#life without direction
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#directionless#writing#poems on tumblr#poems and poetry#original poem#poem#lost in haze#life without direction#suffer#no care#carelessness#feeling#need#poetry#poetess#recite something#reciting#tru#corner of tru#writer#writers on tumblr#writingbr#this is a girlblog#idk what else to tag
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I think the two most obvious foils for Ludinus Da'leth across all of Critical Role are Essek and Keyleth, which is both fascinating given how different those two characters are from each other (Essek being a foil in terms of isolation, single-mindedness, harm in the name of ambition, knowledge, and other such wizard themes; Keyleth being a foil in terms of people who have lost something at a young age to the gods and bear resentment for it, political leadership, belief that the world belongs to mortalkind, and longevity) but also it's extremely funny that they both are the partners of Liam's character.
#i could write like a longer piece about it but that kind of sums it up#like. hm. how do i put it.#the thing about essek is like. he like ludinus made some IMMENSELY selfish and harmful choices#but the timeline was SHORT all things considered. ludinus didn't REALLY get going until hundreds of years post-calamity#and he expresses NO regret whereas the vibe with essek in 2x97 is that he's kind of hated himself ever since#and you know. maybe if someone had intervened with ludinus 400 years earlier he'd have done the same. but who would. does he have friends.#the thing about essek haters who aren't just angry shippers is that they all ascribe to ontological evil and yet don't ascribe it to ludinu#meanwhile keyleth is just like...the scope of her pain is somehow both smaller and larger#and yet she's able to see herself as part of a whole and not the center of the world#the fact that power and long life was much more naturally given or earned by her rather than seized is also i think part of it#but keyleth's speech this past episode in particular...it's a direct rebuttal of ludinus's dumb speech in 51#this can be your world without having to kill anyone if you're willing to work and grow and compromise and grieve#cr spoilers#critical role#ludinus da'leth#essek thelyss#keyleth
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spirk using telepathy to keep each other alive. kirk, desperate, psy-null and untrained, reaching clumsily into spock's dying mind and pulling, dragging spock's essence into himself, wrenching him forceably from the very jaws of death and holding him there through sheer strength of will, saying you can't die, i won't let you, you can't leave me, i need you, and binding him to life and to himself until it's impossible to fully separate them. spock, more skilled, carefully managing each one of kirk's vital signs - keeping his heart beating steady, his lungs drawing breath, his temperature within a safe range, all while suppressing kirk's pain, and at the same trying, vainly, to keep their minds from tying themselves inexorably together, but they're pressed too close and he can't, and he hopes that kirk will forgive him, for bonding them like this (he will, of course he will), but the alternative, letting kirk die, was - unthinkable.
#no matter which direction it goes the one who formed the bond feels so guilty about it because That's Marriage & they never got permission#and the other just looks at them and says “i would have married you the day we met if you'd only asked”#it works both ways because they are both so stupidly down bad#i think there's a special sort of devastation with telepathy like this because If They Fail - they have to feel the life drain away#you tie yourself to them and you know that if it doesn't work. if they die. it will feel like your soul has been torn from you#because you're in love! and in order to save them you've taken them into yourself and given yourself over to them#so when they die - they take you too. maybe not ALL of you but certainly part. neither one can die without tearing the other to shreds now#star trek#star trek tos#tos#spirk#james t kirk#spock#jim kirk#k/s#tbh i've got a fic (SLOWLY) cooking which features spock desperately holding kirk to life while bones (panicked) operates on him#(w/ some mcspirk vibes because bones is afraid that if he loses kirk he'll lose spock too but spock refuses to let go)#but i'm such a slow writer so. in the meantime here's this
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Why would they speak in whistles? They don't always. They have a phonetic language for day-to-day interactions, but the whistle-speak lets them communicate across great distances. It's not uncommon to find in cultures before communication technology evolves.
STAR TREK DISCOVERY: 5x06 'Whistlespeak'
#star trek discovery#star trek#michael burnham#sylvia tilly#startrekedit#i love michael nerding out over xenoanthropology#honestly same it's my favourite part of star trek when we learn about new species and cultures#and i just love how this episode dealt with the whole prime directive/pre warp culture#there was an equal amount of respect for their beliefs as well as understanding that they could grasp the concept of alien life beyond thei#planet without giving up on said beliefs
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*points at bruce and danny in 'late at night when the nightingale sings'* THESE TWO MFERS MEAN SO MUCH TO MEEEE
no thoughts head empty just these two socially inept fools finding family in one another. like yes you go you funky little death omens stole that one from a comment on the fic, so if you see this you know who you are, discover that family isn't only tied in blood.
bUT onto less mushy stuff: these two being shenaniganizers; tomfools. Bruce realized that Danny didn't actually know he was Bruce Wayne and instead of going "oh actually im bruce wayne" he went; "hrm... how long can i keep this going until he realizes...."
like. i think they deserve to be the sillies. just utter goobers the both of them. like, danny makes the wittiest side comments, dry quips, under his breath towards Bruce while they're out in public (Danny covering his face with a face mask) and Bruce is trying not to laugh. Meanwhile if Bruce makes one sly comment about someone to Danny, Danny's gonna collapse with laughter.
Bruce plays straightman in most of their bits, he has the best fucking poker face. But also I firmly believe he does actually enjoy Danny's puns. Look me in the eyes- look me in the eyes. Try and tell me that a man that willingly agrees to call a car "the batmobile" even after his eight year old ward grows up (thus negating the need to go along with his antics) doesn't enjoy a good, well-placed pun. Look me in the eyes and try to tell me that. That's right you can't.
He's gonna spit out a well-placed pun in the driest, most boring Batman Voice Ever one day while he's getting ready for patrol, and Danny's gonna fucking die of laughter. He's gonna lose his mind. Bruce is going to have a half-dead sickly teenager laughing his lungs out in the chair. That's a new core memory right there, every time Danny thinks about that he's gonna start giggling.
just!!! these two making each other laugh! That's so important to me. So so much. I nEED Danny to get Bruce to smile and laugh and I need Bruce to make Danny do the same. Danny's all snark and sass and Bruce is all deadpan and dry quips. Do you all see my vision.
#dpxdc#danny fenton is not the ghost king#dp x dc#dpxdc crossover#dp x dc prompt#blood blossom au#firm believer of bruce having a sense of humor. batman being a troll is my favorite thing ever. mister 'i assaulted three [officers]'#they're banned from the kitchen but only when its the two of them unsupervised because they'll make a mess. Danny's not used to working wit#machinery that doesnt spontaneously come to life sometimes and Bruce is Bruce. They tried making a smoothie once and it ended in disaster#there was smushed frozen berries and milk all over the counter and cabinets. it got all over them. the floOR was a slipnslide. danny smelt#like rasp+blackberries all day and so did bruce. the last time they tried to make pancakes together it ended in an impromptu flour fight#flour EVERYWHERe. they both looked like ghosts. Danny started it. he took a glob of the batter and smushed it on Bruce's face.#bruce merely retaliated. that was the incident that got them officially banned from the kitchen without alfred's direct supervision#they can be there individually but not together. that's just spelling trouble#have the vivid mental image of Danny (masquerading as Jackson) looking around Bruce at some other rich socialite with just combination#baffled and deadpan look on his face. before looking up at Bruce and flatly going 'i think we're gonna have to kill this guy Buzz'#and Bruce just takes a sip from his champagne flute. He looks equally unimpressed. And quietly so that only Danny hears him. goes *'fuck'*#except he does it in the Batman Voice. and Danny has to hide his face in the back of Bruce's suit jacket to hide his laughter.#ALL OF THE INSIDE JOKES GUYS. ITS ABOUT THE DOMESTICITY. THE LAUGHTER THE JOY THE GOOD FEELS#*GRIPS YOU BY THE SHOULDERS WITH HEAVY BREATHING* DO YOU UNDERSTAND THE VISION. ITS THE RELEARNING TO LOVE AND BE LOVED
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bitch rewatch it let me help you focus: Logan's body language was (haha) in sync with Wade seconds after that first fight in the Void
#they step forward with the same foot#they turn their head the same moment the same direction#we're not gonna talk about how logan understood wade's cue without much physical or verbal tells during cassandra's lair???????#Logan attunes to Wade's body language HELLA QUICKLY it's so#stfu all his life he'd trained his physical tells and stayed in survival mode that he was SEAMLESS#FLAWLESS in analyzing wade's physical tells believe me#I'M SO UPSET LOGAN IS ACTUALLY SO STRATEGIC AND TACTICAL#AAAAAAAA#deadpool and wolverine#deadpool#wolverine#deadpool 3#logan howlett#wade wilson#poolverine#deadclaws#deadpool 2024#adamantium gays#I HATE HOW MUCH MORE INTIMATE THINGS ARE WITH PHYSICALITY
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y'all ever think abt how it was julie having the affair and it is even said multiple times that she was the one who left him, yet wilson was still the one who left their home and moved in with house. like. he couldn't bear to stay in their home alone. he immediately ran to house and stayed on his couch for weeks. suffered through his pranks and his laziness and his manipulation. telling him he wants him gone while sabotaging his attempts to leave. and he only left once he got a girlfriend again.
#chyanne speaks#house md#hilson#hate crimes md#gregory house#james wilson#i think his inability to be alone is such an interesting quality of his that isnt touched on enough#like yes we all haha at his long string of unsuccessful relationships but we dont talk abt it all stemming from his inability to be alone#his first wife leaves him and then he remarried quickly#he cheats on the second wife and remarries quickly#the third wife cheats on him and leaves him and he immediately moves in with house#and then starts dating a patient and immediately moves in with her#but!!! then he moves into the hotel and is alone for like almost a year! and honestly he NEEDED IT#bc GROWTH happened in that year and he meets someone who doesn't fit his M.O. who breaks away from the mold#although he does immediately move in with her too but still. amber was different. she was the step in the right direction#and then she dies.#and then wilson throws himself into the left field. everything needs to change. he's spent so long fearing being alone.#so he tries to leave so he is completely and totally alone without house to fall back on#but house needs him. he needs him too much. they need each other too much.#and he falls back to house again. and he's content that way. he's always the most content when he's with house. always feels the least alone#and then sam comes back into his life and ruins e v e r y t h i n g#he falls right back onto those old patterns. kicks house out and moves her in. and then what happens??? of course??? she leaves him. again.#and then he's alone again and it hurts. he gets a cat that we only hear about twice and then never gets brought up again#but wilson has his kitty. he has house. he's not alone. he can be content.#and then house fucks everything up. he goes to prison. wilson is alone again.#im honestly SHOCKED that wilson didnt remarry in that year they were apart but he was rly trying to change!#he was working on himself and trying to make changed he thought would be good for him#and then house comes back. and house won't LET wilson be alone. he wont leave him alone.#and it's exactly what wilson has been yearning for since the day he drove that car into cuddys house#and in the end. as long as he had house that was all that mattered. as long as he had house he wasn't alone.
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And remember kids, the next time someone tells you, "George R. R. Martin wouldn't make Jon Snow the typical fantasy hero because that's cliche".....
Oh yes he would!
One viewer wants to know what character would you play (on the show)? GRRM: If I could magically clap my hands and become a different person, it would be cool to play Jon Snow who's much more of the classic hero. Everybody wants to be the classic hero! ABC Interview, 2014
GRRM: And the character I’d want to be? Well who wouldn’t want to be Jon Snow — the brooding, Byronic, romantic hero whom all the girls love. Meduza Interview, 2017
In fact he already has ☺️
#asoiaf#jon snow#yes grrm has criticized neo-tolkein fantasy - a lot!#but like....dpmo#I need so many people in this godforsaken fandom to familiarize themselves with grrm's engagement with the genre#he isn't trying to say “chosen one boy protagonist bad” where tf did people get that???#he's directly trying to challenge the more unsatisfactory elements of lesser copies of tolkien's legendarium#the ones that lift lotr wholesale without actually understanding what makes tolkien's writing snap#at the same time he has admitted himself that he has borrowed from lotr albeit with his own twists#but people in this fandom need to know that ye old man LOVES sword-and-sorcery fantasy#he LOVES a good epic#he LOVES pulp fantasy and sci fi#and those inspirations are directly reflected in asoiaf#the way he's named arthuriana/lotr/MST and many pulp stories with brooding dark heroes as key inspirations#almost all of which have mcs who fall into the typical fantasy hero role#and they inspire elements that are reflected back onto jon more than anyone else in asoiaf#like seoman snowlock = jon (+bran)#frodo - who btw is the mc in lotr not aragorn!! = jon (and bran)#FUCKING KING ARTHUR IS JON SO MUCH SO THAT RLJ IS LITERALLY A 1:1 COPY OF ARTHUR'S BIRTH STORY LIKE??!!!!#anyone who's even a little bit familiar with le morte d'arthur will be like oh yeah jon is literally king arthur like 😭😭#same with anyone who's ready the once and future king - which grrm has directly identified as his fav take on arthurian lit#ntm that jon is based on some of the most prolific characters in arthuriana - percival/galahad/lancelot etc#did you know that there's an iconic sci-fi series whose main character is called Eric JOHN STARK?#well grrm has directly quoted that series and the mc as a foundational book in his life#funny that huh? 🙂#do people even know what tf they're talking about when they say stuff like this???? ajdhhjshsbvshja#grrm engages very heavily with traditional fantasy tropes but he of course provides his own spin on them#never has he said that he's trying to avoid stories with hidden princes or chosen ones as boy protagonists#like someone find me a direct quote of him saying that - but I bet you can't smh
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Hi so to another blog, I sent in the request for gymteacher!patrick but now that I think about it, I feel like he’s one of those adults who secretly hates kids fgccjjjgffhhhj. It’s the whole vibe I got from whenever he was talking to Tashi and Lily was brought up like yeah he could say he feels awkward about the fact those two had a kid…….but I also just feel he hates kids 💀. It’s giving “fuck them kids, and fuck you too!”
ohhh i actually love the gymteacher!patrick hcs you sent @saintzweig. mars ate that up. if you haven’t read that, go do that!!!
i am inordinately fond of the idea that patrick doesn't like children because he can't wrap his mind around them as a concept. a tiny being who is still developing? continually learning about life? dependent on the people around them? it's overwhelming for him to process any of it, but it's all he can think about it in their presence. it also drums up the memories of his own childhood he'd rather forget. feelings he thought he long buried, but persist against his inclination.
so by proxy...i love the idea of elementary school teacher! patrick who took the job because it was his only choice. patrick who has been down on his luck and desperately needs to find a stable source of income, at least for the time being. teaching is not his first choice (and he's damn sure he is going to lose his mind), but it's the only job he could find that pays well. if he's going to be miserable anyway, he reasons he may as well be getting a paycheck out of it.
he goes in, does his job, and leaves. the other teachers are a bore, and he's to uneasy around the children to actually get close with them. ironically, his supposed indifference to the children makes them love him even more. he chocks it up to the childish curiosity of wanting to know more about the new, distant teacher, but the truth? they just like him. they like the way his language isn't filtered and how he mumbles under his breath. even the way he never breaks into that primordially passively assertive voices the other teachers have or never seems to have a solid plan. his behavior is new and captivating, but also makes him feel like an equal. in a way, patrick isn't a teacher they want to impress, but a friend they want to make. so while his goal was to avoid having any of these kids form an attachment to him, he's failed extraordinarily.
not to say he can avoid forming any attachments himself. i mean he sees these kids everyday, it's only natural to feel some sort of connection to them. it doesn't have to mean anything (at least this is what he tells himself). so what if he knows how to tie Lucy's shows the way she likes it when they come undone during soccer. or remembers to remind Aiden to take off his glasses before it's time for dodgeball. he's perceptive with details. basically has something in his head for every student, but wouldn't anyone notice (well again...what he tells himself). he's allowed to take some interest in their lives, learn about what they like or think. it's not a crime, nor does it have to mean anything. this is just a job and he still doesn't like children (he's started to repeat this to himself like a mantra).
the year goes on and his interest expands, much to his displeasure. they're growing on him, he can't deny it. he cares for all of his students, and while the concept of children still makes him uneasy, he's been able to push it down. focus on the joy the kids bring in the moment, rather than what their existence means for him. he enjoys being around all of them. especially the little, quiet kid who doesn't really talk much. always a little behind in gym, but really is sweet. and i mean just wait until he meets you...that kid's mom.
#ask#i took foreverrrr to get to this. i'm so sorry bout that.#i wanted to take this in a bit of a different direction than mars because she has the teacher! patrick x teacher! reader down to a T#i may or may not continue this. depending on what you guys want#also am working on something else patrick zweig and kid related...keep an eye on this space#the awkwardness he feels bout lily relates to the fact that she is living breathing proof that art and tashi have created a life without hi#she's the only aspect of their life he has no connection to whatsoever and that makes him feel at unease. at least that's what i think#patrick zweig#patrick zweig x reader#challengers#josh o'connor
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i am tired of privileged people saying veganism is "too hard" to do. recognize your agency. take responsibility.
#veganism#vegan#privileged' meaning not in a food desert/EDs/allergies up the wazoo that make veganism literally impossible without rlly impacting ur life#majority people from affluent nations have the level of privilege i am talking about#anyways being vegan is one of the simplest direct actions you can do towards bettering this world#the effort:outcome ratio is just unreal.
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Identity reveal shazamily fic idea:
They're fighting some big bad in a huge cave or throne room or in an air pocket miles underwater (the Rock?) and the league and shazamily are all there, every two stuck in separate areas (magic barriers? Cave ins? Enemies simply not letting them close?).
The roof is starting to collapse. Billy catches it, but with his powers divided, he's struggling. With a time limit before he falls, the battle intensifies.
Mary and her jl partner fells her opponent first, and looks across the room just in time to see him stagger under the crushing weight. She cannot reach him (in time?). They meet each others eyes. The wisdom of Solomon, or perhaps Mary batson, has an idea.
In a crash of thunder, she detransforms, in front of their enemies, and the entire justice league.
With power returned, captain marvel stands a bit straighter. The roof grows heavier. Cracks scatter across the high ceiling.
As Mary is carried to safety, the family understands what they must do.
In conjunction with the league member they were trapped with, they work to defeat their opponents, and one by one transform, each time revealing people too small, too young. The crash of thunder marks each victory. Rubble starts to fall and shake the earth as the league members pull their partners to safety, gathering together by the entrance, bandaging their wounds. All eyes are on Marvel, trapped under a great pillar of stone. (They have been working with him for years now, but each of his family has been revealed to be children. Is he, too?) Each time he raises the ceiling a little higher, and each time it grows heavier as the battles and the ticking clock destabilise the thousands of tons above.
At last, the final group win, and exhausted league members piggy back the last child hero over the rubble.
All are evacuated, but Marvel cannot move. Rapid power transfer and hours of stress have taken their toll, and he needs to transform back as well.
Finally, finally, green lantern and superman reach him, and with their help he is freed, collapsing to the side in relief. No one says a word.
With one final lightning strike, the last member of the team is revealed.
He's twelve years old.
And the league needs to take them all to safety.
#The power sharing mechanics of the shazamily is so interesting to me. And so under utilised.#Detransforming. Revealing yourself and by relation your family as a direct way to save your brother#And I do love incredibly strong characters having to hold the sky to save their friends#You're looking them in the eye and they're saving your life by performing this impossible feat and neither of you are moving#Percabeth do it like no other but we can try#Once read a fic where some league members get trapped under a city in a subway or something during an earthquake and marvel holds the#entire roof + ground + skyscrapers above them up for eight hours until the league can find them without moving a muscle.#And every time I think of cap marvel I think of that. Like. What do you even do after that. Where can you go#dc comics#superman#captain marvel#dc captain marvel#billy batson#shazam#shazamily#mary bromfield#pedro pascal#mary marvel#mary batson#freddy freeman#I'm so sorry I don't know the surnames of Darla and Eugene#Fic idea#story prompt#fic prompt#justice league
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I have an interview for a potentially lifestyle changing job tomorrow and I am going to vibrate out of this dimension with the amount of anxiety I am experiencing over it. If you have any to spare, good vibes would be intensely appreciated. Or advice on how to nail a corporate interview. I could use that too.
#it’s shooting way above where I’m at#like if they hire me I’d be skipping past more than a few career rungs which is insane#but it would be amazing for my career and potentially would come with a nice pay raise and I wouldn’t have a direct supervisor anymore#they’d just trust me to do adult professional thing without breathing down my neck#it’s also wfh which would save me a ton of money#just if you can spare a good thought and send it my way that this works out that would be fantastic#life
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Ty for answering my asks! Recently, I saw some fanart of the gender bendered crew and it got me curios, how much would the plot change if Jimmy was a woman. I mean, she would still be emotionally abusive (esp to Fem!Curly), but at lest, I guess, the crash would've never happened (?)
Also, her relationship w/ Anya: if she was assulted still, it prolly would've been dissmissed, since it's between 2 women. Or, if Anya is male in this scenario, he couldn't really be able to talk abt it, since society decided that "women can't r*pe men", so it's not serious and he should suck it up. Man, it's just sucks to be Anya in any scenario my poor girl 😭
What do you think? If you have an opinion on that at all, that is
-💀
I think the scenario's where the gender was flipped or any level of gender based intersectionality is expanded makes it so much more complex.
If this is the scenario with fem!Jimmy, it comes with the territory of questionable internalized homophobia. Does Jimmy brush it off in this scenario because she doesn't think lesbian encounters are real ones? Is she struggling with her identity and taking it out on Anya who may be openly queer compared a fem!Curly who is either straight or just not interested in Jimmy? Perhaps it's a sort of weird entitled that can occur in female dominated spaces "We're both girls, I know what you have, it won't matter." It's still is something I don't see Jimmy denying in this scenario, he never really denies it in canon just talks around it with Curly. Here I can see it's less about the pregnancy and more so about the internalized homophobia. Not seeing Anya as anything but an unwanted aspect of her femineity and the allure of it, there's a lot more objectification of both Curly and Anya in this alteration as I would believe feels better thinking of them in that light if they are just fodder in her mind. Guilty pleasures that no longer bring her such. It's a careful situation because I don't want this to fall into predatory lesbian stereotyping, Jimmy is just a person who does not respect other people or their choice, if it conflict with what he wants or perceived is owed.
The idea of Curly having to report it and outing her not only as a rapist but queer and the denial, especially in the case Anya and Curly are both out as she feels a sort of resentment she can't be secure with herself that way. If it is masc!Curly, there could be the jealousy of him being able to actively pursue relationships he wants while she feels she can't, Anya and Curly playfully flirt, its casual but it's something she longs for in the same way she doesn't. She obsesses over Curly because she wishes she could be Curly in a social sense in both aspect male or female Curly.
If it's fem!Jimmy and masc!Anya? It's a much more delicate situation. In this scenario Jimmy gets pregnant. Maybe Anya does a blood test after the incident and finds out Jimmy is pregnant. It's a very sensitive matter because if it's fem!Curly her first assumption is Anya may have done something. That is just the immediate assumptions in cases like this. I think the fact that Anya is telling her would make Curly think it's not that simple, especially since Jimmy isn't brining it up or really caring but everyone reacts differently. Jimmy is pregnant however, and that's a big deal, she'll figure that out eventually on her own but how will she react? Curly knows it won't be good, Anya knows too.
I think the crash is instigated in this scenerio by fem!Curly actually doing more, refusing to sweep it under the rug because she can conceptualize that fear, likely she and Jimmy are the only girls on board. She trusts everyone, well did trust everyone, but it's just something you live with. She can't just live with that double standard but I feel like she really doesn't know how to address it. How does she bring it up to superiors without implicating Anya? What does she do with Jimmy, it still feels like she's catering to Jimmy but now the concern is primarily focused on the life this baby will be born into. If it is born at all. I don't think Jimmy would try to kill Anya in this concept but try to spin the narrative it was mutual up until she got pregnant. Curly doesn't really buy it but it's a lot of processing, a lot more he said she said but what Jimmy is saying just doesn't make sense. It gives Jimmy too much time to really settle with the fact she's pregnant and likely can't support a kid nor wants to give birth out in space. Jimmy feeling like she's being othered from the only other woman could also be a factor, maybe even starting into her thinking Curly is behaving like a "pick-me" for siding with a guy over her. The crash is more spiteful in terms of having to protect herself alone, due to Curly not outright supporting her delusions.
It really adds a certain horror to Jimmy's pregnancy hallucinations because after the crash they are about her, her symptoms the sign of showing. She doesn't want the child either and considering what being pregnant can do to your mental/physical state, especially some of the more negative symptoms, I doubt she is handling it well. A lot of Anya's struggles are with the stigmas around male victims. His body reacted so did he want it? He's gonna be a father and courts likely will make him pay or care for the baby even if they take Anya's side, their world is just like that. Would the other's blame him for not doing more, he is a man after all? Should he be considered lucky a woman was that into him? It's eating away at him because not only does he not feel safe, he actively blames himself.
In the case Curly is still a cis guy, its that weird feeling guys often get when talking about male victims of assault. I don't think he'd victim blame but he likely asks or thinks about how it could've happened, why wouldn't Anya just overpower Jimmy? Maybe he couldn't? Maybe Anya didn't have it in him to strike a woman. He wouldn't. Now he thinks of what he would have done if Jimmy did something like that to him. SImilary to my trans!Curly post, he's wondering if it could've been him. It's likely one of the first times in his life he has to think of that type of vulnerability in terms of himself and other men and against likely his girl best friend. I think that arm pat right before Jimmy crashes the ship would really make him feel weird, not like he'd have the time to really dig into those feeling but y'know WERE GONNA CRASH!!!.
In terms of Jimmy and Curly's specific relationship, it just gets messier if they aren't both guys or girls. There's a lot of misogny on Jimmy's side with fem!Curly. He often points out she's a woman captain or makes a point of her being one of the few independent woman in her field and how certain men hate that. It's insidious but Curly doesn't think about or like to cause she likes to believe Jimmy isn't one of those guys. He can be a bit antiquated, maybe a bit of a pig but no ones perfect! Here a lot of his resentment is more gear toward a woman having that power over him as Captain/filling the typical male roles he fails at. He can't stand that she's above him in almost aspect and he likely takes it out on other women. Similarly, fem!Jimmy and cis Curly is just as bad. It's a fact of not knowing if she wants to be him, wants him or wants to destroy him. It's obsession without anything positive. She feels entitled to his space and life and time and he has a hard time setting up boundaries cause, well, Jimmy's a girl, his bestfriend and it comes with all the stigmas around boygirl best friends. To him it's a sort of oppressive doting, he feels wrong telling her not to pick and like he's being controlling. That's how she'd spin it whenever he'd try to make boundaries with her.
They are still just friends but most people can't tell even if they can tell it's not healthy, in both cases. Either way I feel like if they were opposite genders to each other there would a specific infatuation Jimmy would have with Curly that would be less hidden but sort of unaddressed because the idea of Curly rejecting them would make them lash out in a way Curly may just leave for their safety. It's also Jimmy wouldn't want to be with Curly specifically but just want what would consistently provide/available.
If they are both girls, its envy. It's that sort of hate that someone fits the standards you don't, wanting them to be picked second or crack. She likes to get into Curly's head, point out flaws and act like it's just her being helpful. She wants Curly to be a girls girl but only for her. There's a sort of possessiveness like purposely jeopardizing relationships because why would a man come first? That girl hates me and is a pick me, why are you friends with her still, Curly? Like this is silly but think about how Regina George treats Gretchen Wieners and that's effectively how fem!Curly and fem!Jimmy would work but technically Curly has the sway of Regina.
I believe the crash would always happen. Jimmy would try to escape responsibility or really thinking about what they did in any world, any gender. It's about facing the consequences, losing things he refuses to let go of or having to deal with responsibilities he's not ready for. The switching of sex or gender really doesn't change those core aspects.
#this is long cause theres so many ideas to play with here and how jimmy and Curly would work but the specifc things happening with Anya#like if she wasnt pregnant thats a relief but its the sort of situation where she has to think about her own sexuality in the scenerio shes#queer and how Jimmy affect her. Its addressing it with Curly who may get it but maybe she gets it too much maybe its hard to hear about Jim#cause for all she knew Jimmy was straight and now she has to think of all the odd conversations and nights they shared beds and maybe#feelings she had but she has to focus on putting Anya first but what does she do? Outing someone is bad but this can be dismmised?#Would the pony express just punish both anya and jimmy and curly what if theres a dont ask dont tell policy? what if they dont care cause#they are all women. its not an issue if its just girls not getting along after “experimenting”. Back to male Anya and female Jimmy they wil#assume it was consensual and anya just doesnt want the kid often that is pushed on male rape narratives. Jimmy is pregnant and on edge#does Curly also have to factor in the child? I feel like the feast scene would be Jimmy delusionally thinking Curly is helping support the#child i mean he is the most well off the bread winner he puts food on the table he is the food! Would polle being Anya talk about how Jimmy#doesnt have it in her to foster a child to support one emotionally without damage? Why so focused on making Curly the idealized male#or provider in her life when she went after him? For female Curly is it envy that she did this to herself and Curly has even more prospects#than her now? What if Anya was fawning because he didn't want the kid but hated the idea of Jimmy killing it to spite him? Or perhaps using#it as a means of control because even if he doesn't want it i doubt he wants it to be punished or abused. It is a burden something no one#wanted but it is being fostered five months in and Jimmys showing a bump and Anya cant ignore all the implications of it being born to her#maybe he kills himself to avoid living in a world its subjected to that pain to to save himself from it. GOD the pills with Curly are worse#for male Anya fem!Curly because its so much more direct he cant shove something down a womans throat who is clearly unwilling it makes#him feel like Jimmy to watch her struggle against him and he cant do it and with Jimmy it is so much more direct about a mother feeding#theri child and abusing it like the nuance if any gender flipping was canon would tear this fandom apart now imma thinking crazy about this#thanks skull anon like really ur asks get me thinking#mouthwashing#mouthwashing game#💀 anon#ask#curly mouthwashing#jimmy mouthwashing#captain curly#nurse anya#anya mouthwashing
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biggest downside of not having many experiences or meeting many people is not having anything to feed into the art machine
#i think this is what i really mean when i say i dont have the artist's mind#i like drawing and am learning to enjoy how i draw#but beneath the lines i dont really know how to make anything meaningful#i wish i could experience the brain of another artist for this reason like#i didnt do much as a kid didnt watch or play many things didnt meet many people i read quite#a bit but nothing really stuck never learned much in school bc id always just draw#is this why i have nothing even now at 26 living almost the same life?#i cant cobble together a story or background for my characters i cant make stuff that Means anything#i always talk also about how i fear finding a partner bc my stuff is just 99% self indulgent sanity keeping work#idk what id make without the lonely#i dont even know what to make With the lonely but its all thats here#<- this part is only barely related but theres a connection there ykwim#talkys#ive never felt anything good or bad in either direction...not much to draw from ...#i know i dont NEED my ocs to have roles in a novel but it just gets embarrassing at some point#ppl take interest in talon and i cant put together anything interesting there's nothing in my brain#i cant connect threads i cant think outside of the box#alas! alas#i think its just always going to be one of those immutable things 😞 too late to rewire rhe brain#especially since the monotony and captivity is ongoing.#goodnite ^_^
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Huntlow situationship gives me such intense brain termites you don't get it
#no i dont think its because Hunter needs time to heal first#i think if it was up to Hunter they would plunge into a committed romantic relationship immediately after the events of the finale#he would propose to her in like. 3 months probably#i know that sounds intense but i think this is what ''i literally died and came back to life'' mania does to a guy#he is so carpe diem minded hes become a little insane. he wants everything#no more waiting around. no more hesitating. he cant afford to do that anymore#would it have been the wise decision to enter a romantic relationship immediately#who's to say. but Hunter would have done it without thinking about it#its Willow that makes the decision to slow down and wait a while before they make any committments theyre not ready for#i dont think she's entirely learned her lesson about letting herself be emotionally reliant every once in a while#shes made progress but the events of ftf were such heat of the moment responses#once things are semi-stable she still needs to adapt to acknowledging that her feelings for Hunter are like. serious. and scarily intense#so like. yea Willow is slamming her pedals on the breaks for both their sakes. shes thinking about how this would effect Hunter too#but also. she scawwed.#when Willow tells him she wants to talk and she's like ''i think we should just be friends'' oh the face he makes is DEVASTATED#he didnt expect it was going in this direction at all. but like. once Willow explains how this is the most reasonable decision for now#he DOES agree. he understands what shes saying and he agrees that it's the best decision to take a breather before they jump into a romance#anyway even when theyre not officially dating the flirting continues insistently. they are very obsessed with each other and cant stop#Willow keeps trying to insist to herself that its just messing around. nothing serious. they find each other hot. its fine to kiss a little#but Hunter makes it very hard when he looks at her with big brown labrador eyes. looks at her like shes the entire world#i think if it was up to Willow they would have been trapped in that uncertain limbo forever. shes too scared to take the plunge#even if she wants to. she badly wants to#but Hunter just wont let that happen. every so often he says ''im ready whenever you are''#he makes his intentions very known. he is not the shy boy from Camila's house anymore#Willow cant just playfully flirt with him without worrying that hes gonna reciprocate. he talks now. he expresses himself#shes a little afraid of that. but she adores it too. he makes her feel safe but also he wont let her stay in this comfort zone#hes giving her the push she needs to pursue this relationship. gives her to push to feel like she can go after what she wants#because god knows HE knows what he wants#they make me so insane
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tomboy trans girls ily <3 by the law of equivalent exchange, there's got to be a masculine trans woman out there that i switched places with gender-wise. hope she's doing well
#in all seriousness it was trans women who made me finally get out of denial about my own transness#i kept writing off trans men from being Really Men bc i thought every woman hated womanhood and being female‚ and just suffered through#bc society brainwashes you into gender conformity#and ''well‚ i may as well deal with this horrible lot in life'' which is what i thought everybody else also thought#but trans women very obviously were NOT brainwashed by society into wanting to be and enjoying being female. so clearly there was something#wrong with that assumption i had made....#and also‚ with how much people insist you're ''saying women can't be masculine without really being men‚'' it was great to find out#that i don't have to worry about there being less butch women in the world‚ bc there are many trans women who actually love and enjoy being#masc AS WOMEN‚ and i don't need to force myself to be that bc there are people out there who really do want that for themselves‚ despite#everything society tells them#and ofc cis women can be and are butch as well but I'll always feel much more of a connection with masc trans women#bc we're both masculine and trans‚ even though they're obviously going in the opposite direction to me#mtf#transfem#transgender#transsexual#trans#o.
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