#leave the actual real life people they infantilize alone

[whumpfish]

You are so right, OP. I have been going absolutely out of my mind seeing the rampant ableism that has invaded my community. I was quiet at first. A lot of us were. A lot of us didn't rock the boat because a lot of us are disabled and life has taught us that rocking the boat gets you thrown out of it, and this has been our last refuge.

Recently I've started going off in the notes, making polite suggestions in posts. Losing my temper sometimes but never rocking the boat too hard. And when I do speak I see things like "glad someone put this into words." Because we oldbies are used to being shouted down and talked over. We're literally here because we go through it every day irl. Some of us built a bamboo raft and quietly cut the line--and I do not blame those who did, it's fucking pavlovian at this point--and the rest have been biting our tongues when the tongues that need to get bitten aren't ours.

But you're right. Tolerance is not a moral absolute; it is a peace treaty. I'm an historian. I know better than most what comes of peace treaties built on tolerance turning into policies of appeasement. I am done being fair to unfair voices. My responses will be posts and reblogs, my notes simply author's notes.

Thank you, OP, for putting this into words.

[tombfreak]

ASPD and being a "bad person"

the backhanded support for aspd

There's a very backhanded type of support for people with ASPD. In attempts to get moral highground and fight against the demonization/stigmatization of the disorder, it's almost entirely watered down to "Oh you just lack empathy and have mean thoughts :)". It's entirely infantilized to the point where people who actually exhibit their real symptoms are just "bad people", or "using their disorder as an excuse for their bad behaviour" because "that's not what ASPD is actually like!!"

Moralizing disorders does nothing but cause harm to people suffering from mental health issues. You cannot cherry pick which presentations of ASPD are deemed acceptable when the whole disorder revolves around being and doing socially unacceptable things.

"It's ok if you lack empathy!" Is the only support I really see for ASPD, which is true, but only if we don't have empathy in ways that they think is acceptable.

I don't have empathy for people of colour, or people with disabilities, or trans folk. My empathy can't just turn on for people who I know deserve it. I can't relate to their struggles, I can't feel for them, I can't even really care. And lacking the empathy required for me to feel these things towards others is exactly what causes me issues in my life. It's socially unacceptable. It's dysfunctionally anti-social.

But thats very much the tip of the iceberg. Lacking empathy isn't even in the DSM-5 criteria for ASPD, and a lot of people with ASPD do experience empathy in their own way.

There's also the issue of "it's ok to be angry, it's ok to have mean thoughts, as long as you don't act on them" or "it's ok to not care, as long as you pretend you do" or "it's ok if you lack empathy as long as you're compassionate"

The issue is that people with ASPD are only supported and accepted if they're in a place where they can conform to prosocial behaviour, which is incredibly difficult to do and does require a degree of recovery. And not a lot of people are willing, or able to, get to that point in recovery.

If you say you support people with mental health issues, then you need to accept the part that actively causes problems as well, even if it makes you uncomfortable. You can't just love the "antisocial personality" and hate the "disorder".

People with ASPD will act in ways that makes them a morally "bad person". That's the entire premise of the disorder. If you water it down to the point where the person suffering has to be good and follow your social standards, then that's not an anti-social disorder anymore.

And I know it's hard to stomach people with ASPD sometimes, especially if they're not in recovery at all. We can be mean, insensitive, aggressive, insulting, morally skewed, or just a complete asshole in general. We can say unacceptable things, we can do wrong, and we're prone to it. You don't have to like someone to support them.

Supporting someone with mental health issues doesn't mean you have to like what they do, or who they are, or be friends with them. You're allowed to remove someone from your life if they're causing issues in yours. Supporting someone with mental health issues means you are able to leave them alone, and not go out of your way to shame them for things currently out of their control.

Yes, recovery is very important, but trust me as a recovering addict and someone with ASPD, you cannot force someone to be better. All they need is to know that they have room to breathe and grow. Support is giving people the space to do that. Backhanded 'support' is saying that you'll let them have that space but only if they currently fit in to your personal standards.

[prodigal-explorer]

specific things i’ve seen tss fans do that make me hate this fandom:

(disclaimer: a lot of this fandom is great but oh my lord i just have to show some of y’all how your behavior affects others because it’s atrocious)

please read this guys because chances are you or someone you know has done at least one of these things because they’re so rampant in this fandom it’s crazy-

1. sending death threats and calling somebody a “boot licker” and a “d-rider” for defending thomas’ silence about the war. like he shouldn’t be saying anything about the war unless he knows enough to have authority on it??? he’s a privileged white man who lives in a place where the war is not taking place. what productive thing would he be able to say about the war?? leave the man alone, he’s not a politician or a military general. if he did say something, it would probably be misinformation. stop acting like you’re some saint because you’re using bullying tactics to make yourself feel more woke.

2. writing aggressive posts about stuff thomas does that is not an issue. what i mean is that he does deserve to be called out if he fucks up (like the whole thing with underpaying his employees), but i saw a post where someone was using super aggressive language because thomas said he was “being delusional” in a short and someone was on their high horse about how thomas was “being insensitive to people who have mental disorders that involve delusions.” like…please go outside. anyone can have a delusion. and if thomas does make a REAL mistake that actually matters, there are better ways to go about it than spewing hate and name calling. he tries very hard and actively patches up mistakes as well as he can, which is more than what can be said about most cis white male celebrities.

3. blatant racism. i’ve been told by white people that my views on poc headcanons are wrong. like i’m a poc??? i would know more than you??? and i try to be nice about it?? so don’t attack me for saying that there’s nothing wrong with race headcanons as long as they’re done in a respectful way? or that just because roman speaks spanish one time doesn’t automatically make him latino and that’s actually a pretty racist assumption? just trust poc fanders. WE KNOW WHAT WE ARE TALKING ABOUT BECAUSE WE EXPERIENCE RACISM ON A DAILY BASIS. white people will never know what it’s like. so stop acting like it. that’s a huge issue in this fandom.

4. a LOT of aphobia. there’s this concept going around that’s like “oh the sides could be ace because they’re not human so they don’t get romance!” like…babes let’s step back and look that over…cuz ace people aren’t ace because they don’t “understand” sex. that’s infantilizing and dehumanizing. it’s possible to be ace just because you don’t want sex in a conventional way. the sides are not a vessel for your aphobia.

5. SO MUCH RUDENESS WHEN IT COMES TO CHARACTER CRITICISM. the amount of death threats i’ve gotten just because i hate patton??? like PLEASE. i’m allowed to hate a character!! i have trauma and patton reminds me of horrible people in my life who did horrible things to me! he’s like a carbon copy of them in my mind! and even if i didn’t have trauma, it would still be valid because patton is a flawed character! there is nothing bad or wrong about dissecting a character’s unkind actions??? that’s just basic analysis. like i ADORE roman and you don’t see me wishing death upon people who don’t like him??? i just block and move on or i hear them out!! because discussion about the flaws of a character you like isn’t a personal attack!!! people NEED to get that in their heads cuz it’s so frustrating when people take it so personally and actively seek it out just to get mad at it.

[jackmischief]

This shouldn’t be a hot take but I’ve seen it brought up a million times on reddit so I’m gonna process my thoughts about it over here.

Lots of people are excited to see just how bad the hotel residents are. I’m talking about the people in the hard either/or camps of “Hell has to be bad-bad because it would suck if just self-destructive behavior means permanent torture” and “x character has to have done worse things because the fandom infantilizes them.” To use the prime example: Angel Dust.

His mob background seems to inspire the assumption that he killed people in the living world, a notion probably fueled by the fact that he gets so much glee out of killing sinners on screen. I’m just gonna float real quick— do people really think every single mafioso killed people?

Cut because I’m gonna rant.

He was the don’s son for fuck’s same, and reportedly not the only or even the eldest one. I’m highly dubious to think he was doing more than robberies, cons, and maybe taking part in some beatdowns. He probably knew how to use a variety of weapons he was taught growing up, but why everyone assumes he killed anyone — let alone on purpose — seems like a misunderstanding of the scope of “jobs” within organized crime.

Anyway my actual point is that saying everyone in Hell must have done specifically deplorable things is missing the point of our cast’s stated, actively explored sins: gluttony and greed.

You don’t have to kill people to hurt others or ruin other people’s lives. We don’t know what Angel’s Family was in; it could’ve been drugs (and maybe he partook of their own supply), arms (likely, would at least lend MORE credence to assuming he’s killed living world people), gambling (laws around that were messy and exploitable in the first half of the 20th century and gambling dens were more common during & after Prohibition), racketeering (classic)…

I think some it is people being frustrated at characters getting woobified (i.e. Alastor, Angel), but expecting everyone’s crimes to suddenly be a hundred times worse than what has already been presented is sort-of missing the point of things. “If He’ll is forever, then Heaven must be a lie” absolutely applies here: maybe greed and gluttony are bad enough to warrant some punishment, but not permanent torture, and something in the afterlife system is broken to keep filling Hell with people whose sins don’t match that severity.

Personally, i think it’s a hundred times more compelling to see people with “lesser” sins than murder seek help and see the damage their actual sins HAVE done. I would rather see a The Good Place-style problem, where life getting so complicated meant suddenly most people were doing so-called unforgivable things because life really wasn’t leaving them with other choices like it might have thousands of years ago. I bet thousands of years ago sinners really WERE usually Very Very Very Bad, but as the turnover of billions of lives and industrialism and [frankly] the stranglehold of colonialism and capitalism moved along, people were more likely to be “quantifiably” Bad.

I don’t think Angel or Husk or even Sir Pentious had to be killers to land in Hell. I think being angry people woobie Angel is a fucking terrible reason to hope he was “worse” than drug addicted and self-destructive, just like saying Angel having been a mafioso is a really weak reason to assume he killed people.

Anyway I’m also hung up on the fact that there’s a Heaven Embassy at all if there was never supposed to be redemption. Seems like a bizarre and unnecessary thing for Heaven to do — put a massive front lobby and a SIGN-IN sheet in a building that suspiciously reminds of a train station or waiting area — if all they were ever planning to do was Exterminations. Convinced somebody lied to the High Seraphim about the severity of any “uprising” even though we obviously have two contradictory understandings of how the Exterminations started/were permitted anyway and that’s 100% on purpose for plot reasons.

Also alarmed by one take I saw by Vivziepop haters. Someone was like “lol no one knowing what gets you into heaven makes no sense it’s bad writing” and weirdly the response being “its just vivziepop’s excuse to woobify hell” and that’s a mess of what the actual fuck on so many levels. Mostly the “I really think media literacy has tanked if y’all not liking or understanding the way forward with a very reasonable and FULLY EXPLORABLE plot point like that means bad writing” and a little bit the “literally how are those points related and buddy what fucking ‘woobified’ hell are you seeing???”

[tarobytez]

disability in the Six Of Crows Duology; an analysis of Kaz Brekker, Wylan Van Eck, and the fandom’s treatment of them.

****Note: I originally wrote this for a tiktok series, which im still going to do, but i wanted to post here as well bc tumblr is major contributor to what im going to talk about

CW: ableism, filicide, abuse

In the Six of Crows duology, Leigh Bardugo delicately subverts and melds harmful disability tropes into her narrative, unpacking them in a way that I, as a disabled person, found immensely refreshing and…. just brilliant. 

But what did you all do with that? Well, you fucked it up. Instead of critically looking at the characters, y’all just chose to be ableist. 

For the next few videos paragraphs im going to unpack disability theory (largely the stuff surrounding media, for obvious reasons) and how it relates to Six Of Crows and the characterization of Kaz Brekker and Wylan Van Eck, then how, despite their brilliant writing, y’all completely overlooked the actual text and continuously revert them to ableist cariactures.

Disclaimer: 1. Shocker - i am disabled. I have also extensively researched disability theory and am very active in the disabled community. Basically, I know my shit. 2. im going to be mad in these videos this analysis. Because the way y’all have been acting has been going on for a long ass time and im fuckin sick of it. I don’t give a shit about non-disabled feelings, die mad

Firstly, I’m going to discuss Kaz, his play on the stereotypical “mean cripple” trope and how Bardugo subverts it, his cane, and disabled rage. Then, I am going to discuss Wylan, the “inspiration porn” stereotype, caregivers / parents, and the social model of disability. Finally, I will then explain the problems in the fandom from my perspective as a disabled person, largely when it comes to wylan, bc yall cant leave that boy tf alone.

Kaz Brekker

Think of a character who uses a cane (obviously not Kaz). Now, are they evil, dubiously moral, or just an asshole in general? Because nearly example I can think of is: whether it be Lots’O from Toy Story, Lucius Malfoy, or even Scrooge and Mr.Gold from Once Upon A Time all have canes (the last two even having their canes appear less and less as they become better people)

The mean/evil cripple trope is far more common than you would think. Villains with different bodies are confined to the role of “evil”. To quote TV Tropes, who I think did a brilliant job on explaining it “The first is rooted in eugenics-based ideas linking disability or other physical deformities with a "natural" predisposition towards madness, criminality, vice, etc. The Rule of Symbolism is often at work here, since a "crippled" body can be used to represent a "crippled" soul — and indeed, a disabled villain is usually put in contrast to a morally upright and physically "perfect" hero. Whether consciously on the part of the writer or not, this can reinforce cultural ideas of disability making a person inherently inferior or negative, much in the same way the Sissy Villain or Depraved Homosexual trope associate sexual and gender nonconformity with evil. ”

Our introduction to Kaz affirms this notion of him being bad or morally bankrupt, with “Kaz Brekker didn’t need a reason”, etc. This mythologized version of himself, the “bastard of the barrel” actively fed into this misconception. But, as we the audience are privy to his inner thoughts, know that he is just a teenager like every other Crow. He is complex, his disability isn’t this tragic backstory, he just fell off a roof. It’s not his main motivation, nor does he curse revenge for making him a cripple - it is just another part of who he is. 

His cane (though the shows version fills me with rage but-) is an extension of Kaz - he fights with it, but it has a purpose. Another common thing in media is for canes to be simply accessories, but while Kaz’ cane is fashionable, it has purpose.

The quote “There was no part of him that was not broken, that had not healed wrong and there was no part of him that was not stronger for having been broken.” is so fucking powerful. Kaz does not want nor need a cure - its said in Crooked Kingdom that his leg could most likely be healed, but he chooses not to. Abled-bodied people tend to dismiss this thought as Kaz being stubborn but it shows a reality of acceptance of his disability that is just, so refreshing.

In chapter 22 of SOC, we see disabled rage done right - when he is called a cripple by the Fjerdan inmate, Kaz is pissed - the important detail being that he is pissed at the Fjerdan, at society for ableism, not blaming it on being disabled or wishing he could be normal. He takes action, dislocating the asshole’s shoulder and proving to him, and to a lesser extent, himself, that he is just as capable as anyone else, not in spite of, but because he is disabled. And that is the point of Kaz, harking back to the line that “there was no part of him that was not stronger for having been broken”. 

I cried on numerous occasions while reading the SOC duology, but the parts I highlighted in this section especially so. I, as many other disabled people do, have had a long and tumultuous relationship with our disability/es, and for many still struggle. But Kaz Brekker gave me an empowered disabled character who accepts themselves, and that means the world to me. 

Keeping that in mind, I hope you can understand why it hurts so much to disabled people when you either erase Kaz’s disability (whether through cosplay or fanfiction), or portray him as a “broken boy uwu”, especially implying that he would want a cure. That flies in the face of canon and is inherently fucking ableist. (if u think im mad wait until the next section)

Next, we have Wylan.  

Oh fucking boy. 

I love Wylan so fucking much, and y’all just do not seem to understand his character? Like at all? Since this is disability-centric, I’m not going to discuss how the intersection of his queerness also contributes to these issues, but trust me when I say it’s a contributing factor to what i'm going to say.

Wylan, motherfucking Van Eck. If you ableist pricks don’t take ur fucking hands off him right now im going to fight you. I see Wylan as a subversion another, and in my opinion more insidious stereotype pf disabled people - inspiration porn.

Cara Liebowitz in a 2015 article on the blog The Body Is Not An Apology explains in greater detail how inspiration porn is impactful in real life, but media is a major contributing factor to this reality. The technical definition is “the portrayal of people with disabilities as inspirational solely or in part on the basis of their disability” - but that does not cover it fully. 

Inspiration porn does lasting damage on the disabled community as it implies that disability is a negative that you need to “overcome” or “triumph” instead of something one can feel proud of. It exploits disabled people for the development of non-disabled people, and in media often the white male protagonist. Framing disability as inherently negative perpetuates ideals of eugenics and cures - see Autism $peaks’ “I Am Autism” ad. Inspiration porn is also incredibly patronizing as it implies that we cannot take care of ourselves, or do things like non-disabled people do. Because i stg some of you tend to think that we just sit around all day wishing we weren’t disabled. 

Another important theory ideal that is necessary when thinking about Wylan is the experience of feeling like a burden simply for needing help or accommodations. This is especially true when it comes to familial relationships, and internalized ableism.

The rhetoric that Wylan’s father drilled into his head, that he is “defective”, “a mistake”, and “needs to be corrected”, that he (Jan) was “cursed with a moron for a child” is a long held belief that disabled people hear relentlessly. And while many see Van Eck’s attempted murder of Wylan as “preposturous” and overall something that you would never think happens today - filicide (a parent murdering their child) is more common than you would like to believe. Without even mentioning the countless and often unreported deaths of disabled people due to lack of / insufficient / neglectful medical care, in a study on children who died from the result of household abuse, 40 of 42 of them (95%) were diagnosed with disabilities. Van Eck is not some caricature of ableist ideals - he is a real reflection on how many people and family members view disability. 

Circling back to how Wylan unpacks the inspiration porn trope - he is 3 dimensional, he is not only used to develop the other characters, he is just *chefs kiss* Leigh, imo, put so much love and care into the creation of Wylan and his story and character growth that is representative of a larger feeling in the disabled community. 

That being said, what you non-disabled motherfuckers have done to him.

The “haha Wylan can’t read” jokes aren’t and were not funny. Y’all literally boiled down everything Wylan is to him being dyslexic. And it’s like,,,, the only thing you can say about him. You ignore every other part of him other than his disability, and then mock him for it. There’s so much you can say about Wylan - simping for Jesper, being band kid and playing the fuckin flute, literally anything else. But no, you just chose to mock his disability, excellent fucking job!

Next up on “ableds stfu” - infantilization! y’all are so fucking condescending to Wylan, and treat him like a fucking toddler. And while partly it is due to his sexuality i think a larger portion is him being disabled. Its in the same vein of people who think that Wylan and Jesper are romantically one sided, and that Jesper only kind of liked Wylan, despite the canon evidence of him loving Wylan just as much. You all view him as a “smol bean”, who needs protecting, and care, when Wylan is the opposite of that. He is a fucking demolitions expert who suggested waking up sleeping men to kill them - what about that says “uwu”. You are treating Wylan as a burden to Jesper and the other Crows when he is an immensely valuable, fully autonomous disabled person - you all just view him as damaged. 

And before I get a comment saying that “uhhh Wylan isn’t real why do you care” while Wylan may not be real, how you all view him and treat him has real fucking impacts and informs how you treat people like me. If someone called me an “uwu baby boy” they’d get a fist square in the fucking jaw. Fiction informs how we perceive the world and y’all are making it super fucking clear how you see disabled people. 

Finally, I wanted to talk about how the social model of disability is portrayed through Wylan. For those who are unaware, the social model of disability contrasts the medical model, that views the disability itself as the problem, that needs to be cured, whereas the social model essentially boils down to creating an accommodating society, where disability acceptance and pride is the goal. And we see this with Wylan - he is able to manage his father’s estate, with Jesper’s assistance to help him read documents. And this is not out of pity or charity, but an act of love. It is not portrayed as this almighty act for Jesper to play saviour, just a given, which is incredibly important to show, especially for someone who has been abused by family for his disability like Wylan, that he is accepted. 

Yet, I still see people hold up Jesper on a pedestal for “putting up with” Wylan, as if loving a disabled person deserves a fucking pat on the back. It’s genuinely exhausting trying to engage with a work I love so much with a fandom that thinks so little of me and my community. It fucking shows. 

Overall, Leigh Bardugo as a disabled person wrote two incredibly meticulous and empowered disabled characters, and due to either lack of reading comprehension, ableism, or a quirky mix of both, the fandom has ignored canon and the experiences of disabled people for…. shits and giggles i guess. And yes, there are issues with the Grishaverse and disability representation - while I haven’t finished them yet so I do not have an opinion on it, people have been discussing issues in the KOS duology with ableist ideals. This mini series was no way indicative of the entire disabled experience, nor does it represent my entire view on the representation as a whole. These things need to be met critically in our community, and talked about with disabled voices at the forefront. For example, the limited perspective we get of Wylan and Kaz being both white men, does not account for a large portion of the disabled community and the intersection of multiple identities.

All-in-all, Critique media, but do not forget to also critique fandom spaces. Alternatively, just shut the fuck up :)

happy fucking disability pride month, ig

[queercodedmoss]

little ableist things (microaggressions?) the mcyt community does to its creators:

wilbur infodumping is not weird. it’s not annoying. and he’s not weird for whatever topic hes hyperfixated on. he also not weird for irrational and inexplicable hatred towards things. that’s just how being ND works sometimes. also, he’s obviously uncomfortable talking about being diagnosed or talking about showing ND traits. stop mentioning it in donos and chat.

techno is not emotionless and completely monotone. he very genuinely isn’t, his voice is just deep. his tone actually fluxates a lot when he’s speaking, and he absolutely shows how he feels. he emotes fine, you’re just ignoring it. also, he probably has RSD, which is rejection sensitive dysphoria, a common thing for ADHD folks. it would explain why he tends to passively resolve drama (privating old videos, doing a charity stream, etc) instead of confronting it and apologizing. it doesn’t give him an excuse, but it offers an explanation.

dream doesn’t need a caretaker for his ADHD, stop trying to assign george the role like it’s a cute romantic trope. it isn’t. its gross. he’s a functioning adult. stop infanitilizing him for showing ND traits. and when hes vocal stimmed before (on an old george stream, on tommy’s stream) people were so fucking weird. also, stop reducing dream to his ADHD, he’s a whole person that exists outside of neurodivergency. him being ND doesn’t exclude him from having to own up to mistakes, stop trying to give him excuses. let him grow.

tubbo doesn’t need a caretaker in ranboo/tommy. when they correct his spelling it isn’t “aww cute look at them looking out for tubbo”. and when tubbo messes up spelling it’s isn’t “aw adorable”. that’s infantilizing. it’s just dyslexia bro, stop being weird. you guys make it sound like it’s a trait that’s attractive to you and it’s weird as hell. tubbo isn’t a soft childish person, stop trying to make him into one because he’s dyslexic.

ranboo repeating phrases/words or stuttering, or having any irregular speech pattern, is not something he needs to correct, nor is it something you should attempt to correct him on. it’s just how he speaks. leave it alone. it’s actually super engaging for ND folks to listen to.

karl has said he’s ND before and people ignore it for some reason. i can’t even begin to touch on all the ways people infanatalize karl dude. i really cant. also, for the dumbass who said “he’s just on the spectrum” on twitter, the autism spectrum is not a sliding scale from functional to nonfunctional. it’s more like a web graph of different strengths and things that are impacted. he literally shows ND traits all the time, like constantly moving, playing with his hands, etc.

tommy hasn’t said anything about being ND, but he does have ND traits so i’ll include him here. him being loud and having bursts of energy isn’t annoying. him talking fast isn’t annoying. him making noise constantly isn’t annoying. he’s probably hyperverbal. tommy has very little filter which is also an ND trait. all of the things people hate tommy for are reduced to traits used to diagnose ADHD.

my point is, our community is not great to neurodivergent creators.

people are so ready to support neurodivergency and educate themselves until ND people show traits in real life. you’re all fine when it’s people behind a screen talking about their experiences, but when real life people show those traits you’ve read about online, you find it annoying.

and maybe i should’ve phrased some of it better than “it’s not annoying” because yeah, it can be. but think about why you find it annoying, and think about what it’s based on.

also for the love of god stop trying to force creators to talk about being ND, or showing ND traits. it’s actually really fucking weird and an invasion of privacy to talk about their mental health and diagnoses. if i was a big streamer and people asked me to talk about being ND, i’d ignore the questions because 1) it’s uncomfortable and weird and i wouldn’t want every soul on the internet to know how i function and 2) because as soon as a creators says they’re ND they’re either reduced to their diagnosis or it’s ignored completely.

i get it. you like hearing about creators that share experiences with you. it’s comforting to hear these big cool people talk about stuff you’ve experienced negativity around. but it’s not your right to know about that shit. let creators have personal lives that don’t involve their fans. let creators have privacy.

[deluluass]

Red, like blood. Blue, like love.

Content warnings: rape/noncon; nsfw; bullying; soulmates au

Prompt: 88 & 183

There’s someone for everyone, you’d learned growing up.

 "Remember, blue means happy," your mother would say. "The happiest you'll ever be.”

She liked reminding you about this fact— for it is an indisputable truth, every so often when she could still carry you. You’d be hugged from the back, as she recounted stories of first meetings, serendipitous and life changing in their nature; belonging to those who’ve lived long before you, sometimes even those who’ve only lived in tales.

Mostly, your mother loved telling those involving the people she knew. And if you’ve behaved properly, she would tell you about hers. 

Tracing your palm, starting from the forked lines to the dashed ones on your fingers, she’d say, “These would start to glow like stars.”

“That’s weird!” you’d burst out, shrieking a laughter as she tickled you. 

“Listen carefully,” she chastised. “Blue is for your soulmate, okay?”

And you’d repeat: Blue is for my soulmate.

“Then, mama,” you tugged at her sleeves, “What if it’s really, really bright red! Like! Bloody glow sticks! Say, mama, you see, everyone at the park was talking about the man who died because he touched someone and his hand became bright re— ”

You never brought that up again. What your mother said about it had been enough to never make you forget.

“Tell me if you get red,” she said firmly, clutching your arms as if she feared someone would snatch you away from her. “Red is bad, my heart. Red means run.”

 It hadn’t nearly been as gruesome as your mother made it out to be. 

Case in point, when you turned twelve the couple three houses down your street found out, shortly after their honeymoon, that their palms gleamed a fierce red once they clasped each other’s hands in front of the neighborhood aunties.  

Their marriage ended with a swift and ordinary divorce, a year or so later.

Red: Not just an ominous warning for homicide, then. That was a relief, you’d thought.

Contrary to how your mother framed it, you were thankful, actually. It helped some of your friends escape from potentially hellish relationships. How lucky is it that you lived in a reality where the universe seemed exceedingly benevolent. Though, you sometimes have to question if that generosity extended to everyone.

Fat lot of good it did for you. 

Because, from where you’re standing, it doesn’t have to take some arbitrary and unsolvable scientific mystery to heed that Oikawa Tooru must be avoided like the plague.

Any person in your shoes would be conditioned to do exactly that. 

You’d first met in Elementary. You thought he was the prettiest kid you’d ever seen, with chestnut curls and doe eyes and lashes that swept past his cheeks, and when you’d asked for a hand shake he’d called you “the ugliest girl I’ve ever seen” and “fart face.” 

Recess and lunch were when he’s most fearsome. Spiky burdocks slapped on the collar of your dress; dead lizards in your food; the boy was determined. The worst part was that it always happened when no one was looking. And if someone were, it was his best friend. So when you finally told on him to your mom, both your teacher and the principal simply judged Oikawa as the victim of an attention deprived child.

“Please discipline your daughter,” they told her. “We are all aware of your situation at home, but do ensure that she’s not getting out of control.”

You couldn’t even muster up the strength to defend yourself. In that moment all you could do was swear that you’d never allow anyone to talk to your mother in that way again. 

You moved out of that school. 

You didn’t wait for your palms to flash a warning signal because, somehow, you knew that boys who discover early that they could get away with anything cannot get any better. 

There’d been no way to be sure of that until Aoba Johsai— after a peaceful interim of no Oikawa; no red palm lines (and no blue ones, either).

The proof hit you in the face. Literally. 

“Oi, Shittykawa!”

Heat permeated from your nostrils as you patted your cheek, detached and staring back at the large gymnasium. 

“You hit someone!”

How unlucky did a person have to be to bleed right on the first day of classes? 

You tried to lean forward. “It’s okay,” you slurred nasally, pinching your nose and averting your embarrassed gaze from the boy kneeling next to you.

“Trashykawa! You better hurry and apologize!”

“Don’t be mad, Iwa-chan,” that disgustingly saccharine voice came from behind you, making you flinch, as if the years you’d spent apart had done nothing to purge it out of your system.

In all honesty, you hadn’t really cared for whoever was responsible for the ball that careened all the way to where you were standing, so sure that it had to be an accident. No one in their right mind would want to injure someone they barely knew, especially if said someone is a couple of feet away from you. 

Morally and athletically, it should’ve been improbable. But then you saw who did it and everything made perfect sense.

Iwa-chan. The boy beside you. Iwaizumi Hajime.

If he’s here, then— 

“You,” he whispered. 

“Eh?! Gosh, I’m so sorry!” Oikawa Tooru gasped. “You’re bleeding.”

Time is cruel. It wears down on you, tears you and molds you into something you can’t even recognize, if it decides to. (Fate, more so). You didn’t know if you wanted to cry or laugh, looking at him. If the universe were so benevolent, then perhaps Oikawa Tooru had received all of its favor.

He was beautiful. You’d known this before, but with all the baby fat replaced with sharp yet slender angles, figure lean and imposing even when he’d lowered himself to meet your eyes, Oikawa didn’t seem real.

“I did hit someone, didn’t I?” he pouted, wiping the dried blood atop your lip. “And such a pretty girl, too.”

That volleyball existed should’ve made life better for you. It didn’t. If anything, it seemed that out of the court, when he’s not taking names and being praised like a god, you were his little pastime. Something fun to take his mind off whatever it is he thinks about it. 

The mocking comments, you could handle; every time you’d recite and he’ll interject with something playful and then the entire class would laugh (because he’s Oikawa) and your professor would reprimand him but you could always tell that they, too, are holding in a giggle. 

Those were easy to bear, because although his insults hit way too close to home, it’s just— it’s just so petty.

Really, it’s the aftermath that does the damage.

“They’re like Christmas lights under your skin!” 

This topic pops up every month or so. Most people your age can be lucky enough to meet their soulmate this early. 

“And it’s the most awesome feeling in the world,” your classmate sighed. “When we touched hands? Man. We just- we glowed.”

Then, the others would poke fun, faking a gagged expression, but they’d always ask afterwards, “What happened next?” And everytime, you’d watch from the sidelines. Like an uninvited audience. 

You tried being a part of it once, wanting to share about the time your close friend met her soulmate. But all you’d gotten were side eyes and titters, as if they were laughing about a joke only you didn’t know about. 

“They’re so mean to you.” 

You groaned.

Oikawa was seated behind you, resting his head against his elbow. Everyone was too busy talking about blue lights and destined souls to notice what’s happening at the back of the room. 

He continued, “Not including you in conversations, treating you like an outsider.”

You didn’t bite, focusing on the opened book in front of you.

“Must be lonely, having no one.”

“Oikawa,” you muttered under your breath. “I don’t have the energy for this.”

The silence that came after that was unexpected. You were sure it would be short lived; he’s just gearing up for more. He usually went at it until you’d have no choice but to physically remove yourself from his presence. You’d thought once that that may be why he does this so much. Maybe he still thought you were the “ugliest girl” he’s ever met and he wants you out of his sight. Because Oikawa’s infantile like that.

But the silence stayed, accompanied by the background noise of eager conversations; lingering some more as white, fluffy clouds passed by the glass windows. 

When he broke it, all Oikawa said was, “Soulmates, huh.”

You felt a finger touch your back, drawing the barest of lines over your uniform. He removed them just before you could stand up and leave. 

You disliked those moments with him. 

You disliked him especially when he played. 

Oikawa’s a monster, be it in volleyball or with you. There are times, though, that you’d notice some things that you think you’re not meant to see. Like after a serve— its impact booming throughout the court, he’d have this puzzling expression on his face. 

It looked like....anger. 

He scored a point, right? Everyone’s cheering for him, aren’t they? Wait, didn’t they win?

You thought maybe it’s the adrenaline making him nastier than usual, but sometimes you’d pass by the gym when he happens to be alone. And that anger is still there, punctuated by the sound of the ball exploding against the floor. Jump. Hit. Spike. Jump. Hit. Spike. He’d do it, again and again and again. 

As if he’s trying to grasp something even he cannot reach. 

Those instances should’ve taught you that the best thing to do is look away. 

That’s what you should’ve done. Look away.

They lost the Interhigh tournament.

You knew this not because you’d watched, but because for one day, Oikawa Tooru wasn’t your bully. 

The derision was replaced by sulking. He didn’t speak for the entire period. The funniest thing about it was that everyone kept staring at you. Like somehow you’d been the cause of this, when all of them were lamenting the loss just as much as the team itself. 

 What was supposed to be a reason for celebration suddenly became a crime that you had to explain for.

 “Great,” you grumbled to yourself. “One time I don’t have a target on my back, now I’m the bad guy.”

Trash bag in hand, the scraps inside rattled against each other as you stomped to the recycling bin, both sleeves of your P.E jacket folded up to the elbows. You affected a tone, choosing to mock the grating way some of classmates talked:

“Oh, hey, if it’s not too much,” you began. “Can you please be his punching bag again? If you will, can you relieve our superstar’s burdens? By, I don’t know, alluring him into walking all over you? Like the good old days! Please, oh please? We rely on you, oh Great Punching Bag! We Beseech thee, oh Esteemed Doormat! We compel— dude, what the fuck?!”

Crumpled papers and steel and tin cans rolled to the ground. You didn’t pick them up, like you should’ve; you left it there, trash bag lying open, and grabbed the ball that whisked mere inches from your face. 

This time you’re not making the same mistake. The asshole is more than capable of suspending what little morals he has, just to hurt someone he barely knew. As well as athletically adept (an understatement, that) at hitting a walking target; or not hitting it, in this case.  

You stormed the almost empty gym. Oikawa is a ray of sunshine, greeting you with that smile. It makes you want to punch him.

“What is wrong with you?” you spat. 

He chuckled. “Whoops. Sorry!” 

“I’m not having this-” you shoved the ball to his stomach. He didn’t even blink. “This isn’t gonna slide anymore, Oikawa.”

Wide grin still in place, he took it from your hands with his much larger ones and said, “Wow, you’re actually mad this time. ”  

Then, he added, “I didn’t mean it! Honest!” 

Must be nice, you thought with a scowl, to be him. Anyone can be sincere if they look anything like Oikawa. 

“Sure. Fine. No, actually,” you glowered. “You know what?” 

“Hm?” He tilted his head. Oikawa tilted his pretty little head.

You seethed. “I get it. You lost. That doesn’t mean you get to take it out on me. I mean, what did I ever do to you, Oikawa? I have-” you exhaled, surprised by the break in your voice. 

“I haven’t done anything to you. We stopped being kids a long time ago. That shit you pull should’ve ended by now. We’ve grown.” You jabbed his chest. “But I see that maybe not all of us have.”

His pleased expression hadn’t dropped. “Ouch,” Oikawa grimaced, glancing amusedly at the place you’d touched. “How mean.”

This isn’t going anywhere. 

You don’t know why it took you this long to realize this, as you shifted your gaze away from him, noticing the gashes on the floor that tear the surface like scars that never healed. That must’ve been because of him, with the amount of practice he does. 

“It won’t be enough, won’t it, Oikawa?” you whispered. “Not for you.”

The smile that’s been there since you arrived tensed, straining at the corners of his lips. 

“Yeah, I’ve been told,” he beamed. 

He was bathing in his own sweat, seeping through his shirt and matting his hair to his face, and he looks— Oikawa looked tired. His eyes were sunken in, too. Did he even sleep?

You’re so used to seeing him not a hair out of place, with a sweet scent that you amusedly thought lures his gaggle of admirers into following him everywhere. It takes you aback, honestly. Particularly the wobble in his step as he bent and squeezed his knee with shaky fingers.

You don’t think he’s aware he’s doing it in front of you.

Then, just like that, everything seemed to have added up.  

“You’ll never be happy,” you said.

You should’ve stopped there. You should’ve left. Instead, you looked him in those brown eyes, the warm hue becoming a lot colder as he moved closer. 

Oikawa sneered. “And what do you know, huh?” 

(Go. Leave.)

“Nothing,” you told him. “I don’t- I don’t know. Because, I don’t get it.”

(Shut up. Shut up.)

“Why you try any harder, I don’t know. Win or lose, it’s all the same. You’re still the same. You’re still awful and annoying and- and still you.” You laughed, unsure why you’re running your mouth like this. 

“Win or lose. Oikawa is still Oikawa,” you breathed in. “Nothing more, nothing less.”

His teammates must’ve gone somewhere. For lunch, maybe, you thought as you eyed the abandoned bottles and used towels scattered around the court. “Besides,” you huffed, not without a twinge of envy. “They’ll all still love you, either way.” 

Everything went still for a while, and you’d just realized what you’d just said.

“What about you?” 

You looked back at him.

“What?”

He tipped his chin. You stepped backwards. 

He brushed your wrist.

“Don’t touch me,” you hissed, but he only smiled and wrapped his entire hand around it. 

Oikawa had been your first bully. Before you could even comprehend what that meant, Oikawa had been the source of your mother’s worries whenever she parted with you at the school gates. It is funny, thinking about it, for letting this boy affect you despite making an effort to stay away the first time. 

But it is only now— now that he has a firm hold on you, gentle yet smothering— that you truly feared Oikawa Tooru. 

It rattled your breath, squeezing your heart and refusing air to pass through your lungs, as you felt a shock zap through you. And apparently through him as well.

You broke away from each out with a cry.

Your hand was burning. That’s the only explanation for it. Your hand was burning and any moment now smoke will diffuse from the pores. 

You waited. Any moment now. But the more you stared at it the more tiny spots of flames sparked under your skin, bursting along the palm lines— first, the forked ones; then, the dashed lines— glaring back at you, glowing brighter, blotting and spreading until they mapped your palms then your entire hands like constellations. 

“Red is bad, my heart,” your mother said. “Red means run.”

“I knew it,” you scoffed, shaking your head. 

Well, it’s not as if this is news to you. 

“What about that, Oikawa?” You put both your radiating hands in the air. “The universe is telling us, you and I? We just don’t—”

Why are you crying?

Why is Oikawa crying? 

“I knew it,” he croaked.

Your mother made the red light sound so horrifying for a reason. 

There has to be a reason, too, why the universe is warning you so late into your life. You’d actually ran before. And when you thought it a waste of money, you chose to stay and not fight back; thinking that his punches have become less severe, degraded into verbal taunts that induce social exclusion at most; that, certainly, red doesn’t forbode something as bad as murder, right?

Well, what now? You were wrong, after all. This time you have a feeling that you actually need to hide. 

Because Oikawa’s looking at you like you’re the last two people left in this Earth. 

Just you and him. Without any need for anybody else. 

You didn’t breathe, attempting to bolt despite the overwhelming need to throw up right where you're standing. He stepped closer, faster than you’d liked, and touched your face, caressing your cheek up to your aching temple.

“You should really stop trying to run away,” he said, voice low as if he’s sharing a secret. “I’ll always find you, you know?”

You didn’t have to look to know. Even if you closed your eyes, as well, you know it’s still going to be there; glowing in the darkness behind your eyelids.

“Me and you—” Oikawa sighed. 

Listen carefully, your mother said.

“ —we have a connection that no one else will ever understand,” he said.

The light emitting from his hand was so harsh it hurt you, pricking your sight until it drew fat tears, reflecting against your damp face and tinting the fallen streaks with bright—

Blue means happy, she told you. The happiest you’ll ever be.

And you’d repeat: Blue. Blue is for—

“My soulmate," Oikawa said, before locking you in a deep, searing kiss. 

The lights didn't die even as he dragged you into the storage room.  

"Hey, where'd senpai go?" 

The rest of the volleyball team came in droves, occupying the hollow court with their squeaking shoes and questions about Oikawa's whereabouts.

"Must've gone somewhere," you heard a deep voice say. 

You could answer that question. All you  had to do was scream. They weren't so far from the room that they wouldn't pick it up over the noise of their volleyball practice. Really, if you needed to, you could even outshout their guttural yells of "Nice kill!"

Though, you'd have to remove the underwear lodged in your mouth first. 

Yours, in fact; soaked now by your own saliva, drool dripping to your chin as your wrists chafed against the rope that's keeping them tied at your back.

"Feels good, doesn't it?" You felt every sickening movement of Oikawa's lips against your throat. "Feels good when you- ah, fuck- when you give in."

With the cloth muting your shrill bawling, you tried your best to recall how you ended up here: seated on his lap as he sluggishly humped himself against you, his still glowing hands cupping your ass.  

The only thing left on your body was your bra, and even that he's already lowered to let your tits spill over the top. Your pants and t-shirt and jacket are lying around somewhere. You couldn't determine where in particular; the only sources of light were behind you.  

He was leaving imprints of blue all over your skin; around your waist as he slithered his hands to reach your breasts, scantily brushing over the hardened nipples and making you keel over.

"So sensitive," he tutted, smooching your neck so gently that even the underwear couldn't muffle your loud yelp when he suddenly bit into the flesh. Hard. 

You wanted to claw his eyes out and call for help and you wanted badly to scream don't do that Oikawa someone please save me he's gonna kill me he's gonna kill me-

But the gag remained intact and the boys outside continued their game, ignorant that their precious captain is taking everything away from you. 

Sharp canines bruised your skin, provoking a fresh batch of tears as he sucked and licked every after cruel bite. 

Then, when you thought the worst had passed, he removed his mouth from your neck to spit onto your bare cunt, allowing it to slide from the hair on your mound to the nub sticking out in the middle.

(It is not enough that he is killing you. Oikawa must defile you, too.)

His fingers gripped the insides of your thighs open when you tried to shut them together. "Don't be a brat," he clicked his tongue.

"Be a nice little kitten for me," Oikawa drawled, smearing the slick that's soaking your folds against the spittle coating your clit.

You didn't notice when he'd taken his cock out, you only realize that he's about to enter you when he teased your entrance with it, pushing the tip to nudge the drenched hole, only to pull it back again.

And you didn't dare look. The feel of it almost stretching you out with just the head is already driving you to insipid begging.

"What'd you say, kitten?" he pouted.

Oikawa you've already taken too much is it never going to be enough Oikawa let me go.

"I can't understand you," he chuckled. "Here—"

He pulled the underwear out of your mouth as he thrust all the way inside, your back arching, driving him deeper, as his cock throbbed against your pussy walls.

"Now, what were you saying?"

You swallowed your cries and heaved and swore you were gonna tear his heart out after this. 

"Say," he whispered, sniffing your wet panties without breaking his gaze. "If everyone saw us right now, how'd you think they'd react?"

It was so reverent, the way he did it, blue light revealing that he closed his eyes as he took a whiff, as if he hung onto your scent like a lifeline.

But you thought that'd been a calculated move, because as you dumbly stared at him, he immediately gyrated his hips under you, rocking back and forth ever so slowly, and you remembered that you had to keep quiet.

His cock was so big inside you, making you bite your lip as it filled you up, the curved tip hitting a spot that has you squirming in his embrace.

"At this point they'll know how much of a whore you are," he said, tangling his muscled arms around yours and anchoring you to his body. "Made just for me."

"Oika-Oikawa…"

You don't know this person. 

"Help..me.."

You don't know who's speaking out and whimpering for Oikawa, on her knees and bouncing up and down on his lap with weak, quivering thighs. 

It couldn't be you.

"Help you?" You felt him nuzzle your neck. "I thought you wanted me to stay away, though?"

Someone mewled out a pathetic, "N-no."

"No? Then what d'you want, kitten?"

(Oh. Oh, he feels so fucking good.)

Your belly has never felt this hot before and it's driving you crazy that you're chasing for something you cannot see and it feels so near but there's something, something that's keeping you from it that all you can do is grind your sopping cunt closer to him.

"Wanna- I wanna cum."

Oikawa kissed you on the forehead, and then he said, "Go ahead, then."

He released your arms. 

Then, he's scooping cum off your pussy, making sure to drag his fingers under the lips, before circling your large, swelling clit. Then, he's sucking your tits and swirling his tongue around a nipple and you're so so close.

"That's it," Oikawa sighed. "Ride my cock, baby."

His rough palm slapped both your ass cheeks and the cry that erupted from you only made him laugh. 

"Make yourself cum on my cock," he grunted, licking his smiling lips as he leaned back against the wall, hand idly rubbing your dripping clit. "You're making a mess, darling. Leaking like that."

You're quivering all over; your cunt is spasming and your legs are complaining beneath you, but you don't stop. You lift your hips and then sink your pussy down, down until you feel his balls touching your sore ass, the sloshing sound growing louder as you move faster. 

You don't think about what this'll all mean later, what you're doing giving in to him, when you scream out his name. But as soon as you did, Oikawa's growl had been your only warning.

He grabbed the back of your head and kissed you, plunging his tongue into your throat, his strong arms pressing you so close to him you can no longer tell his skin from yours, his battering heartbeat from yours. 

You didn't move—weren't allowed to, when he hammered his cock into you, pounding your cunt and fucking you raw until you're breathless and nothing but a shuddering wreck, splitting at the seams in his hands as you feel thick spurts of hot cum slide out of you. 

"My pretty girl," came his hoarse whisper. "My pretty, pretty girl."

The lights have dimmed, when he cradled your shaking form and moved out of you, faint traces left on just the palm lines and fingertips. 

They were flooded by the sudden brightness that enveloped the storage room.

"Holy shit."

You pressed your eyes close, your entire body prickling at Oikawa’s touch.

It shouldn't be surprising, at this point, that Oikawa, as quick as he'd stripped you off of everything, has already covered you back in your jacket. The smell of it striking you ruthlessly, that old cologne that you always use to school reminding you of who you were, before all this.

Had it only been a few hours? It felt like a lifetime ago.

"Ah," Oikawa murmured. "They caught us."

"Oikawa,” someone roared. Oikawa held you, hiding your face against his chest. “Why you son of a-"

"C-coach..! Stop- Oi, someone help me hold him- no, coach! "

You heard him chuckle. “Sorry about this, everyone.” He held up his hand and you had to keep yourself from sobbing. “But, look.”

There were several gasps. 

(Everybody knows now.)

“You..and her?” 

The boy who said that sounded so astonished, clearly overjoyed for some reason, that it revolted you.

“Mhm,” he nodded, a smile in his voice. “Now, can you guys please give us some privacy?” 

Feet shuffled out of the room, along with stuttered apologies. They all left. 

Except for one.

“Iwa-chan,” Oikawa pouted.

“What did you do, Oikawa?”

A beat. Then, he repeated, “Iwa-chan.”

Please. 

Iwaizumi didn’t say anything. 

Please help me.

“Sure,” he grunted.

He was gone, too, after that.

You were back in the darkness, with nothing but the faltering red and blue on your hands and his, while he untied your wrists and kneaded the abrasion away, cooing sweet nothings to your ear. 

“I hate you,” you rasped. 

“Don’t say that.”

“I fucking hate you-”

“Please stop yelling-”

“I won’t ever forgive you, Oikawa!”

“You don’t know what you’re talking about,” he cried, shaking his head as he brushed your tear-stained cheeks with both thumbs. You clutched them, wanting him off you, but he only latched himself firmly into you. “We’re meant to be.”

“You’re the only one for me.” 

Oikawa brought your numb hand to his face, pressing a kiss to your palm, the red light basking him in its soft glow.

“And I’m the only one for you,” he said, intertwining your fingers together. 

The lights flickered in and out, at first, as you stared vacantly into it, the red and blue swallowing each other. Until they finally disappeared, leaving just you and him, curled against each other in the shadows. 

[tokisoultheworld]

Let me introduce you to the concept of… opinions! Here's how it works. You and I clearly see characters differently, and that's okay! I am aware that the way my brain works, and the majority of other people's brain works, is entirely different. I consume media, create media, and talk about that media differently! A lot of people fill in the blanks when they read things that I write and think that I actually believe those things?? So here's the truth! I don't think Error is well-rounded, and yes I do in fact think Ink is scary and annoying! He's scary, and an idgaf king, to ME. I am not infantilizing Error, because that is a grown man! I am well aware of his insanity and dubious morals. Also, I can't bring myself to care about the virtual genocide of characters because it's not real and I'm way too busy focusing on REAL genocides happening around the world! And I said the multiverse was insane in general, and that means everyone, even Ink. But to me, because of the fact he has emotions, he has his shit together more. TO ME. I don't think Ink's character is more complex than Error's, but I still respect your opinion and see where you're coming from and I understand you. I'm not going to change the way I see these characters, but I respect the way YOU see them because it doesn't affect MY life in any way and isn't hurting anybody. And I hope from now on that you understand this and leave me alone.

To end this out, the undertale AU fandom was built on fanon, basically, and the lines for canon and fanon are already too fucking blurred for me to give a shit. If you go by canon for everything you don't HAVE FUN! And you're clearly not having fun if you're being so mean over UNDERTALE AUS. (It's never that serious) So IDGAF about canon and you should loosen up and go outside ! (Also I hate FGoD it's a plague) Go marry canon if you love it so much xx I'll be there at the wedding

I think canon Dream is very confusing by the fact that he doesn't trust Ink but respects Error. Wdym he dislikes Ink for simply having different views/opinions about how the multiverse functions but 'looks up' to Error because he apparently ''keeps the multiverse in balance".. (if Joku has no haters, i'm dead)

....Dream my boy,,,,why would you respect an insane genocidal maniac and not a guy who biggest flaw (in your eyes) is being different....

(only memes are able to express my feelings)

[ruby-whistler]

Hey, this may be a me thing but I think there's to much emphasis placed on Tommy being a child. Like yes c!Tommy is a child but only because cc!Tommy is a child. Him being a child isn't plot relevant, none of the underage characters being children is relevant to the plot. The only reason this is being emphasised is so we don't forget who's portraying them and isn't impactful to the narrative. If cc!Tommy had been 18 nothing in the narrative would've changed, c!Tommy's story wouldn't have changed at all. I think we apply real world logic to hard to the dsmp and I think it limits the storytelling. C!Dreams manipulation has nothing to do with them being children. I don't know if any of this makes sense but I think people are to reliant on using the ages of everyone to prove points.

c!wilbur was canonically over 10 years older than c!dream when he came in and created a deliberate us vs. them mentality in his home to try and found his own country. if age actually mattered people, they would've pointed that out, but no, they just want to push c!tommy being always the victim and the adults being at fault for everything.

i feel like people seriously infantilize him with "oh he doesn't need to get rid of his flaws that hurt both himself and other people, he's just a kid, well, those flaws get him into trouble? he just wanted to be happy i can't believe other people would always drag him into their problems" and i legitimately can't understand why one would have such an attitude to the character but here we are.

on one side they acknowledge his flaws, on the other say he shouldn't change them despite the fact they're very obviously making things worse for both himself and others - it's not being annoying, it's being self-centred to where you don't consider anyone else's perspective beyond your own, never consider their feelings, take them seriously, or treat them well. that sucks. that's something he should work on changing, and his fans repeatedly saying that he shouldn't rubs me the wrong way.

at that point that isn't removing his flaws, it's seeing him hurt people thanks to those flaws and saying it's the others' fault and they should "leave him alone" and that he "just wanted to be a kid".

guys, if we had that sort of attitude to like, c!techno / c!dream, and said, "he just wanted to be a person, be a dude and live his life, so idk maybe people should've let him be and not dragged him into their mess" and used that as an argument, it wouldn't work.

the only reason the one with c!tommy does is because it's completely based on the age excuse and woobifying him.

the guy has actual agency and enough maturity to know he's getting himself into a mess by being an insensitive chaotic prick. am i gonna cheer him on because i love the chaos? yes. am i going to agree when people say "oh No Poor tOmmy he just wanted to have Fun they're taking away his childhood he had no idea this would happen look at the big bad adults D:<"? absolutely not. i love him for being an idiot, but also acknowledge he should stop hurting people and change for the better because he has a lot to work on. it's really not that hard.

[runby2]

I WANTED TO MAKE A CLEAR POST ABOUT MY STANCES on the BUGSNAX ISSUES. Because I was just informed people took things wildly incorrectly, and now people won’t stop arguing about them! People are stressed while some folks wanted to make my opinion law, which ISN’T what I want. This post will be Bugsnax Related,

If you don’t know about Bugsnax or could care less about the drama, scroll past this post because none of this matters or will matter to you. And dear god you are so valid.  

- I don’t mind if you want to pair Wiggle and Gramble together. No one should mind. Please draw what you want. They’re both consenting adults. My opinion literally doesn’t matter! Do what makes you happy. Don’t attack people for shipping Gramble and Wiggle, don’t attack people for not shipping Gramble and Wiggle!!!! Think about this! Don’t even leave a passive aggressive comment or reblog it with judging tags. Leave folks alone. Block the pairing tag if you need to. No ones in the wrong here unless they started targeted harassment for really petty reasons!

- Floofty is, in canon, trans (non-binary) and deserves to be called by their proper pronouns. I’ve never made a post about Floofty with the intent of making fun of their pronouns. I am trans and non-binary leaning, and I made a lot of the goof posts on Floofty because we all like to get frustrated towards gender critical people. That’s where these comic ideas originated from, those are their intent. I will never draw Floofty experiencing actual transphobia because none of the muppet characters on that island are transphobic in canon. Floofty just uses they/them because it’s an actual pronoun and it’s normal.

- Wiggle’s character having a black voice actor does not make the fictional character Wiggle Wigglebottom immune to criticism for her actions that aren’t even SLIGHTLY race related. Because the actual grumpus characters are not racially charged. We can’t get into racism discourse about a game without racially charged characters that aren’t even human. Wiggles actions being based on a “drug addiction metaphor” doesn’t make them immune to criticism either! People are allowed to say: hey that was shitty of wiggle to do.

That’s not “demonizing wiggle” or “making wiggle out to be a villain” that’s just saying what happened in the game. It’s just the facts.

- Country accents are not AAVE. I would never make fun of AAVE, even in a shitpost comic. Gramble is just REALLY really southern in the game.

- Gramble being written as having trauma related episodes is not “babyfying” him. People being concerned about an age gap dynamic Gramble is in, due to their own trauma, is not infantilizing. If you draw Gramble acting only innocent and in a clear childlike way, that’s when infantilizing becomes a thing. That’s when the label fits. That’s when things get weird. People being concerned when I was in an age gap issue in real life was not them belittling me. It was just them being concerned. A lot of my comics are based on actual experiences I’ve gone through, and I see it all in Gramble. But that’s my take and it in no way has to effect yours. Don’t let it effect yours.

- THAT BEING SAID people who don’t want to see Gramble as being in a scary situation, for any reason, are completely fine too. They’re allowed to draw art where everything is okay in that relationship. If you try to make my opinion law I’ll find you and get you. Especially if you’ve been harassing people.

[stevenbasic]

“Sheryl, please, why do we have to do this?” I pleaded, seated in my little office, wringing my hands, as another IG alert came through from one of my bosomy applicants. ‘Angie’, one of the most assertive of the pack, reaching out again. I nearly whined, feeling assaulted from all sides. What was up with these women?!? They wouldn’t leave me alone; it had been happening all morning. Why?? Why so many, so quickly, for jobs here?!? Honestly, we were nothing special, were we? Girls that looked like...this: Why would they want to work at some boring geriatrics practice? It didn’t make any sense, and their shameless, aggressively suggestive photos and videos had me in a worsening and worsening state. But...I tried to focus.. I tried to ignore them. I needed to talk to my wife, Sheryl, about the divorce papers with which she’d just served me. “Please, honey, why? Let’s-“

“You know perfectly well ‘why’,” my wife answered, her strong voice filling the room, issuing from my desk speakerphone. She had every reason to sound snide, petulant, hurt. But - she did not. She sounded firm, formidable, forceful. She was a corporate attorney, and this was her playing field: conflict. A pro, while I felt...inept. Outmatched. Feeble. A feeling I’d been getting used to these days, yes, but now coming to a head. Rubbed in my face.

“And, ‘honey’,” she continued, letting the first bit of derision seep into her voice, “there is no ‘we’ in this. I am doing this. I am removing you from the equation. Finally, after years of this, after years of your disrespect, your infidelity, your infantile behavior, I am going to put you in your place.” I could picture her, in one of her offices, dressed smartly, frosted blonde hair: perfect. Gym-toned legs crossed aside a huge desk, idly twirling an ankle, dangling a killer pump.

“Please, no, I’m sorry...” I continued, hoping against hope that I could change her mind somehow, “I’m sorry for being so weak, I’m sorry for everything I did…” I was being earnest, truthful...I was sorry. Sorry for the adulteries, sorry for the pain and betrayals of trust. Sorry for being such an idiot, not realizing what I had in her, and not realizing until it was too late what my life would be without her. How destitute I would be...morally, mentally, financially. My world would literally collapse. “...I’m begging you.”

“I know, I can hear it in your voice,” she continued, “I can hear how afraid you are, afraid of what I’m going to do to you. Afraid of what you’ll be left with.” Though Sheryl’s businesslike tone was doing its best to disguise whatever thoughts and emotions she might be having, I had a good feeling what those might be...and they made me shiver. This was not the twenty-something year-old law student with the huge, brilliant smile and quick, weird wit, the girl I’d fallen in love with. This was a powerful, successful woman who was enjoying making the little man who’d wronged her squirm. “You shouldn’t be afraid of that as much as what will happen if you don’t sign those papers,” she continued, “I’m doing this now, before the election, and you should be thankful.”

Darkly, a new shadow crept into the room. It settled over me, brought a chill to my bones. What was going to happen, if some of these women running for office actually won, got their way? I had admittedly been sort of avoiding the news, not reading what I should about the possibilities of this sea change, for months now. Maybe I was being foolish, my head in the sand? Was I underestimating what could come of all this?

I glanced at my phone, more DMs had come through...

Jesus, will these people just...stop...

“I already know all the judges, I know all the courts.” she said, her confidence plainly coming through over the speakerphone, “After the election, when things change, this would be much harder for you. I’ll tell you this: the women in line to take over the judiciaries have big plans to right some old wrongs, and if I were you I’d sign this now while you have the chance.”

My face flushing hot, eyes burning with imminent tears, I quivered, looking about the room. After being in Melissa’s spacious office, mine felt so small. But it wasn’t just that which made it seem like walls were closing in around me. What was my world coming to??

I pictured it, for a brief second, what it could be like. Divorced from Sheryl, single, surrounded by an office-full of jigglebunnies at my beck and call. Would it be so bad? Would it be so terrible if all these female candidates won? If the Woman’s Party took over the courts, the government, the schools and banks? What would my world be then? What would it be like if I just let myself...fall into its lap ?

No I can’t! I was going to fight this. I was going to show her the man I could be!

Should I look at some of these girls, while we talk?

No. Slide that away. This was not a fantasy. That thin stack papers from her attornies, on my desk, made it all too real.

“Sheryl, please, let me try,” I said, “let me show you-“

“No, I’m tired of this. Sign the papers. Right away,” she demanded as I winced, feeling my throat tighten, “I want you to do it now. Don’t make me send Melissa in to make you.”

Oh my god what?? “Hey, Sh-Sh-“

“Every day that goes by without you signing them is a day I’m going to make it harder for you,” she snapped, her clear voice crystallizing, suddenly petrifying me, “Face it, honey, I’m better at this than you, I have bigger lawyers than you. All I have to do is say the word and they’ll crush you. They’re itching to do it, to squash you under their big high heels. So go on, hang your head and sign the papers like a good little boy or they’ll tear you apart like harpies.”

“P-p-please Sheryl,” I pleaded, nearly sobbing, “don’t do th-”

“Quiet,” she commanded, any patience she had for me clearly exhausted, “Sign the papers soon or we’re going to make sure you get fucking smothered...”

Just then, a text from Melissa...

==================================

Next post up at my Patreon

[usernamesuggestionsarefunny]

I have lost count of how many times I have read the same old suuuuper “smart takes” from people defending Steve´s endgame by saying that thinking it was shitty for Steve to leave his traumatized best friend alone in an unfamiliar century FOREVER  (Because newsflash: he didn´t actually KNOW he would live to be old enough to meet him again and even then it would be way less time together) is “infantilizing” Bucky. Wow, you got us, how can we argue with that *eye rolls*

Like why? Because we awknowledge that Steve was an important part of Bucky´s life and that it would be even harder than it already is to move on without him? Which is literally canon btw, tfatws showed him struggle through Steve´s absence.

It is because we put ourselves in his shoes and imagine what it would be like to be ditched by your “best friend” forever? Is it because we awknowledge that even without NEEDING your best friend, that endgame scenareo would be horrible?

Like, I don´t know you, but I don´t need my best friends to be literal toddlers to care for their wellbeing and value their friendship, especially not if they have gone through something horrible, I would want to be there for them. That doesn´t mean I baby them, that doesn´t mean I think they would be incapable of moving on if for some reason I couldn´t be there (Far from it, I actually admire most of my friends), it just means I remain friends with them, like, how is that freaking unreasonable to expect from a friend even as an adult? Friendships grow apart, sure, but there is absolutely NO real life equivalent to what Steve did to Bucky. He didn´t just move to another continent (Meaning they could have still kept touch through zoom, mail, phonecalls, etc), he pretty much moved to another whole ass reality. FRIENDS DON´T DO THAT.

“Infantilizing” stfu. If this were a romantic couple we were talking about no one would be questioning fans getting upset on behalf of the character left behind for a friend from the past, for example, but because Steve and Bucky were “just” friends, Steve left for a romantic interest, and society doesn´t think friendship or platonic bonds are as “important” as romance, then you would be crazy to even question it unless you think of Bucky as a child. 

What a stupid way of thinking obviously meant to mock fans just because you don´t ship Stucky (Or a few shippers can be obnoxious), which, by the way, I don´t either.

 Bucky is a grown ass adult, he will move on, and I still hate Steve´s ending in part because I think their friendship mattered, just like all the friendships Steve made in the 21st century  mattered, and his development mattered even without taking Bucky into account.

 Bucky would still be justified in feeling abandoned by Steve btw. I sure as hell would if any of my friends moved away and never talked to me again. 

If you can only love your close friends or want to spend time with them when you think of them as children or they need you for something then you suck as a friend. You were never their friend in the first place, you just pitied them, which ironically IS infantilizing, or means you were a good samaritan helping just because, which is noble, but it is NOT being a friend and it is NOT how Steve and Bucky´s bond was presented to us in the previous movies.

[sepublic]

Isaac’s Coming-of-Age Moment

           I find Isaac’s talk with the Captain in Season 3 weirdly… sweet, in a sense?

           Like… I kind of get this vibe from Isaac during their conversation that he’s basically some hot-headed, emotional youth, who is confused in a lot of ways, basically a teenager, and he just really needs some actual guidance, a positive adult/parental figure in his life that he can actually count on! Which, I don’t want to infantilize Isaac, but then again he does refer to himself and Hector as children who need to grow up in Season 4, so maybe I’m not too far off.

           I dunno, I just get the feel that as someone who’s been alone for a LONG while, without any real positive interactions with people or older figures… Isaac’s just in a kind of generally moody, angsty sort of headspace akin to an angsty teenager, obviously unreasonable in some regards, but not truly, his feelings are valid and you can tell that by the end of the day, he just wants to be left alone and in peace.

           So it feels really sweet to have Isaac actually like- Talk to an older figure who for once is acting as a mentor, passing on some real wisdom and guidance. The Captain can tell that Isaac needs someone to help him through what is a VERY confusing part of his life, a part that will decide a lot for him –again, like a teenager- and he’s very patiently and considerately advising Isaac; But at the same time, he’s not condescendingly lecturing him either. The Captain shows Isaac a lot of respect and consideration, and is both talking to him as an equal, but also as a mentor if that makes sense.

           And to me, that’s just really nice and heartwarming to watch, because with Dracula also in mind, I’m lowkey getting the impression of Isaac as this like; Jaded youth who secretly yearns for approval by someone for once, we can kind of see this from his abuser in the flashback. 

          Isaac hasn’t quite completely gotten over this, but with the Captain, Isaac can finally get that validation and support that he really needs and craves from an older figure, in a way that isn’t toxic and unhealthy. And I love Dracula and I will always applaud his decision to save Isaac’s life at the end of Season 2, how THAT led to Isaac learning to live for himself, I will forever love that moment even more from now on;

           But I think Dracula and I can both agree that he’s not, like. The healthiest role model nor person for Isaac to look up to, nor dedicate himself towards. Really, nobody is the healthiest person for Isaac to dedicate himself towards, he needs to live for himself after all! So it really was for the best that Isaac had himself cut off from that sort of toxic dependency; Dracula is an ENORMOUS step-up from Isaac’s abuser, sure, but he still represented Isaac’s refusal to really value himself, only just in relation to others.

           Anyhow, I really appreciate that talk where Isaac low-key finds a bit of a Father Figure in the Captain. Maybe I’m just protecting a little, but I found it very endearing how the Captain talks directly to Isaac as a person, in many ways he’s kind of firm and fair, but in a way that shows that he actually CARES about Isaac, and not that he’s just trying to get his own way. 

          Like, the Captain is interested in seeing Isaac prosper, but he’s not toxically dedicating himself to Isaac, the way Isaac would’ve done to Dracula’s memory; And that ability to help others and invest in them, while still being yourself, was no doubt enlightening for Isaac.

           Just… that side-eye glance of Isaac’s bear the end, actually stopping to think and consider, when the Captain tells him that hey, you can be a ruler! An almost endearing kind of immature desire to deny this in a rather “It’s not a PHASE” type of way, but it is in fact clearly getting to him, whether he likes to admit or not, and it’s kind of flustering Isaac. When the Captain gives him no shit but still treats him like a person. In general, all of Isaac’s interactions in Season 3 came from older figures who were a lot more experienced than him, which I think just adds to this idea that… 

          He really is kind of young and inexperienced in a lot of ways. And he really needs some second opinions to surround himself with, perspectives that are at times differing; Which I think is a neat contrast with Carmilla, who mostly relies on an echo chamber of her sisters and isn’t very receptive to different opinions.

           But yeah, Isaac is an utter mood, basically a moody, edgy teenager, who just needs some love and cherishing, some real mentorship and guidance, provided with actual respect and consideration, so he can get through what is an incredibly confusing AND formative period of his life. 

          It makes me all the more happy that it turns out for the best for him, and I really want to see a fic where like; Him and Hector encounter Dracula and Lisa, with all four on healthier terms, and Dracula’s sort of joy at seeing his other two sons being happy and living for themselves like he’d hoped- While Hector and Isaac are lowkey like, ��See Dad! See how we’ve really become our own person, isn’t that really cool?” In that sort of excited, endearing way where they show a lot of respect and admiration, and place a lot of faith and trust in Vlad’s opinion. 

          Because even if they aren’t dependent on Dracula’s opinion, it’s still nice to see him validated and swell with pride, to actually see his Forge Masters get along as he’d always hoped. Like a sort of Coming of Age moment where they happily reflect on how much they’ve grown, to people who’d really respect and appreciate it, telling them that hey, your love for me, it paid off- It really meant a lot and I’m happy to tell the both of us that it wasn’t for nothing, it really meant SO much to me and helped, thank you!

           It’s just… Really endearing how we can see Isaac comfortably, in a safe space and level of interaction that isn’t plagued by threat nor violence; Afford to get snappy with someone else, like he can actually express his feelings at the Captain, but he doesn’t have to worry about holding himself to a subordinate level like with Dracula. Isaac can just be himself without having to constantly brace himself for the possibility of conflict or bloodshed, he can just comfortably exist in this space with a stranger and actually, fully, talk with someone who he feels actually gets and understands him on some level.

          Isaac is in a good environment where he can just let himself out, and it’s incredibly refreshing to watch- It was no doubt extremely cathartic to Isaac, I imagine. And it really stands to show that just as Lisa advised Dracula, traveling around the world really can be good for your health, for opening your mind and worldview; So it’s sweet to see that Dracula ended up passing on and applying Lisa’s wisdom to his low-key son, and that wisdom DID end up working out for him in the end! Thanks, Lisa.

         Now I can only imagine Isaac talking to Lisa about this and feeling really grateful, because she ended up inspiring HIM as well… And Lisa just looks wryly at Dracula like, Oh so you DID take my advice, and not only that, passed it onto others as well?

         And THAT just makes me imagine an older Isaac who continues the cycle of not abuse, but growth and guidance, who sees himself later on in another angry youth who reminds him a lot of himself, and then guides them to be more constructive- Because believe it or not, this wise King DOES understand what it’s like.

         He chuckles to himself when he realizes how the tables have turned, how HE’s the one giving The Talk to some kid, and he kindly, nostalgically, gratefully reflects on the Captain’s wisdom, and how it lives on through him and now this youth. Isaac and the kid are not so different and this realization of similarity and common ground just helps Isaac with accepting that human part of himself, and reaching out compassionately.

         Isaac is joked with and given much-needed fun and levity, while still taken seriously and respected as an individual; And I’m sure it means a lot to him, not that he fully realizes it yet. The Captain really expresses faith and belief in Isaac to grow up and support others through his own wisdom, the Captain sees himself in Isaac and that’s really fascinating- How this stranger is acting on this empathy to talk to Isaac and relate to him, to humanize him as a person for once. And it’s kind of shocking for Isaac to realize that others can actually relate to and see themselves in him, this alleged ‘monster’ and ‘thing’.

         It’s just neat to see an older figure express belief and expectation in Isaac to be something good because he thinks the best of him, rather than Isaac dedicating his belief to someone else, and it kind of inspires and incentivizes Isaac to do better with his life. That maybe he CAN grow and this isn’t the end for him, and one day teach others- Because maybe he DOES have something valuable to offer! The Captain recognizes Isaac as someone with potential and growth, and the ability to nurture and be positive, and I love that. 

         Especially with how Isaac dedicates himself to Dracula and his ‘wisdom of ages’, only for the Captain to turn around and suggest that Isaac himself has his own knowledge worth passing on, and that’s more than enough reason for Isaac to live for himself, then. It’s very nice to see Isaac lowkey latch onto a positive authority figure and actually be emotionally rewarded for it like he needs and deserves. And it’s even sweeter how Isaac leaves the Captain with an amicable farewell wave, and even AFTER an immediate negative experience, Isaac still decides to do better, showing that his lessons really can apply and retain underneath hardship.

         Isaac is challenged but in a healthy way that he can actually engage with and really apply himself towards, because he is a very clever person, he’s allowed to think and be rewarded for it. And it makes it all the more interesting how Isaac in Season 4 does see himself as a holy figure in a sense, not necessarily out of arrogance I feel, but from a real understanding that he’s worth a lot himself. And now Isaac can embrace happily his own self-value and what he has to offer, and his ability to do good, that maybe he ISN’T a monster but in some ways a hero, imagine that!

           (Actually, maybe Castlevania really IS a Coming-of-Age tale in a sense. Hector and Isaac’s growth are obvious, we know Trevor and Alucard is admittedly kind of emotionally stunted teenagers who learn to open up and trust, and even Sypha has her moments where she sees how the world can really suck –like the end of Season 3- before deciding for herself to have agency and initiative, and not be a bit player in someone else’s story regardless, in addition to openly defying some Speaker traditions like a rebellious teenager, because good for her! A narrative about really learning to take initiative and control of your own story, to live life for yourself, DOES seem very Coming-of-Age now does it?)

[fratboykate]

Girl you really think I'm gonna read your whole ass essay on my ask, truth remains you are a fake ass hypocrite and I'm embarrassed for you to claim you're a wlwoc but always somehow defending your mayonnaise faves and defending the byg trope in favour of your precious whitey ships, all the receipts are literally all there on your blog like??? How you gonna be furious about lexa's death (a supporting role who was there for like 8 eps) but defend 4 whole seasons of ke obviously queerbaiting and luring lgbt viewers in with villaneve but having the lesbian killed off in the exact same manner like with lexa, v getting murdered minutes after she consumated her rs with eve??? Girl that's so pathetic and embarrassing i feel nothing but pity for you, imagine respecting your fanon whities more than an actual canon wlwoc (just a reminder-sandra is asian) because you like to forget that it was aside from homophobic also racist af to have the asian main left alone to continue her normal straight life because dykie was trouble lmao literally your whole brand is defending some het white creators and making fun of real lgbt people, imagine having so much self hate, it's tragic babe. get some psychological help because your manipulative shit is next level crazy. Besides you're pretty fucking old maybe slow it down on the lesbophobia and racism and stick to knitting and writing your fanon marvel hets and leave us be outraged about this shitfest they pulled on us. I don't want you anywhere near our lgbt community, flip-flop rat.

This is truly SO FUCKING FUNNY at this point.

You send the most inane, cringey ask and then you refuse to read the response because you know you got hammered? Clownery. Full-on clownery.

Now you're just straight up making things up. I've never defended anything. I've never talked about race ONCE. I've never even talked about the actual contents of THIS show, the ship itself, or these specific characters lol. There are no receipts because not a single thing you're talking about here ever happened. You're full of shit. It's all lies. You haven't said a single factual thing. Not a single one.

Also, for someone talking about a big game and talking about "getting psychological help" it's pretty fucking low that you clearly know just a few days ago I was talking about being in a pretty bad mental place because of my bipolar disorder and here you are...OVER A FUCKING TV SHOW...pushing someone to go kill themselves. Grow the fuck up, dude. This is exactly the infantile and toxic bullshit behavior I was talking about. This is you proving my point effortlessly. You're Exhibit A of everything that is wrong with fandom today. Congratulations, you played yourself.

[rainbowsky]

Hi I read an anon asking about DD being a bad boy in ff and your answer of gender stereotyping is so apt. There is one thing i seriously don't get. Making yibo's character as puppy always following zhan, pampering him, always the one hurting, sometimes too pathetic, attributing a lot of traits of lwj also. People fit their own narrative of their (GGDD) relationship in their ff, which is not wrong to a point but when majority of them do it, I think it should be discussed, maybe as trait stereotyping or something. I wish people would understand that pampering someone or being smitten doesn't warrant them to be the receiver of angst due to their partner's decisions and doesn't have to be included as the common narrative. It hurt sometimes to read DD as shown weak, crying, defenceless, stuck on the whims of his partner. I believe GG in real life is not wwx or someone who takes decisions of their relationship alone and leaves the other to carry the burden and impact. I would love to read fics where DD has an equal power emotionally and decision making opportunities regarding their relationship.

This is in reference to a previous post.

I think people are free to write whatever they want and there’s no pressing need to ‘discuss’ or examine things necessarily. We are free to talk about it if it interests us, and we are free to dislike certain tropes or approaches, but authors should never be shamed or pressured into doing our bidding. Fan fiction is an open field. Some authors will choose to take concerns about representation into account when they’re writing, others will not. Both are equally valid.

I’m pretty open to letting an author take me where they want to take me, regardless of how they frame the relationship. As long as the story is well-written and doesn’t contain elements that I’m not into (ABO, gender switch, underage, Mpreg, non-con, etc.) I’m perfectly happy to go along for the ride.

There are some stories that characterize GG or DD in ways that at face value might seem offensive - for example, GG as an incredibly neurotic, even manipulative person or DD as ruthless and cold - that I've really enjoyed. I don’t enjoy those stories because I believe that’s how GG and DD are, I enjoy them because they are interesting and well-told.

Remember, fiction is fiction. It’s no reflection of who they are as actual people.

It’s funny, actually, because I see people complaining about GG being feminized and made passive a lot more than I see people complaining about DD being shown as weak or puppy-like. There’s clearly a lot of fic out there that switches that dynamic up enough to be deemed offensive by some. Perhaps you aren’t looking hard enough? You can check out my fic recs here. I update the list regularly.

I understand your frustration, though, I really do. I think there are a lot of fans who infantilize DD and feminize GG and oversexualize both of them, and who don’t seem to be able to separate fictional characters from real life, but it needn’t affect us too much. There’s not much use in fretting over people doing things online that we disagree with. They are free to practice their fandom in whatever way they want, and they’re free to interpret GG and DD in whatever way they want. Just as we are free to block, ignore and move on.

[killian-whump]

I don't know what kind of secret info fans don't want to share but let me tell you, in real life I'm very close to a very well know and famous music star. We've been friends all our lives and I can tell you, famous people keep their important personal info a secret. Whatever they say in public, interviews, cons or whatever is info they want/need to share. There are no "accidents" there. They won't share "secret" or private info with fans at a convention even if they say so. It's part of the show

Yeah, I agree with you. I've been on the "inside loop" of a celebrity's world before and it goes exactly like that. It's also how I know (as I'm sure you do, as well) that when things are known that are truly not for fans' knowledge - they don't get talked about. People who actually know shit, let alone the celebrities themselves, don't play "I know something you don't know" or "I'll tell this random stranger this thing, but expect them never to tell another soul" games.

Fans talk. Granted, some don't... but most do. And a celebrity has NO way of knowing which are which. A fan paying an exorbitant sum to meet them doesn't tell them. Some rich ass folks have big ass mouths to match. Talking to a group of fans in a meet & greet doesn't tell them, either. Anyone can act like a compassionate, trustworthy person for 20 fucking minutes.

Celebrities and their friends/family don't tell truly private info to complete strangers and expect silence. It just doesn't happen.

Generally, when celebrities tell fans things that aren't public knowledge, it's because they want their fans to know that thing without the celebrity having to declare it to the whole world. It's a valuable tool that celebrities know how to use to their best benefit.

Almost always, when a celebrity prefaces a reveal to a fan with something like "don't tell everybody" they mean don't mention it publicly. Don't post it on your blog for everyone to read. Don't call up The Sun and tell them about it. Don't start it trending on Twitter. Keep it on the down low.

But they do not usually (ever?) mean "Don't tell another living soul, especially any of my other fans, because I trust you - and only you! - and none of them." That's bullshit. It doesn't happen.

I've asked around, amongst the people I trust to give me straight info, to see if anyone was there - not to find out what he said, but to find out what he said about what he said. I still don't have any idea, so I can't say whether what he said is being taken wildly out of context or if he genuinely said something that made it sound like he "didn't mean" to share and actually wanted no one to breathe a word of it... but like you said, even if it sounded that way, I doubt it was legitimately the case.

I do now know what was said about his proposal to Helen, and let me tell you - the idea that this was any kind of "big secret reveal" is insane. It's a tiny tidbit, barely even any info at all, that I'm sure he was fine with sharing, and is fine with fans knowing. As usual, the man shares ONLY what he wants to and what he's comfortable with, and I don't buy the fandom's infantilization of him by insisting that he gets "coerced" or feels "on the spot" and reveals things he's not comfortable with. I think that's straight-up bullshit. He can and does put the kibosh on questions he feels are too invasive - and even did so immediately after dropping the non-info about his proposal to Helen in that panel.

Anyway, the whole thing is ridiculous. The whole fandom has noticed and is wondering why he's pretty much AWOL at the moment. Fans are constantly begging him to post here or do this or whatever... It's in his best interests to give his fans a reason for this, so they'll stop asking and demanding things of him for a bit and be more understanding of his silence without giving up on him and leaving his fandom. So he gives a group of fans a reason, asks them to keep it on the downlow, and they take it to mean "I only want, like, 20 of my fans to know this, God forbid all my fans find out so sharing it would actually achieve anything" and don't bother telling anyone else. *slow clap* Thanks for nothing.

Anyway, if any of you were there, I wanna know what was said - NOT what he shared, but what he said about what he shared that made y'all think this needed to be kept under Fort Knox style lock and key.