#like her character arc is in some way’s just as quiet as she can be

[aheathen-conceivably]

Is this an Antoine aging gracefully post or a sim style evolution appreciation moment? Both? Both is good 😌

[lizbetlovesbyler]

my biggest personal byler proof is just how much they remind me of my first queer relationship before we started dating

queer characters are incredibly easy to fuck over, even without intention. often spelled out or intensely sexualised to prevent misunderstandings for a mostly heterosexual audience, queer storylines are exaggerated and thus become unrealistic.

stranger things doesn’t do that with its queer characters. take robin:

this scene is done beautifully. genuinely beautifully.

robin admits her feelings for tammy and how she locked them away, not just because tammy didn’t like her back, but because she is a queer girl in the 80s. her feelings are unnatural and unwelcome in hawkins.

steve’s acceptance of robin in this scene makes people forget how horrifically this could have ended:

As for Mike and Will

you don’t write a perfect representation of mutual teenage queer pining between childhood friends by accident.

queer pining is quiet and suppressed (especially for young people and ESPECIALLY in the 80s). It is unhealthy to suppress these feelings the way queer people tend to, it’s beyond the typical “secret crushes” straight people experience. queer pining can destroy people when they’re not supported.

through robins character, and wills arc in season four, we can see clearly the duffer brothers understand the nature of queer love, and wish to do it justice.

will ending up with some random last minute jock is unrealistic and does not do his character justice.

mike staying in an insecure relationship, constantly worried his girlfriend will grow out of him and leave him, rather than accepting will’s unconditional love for him, accepting his own love for will and letting himself be who he is, does not do his character justice.

even so, if they tried to set up byler in a way that would come across clear to the GA, it would, by default, become unrealistic and unrepresentative.

neither are yet able to admit to close friends and family they are queer, but they are supposed to convey that part of themselves to an (understandably) dense/heteronormative mainstream audience?

queer teenage love is not the same as straight teenage love, it doesn’t shock me that the majority of the audience isn’t able to pick up on byler beyond wills feelings, and they’re not supposed to.

we all say what we see, they don’t see the queer love brewing because they’ve never experienced it, they’ve never been mike and they’ve never been will. they’ve been max and lucas and nancy, steve, jonathan, etc etc

doesn’t make their heteronormative perspective accurate, they are just straight. they understand will and mike the same they do lucas and dustin. mike says they are friends, they have no reason to think otherwise. they do not know what queer love actually looks like, the duffer brothers do. the actors do. we do.

you are not delusional. you are queer.

if byler was widely agreed upon at this point in the story, it would not be an accurate representation of queer romance. that is the point.

my moneys on the latter and they better get every award for it.

[kujiba]

★MAY THE LAND CONCEAL YOU, DEAR GRACE

PART ONE/ PART TWO / PART FOUR / PART FIVE

୨୧ — ꒰ gn!reader | they/them prounouns | Sagau | cultish behavior

୨୧ — ꒰ a/n: yay! We're finally getting into the very first arc. I might start a new series but eh, who knows. Anyway enjoy reading

୨୧ — ꒰[Tags] @resident-cryptid

YOUR EYES COULDN'T BELIEVE IT - delicate and soft footsteps walked in the cobble flooring of the prestige city; (e/c) eyes glimmer around the stalls and towering buildings. Mondstadt definitely lives up to its titled name as the land of freedom, for every step you take, every second that passes by is surely not a quiet one infact.

One of your destined dreams turning into real life felt like bliss - you couldn't help but feel ecstatic on what the future lies ahead for you in the unordinary situation you find yourself in.

Yet.. Even for such a joyful moment, why do you feel entrapped and suffocated? You could feel eyes digging deep onto your back as it only doubled to your discomfort. You weren't supposed to feel like this, you're living your dream yet what is with this abnormal reaction? Paranoid with yourself, you quickly fled to a nearby alleyway to arrange your thoughts.

In there, you took control of your breathing, the surroundings around you begun to turn disoriented. You shook your head in disagreement "No...I must just be having a headache from the crowds" you mumbled to yourself, rubbing the sides of your head - you then continued your way in the city of Mondstadt after having calmed your thoughts and body down.

╔══ ❀•°❀°•❀ ══╗

Later on, you found yourself sitting down on one of the chairs in a food hub called "Good Hunter". You were well aware of what this place is - infact, you felt like you've done this thousands of times even if you just played through a screen.

You didn't quite expect that feeling of yours earlier, expectations didn't reach what you had thought would lead to. You were supposed to be happily strolling around mondstadt - so why are you just sitting here rearranging your thoughts again? "Agh...I'll just sit here for a bit, yeah that's alright.." Mumbling those words to yourself, you took a deep breath to calm your body down.

Eventually after about 10 minutes of sitting, you heard a small grumble from your stomach. 'Ah right, Im starving..' you suppress to yourself; sure you ate some (alot) sunsettia's earlier but that didn't seem to satisfy your stomach. Fortunately for you, the place you were resting at was a food hub!. Standing up from your seat, you made your way up to the counter to order some cuisine for that grumbling tummy of yours.

"Welcome To Good Hunter. Can I take your order?" A brunette lady with a neatly tied up ponytail on the other side of the counter question's. Her eye's lingered on the out line's of your body, taking in every detail and curve. "Uh....can I have uh.." Your voice trailed off, thinking of something to order from the menu. Until, you remembered one thing you'd always cook for your character's in game. "May I have one Sweet Madame please?" You asked, giving her a small smile.

The woman was dazed for a moment after you gave her a smile, seemingly gawking into your (e/c) pupils. It took a while till you cleared your throat "Ahem.. Is everything alright?" You questioned her, still keeping your smile but had a hint of concern.

"Oh! Uhm yes, one Sweet Madame. Please sit while I prepare your food" She hastily replied, quickly turning around she returned back to the counter furthermore fumbling around with some seasonings and kitchen knives.

You sat back down on your chair briefly leaning back on it whilst patiently awaiting for your food to arrive, your mouth just watered at the thought of eating it. And boy are you excited! Tasting many wonderful foods from your favorite games is just wonderful! A dream you wish to never leave this place...Until a realization hitted you like a truck.

You have no money here. Absolutely 0

A previous dream turned into a Nightmare; patting your pockets repeatedly you began to panic internally, you can't just take the food and dip! Well you actually can, but you definitely can't handle the consequences of it! No way you're going to already have a horrible situation just after you stepped inside the city.

So how the hell are you gonna pay without any mora!? The gods or whoever brought you here CLEARLY didn't gift you with any starter materials. You cursed In your head, thinking of ways to legally get out of the situation you were in. "Shit what do I do?! I can't just go 'oh I don't have any money because I'm from a different world and got transferred here. Heck no!" Your eyes scanned the surrounding area, looking for an idea or way to not make the situation any more complicated.

╔══ ❀•°❀°•❀ ══╗

A Honey-roasted fowl sat on your wooden table. The honey and sweet flowers come together to compliment the tender fowl meat. It's aroma as delicate and delicious as it looks. As of in the game it can restore 22% of Max HP and an additional 1,200 HP to the selected character.

A brunette maid stood by your side, a bill on her hands. Her expression looked rather concerned about you "Uhm.. Are you alright?" She asked examining your face. All that showed on you was defeat, like you've just got jumped by the opps.

"Well.. Aha.. So it might seem crazy what i'm gonna say.." You nervously chuckled, not making eye contact with the brunette and only facing the ground. Your eyes failed to notice another brunette woman walking to your table, her appearance seems similar to somebody you've previously met just moments ago..

"Heya! Mind if I sit down with you?" She politely asked, soon noticing the maid next to you she smiled slowly "I got it cover boss, I'll have one Sweet Madame too please." the brunette then took some mora from her pocket and gave it to the server, pleased by the girls payment she returned back to her stall to make another sweet madame.

Silence crept around both of you; you of course knew who she was but was to afraid to strike up a conversation. "Oh damn... What should I do?.." you pondered, avoiding any necessary eye contact with the brunnete. For her, she seemed to be doing the exact opposite of you. Her hazel pupils gazed upon parts of your physique; She seemed to be admiring your frame which made it furthermore awkward.

Clearing your throat, the brunette immediately got back into reality and looked back at you with her eyes. You gave her a small smile "Uhm well, Thank you for paying for me miss.." "AMBER." She replied back, a bit delighted to tell you her name "It's really nothing. You seem to be passing by?" she question's, you answer by giving her a nod.

"Why yes, Mondstat is one of my dream places to visit" You weren't technically lying to her, outside the screen. You did want to try and live in mondstat, just imagining it felt like paradise for you.

Amber seemed ecstatic when you mentioned how mondstadt is your dream places to visit "Why don't I give you a tour later then (Name)?" She offered to you, you were mentally so happy she offered it to you. So without hesitating you answered in a heart beat "Of course!"

Wait. Did you ever give her your name? You probably did. You just forgot

╔══ ❀•°❀°•❀ ══╗

The world happiness couldn't even describe what you were feeling right now, by your side was THE Outrider Amber of genshin impact showing you around the city. The buildings were alot taller than you had thought, but the best part was being able to see the statue of Barbatos! You felt like you were going to pass out on how unreal it felt!

But alas the tour was coming to an end. Fortunately, Amber had suggested for you to go visit the KNIGHTS OF FAVONIUS; An order responsible for protecting Mondstadt and its belief of freedom. You were of course, very cheerful by her offer! So here were the two of you. Standing in the doors of the KNIGHTS OF FAVONIUS.

"Woah.. Is it really okay for a normal person like me inside here?" you questioned her, eyes gazing at the gigantic bronze door infront of you. Amber opened her mouth to giggle "Why of course! Everyone is welcome here. Come, I'll show you inside! " Quickly opening the two doors, the inside of the building was even finer than what you've had imagined.

Polished tiles surrounded the flooring, complimenting the small plants placed upon the sides of the doors for a more appealing and modern look. Trained knights standing firm and straight with a neutral expression on their face. Still, you could vaguely see them attempting to try and catch a glimpse of you, occasionally turning their eyes to take a better view of your appearance. You did not mind one bit, since you've understood that they just might be analyzing you if you are a possible threat.

"Come! I'll show you inside one of the rooms!" Amber ushered, taking your wrist gently with one of her hands and leading you to a door. Thrusting the doors open, the surrounding room were packed with layers and layers of books, seemingly to be endless opportunities of knowledge and experience.

As you began to look over the room, your (e/c) eyes laid upon a fairly tall woman with lime green eyes and long light brown tied in a side ponytail by a hair tie with a blue rose. Her outfit is largely many shades of purple. Just by the sight of her you could tell who she was already; LISA is a librarian who works in this library, and one of the few characters you achieve for free for unlocking more experience and leveling up in the game.

Her forest green eyes gazed around the room and stopped when she had spotted you, her expression seemed to be of slight suprise but nonetheless, she composed herself and began walking up to the two with her signature smile

"Why hello there cuties, what brings you here?" She question's, stopping in her tracks following with crossing her arms around her lower chest

Amber smiled gleefully, still taking a hold of your wrist with her hand and replying to Lisa "They're a passing traveler who wanted to adventure into the city! I offered to give them a tour and they gladly accepted!" Her answer holds alot of excitement and happiness.. So much so that she's gripping onto your wrist very tightly.

You soon grew uncomfortable by her grip on your wrist, but didn't want to ruin the two women's mood and vibe, so you kept it to yourself for now. It must be because she's exceedingly happy right?

Lisa lightly laughed at the brunettes excitement "Now, now.." She took hold of Amber's hand that was holding onto your wrist and pulled it apart, her eyes not breaking eye contact with Amber "Why don't you calm yourself down, Amber?" She says giving a closed eyed smile. Amber immediately realized her actions and turned to you "...Sorry, haha. I guess i let my emotions get the better of me, I promise you I won't let it happen again" Her previous dissapointed expression shifted to one that looked more relaxed.

"Oh! Right, you must not know her right?" Amber pointed her thumb to Lisa who was standing infront of the two, her smile still plastered on her face, she cleared out her throat "Don't worry, I'll introduce myself to this cutie..my name is Lisa Minci, the librarian of the knights of favonius, I hope we get along very well." her smile was off putting at first but you brushed it off.

"Nice to meet you Ms. Lisa! My name is (Name), I'll be very happy with my time in mondstat" You extended your hand to give Lisa a handshake, to your suprise Lisa without hesitating also took your hand for a handshake. Her eyes focused on the base of your hand whilst Amber stared at you two.

You laughed awkwardly. you and Lisa shaked hands a few times before parting ways for now, you felt an ominous aura behind you once you turned your back to leave the library. You for sure wasn't going back in there for a bit.

As the two of you walked in the halls of the Knights of favonius guild, Amber stopped infront of a door. "How about we go ahead and meet the grandmaster, Jean?" She said still having a gleeful energy. You nodded, seeing no harm in meeting her. The plot won't magically change right? In here your just an NPC and the main side characters always interact with NPC's and go on with their day. Nothing can go wrong, right?.

Amber opened the doors, a small creeking sound as it slowly began to open up. Inside the room where stacked with shelves of books, in there, the back center of the room had a women in blonde dressed formal sitting down on a chair with a fairly sized table. The table had stacks and stacks of papers seemingly to be endless.

Only when amber cleared her throat did the blonde notice the two people standing near the door, she quickly composed herself and looked directly at amber, you've noticed how the blonde has not even noticed you in the room yet (you're standing right besides amber wtf).

"Good morning to you, Amber. What brings you here?" The blonde woman asked, sitting upright on her chair while awaiting the brunettes answer "Good to see you, Acting Grandmaster JEAN!" Amber replied casually, "Meet (Name)!, they' were just passing by. We sure do get loads of visitors after the Traveler(AETHER) had left to go to Liyue huh?" The brunette smiled brightly, her hand infront of you faced flat.

Jean, if not for amber she would have never even noticed your presence in the room. You on the other hand had something else in mind, 'I wonder which traveler is the one they're talking about... I'm fine with either one of the twins'

You collectively thought to yourself, a smile on your face as you could barely wait! Just meeting the MC makes your stomach get butterflies. Jean seemed to be staring at you for quite a bit, but you had not noticed once since you were daydreaming in your head.

Jean cleared her throat which made you immediately snap back to reality, raising your head slightly you made eye contact with her ocean blue pupils, she didn't look like she was going to take her eyes off you anytime soon...

".. (Name), was it?" Jean asked, leaning on her desk. Without hesitating you nodded your head "Yes, that's me.. Is there anything you want to ask?" You asked her in an awkward tone, the vibe in the room had shifted significantly. You didn't like it one bit.

She locked her eyes onto yours and smiled "No... But let me ask you one thing" The blonde stood up from her seat and slowly walked in front of her table "Where did you come from exactly?" She asked, crossing her arms on her chest. Amber also was curious to know, her hazel eyes looking at you with curiosity.. But to you, it felt like two predators were piercing their eyes onto your every limb, you felt awkward, confused, and most off all. ANXIOUS

Just one word, one word that's even remotely suspicious and it's game over for you. But why did you feel panicked and anxious? The Traveler was also a other worlder, the characters stared at him/her with adoration and kindness. Why is it the opposite for you?

A feeling wrecked your inner self, INSTINCT. Instinct told you the moment you accidentally reveal your situation is the moment your doom will begin to tower over your shadow, devouring you whole for the mistake you had made. And only then, will you escape from the pain you've brought upon yourself.

"I.. I came from.." You were lost for words, you could just tell them you lived in liyue, sumeru, Fontaine or any other region in Teyvat. So why do they stare at you with such hostile and loathing looks? You gulped down your saliva and clutched your other wrist with your hand "I traveled here from liyue.. I like to visit other regions and find more of their culture and traditions"

Your voice sounded awkward, but it was the only words you could spew out in the moment. You could still feel their gaze observing your every move and twitch, they never took their eyes off you for a long while.

As silence filled the room, Jean and Amber looked at each other for a couples of seconds and nodded, Jeans gaze on you began to soften up "I see, well then. I welcome you to mondstadt, we will be more than happy to have you here" Jean casually said having her hand on her hip as amber gleefully clapped her hands.

"Welcome To mondstadt! I'll be sure to show you only the best." Amber talked to you with such excitement and happiness. You couldn't process what was happening, since the mood had shifted to normal again. You were only relieved to have your body and mind at peace again....

! ! !

INSTINCT is an inborn impulse or motivation to action typically performed in response to specific external stimulus, ADRENALINE is a hormone secreted by the adrenal glands, especially in conditions of stress, increasing rates of blood circulation, breathing, and carbohydrate metabolism and preparing muscles for exertion.

Two things a human body does when faced with a threat around their surroundings, the human body will begin to feel such things. You felt your body beginning to rush as your heart beat began to slowly get faster, something was definitely behind you.

You turned your head quickly, but only saw a pair of black gloves reaching out to grab your face, and before you know it, you were out on the floor. Your vision began to darken at a fast pace, as all you could only do is lay motionless on the cherry colored carpet.

Two silhouettes towered over you whilst you were on the ground, holding your arms and legs, they began to drag your body on the hard ground.

☆☆☆

(e/c) eyes slowly began fluttering open, your pupils beginning to open once again. "Ugh... Where am I.." you groaned. Your head was throbbing like crazy, giving you migraines that just added more into the pain. Your hand trailed up to the sides of your head and began to slowly massage it to ease up the aching.

After some seconds, you had fully composed your body. The room you were in was more darker and you could barely even tell what was in your surrounding areas, only feeling the cold flooring from below you.

You attempt to try and recall what had happened but it only furthered increase the aching. You could only sigh to yourself and lean your body back on the wall, in the room you were stuck in 'So this is how I'll be spending my time. Stuck in a dark and cold room, great. ' you thought to yourself, hugging your knees closer to your chest and body to be able to create warmth.

"Just my luck.. When things were just going great another misfortune happened" talking to yourself was the only thing keeping you entertained for now, as you begin to spiral deeper into your thoughts you started to wonder, Why did I get transported here?

In your life at earth you didn't make any shocking changes to the world like making cures or any of that. You were just some person who liked to play games...

Wait

Surely enough the gods or whoever transmitted you here would be benevolent enough to gift you some kind of system or powers right? If this was not just a coincidence you might as well treat your situation like a manwha.

Clearing your throat you quietly mumbled 'System'.....And to no suprise nothing worked. "Uhh... Abrakadabra? Arise? Info?" you tried words that could possibly trigger that non existing system that you are hanging on for dear life. Maybe because of the silence around you that makes you start to go delusional and crazy.

Countless tries yet none were working (Obviously) "Man.. I knew I should've eaten more food, I'm starting to go crazy at this point.. Seriously miss the noise around. It just seems like something had turned off the sound in settings"

You groggily lowered your head down accompanying with silent murmurs coming from your mouth. Unbeknownst to you, a glowing blue screen began appearing infront of you, as you began to lift your head your (e/c) eyes began to shrink from shock as a text was plastered right in front of you.

CHOOSE AN ELEMENT! : PYRO, CRYO, DENDRO, ELECTRO, HYDRO, GEO, ANEMO

"WAIT WHAT!?"

A/n: very sorry for the delay and how late the chapter is. Advance apologies if the chapter did not meet your expectations. School is a pain and taking most of my time.

Nonetheless Hope you enjoyed, please let me know if you want to get tagged in the next chapters.

[seirindono]

TMS - Author's note (Arc 1)

Today I'm stepping up to talk about TMS for a while. It's going to be a lot of blah blah, no TLDR, so hang in there or save it for later if you're brave enough, haha (¯▿¯)

So, another chapter of TMS draws to a close, with the difference that this time it's a whole saga that's coming to an end! That's a big relief for me, given that we recently celebrated the comic's 4th anniversary! That's almost the entire duration of my college life, and that's both an impressive and terrifying achievement lol.

The comic is divided into 3 arcs, each separated by an interlude. The first runs from part 1 to 8, with 201 pages total (wow!). In it, you are introduced to Mel, a young skeleton with a rather unclear past, who accidentally arrives in a a foreign timeline, along with other well known skeletons. Nowadays it's just an isekai haha. Throughout the arc, she proves to be a cautious Monster, quiet and somewhat withdrawn compared to the other skeletons we come across, notably Rus, Blue and Axe, who each got their own sequences.

Still, Mel in the last few scenes is starting to show more initiative, and the interlude will make this even more obvious, but we can expect her to open up a lot more during the next Arc, about her past, motives, goals and thoughts.

I could go on at length about what's in store for us in the interlude, but given that it's due for release sometime in 2024, I'm going to talk about the general story line instead. Although we follow Mel who is foreign to what's going on in this universe prior to her arrival, the other characters and events suggest that strange phenomena are taking place in Ebott, leading many people to become embroiled in a highly unusual affair. Crossing timelines, earthquakes, mysterious apparitions in the forest, something is afoot and the situation seems to be at a turning point when Mellow gets here.

Everyone has their own way of dealing with the situation and what to do next. Some are serious and pragmatic, like Black, others optimistic, like Blue, and others, like Papyrus, find themselves completely backed into a corner, forced to do their best to fix whatever needs to be.

A special case, however, is Axe, whom Mel meets in the forest as she investigates Mt. Ebott. The two have diametrically opposed views of their current condition. One wants to return to her world by any means necessary, regardless of the advantages of a peaceful world. The other, not so much. Both refuse to talk about their past and ignore the other's circumstances, but a sense of familiarity drives them to try to convince the other to stay or go. These are two stark positions to reconcile, and while we can expect Blue and the other skeletons to have their own views on the subject too, Mel and Axe are strangely "committed" in this interraction and resort to violence, spurred on by a unknown substance that causes Axe to momentarily lose control.

Mel is wounded, Axe unconscious, and the status quo disrupted. Other consequences follow this confrontation, and several questions are raised: Can Blue really help Mel when Axe accuses him of having already given up on going home himself? What is this mysterious entity Axe came across a few days earlier? The vibrations? What was that substance that made him go berserk? And what made him stop? Can we trust Mel and what she tells us? And many others.

Because as I'm sure many of you have come to realize, Mel has proven to be a rather unreliable narrator (or at least character since you don't follow her actual POV). Blatantly lying or omitting facts to others and readers alike, it's hard to know her next move and whether she's genuinely forgotten important infos (for it's well established at this stage that she has hazy memories and that they continue to deteriorate. The same applies to her health).

In the same way, each part of TMS so far has raised more questions than it has answered, but I can confidently say that the road is paved for Arc 2 to answer and put in perspective most of them, ahah.

Ah, this is also the moment when I can announce that ALL skeletons will be featured in the Interlude. Should be. Hopefully.

I'd also like to point out a few narrative changes for Act 2! The central characters, in particular. Original cast characters such as Undyne, Metatton and a veiled character will be more formally introduced, but we'll also meet up with characters we've already bumped into, but in a much more concrete way, such as Frisk and Alphys. I can't wait for you to get to know them! You can also expect more pov changes, more elipses and so on. Things are moving fast.

But that begs the question. When is it due? As said before, the first Arc lasted 4 years and I'm entering my last (and most crucial) year of college. I still don't know if I'll have time to get much of it done in 2025, but on the other hand, I'd like to strike while the iron's hot lest TMS be discontinued after a 1-year hiatus and my entry into the working world. Student loan, life and all. There are still plenty of things I'd like to bring to this project, and I now have the skills to actually carry them out, but on the other hand, the time involved has also increased exponentially.

Tbh with you, as an animation student, it's been one of my dreams since 2020 to do one of TMS's sequences in animatic or full anim, or even a trailer for the comic! But as a solo team, it's just unreasonable and I know it. But the parasite ----. Don't get me wrong, I could, but it would take me months and it's just not realistic when 80% of my time has to go into professionnal work that goes into my portefolio or adult stuff. I can't affort to invest time in solo-ing it or to recruit and lead a team over one side project of mine ( ´ ▿ ` ) So we'll most likely stick to classic pages.

But the same goes for collabs, community events, side stories, asks, edits, dubs, testing other platforms, regular animatics. Love all of that. Really. But I never have the time to because, man, I'd love to actually finish TMS someday ahah. It all comes back to the age-old problem of “lots of ideas, little time”, and it's so frustrating but, it's a choice I have to stick to, so bear with me as I vent my frustration. Just for tonight (´ ∀ `, *)

So, yes. Act 2. Next year? Probably? It's a long interlude, so you'll get smth in the meantime, but it's likely to decide the future of TMS and whether Act 2 sees the light of day as I imagine it or if...well, something else replaces it.

bringing back this doodle cuz it seems fiting lol

Anyway, I also wanted to thank you for your engagement with Part 8!

I don't know how other comic artists experience it, but for me it's a very isolated work, and as much as I love working alone, I enjoy the interaction with readers most of all.

Seeing people losing their mind over a serious scene, or chuckling at a dumb gag, or just simping over the characters and art. It's just great, and very rewarding. Likewise, I have a blast answering questions about the TMS universe, reading tags and receiving memes, witnessing people go increasingly mad with messages full of indecipherable screams and hearts. Makes me giggle and kick my feet everytime and I can't wait to drop the next lore bomb or funny scene bwahahah

And while we're on the subject, I'd like to say a special word of thanks to the legions of rebloggers who make it their business to spread the word about TMS. You sweet, lovely, candy scented folks. And to my dear mutuals - with whom I interact objectively so little - who have no idea how a single message or note from them drives me bonkers. Thanks for dropping by. And of course to my super Patreons who support me despite the sparse updates, but to whom I'm more than grateful. Love you all.

Sounds like a farewell message. It's not lol. Just making sure they get the love they deserve.

The post is getting long and I'm kind of done pretending I know how to write organized notes so to wrap things up, here's an exhaustive list of what I'd like to get done this year and/or discuss in more detail another day. •Make a new masterpost (for Act 2) •Analyze/Comment certain sequences from Act 1 to clarify or give context •Redraw and rewrite part 1 and 2 •Make more bonus content again *ahahahahahaha*

•Re open or close the Discord (partially abandoned and it's all on me, but I'm still mulling it over).

•Finish the Interlude and enjoy and nice hiatus

And that's about it? Congratulation for reading this and making it this far! You were there!

Be well, and see you next time.

Seirin-

First part | Prev | Next (INTERLUDE)

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[pepperf]

What I think Steve Blackman and everyone who bleats on about how 'Five and Lila have SO MUCH in common!!!' have missed is that...this is an ensemble show. None of these characters can or should exist in a vacuum, or locked off in binary pairs. They need the wider community, or they stagnate. And yes, Five and Lila have some past history and traits in common (thanks for ruining that relationship as well, Steve!), but no more than they do with the others, their bond isn't unique. Their experiences with the Commission and the Handler were vastly different, as are their attitudes towards kiling - Five sees it as just a job, nothing personal, he found a way to rationalise it away, whereas to Lila it's always personal. Five tells both Lila and Diego in the same ep that they're not cut out for the Commission (although frankly I'm not sold on him being quite as all-knowing about it as he claims).

The show has always been about the siblings coming back together, and Lila got integrated into that bond more than any of the other partners, partly as a result of her being one of them. She had so much in common with Allison, we barely got a glimpse of it, but their brief conversations were always so sparky. She and Luther were the only ones who stayed with their abusive parent well into adulthood, that would've been fascinating to dig into - especially as they have very different personalities. Almost everyone expected her and Klaus to be chaotic bffs, and it was such a pity that never materialised. And I would have loved to see how she got on with Ben and Viktor - I've seen it done well in fic, there's so much potential there, but it was basically entirely bypassed.

And Diego, of course. They are each other's best cheerleader and defender, they admire each other's fighting skills, they can read each other like a book, and they have absolutely unmatched chemistry. And all the way through, what they actually want out of life aligns so beautifully: they crave excitement and adventure with the people they love, they don't care about stability or safety, they love being in the thick of it, throwing themselves into a fight. They don't want calm, quiet lives without conflict. Lila gets lost in the subway system for the same reason Diego is off at the CIA. This is in sharp contrast to Five, who was clear from the start that he'd done his time and was dreaming of retirement, he didn't want to deal with yet another emergency every five minutes.

And (again unlike Five), Diego and Lila aren't content to go it alone - they thrive around other people, they are drawn to being around family and friends. It's healthier, in real life as well as on TV, for couples to have close relationships outside of the core one - and Diego and Lila, although they revolve around each other for two whole seasons, never feel like they're trying to isolate themselves from the group, they're always including other people in their shenanigans.

So yeah, unless you weren't paying attention to Lila until Five started making googly eyes at her, you would have seen the beauty of her progress in finding her place with the Hargreeves - and it's significant that her last line (other than "fuck you", lol) is to thank them for letting her be part of their weird family. That's her underlying character arc, and it sucks that all the focus went on a grubby little detour for the last couple of eps instead.

[justagalwhowrites]

Yearling - Ch. 36: Severed

Joel, Tommy and Ellie search for you. A continuation of Yearling ch. 1-35 found on Tumblr here.

I'm sorry I couldn't resist.

Pairing: Joel Miller x Female Reader

Warnings: Canon-typical violence and a step beyond. Torture. Mention of past sexual assault (not described). No use of Y/N. Minors DNI 18+ Only 

Length: 8.2k

A/N: I want to state, real quick, that Bambi is NOT going to be sexually assaulted again. This is a highly triggering subject and, given the situation she's in, I understand if folks are bracing for it. That's not going to happen. The threat of it is there but it's not going to happen.

We are into the final arc of Yearling and we are going to see some TLOU 2 OVERLAP again. There isn't any this chapter but there will be in this arc and here's how: a character from that game will be mentioned as will the spoiler-y incident from a few chapters ago. What happens plot wise in this arc is completely separate from the game and entirely original content BUT there is that character overlap and more specific mentions of the incident and the motives behind it. This character returns NEXT CHAPTER. If you're trying to go in blind to season 2, it might be wise to step back. Feel free to send me a DM, I'm happy to answer any and all questions!

AO3 | Chapter One | Previous Chapter | Next Chapter

Joel had rarely paid much mind to how long it took to get out of Jackson before. 

“Tommy,” Maria was stalking after her husband as he, Joel and Ellie headed for the stable. “Be reasonable, you can’t just take off…” 

“Sorry, babe, but I can’t just sit here and let ‘em have a piece of her,” Tommy said as they went to the stable. There were the two horses Tommy and Joel had just returned on, the three that had carried the kids back, and some horses you’d been working with. You’d been telling Joel about their progress, how one was nearing well broke and you wanted him to go with you to the shooting range with her soon to get her accustomed to the sound of gunfire. 

“Do you have some kind of death wish you haven’t bothered to tell me about?” Maria planted herself in front of her husband, her arms crossed, defiant. “You have responsibilities here, Tommy! People who depend on you, people like me and our fucking son! You don’t get to just take off at your brother’s command anymore!” 

Joel stiffened at that. He and Maria had gotten to a good place in their relationship over the years, her moving past the thought that he’d been the driving force behind all her husband’s misdeeds. They’d settled into a mutual respect and eventual affection since he’d come to Jackson, Maria seeming to appreciate what he did for the community and the way he loved her son and Joel admiring her leadership and the way she was a partner to his little brother. He thought they were past this. 

Maybe he was wrong. 

Tommy took his wife’s shoulders in his hands, his thumbs rubbing little circles against her. 

“If it were you, he’d be going with me,” he said gently. “That’s my baby sister out there, Maria. Can’t live with myself if something happens to her and I didn’t do everything I can to stop it. I’m goin’. You can either help and hope we get back soon or you can be pissed while I’m gone but I’m goin’, you can’t stop me.” 

He pressed a kiss to her forehead and went and stood beside Joel, looking over the horses. 

“What’s better,” he asked. “Tired mounts or ones that might spook?” 

Joel looked at his brother for a moment, thankful that he had him to rely on, and ground his teeth. He didn’t know the answer. 

“They’re on foot,” Ellie said, joining them. “Tired is probably better, we’re still going to catch them. But I don’t expect this to be quiet and if we’re on horses that spook, well…” 

Joel gave her a stiff nod and went to get the horses ready to leave. He was moving as quickly as he could but it felt slow, everything felt so slow. It felt like he should be running, pushing himself to the brink so he could reach you sooner. Every second you were away from him hurt. It was worse than when you’d left Jackson to search for Savvy in the blizzard. That had been bad enough but at least then he could believe that you were in one piece, that you could take care of yourself. 

That wasn’t the case now. He knew you weren’t safe. He knew you weren’t OK. He knew he’d vowed to protect you, the night the two of you made promises to each other in his bed he had sworn to keep you safe and never let anything happen to you. 

He’d failed at that. 

He’d failed and now he was here, doing what he had to do to make sure he could reach you. It just didn’t feel like enough. Nothing would, not until he held you again. 

Tommy and Maria talked in low, harsh voices until they had things situated. Food, water, ammunition, medical kit.

“Tommy,” Joel said, jerking his head toward the horses, voice sharper than he’d meant it to be. His brother jogged over to him, taking the reins of his horse from him. 

“The guys who brought the kids back are going to wait here until a few more crews come in,” Tommy said. “Then they’re coming out after us. We can mark a path. With fresher horses, they’ll catch us quick.” 

Joel nodded stiffly and the three of them led their horses to the gate, Maria following with her arms crossed over her stomach. In another situation, Joel would have taken the time to talk with her and reassure her. He didn’t have the luxury of time now. 

He mounted up as the gates opened, Ellie and Tommy following suit, the three of them riding through the gate the moment there was room. 

“Joel!” Maria called after a moment. He looked back at her. “Bring my husband home.” 

He watched her for a moment, at the fear on her face and in her wide eyes, a mirror of what he was feeling now. But she was still letting him go. He wasn’t sure he could do the same in her position.

“I will.”

 Ellie took the lead, pointing out the spot in the fence where kids left town. Joel ground his teeth and resisted the urge to yell yet again. What good would it do? What was done was done and this lesson was one he doubted Ellie would forget. She didn’t need to be taught it again.

They rode for nearly two hours when they came upon a small clearing and Ellie jumped off her horse before it had even come to a stop. 

“We were here,” she said, looking around, almost panicky. “We were here, I know we were, they had us behind that tree…” 

She ran over to it, walking around it until Joel couldn’t see her anymore. 

“Ellie!” He called. He couldn’t have her out of sight, not right now. 

“I was right,” she called back, coming around the tree. “I took a chunk of bark off of it, this is where we were but they’re gone, completely fucking gone, I don’t…” 

Joel was less surprised than Ellie. 

“They weren’t about to sit and wait for us to find ‘em,” he said. “We need to track ‘em. We’ll find them.” 

He, Tommy and Ellie circled the clearing on foot, looking for signs of a trail. It didn’t take them long to find one. Unfortunately, they found more than one. 

��The fuckers split up,” Tommy kicked a plant in frustration. “Any way to tell which group had her?” 

“Smaller boot prints, maybe,” Joel said, looking closely at the ground. 

“But there were other women,” Ellie said. Joel’s head snapped toward her. “They had a few women. I didn’t talk to them but… She wouldn’t be the only one.” 

“We can’t split up,” Tommy said. “It’s too goddamn risky, there are too fuckin’ many of ‘em, we have to stick together…” 

Joel nodded, trying to think. He tried to keep his shit together but he could feel it happening, the panic setting into his bones. He could hear the blood in his ears, his heart pounding a frantic rhythm against his ribs. He was having a hard time taking a full breath, his head spun. He reached out, his hand finding a tree trunk, giving him something to root him to the ground. 

“Joel?” Ellie’s hand appeared at his back. “Hey, you can’t die on us right now, we have to get her back, you can’t do this now, you gotta keep it together, you hear me?” 

He nodded quickly, closing his eyes for a moment. His mind scrambled for something - anything - to hold him here, something to make him push past the fear and do what he had to do. 

He thought of you. 

He thought of the first time he’d felt your body against him, on the back of a horse in the snow-covered forest. The first time he’d held you because you wanted him to, how you’d sought comfort in him. The first time he’d kissed you, how your lips had fit softly against his, the quick little breaths you’d made, the way you’d felt so close to him. The first time he’d touched you as his wife, how your body was so familiar to him but was brand new, too, with this new context. You were his, he was yours and he needed to keep himself together long enough to get you home. 

He took a deep, shaky breath. 

“We follow one trail,” he said. “We either find her or we find the people at the end of it. If she ain’t with ‘em, we get ‘em to tell us where she is.” 

“You really think they’re just going to, what, tell you whatever you want to know?” Ellie gaped at him. “They’re not going to just answer your fucking questions, Joel!”

“Wasn’t plannin’ on askin’ nice,” Joel said, stalking back toward the horses. “We follow the middle track. See where it leads.” 

Joel knew he should feel some kind of shame about what he was about to do. What he wanted to do, how he wanted to hurt them. He’d never told Ellie the finer points of what he and Tommy used to do - still did, when the need arose. He’d never told her what he did to find her when David had her and he was desperate. She knew he used to kill people, he thought she had some idea of just what that entailed but he’d protected her from the worst of it, the most shameful parts. 

Now, he was hungry for it. If he were a dog, he’d be salivating for it, aching to get his jaws around the throat of the man who had taken you from him. He didn’t want to just kill him, that wasn’t enough. It hadn’t been enough the year before when he’d sent him away from Jackson and it wasn’t enough now when he was doing who knows what to you. He was going to enjoy pulling him apart, piece by fucking piece. He almost hoped that Cody wasn’t with the men they were tracking, that he’d find you and have the chance to take every ounce of pain from them before finding Cody and taking it from him, too. He couldn’t even regret the drive to do it or the fact that he knew he could do it and do it well. His only concern, after finding you, was exposing Ellie to that. 

But they lived in a harsh world. Maybe it was good for her to know the harsher parts of it. 

Joel led the way, slower going now that they were beyond where Ellie knew the group to be. They were carefully tracking a group of what looked like seven people - including two women - for hours. It was dusk when Tommy noticed the signs of people first, giving a low whistle that sounded something like a bird. Joel looked over his shoulder and Tommy nodded toward a patch of sky he could see through the trees. Joel looked up. There was smoke. 

He dismounted and tied his horse off, Ellie and Tommy doing the same, before the three of them prowled, quiet and slow, toward the smoke. It wasn’t long before they could smell it, hear the quiet laughs of men. Joel tightened his jaw and his grip on his gun. His heart raced. 

The group they came upon largely had their guard down. Joel spotted someone through the trees, beyond the fire, looking like they were patrolling. Otherwise, they weren’t paying any attention. Joel gestured to Tommy and Ellie, sending them behind larger trees, Joel going to one himself. He peered around the thick trunk to find them there, make sure these weren’t just innocents passing through and seeing if he could catch a glimpse of you. 

But they weren’t innocents, a woman with her hands bound sitting beside one of the men at the fire, another one - also tied - with her back against a tree. There was no sign of you or Cody. 

Tommy met Joel’s gaze, his face set and determined. Joel gave him a stiff nod before turning to Ellie, her own expression hardened with barely controlled rage. She didn’t even look at Joel, too busy watching the men around the tree. 

Joel took a deep breath and raised his gun, stepping around the tree and firing, catching the man with his back to them in his head. He fell forward with a thud. 

There was a moment of stunned silence, the only sound birds fleeing the crack of the gun. Then, it was chaos, the men scrambling for weapons. One of the women screamed. 

“Need two alive!” Joel yelled to his brother and daughter, pressing closer and firing again, felling another man. 

Tommy shot next, a third man going down. A bullet whizzed past Joel’s head, close enough that he felt the heat of it on his skin, the shot clipping his ear. He ignored the sharp pain of it, watching as the shot Ellie got off dropped a fourth man. The fact that they’d caught the men when they’d stopped for the night was to their advantage. They were clearly used to traveling in a larger group and running unchallenged, only watching for infected who often made themselves known with crackling breaths, the sound of crunching through the brush and sharp clicks. They weren’t expecting a small group to come in, guns blazing. They were slow getting their weapons, rifles on the ground and out of reach, making picking them off like shooting fish in a barrel. Joel shot the man on watch as he came running toward the fire, his gun raised and aimed at Joel. 

Tommy charged forward and grabbed a man who was just getting to his feet, his back toward the three of them. He was just raising his gun when Tommy swung the butt of his rifle at his head, catching the man in the temple and knocking him off balance. He took advantage of the moment and ripped the weapon out of the man’s hands, casting it aside before shoving him to the ground and putting his boot in his chest. Tommy leveled his rifle at his head, holding the man in place. 

“Got one!” He yelled to Joel. 

There were two men left standing now, one reaching for a gun. Ellie shot him in the shoulder before Joel got a chance to react, sending him sprawling on the ground. The other was smarter. He grabbed the nearest woman and pulled her in front of him as she screamed, pressing a gun to her head, his eyes darting between Joel and Ellie. 

“Keep coming and I kill ‘er,” he panted. 

“Joel,” Ellie’s eyes darted toward him. “What do we do?” 

“Let me go,” the man said, the woman in his grip trembling. “Him too, and I leave her alive.” 

Joel didn’t have time for this. He moved quickly, raising his gun and firing, hitting the man in the middle of his forehead. The woman screamed again, covered in his blood and stumbling forward as his body went limp on of her. 

“Shit,” Ellie lowered her gun, looking at Joel. “I thought we needed two.” 

“Think we got two,” he stalked over to the man Ellie had hit in the shoulder. He was whimpering on the ground, clutching the hole that was gushing blood. 

“Please,” he said, eyes wide. Joel ignored him, grabbing a fistful of his shirt and dragging him to the man Tommy still had at gun point. He dropped the man there with a pained groan and he looked to the women, the one who had been a hostage sitting up next to the body of the man who’d had her. 

“C’mere,” Joel said. They looked at each other quickly but stayed still. Joel, again, resisted the urge to yell. He didn’t have time for this. “Ellie, cut ‘em loose, tell ‘em how to get to Jackson if they want. Give ‘em whatever they need. See what they know.”

Joel turned his attention back to the man on the ground, going down on one knee beside him. He grabbed his hair in his fist, forcing his eyes to meet his own. 

“You’re gonna tell me what I wanna know,” Joel said. “And you’re gonna do it quick. Understand?” 

“Why would we tell you a goddamn thing?” The man below Tommy asked, watching Joel. His words were quick, panicky. Joel looked back at him for a moment before he ripped the injured man’s hand away from his wound with one hand and thrust his thumb inside the bullet hole, pressing up into the tendon below his skin. The man thrashed and screamed, the shrill sound sharp and cutting. Joel left his thumb jammed inside him until the other man spoke again, his eyes wide. “Fuck, OK! OK! What do you want to know, we’ll tell you! We’ll tell you, please!” 

Joel pulled his thumb free of the man’s body and wiped the blood on a clean spot on his shirt, turning his full attention back to the man below him. 

“Should get one thing straight now,” Joel said. His voice was flat. “I don’t mind hurtin’ you. In fact, I like it. Like gettin’ justice for everything you’ve done wrong in this life. I can promise you’ve done a lot wrong and I can promise I can make you pay for every goddamn ounce of it in blood. I know how to make it last. But I’m in a hurry and I want this over quick. It’s in your best interest to give me what I want. Got it?” 

The man gave a shaky nod. 

“Your boss has got my wife,” Joel said. “You split up. I need to know where he’s takin’ her.” 

“He gave us a meet up point,” he said, voice shaking. “We were afraid of someone coming after her, he had us split up, he’s got her not us, I swear…” 

Joel ground his teeth. 

“Where.” 

“I don’t know where he’s taking her,” he said quickly. “I know where we’re supposed to meet him tomorrow, that’s all! I swear, I don’t know where he’s going.” 

Joel thrust his thumb inside the gunshot wound again, plunging it deeper, pulling harder at the structure of him as he screamed and writhed. 

“No, stop!” The man below Tommy begged. “We don’t know, we don’t know! We just know he was taking her to trade, that’s all we know!” 

Joel froze before pulling his thumb from his body. He grabbed the man’s hair again, forcing him to look at him. 

“Trade?” His heart was pounding. “Trade for what.” 

“Territory,” the man panted. “Please, there’s a guy who wants ‘er, promised us territory if we got her for him, that’s all I know. He was going to try and meet with him, see if they can cut a deal. If he couldn’t find him or couldn’t get what he wanted, he’s meeting us in the morning.” 

Joel looked to Tommy, his face hard. Tommy just gave him a nod. It seemed like the truth. Joel turned back to the man. 

“You’re gonna tell me where the rendezvous point is,” he said. “And you’re gonna keep it real quiet and then we’re gonna ask your friend the same question and he’d better say the same place as you. Got it?” 

Joel leaned in close, the rattle of the man’s pained breaths hot and wet on his ear. 

“North, ten miles,” he said. “Where the rivers meet.” 

Joel sat back from him and looked to the other man. 

“Now you,” he said. “Better say the same damn thing as your fuckin’ friend.” 

The man’s eyes darted toward Tommy, who pressed the gun closer. 

“Don’t look at me,” Tommy said. “I ain’t savin’ ya. You wanted to live? Shouldn’t have taken my brother’s girl. Answer the question.” 

“North of here,” he said, looking back to Joel. “Said they’d be there in the morning, we were just stopping to rest for a bit, that’s all…” 

“Where north of here.” 

The man’s eyes darted to his friend before looking back at Joel. 

“Ten miles or so,” he said. “There’s a spot where two rivers meet…” 

Joel nodded slowly and looked to Tommy before getting his knife out. 

“No,” the man below him shook his head. “No, I told you what you wanted to know, I didn’t lie, it was the truth I swear it was the truth!” 

“Oh, I know it was,” Joel said, adjusting his grip on the knife. “But you took my daughters, took my wife. Not about to just let you live.” 

He thrust the knife into the man’s stomach and he gasped, his eyes and mouth gaping wide in a silent scream. Joel angled the blade up, forcing it towards his lungs before twisting it and pulling it free with a harsh tear. He wiped the weapon on the man’s pants before getting to his feet, watching as he tried to hold himself together, not able to take a full breath. He’d drown in his own blood before too long and Joel wanted to watch him do it. This man had taken everything from him. He was owed his suffering. 

“Joel,” Tommy said, nodding down at the remaining man at the end of his gun, one who was clearly about to make a run for it. He knew he was done for, he was desperate. “What are we doin’?” 

“Shoot ‘im,” Joel said. “Not worth the risk.” 

Tommy obeyed, the man dead even had a chance to flinch. Joel went back to watching the the first man gasp and gargle, fighting to breathe and failing. He should feel something, he knew that. He should feel guilt or some kind of pity. He didn’t. He barely even felt satisfaction. You were gone. He was hollow of everything beyond pain and fear and rage. 

“Joel,” Ellie’s voice was quiet behind him. He turned to face her, her eyes wide as she looked between him and the dying man. He’d almost forgotten she was there. 

“Get the women out?” Joel asked, shifting instinctively to block her view of the man suffering at his feet. She peered around him, anyway. 

“Yeah,” she said. “They didn’t know anything. Gave them directions back to Jackson and some guns from these assholes. I don’t know that they’ll end up there but…” 

She looked at the man again for a long moment before looking up at Joel. 

“Did you get an answer?” She asked. “Do we know where Mom is?” 

His chest got tight, hearing Ellie call you that, knowing that he shared children with you and you were gone. 

“We know where Cody’s headed,” Joel said. “Let’s get what we can from here and head out.” 

The three of them took ammunition and weapons and food from the dead before mounting up, Joel taking the lead again. 

It only took a few hours to reach the place the men indicated. The group had stopped here before, Joel could tell. There were signs of fire pits, places where fallen logs had been dragged over for places to sit, cleared brush. 

“What do we do now?” Ellie asked. 

“We wait,” Joel said, not happy about his answer. How was he supposed to just sit here when you were out there, with them? But he didn’t have another choice. 

They got the horses settled and found places to watch and wait where they should see people coming and have the advantage. Joel settled in, Ellie sitting beside him while Tommy kept watch. 

“Where’d you learn how to do that?” She asked eventually, quietly into the dark. 

“Do what,” he asked, even though he knew. 

“Hurt someone like that,” she said. “Make them give you information.” 

Joel was quiet for a moment, twisting his wedding band over and over on his finger. 

“You know some of what me ’n Tommy did after the outbreak,” he said. “Did some of that, too.” 

She nodded slowly.

“You never talk about it.”

Joel shrugged. The sound of crickets seemed loud, louder than they should be. 

“Not exactly somethin’ I’m proud of, baby girl.”

“But it’s useful,” she said pointedly. 

He sighed. 

“I’ve used it a few times since, when it’s important,” he said. “When it’s to protect you or her. It’s not somethin’ that’s good to know how to do.” 

“I want to know how to protect people, too,” she said, her voice dark. “I have shit to protect, too, Dad. I want to know how.” 

Joel sighed, looking over at her, the outline of her barely visible in the light of the moon as it filtered down through the trees. 

He wanted to tell her that she didn’t need to know this stuff. That he would always be there to look after her, to do these ugly things that needed doing. But he knew that wasn’t true. 

He’d doomed her to this life, in a way. One where she wanted to know how to pull answers out of someone with pain, how to turn the love you carried for the most important people in the world into a deadly weapon. There was no other way to be in this reality, one with infected and raiders and the last gasp of human kind struggling to continue on. If he’d left the doctor alive, at least, maybe things would be different. Maybe he’d have succeeded without Ellie, maybe the world would have been better for her eventually. 

But he would have come after her and there was no point in fixing the world if it had to continue on without her in it. Good, bad, indifferent, there was no point to any of it if the price was her life. Hers or yours or Savvy’s, the three of you were all that mattered. And he liked knowing he had skills he could fall back on if he needed them. 

“We’ll take care of what needs doin’ now,” Joel said. “Then we can talk.” 

The three of them took turns keeping watch. Joel wasn’t able to sleep. Instead, he thought of you. How he’d had to coax you into life in Jackson, how you’d come to find your place there, how you’d chosen to do all that with him at your side. 

There was a lot in this life he knew he didn’t deserve. He’d never deserved Sarah, that was for damn sure. The world hadn’t deserved her, either. He’d squandered the gift that was her existence, let her down when she’d needed him the most and he’d bourn that weight the rest of his life. He didn’t deserve Ellie, either. He certainly didn’t deserve you, something so strong but soft, vibrant but centering. You were meant for something more than him but you’d chosen him, anyway. He remembered when your fingers first brushed his, when he first heard you play guitar, when he first saw how you loved his daughter like she was your own. He wasn’t sure how he was meant to keep going if he didn’t get you back. What would be the point? Ellie was grown now. Savvy had survived all on her own for years and Ellie had taken her under her wing. They didn’t need him. But he needed you. 

Dawn was just beginning on the horizon when Joel heard it, the sound of people coming in from the north. He roused Ellie and Tommy and the three of them stood, lying in wait amongst the trees, rifles at the ready. 

Joel wanted to come out guns blazing but then he saw Cody, riding on horseback with just two other men. 

They weren’t outnumbered. You weren’t with them. 

Joel readied to step out from the trees, rifle raised. 

“Joel,” Tommy hissed.

“Go around the side,” he said, voice low. “Kill the others. But he’s mine.” 

He moved from behind shelter then, weapon leveled at Cody’s chest.

“Cody!” Joel called, watching as the men’s heads all whipped around to focus on him, scrambling for rifles. “You have what’s mine.” 

Cody lifted a hand to his henchmen and they lowered their weapons as he smirked at Joel. 

“Think she was mine before she was yours,” he sneered. “Seems to me I just took back what got away.” 

“Where is she,” Joel said, prowling closer, straining to keep his voice calm. 

“Back where she belongs,” he said, fishing in his pocket for something. He found it, pulling it out, unwrapping it from a kerchief and throwing it onto the leaves at Joel’s feet. “But you can have the part of her you laid claim to.” 

Joel looked down and his vision narrowed to a sharp, bloody point. He could hear his heart pounding in his ears, the soreness of his legs and back and the pain at his ear that had been nagging at him suddenly gone. His hands shook as he dropped the rifle and lowered himself, slowly, to the ground. Lying there were two fingers. Your fingers. The wedding band that had been there since Joel had slipped it onto you was bloody, ragged flesh dangling from the ring he’d made you. 

Something inside of Joel snapped then. It was a sharp, clean break, one that he could he could feel deep at the core of him. A severing of his humanity, a setting aside of the things that made him who he was. The love he held for his family, the care he had for the place he called home, the remaining parts of him that were gentle and good - those things were closed to him now. Joel Miller had been called monster many times in his life but he knew he’d never become one. Not truly. He knew it because this had always been there, lurking below the surface, brought forward when he needed it most but always controlled, always contained. It wasn’t contained now. It couldn’t be. 

Joel left the gun on the ground, gently picking up your fingers - sticky and cool - and putting them delicately in his pocket before getting to his feet.

“Thought about sending you back with her whole hand but,” Cody shrugged. “Mitchum has use for it. Nothing she can’t do down a few fingers, though.” 

Joel didn’t even see Ellie and Tommy getting into position when he roared and lunged for Cody, ready to kill him with his bare hands. 

***

The Day Before 

“Move.” 

You glared at Cody, your wrists chained in front of you. 

“Not telling you again,” he said. “They’re still close enough, we could run ‘em down if you want to try me.” 

Your stomach got tight. 

“Fine,” you said. “Let’s go.” 

He split his men into three groups, hauling the man you’d killed to the brush and leaving his body behind. There were three women you hadn’t seen yet, one going with one of the groups, two with another. You didn’t get a chance to say anything to either of them, just sharing a look of desperation before you were led away. 

“You’re going to regret this,” you said as he shoved you forward. 

“Why, because you’re fucking guard dog is going to run me down?” He sneered. “Think we’ll handle him just fine. Besides, by the time he finds us, you’ll be long gone.” 

You followed his command, trudging through the forest and trying to find some way to leave a trail to follow. Joel would come for you. It would likely be hours yet before he was back from patrol, hopefully long after Ellie and Savvy made it back to town. You knew he’d come looking for you the moment he discovered you were gone, that he’d do anything to get to you. You just needed to make sure he could find you and that you were in one piece when he did. 

“Why are you doing this?” You asked once you’d been walking for hours, looking at Cody. “You said you knew it was wrong, you helped me. Now you’re doin’ this? Takin’ me and other women?”

“Let’s just say I learned my lesson with you, Doll,” he said. “Could try to be a ‘good’ man all I wanted, try to do the ‘right’ thing but it wouldn’t get me anywhere. Not like there’s much left here to live for, right? I should just take what I want while I can, no one is going to give it to me, even if I deserve it.” 

“Deserve it?” You stopped and turned to face him. “You think you deserved something from me? You held me prisoner, you fucking raped me, you…” 

His backhand caught you off guard, sending you sprawling to the ground, unable to catch yourself with your bound hands. He stood astride over you, grabbing your face sharply and forcing you to look at him. 

“Don’t fucking call it that,” he hissed. “That’s not what it was.” 

You spat in his face. 

“Fuck you.” 

He squared his jaw, like he was considering doing something more to you before he straightened, wiping your spit from his cheek. 

“Get her up,” he said. “We’ll stop here for a bit, take a break. Make her take a piss, get her cleaned up a little. Maybe we’ll have some fun before we hand her over.” 

You hoped the fear didn’t show on your face, that the way your stomach dropped and heart stuttered wasn’t obvious. 

It’s not like you didn’t know, consciously, what this was all leading to, what you were going back to. You’d been there for long enough before, you knew what it was and what this meant. 

But you weren’t sure you could survive it again. It had nearly killed you before. If you hadn’t escaped when you had, you weren’t sure how much longer you would have really lasted living that way and now you were going back to it. It would be worth it to protect your children but the fear of it was still there, the claws of it sharp and harsh inside you. 

Cody smirked. 

“Maybe I’ll show you just how nice I was before,” he said. “Show you what you took for-granted.” 

Two men pulled you roughly to your feet and shoved you into the trees, off the trail you’d been walking. Your chest got tight and your stomach turned and you found yourself flexing your fingers, clenching and unclenching your hands into fists as you tried to focus. Your vision threatened to narrow but you forced yourself to see beyond your own body, think beyond the fact that your lungs couldn’t seem to fill and your head was getting light. 

The men pushed you for a few minutes away from the rest, toward a stream. One stayed further back, watching the forest for signs of infected or someone who might come to take you. 

“Alright,” the other said, nodding to you. “You heard ‘im. Piss, get cleaned up.” 

“You think I’m gonna just do that with you watching?” You sneered, brows raised. 

He stalked forward, drawing his gun and pressing it to your chin. 

“You really think I won’t blow your goddamn head off?” He asked, his breath reeking of rot and liquor. 

“No,” you smirked back. “Your boss has you by the balls. You can’t do shit to me.” 

He stepped back and you saw the strike coming that time, dodging it enough that he caught your cheekbone more than your chin and you stayed standing. 

“I can do that,” he snapped. “And I’ll do it again.” 

“Go ahead,” you said. “Because you’re a little bitch. I’ve had good sex that hurt worse than that.” 

He bared his teeth and he went for you again. 

But he was stupid and big and slow and you knew where he was going to be now. You dodged him, not fully thinking and with no real plan. He stumbled where you’d been standing and you stepped behind him, looping your arms around his neck and pulling back so the chain constricted on his throat. 

He choked and gasped, dropping his gun on instinct as he clawed at your arms, trying rip himself free and trying to make a sound but you were pulling too hard, the other man too far to hear or see what was happening. 

The weight of him thrashing against you sent you off balance and you fell, taking him down with you, his body heavy on top of yours. But you didn’t give in, keeping the chain tight over his throat as he kicked and flailed. You held it there until he went limp and you released him, shoving his body off yourself and panting for breath as you did. You didn’t have time to get the feeling back in your body or to ease the panic, though. It was sheer fucking luck the other man who was standing just out of sight hadn’t heard something and you had to take care of this now. 

You found the gun where the man you’d killed - thought you’d killed, at least, you weren’t about to risk shooting him - had dropped it and took a guess at what direction to run in. 

You didn’t make it far. 

“Hey!” You heard the crush of leaves, someone moving for you. “Fuck, she’s running!” 

You turned and shot, the first bullet going wide as your hands shook but you were able to keep it together enough to get off another shot, this one hitting him square in the chest and he dropped like a stone. 

You kept running. 

You weren’t sure how long you ran for when you heard them, the men closing in on you. You couldn’t afford to look back and take the time to shoot, you had to keep moving, even as the sound pressed closer and your head was swimming. And then a hand closed on the collar of your shirt - Joel’s shirt - and ripped you back and down. You twisted on the ground, trying to aim the gun but it was kicked away from you. 

“You’re gonna regret that you little bitch,” the man panted over you. “We could’ve made this easy on you. We ain’t now.” 

He hauled you to your feet by your bound hands and forced you back to where the group had stopped, finding the two other men who had been sent after you on the way. Cody was standing where you’d stopped before, a small fire built on a patch of dirt in the middle of the trail. 

“You really think that was the smartest thing you could have done?” He asked, his voice almost eerily calm. 

“Did you really think I was just gonna let you hand me over?” You replied. “That I’d just go quietly into being a prisoner?” 

“I guess that’s why Mitchum’s so obsessed with you, isn’t it?” He asked, prowling closer. You wanted to shrink away but you couldn’t, not with the man at your back. “Because you just keep that fight in you. You didn’t give up like the others and he’s a man who likes a little fight.” 

He nodded toward the stump of a tree and the man at your back shoved you to it, forcing you to your knees beside it. 

“Thing is,” Cody said, pulling his knife free of its sheath at his belt. “You don’t need to be… intact for the shit he likes best about you.” 

Your eyes darted. You were surrounded, there was nowhere you could go and nothing you could reach. 

“Don’t be too worried about it,” he continued, kneeling on the other side of the stump. “Think he’d be pretty pissed if we took your whole hand, for example. But I don’t think he’ll miss a few fingers.” 

Your heart raced, the blood pounding in your ears. 

“That a risk you want to take?” You fought to keep your voice calm as you clutched your hands tightly to your body. “You really want to go through all this trouble for nothing?” 

He shrugged. 

“Think we’ll be fine.” 

The man at your back took your wrist in his grasp and shoved your arms down to the jagged wood of the stump, your hands clenched in tight fists. Cody took your left one and pulled at your fingers, trying to pry it open as you grimaced and fought him on it. After a moment, he gave up. 

“Fine,” he said. “Don’t want to cooperate?” 

He took the knife and slammed it through your forearm, on the side of it so it missed bone, making you scream as the blade went through the muscle and skin and into the wood on the other side. Your hand went limp on instinct and Cody spread your fingers with one hand, holding the other out. Another man handed him a knife and he lined it up with the base of your ring and pinky finger, smirking a little as he did. 

“Would you look at that,” he traced your wedding band and you tried to look at your hand through the blur of pain and tears. “The feral woman got hitched. You marry that animal of yours, that it?” 

You considered begging. If you thought it had even a chance at working, you’d have done it. But it didn’t.

“Fuck you,” you said instead. 

“Think this’ll make for a nice keepsake of you, if he ever comes looking,” he said, pressing the knife in just enough that you could feel it, even through the pain of the blade still lodged in your arm. “Wedding ring won’t mean much where you’re going, anyway.” 

He started cutting then, the automatic response your body had to pull away ripping and tearing against the knife holding you to the wood. You couldn’t look away from it, even though what little there was in your stomach was threatening to come up and the pain had deafened all the sound around you. You weren’t sure if you were screaming or not but you couldn’t breathe and couldn’t think as you watched part of your body be cut away. 

Cody finished, wiping the knife on your shirt - Joel’s shirt - before passing it back to one of his men. He held your bloody, jagged fingers up, turning them slowly in front of his face. You could hear again, the ragged sound of your breath and the rustle of leaves on the trees, the breeze moving through as though you weren’t being dismantled on the forest floor. 

“Think your guard dog will even still want you now?” He asked, holding them in front of you. Your blood dropped from them onto the sleeve of the shirt. “Not sure he’ll be interested in such… damaged goods.” 

You stared at the fingers in his grip in disbelief. It didn’t seem real, the things you’d used to play guitar and grip the reins of your horse and hold your husband’s hand were separate from you now. You remembered, for a moment, marrying Joel. The clarity of it was almost visceral, how he’d taken the ring that was now slick with your blood and slipped it onto the finger that was dangling before your eyes. It was a part of you then. It wasn’t now. 

Cody held his empty hand out and the man he’d given the knife to returned it. 

“No,” you shook your head, your voice wet and raspy. “Please, I…” 

“Not taking anything else,” he said, his tone almost kind. “Just going to make sure you don’t bleed out on us.” 

With that, he pressed the blade to the place he’d cut part of you away and you screamed, the metal scalding hot. You realized they must have put it in the fire, using the heat to cauterize the wound. Without warning, one of the men pulled the knife that was still in your arm free and the heated blade moved there, too. You could smell your skin burning, the man at your back holding you still as your body fought to escape the pain of it. They moved you around like a rag doll, cauterizing the other side of your arm, too, before stepping back from you. 

“There,” Cody stood, handing the knife off and taking a kerchief from his pocket, wrapping your bloody fingers in it before stashing them away. “Now you should know I’m not fucking around. Get up. We’ve wasted enough time on this shit and Mitchum won’t wait on us forever.” 

The man behind you pulled you to your feet by your shoulders and you swayed on your feet for a moment, your head swimming before you doubled over, vomiting mostly bile before your legs gave out, the man catching you before you hit the ground. 

“Shit,” Cody’s voice sounded far away. “We’ll have to find a way to move her…” 

You passed out. 

When you woke up, it was dark, a hand around your jaw. 

“There she is,” Cody said, releasing you and patting your cheek twice. “Need you up and walking, can’t trade you half dead. Move.” 

You tried to orient yourself, get some kind of understanding. You weren’t where you’d been when you’d passed out. You were on some kind of makeshift litter, your left arm and hand throbbing dully. Your hand was bandaged. Cody grabbed a fistful of your shirt, pulling you upright and you all but collapsed against him, stumbling as you tried to find your footing. The second you did, you pulled away from him. You couldn’t bear to touch him, even if that meant you ended up on the ground again. 

“Just gotta make it about 100 yards,” he nodded toward a flickering glow in the distance. “Then you’re not my problem anymore.” 

He nudged you in that direction and you moved, almost mindlessly. You weren’t strong enough to fight it. You were barely strong enough to walk. You cradled your injured arm to your body as best you could, watching as the glow of the fire drew closer. 

“Stop right there,” an unfamiliar voice said, a man coming through the trees with his rifle raised. But he lowered it as he drew closer, looking the group you were with up and down. “Cody. Starting to wonder if you weren’t going to make it.” 

“Got held up,” he said. “But I got what he’s after, if he still wants to meet.” 

The guard just jerked his head toward the fire and led the way, you trailing along behind him with Cody and his men at your back. 

The fire was in the middle of a large clearing, one with a cluster of about 20 men around it, the man you feared more than any other sitting at the back of it. 

A wide smile came over his face when he saw you, the spread of it sinister and slow. 

“Well well,” Mitchum said, getting to his feet and walking closer. He was still so much bigger than you, tall and broad and you knew just how well he could force you to do what he wanted. “The prodigal son returns, with my favorite toy no less.” 

“Told you I could get her,” Cody said, pushing you toward him. “And I believe we had an agreement.” 

“Sure, sure,” Mitchum waved him off before looking you up and down, just feet away from you now. Your head spun. “Jackson is yours when we take it down, as is anyone who survives. S’long as you remember who gave it to you.” 

Mitchum reached out, grabbing your injured hand roughly and you cried out with it as he pulled your arm toward him. 

“The fuck is this?” He held it up. “Thought I told you I wanted her intact, there’s no deal if you fucking maimed her.” 

Cody shrugged. 

“She killed two of my men,” he said.

Mitchum dropped your hand and clenched his jaw before snatching his gun from its holster and shooting Cody’s man who was at your side, making you flinch away from the sound. 

“You think I give a fuck how many of your men make it?” He asked. “You think their lives matter? Got fuckin’ news for you, theirs don’t and neither does yours so you better do a damn good job of explaining why you brought her to me damaged.” 

“She tried to take off,” Cody said, eyes darting down to the man who was dead  on the ground. “Had to do something to keep her under control. Figured you’d want her at all, even if that meant damaged.” 

Mitchum holstered the gun with a huff and pulled you away from Cody, your skin crawling where he touched you. 

“Well, she’s back where she belongs now,” he passed you off to one of his men before turning back to Cody. “Jackson’s yours, when we take it.” 

“And I want horses,” Cody said. “For my trouble.” 

Mitchum seemed to think for a moment before giving him a stiff nod. 

“Fine, three horses,” he said, waving them forward. “Take ‘em and go. Don’t want to see you again for a while or else I might change my mind.” 

“Pleasure doing business with you,” Cody smirked before looking to you. “Told you you should have given me what I deserved.” 

You didn’t say anything. Instead you just stood there, in the hold of one of Mitchum’s henchmen, watching as the man who’d stolen your freedom rode off into the night. 

Next Chapter

Taglist: @ashleymsnodgrass@planet-marz1@kalea-bane @juneswonderlust @ilovepedro @h-annahayy @starstruckmusiciansartghost @beccerjune @mumma-moonchild @netonetoneto @mellymbee @purplelye @n7cje @flugazi @evyiione @randomhoex @aliengirl99 @orcasoul @reds-ramblings @pedropascalsbbg @fupoola @tinypotatothing @knopes-waffles @lilmizmoz @ayamenimthiriel @jenispunk @panda-pascal @sarap-77 @flugazi @your-slutty-gf @daniegraceg @partyofone3413 @cumberpegg @noisynightmarepoetry. @fifia-writes @grumpygrumperton @srmacaroni @txlady37 @bigboiseason123 @ashleyfilm @arizonadreamingg

A/N: I know it's a rough chapter but... feral!Joel?

We've only seen the beginning of him, he's about to go on a rampage like no other I can promise you that.

Also, I'm sorry for making this chapter quite so brutal. I really didn't want them to get off easy in this situation, I wanted to make sure we know that there are going to be some long term repercussions from all this - in this case, Bambi's missing fingers. They live in a brutal world and they're facing brutal things and I wanted this to be reflective of that.

Thanks for sticking with the story. I really do love you all!

[reashot]

Red Like Roses... (It's period 🔴)

Warning: fluffness inside. Also really long.

At Beacon during a more peaceful time.

Pyrrha: Hmmm it's quiet, too quiet.

Ren: I agree. It's never a good sign. We should be ready for something.

Jaune: Ready for what?

Nora: Oh you know usually things never stay quiet for long especially when we're right next door to the main characters.

*yang burst into the room*

Pyrrha: And speaking of the devil.

Yang: Quick hide! *brace the door behind her*

Jaune: Oh Shi- okay gangs we trained for this! Quick initiate Pattern Delta Phi.

Nora: Aye, aye dear leader, let's initiate plan hiding under our bed's like cowards.

JNPR: *Bracing for Impacts.*

*Yang holding the door with all her might*

Ren: Wait what are even hiding from in the first place?

Yang: No time to explain. Here it Comes!

A large sounds resembling explosion came from across the hallway. The door starts to violently shakes and rose petals soon violently burst into the room. Even with Yang putting all her strength into the door. Some rose petals still managed to get inside.

Yang: .... I think we're in the clear now.

Pyrrha: What just happened?

Yang: Eh, promise not to freak out?

Jaune: Okay, I guess...

Yang: Good enough. *shows team JNPR the source of the roses*

Ruby: Huee~ *sniffs* huee~ 😭

Jaune: Ruby?

Ren: It seems to be her.

Pyrrha: Wait. Where are Blake and Weiss?

Nora: Found them. They're buried under all of this Rose petals.

Blake: *coughing up a bunch of petals* Eww I got some of it in my mouth.

Weiss: .... I just saw my grandfather.

Jaune: Okay, can someone now please tell us what is going on....

*Cardin burst into the room*

Cardin: Why the Fuck are there Roses all over the damn hallways!?

Russel: Don't try to lie we know it's coming from team RWBY!

Yang: Wow, wow! False accusation, much?

Dove: Well we can't help it. Because whenever something bad happened It's usually always you four.

Sky: Fucking Main characters shit...

Nora: I know right!

Pyrrha: Nora! Which sides are you on?

Nora: Oops my bad... (I mean, I'm not wrong 😒.)

Ren: *shrugs his head* Nora...

Jaune: Can all of you please stop being aggro for just one second!

You're upsetting Ruby for brother's sake.

Ruby: Wah! Wah! Wah! 😭

Jaune: Also can someone please tell me what just happened?

WBY: *looking at each others*

Yang: *sigh* (I guess I'm the one that should tell everyone.)

How do I gently put this? Ruby is in her special time of the month...

Jaune: Oh...

Cardin: The fuck does that even mean?

Russel: the month?

Dove: I see... (Maybe if I silently nod people will not think I'm dumb.)

Sky: (okay, she had her period. What does that have to with anything?)

Blake: Typical.

Weiss: Can you guys be anymore of a dudebros cliche?

CRDL: Hey!!!!

Yang: Let me put it this way. Every time Ruby has her "special month" her semblance's goes all haywire for some reason.

Jaune: Okay I get the gist of it. Team CRDL go outside and clean the hallway.

Cardin: What! Why the fuck should we clean up their mess?!

Jaune: Because I fucking said so. Now go!

Cardin: Geez... Whatever. C'mon boys, we better clean up team RWBY's mistakes. Again!

*slams door*

Blake: Thanks Jaune.

Weiss: Geez Arc, when did you grow a spine?

Yang: I gotta say Vomit Boy. I never knew you had it in you.

Pyrrha: *blush* (So manly.)

Nora: That's our Jaun-Jaun.

Jaune: Blake, Weiss. Please help Cardin & his team with the clean up outside.

Weiss: What! No way. Why should we help those dunderheads in the first place.

Jaune: Because they're right that the mess was started by your team.

Weiss: I'm sorry, our? For the record it's just Rub...

Blake: We're on it Jaune. C'mon Weiss let's help clean up all this roses. *drags Weiss away*

Jaune: Pyrrha, Ren, Nora. I also want you to go out side and help them.

Pyrrha: I understand Jaune. I will do as you ask.

Nora: Oh c'mon Jaune, why us too?

Jaune: Because they're our friends, Nora.

Nora: Well I'm about to go back to my room... *gets yoinked*

Ren: It's okay Jaune. I will get her to help us.

Nora: *grumble* (Fucking Main characters....)

Jaune: Thanks Ren. And Yang I want you to stay and find Ruby's "hygiene" products.

Yang: Wow, wow! Settle down cowpoke. I don't think you being a man is qualified to be the one to help with Ruby's "issue."

Jaune: I have seven Sisters...

Yang: Sweet brothers in heaven!

Uh, I take that back you're clearly overqualified.

At least I don't have to help clean up. But what're you going to do Jaune?

Jaune: I'm going to go back to my room to make a tea for Ruby.

A few minutes later.

Jaune: Here you go Ruby. A sweet herbal tea with plenty of honey and sugar.

Ruby: ... *sniffs* Thank you Jaune. 😢

*sips*

Jaune: It's okay Ruby you don't have to thank me.

Ruby: But I caused so much problems for everyone. *sniffle*😞

Jaune: *headpat*

There, there Ruby it's okay that what's friends are for. And you didn't troubled me one bit. In fact I'm happy to be of use to you. It reminds me that I'm still useful to someone.

Ruby: Jaune please don't think like that. You always were important to everyone.

Jaune: *kiss forehead*

It's nice of you think that Ruby. But I'm not. I'm not special like you. You're destined for great thing while I'm.... Just me.

Ruby: 0-0

Jaune: What's the matter... Ohhh, ohhh no. I'm so-so sorry Ruby I didn't realize that... I usually did that to my little sister whenever she's sad.

Ruby: *blush*

I-I don't mind it at all Jaune. It's just that if you want to do it to me again a little heads up would be nice. 😖

Jaune: I'm so-so sorry Ruby I promise that I... Wait, what do you mean by again?

Ruby: Uhh....

Yang: *clears throat*

I seems to have interrupted something here.

Jaune: Y-Yang!

Ruby: Sis!

Yang: Look Rubes I don't need to say this but remember what dad said. No boys. And Jaune please don't take this the wrong way but please for your sake please don't get any idea with Ruby. It will not end well for you.

Jaune: O-of course. I will never-ever think of Ruby like that. We're just friends after all.

Ruby: Friends... 😭

*starts crying*

Jaune: Oh, what's the matter Ruby?

[unluckiestmember]

Makima x Innocent! Reader

Characters: Makima, Kishibe (Mentioned)

Tags: Fluff, Developing/Established Relationship, Soft! Makima, dogs, worrying, Kishibe being Kishibe, denial of feelings and misunderstandings.

Warnings: Spoiler Warning for the International Assassins Arc and the Gun Devil Arc. SFW.

A/N: Soft Makima = Best Makima?

SFW

Makima is a controller. For her it is either her way or no way. And if you dare to defy her, she will be the last thing you ever see. 

She treats everyone like they are her dogs, toys and pawns in a larger game to win…

But not you. No, she treats you like an angel.

After missions and days at work, she will take you out to relax. No ifs ands or buts.

Gives you the best massages.

Isn't a fan of PDA. But if she feels threatened, she will grab you and show everyone who you belong to.

She won't force anything onto you unless important. She knows how timid you can be when making decisions.

She has no problem explaining to you her missions and tactics, though she will sugar coat some moments for your "safety".

Her dogs love you. They literally run in your direction when you go to Makima's home and just jump on you.

Yes, Makima is a little jealous of it.

Watches any movie you want to watch, good or bad.

If it's a horror movie, she'll hold your hand the entire time. And if there's a jumpscare, she'll hold you when you jump.

Loves when you get easily flustered but wont show it.

She'll literally stare at you with a small smile and quietly be in delight at your timid state.

Will ask about your day, which is something she doesn't do for ANYONE.

If you want a sleepover, Makima will do the whole nine yards. Endless snacks, a batch of good movies, bad movies and a bunch of blankets.

She only has ONE rule; Don't speak of what you two do outside of work to coworkers. You're her little secret. No one can have you but her. Not to mention she has a reputation to keep.

Will ask Kishibe, yes, Kishibe of all people, advice on how to care more and be better for you.

Will also ask how to tread lightly around you as to not scare you away. But will never admit it or say it out loud.

Say her eyes are beautiful or pretty. She'll melt just laugh and call you cute. Maybe even kiss you on the cheek.

In-Story (Spoilers Ahead)

When Makima fell for you, she thought she was sick.

So sick that she took a few days off of work to wonder what was happening to her.

She asked her higher ups and even Kishibe what was wrong in subtle ways.

They all concluded; she wasn't sick. She was in love.

But she didn't want to be. No, she wanted to just focus on Chainsaw Man and Denji! You were ruining her plans! You had to go.

So why couldn't she kill you?

She just couldn't kill you…

Though she continued to think her attraction to you was unnatural, she soon asked you out.

Say yes. Makima doesn't show it, but she wants you to accept her confession.

Though your relationship is not displayed around your co-workers, they know something is going on between you two.

They all think the same thing; "Good for her." "I'm happy for them." "She's dating someone? I thought she was just a scary emotionless woman!" "Lucky!"

Makima doesn't worry about anything.

So she's surprised she worries about you so much.

After your encounter with the Darkness Devil in hell, Makima was her usual quiet and mysterious self.

But Kishibe informs you she was worried sick when she found you.

And don't even get him started on how she was during the return of the Gun Devil.

She tries her best not to tell you her true motives with Denji, but if you give her puppy eyes she'll spill.

Please support her. The last thing she wants to do is kill her precious angel.

When you noticed her being extra friendly to Denji and Aki, your cute little head started to worry she would leave you for them.

She'll assure you in a sweet whisper that she only belongs to you.

Be on the look out for a jealous Denji...

"I'll admit. My motives will be seen as evil. But it is a necessary evil. I hope you understand... You have to understand. I know I can accomplish my mission, but it might be near impossible without you... Oh, I wasn't saying I-... Haha. Yes. I love you too."

Makima is a devil. A control devil. And could destroy the whole world.

But maybe. Just maybe. She'd sacrifice it all if it was for you…

Chainsaw Man requests are currently open! :D

Likes and retweets are always appreciated! I love you all, be safe and have a good day! <3

[uncomfortably-bowing]

there's so much utena discourse around certain aesthetic signatures of the show (in particular, scenes and shots like the sword pulls, the transformations and outfits, etc.) and, like, surface-level discussions over whether these things are "Actually Beautiful" or "Actually Bad."

and i totally get it, especially with regards to some scenes---like the ways in which people have taken the ending scene of episode 33 and turned into weird pastel-pretty aesthetic boards lmao----but i do feel like a lot of the discussion is over-simplistic, and disconnected from the actual framing and themes of the series

utena and anthy's world is full of beauty. it is also full of horror and pain. there is often no clear delineation between the two, and we are forced (quite generously!) to recognize both sides of this.

the sword pulls oftentimes carry feelings of manipulation, hurt, subservience. anthy summoning the sword drives in the repetitive, obedient actions she is forced to repeat time and time again for others as the rose bride. in the black rose arc, they're violent and terrifying. in the third arc, they're stand-ins of the dysfunctions the characters have with the person drawing them, the ways in which their emotions are being twisted and ignored.

and yet! they're beautiful.

they're incredibly intimate moments, in which the two characters---who, generally speaking, are either emotionally or physically estranged from one another---cradle or hold one another, pull out a culmination of that person's essence, as a heavenly light frames the two of them together. the first time anthy does it to utena, it is out of genuine fear for her, her voice quivering with fear as she tries to do anything to help her! it's love! it's an act of beautiful love!

when pressed on how it felt to have their sword drawn, the duelists are flustered---they can't say it was just painful, because it was more than just painful. the screams of the black rose arc turn into something more quiet, ethereal, pretty---and yet still uneasy, unsettling.

a similar conversation can be had about utena and anthy's outfits. they're symbols of their roles as duelist and rose bride, and for anthy in particular it's an outfit emblematic of her status as a static, never-moving prize to be won. the outfits are as ugly as the entire dueling system, and yet---while recognizing this---the show doesn't stray away from associating the dress and the duels with delightful, beautiful imagery. the rose imagery in general is very beautiful and striking, even at some of the more dark moments!

there is an aesthetically pleasing contrast between anthy's dress and utena's uniform---one that goes back ages in terms of our understandings of gender and social status. why is that beauty there? well, for a lot of reasons! one is definitely making us question what we think of as beautiful, particularly in the contexts of gender roles and society (why did we have that gut impulse to see anthy in that dress as beautiful to begin with?) but, for the sake of this post, i think the most satisfying answer is because horror and beauty are usually intertwined in our actual lives.

so much of the show is dedicated to both finding beauty in horrifying situations and seeing how beautiful things are oftentimes pretty horrifying. anthy and utena's relationship is beautiful, but grows out of abuse, sexism, queerphobia, and hurt.

when utena and anthy dance in front of everyone at the ball, how do we interpret that? well, our first instinct is as a beautiful scene of budding love and care between the two of them; our second instinct (especially after watching the show) is that it's another example of the way in which they've both been boxed into these roles of prince and bride---and all as hundreds of eyes are staring at them. when does the line between gender as choice and performance begin, and when does it become oppressive gender roles? when does anthy's performance as the meek rose bride become her real self? when do the two's relationship become loving, and when do they stop hurting each other? when do the ugly things at ohtori become beautiful, and when do all of the beautiful things become ugly?

and there's not really one point, always, although sometimes there are---and sometimes there's multiple points, and sometimes there was no transformation at all, and sometimes things never stopped oscillating between good and bad, ugly and beautiful, scary and hopeful.

and like, even beyond the really radical ways this impacts the queer and feminist readings of the show, i just think that's also very nice. so much of utena is built on recognizing the beauty in the world. the main characters live in a shitty world while leading shitty lives. and they find beauty in it still.

(i will here also add here at the end that when the show wants to make a very clear definitive statement on one of its aesthetics being basically entirely bad with no beauty behind it, it's very frank in its framing. see: any shot with utena in a dress or her girl's uniform)

[onepiece-polls]

One Piece Shipping War - Grand Finale!

Propaganda under the cut.

Propaganda for Franky x Robin:

Do I really need to explain?

The old married couple who's healthy, Enies Lobby (and all their appearances) are their propaganda really.

It’s all about the maturity!

Their dynamic is perfect and their pasts are so similar. I love the chemistry between them as well as their introduction that helped build the connection and shared history they already have.

they are THE t4t bi4bi ship | franky telling robin "existing is not a crime" immediately puts this at number one for me | they are opposites (bright and loud + quiet and goth) but also they're both so eccentric and silly <3 | THEY WEAR MATCHING OUTFITS

Mom and dad Straw Hat

They are STILL the Mom and the Dad of the Straw Hats, this is the one thing I don't care what Oda says <3 Also their interactions in Enies Lobby and Thriller Bark are amazing.

In my eyes, they are married. Some of my favorite character interactions in the manga/anime and in official art.

Oda had Franky call Robin his wife at least once

Your honor they’re married

I'M GOING TO PUT LINKS IN MY EXAMPLES (Mod note: I linked to the whole post, the propaganda was going to get too long otherwise. But I will copy this line:...) They immediatly clicked in Enies Lobby, Franky saved Robin with both words and actions ("Your existence is not a sin!"), and then she grabbed his balls.

The duality of two kids who were just trying to chase their dream and having circumstances outside their control (the government) take everything they love away from them, but one choosing solitude and the other adopting every other person in a bad circumstance??? I love them. Plus they literally had couple moments from the first interaction.

The ultimate t4t couple idk what else you need theyre iconic

A wholesome ship of a woman who feels the need to be constantly on edge trying to relax and a man who is a 110% himself from the moment we see him. the joy of frobin is the causal domesticity, in many color spreads and especially post timeskip we can see them casually enjoying the others company.

Remember when Franky was in Chopper's body in Punk Hazard and every time he spoke Robin was like "Franky. Stop talking. Do not talk while you're in Chopper's body."

idk like. he's obsessed with her. she's his weird Goth gf and he's her himbo. they have matching outfits. I love them.

Look. It's Franky and Robin. Literally the only two characters that make sense to ship on the Sunny. Their arcs are inextricably intertwined (water7/enies lobby). Also LOOK AT THEM interacting, both during their arcs, but also thriller bark, or post time skip. I love them. Also robin crushed frankys balls.

funny big robot man & analytical smart research lady power couple... silly x smart... himbo x researcher... augh... so good

They are the ship for taxpaying adults your honor I LOVE them they’re literally freak4freak and they share such a fucking powerful arc together (Water 7).

that moment she let him sleep on her lap in punk hazard was sooo cute <3 -- The matching thigh highs and bottoms in film z can NOT be understated. -- Strawhat mom and dad -- Let's not forget the way robin convinced franky to join ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) -- she also indirectly called his balls "treasure" so,,, -- the way their stories are so closely intertwined...they were both keys to destroy the world...the way they instantly connected over that...the soulmate-ism of it all...

they . them. girlboss and malewife. that's it.

She grabbed his balls. He totally liked it.

He's so silly and she loves it. She's so scary and he loves it. She grabbed his balls in public.

They will be endgame trust me. Franky doesn't treat any other girl like he treats Robin. There dynamic in Water 7 and Thriller Bark was and always will be one of the best in all of OP.

Propaganda for Nami x Vivi:

Yes, Nami has a new girlfriend on every island, but her heart belongs to Vivi. Vivi in turn refuses to marry, because her heart belongs with a pirate ❤

THEY’RE LESBIANS! IN LOVE! another point: my friends who are watching OP for the first time came to me and asked “so Nami and Vivi… they’re gay right?” So it’s pretty apparent to even newcomers

I just think they’re neat! And in love. Nami gave up money for Vivi that’s True Love

Anyone who saw them can just tell they’re gay. Like Nami gave up money for her

They're one of the rare lesbian ships in op, they care for each other so much !!

Lesbians

Lesbians

They were so gay that Luffy offered to share food to cheer Nami up when they were separated.

i dare you to read Baroque Works through Alabasta without shipping them. the way Vivi and Nami are so affectionate with each other, and Vivi putting saving her nation on hold to get Nami healthy again ???

Lesbians

Let’s go lesbians!!!!! Ok but actually, I think Nami saw a lot of herself in Vivi (ha) especially when Igaram “died” and then throughout their journey together Nami really encouraged her to open up to the crew. Nami showed Vivi it was ok to ask for help just like Luffy showed her.

Vivi was Nami's gay awakening and you cant change my mind. Nami was in love with Vivi and Vivi def had some kind of feeling for Nami. They were so close and they were more then just 'gal pals'

Lesbian Pirate Supremacy! they clearly care a lot about each other and considering when nami meets vivi she is probably one of the first close female friends she gets to have.

[strqyr]

genuine question: do people want bad, inconsistent writing? is that it? because that's the only way "taiyang is and always has been a horrible father and yang had to raise ruby all on her own and she resent him for it" makes any damn sense.

like. where's the resentment?

where is yang, while happy that ruby is one step closer to achieving her lifelong dream, feeling just slightly frustrated that she's once again sharing a room with her sister, when going to beacon was supposed to be a place just for her for at least two years without having to watch after ruby and feel guilty over it?

where's the resentment when tai sent zwei to the girls to be taken care of while he's away on a mission, placing that responsibility on yang again? why show yang instead being flippant about the whole ordeal, and shrugging it off like it's nothing, being ready to leave zwei alone in the dorm room for the week they're away because he has the absurd amount of food and a can opener tai provided them?

where's yang bringing up how she had to apparently grow up early because tai wasn't there, when she wanted to be treated like an adult?

where's the resentment when yang was about to leave home under the assumption it was her keeping her father from going after ruby, only to find out he isn't coming with her, once again leaving the responsibility of taking care of ruby on her shoulders?

because the show i watched, it doesn't exist. to even remotely get to that point you'd have to ignore ruby talking about their dad in a way that makes it clear he was present and raising them, you'd have to ignore yang having to wait for him to be out of the house to leave herself once again proving he was present and attentive of them, you'd have to ignore ruby's first happy memory being from that same time period (and with no corresponding sad memory to counter it), you'd have to ignore him reading them bedtime stories and taking them out for boba after school, making sure he's spending time with them even when he's busy with work.

you'd have to ignore that both yang and ruby have a good relationship with their father.

that is not to say tai doesn't have his flaws—every damn character in this show does—, but that's exactly what V4 is about. the rift that existed between yang and taiyang was his refusal to talk about raven and doing his best to prevent her from looking for her. that's it. just compare the difference in tone between yang's "oh, so now we can talk about her?" and "i don't know. some things you just need to be there for." and it's clear as a day where the resentment actually lies.

therein lies the core of the arc between yang and tai, and like many issues between characters in this show, it gets resolved: for the first time ever, he properly talks with yang about raven, and when yang is about to leave, he doesn't try to stop her like he has before; instead, he asks her where she's going, and gives information that might help make her journey easier.

if they intended there to be any lingering resentment from yang, 'boba' was not the way to do it. we know what yang's resentment looks like: anger, snappiness, the like. it's not quiet, almost somber.

they could have written yang treating tai's absence in vacuo as something she has come to expect from him, but they didn't; instead, she wonders why, because she can't fathom what could be more important for their father than being there, in vacuo, with them.

and that alone comes as validation for everyone who has wondered the same: why is tai staying in patch when everyone else is on the move? this is a character we're first properly introduced to as a father who has fallen asleep by his daughter's bedside waiting for her to wake up, a father who is almost brought to tears by relief that both of his daughters are back home and safe.

a father we last saw being absolutely desperate for his daughter to come back on screen when ruby's message cut short.

and beyond brings a sledgehammer and says yes, it is odd that taiyang hasn't left home to be by his daughters' side. wonder why that is, must be something important, wink wink ;)

and if you ask me, that sounds like a pretty damn good "long con", and damn good writing.

[crimeronan]

alright. WHAT is a Raven Cycle. What is this story about. All this time seeing you pointed about these people, but it took me ages to figure out what the "trc" tag even stood for -- that poll you just reblogged in fact. I'm ready. Give me the pitch.

HI.

the raven cycle is a series of four books by maggie stiefvater: the raven boys, the dream thieves, blue lily lily blue, and the raven king. there is a follow-up trilogy called the dreamer trilogy made up of three books: call down the hawk, mister impossible, and greywaren.

(my 'cdth' tag is my tag for the sequel series, which i like even more than trc.)

it's a YA modern fantasy series set in a small town in rural virginia. the series focuses on a gang of five teenagers (a sixth joining in book 3/4) who are all dealing with various magic bullshit in their lives. one is looking for a dead welsh king along a ley line in the mountains of virginia, because legend says that the king can be woken and grant a wish.

the problem is that this boy, gansey, is going to die.

we know this because the one girl in the group (sorry women. there are more women in cdth i SWEAR), blue, saw his ghost on st mark's eve. which means he will die within the next year. why did she see his ghost?? because he's either her true love, or she killed him.

or, you know. both. if you're a girl who's cursed to kill your true love with a kiss. as she is.

blue does not want to kill anyone. blue also does not want gansey to be her true love. they get off on the wrong foot entirely and she decides he's the devil for a little while. blue is overall having a bad time with the world and her place in it and the fact that she's the only non-psychic person in a family of psychics, And Also She Doesn't Want To Kill Anyone.

so the question is -- for all four books -- what..... would make her kill gansey. how is gansey going to die.

gansey's three other closest friends are boys in varying states of emotional turmoil.

ronan, who is where my URL comes from, is a suicidal bipolar maniac alcoholic who spends all of his time trying to kill himself. and is also magic as fuck. and hiding it. and going out street racing with a guy who wants to eat him. and they're kind of fucking about it. they technically never fuck except like. they're kind of fucking about it

adam is a trailer trash kid paying his own way into the elite boarding school that gansey & ronan attend. his dad is physically abusive to the point of adam's life being in constant danger, but adam refuses to accept gansey's offers of help or safety, because he's determined that nobody else ever Own him.

noah is a quiet kid with a violent past that gansey cares about very deeply, getting into all of his backstory involves major book one spoilers but it is. Rough.

the plot points in the series are complicated to explain because there's a lot of mythology and strange worldbuilding and psychic bullshit and magic all going on and playing off each other. but the series is about these five kids being in a giant pseudo-polyamorous relationship and loving each other and hating each other and wanting each other and killing each other.

it has some of my favorite relationship arcs of all time in any media, ever, and also it like. taught me how to write. LOL. so if you're here from the owl house (??) or from a different fandom and you like how i talk about characters and how i write character conflicts and character arcs and character relationships....... U Get All Of That Shit In The Raven Cycle.

and that's it!

[itsabouttimex2]

ooo if your not busy maybe Mei or Azure a gn! Reader who’s a descendant of the lady bone demon but said friend tries to hide that fact from them

(Thank you for sending such an interesting request! I ended up liking this scenario so much that I wrote out a few characters for it!)

Descendant of the Lady Bone Demon: Part One

(Part One) (Part Two) (Part Three)

Maybe they should’ve seen this coming. Maybe there were a few warning signs they didn’t pick up on. Looking back on it now, it’s pretty obvious, isn’t it? All those little things should’ve added up a long time ago.

The way the room grew silent and tense when you walked in, no matter how how exuberant it had been prior. How you manage to sneak up on everyone without even trying, as though you had no presence. The wide berth that strangers give you, even though they can’t explain why. That last one had been particularly strange for your friends. They hadn’t understood why people would treat you so coldly, not back then.

They understand now.

Mei Dragon thinks of you as one of her best friends, right alongside MK. Even in childhood were the two of you close, your company providing a brief break from her parents expectations and the crushing weight of living up to her family name. She grows up to think of you as a sibling, really. She’s a ride or die, rise to the challenge, thrill junkie sort of girl. And above all else, she’s fiercely loyal to her friends.

So Mei doesn’t believe a word that LBD has to say. She doesn’t care about destiny, about fate, about these so-called “invisible strings that guide us all through life”.

She lives her life as she pleases, doing what makes her and her friends happy! And she’s not gonna listen to a word that some wannabe world-destroyer has to say about it!

Until the Lady Bone Demon mentions you.

“Y/N bears my very own blood, thin though it has grown. In time, they will follow the very same path I have, to cleanse this world of pain and suffering.”

Now she’s listening. Her control over the Samadhi Fire slips, scorching a ring of death into the earth around her. The heat alone wilts the any flora that was spared outright combustion. “How…” The fire flickers, fizzles.

And then promptly reignites, blazing hotter than ever before. Immediately, the Lady Bone Demon cringes away from Mei’s sweltering power as oppressive heat waves bear down on her. She can only watch in fear and awe as the Samadhi Fire grows hotter and brighter, fueled by rage.

“How DARE you say that about my friend! Y/N would never do anything like that!” A blazing arc of black and red fire slices into the blue crystal formations created by the demon, melting them into sizzling puddles. Her anger builds with each lash of multicolored fire, reducing each and every spiked crystal around her to a mess of glowing goo.

That anger doesn’t fade even after the fight is over, not even after she gets to see the Lady Bone Demon shred apart and drift away. It’s cathartic to watch, but doesn’t make her any less angry about what she heard.

No, that anger only fades once she has you in her arms, hugging you as tightly to herself as possible. You don’t know about your lineage. No one else does either. Just Mei. Which leaves her with the worst dilemma of her life.

Does she tell you? Does she tell anyone?

She doesn’t want to be like Sun Wukong, hiding important information from even the people who would be affected by it the most. She was a victim of that, and it had hurt. She doesn’t want to hurt you. That’s the last thing she wants. But she also doesn’t want to cast any doubt on you, doesn’t want anyone to think you might end up a destructive foe that would one day need to be struck down.

The fear of losing you somehow outweighs the fear of you being angry at her for withholding information from you.

So she keeps quiet.

Mei rationalizes her silence on the matter by telling herself that she’ll tell you later. Yes, everything will work out, she’s sure of it! She’ll just… wait. Just a little bit. When everything calms down and everyone starts to move on from this disaster, she’ll speak up. Once everyone is in a better, happier mood, they’ll definitely be more receptive to the bad news, right? So she isn’t doing anything wrong. She isn’t acting like the Monkey King. She’s… just keeping you safe.

And she really hopes you won’t hate her for it.

———————————————————————

Tang has long pondered your place in this little group. It’s not that he doesn’t like having you here, nothing of the sort! Really, he sees you as family, the same way he sees everyone else in this ragtag group of misfits.

But you stick out like a sore thumb. Everyone else has a direct tie to the original pilgrims who once undertook a legendary journey to retrieve sacred texts.

Tang Sanzang for Tang. Zhu Baije for Pigsy. Sha Wujing for Sandy. Ao Lie for Mei. Sun Wukong for MK. Everyone had someone who their skills, appearance, or even personality harkened back to.

Everyone except for you. Tang had made several guesses before, wondering if there was someone you yourself were standing in the place of. But no one truly seems to fit. Rather than distancing himself from you over this disparity, he makes an effort to grow closer. “It must be lonely”, he reasons to himself, “being the odd man out.” He’s struggled with his own insecurities of being useless or weak, so he can relate to you on a personal level. After making that connection between the two of you, he starts to look out for you, trying to help guide you as you grow.

Tang probably sees himself as your father figure, just the way he sees himself as MK’s.

But, since you don’t have the support system that MK has, he tries to take a more involved role in your life. He’ll sit down with you to chat about any troubles or struggles you have, offering you a kind ear and a welcoming shoulder. And if you ever are struggling with something so bad that it breaks you down and leaves you in tears, he happily takes you into his arms and stays with you through the meltdown. If you fall asleep in his embrace after wearing yourself out, he enjoys it all the more.

He cherishes moments like that, actually.

Sure, he’s sympathetic to your feelings of loneliness and isolation. It’s true that he wants you to be happy. Sometimes he hates the world for hurting you the way it has.

But he loves that you trust him enough to break down in front of him, that you trust him to console and protect you in your weakest moments.

Even at a moment like this, where one of the greatest threats to humanity is bearing down on the two of you. For once, he doesn’t hide or cower. Not when your life is on the life. His golden shield encapsulates both of you, a fierce glare painting his face as he holds you close. You breath raggedly against his shoulder, barely able to support yourself. You had been wounded in the fight, nearly passing out after taking several blows for him and the others. Now, he holds you close, standing tall as you lean on him for support. He watches as the Lady Bone Demon throws attack after attack at the two of you, each blast of crystal and bone shattering and fading against his aureate shield.

The ancient demon glares down at him, a sneer curling her face. “You would fight your destiny? The great monk, Tang Sanzang-”

“I don’t care! Even if I am his reincarnation or his descendant… the choices I make are mine and mine alone! And I will always choose to protect my friends!”

“Even Y/N? Even the very one who bears my blood within them? Are you truly willing to risk saving them now, that they might follow my ways later?”

All the little pieces click into place for him. The mystery he had pondered the most was finally solved, and now he had to live with learning the answer.

“That- that doesn’t matter! Y/N is a person all their own, who will make their own decisions! And I trust them to stay by our side and fight for good! I won’t let you corrupt them!”

And he doesn’t. His resplendent barrier holds fast, shining brightly until all that is left of the demon has been scattered to the wind. He holds you gently, mustering the strength to carry you on his when everyone makes the trip back to Pigsy’s noodle shop. Someone like Sandy or Wukong would definitely better suited to the physical labor he was performing, but Tang couldn’t bear to separate himself from you yet.

Nor is he willing to let go once everyone has taken a seat. He props you up against himself, rubbing your back to keep you awake. “The kids eat first,” Pigsy says, carrying three hearty bowls of noodles. MK, then Mei, then you. Once all of you have your noodles, the chef goes back to the kitchen to start on another batch. Tang holds the bowl and the chopsticks, lifting the noodles to your mouth. Occasionally, he tips the bowl to your mouth so you can sip at the nourishing broth. On any other day, he would’ve swiped a few bites for himself while feeding you. Now, you’re all he can think of. He feeds you bite by bite, then guides you to lay your head in his lap once you’ve finished.

“Hey, Tang.” Pigsy peers down at him, another bowl of noodles in his hands. He passes it to Tang. “What was that demon lady saying to ya anyways?”

Tang looks down at you, watching your chest rise and fall, looking more at peace than ever before. He can’t tell you. Not here. Not now. Maybe not ever. But he and Pigsy can both keep secrets, and more than that, you’ll have two targets to split your anger between, keeping Tang from catching the brunt of it if you ever do find out. So he asks:

“Do you think you can keep a secret, Pigsy?”

Red Son

He doesn’t know why he likes you. By all means, you’re just another peasant, another mortal working at the same noodle store that his arch-rival is. But there’s something different about you. Maybe it’s the way you never seem to flinch or cringe or even cower. Maybe it’s the cool head you keep. Maybe it’s the wide-eyed awe you stare at his creations with.

Even after you had been kidnapped.

“I thinks that it was very clever of you,” you softly admit, not fighting against your bonds. “The way you used the tri-toothed 1x2 plates. I don’t see many people use those.”

He shouldn’t be happy to hear you say that. He should scoff and huff and strike down your praise like it’s meaningless drivel. But it’s not. Not to him. He’s been waiting to hear something like that for a long time, actually. Now, if it only it had been from the mouth of his father…

He shakes himself from those thoughts. “Not that a PEASANT like you could ever comprehend just how truly clever my work is! In fact, the legs of this machine are held in place by a truly unique-” “Technic angular wheel,” you finish for him. “It was a smart choice. I bet finding one that could evenly bear the weight of four legs at once wasn’t easy.”

No… no, it hadn’t been. In fact, it had been very hard to source that component. But here you were… acknowledging him. Praising him. Giving weight to his accomplishments by recognizing them. Somewhere deep inside, he’s a little touched to have his efforts commended.

Not that your kindness inspires him to release you. The only thing that frees you is MK and Mei coming in and storming through, knocking him over the head and escaping with you in their clutch.

Still, he doesn’t… hate you, at least. Or maybe, he just hates you less now. It’s a surprisingly good start.

A start that you continue to build off of throughout your repeated interactions, to his surprise. Your praise wasn’t just a one-time thing, wasn’t a way to get him to drop his guard. It had been genuine, entirely sincere. You had truly thought of him as clever, and you still do.

His schemes become less destructive, but more frequent. MK starts sending you out to deal with him, and most of your “skirmishes” end without any true damage. The two of you talk tech, and then he “tactically retreats” from the fight. Eventually, he drops the act, just swinging by the noodle store to talk with you about mechs or vehicles or rare components and where to find them at reasonable prices.

It’s a strange sight for everyone, the two of you amicably chatting. Sometimes someone will try to butt in, usually MK, who tries to keep up with your conversations to no avail. Other times it’ll be Pigsy, making sure that one of his employees isn’t being threatened or endangered. If one of his new mechs has a Journey to the West inspiration, Tang will happily chime in on it.

But most often, it’s only the two of you, happily talking as equals. Not enemies. Not rivals. Just… actual friends, somehow.

Even if it meant fighting to defend them, these are the sorts of moments he doesn’t want to lose. He wants to protect these cherished hours he spends with you, sharing noodles and blueprints in the middle of a crowded but welcoming restaurant.

Even if it meant fighting a foe he had no chance of defeating. All he has to do is buy a little bit of time. Just enough for MK and his ragtag team of idiots and peasants to smash this osseous demon into pieces. He glares up at her, his hair and hands exploding into flame. It’s a mere display, a small threat to keep her occupied. If she focuses on him, then she can’t hurt you.

Not that she’s trying.

“Foolish child. Do you really think I can’t understand the game that you’re trying to play? You would stand in the way of a peaceful world, all in the name of protecting the heir of your enemy?”

He falls to the ground, clutching his head in pain as she taps into his mind to deliver her next words.

“But a meager resistance cannot hope to undo destiny. I will find Y/N, and add their power to my own. That is their destiny, and I will see it fulfilled.”

“You- you won’t! I wont allow it, you… you PEASANT! You can’t hope to beat all of us! The Demon Bull Family, Sun Wukong and his successor, and the Six-Eared Macaque! All of us will stand against you! If we stand together, there is no threat that can overcome us!”

It’s a little funny, almost. Once, he would’ve scoffed and mocked another for saying such a thing. They sound silly on his tongue, cheesy and overblown. It’s something more suited to MK and his band of goons, speeches of friendship and overcoming adversities together. But it’s true.

And her defeat is testament to the strength that loves brings.

He thinks he loves you. You’re what he imagines having a little sibling is like. He wonders if you could love yourself, if you knew the truth of your heritage. Maybe you could. Maybe you’d fall apart and refuse to trust yourself ever again.

He chats idly with MK as you rest your head on his lap. It brings a strange peace to his heart. You look almost happy, in spite of the bruises and cuts. You look happy, which is proof that you didn’t hear a word that the Lady Bone Demon said about your blood ties.

He doesn’t want to rob you of that happiness so quickly, not when you fought and bled for it.

He absentmindedly strokes your head, thinking of how he’d roast anyone who might try to harm so much as a single hair on it. He can’t let anyone hurt you. Not even himself.

So he keeps quiet, and prays that all will turn out well.

[mogamuncher]

Heeeey I'm back again with another tidbit of the Slay the Knight AU (AKA: the Re:Zero and Slay the Princess crossover au)

Anyways due to some of y'all's amazing suggestion, I think I have a lot more ideas to rave about rn, mostly about the voices, but also some about the different Barus that this au would have!

Ok so, first the voices:

Voice of the Hero - Voice of the Noble: Julius.

Voice of the Contrarian - Voice of the Opposed: Ram

Voice of the Opportunist- Voice of the Cunning: Anastasia

Voice of the Cold - Voice of the Shut-in: Beatrice

Voice of the Paranoid - Voice of the Troubled: Otto

Voice of the Stubborn - Voice of the Proud: Priscilla

Voice of the Hunted - Voice of the Protector (shield, get it?): Garfield

Voice of the Cheated - Voice of the Wronged: Felt

Voice of the Skeptic - Voice of the Cynic: Pick

Voice of the Smitten - Voice of the Devoted: Rem

Voice of the Broken - Voice of the Selfless: Reinhard

I think that's all the voices but I might be wrong. . Uhhh anyways here they all are! Again a lot of these are from suggestions, but I really liked them! Some names are still iffy (Felt and Garfiel could definitely be improved upon I think) but I do like the character placements!

My favorite thing to think about is which route these voices will interact with, since all the Barus will be very. . . Interesting.

Speaking of the Barus, here's some ideas I had for their princess equivalents, with pictures!

So, first, to get it out of the way: The Witch

100% Wrathbaru, there's not a single bone in my body that says otherwise. The Witch route is all about distrust, it's all about how you betrayed the Princess and so she betrayed and beat up you, there's even a reference to the Frog and the Scorpion fable in her route, a fable all about trusting someone only to get hurt in doing so. Hell, the characteristic voice for her route is Voice of the Opportunist, who's singlehandedly the voice that should be trusted the least

Meanwhile in the Wrath IF route, Wrathbaru was specifically incredibly paranoid and distrustful to the point where he stopped seeing color, only ever seeing color in people who he fully trusted, mainly because he knew for certain where they stood emotionally when it came to him either through consistency across loops (Beatrice and Emilia) or because he knows that they just hate him (Ram and also kinda Emilia)

The point is, Wrathbaru absolutely would be the Witch equivalent, if only for the themes alone, though he's a lot somber than the very playful Witch.

Also, catboy Wrathbaru, enough said.

Though if Wrathbaru is The Witch then The Thorn will definitely be really interesting

I like to think that Wrathbaru in the Thorn would still be very jumpy and paranoid, instead of the gentle show of trust in the og game, Emilia (The Long Quiet) would have to drag Wrathbaru out of those vines kicking and screaming

Having Rem, Julius and Anastasia harassing Echidna (The Narrator) about describing a kiss with Wrathbaru would be absolutely hilarious though, absolutely peak fiction

Now, let's please talk about The Damsel

So, we can like, all agree that this is arc 1-2 Baru, right? Just straight up that Subaru, but with more bimbo energy

Rem here would be fun, though she probably wouldn't say things in the exact same manner the Smitten does, she can still be really funny with her Subaru crush, as seen in the snow special

Ok, so like, we got the Damsel figured out, cool.

Now, Happily Ever After, on the other hand

Ok so this is pristine cut content, so definitely some big spoilers, but:

Greebaru. Just, 100%, 1000% Greedbaru coded. There's not a single princess that could ever rival the Greedbaru-ness of this princess in the entire game

Just, him and Emilia being literally controlled the entire time, the idea of Echidna slowly growing disillusioned as the route goes on as she sees where her meddling will take her, the constant repetition and Subaru's desperation that doing things again and again will fix it, the fact that REM I would be the one orchestrating all of this???

Just, how utterly miserable everyone is inside of this route, it's simply Greed IF core. Everyone knows that Greed IF is the IF where no one gets to be happy despite everything technically being "alright", which is exactly the vibes that this route has!

Also, going from Arc 1-2 Subaru to Greed IF Subaru would be such a drastic jump, I love it

Greebaru would be a lot calmer than the og princess in this route, think lots of fake smiles and call insistance that slowly becomes hysterical desperation

Also, dancing with Greebaru under the stars, enough said

For other standouts:

The Den

We get to have a full monster Baru!

He'll probably be a chimera type beast that's a ground dragon (Petrasche reference ayy) mixed with a rabbit (hah) with a big horn on his forehead and Cappella-esque wings

There's no way to really stick his iconic slicked back hair on a rabbit head without it looking a bit goofy, so I propose we let Subaru grow his hair out and have it down for this one

The Razor:

For some reason I cannot possibly describe to you, I keep thinking of her equivalent being Pridebaru. No seriously do not ask me why, I don't know either

Maybe it's because she's the most affably murder happy one? Then again there's the Adversary. . . Anyways if she were to be Pridebaru then I suggest an added fire motif, along with the blades

The blades can mainly stay due to the association with Elsa, in fact, maybe this Baru can specifically only ever target Emilia's guts when he goes to skewer her

Also Mutually Assured Destruction

That entire interaction will be hilarious now. Rem finding this beautiful, Priscilla saying it's the perfect man, Ram wondering if he can be thrown out of a window??? Mwah, perfection

I also would like if there was a fire motif there, maybe he can also he on fire

The Nightmare

My beloved, because he would mean we get to hear Otto do the "Heart. Lungs. Liver. Nerves" chant, but also I have no clue what Baru he would even be

Maybe Gluttony??? A Moment of Clarity would make Gluttony an interesting pick here, but I don't know for sure

Other than that I'm still brainstorming ideas, and ofc taking suggestions, so feel free to tell me what y'all think!

Edit: It is done! I've written the first Chapter of this au, go see it here

[foundtherightwords]

🤫🍕🐈 "AQPD1" thoughts 🤫🍕🐈

I just got back from the movie, and here are my rambling thoughts (below the cut to avoid spoilers as usual.)

I have to preface by saying that I'm not a huge fan of the Quiet Place franchise or anything - I quite enjoyed the first movie and thought it was a really clever concept, but I didn't think it needed a second one at all. In a way, that gave me the perfect mindset to watch this because I had very few expectations of it (other than seeing Joe on the big screen for the first time!)

First of all, this is more of an apocalyptic thriller/monster movie for me than a horror. I was tense, but I was never scared. But that's OK because I wasn't scared by the first two movies either.

Second, this is a lot more character-driven than the first two movies. All the monster stuff only serves as a backdrop to explore Sam and Eric's emotional journeys as they navigate this end-of-the-world scenario. Fans of the franchise and horror movies may want more of the monster, but I think it has a good balance between drama and horror.

In fact, I wish the movie delved even more deeply into the characters. Sam has a fairly solid arc, and I like that her goal is so simple and relatable - it's the end of the world and she's dying anyway, so let's just get pizza. Eric is such a sweet puppy, but we know next to nothing about him (the articles aren't lying when they describe him as "a man of mystery"!) and I find it kind of weakens his connection with Sam a bit. I remember that in an early screening of the movie, Eric was suicidal because his father rejected him. I wish they'd kept that, because it both paralleled and contrasted nicely with Sam's own journey, and it would make their friendship and the ending even more powerful. There is also a hint that Eric has a fear of water (either because of his encounter with the monsters or something in his past), but it's never explained, which makes the ending a bit rushed to me.

Still, I enjoyed the movie and was ecstatic to see Joe on the big screen. Eric has one hell of a character entrance, and I totally did this when he appeared:

Some more random thoughts:

Frodo is too darned adorable. Between him and Eric, I spent most of the movie going "aww" or squealing.

The pizza/card trick scene is so, so sweet and made me tear up. My headcanon is that Eric wants to become a magician but his dad forces him to study law.

They cut out the stuff about Eric's shoes!!! There is only a very brief moment where Sam gives him the Reeboks to change into, but otherwise it's not addressed at all. I guess it's for pacing/time, but it's a shame.

In fact, there are a lot of scenes/moments from the trailers that are not in the movie. They're not important, but it's kind of annoying.

It's so funny that in the red carpet interviews, everybody was saying Alex Wolff would be the first of the cast to die... and his character IS the first to die!

The buzzcut has grown on me immensely, but seeing his curls on the big screen made me miss Joe's hair (especially in the earlier scenes, where it's all floppy and looks so cute.)

Anyway, that's it for now. Oh and I wanted to get one of those flyers/posters, but my theater didn't have any! These would have to do for now (I may have to go to a different theater to watch the movie again and see if they have a poster I can take home):

[feroluce]

Belobog was my fave main quest but a lot of it is so. Contradictory. It's like they had multiple groups doing different shit and none of them checked in with each other for consistency. And you see this so much in Gepard's profile.

So in the main quest, they made him unfailingly, unquestionably loyal to Cocolia. Gepard's character arc is him learning to question authority etc etc. And this isn't even a bad thing; that's a story worth telling! It makes good conflict between him and Serval! And I love that we got Gepard as a boss battle and I get to see him all the time in SU!

But then you look at his character stories and it's like. The complete opposite.

According to his profile, Gepard has already HAD this awakening, long before the Astral Express, and he'd already decided Cocolia sucks. Even outside of his stories, there's a pretty damning readable between him and Pela.

He even disobeyed direct orders right in front of her- he has been disobeying orders for a while now!

So I've decided I'm marrying the two different sides of this into a 1.5k fic-ish thingy, because I think there's some fun potential there with Gepard not trusting Cocolia, but still having to pretend to be a good obedient little soldier.

Anyway. I love to think of it as like. Gepard knows Cocolia has sunk into her apathy. He can see it in her eyes every time he looks at her. She doesn't care. Not about him, not about Pela, not about all his soldiers on the frontlines giving their lives to protect the citizens. And that's... It makes him bristle a bit, but ok. Gepard can deal with this. Even if Cocolia no longer cares, as long as she does her job then it's fine. Having compassion behind an action doesn't matter as much as the action itself. If Cocolia's heart is no longer swayed, then he'll just have to care twice as hard to pick up the slack. He considers it part of his duty as a captain of the guard anyway. It's fine. Gepard can deal with it.

And then, Cocolia starts coming down to the restricted zone. Issuing direct orders.

And Gepard realizes he is in way over his head.

Because Cocolia orders him to stay back and issue commands from the ramparts, away from all his comrades, away from where he can protect them.

Gepard had thought nothing could be as bad as watching a fellow guard die right next to him. But the first time he watches someone struck by a killing blow, so far away, it hurts. Every defensive scar across his arms itches, his fingers curl in want of a weapon, the cold cannot numb his hands enough as they desperately ache for his shield. It hurts.

Gepard tries to find any reason to stay. Because surely... He knows Cocolia has lost her love for her people, but surely... She wouldn't...

One day, Cocolia orders for their gunners to advance 20 yards. There are no survivors. She almost looks like she smiles.

Gepard doesn't sleep that night.

Pela brings him the report at the end of the first month; and then the month after that, and the month after that. A significant uptick in losses, and all of it started on that first day Cocolia started overriding his authority and issuing her own orders. The ends of Gepard's pens have all been nearly chewed off. Pela outright calls Cocolia an idiot, and Gepard corrects her. Cocolia isn't an idiot. Gepard had known her through Serval, knew her through all her college years and then some, and he knows how intelligent she is. It's not that she's stupid, and it's not that she's inexperienced, it's nothing of the sort.

Cocolia knows exactly what she's doing.

She must, there's no way she could make such a horrible mess of things so badly by accident. And Pela, quick as a whip, sharp as a tack, always too smart for her own good, catches onto the meaning behind Gepard's correction without any further prompting. The tent goes deathly quiet, nothing but the wind howling outside.

"...She's trying to kill us," Pela whispers, her voice swiftly suffocated by the silence.

Gepard swallows. He can't bring himself to correct her this time. There is nothing he could say that he would actually mean.

His gaze drops, back down to his desk and the reports on it. The names aren't listed, just the numbers, but Gepard knows them, knew them, and there must be something wrong, something he's missing, because why, why would she-? What could this possibly accomplish-?

“Gepard! Focus!” Something snaps right under his nose, and Gepard startles, eyes instantly honing in on Pela's irritated face as she leans over his desk. She holds his gaze for a moment before she huffs and begins to pace, wedges a knuckle between her teeth and bites like Gepard hasn't seen her do since cadet school.

Pela angrily strides from one end of his tent to the other, words hissed between her grit teeth. “What are we going to do?” In the dim lighting, Gepard can just barely see the damp spot of blood weeping under her gloves. “We need a plan.”

“A plan?”

“Wh- Yes, a plan! Unless you want more people to die!” Pela rounds on him then, all the wrath of a blizzard, winds roaring and snow sharp enough to cut.

“We don't even know-”

“What does it matter?! She killed-!!” Pela cuts off with a garbled noise when Gepard leaps up from his desk, hastily shoves his hand over her mouth. The prosthetic, not the flesh one, because he knows better than to assume Pela won't seize the opportunity to leave teeth marks in his skin.

“You're right. I'm sorry, I'm sorry; you're right. But you need to keep quiet.” Pela quirks an eyebrow at him and Gepard can read the question in her face. “Because we both saw what she did to Serval,” he hisses.

It's amazing the snow plains haven't thawed out yet, the amount of heat Pela can put behind a glare. The mere mention of Serval, and the smoking ruins Cocolia had made of her life and career, have her bristling up like a riled cat. The sudden hot breath she takes fans fog across his metal skin, and Gepard wisely keeps it in place until Pela finally sighs and reaches up, taps her fingertips against the back of his hand.

The second she's free, Pela bats him away and then her knuckle is right back between her teeth again, Gepard leaning back against his desk with his arms crossed to watch her resume her pacing. “If we spread the word, she'll have us discharged and make sure we can't even touch the frontlines,” Pela's voice seethes like an open sore. Gepard nods but keeps his silence. He knows better than to get in her way.

“And if you and I are both out of the picture, Belobog is fucked.” A little harsher than how he would have put it, but there's no denying that they're both important to the city's survival. Pela has the restricted zone running as efficiently as ever, and Gepard had become the youngest captain on record for a reason. “We need to keep this tight under wraps, at least for now… It can't leak to anyone higher up the chain.” Another nod. “Serval might know other discontents…” Another n-

Gepard's head snaps up. “No.”

“No what?”

“No. We're not involving Serval in this.”

Somehow, even the same tone that leaves entire squadrons shaking in their boots has never worked on her. “You're not deciding that for her, Gepard.”

Pela hadn't seen the worst of it, though, back when his sister had just been banned from the Architects. Serval's pride hadn't allowed it. Pela wasn't the one to find her passed out bottle still in hand, hadn't been the one to wash the sick out of her hair or carry her to bed. 

Serval still has trouble thinking clearly when it comes to Cocolia, still can't quite bring herself to be objective. And Gepard maybe doesn't want her to be purely objective- but he would worry a lot less if she thought twice before she acted more often.

“At least let me be the one to bring it up to her.”

“Whatever, fine,” Pela gestures affirmatively at him as she paces past, and Gepard sighs. Good, at least that's one thing he can help.

From there, it's a lot of hemming and hawing and frustration. Cocolia has them under her boot, and Gepard and Pela both know it. Even with the way she's been cracking down on freedoms lately, Cocolia is still, overall, liked by the people. It's unlikely anyone would believe them. They don't even have solid proof, because most people don't know Cocolia as well as they do and won't see the clues in the same light. 

The Fragmentum has been ramping up in recent years, too. Everyone is struggling just to survive as is, they can't afford a fight on two fronts. Gepard is a damn good captain, one of the best for that matter. But they're at a massive disadvantage, his experience is narrowed to fighting a defensive battle against monsters, that's all he's ever done. That's all anyone there has ever done. He has no way of finding first-hand knowledge for taking the offensive against a human opponent, and if he goes at this blind, there's no way he'll get everyone out unscathed. He's going to lose people. He's going to lose a lot of people.

He'd never thought before that Cocolia would have it in her to have someone killed. And with this new knowledge, he has no guarantee she won't go after Serval or Lynx if she decides to retaliate.

Gepard has to remind himself to breathe when he realizes this.

Pela writes down every name the two of them can come up with. Lists and lists of names and groups and anyone they can think of who might be an ally in all of this. They memorize every bit of it, make their plans of who to talk to and when. Gepard watches the sparks reflect off Pela's glasses as they burn the evidence together.

Pela finally leaves, far too late to make it home, but says she wants to stay in the restricted zone anyway to investigate. Gepard watches her make her way in the direction of Dunn's tent, watches her back until she's out of his sight and squashes down the urge to follow and keep an eye on her. His tent feels empty.

In the morning, Gepard is up before the wake up bells. He drags himself out of bed, leads his soldiers through their morning training. The same people gravitate to each other everyday. Friend groups and training partners. There's an ongoing rivalry between a few squadrons that everyone bets on. Some of them have lockets around their necks, keepsakes, mementos. Some of them wear wedding rings.

Gepard is suddenly, painfully aware of something acidic clawing at the inside of his throat, of a heavy weight low in his chest that blooms, takes up room until it threatens to spread his ribs. His mouth tastes of bile and blood.

He rearranges the schedules. Puts himself down for every open patrol into the Fragmentum, makes sure he'll be on the frontlines every single time Cocolia visits.

He only hopes that it's enough.