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jaegeraether · 3 months ago

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Sunsets and footballers (Part 81)

Lucy Bronze x Reader (64) / Alexia Putellas x Character (37) & Jordan Nobbs x Leah Williamson (18)

Masterlist (other parts here)

((3.9k))

Due to popular demand, I'm going to post a chapter bi-weekly, every Thursday and Sunday night until we hit Part 100!

YFN POV

“I love you, little one,” she heard Lucy whispering into her ear between soft kisses to the cheek. “I love you. I love you.”

YFN was far too tired to have woken up to it, of course. She’d had surgery the day before and now she had all of Wednesday to herself to get some well-needed rest after the chaos.

She woke around 11am, groaning due to the pain. “Luce..” she mumbled into her pillow, barely knowing where she was.

No response.

“Luce…” she said again, louder.

Again, nothing. She rolled tenderly and just far enough to see that Lucy’s side of the bed was empty.

“Lucy?” She called, louder. If she were anywhere, it would be the kitchen, surely.

Silence.

She turned back to her side and sat up, seeing a piece of paper on her bedside table with tablets and some water.

Good morning, little one,

I’m at training until 5pm today. Sarina let me have a little sleep in to be with you.

Please take your medication as soon as you wake and text me. I’ll reply when I can.

Jordan and Leah will be over later today around 3pm.

Please don’t cook or go out... just order whatever you need and rest.

I love you, my girl.

Love, Luce xx

YFN couldn’t help the little smile creeping across her face at the fact that she’d signed off with the nickname she used for her. Christ, she’d forgotten about training.

She took her painkillers and downed them with the water before texting Lucy that she was awake. She knew she wouldn’t be able to reply most of the day but would probably get permission to sneak a text or two given the circumstances.

Once she felt ready enough, she pushed herself out of bed and willed herself to move against the pain. She couldn’t go far and wasn’t allowed to put pressure on her knee just yet, and so she slid straight into the wheelchair by the bed and used that to get around. Although she wanted a shower, she knew she had to wait until later when Lucy could help her move.

She checked to see if Narla was fed first before managing to settle herself on the couch in the spot that practically had an indent of her ass and elevated her braced leg. She couldn’t even put her hair up and had to settle for it down and frustrating her. It took all of 2 minutes for her to realise just how much Lucy did for her, and how much she appreciated her.

YFN decided to use her free alone time to get some work done. She’d managed to get herself to the stage of having delegated quite a lot and organised her teams so well that they all went about their jobs, with her as an escalation point. She’d moved her original team up into supervisorial positions and they spoke directly with her the most. She replied to emails, overwhelmed with brands asking when the next event was, as they had gotten new clients and were eager to mingle amongst the football stars. Then she checked on the rosters for upcoming games and look at the progress of editing that her team had made with the videos from the Lumos event. She was excited that she’d be able to start uploading them, as the promo photos had been out for two days.

She used her spare time to create a roster of when they’d release the promos and content for each player, timing it with events or games. There was so much to publish, that it was quite difficult to not clutter too much. They had the content – now they needed to use it as effectively as possible.

She decided that the best interview to start with would be her favourite of the day – her interview with Alexia and Chiquito, paired with Lucy and Narla. She’d originally put the pair together because she knew that Alexia didn’t like speaking English and Lucy could not only speak both languages, but they were friends, and she’d help her comfort-wise and language-wise.

That had been one of the only times that day that YFN had seen Alexia actually smiling. She paused the video where Alexia and Lucy were cutely smiling at each other and it warmed her heart to see.

Her mind shifted to Ridley as she wondered on her. She was back, and it had made her so happy that she’d cried in her arms. She’d visited her and Lucy in the hospital the day before and given her a much-needed, long-lasting hug. They hadn’t been able to speak much, as YFN had been so out of it on drugs, though she did make a promise to her to speak about it soon. That had been enough for her, and still was. She had just wanted her best friend back.

She remembered their conversation recently where she’d admitted to Ridley that she had wanted her to stay around more, because she loved and missed her. They were such a big part of each other’s lives, and always would be. Linked by history and trauma, and a bond that she’d never had with anyone else. She’d been so happy when she’d agreed to stay around.

“From now on, I’ll be here as long as you want me around, okay?” That’s what she’d said as she kissed her hair.

And then… the heartbreak. The 3am wake up to her absolutely torn. On her knees. Begging her to let her go. “Please. I need to go, Blue.”

YFN knew why she was there. Usually, it was just a text or a call, or a brief hug and kiss before she disappeared. This time it was an apology. She said she’d be there – but she needed to go. And YFN understood that with every fibre of her being. And so, she’d let her. Because in her eyes, she wasn’t breaking a promise. She knew that Ridley would always be ‘right here’ and that one simple message would have her come running.

Because they loved each other.

She sighed, her eyes focussing back on the screen and away from where her mind had drifted to Ridley.

She’d started several segments within the ever-expanding content machine of Lumos. The first; her couch interviews which she would continue over the next few weeks as she continued to heal. The second; her pet interviews from the event. The third; her podcasts.

They would be the three largest segments that Lumos would undertake – and were presented by her, as requested by Catherine. It was the reason she hired her. For her mind, her questions, her interviewing techniques. Her ability to make players feel calm and comfortable and actually heard instead of led different directions with questions which soul purpose was to pry out information. Not at Lumos. Not in her interviews. She’d never let that happen.

The first interview from her couch segment she’d posted was Lucy’s as she immediately gained popularity from how flirty Lucy had been. The second had been Alexia’s as she rode the wave of publicity that Mark had created. The first podcast she’d released yesterday, containing her co-hosts, Jill and Alex along with their first guests, Leah and Bunny Shaw. She pondered on the pet interviews and her decision to post Alexia and Lucy’s first. Would it be too much to post them again? They were two of the most popular women in women’s football.

After consulting with her team and Catherine for a little while – she’d made the decision to post that as the first for that segment anyways, as it would come across as a strong start to Lumos content. Both segments were a completely different style, environment, and line of questioning. The couch was much more in depth and real, whereas the pet interviews were fun and enjoyable.

As soon as she posted her first of that segment, the doorbell rang and she looked at the time, smiling. Her friends were here.

JORDAN POV

Jordan wanted to stay in bed with that delicious warmth of Leah forever. She woke and shuffled her hoody off, rolling over to cuddle into her neck. Leah groaned as she woke slowly, tightening her grip, her fingers beginning to stroke unconsciously. They stayed like that a while. Slowly waking up by the feel, the sound and the warmth of each other.

Ever so naturally, things evolved. Leah’s stroking became larger, and under the back of Jordan’s shirt. Jordan wriggled into Leah as she pressed her lips to her neck and soon enough, they were moaning themselves awake as they enjoyed the feel of each other.

Jordan’s back tingled at the feel of Leah’s hands and suddenly she was horny. She found Leah’s thigh and hooked her leg over, using it as friction to move and grind against.

“Fuck,” Leah gasped as she felt her move against her. “Don’t stop, Jord. Take what you want.”

Jordan ground against her thigh harder as her body shivered at the feel of Leah everywhere. Her hand found that famous blonde hair of Leah’s and pulled her head back, just far enough that Jordan could properly bite into her neck.

She felt Leah shuddering beneath her.

“Fuck. Yes.”

Leah gripped the back of her head to keep her on her neck as her other hand made its way up the front of Jordan’s shirt to grab her breast as if it was hers. Like it used to be. Like she wanted it to be again. Her thumb found her nipple and played there as Jordan sucked the spot she’d just bitten. There would be a hickey, and usually Leah didn’t like this, but not today. She didn’t know if Jordan was testing her or not, but she didn’t care. She wanted all of her, all the time. She wasn’t ashamed to have a hickey from her. Hell, she wouldn’t even try to cover it.

A bark from below the bed had them both freeze. Jordan pulled away slightly to look down at Blu, her eyes now fully open.

She turned back to Leah who was very much excited. Horny. Her hair a mess and her pupils dilated. Regardless of her state, she was honest with her words.

“We… should be careful. Not until you’re ready, Jord.”

Jordan knew Leah would have stopped, but would she herself have gone through with it? Would she cry again?

She nodded. “I’m almost ready, Lea… almost.”

Leah smiled gently. “I know. Take all the time you need. I’m just happy to wake up next to you.”

Jordan let herself smile back as she pressed a kiss to her lips.

“Can I show you around Birmingham today?”

Of course, Leah had been to Birmingham, though the idea of a day wandering the city together was something she could never refuse.

“Only if I can buy you breakfast.”

“Deal.”

Jordan washed her excitement away with a morning shower, letting her fingers trace over her nipple where Leah had just been. Without thinking about it, her fingers kept playing while her other hand found her clit and began to tease. Thinking about Leah while touching herself was not insanity – though there was a good argument to say that it was as she was just a wall away.

Regardless, she didn’t know if she was ready, and needed to get her excitement out to avoid being a horny mess during the day.

Bracing her head against the tiled wall, she worked her clit and her nipple, eventually coming with a gaspy moan against the echoing acoustics of the room.

Jordan was in her room, staring at her closet and wondering what to wear when she hear Leah enter.

“Did you touch yourself in the shower?” Leah asked.

Jordan spun to her, barely catching her falling towel. “What?”

“You heard me,” the England captain said, stepping forwards.

“I…”

Shit, she’d heard the echoes.

“Yes.”

Leah’s eyes flashed like Jordan had never seen before, and she stepped forwards.

“Were you thinking about me?”

Jordan had to crane her neck back just to look at her.

“Y…yes.”

Leah tilted her head up slightly further with one finger on her chin. “Good.”

They spent the first half of the day in Birmingham, Jordan excitedly showing Leah all of her favourite spots around town, including her breakfast spot. Leah insisted on paying, and Jordan repaid the kindness by reaching out to entwine her fingers with Leah’s as they strode through her local park. Blu happily pranced next to them, Leah holding his leash as Jordan had agreed to. She knew how much she missed him. Missed this. And she felt the exact same.

She just wondered when she would know she was ready for sex with her again.

Lucy had called in the morning, just before she’d left for training, and had asked their activities for the day. She was worried about YFN being alone and almost immobile. Jordan felt like she hadn’t spent nearly enough time with her friend, and so around midday they had the car packed and headed off for their drive to London. A drive that they’d both done far too often as of late.

They dropped her clothes and belongings at Leah’s apartment before arriving at Lucy and YFN’s just after 3pm.

Leah knocked on the door.

A pause. “Come in!”

Blu ran in ahead of them, presumably to find his friend Narla, and the two made their way into the apartment to find YFN on the couch, looking much less tired than she had the past few days.

“Oh, I missed you!” Jordan exclaimed as she bounded over for a gentle hug. “Wow, someone needs a shower.”

“I know!” She sighed, exasperated as Leah hugged her hello also. “I can’t really do it by myself. Lucy will be home in a few hours. I’m sorry.”

“We can help?”

YFN paused. “I… uh…”

“You can be naked or have your underwear on,” Jordan shrugged to show it wasn’t a big issue. “Doesn’t bother us.”

She caught Leah’s look of happiness flash from the corner of her eye as she said ‘us’.

“I guess it would be nice to be all fresh for when Lucy comes home..”

“Exactly!”

The couple helped her into her wheelchair and towards the larger bathroom, rather than the ensuite. They gently helped her remove her clothes down to her underwear and bag her braced leg.

“Can this come off?” Leah asked, gesturing to the sling.

YFN nodded, a little embarrassed but happy to finally be able to clean herself.

Leah removed her sling as carefully as she could, looking at the new bandage and bruises on her collarbone. “How did it go?” She murmured, distracting her.

“Really well... he’s happy with it. I just need to be extra gentle so it doesn’t fail again.”

She nodded. “No more fighting people, mate.”

“Hey – that was very one-sided.”

“I know… I’m just… I’ll be happy when he’s out of the picture.”

YFN didn’t reply until Leah looked her in the eyes. She gave a small, knowing smile. “Me too.”

Once she was under the water, balancing on one leg, Leah left and Jordan stayed to make sure she didn't fall. She distracted her by talking about Leah and their heated morning, and then their day in Birmingham.

“I’m really happy for you, Dory,” she said, genuinely. That’s one of the things Jordan loved about her the most. She was always so genuine and loved when people were happy. “Do you know when you’ll be ready to…”

Jordan sighed as she turned so YFN could wash under her underwear. “I’m not sure… soon? I thought I was ready when I slept with her last time and look how that turned out.”

“You didn’t have closure, it’s completely understandable.”

“I just don’t want to make that mistake again and have us back at ground zero.”

“Oh, you won’t, trust me. You’re levels beyond that already. You just need to talk and communicate. And when you do eventually sleep with her again, go very, very slowly. Slow enough that you’re knowing how you feel at every step rather than bottling it in like last time, okay?”

Jordan nodded and turned back to turn the shower off. “How are you always right?”

“I honestly don’t know how it hasn’t annoyed Lucy just yet,” she laughed, letting Jordan help her from the shower.

“Not much annoys her, I think.”

“Except people chewing or breathing loud. If that’s around – she goes wild.”

“How come I never knew that?” Jordan wondered aloud.

“Because it’s the wonderful, wacky mind of Lucy and barely she can keep up with it?”

Jordan laughed. “Nail. Head.”

YFN POV

The couple insisted on making food seeing as YFN hadn’t eaten and Lucy was going to be hungry when she came home. YFN grimaced at the chaos and lack of coordination that was Leah and Dory in the kitchen, trying to work out how to make a roast. It was interesting to watch, though. They were patient with each other. Kind to each other. Just happy that they were together, even if it was all going to shit cooking wise.

Lucy stepped through the door just before five and immediately looked nervous at the sight of the kitchen and the pair in it. She shared a look with YFN who gave an amused, nervous grin in return.

“Oh, Lucy’s back!”

They greeted her, and then she was immediately by YFN’s side, holding her and breathing her in.

“Christ,” she groaned. “You feel so good. Wait. Did you shower?” She pulled back.

“Yes, Luce,” she chuckled. “The girls helped me.”

Lucy froze, her lips turning downwards. YFN touched them, pondering over them before leaning forwards to gently brush her lips on Lucy’s.

“I still had my underwear on,” she whispered into her lips, even though she didn’t need to. The kitchen was loud enough that they had their privacy.

Lucy made an unsure noise and YFN kissed her, dragging away that overthinking.

“It was friendly help, Luce. I promise. Now go and shower please, you’re stinky and I’m not in a position to escape..”

“Well, we can’t have that now, can we?” The footballer grinned and left for her shower.

Dinner ended up being surprisingly okay and edible. They all sat and laughed, talking about their days and what was happening over the coming ones. Lucy’s family were arriving tomorrow, and the couple seemed eager to join. They’d known Lucy her entire life, so of course they knew her family well too. They’d also both be at the game on Friday, organising to take YFN to watch.

“Oh, and in other news,” she announced spontaneously. “Riddles is back..”

“What?!”

ALEXIA POV

Ridley lowered her head and Alexia’s heart sunk at that. “Is there any hope for us?”

“Yes... Don’t run away again. Move forwards with me, together. I need you to be here for me, like I am for you. I need security. Don’t leave again. Fight for me. Fight for us.” Suddenly Ridley raised her head with almost mad determination in her eyes. And then… those dark eyes lowered to her lips. Fuck. Was she.. was she… about to….

Ridley cupped her face with one hand, drawing her down and reaching up as they met in the middle. Their lips met with passion and need.

Fuck. The way her lips moved. The way she tasted. Alexia tilted her head and her tongue began to brush her lips when… just as quickly as it started, it stopped. Ridley pulled away by sliding her head down, Alexia’s lips brushing along her cheek until Ridley pulled back. Her lips were a plusher shade of red now. That just made her even sexier.

“It’s all your choice from now on, Lex.”

Only if she knew that in her head, there was no choice to be made.

“I’ll stay…” she whispered.

“But not for long… I have to be back…”

“I know. Just a few more nights to be with Blue for her surgery. And then back to Spain.”

“And then back to Spain,” she nodded. “Okay.”

What the fuck was she doing? Alexia was usually so strong and independent. Now she was putty in her hands. And she loved it, because she knew Ridley was too.

Ridley’s fingers expertly unclasped her from her seat and collected her things.

“My bag and Chiquito…”

Alexia bolted upright, her breathing ragged. She looked around, disoriented until she realised where she was.

In her apartment, in Barcelona.

She looked at the time, 8am. To Alexia, that was a sleep in. Especially as her body was so used to waking up early for training.

A warm softness moved against her and she looked down to see Chiquito half awake, as if he’d been woken by Alexia’s dream also.

“Good morning,” she murmured as she let her fingers stroke through that soft, grey fur of his. He rolled slightly and stretched himself out in a way that had her stroking his belly. She smiled.

Alexia took her morning just to herself and Chiquito. He’d explored around last night, though he was still curiously finding new things, new smells or items of interest. She let him explore his new world as she took her shower to wake up and went to the kitchen to make her breakfast. As she did so, she felt herself feeling… a little out of place. As if her apartment wasn’t her home anymore. She hoped it was just because she’d been away for a few days, and tried to shrug it off, thinking it would go away. Instead – her mind moved to Ridley.

Ridley in her dream. Ridley on the plane. Kneeling in front of her. She’d never wanted to touch somebody so badly in her life.

She’d come back… but would she stay? Could she learn to love herself? And how would she prove that she’s not going anywh-

Alexia’s phone rang, and she’d been so in her head that she flinched. Putting the spatula down, she picked it up for the first time that day and softened at the name on the screen.

Ridley calling…

She didn’t even hesitate to answer.

“Hola,” she murmured.

“Bon dia, la Reina.” Ridley replied in Catalan. “I was hoping you’d be awake..”

“I’m making breakfast,” she hummed happily at the sound of her voice.

“Mmn. Did you make enough for me?”

Alexia laughed and gave her the same cheekiness back. “Oh, yes. More than enough. I’ll express post it straight away.”

“Or you could just invite me. Save the shipping costs.”

She rolled her eyes, very aware that she couldn’t get herself to stop smiling. “Okay then, when’s the quickest you can get here?”

“Faster than you will believe. I don’t believe that was an invite though, Lex. Use your words.”

She paused as if she were thinking about it before she spoke softly. “Ridley…”

“Yes, Alexia?”

“Would you like to join me for breakfast?”

Alexia heard a happy hum from the other end of the phone. “How unexpected. I’d love to. Now unlock the door, please.”

Alexia froze – her eyes widening as she spun towards the small hall leading to her front door. She gave a breathy laugh. “You… are very funny.”

“And very much going to prove to you that I’m here to stay, Lex.”

Part of Alexia thought it was a joke. Ridley would do something like that. The other part knew she wouldn’t mess with her promise. She began walking towards the door, the phone still to her ear as she unlocked it and hesitantly opened it.

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jesuisstay · 9 months ago

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Dad! Changbin

Listen my baby fever is so high recently. And @strayflowersstarsandlove is to blame for that (jk their dad!skz smau is just🥰🥰🥰). Please go show them some love on those if you haven’t already!!!

This little guy finally came together so @amyz78 I hope you like it!!

Read my other dad!skz headcannons here: Chan, Minho

Changbin walked in on you, pregnancy test in hand. You felt paralyzed. How could there be the two lines it should only be one? Your eyes struggled to meet his, but the weigh on you lifted when you say the smile blooming across his face.

it wasn’t easy, Changbin wanted to involved in everything. Even if that meant moving you across town to live with him. Buts that’s nothing he couldn’t hire movers to help with as he explained. He also kept explaining he paid for them to pack and move EVERYTHING of yours so baby please don’t stress either of you out with something as silly as this.

Changbin, who in his excitement couldn’t keep the news from his family who are now inviting themselves over for a weekly meeting. But even if his parents might be pushing for how they want their grandchild raised, Bin firmly has your back on what you two have decided.

He would be obsessed with the progress photos and apps. He be analyzing you bump down to the tea to know exactly how his baby is doing. Everyone thought at first it was to see if they are boy or girl (you wanted it secret until you meet them) but man just really needs to know his baby is 100% healthy

Changbin would also buy a portable ultra sound. The typical sound track of whatever mix he was stuck on was now replaced with the swoosh and patter on the little heart inside you. He’s already got their pattern memorized, carefully listening for those little eight notes.

He literally has never missed a birthing/parenting class except for one. He was so distraught with himself for missing the vital information on disposable vs reusable diapers. He might have been at work, but he was listening to everything he could via the speaker phone call he made you start.

He has his own little secret birth plan, but that goes out the window when your water breaks in the middle of the night because the baby is coming NOW. He’s on the phone with a midwife the entire time as he waits for them to get there but with how fast it’s going he has to step in.

Changbin won’t lie, the sight of a person coming out of a person is the freakiest thing he’s ever seen. Until he’s got his daughter in his arms, cleaning out her airways when in the middle of her screaming she opens her big eyes up at him. He thought he loved her unconditionally before but now he knows how much he truly loves her

In the end, little baby seo was delivered in the early hours of the morning and the midwife arrived just as mom and baby were settling down for a feeding.

#seo changbin x reader #seo changbin #Changbin #changbin x reader #changbin fluff #skz changbin #skz x you #changbin x you #stray kids #skz #skz x reader #stray kids x y/n #stray kids x you #stray kids x reader #stray kids comfort #stray kids fluff #skz fluff #skz imagines

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am-i-the-asshole-official · 6 months ago

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WIBTA for suggesting my girlfriend eats less?

(🫠 so i can find it later)

I know immediately it sounds insane but please I need advice. Also sorry it’s so long this is a sensitive topic and I want to treat it as such.

So my (24F) girlfriend (22F) has been trying to lose weight for about 9 months now. I let her offer up what info she wants but never ask because I don’t want to add pressure, and i’ve struggled with an ED and witnessed as my mom has struggled with her weight since I was born so I understand how hard it can be. But my girlfriend is as gorgeous as ever. And I know she’s been as active as possible so Idk why she’s so hard on herself.

My mom eats healthier than anyone I’ve ever known. When I was younger I watched her go through phases with taking on some weird diet that never really worked. She once told me she recognized her real problem is stopping when she’s “full” and not what she eats. She was insecure about that fact because she almost starved as a teenager. I tried to encourage her to accept her body if eating what she wants makes her happy. But she always says she isn’t happy when she’s not eating & only would be if she felt “sexy” again.

I’m starting to see a similar struggle in my love. She asked to go to the gym together, so I bought us a gym membership. We try to get there 3x a week for at least an hour each time. But she’s in her final semester before graduating so we stopped going as much about a month or two ago. She keeps talking about losing weight so her graduation dresses will fit better but I think they fit perfect. I zipped them myself. She never wears dresses or skirts, favoring baggy clothing and streetwear, so I think she’s just not used to the sensation of a form-fitting dress.

She joined a coed soccer team that would meet weekly for a month. I went to her games, she goes hard. She’s also started going for runs twice a week after work with a coworker. They did 3 miles one day! That’s still 3 days a week she’s been working out, plus the occasional day or two every other week we manage to get out to the gym.

She has taken to blaming me for us not going to the gym, not directly but will whine at me with a pointed tone, as if begging me to go to the gym after she told me we couldn’t go. I try to ignore it since I know she’s having a hard time and mostly venting. But if I agree and offer to drive us, she always has too much homework. Even if she’s been sitting on tiktok for an hour.

I do all the cooking for us. After she complained about not making progress I started serving us both smaller portions. Now she gets seconds after meals and will complain about being snackish or wanting a sweet treat less than 30 minutes after we’ve ate. If I stand firm on no treats (which is rare), she pouts. She refuses to get a treat without me, if I tell her she can go get one if she wants she won’t. If I give in, then later I feel guilty like I enabled her. And she’ll guilt trip me for it too. And then she’s unhappy about not losing any weight again and the cycle continues.

She’s got a broad build and a naturally curvy body. When she talks about being her ideal size/shape again, it’s always in photos of her at 14-17. I keep trying to instill in her that she can get muscular and fit but still might not look like that again because she was a child. She dismisses me every time and will compare her body to mine since we’re the same height, but I have different genetics and an overactive metabolism.

She’s active, healthy, muscular, and is maybe 30 lbs over the BMI for her height and age. I don’t believe in the BMI, just stating for reference reasons. Some of that “overweight” is definitely likely muscle since she said she gained weight after we first started going to the gym. She would not believe me when I said you gain muscle before you lose fat, even though she’s learned this in her major. In my eyes to have the kind of toning that she wants— and that athletes her shape have— she probably only needs to lose like 10-15 lbs. You can see the line of musculature on her thighs as she is. She eats way healthier than most college students because she’s a medical major and really cares about body health. I think a lot of her desire to lose weight comes from the athleticism of the PT’s she works with.

She continues to nitpick at her other behaviors (i.e. having a yasso icecream twice a week) that are far less “harmful” to her goals than overeating. But I fear it will cause a rift in our relationship if I try to suggest that to her.

I want to help her on her journey and the way she blames me makes me feel like I need to do more to help, but the only thing I can think to suggest is something I would never recommend on my own, let alone to my girlfriend who I think is beautiful as is. I don’t want her to think by me suggesting smaller portions that I have a problem with her perceived lack of progress. I only have a problem with being treated like it’s my fault she isn’t losing weight. When I tell her she looks amazing as she is she just tells me I’m biased because I love her.

I don’t feel it’s my place but Idk what else to do. So WIBTA if I told her that she should try to eat smaller portions rather than dieting since she’s already physically active and eats healthy?

#aita #am i the asshole #eating disorder cw

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adobolover123 · 1 year ago

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bakusquad when they’re on instagram (headcannons!)

——————————————————————

bakugo’s instagram:

-doesn’t post a lot on instagram, but when he does OHMYGODDDJ

-he would post mirror selfies of him flexing with songs attatched. (maybe it’s just the camera angle but his arms r HUGE ASFFF—)

-does he post bakusquad? tbh rarely. bc of his big ahh ego. but since he’s getting better and warming up to them he’ll repost his friend’s posts if he’s tagged in them (hangouts, workout posts)

-he only posts stories

-his username is probably something corny as hell, like:

king.explosionmurder , kb_explosionmurder , imbetterthanyou, LMAOO

or something else like that 😭

-omg. and if ur lucky enough to get on his close friends story, (from time to time,) he’ll post himself lip syncing to audios. DONT EVEN GET ME STARYEDDD

-he knows he’s attractive. like literally post more please.

-only thing on his acc is one highlight of himself.

-his pfp? mirror selfie covering his face 🤷‍♀️

kirishima’s instagram:

-omg y’all this cutie and his instagram.

-most-if not ALL of his stories are selfies with his friends, and he most DEFINITELY has a weekly dump of them.

-his selfies with them r mostly him and his friends working out, but he’ll post even the little selfies like them at lunch.

-he WILL go on a story spam when the baku squad hangs out.

-he’ll post his workout progress on his story fs

-let’s be real he’ll post those motivational quotes

-his username would be his hero name or his regular name with his bday numbers 🤷‍♀️ (redriot1016, e.kirishima1016, )

-his main posts are kinda a pattern; himself, then his friends, then himself again.

-when he posts on main posts of his friends he would attach funny ass videos of them, and dumb challenges the bakusquad would do with each other

-his two main highlights r himself and his friends ofc, but he would have a highlight for each hangout to make it extra special ☹️

kaminari’s instagram:

-out of the whole bakusquad, denki and mina are the most active.

-i think we all know how he would be like fr

-he is definitely that person who reposts EVERYTHING HE SEES ON HIS FEED; REELS, POSTS, MEMES,

— he spams his stories ( he made a gc on insta with the rest of the squad that are MAINLY him spamming them with reels; bakugo kept leaving it but kaminari keeps inviting him back in)

-but waitwaitwait; be careful skipping through his stories bc he WILL post some FINE ass selfies of himself for the hoes

-he also won’t hesitate to post himself lip syncing to songs on his public story

-like kirishima, he posts his friends a lot!

-he’ll post on his story with those add-ons that have to do with friends and he’ll make a mini collage of his squad :)))

-his username?… it’s probably one of those “theyluv___” “theyfw___” type shi 😭

-kaminari. has. a. lot. of. main posts.

-but they come out hella good; he prolly searches up “instagram post ideas” on pinterest

-his pinned post was when he had a whole photoshoot in a parking lot garage which funny story:

(the bakusquad decided to hang out at the mall, and they arrived at the parking lot garage. mina brought up how it was a good place to take pictures here and denki RAN with that. next thing yk;

bakugo was pissed asf waiting for them sitting down on the ground,

jirou was being denki’s photo critic,

sero was helping kirishima get the angles right,

and mina was showing denki what poses he should do. they were there for an hour. )

-he complains how his acc isn’t getting seen but he forgot that he put his acc on private

ashido’s instagram:

-second most active on instagram

-SHE HAS THAT HOT GIRL ACC FR

-she posts a lot, but her three pinned posts are: selfies of herself, a photoshoot of herself, and one of those cool hot photoshoots with the squad

-her highlights are: “💋” (herself) , “🔛🔝” (bakusquad)”, “my loves” (class 1A girls)

-her username is probably “iheart___” or something simple like “minaa_a”

-she posts herself a lot on her story AND EATS IT UP EVERYTIMEEE

-and she posts her friends on her story as equally as she posts herself ♡

-she posts a LOT on her close friends, she posts memes but mainly funny videos and pictures of the squad. including funny gc screenshots

-when her friends post she’ll repost them like 3 times, and spam/hype them up in the comments 🤗

jirou’s instagram:

-this girl got the whole themed instagram acc quickly.

-she only uses instagram to be up to date with music artists so she doesn’t care abt posting

-her username would probably just be her name or something like: “j_kyoka”

-but she does have one main post, and it’s a guitar she got for her birthday 🤗

-she posts reels of her doing all sorts of song covers with different instruments LIKE AHHHH

-her covers get a lot of attention, denki asks her how he could get attention on his acc

-since her acc got a lot of public attention (she’s thinking abt making another one just for song covers) everyone in class 1A is on her close friends so she could post stuff she’d like to keep a little private; like her friends, hangouts

-on her public story she would repost concert tour dates, music artists posts, stuff like that.

-she would post screenshots of songs she’s listening to on her public story

-sadly she doesn’t post herself—unless it’s a selfie of her getting a new instrument or something lol

-there was this one time she posted a cute selfie of herself in her cfs on accident, and denki and mina hyped her up sm fr ☹️

mina:

“YESSS”

“POST MORE 🗣️🗣️”

denki:

“OHMYOGF”

“U POSTED”

“OKAY JIRO I SEE YOUU”

jirou:

“sthu”

-she has a public highlight for covers, and her cf highlights are her friends !

-she doesn’t ask to take that much pictures with them, she usually reposts her friends stories when she’s tagged in them

-but she loves recording denki being stupid lol, she also has a cf highlight of that

sero’s instagram:

-almost like a bakusquad fan acc

-he’s like in the middle of jirou and denki when it comes to posting on his story

-he’ll repost memes, but not as much

-he posts sky pictures just bc 🤗 he has a highlight for them

-he doesn’t post himself ☹️😒 unless it’s a selfie with the squad

-in fact, he has a lot of main posts of JUST him and the bakusquad; he’s also the cameraman

-but he mainly takes pictures and videos a lot with denki, their pictures are funny ASF

-instead of just one highlight of the whole squad, he has a silly highlight for each of them!!

-funny videos, funny pictures, funny screenshots of things they said, you name it

-he also has a highlight for tiktoks the squad do together it’s so funny and cute

-his feed is everywhere tbh; a mix of memes and the squad

-his username is probably a meme quote or something like “notserohanta” 💀

———————————————————————

notes: (i wrote this at like 12am srry if it’s sloppy) those are my head cannons! i rlly don’t know wht to write for a fic anymore lol. i hope you enjoyed though!!

have a good day loves ♡

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bitsofshanshine · 7 months ago

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Miffy All-in-one Notion template (Ver. 2): Your gateway to peak productivity with an aesthetic Miffy life planner! 🐰🌷

Dive into the delightful universe of Miffy, where organization meets adorable charm in perfect harmony. This template isn't just a tool—it's a playful journey that turns your Notion workspace into a haven of cuteness and productivity.

Miffy-themed elements aren't just for show—they're designed to enhance your productivity with a touch of playfulness. From vision board to workspace, experience the perfect blend of functionality and cuteness, making your work and organization an absolute delight.

✿ What's Inside? ✿

🌷 Vision Board: Yearly Goals, Wishlist, Daily Affirmations, Habits Builder, Gratitude Journal, Countdown

🌷 Academics: Class Timetable, Course Notes, Deadline List, Quick Notes, Important Links, Journals & Essays, Assignments, Upcoming Exam List

🌷 Workspace: Work Progress, Work Files, To-do List, Quick Notes, Important Links, Clients, Meeting, Ideas

🌷 Journal: Monthly Journal, Yearly Journal, Affirmations, Photo Archive

🌷 Financial Planner: Monthly Bills, Monthly Expenses, Monthly Goals, Savings Tracker, Subscriptions, Wishlist, Accounts Balance

🌷 Book Library: Currently Reading, Reading Tracker, Monthly Reading Goals, Book Wishlist, Book Reviews, Notes & Quotes

🌷 Movies Log: Currently Watching, Watch List, Links, Movie Reviews, Movie Recommendations

🌷 Language Learning: Weekly Schedule, Study Notes, Study Goals, Study Materials, Quick Notes, Pomodoro Timer

🌷 Self Care: Morning Routine, Night Routine, Self-care Check, Skincare Routine, Period Tracker, Meditation & Affirmations

Additional Gifts

Free aesthetic Miffy PNG images, banners, and Notion covers that I used on this template (ZIP File)

✿ Get Miffy All-in-one Life Planner Notion Template (Ver. 2) only on Gumroad and Ko-fi! ✿

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honeytonedhottie · 3 months ago

Note

if u don't mind, could u show us a part of ur journal entries? i wanna know how to make mine look cute and would love to take inspo from u! also, what does "monthly digest" mean?

my monthly digest is just an overview of my month in a weekly fashion. so i set goals for each month and in the monthly digest i'll write like

week 1 : (talk about my week and what i did)

and i'll do that for all four weeks as a way to have everything encapsulated neatly. and then after the four week's i'll write an overview of the month and rate the productivity of the month. i do this to keep track of my progress ✍🏽

this was pulled directly from my journal which is why i blurred it out 🙈 but u can see how i structure my journal and import photos to kind of be aesthetically pleasing but i dont always keep the same structure but this is a good example of what i do. i hope this was the journal u meant cuz i also have the fashion and beauty and loa journal so if u have any more questions im happy to share those too 💗

#honeytonedhottie⭐️#ask🎀#notion #notion tour #journal #journalling

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slipping-through-my-fingertips · 7 months ago

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"A Bump"

Summary: She holds her tee shirt tightly over her stomach where a perfect little bump is forming. Annabeth quickly snaps the photo grinning like she’s just been given a first place prize before yelling for Percy.

A/n: enjoy the ttpd references

Ao3

Part 1 Part 2

Percy insists on taking weekly photos of Annabeth. Full body pictures of her: standing in the kitchen cooking bacon, walking in the front door after work kicking off her heels, or standing in the light of their bathroom before bed. They aren’t particularly good photos. Not in the way he wants them to be.

They’re mostly blurry because Annabeth is talking with her arms or walking out of frame. Percy never tells her he’s taking them. According to him, he was “trying to get candid images.”

So, Annabeth documents her pregnancy for him. She takes selfies in their floor length mirror. The same pose each day. Tracking her belly’s progress.

She doesn’t tell Percy about them. Annabeth keeps the photos in a separate album on her phone with a plan to get them all printed out on glossy paper and put them into a scrapbook.

There’s no real physical progress in her first trimester. Beyond the morning sickness that lasts well into the night. Annabeth is sick at all times of day. She keeps crackers and breath mints in her purse now.

Percy often rubs her back as she heaves into the toilet.

“I wish I could do something.”

She grabs his hand from behind her. “This is something.”

It’s a nice moment ruined instantly by more vomit.

Annabeth takes the morning off on a random Tuesday or so her coworkers believe. They have a baby appointment (as Percy has taken to calling them). It’s that morning when Annabeth is taking her daily photo she feels the bump.

It’s like it grew overnight. She holds her tee shirt tightly over her stomach where a perfect little bump is forming. Annabeth quickly snaps the photo grinning like she’s just been given a first place prize before yelling for Percy.

“What? Are you hurt? Is baby okay?”

He’s holding her stomach. When Percy meets her eyes, Annabeth is trying not to tear up, and says, “a bump.”

Their appointment goes smoothly; they get lunch afterwards at this sandwich shop nearby.

“We should come here again,” Percy says, mid-chew.

“Close your mouth.”

He grins at Annabeth. The same trouble maker smirk she’s grown to love.

“But, I agree,” she tells him, “we should make our way through the menu. The buffalo chicken sandwich sounds really good.”

“Not gonna be too spicy for you, Chase?”

Annabeth rolls her eyes.

“Says the man who won’t touch wasabi with a ten foot pole.”

He glares at her like he wants to hit her.

“Can’t hit me, I’m pregnant.”

“Shut up.”

They’re sitting at a table for four so Percy moves around the table and takes the seat next to Annabeth. He puts his hand on her bare thigh.

It’s July in New York. She’s wearing Jean shorts and her camp shirt, which thankfully still fits. Annabeth knows with the bump now making itself known she won’t be wearing her beloved orange shirt for much longer. Maybe she can get Chiron to send her a bigger size without raising suspicion.

Percy squeezes her thigh bringing Annabeth back to the present. He moves his hand upwards, not even bothering to glance around to see if anyone’s watching them.

No one is.

Annabeth is hot. She tells herself it’s because the AC in the shop isn’t doing its job.

Her shorts are baggy enough so that Percy can reach in and rub his fingertips along her underwear.

“Percy…”

“Keep eating,” he says.

She takes another bite.

“Annabeth?”

Percy removes his hand and lets it sit on her expose thigh again.

“Hey Aimee!”

They had graduated together.

Annabeth remembers sitting next to her in their chemistry classes, both of them groaning over how boring their Professor had been. Aimee and her studied for every exam together and always paired up for labs. Together them both managed an A minus in the course.

“So this must be Percy,” Aimee says, “shame we never met before Annie and I graduated.”

“It’s nice to finally meet you, Annabeth told me how great of a chem partner you were.”

“If I were half as good as her, we would’ve gotten A pluses.”

“Don’t sell yourself short,” Annabeth tells her.

“We should catch up sometime,” Aimee replies, “get lunch or a drink. You still have my number?”

“Yeah, I’d love to.”

“And Percy, you’re welcome to join us unless Annabeth needs an excuse to get away.” The girls chuckle but Percy still smiles fondly at Annabeth.

“She might want to get away from me,” Percy says.

“Anyway, I’ll let you get back to it. It was great to see you, Annie.”

“You too, Aimee. I will text you.”

“Great!” She starts to walk away but turns at the last second, “by the way, you’re glowing Annie, whatever you’re doing keep it up.”

Annabeth blushes. She’s not about to tell Aimee the real reason she’s “glowing.”

“Thank you, Aimee.”

Percy moves back around to his side of the table.

“See the bump, it’s making you glow.”

“Is that why you can’t take your hands off me?” She asks.

“The bump is sexy, sue me.”

Annabeth rolls her eyes, watching Percy take his next bite. Gods, she was so down bad for this man it’s ridiculous.

“Don’t you think it’s crazy that I’m having your baby?”

Percy swallows. “No? I always thought we’d end up here.”

“Pregnant at 25?”

“Okay maybe not exactly this scenario—“ he grabs her hand from across the table. Adjusts her engagement ring as Percy tends to do, “—I love this scenario for the record.”

Annabeth smiles. “I know, me too.”

“I just always saw us…”

“Together,” she says.

Because she always did too.

#percabeth #percabeth fanfic #percabeth fanfiction #my fics

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templetogavage · 9 months ago

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Weekly Weighing (02/18/24 to 02/24/24)

Here are 7 posts I enjoyed from the week of 02/18/24 to 02/24/2024.

1. February 18th, 13:30: https://www.tumblr.com/ilikeverythicc/742686481953472512

@ilikeeverythicc has made a bit of content along these lines, but I find this one particularly charming. Go to the link to watch him jiggle his gut while a fitness trainer sarcastically advises his audience on how to keep and grow love handles.

2. February 19th, 7:37: https://www.tumblr.com/t-thicc/742754902526377984

Obligatory comparison photo. @t-thicc makes the excellent choice in using a salad in the before and a pig in the after to cover the face. I love pig theming when it comes to gaining, personally, and I'm a sucker for contrast- well designed as these go.

3. February 19th, 13:52: https://www.tumblr.com/chubbybear79/742778447650275328

This might be my first time featuring @chubbybear79, but it shouldn't be, if so. He's a fixture of my dash, and seeing these photos, I had to include him. This is what a belly should look like when constrained by buttons.

4. February 20th, 10:58: https://www.tumblr.com/hairy-bradshaw/742857847553114112

Speaking of buttons! Short but sweet button pop from @hairy-bradshaw. Love the way he fills out (and bursts out of) this jacket.

5. February 20th, 11:26: https://www.tumblr.com/reverack/742859855356887040

@reverack is becoming a regular member of the Weekly Weighing, because I just love something about his shape and the way he poses for photos. This kind of progression over time is also really lovely to see. Here's to 300!

6. February 21st, 17:16: https://www.tumblr.com/beefyrog/742972471252238336

@beefyrog may be my personal favorite on gaining Tumblr, and this is the rare before pic from him. Glad to put them right next to each other here for everyone's viewing pleasure.

7. February 23rd, 9:35: https://www.tumblr.com/cultivated-mass/743124696403427329

As @cultivated-mass says in the post, back rolls go unappreciated. Love seeing this angle on a man.

And that's this week's Weekly Weighing!

#rotund roundup #weekly weighing #gaining and encouraging #weight gain kink #male weight gain

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hongmingoo · 1 year ago

Text

Untitled,

Pairing: Jeon Wonwoo x reader

Synopsis: Nothing could have ever prepared Wonwoo for this. Nothing. Those six months of preparation couldn't even help him stand on his feet now. His world has crumbled, shattered– destroyed beyond repair.

Inspired by: I can't run away | SEVENTEEN HHU, In the stars | Benson Boone

Word count: 1.2k

Warnings: MINORS DNI | Major character death, critical ilness, heavy angst, very slight mention of suicide, mental illness, self loathe, hurt. Let me know if i miss anything.

Today is another day of him walking through the day in mute, like a zombie. Wake up, cold shower, coffee, go to work, came home, ate dinner at Joshua's and went home to sleep. Before sleep, he washed up, and sat up at his desk to write a journal. To keep his sanity. His fingers caressed a photo of you, hidden in between the pages.

Without warning, his tears fall yet again. He doesn't even remember when was the last time he could fully smile. His heart broke at the sight of you, his dearest, in a pale yellow summer dress, smiling so brightly while staring at the sun. Wonwoo wept, with all his heart until he fell asleep on the desk from exhaustion.

…

"Wonwoo-yah. I really appreciate you loving my sister this much. But you being like this broke my heart to pieces. Let her go, Wonwoo. It has been 5 years since she passed. I don't think Y/n would've wanted to see you in pain like this. Please, talk to us," Joshua, his brother-in-law said, his voice cracking a bit.They were in the middle of drinking. It was their weekly routine.

Wonwoo raised his head to look up at him. He saw that tears were filling the waterline in his eyes. His lips turned up a bit in a sad smile.

"I can't," the younger man croaked, his clenched fist raised in the air before punching at his chest weakly. Wonwoo choked on his own sobs before he broke down completely, for the nth time.

His mind brought him back to the memory of 5 years ago.

He was still blissfully resting in your arms. But somehow, you looked restless. There was something on the tip of your tongue, but you couldn't bring yourself to say it. Of course, he noticed this so he asked you what was wrong.

"Do you remember that I said that I was going for a check up at the hospital last week? Because I collapsed the day before," you asked.

"Yeah. What about it?" He replied, looking up at you with loving eyes. You took a deep shuddering breath, and that somehow alerted him that he's going to hear something that he won't like.

"I was diagnosed with cancer. The same one that killed my mom. And they're already in my backbone…" you uttered and Wonwoo felt like his gut had been punched very strongly. His ears are ringing and his breath hitches. When he doesn't reply, you added,

"The doctors predicted that I'll only have 6-12 months at most due to how fast they're progressing. I- I'm sorry, Won" you broke down, pulling him into your embrace when you see the broken expression plastered across his beautiful face.

"Why are you sorry? It's not your fault, it's just–" he choked on his tears too, holding onto you so tightly.

What he said was true, it wasn't your fault. None of these are. But somehow it felt like it was. You never want to make him cry, never want to be the reason for his sadness and misery. But, not telling him about this news just to avoid seeing him sad would be unfair to him. Wonwoo is your husband, your lover. He deserves to know. After all, it takes two sides to make a relationship work.

"Let's try everything we can okay? Every possible treatment available. Every therapy, and every remedy we can find. You'll be with me all along the way, right?" You assured, trying desperately to lighten up the heavy air between the two of you.

Your small hands cups his beautiful face, gently wiping away the tears that cascading down his soft skin.

"I love you, Wonwoo. So so much"

"I love you too, Y/n. Please don't leave me"

As promised, you guys tried every possible treatment you can, and you stayed strong through it all, no matter how painful it is for you. Wonwoo could see how battered your small body got after every chemo, but you still smiled so sweetly at him. It made him feel guilty at some point to see you hurting like that. But he's a selfish man. He wants you to be with him forever. He doesn't want you to leave him. Even though he painfully knows that you dying would mean you won't be hurting anymore.

It's in the middle of the fourth month that you collapsed again, and this time it takes you 2 attempts at CPR and 24 hours to regain consciousness. The guilt is eating away at Wonwoo, seeing you so weak and fragile– very much in pain. He couldn't bring himself to see you like this. And yet, he didn't say anything but wished you would fight through it all for him. Because you love him. And you wouldn't leave someone you love.

But fate seems to hate him for thinking so, for being so selfish.

2 weeks after the 6th month, you breathed your last, in his arms, with tears staining your pale face. Wonwoo hated himself for making you cry even in your last moments, that your last words being you're sorry, instead of saying you love him.

In that moment, he was sure that you hated him too, for forcing you to go through all those painful chemotherapies, for taking disgusting meds, for not being able to be strong and let you go. You were sick and in pain, but he still clings to you like a child.

And for that, he refused to forgive himself. He let himself be in the deepest darkness possible, loathes himself so much that no one could save him. He would then go see you and apologize for being so stupid. He believed that he was the reason that you were in so much agony.

But, so deep in his heart, he desperately wished that you would forgive him. That you'd tell him it's okay, it was normal to be afraid. So that he can be free from his misery. He wished that you'd pet his head and tell him you still love him despite his stupidity, so that he can breathe properly again.

That night, after 5 long years, you appeared in his dream. Looking so ethereal like a literal goddess. You took him in your loving embrace, kissed his face and hair so gently like he's so fragile. You let him weep in your arms for who knows how long.

"I love you so much, Wonwoo. Please don't be in pain anymore"

His eyes shot open, seeing he's passed out at Joshua's couch as usual. The windows are open a bit to let the cool air in. And for the first time in a while, he can breathe properly. The heavy feelings confining his chest have dissipated and he believed that it's your doing.

"I love you, Y/n. Thank you for staying with me"

And that night, Wonwoo realized that you might not be there with him physically, but you'll always be there in his heart and mind.

-Fin-

#seventeen angst #seventeen wonwoo #wonwoo #wonwoo angst #seventeen x you #seventeen x y/n #seventeen x reader #wonwoo x reader

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chloe-caulfield94 · 1 year ago

Note

What are you thoughts on Marshfield?

I think that there's one factor that makes this pairing believable and one factor which makes this pairing unbelievable.

The factor making it believable is that Max is the only person in the whole wide world that cared about Kate when she needed care and support the most. The fact that Kate's mother and aunt not only didn't support her, but actually made her burden much harder by accusing her of wrongdoing (when she was clearly a victim of something horrible) is well known, but I think Kate's friends and the rest of her family should be ashamed of their actions (or inaction) too.

By the time Kate tries to commit suicide, Max has only known her for little more than a month (the game takes place in October, school year almost always starts in September, Max just moved into town to attend Blackwell for her senior year). We know she and Kate had weekly tea parties, but given the short period of time they've known each other they couldn't have had more than a few of those.

Kate does have long-term friends - Stella and Alyssa. They've probably known each other for three years at that point, if not more. Max can find a photo of them with Kate in Kate's room. But they are nowhere to be found during Kate's crisis. Max even comments the find with "I didn't know they were friends", suggesting that as soon as the video started circulating, Stella and Alyssa began avoiding Kate. So Max, who didn't attend Blackwell in the preceding years, didn't even know they were supposed to be Kate’s friends. Max, the new friend, did everything in her power to help. Kate's so called long-term "friends" did nothing.

And Kate's father is a sorry excuse for a parent and for a man.

The video Victoria posted online shows Kate taking a few sips of a drink and immediately starting to behave erratically, before being removed from the party by Nathan. To any rational observer that was a date rape in progress. The victim was roofied and then the perpetrator removed her from the party under the guise of "taking her home".

Kate's father should have immediately removed her from Blackwell and brought her home, because she clearly was at risk of the worst things possible happening to her over there. And then he should have gone to the cops and sought justice for his daughter.

Instead, he sent Kate a letter saying that he forgives her and that he will always love her, no matter what. Forgive her what? Falling victim to a horrible crime? Kate's father's letter strikes me as something not motivated by genuine care for her, but as sanctimonious, phoney, self-serving, holier-than-thou virtue signalling. “Look at me, I forgave my wayward daughter”. The only result it could have had was making Kate feel guilty. And it did precisely that. When Max brings up Kate's father while trying to talk her down from the roof, Kate says that her poor father loves her, even though she disappoints him so much. WTF? He was disappointed in her because she fell victim to a hideous crime? It's clear that her father's "forgiveness" only increased Kate's burden, not lessened it.

In what world does it make sense for a father to learn that his daughter was most likely date raped and to send her an "I forgive you" letter, while doing nothing to protect her or to seek justice for her? And if Kate's parents don't know what roofies or date rape are, then they are clearly not qualified to prepare three daughters for the dangers they might face in the world.

So given the abysmal treatment of Kate by everyone in her family and friend group, with the sole exception of Max, I can easily imagine her developing very strong feelings for Max, her saviour.

But the thing that makes Marshfield not believable are Kate's religious beliefs. Now, Christians do not necessarily hold homophobic beliefs. There are some Christian denominations that even bless same-sex marriages. However, it seems to me that Kate's family belongs to one of the more conservative Christian denominations, which frown upon, if not outright condemn, same-sex pairings. At the roof, Kate clearly has a crisis of faith. She says that God didn't protect her from the horrible abuse she suffered. If that crisis of faith continued even after Max talked her down, she could possibly re-evaluate her beliefs. That could also mean re-evaluating or outright rejecting the belief that a girl romantically pursuing another girl is somehow inherently wrong.

But when Max visits Kate in the hospital, it's clear that her crisis of faith is no more. During her conversation with Max, Kate quite clearly says that she now believes just as strongly as before. That doesn't mean she couldn't re-evaluate her beliefs on homosexual relationships. We don't even know if she had a negative opinion on relationships like that in the first place. But assuming she did, her quick comeback to her previously held beliefs makes any change in that regard less likely.

#max caulfield #kate marsh #marshfield #life is strange #lis

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yes-divine-ruler · 2 years ago

Text

𝐑𝐈𝐕𝐀𝐋𝐒

part 2

pairing: kai anderson x fem!reader

CW: smut incl. vaginal sex; not proofread

Taglist/ @v-love @evanpetersfav @demxnicprxncess @kitwalkersgfff @quicksilversg1rl @iruzias @alexxavicry @soaringcloud @laynna-mcknight @humdrumexistence @simp4petermaximoff f @sultrysullen @evan4ever @zoebens0ncult @therewasnothinginthekoolaid

word count: 3252

all parts

Kai didn't think you'd run against him after he technically assaulted you in his office. He thought you would fear him, knowing what he was capable of, and knowing now that he wasn't afraid to show that to you.

He sat in his parent's basement, his eyes scanning across the monitor of his computer. He was on facebook, working on his campaign, trying to further promote himself across Brookfield Heights. His eyes narrowed as he scanned over the newest council post, and then widened when he realised what it said.

He almost punched the screen seeing a proud, smiling photo of you front and centre, pinned to the council's page. Everything about you was so unbearable, but he couldn't help but feel his heart skip a beat seeing your face.

Ignoring the feeling, he skimmed through the post that was announcing a new candidate for council, paired with a list of your policies.

"Are you fucking kidding me?" He muttered to himself, equal rights? Securing a living wage for all people? Climate change?

He almost threw up from how progressive and stupid everything was- did you really think you could make a change with all that?

"Winter!" Kai called out to his sister, who after a minute, came running down the stairs to be of service.

"Yes Kai?" She asked wearily, noticing her brother's heated tone and the way his teeth were grit and his jaw was locked.

"Read this bullshit and then get everyone to come down here, obviously killing Sally Kefler wasn't enough," he muttered, pushing himself in his wheeled desk chair to give Winter the room to crouch down by the monitor and read the post.

In her head, she was pleased at the opponent's policies, so happy to see that there was a candidate that actually cared about everyone's quality of life. Winter was never a firm believer in her brother's views, but since he was all she had, she had no choice but to stick by his side. They were blood, and nothing could come between that, even Kai's cult. The photo peaked her interests, noticing that you were the girl that caused a riot at Kai's rally earlier in the week, and also the girl that handed her a flyer that she accepted outside her favourite vegan cafe.

"Right," Winter got up from her knees and walked back towards the stairs, "I'll call everyone."

She was hoping that her brother wouldn't try and hurt you, but she also knew hoping that was pointless, because that's what he did; he never won anything fairly.

The meeting commenced shortly after, everyone gathering in a circle on small fold-our chairs and peering at each-other curiously.

"Everyone," Kai started, lacing his fingers together and resting them in his lap, "I'm afraid we have more competition we must eliminate."

The group was getting tired of culling Kai's completion, but seeing as it was the only way for him to become councilman, it was almost a weekly mandatory occurrence.

"This is Y/N, my opposing candidate for council," Kai sets his laptop in his lap, and turns it around so the screen was on display to the rest of the group. Most eyebrows shot up in interest, some recognising your face from town hall.

"And thanks to Jack," Kai points his outstretched arm in the direction of his devoted follower, "we have an address."

"So, what are you suggesting Kai?" Beverley speaks up, her arms crossed over her chest as she cocks her head to the side in question.

Kai lets out a maniacal laugh, closing his laptop and setting it back down to the side.

"We get rid of her, of course."

You were totally consumed with your campaign for council you hardly had enough time to think about anything else. Even when you were brushing your teeth in the morning, you were practicing a winning smile, and the way you'd speak in front of the camera for your upcoming news interview. Everything was fuelled by the absolute loathing you felt for your component, and how hard you wanted to take him and his malicious cult down.

"Hello, our future councilwoman," Jude interrupted your thoughts, behind her a blonde woman. The presence of a stranger took you by surprise, seeing as you were in the comfort of your apartment and dressed accordingly.

"This is Ivy."

You raise an eyebrow, crossing your legs in your desk chair.

"Hi Ivy," you say reluctantly, itching to know where this was going and why she was in your apartment.

"Ivy here has come from Kai Anderson's cult, she admitted to all of it," Jude says excitedly, calling her hands together for emphasis.

Your eyes almost bug out of your head.

"Kai Anderson? As in, the Kai Anderson we're trying to take down, what does she want?" You get out of your chair quickly, covering yourself with your robe and taking a step back. How could Jude just bring in one of Kai's cult members in such a calm and relaxed manner?

"No Y/N," Jude steps forward, "she's on our side, she wants to take him down too."

"Like a double agent?"

"Precisely," Ivy butts in, her voice chipper. You take a moment to process what's happening, now that you have a big advantage over Kai and the remainder of his murderous cult.

"I need to sit down," you shuffle over to the couch, and soon Jude and Ivy join you.

"Look, Kai is a dangerous man. He doesn't care about any of us like he says he does, he's going to eliminate us one by one so it's just him at the top," Ivy starts, fiddling with the hem of her cashmere sweater, "everything you stand for I resonate with, I want you to win this, I want to help you beat Kai."

Ivy delves into the dynamic of the cult, revealing to you in the process their plan to "get rid of you".

"I knew that was going to happen," a small smile curls at the corner of your mouth, "I know he killed Sally."

"Look-" Ivy reaches across the sofa to grab onto one of your hands. You noticed her palm was clammy.

"I'll let you know when he comes up with an official plan, you'll be safe, we'll get you out of here."

It warmed your heart to know Ivy was on your side, but you couldn't help but question her motive, despite telling you she despised Kai and felt sucked in by his charisma and promised protection. Maybe she was just trying to infiltrate your group and get the ins and outs of your plans.

"Prove it to me," you start, letting go of her hand and crossing your arms over your chest, "prove it to me, and tell me where Kai will be tonight."

Her eyes widen at your sudden change in attitude, but she nods her head in understanding. You assumed Ivy realised that it seemed sceptical.

"Okay, I'll text Jude his whereabouts," Ivy stands, smoothing out her sweater, "I know he's feeling threatened at the moment, and if I know him well enough, I can guess he'd be at a bar tonight mixing vodka with his adderall."

It was 8 pm on the dot, and just as Ivy said, you'd peered inside to see Kai sitting alone behind the bar on first, mixing his drink with his forefinger. His head was bowed as his eyes stayed focused on the glass in front of him, his lips turned downwards into a scowl, his forehead creased with wrinkles. He almost looked as though he was ready to pick up his glass and throw it across the room. You pushed open the door and let yourself inside, strategically sitting three barstools away from your worst sworn enemy.

"Vodka and coke please," you order politely from the bartender, and sit with your fingers tapping the bench as he nods and pours together your drink.

You weren't sure what your plan was now that you were here, alone, close to Kai. You saw him in the corner of your eye, watching as he tilted his head back and finished his drink, his adam's apple bobbing with every gulp. You shifted in your seat, thanking the bartender as he handed you your drink. You looked down at it, and only just realised how badly you needed to take the edge off. Planning a campaign wasn't easy, and in a way you related to Kai since you could imagine he was feeling the same way. If he had feelings.

It didn't take long for you to finish your first drink, and then your second. Soon, you were four drinks deep and the room started to spin in slow, whirling circles. You hadn't had much time to eat today, and the alcohol courses through your veins steadily making your heart thump.

"Following me?"

You were startled to hear a voice by your side, almost totally forgetting that there was anyone else in this bar apart from you and the bartender.

Turning to the side, and almost falling out of your chair, you saw Kai Anderson, the scowl that was on his face a mere hour ago replaced with the biggest shit-eating grin.

Kai had seen you as soon as you walked in. He could sense your stress, and knew you were going to have a few drinks. It’s what he needed to talk to you, to loosen you up, to make you more pliable. He couldn’t help but notice the soft pink hue that danced across your nose and flushed your cheeks and it made his heart flip again. Much to his despair, he’d admired you from the first time he laid eyes on you at town hall. But, he couldn’t let a pretty face and a strong get in the way of world domination.

“I’m here for a drink, Anderson,” you stated as clearly as you could, trying to keep a straight face. Nothing seemed serious enough to you right now, and without thinking, you cracked a small smile. Kai was surprised by your joyous facial expression, but he didn’t show that your smile had any kind of effect on him.

“You happen to be at my bar,” he replied, sitting down on the barstool next to you. You were sitting so close your legs slotted between his open ones. Trying not to acknowledge your proximity, you cleared your throat.

“I wanted to try something different,” you spoke convincingly enough for Kai to shrug you off. Silence overpowered the space between you, allowing the soft hum of the guitarist in the corner and the ambient chatter through the bar to ring in your ears.

“Right,” he finally said, picking up your empty glass and tipping it over.

“How many of these have you had? I didn’t know you were a drinker,” Kai mocked, letting out a small chuckle.

“I’m not-” you snatched the glass from his hand in annoyance, “I just needed this tonight.”

Kai let out a forced couch, nodding his head at your confession. His gaze deterred to wooden overhang of the bar, and he tapped his fingers on it as if he was deep in thought.

“What’s got you so worked up?” You bit your lip as you grabbed one of his hands, stopping his tapping. Suddenly, he didn’t feel like your enemy, and more like a random hot guy at a random bar. Your mind had wondered to your small encounter in his office various times over the past week, and tonight it only felt like it was on steroids. Probably because of the alcohol.

He stopped tapping, and turned to look at you again. Much to his dismay, he felt his heat begin to beat in his ears, and his blood pump to beneath the confines of his jeans, more specifically, to his dick. He breathed in a shuddering breath, and cocked his head to the side. He noticed the way you looked all doe-like at him, your eyes beaming lustrously in the dim overhead lighting. It turned him on so much, just to see you stare at him like that. And you knew that, because right now, you wanted him just as bad.

“I usually get a room for the night, to get away,” Kai looked everywhere but you, your hand still on top of his. You wondered why he wore tape around his fingers, but it was strangely hot.

“Let’s go,” you say, grabbing his hand and stumbling off the bar stool. You barely made it outside before you pinned Kai to the wall and connected your lips in a lust-filled kiss. If you’d asked yourself if you’d hook up with Kai Anderson after how he humiliated you in his office, you’d think you were crazy to even ask, even though it consumed your mind. He was a murderer, a psychopath, your council opponent, but you couldn’t keep away.

One of Kai’s hands gripped your hip, pulling you in impossibly closer to him, sliding his tongue into your mouth. He used his other hand to wave down a cab. You broke the kiss, wiping your sticky smeared lipgloss with the back of your hand as you tried to get your breath back.

“Cabs here,” Kai smiled down at you, grabbing you by the wrist and pulling you into the backseat. His lips returned to yours almost immediately after giving the driver the address. Your tongues danced in eachother’s mouths, the only thing you could taste being alcohol.

“Fuck,” Kai muttered, detaching his lips from yours and trailing kisses down your jaw, to the back of your ear.

He sucked on the skin just below your lobe, sending a cold shiver up your spine. You couldn’t help the quiet moan that left your lips, feeling his teeth bite at your neck. Any other day, you’d feel for the cab driver, but tonight it was exactly what you needed.

“I hate you, you know,” you said, just above a whisper.

Kai chuckled against your skin, his warm hand trailing under the hem of your short dress. His fingertips brushed your heat though your panties, already sopping and stuck to you.

“Your body says otherwise, otherwise, I’d say I hate you too.”

You shuddered feeling him play with you, delicately drawing circles on the fabric of your panties, barely brushing over your sensitive bundle of nerves.

The cab couldn’t pull up fast enough, and when it did, Kai left the driver a 50 and told him to keep the change. He was just in much of a hurry to bury himself balls-deep inside you, his frustration surrounding your candidacy giving him the desire to make you sob.

The minutes leading up to the reveal of Kai’s booked room were tense, your vision almost blurry from the alcohol as you followed him down the dark hallway. You weren’t sure where Kai was staying, and why it looked so dingy, but if it had a made bed, you couldn’t care less. All you needed was him.

“Hurry up,” you whined, as Kai slid the key into the lock and turned it to open the door. He only let out another laugh, pulling you inside and shutting the door with a slam.

He was quick to pick you up, your legs instinctively wrapping around his waist, only just giving your eyes enough time to adjust to the light he’d turned on. He kissed you again, this time with more force, his hips rutting into yours against the door. The cool metal of the door chain dug into your back, as he tugged his jeans down his legs. You gasped, feeling his tip rub against your clothed heat. You’d never needed anything more.

“Please,” you plead against his parted lips, as he moves your panties to the side, now running his tip up and down your slick folds. Kai was so ready to destroy you, and you didn’t even know it.

“Is this what you want?” He asks, his voice husky, still only prodding teasingly at your entrance. He needed to hear you beg for it.

“Yes, fuck. Please Kai,” you whimper, your nails digging into his broad shoulders through his shirt.

“Please what?” He taunts, his eyes so dark with hunger they looked almost all pupil.

“Please, fuck me, I want you,” you pathetically cry, jerking your hips forward.

“Careful what you wish for sweetheart.”

He’d barely finished his sentence before he pistoned into you, a scream almost leaving your lips from the stretch alone. He’d given you no warning, as he began to thrust savagely into your tight cunt, revelling in the way you were already pulsing around him. You thought you might faint, suddenly light headed from the much needed stimulation.

“Oh fuck, your little cunt is tighter than I thought,” Kai hissed between clenched teeth, as your head lolled back to rest against the door.

He slammed you onto him again and again, the wet sounds of your head sending him into overdrive. He couldn’t wait to fill your precious cunt with his cum, because to him, then it would feel like he’d won.

“Oh yes, yes- yes!” You were a spluttering mess against him, taking in every harsh rut so well it filled you to the brim.

He bottomed out inside you, his tip rubbing up against your sweet spot making your eyes rolls and your jaw relax. He needed more control, he needed to see you melt more under him.

He pulled out, causing you to whimper at the loss of contact, before he’d thrown you onto to the bed. You laid back and waited for his next move, watching as he tore off his shirt, exposing his toned chest and abs.

He reached for you, turning you over and pulling your ass up into the air. He positioned himself back at your entrance, and this time when he slid inside you, it hit deeper than before.

Your rested your cheek on the mattress, moaning out with every brutal ram of his cock like you were counting them.

“Shut the fuck up,” Kai seethed, tangling his fingers in your hair and shoving your face into the comforter, your moans now muffled by the obstruction.

He tugged your hair so hard, it felt so good. Tears welled in your eyes as he continued his grave assault on your pussy, your arousal dripping pathetically down your inner thighs.

“Ready for my cum, slut?” He spoke so lowly of you, his words humiliating and degrading, but so arousing.

He lifted your head by your hair, giving you a moment to breathe in the cool air in the room.

“Yes,” you answer, waiting for him to finally come undone inside you.

“Yes what?”

“Yes, please fill me with your cum, sir,” your choice of pet name sent Kai over the edge, the final telltale twitch of his cock and the tightness in his groin pushing him to orgasm.

He only needed to slide his salivated fingers over your clit a few times for you to release around his cock, your thighs shaking from the tidal wave orgasm you were experiencing. If Kai was anything, it wasn’t a selfish lover. As promised, Kai coated your inner walls with his load, and pulled out almost immediately after he’d come down from his high.

You collapsed onto the mattress, wiping your tears as they fell from your glassy eyes. Kai had gotten what he wanted, and so had you.

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trashgothaoife · 9 months ago

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Transition timeline

Well since it seems we are big scary people... but also seen people who were spreading fear around transitioning especially later I figured why not show my progress.

I came out in 2020 to myself and my bestie, then family in 2021.

This was me in October '20 at thanksgiving. I had come to terms and was figuring out my next steps from here (shitty crop because it's a family photo) 2020, the pandemic and work from how gave me the space to really work on myself. I was about 310lbs in this photo, 6'2" and for the first time in my life kinda excited about the future. I started working out for the first time in ever and trying to get my life on track.

next up is me in September '21 I had just started HRT the month before, and managed to drop down to about 200lbs. No changes yet from HRT but I had only just started that, but I was happy, and this is me holding my brothers pyranees Diogee.

Now me in May '22 about 9 months on HRT and had started seeing physical changes. Not figured out styling yet so all of '22 was pretty much spent figuring that out. Mom wanted to document this, as she did a bunch of times and love her for that.

Here was june '22 first time wearing a bathing suit since a LONG time. Did the blue hair thing (blue hair and pronouns) and I liked it when it was vibrant, but that didn't last long. Spending time with my dad because he was dieing due to cancer, he died 4 months after this. I had started regaining weight here because of the stress watching my dad struggle and in pain.

Here is November '22 starting to figure out my style a lot more. Bleached out the blue as it was so faded, kinda like me being blonde/white

This was May '23 probably one of my favourite pictures of myself and you can see this is the style I use today. My trash goth elf demon aesthetic.

Here we go at my 2 year HRT anniversary, August '23

October '23 I had just lost my cat who had been my best friend for over a decade. I might make another post dedicated to her. So in a year I had lost both my dad and my pet.

And this is now February '24 I am working on getting my weight back on track, going for daily walks, and now weekly hikes, and back on progesterone with my HRT, and on the list to get bottom surgery which I hope doesn't take too long.

I started transitioning at 34, now 37 and I am a completely different person, both physically and emotionally. I actually can look in the mirror and recognize myself in the mirror, and loving how I look. I have a ways to go before I am where I want to be, but I have hope and a path to get to that place. It is not an impossibility and I am loving my life and looking forward to the future.

#transgender #trans rights #trans representation #trans timeline #trans woman

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tokidokitokyo · 7 months ago

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Photo by Kumiko SHIMIZU on Unsplash

2024年3月31日

Spring is in the air, the cherry blossoms are blooming, and every year around this time I get energized to study more. In March, I spent a lot of time focusing on the things I want to improve upon in Japanese, so I am proud of my achievements.

また春が来てて、桜が咲いてて、毎年この季節に勉強のやる気が出ます。3月に日本語の成長したかったところに集中して、結構上手くいったと思います。

March Progress

My goals in March included Reading, Writing, and Grammar, with a focus on Kanji and Vocabulary taking a back seat.

Here is how my goals went:

〇 = Great, △ = Decent, ✖ = Not Great

Read daily - read almost every day 〇

Write sentences 4 times a week - only wrote sentences about once a week △

Review kanji and vocabulary flash cards daily - didn't practice flash cards much at all ✖

Review 1-2 N3 grammar points weekly - goal achieved 〇

Learn 1-2 N2 grammar points weekly - goal achieved 〇

Work on recognising あ～お hiragana with my son - he is doing well with あ、い、う so far 〇

I made good progress with the areas I was focused on! I completely neglected Kanji and Vocabulary, but since Reading and Writing use both of those, I think I'll be okay. I'd like to practice Grammar more often, and I'd like to practice writing more sentences with the grammar I learn.

My son is going to be 4 soon, and so at both Japanese preschool and English preschool they are beginning to work on writing lines. So I have downloaded some print out pages to help him trace and recognize the first five hiragana (あ～お). He is interested in it, and we draw pictures and I try to make it fun for him. He can already recognise these first characters, so I'll try to keep adding to them (か～こ next!).

April Goals

For April, I'm going to try to harness my momentum and continue with Reading, Writing, and Grammar. I'd also like to fit in more podcasts to work on Listening. Not too many changes with my goals between March and April, but I'll adjust as needed (for time constraints, interests, etc.)

Read daily

Write sentences 4 times a week

Review kanji and vocabulary flash cards daily

Review 1-2 N3 grammar points weekly

Learn 1-2 N2 grammar points weekly

Listen to 1 podcast a week

Continue to work on あ～お hiragana with my son, add in か～こ

Wishing everyone a lovely spring!

皆さん、素敵な春を過ごせますように！

#日本語 #japanese #japanese language #japanese langblr #japanese studyblr #langblr #studyblr #日本語の日記 #japanese diary #japanese goals #japanese goals 2024 #tokidokitokyo #japanese studyspo #japanese goals march 2024 #my photo #tdtphoto

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joggerfive · 21 hours ago

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Confession

Based on a clip from Season 3 Mission 10 (but set at some point in S1/S2)

Janine and Simon have some pillow talk about their pasts and their potential future. Also, Simon reveals he's just as much of a dickhead as he's always been.

Also available on AO3!

(TW: cancer mention)

“None of it mattered, though. It didn’t stop what was going on inside, where the gym and the tan couldn’t touch. Every moment in that perfect body of mine, cells dividing and dividing and dividing until someday, just one of them, only one, that’s all it takes. Then suddenly, you’ve got your own death growing inside you. I was pretty on the outside, but inside, I was just rotting away."

- Simon in Season 3 Mission 10 Clip 4

Simon looked like a smug bastard and he knew it.

He couldn’t help it as he lay naked and sated on the mattress, covers rumpled and pushed to the end, his heart rate returning to normal as he caught his breath.

“Stop watching me.”

He smirked, not heeding the instruction at all.

“Can you blame me when the view is so damn lovely?” He mused, winking at Janine even as her back was turned as she leaned down to place everything they’d used back in the designated drawer, then pushed a heavy box in front of it, concealing its presence from anyone else who would ever dare walk into her bedroom.

“Relish in said view while it’s there, then.” She said as she stood back up.

Simon did exactly that, unashamedly raking his eyes up and down her bare body before she reached up to pick a sky blue nightie from her oak wardrobe then pulled it over her head, the hem landing just above her knees.

Simon tilted his head to the side, humming, “That number looks a bit like a hospital gown, and yet you still make it look sexy. That’s a feat, I was never able to do that on any of my visits.”

Janine had been putting her hair up into a loose ponytail, but halted her movements as the words registered.

“What?”

“Nothing.” He amended quickly, resting his head against the pillow again, “Talking nonsense. As I do. ‘Specially when you’ve turned my brain to mush. Now, forgive me if I turn into a stereotypical male and fall asleep.”

He closed his eyes, willing his breathing to slow. Seconds later, he felt the mattress dip beneath him as she sat down, and then her voice to his left.

“No, what did you mean?” The words were soft, yet laced with a concern that he could tell she was trying to conceal.

He exhaled heavily in a sleepy sigh, “Just… Let it go, love.”

Janine knew that he knew that she melted whenever he called her that. He was pulling out the big guns, but she remained unfazed, dedicated to her objective just as she was in other aspects of her life.

“I won’t.”

He sighed again, opening his eyes and turning onto his side to face her. “You’re a stubborn gal, you know that?”

She didn’t reply, instead simply raising a poised eyebrow as she waited.

He squinted at her, then grunted as he flopped onto his back, “Damn you and your MI6 interrogation techniques.”

Janine laid down next to him, the silk fabric cool and smooth against his bare side. She wrapped a slender arm around his middle and traced her thumb against his hip in small, excruciating circles.

A shiver made its way up his back, “They teach you to do that to your victims too?”

“Suspects.” She corrected with an amused tone.

“Whatever you call the poor souls that are on the other end of your patented stare.”

Janine lifted her head to give him that very same stare.

He kept his composure for as long as he could, then his resolve crumbled. “Fine.”

Satisfied, she lay her head down on her pillow, dark hair fanning out behind her.

Simon was grateful that she wasn’t giving him direct eye contact anymore, hoping it would make telling the story easier. Still, he felt an unease creeping into his chest just at the memories.

The words came out hurriedly, “One day, I was posting a weekly progress picture at the gym - like the dickhead that I was - and when I was editing the photo to give myself more of a tan, I noticed a mole on my back. Tiny little thing, almost looked like dirt. I deleted that picture then used a different one instead, not thinking anything of it.”

Janine gave a short hum to prove that she was still listening, but otherwise didn’t interrupt.

“Then, a couple of weeks later, I could actually feel it when I was showering. Took another picture of my back with my handy dandy influencer selfie stick and… there it was. Darker and bigger.”

He felt her stiffen ever so slightly next to him, but ploughed on, knowing that if he didn’t get it all out, then he never would.

“Booked an appointment with the doc, and he immediately sent me to the hospital. As in, the next week. Which is never good. Ran all the tests. Got out a magnifying glass. A camera. Poked and prodded it. Later a CT. Then an MRI.”

He could feel the anxiety that had been present in that situation rising in his chest just from retelling it, desperate to make it leave.

He forced out a chuckle, “I remember thinking ‘hey, at least they don’t need a prostate exam’. Though maybe if they’d done it, you wouldn’t have been the one to make me discover that I like taking it up the arse-”

"Simon-” The word sounded exasperated, chastising and sad, all in one.

“Don’t.” He snapped.

He felt her jump at the sudden sharpness, then sighed, regretting the hostility.

The next words were much softer, “Don’t… say my name like that. Don’t pity me.”

“It’s not pity.”

The two stayed in silence for a while, the only sounds around them being their breathing, the distant ticking of a grandfather clock in the study and the gate's siren sounding outside as someone left for a mission.

Janine was the one to break the tension, words barely above a whisper, “I wish you would have told me sooner.”

He let out a humourless huff, “Why? So you could look at me how you’re looking at me now?” He turned his head to see exactly the expression he expected.

Her face was twisted, almost like she was experiencing physical pain. He reached a hand out to touch her, thumb pressing against the wrinkle that had emerged between her eyebrows, smoothing it out like an iron.

Simon continued, “That’s why I didn’t tell people back then either. If anyone asked why I cut my hair shorter, I’d say that I liked my luscious locks, but they hid my chiselled jawline. Asked why I was losing weight? Trying a new regime. Leaving work in the middle of the day? Booked the tanning bed or a sports massage or had a salacious booty call. Why I didn’t take shirtless pics anymore? Reply with a quip about how they just wanted to see those rock hard abs.”

“You couldn’t be shirtless?”

A chuckle escaped him, the question unexpected, “Hard to believe now, I know.”

The hand on his hip swatted him playfully, even as her voice remained serious, “No, what I mean is, why?”

“Surgery.” He answered, “Told everyone I was going to Ibiza for a crazy week, no one questioned it.”

Janine hummed in thought, “Is that why you have the small incision scar there?”

He laughed again, “Forgot you see my back more often than I do.”

She rolled her eyes, then sobered up again, “No one knew?”

“Told me nan. She said it was all part of God’s plan for me.” He sighed deeply, shaking his head, “As if a loving God like hers would plan for anyone to die painfully in their 20s.”

Janine was silent for a split second before replying. “You deserved better.”

He gave another chuckle, this one mirthless and flat, “No, I didn’t.”

Janine lifted her head and neck from the pillow to look at him.

It took all his might to keep staring at the ceiling instead, too worried of seeing her look upset with him.

Until she placed a hand on his cheek, gently turning his face to hers. “You did. You do.”

Simon swallowed thickly, breathing out steadily, “You can’t just say things like that and expect me not to-” He trailed off.

Janine’s eyes widened slightly, “Not to what?”

Not to love you. The words remained unspoken between them. Yet they both knew, the words circling around the air. They’d been dancing around them for weeks now, but neither had dared use them.

“Not to ravish you!” Simon quickly wrapped his arms around her and turned them both so he was above her, making her emit a surprised squeal that he’d never thought that the serious Janine De Luca would be able to make.

Her eyebrows raised at him, and with a practised move, she quickly turned them back again. Her face hovered above his, wisps of her hair framing her face, “I’d rather think I was the one doing the ravishing.”

“And you won’t let me forget it.” He lifted his head up to press a quick yet hard kiss onto her cheek, making a grin break out onto her face.

“Definitely not.” She agreed, moving down to rest against his chest, hearing his heartbeat thudding in his ear. Steady, and so wonderfully alive.

She opened her mouth, then closed it again, debating the wording of her next question.

Without even looking, Simon could somehow sense that she was thinking, so he waited it out, tracing his hand up and down her spine lazily.

“Did they…” she finally began, “estimate your prognosis?”

Simon let out an undignified snort, “As in how much time I had left before I popped my clogs?”

She swatted his upper thigh, but remained silent so he could answer.

“Well, last check up I had, it was gone, all hunky-dory, but there was always a chance it could come back so I had to have check ups every six months. Then three weeks after that, the world went to shit and it was even harder to get a GP appointment than usual. So…” He shrugged, but only minutely, careful not to jostle her comfortable position.

Janine nodded against him, “So you’re not going to - as you say - pop your clogs any time soon. Are you?”

Simon tried not to focus on how there was an underlying sense of worry in the words. It felt too much like caring. A dependency on him that he didn’t want anyone to have.

“Why? You getting fond of me?” He continued quickly before she could give a response, afraid of what it might be, “Not if I can help it. If it were up to me, I’d never leave.”

Janine turned her head to press a soft kiss to the left side of his chest, then returned to her previous position, settling in further and wrapping a leg around his, trying to get as close as possible.

“Good. I would… rather like that eventuality.”

In the end, he gets what he wants. But not with the person he wants it with.

#zrs3 spoilers #zombies run #janine de luca #simon lauchlan #3de #zrs3 #my fic

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