”

Bucky shook his head, cupping your face and kissing you hard. You licked into his mouth, moaning softly before remembering where you were, pulling away and feeling yourself blush.

He grinned, kissing you again quickly. “You’re my favorite person. Best gift ever.” He turned and headed towards the group surrounding the rock star, and you made sure no one bothered them for the rest of the night. And you were only slightly jealous.

You didn’t get back home until after 3AM, Bucky going on and on about his conversation with Keith in the cab. You grinned, sitting down on the bed as you slipped off your jacket and dress, leaving them in a pile on the floor to deal with tomorrow.

“So the night was good?”

Bucky sighed, collapsing down beside you. “No, actually. You kinda ruined my birthday.”

You frowned, leaning over and brushing a piece of hair from his temple. “I know you wanted something small, but I thought inviting Keith Richards would be more special—“

“But it was supposed to be just you, me, and our close friends where we went on our first date, so I could ask you something I’ve been preparing for for months,” he explained nonchalantly, reaching into the pocket of his jeans and pulling out a ring.

You felt your heart drop, staring at the diamond ring in his hand as Bucky slowly slid off the bed and onto one knee, taking your hand. “And now you’re making me do this at 3AM the morning after my birthday, in my stupid bedroom, nothing special at all—“

“James Buchanan Barnes, shut the fuck up,” your whispered, hands shaking as Bucky gave them a squeeze and smiled softly at you, holding up the ring.

“Fine, but one more thing. Will you marry me?”

You felt your vision get blurry, every moment in your relationship replaying in your mind— the first day your met, when he’d been walking in the park deciding whether he should live or die; every night you woke up from his nightmares, holding him until he could breathe again; all the times he tried to hurt himself, all the nights you whispered how much you cared about each other, every time he made you laugh until it hurt and he made love to you like he was worshipping you.

But he was still healing. Every day was a fight against himself. And someday you feared you wouldn’t be there in time. You couldn’t lose him, not as a best friend, not as a boyfriend, not as a husband. “Buck,” you started, voice cracking with emotion. “Promise me. This is for forever, right?”

There was a look in his eye like he knew exactly what you were thinking; and he probably did. He was so good at reading you. It’s why he never doubted your love for him, even if he doubted how much he deserved it every day. But he didn’t take this lightly— truth be told, he’d thought about this from the first month he met you. And he wouldn’t have asked you if he didn’t know it was more than a marriage proposal.

It was him finally deciding once and for all, to live.

“Listen. I love you now. I’m with you now. I’ll do my best, moment to moment, to be here now. That’s all I can promise. That’s all I have.”

You let out a watery laugh, smiling. “That’s all I ever wanted.”

Bucky held out the ring again, a worried smile of his own on his face. “So, will you be my wife?”

And despite giving him the best birthday and the worst proposal, he wouldn’t have changed a single thing when you said yes.

[m1d-45]

Hi,um this is my first time so I'm sorry if the requests are close.So I read a few genshin sagau and what would happen if the reader get smaller if they don't receive love?Like,they turn younger and younger.And 1 of the character found them but instead if the so called imposter, they find a child?What would happen

Again,im sorry.If the requests are close,then pls ignore me.im more scared of getting a reply😭

the young

a/n: requests are open, don’t worry! personally, i don’t plan on ever properly ‘closing’ them, only delaying / putting them on second priority for whatever reason. thank you for sending in a request, and if this isn’t what you wanted, then feel free to ask again!

word count: ~1.3k

-> warnings: unedited stream of consciousness, but not much else! imposter au. slight mention of addiction, probably obsessive behavior / thoughts… rip to klee / diona / dori / sayu / qiqi mains. mad respect though.

-> lowercase intended!

taglist: @samarill || @thenyxsky

at first, you didn’t notice.

teyvat, in its loving kindness, had kept you safe after you’d been run out of the city. boars made sure nobody got too close, cranes kept watch, birds fluttered around your small campsite during the night. your loyal guard, always there, inhuman to some but a blessing to you. the people may not believe you, they may run you out and shout for your capture, but teyvat would always be there.

it would lower the boughs on trees as you mumbled about not being able to reach the fruit, it would send smaller companions as you jumped at the size of a crow, it would lead you to areas with smaller and smaller wildlife, all in the hopes that if it made you happy enough, you would stop shrinking.

when you did notice, you were afraid.

you were sitting on a rock, absentmindedly braiding wildflowers together. they seemed larger than usual in your palms, but so did everything else! your mind told you it was just because teyvat’s plants and animals were bigger than the ones in your world, but you didn’t really believe it.

a large raven carefully landed on the rock besides you, eyes peering at your creation. it was huge, the size of a puppy at least.

…a dog, you correct yourself. no puppy is that large.

the bird hops closer, talons clicking on the stone, beady eyes still watching the wildflowers in your hands. it’s large, unnervingly so, and you swallow before turning back to braiding.

when you reach for another flower, it takes more strength than it should to pull it up.

grass bends under determined shoes, eyes scanning the undergrowth. ferns part, your main ducking under surprisingly low branches. they’d heard from the locals that the imposter was spotted around here, and they needed to be the one to find you.

they couldn’t let down their god. they couldn’t let them down, not when they’d already been punished by being deprived of their aura. they didn’t know what they did, they didn’t receive an answer no matter how hard they begged, but they were certain this could fix it. after all, they were still the favorite, right? they still had their weapon, and their artifacts that had taken ages to collect, and they could still sweep away enemies with the same strength.

all that was missing was the precious aura of being close to the creator, a feeling they would do anything to get back.

the memory spurred them on, even as the thicket grew denser. they did their best to push through, the golden shimmer of their weapon being summoned making up for the lack of light filtering through the leaves, but it’s like the very earth didn’t want them going here.

the thought made them pause, but only momentarily. if the earth didn’t want them there, then that meant it was dangerous, a threat to the people nearby. at the very least, they had to see whatever it was to ensure they could bring the proper amount of backup.

as they cut through the leaves and bushes—doing their best to preserve as much as they could, unwilling to destroy what their god had so lovingly created—they began to feel the same thrill in their bones that came from being near their god. when they first noticed they had to stop their progress, leaning against a tree to mumble a prayer of thanks.

they’d missed this. they’d missed it so deeply, a hole in their soul that nothing could ever fill. from being surrounded by it daily, in and out of battle and other errands, to being stranded without it for months… it could only be compared to an addiction.

when they got their wits about them, they shakily drew their weapon once more. this had to be a reward, right? for going out of their way to protect the people? this had to be a sign, acknowledgment from the only one they truly cared about, and it only reinforced their actions. cutting through the brush was hard, a task of which progress seemed slower and slower with every breath, but this made it worth it.

with a final use of their skill—carefully aimed, as they were well aware of how their hands trembled—the foliage gave way, opening into a beautiful meadow. birds chirped and called, butterflies landed on flowers, and a creek bubbled through the center, emptying into a pool on one side. it was beautiful, an area certainly blessed by their god’s love, and they took a moment to look in awe.

“hello?”

the call of a child snapped them from their thoughts, the feeling of a divine aura pulsing in their veins, and they turned to the source.

a small child was sitting in the grass near the edge of the clearing, butterflies and birds surrounding them like a personal guard. in their hands was a braid of flowers, their clothes stained with dirt and grass.

“hello.”

the favored rushed to try and rationalize the situation, thoughts slowed to a drip of honey by the bliss in the air. this… child had to be the reason they were being blessed, right? their god wanted them to save them from whatever the earth didn’t want them to see, right? perhaps the child was one of their vessels as well? though rare, it wasn’t unheard of..

the child stood from the grass, setting down the flowers and attempting to brush some of the dirt off their clothes. it didn’t work as well as they might have hoped.

they cleared their throat, catching the child’s attention. “you should come with me.”

one of the birds besides the child cawed loudly in protest, flapping its wings. neither payed any mind.

“why?”

‘why’ indeed. they couldn’t exactly explain the entire concept of divinity to somebody so young, and it would surely only give whatever monster lied in wait more time to return. if they were a villager’s kid, they would have heard of them being missing, but they didn’t, so no chance of using the ‘your parent sent me for you’ line…

“somebody very important is looking for you,” they settled, taking a step towards them. “and they’ve sent me to come find you.”

please say yes. please just come with me. i can’t hurt a child. i need you to come with me.

i need their favor once more.

to their relief, the child walked closer to them, and they crouched to meet their eyes. the blessing of their god thudded alongside their own heartbeat, their vision swimming at the edges. this is what they were meant to do. they had to bring this kid to their god. this is how they would be forgiven.

the child said something, something along the lines of trust and belief, but they fell on deaf ears. in an easy motion, the favored picked up the child and stood, walking for where they had entered the meadow.

the kid squirmed in their arms, making themself comfortable, but they didn’t stop marching. exiting was far easier than entering, the leaves no longer seeming to fight them—not that it mattered. they had the key to their god’s favor in their arms, and their blessing in their veins. nothing would stop them from returning to their former position, to where they belonged.

nothing would stop them from returning to their god’s side.

[maukiki1-but-cringefail]

i swear to fucking god im not a hater but if i see another fucking badly-made thumbnail boring neurotypical straight guy with lame monotone voice talking over buncha mfb clips video of the worst metal fight beyblade takes ive ever seen with the unfunniest jokes im gonna rearrange the DNA sequence of the closest person to me to that of a Doto greenamyeri nudibranch because i swear to god just shut the fuck up.

how the fuck do you meatheads base how much you like a character over powerscaling and win ratio. would you prefer a wild bear over your own mother because the bear is stronger than her? thats how you fuckin sound like. i gotta rant this shit out because i had enough if i hear another fucking "ryūga da goat🥶🐐" "beyblade really is that serious🤣" "This show is so acoustic😵" "did you know that moses split the sea with a be-" WE FUCKING KNOW THE WHOLE WORLD KNOWS AT THIS POINT. ALSO IF YOU DEADASS USE AUTISM AS AN INSULT LET ALONE USE THE WORD ACOUSTIC OR ARTISTIC FOR IT STAY 7 KILOMETERS AWAY FROM ME AND ALSO DONT WATCH METAL FIGHT BEYBLADE EVERYONE IS GAY AND AUTISTIC YOU KNOW WHY⁉️ which cishet neurotypical out there makin spinning tops fight with neon green or blue whateverthefuck hair half the cast looks like they been hiding in closet before their debut episode.

PRIME example of these bad takes is , because of powerscaling again the hate on masamune ? i thought people hated him because they thought he was annoying (like how i did when i first watched it when i was little) (FOUR YRS OLD) and like id get that as in he talks alot or whatever but people hate him because. fucking. "he has a low win ratio and claims to be the number one blader" BITCH THATS A 15 YR OLD. or like around that age somewhere you get the point. so what if the taco doritos colour palette guy a little confident in himself bitch you hate fun you hate sillyness. people also use him as like a tool to praise kenta? constantly i see takes like "kenta is like masamune if masamune didnt suck" or something as in they both try to rise to the top and get stronger but one of them doesnt talk shit like did you know you can praise a character without putting down the other one motherfucker. another one is "masamune isnt a legendary blader because he talks shit but cant actually back it up" Hey my brother in Allah lets play a little game. which one of the fucking legendary bladers talks big about himself. you have ten seconds. 10...9...8....KING. KING IS RIGHT THERE .

also saw someone say damian shouldve been a legendary blader⁉️⁉️mf that boy was on rearrangement stereoids the effects of that wouldve already worn off by the time of metal fury how does that even WORKK😭😭 he was probably off with 3 big fucking pet dogs to eat custard pudding or sumn idk .Ryūga dickriding has been a thing for for ever but right now for some reason people decided they didnt talk about that guy enough. theres so many videos on him guys there are other characters to talk about i can write a three billion word essay on damian but i dont think i can say anything about ryūga that hasnt been said at this point. also the people who claim hes alive BECAUSE hes alive in the manga is crazy like yall cant see those as two different universes? im not saying wether if i think hes alive or not this isnt about that dont miss the point. i wanted to make text posts about mfb for forever but i was embarrased for god knows why so i just posted my mfb fanart on my main but i cant take it anymore (eatina burger with no honey mustard) must speak this time im afraid

also sorry if this is hard to read im not good at ending sentences where i should punctuation jumpscare. powerscaling mfs will hear u say u like a character like for example tsubasa or sumn and immediately bring up ryūga like shut the fuck up this shit happened on twitter i dont even use twitter i opened the app for 000.1 seconds. you just jelaous ryūga will never serve like did mf also im not a ryūga hater anyways i reached the character limit fuck

[whinlatter]

i MUST hear your thoughts on "im your man" by mitski and how it's the ginny/harry/sirius trio anthem in "beasts"...must hear

what have you done asking me about this...... a great and terrible mistake........ the air is thick with sirens...........

basically i'm your man is an absolutely perfect song about feeling unworthy and undeserving of the love someone gives you, and a feeling of great dread that one day the other person will realise it and leave. it is - for this reason - so eye-wateringly ginny-sirius-harry coded i simply cannot bear it. that whole album (the land is inhospitable and so are we) is heaven and there are so many songs on it that have been absolutely dynamite for getting the juices flowing with this fic (the frost and star are my hinny anthems for chapter 12  👀)

so i am taking a short dissertation writing break to offer an entirely unhinged rant about i'm your man complete with some mild beasts spoilers because apparently i care a lot about this inexplicably. thank you so much for humouring me!

you're an angel, i'm a dog or you're a dog and i'm your man you believe me like a god i'll destroy you like i am

the first verse plays with the idea that there are three tiers of being - dog, man, angel/god - that all exist in relation to each other. the narrator sings the song to put themselves down. you're an angel, i'm a dog - meaning, i'm lowly nothing compared to your pure divine greatness. in the next line, a twist and advance on that idea: you're a dog (faithful, honest, loyal, loving easily and with such trust) and i'm your man (the one who is responsible for you, who you look to protect and sustain you, who is unworthy of that kind of adoration). you believe me like a god - you trust and believe in my power and ability to take care of you and guide you. but then: i'll destroy you like i am - the only real godlike power the narrator identifies with is the capacity for destruction and ruin.

ok partly it's... you know....... the dog thing because i am very on-the-nose. (obviously sirius as padfoot, but also the distinctions in the wizarding world between beings as the moral civilised entities vs the beasts, the wild and lawless and violent magical creatures). but it's also this suggestion of hero worship and adoration from one character to another, and the object of that kind of love struggling to feel worthy of it and fearing the power it has given them over the other person. it's such a huge vibe for how i'm thinking about these characters !! i feel like it works both for harry and sirius' relationship as well as harry and ginny's: the love and reverence harry has for sirius, when sirius is filled with so much self-loathing and guilt and awareness of his own failings as a parent figure, and the way harry comes to love ginny and think of her as this pure singular light and symbol of all his hopes for a bright and good future, which (i think!) would be a lot for ginny to take on and live up to and feel deserving of. there's even shades of it in how i imagine ginny feels about sirius in the flashbacks - little ginny looking up to sirius like he's a god, hanging off his every word, sirius backing away from being responsible for this child's admiration and desire for guidance from him.

i'm sorry i'm the one you love no one will ever love me like you again so when you leave me, i should die i deserve it, don't i

i mean this is a pure sirius verse imo also with such harry shades to it ('i deserve it don't i' pure ootp harry angst). but i see some of ginny in this too ('i'm sorry i'm the one you love' - her wish that she could just be such cool and chill and easy and trying to live up to this idea harry sometimes as of her as so strong and stoic and able to deal with things, and then her feelings when all that comes crumbling down....)

i can feel it getting near like flashlights coming down the way one day you'll figure me out i'll meet judgment by the hounds

the feeling of being hunted! sirius and harry as wanted men! ginny getting found out and caught in her secrets and half-lies! 'i'll meet judgement by the hounds' god. god

people always gave me love others were never to blame after all you believe me like a god i'll betray you like a man

i think of this verse as the sirius and ginny verse. here the narrator locates the source of their unworthiness internally, not in being deprived of love by others, but in something fundamentally broken and tainted inside them. sirius as a character can't blame a total absence of love for what he's become - he was loved, he blames no-one but himself for the loathing he feels for himself. ginny, too, could not have been more loved, both before the TMR ordeal, but also thereafter - she comes from a family that adores her, she is widely liked and admired; but still, there's something missing in her sense of self. i do not wish to spoil future chapters but yeah this is bit is a Big Mood as we come closer to understanding ginny's war and what it asked of her

in chapters 10 and 11 of beasts, i started to play with this idea of the traitor, of a person who has made a great and terrible choice to betray the people close to them and in doing so revealed a true self that was there all along but lay dormant. so far in the fic, i've tried to thread in a lil drip-drip-drip of questions about the self, who a person really ever is, and about the choices characters make because of their sense of who they are, especially moral choices, in a war and under a regime that must, ethically, be resisted.

of sirius, harry, and ginny, so far it's sirius who knows most about what it is to be a traitor: someone who spent the bulk of his life assumed to be a turncoat, who is consumed by his hatred of wormtail and the memory of his treachery, who can't even begin to grasp the layers and dimensions to his own brother's betrayal, and who fundamentally still thinks of himself as a traitor to his best mate, believing himself to having 'as good as' killed lily and james. harry is the one who's full of trust, throughout the war:

'“No,” Harry said out loud, and they all looked at him, surprised. The firewhisky seemed to have amplified his voice. “I mean . . . if somebody made a mistake,” Harry went on, “and let something slip, I know they didn’t mean to do it. It’s not their fault,” he repeated, again a little louder than he would usually have spoken. “We’ve got to trust each other. I trust all of you, I don’t think anyone in this room would ever sell me to Voldemort."'

“No, I think you’re like James,” said Lupin, “who would have regarded it as the height of dishonour to mistrust his friends.” Harry knew what Lupin was getting at: that his father had been betrayed by his friend, Peter Pettigrew. He felt irrationally angry. He wanted to argue, but Lupin had turned away from him...'

ginny, of course, knows what it is to be betrayed - by her first real friend, by her own brother. but i just think these two final lines, the twist on the first verse, are such a huge huge mood for drawing some of these ideas to the surface as the plot inches (v slowly lol) forwards - the idea of a character who has had every faith put in them by someone who loves and believes in them, who fears that they wll buckle under the weight of it and betray that love and trust in terrible ways. to betray you like a man - for the great moral sin to be something inherent to no other creature or being but man - is just such a powerful cool as shit line that is really gettin me going for writing the next bit of this fic.

wow i didn't even know how much i cared about this song but turns out it's a lot???? troubling for me!