#living with chronic disease
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Chronic illness be like: now our right knee is hurting
Me: ok. Is this a new accessory or should I get it checked out?
Chronic ilness: I don't know sis, sounds like a you problem tbh...
#spilled thoughts#spilled emotions#spilled ink#chronically ill#chronic illness#chronic pain#chronic fatigue#systemic lupus erythematosus#lupus#lupus warrior#living with lupus#fibro#fibromyalgia#autoimmine disease#autoimmune
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#jokes#psychology#coping mechanism#trauma coping#trauma humor#just cptsd things#living with cptsd#cptsd recovery#ptsd recovery#complex ptsd#ptsd#actually ptsd#coping skills#mental illness#mental health#laughter#spoonie#chronic illness#chronically ill#chronic disease#grounding techniques#grounding
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hey like I know narrative convenience etc but also like. wenjing glows when there's blood on it, yeah?
Li Lianhua carries that sword for a decade. up his...sleeve? I guess?? just. on him, all the time presumably, because it's the last link he has to his shixiong and also because like. defence weapon. and also also sword he needs to keep hidden and probably can't just leave lying around like he does di feisheng's disco boxer armour scraps, because a sword is kinda less easy to explain as 'haha yeah I just found it and decided to keep it for. reasons?' than 'oh my thrifted jianghu scrap of don't get burnt cooking material is actually valuable? weird! anyway want some inedible soup'
Li Lianhua also, presumably, spends a decade coughing up blood on the regular, because of the whole dying slowly and horribly of poison thing. I'd guess he's coughing up blood probably less at the start/middle of the decade, but like, he's visibly used to just horking up an internal organs worth of blood and then continuing on his way as best he can, so. one assumes the blood spitting is not a new thing.
so like. how often over the literal decade he's carrying the sword that glows when exposed to blood and also regularly exposing it to blood is Li lianhua like hurkcoughbleh and then has to be like please ignore my glowing arm, it's....a medical condition that is extremely normal and not worth talking about, that will be five taels take your treatment and please fuck off
#mysterious lotus casebook#waters words#li xiangyi#look i know It's Not That Deep but also i. chronic overthinker.#also yes its basically a very faint blue glow but like.#idk i feel like in a dim room its pretty fucking noticeable.#also ALSO yes i know it has to get blood physically on the blade. but like. how much blood.#like bro spits kind of a lot of it and if you're treating a patient you probably don't want to spit blood ON THEM#so like#coughing ->shitfuck paitent ok turn head->SHITFUCK SWORD ABORT ABORT ->uhhhh yeah i have. glowing. arm. disease?#anyway i assume that wenjing lives in the same pocket dimension that hulijing and the four black horses do when not needed
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As a chronically ill person, I don't trust nor do I like doctors and medical professionals as a whole and if that makes me an unreasonable asshole then so be it.
#a good deal of people in the medical field are scum of the earth#i'd trust my pharmacist over these scrub wearing lab coat toating dickheads anyday#as a chronically ill woman I'm tired if doctors and nurses and actively avois them as much as possible#i can't stand you people#chronically ill#and heaven forbid you criticize doctors nurses or the medical field as a whole you get gaslit to hell#doctors and nurses aren't above criticism#if you have a lifelong medical condition you're treated like dog shit by every doctor#I'm not an idiot I'm not a child#i KNOW my body and I KNOW the reality of living with the disease that i got#like fuck off
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can vamp Tim give Jason a blood transfusion if needed? 🤔
in your vamp/wer verse I mean
Oh, that's an interesting question! In my vampire!Tim/werewolf!Jason verse and the accompanying fic, Tim drinks almost exclusively off of Jason because a) Jason loves it and b) Tim would near-starve himself otherwise :') (and he kind of does anyway, Jason has to bully him into feeding). So the only blood inside Tim at any given moment is usually Jason's original blood anyway. But can Tim give that blood back in an emergency?
tldr: yes, under certain conditions. lol
My reply was getting long because this kind of speculating is my favorite game to play, so if you're curious about what those conditions are and how I reached that conclusion, more details are under the cut:
In this verse, Jason is the kind of werewolf who doesn't have a lot of control/retained personality when he shifts, but he DOES have a lot of meta powers. (As a treat for becoming a mindless, violent monster lol ur welcome Jay)
One of those powers includes rapid healing ala deadpool/wolverine (unless the wound is inflicted by silver, ancestral or otherwise) so it would be remarkably difficult for Jason to reach the point where he even needs a blood transfusion. But let's consider that worst case scenario, in which Jason has suffered enough silver-inflicted wounds that his healing factor breaks and he needs blood, yesterday. Wuh oh.
Tim is the #1 candidate to consider for a Jason blood transfusion because that's his gamer fuel of choice - but for Tim to be a viable donor, it would depend on the length of time it's been since Tim drank from Jason, and how much. They're on a time limit because Tim's body doesn't replenish blood on its own, he has to steal it.
Brace yourself for the suspect use of rough science facts in the middle of supernatural fantasy speculation about vampire/werewolf AUs, lmao
So supposing Jason has about 12 pints/5.7 L of blood in total, he could lose maybe 5 pints/2.4 L of blood at a time without dying (and that's a high estimate, he'd start going into shock way before that lmao), AND it would take him weeks to restore that blood - if he were human.
Luckily for Tim, he can steal quite a bit from Jason without killing him because of the handy dandy werewolf healing factor that restores Jason's blood almost as fast as Tim's dusty ass can absorb it. (Tim's veins @ Jason's blood: 𝔪𝔬𝔦𝔰𝔱𝔲𝔯𝔦𝔷𝔢 𝔪𝔢). Unluckily for Tim (and Jason), Tim has about a zillion hangups over drinking that much all at once. Aw.
A brief google search tells me that in an average human body, red blood cells live about 120 days. For simplicity, we'll say that Tim being a vampire and having weird vampire powers counteracts Jason being a werewolf and his blood having weird werewolf properties - so when Tim is full (and I mean full) of Jason's blood, he's good for somewhere just under that 120 days.
The blood isn't immediately starving in Tim's stupid vampire body because it's strong, sexy werewolf blood; it stays hydrated for a million years and could thrive like a dandelion in a crack in the sidewalk, let alone a perfectly good, albeit abandoned, vascular system. (Jason's blood @ Tim's veins: 𝒾𝓉'𝓈 𝒻𝓇𝑒𝑒 𝓇𝑒𝒶𝓁 𝑒𝓈𝓉𝒶𝓉𝑒)
That being said, Tim starts getting very hungry near the end of that time frame as the blood is used/dies, and that time frame shrinks every time he bleeds (which is often, RIP Tim). But he'd still have a solid month or so of healthy, viable Jason blood pumping through his undead ticker. (unless Tim gets REALLY beat up lol, which is not unlikely OTL)
SO all this to say: can Tim give it back?
I would say yes, IF Tim has fed recently, and he's fed A LOT. Otherwise, he just straight up might not have the blood to give anymore because his stupid husk of a body already used it all.
If he tried to give Jason blood around the time he's getting hungry again, when Jason's blood is on it's last legs after sustaining an active vampire without reinforcements for weeks to months, it wouldn't be as effective as a blood transfusion from someone who can make their own blood and therefore has a fresher supply.
tldr (again lol); Tim could become a blood donor for Jason, but only once he's regularly letting himself drink from Jason, and drinking until he's full.
#this is also how i feel in general about how vampires with magical blood solutions should work#like yeah you don't have to kill anymore because i'll sustain you and neither of us will die because my magic blood is so strong and sexy#but also if i need that back then the stars have to be in position#and you DO still need to take from me with regularity#you DO still need quarterly if not monthly blood donations to live. you are still going to feel like a burden#oh the chronic disease of it all#fjdlasfjs ANYWAY I took a zillion years to answer that question but I love speculating about the how and why so lol ty for the opportunity#i love digging into worldbuilding and what exactly the magical bullshit is capable of solving and defining the rules#jaytim#not!fic#asked and answered#deepwithintheabyss#werewolf jason#vampire tim
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Vaccines save lives. Get vaccinated to protect those in our community who cannot access or safely receive vaccines.
Maintain practices such as wearing a mask when sick. Never shame another person for wearing a mask because covid is “over”
Sick leave should not be a privilege, it is a right. For the welfare of yourself and others you should not have to work sick.
For you it might be a common cold, but for someone like me and many of my dear friends it will take weeks and weeks to recover.
Do not forget the horrors of the pandemic. Do not forget those stuck in their homes due to risk of infection.
#vaccines#disabled#disability#chronic illness#chronically ill#autoimmine disease#multiple sclerosis#disability rights#covid#covid safety#important#anti vaxxers#living with a disability
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Arlecchino's whole deal is unbelievable
Arlecchino: Huh I wonder what's causing my weird powers? I can't really worry about that right now tho, I've gotta become King and then kill my "Mother".
*Kills Clervie and "Mother"*
Arlecchino: Huh I wonder why I was able to defeat a Fatui Harbinger when I'm like 17 or so? I can't really worry about that right now tho, I've gotta be in jail and become a Harbinger.
*Is in jail for a while and becomes a Harbinger*
Arlecchino: Huh I wonder why I am-
Pierro: Hey what's up hello, anyways you're descended from the Crimson Moon Dynasty of Khaenri'ah. I'm sure that this is a lot for you to take in so-
Arlecchino: Ok.
Pierro: ...You're just cool with that?
Arlecchino: IDK maybe? I can't really worry about that at the moment, I'm a father now. This orphanage full of children I love (who also are child soldiers and are not allowed to leave or else I'll execute them except maybe now I'm just gonna wipe their memories IDK I'm morally complex) isn't gonna run itself.
*Runs the orphanage/spy recruitment initiative*
Me, the fucking player: WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU ARE KHAENRI'AN? WHY WASN'T THIS BROUGHT UP IN YOUR FUCKING QUEST?? OR ANYTHING ELSE????
Arlecchino, talking to me through my phone: I honestly don't know why you care, I'm too busy to give a shit. Anyways, I'm gonna go fight fate itself I guess. I'm sure that I don't share any thematic parallels with any other Khaenri'an characters (particularly as it relates to acting and family angst) and that I haven't made the idea of 'curses' on Khaenri'ans and what they entail even more complicated than they already were. See ya.
#arlecchino#genshin impact#pierro#WHY IS THE GAME FUCKING GLOSSING OVER THE FACT THAT SHE IS KHAENRI'AN?!#Not only that but she is the first Khaenri'an we've met (that we know of) who's from the Crimson Moon Dynasty#I'm so fucking confused#Did Celestia place a DIFFERENT curse on members of the Crimson Moon Dynasty?? Or is this stuff all of them can do???#HELP#She also seems almost...uninterested in the fact that she's descended from Khaenri'ah. Which honestly I think is interesting.#I don't know if I like it yet but when every other Khaenri'ah character has one of their major traits being that they super fucking#care that they are Khaenri'an (whether that be Kaeya with his paranoia/destiny/duty or Dain with his guilt over his failure/desire to#prevent our sibling from fucking with anything too much or whatever the fuck is going on with Pierro)#having a character who is Khaenri'an but doesn't seem to particularly be invested in that part of themself is different#she cares more about the curse and its effects on her then she ever really cares about the Crimson Moon Dynasty or the cataclysm#IDK I think it's neat from a character writing angle. or at least it has the potential to be if the writers do a good job.#But from a 'I like maybe 3 things in this game and one of them is Khaenri'ah' perspective it SUCKSSSSS#That part of the plot is already suffering from chronic live-service storytelling disease where people just straight up don't tell you#shit that they logically SHOULD BE TELLING YOU because the game needs to save plot points to build hype around#so for one of like 4-ish (depending on how much we count Albedo) Khaenri'an major characters to give us literally 1 and 1/2 voicelines#kinda sucks ngl. but again it's also interesting and realistic for Arlecchino and from that angle I like it#she doesn't care about what fate says her place in the world is. she's gonna carve her own and being Khaenri'an isn't relevant to#the life and identity she has built for herself. she isn't the type to look for answers she doesn't need. she's practical and efficient.#at the very least it's better than when Albedo 'I want to find all the world's truths' Kreideprinz doesn't let the audience in on his stuff
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Today is the day that my mind and soul realized we walked with death side by side. There is no lure, no want or desire. Just a comfort in knowing that they are there. A solace in the companionship.
#chronic illness#chronically ill#chronic pain#chronic fatigue#disability#chronicillness#chronic disease#lonley#alone with my thoughts#feeling alone#lost#disabled life#actually disabled#disabilties#ptsd#cpstd#living with cptsd#cptsd problems#cptsd recovery
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there are a lot of worthwhile things to do in the world there are a lot of things there are a lot of other things
#symptomatic of being a martyr girl child who thought she wouldn’t live this long for some reason#and then finally being like I’m living! guess I gotta come up with hopes and dreams and things to do and pray for God to give me dreams he#wants! and then finally starting to get some but alas#i probably have Diseases that make it impossible 😞#but as you wish lord. as you wish#edit: this is an oh I probably have a chronic illness that makes me ineligible for the thing I was really excited about possibly doing that#seemed a God given balance to all my peculiarities#not a I’m dying post! sorry!!!
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hi its me
whats your favourite fictional character (other than wet cat posh boy card.) ?
hii! i actually had to think about this for a bit lmfao and i dont think i have Favourite characters besides Rouxls,.,,, there are a lot of characters i enjoy but after pondering this for more than a minute - i dont think i'd call any of them my Favourites. none of them truly haunt my brain they way he does
but i guess next best favourite fictional thing would be zergs,.,,, as in the fictional race of insectoid aliens, not one specific character, theyve been my permanent interest since childhood and i like every single one of the units. have a doodle of Rouxls holding a murder ouppy :]
#deltarune#rouxls kaard#liked characters are either “that pretty cool” appreciation or short lived hyperfixation not Favourite favourite if you get what i mean#im a hyperfixating bug who jumps from thing to thing and plays with permanent stuff in between fixations#but yeah. insectoid aliens are permanently on my mind. and so is rouxls. not much space left for others there unless theyre just visiting#sorry for a ramble lmaoooo i got the yapper disease. its chronic
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me: tells a friend about my chronic pain to explain why i don’t do something
them: “oh? so how often a day do you take painkillers?”
me: “a day??”
#i try to take them as little as possible bc my mum instilled a fear in me of taking them too much while growing up…#but the assumption that i take them daily?? and multiple times at that?? threw me off#sir (gn) i have lived with this pretty much my whole life what do you mean#chronic disability#chronic illness#chronically ill#chronicpain#chronic disease#disabled#chronic fatigue#chronic pain#disability#disabilties
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If you are chronically ill, a woman, or a member of the lgbtqia+ community you are safe here! ❤️💛💙💚🩵 Welcome to my page!!! 🥄
#spoonie#chronic illness#chronically ill#chronic disease#psychology#women are great#woman#trans women#women's health#disability#disabled life#disabled community#mental illness#spoonies#spoonie strong#spoonie support#spoonie stuff#spoonie shit#lgbtq community#lgbt pride#lgbtq#lgbtqia#lgb alliance#trans lives matter
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she was the silliest billy 🥹
#dogs#pets#animals#rip babygirl i love you so so so so much you were better than all of us#jojo#we had to remove all her front teeth not long after we got her bc they were rotted so i have a ton of pics of her sticking her tongue out#she had a sense of humor too btw she was so playful#she was abused in the past so it took her about a full year to trust us but once she did she was so so so loyal and loving#goddd i wanna die i cant believe im like. looking at pictures from two weeks ago where she was running and playful#and in the past week she just. gave up. she just stopped eating and stopped being able to even stand on her own#i had to hold her while she used the bathroom cause she kept losing her balance :(#sorry if this is too gross and upsetting i just. feel like i need to reach out. to anyone#like she was diagnosed with chronic kidney disease with no real chance of recovery several months ago so i should have like#prepared myself. but idk i guess i just had blinders on lol. the vet said his dog lived with it for 4 years before dying#idk. i guess i just thought she could survive longer#pet death#mia.txt#mia.jpg
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I am in so much pain all of the time I just wish I could have one second of pure relief
#◞ angel's musings ᛝ ࣪ ◟#chronic illness vent#im not sad or angry#just exhuasted#chronic illness#chronically ill#chronic pain#fibromyalgia#chronic disease#jirai danshi#jirai kei#jiraiblogging#jiraiblr#jirai blogging#landmineblr#lifestyle landmine#reasons why i rot!#mental illness (wahh too hard to move)#chornic illness (wahh to painful to move)#if i wasnt mentally ill id still be chronically ill and id stull struggle to live eugh#Okay this is probabky awful yo say#but i fucking get why some people get addicted to painkillers#if i had access?? dude.#id be so done for
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Anyone else just trying to get all their little morning tasks done so they can have the afternoon free to suffer The Horrors but your heart is pounding the whole time like a tiger is presently in the room trying to swallow you whole or is that just me 🙃
#interview with the vampire#congrats to the writers of amc’s iwtv for making me care this much if nothing else lmao#the DREAD is real and immense my friends#anyway i'm finding twitter fandom to be weirdly stressful and overwhelming so i'm gonna keep most of my posts here today#so apologies in advance for my chronic case of can't shut up disease#pls blacklist 'interview with the vampire spoilers' if you don't want to see me live blogging my mental breakdown lmao
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six years ago
i thought i was as deep as depth could go
i was an absent high school student
and a constant at the hospital
whoever said being a teenage girl was the worst
had obviously never been sick too
my life in ruins
my body eating itself alive
i was scratching at the walls of reality
trying to get a grip
and everyone just watched
with sad, accusatory eyes
my face shaded grey
and you could tell i had given up
they didn’t believe me until it was too late
and they were disappointed
when my body came home
and i didn’t come with it
last year
i got sick for the first time as an adult
the doctor told me she was sorry
said i didn’t deserve this
broken and bruised
i hit the bottom so hard, it hit back
it started with the convulsions
my spine crumbling underneath the pressure
suddenly comes the blisters and oozing
and my skin erupts into flames
i am not afraid of hell anymore
my legs sitting stagnant
as i scream for them to just move
my blood weeping too
my mother cries at my bedside
and the nurses comfort her
my father pretends it isn’t real
the vessel is leaking
is calcifying within the wrinkles of my brain
this vessel is sinking
and i fear there is no escape for me
#female writers#writers on tumblr#poets on tumblr#poetry#writeblr#writers and poets#writerscommunity#my writing#out of my collection#chronic illness#chronically ill#spoonie#chronic pain#type one diabetic#gastroparesis#epilepsy#avm#fnd#brain disease#mental torture#mental health#medical trauma#tw trauma#i want to live#i hate my brain
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