#txtpost or whatever

[dykerikki]

do NOT separate them....

[itwouldeatyoualive]

love the people of gravity falls so much. literally like less than a week prior, a possessed ford was going around town actively being a menace to the local population. and then they see (who they assume to be ford) in a convenience store and they're all like. can we please go inside your house.

[gruesome-beauty]

manchester orchestra show tonight was one of the best shows i’ve ever seen and that’s saying a lot i am just endlessly begging people who like tsk/forrister to go see manchester orchestra live like this is what you’re looking for i swear

[gael-garcia]

mubi france using my gif dhjhd

[kanamesengoku]

my experience planning and writing fics can kind of be summarized as "trying to do a jigsaw puzzle underwater" - i have an idea of the finished product and can start to slot things together to make parts of it, but nothing's really in order, i put something down only to realize at some point later that it's in the wrong place, the pieces keep floating away, the puzzle itself might be floating away, i'm floating away, maybe there's a man-eating shark, i remember i can't swim, etc.

[youareinlove]

i'm glad that after it grew on you, you guys really liked midnights. i listened to it once and decided it was the best thing i'd ever heard in my life but i get that we can't all have such impeccable taste

[sanguith]

When the song is very good but the album art cover is. Also very very good.

[myheartisonthetrain]

ugffhhgghh i hate being this kind of teenager but all my friends have relationships and i want one how tf do you fall in love with someone like sincerely

the only people it feels like i've LOVED have been 🐹 and Mj the rest are definitely something below that, and even then it might not've been real.

i don't mind half-loving someone, in fact it's much less overwhelming and would probably last longer with good communication and compatibility but all the teenagers in the world want PASSIONATE FANTASTY SEX LOVE and i don't really want that my fantasies are like totally different from what i actually want.

now here's the part where i compare the 2 relationships i've been in (trigger warning for uh everything)

with 🐸 i felt really comfortable and close with her, i might not have spoken about my deepest darkest secrets but i loved helping her through her feelings and she loved giving me affection and it was just really cute, we had a pinterest board and a spotify playlist together and we held hands at lunchtime, she never kissed me but i kissed her on the cheek and she said it was sweet

fast forward to now, about a year and a half after she broke up with me, she told me she hid a lot from me in the relationship to keep me happy, that towards the end she felt sick like she was using me because she knew the relationship wouldn't go anywhere and was still leading me on, i guess? it was my first relationship so i had nothing to compare it to but i was distraught after we broke up and i didn't talk to her for ages, which she also said she resented me for a bit (now forgiven) and i went out of my way to make new friends and start fresh. at the time she mentioned about her dad and i thought she had commitment issues and that's why she broke it off but she probably didn't love me in the first place.

she's always flirty with me in some way which used to annoy me because it played with my feelings but i'm used to it now and i don't like her in that way, especially seeing how she is when she actually does love someone. so in short we just love differently.

anyway, those new friends i said i was making? i started talking to 🐻 and a few weeks later she asked me out. i had a crush on a boy but i said yes anyway and if i'm being honest, it turned to hell fast. i didn't know if i loved her and i started to wonder if this was how 🐸 felt in our relationship, but it felt wrong to compare them because of how different they were. being openly trans and autistic, 🐻 was bullied a lot and i became subject to this, i was used to being bullied but not with this level of vulnerability. it reminded me of how it felt to be abused. being open about a lot of things, 🐻 was also open about love, she kissed me in corridors and laid on my shoulder during assembly and held hands in class, she told me all her secrets and that if i ever left she would want to die. people took photos of us kissing and they were spread around the school, i became so paranoid that i felt forced to stay with her because if i didn't it would just be me against everyone in the world. and she also might die. being a csa victim with symptoms of ocd did NOT help this at all and every day was triggering for me, she also told me she had a kink that was *unintentionally* linked to my traumatic experience and that's when i became really really scared of her. i avoided her kisses but felt like i couldn't say no because of how attached to me she was which i could relate to, and all i really wanted her to be was happy. i felt uncomfortable to the point of shaking and they took pictures of this. those fucking sick, inhuman beings, i thought. (because i didn't realise it was my responsibility to set boundaries. and to be fair 🐻 made that very difficult.) they laughed at us, people who were supposed to be my friends, people younger than me, boys, girls, everyone. i was asked about it constantly by people i didn't even know and each time i would have to stop myself from hyperventilating and breaking down completely. i HATED EVERYONE in that relationship except her, and i called that love.

some people would call this abuse, but it didn't feel intentional. it seemed like something she was immune to somehow that she didn't realise was happening and i admired her so incredibly much for that, as well as her ability to be so open and vulnerable and human and i wanted to protect this in every way, but it was always at the cost of myself. so i stopped, i broke up with her (on my birthday), and for a while there was a silence like the ring after a gunshot. she didn't die, i didn't die, i still suffered the paranoia up until very recently but in the end it was just a teenage relationship that didn't work, only heightened because we were both severely unstable. a week later i developed a massive obsession with ß, like all my excess love was poured out onto a poor old man because his eyes were forgiving and i needed to be forgiven. i didn't talk to 🐻 or 🐼 that entire summer and my heart ACHED for ß, even more than it did for 🐹 when we left school. my dad was acting weird for all that time too and i cried every night wishing i was with ß and wondering what he was doing. i felt so alone in a way i didn't know was possible, and the previous summer i'd literally joined an incel forum pretending to be an adult man because i felt so rejected. this time i felt more like the rejector, and like that was the only way to keep myself from being affected so drastically by other people - by pushing them as far away as i could. i still do this which is kind of why this blog exists (trust nobody except strangers because they don't know where you've been or what you really look like) and i'm more than grateful for this corner of the internet. if you actually read all that then thank you and take care ilysm

and yea somehow i'm still best friends with both 🐸 and 🐻 how tf does that work ????!?!??

[imgdreaming]

interacts from @yoylechess which you should follow anyway as i reblog a lot of palestinian fundraisers there !!

daily click - spreadsheet

art is queued and im not active since this site isnt particularly great for my mental haha

ribsy - website - toyhou.se - sheezy he/luv

gay objectum guygirl computer thing

this my house so i will be posting about all about my interests here. there will be like 200 different things.

feel free to send asks ! i love those things

tagging system

#imgdreaming - art tag for my art

#txtdreaming - text tag for my text posts

#imgtaking - photography tag for my photography [whenever i get around to it </3]

#userimg - me tag for me

#mo & louie - tag for my funny guys which you MUST scroll through it is mandatory /silly links to their archive blog with everything mo & louie (where you should start as this tag only has art after i made this blog)

#termdreaming - coined terms that fit me & i wanna save :-P

#imgstruggling - struggle posting </3

#photography #video #txtpost #music #gif #stim #png #img #art - what is the post ?

#rain #water #nature - whats contained in the image ?

#[INTEREST] - whatever interest is featured in the post

#signage #city #structure #tech #trinkets #touys #winter - things im fond of ! (more tags will probably be added lol)

#green - green is my favorite color so it gets its own sparatic tag (tag only images i want to see when i want to look at green not any image w/ green in it)

#soft #home <- eermm yea

#tv #games <- stuff you would find on an old tv or stuff you would see in a video game !

#webbling - internet/web stuff

#messages - asks

#buddyboard - posts by my awesome buddies ! any that arent made by them but remind me of them would be tagged as #buddyboard:[NAME] like #buddyboard:ribsy as an example :-)

#ma #gma #nana - family tags for things that remind me of my family !

#⭕️ - objectum stuff :-P

#important - self explanatory, no ?

credits:

@/animatedglittergraphics-n-more (assets on this post)

@/???? (desktop background please let me know)

[reinerist]

tumblr should be paying its content creators for putting up with this much bullshit over the years

[dykerikki]

if MY wife was finally successfuly bonding with her teen daughter through a shared love of lying to the cops EYE would be happy for them and mind my business!! sorry to jeff sadecki that you cant be me

[itwouldeatyoualive]

going to write this actually. when u need something done right u have to do it urself

desperately need more fics & art where the pines family finds out abt fords past situationship/relationship/whatever w bill. please im on my knees

[gael-garcia]

American Fiction kind of a mess???

[kanamesengoku]

spoiler tag update for winter season: i'm planning to be watching and reblogging one piece, yubisaki to renren, and majo to yajuu, so tags will be #op spoilers, #ytr spoilers, and #mty spoilers (as well as the general #spoilers) tag for your blacklisting needs

[youareinlove]

pat mcafee calling travis a "fashion icon" is so 💀 he's literally one of us

[charmeenvivinne]

found out raspberry mousse cookie isnt a girl today hey guys