#fandom reflections

[rainbowsky]

Award nominations - my thoughts

There has been a lot of uproar about the Magnolia Awards nominations. Here are my thoughts.

Disclaimer: I'm going to preface this by talking about a life lesson I refuse to learn (to the dismay of those closest to me). The lesson is, "Don't make yourself a target." That can often mean, "Don't speak your mind if your perspective differs from popular opinion" or in this case, "When people are upset, don't put yourself in the position to become the outlet for all their anger."

But I respect diversity of opinion, and that means I want to hear from a variety of perspectives on an issue and I suspect some of my readers do as well. So I hope everyone can remain open to hearing things they might not agree with, and respect each other's views. I also want to add that everything I say here is about me and my views - not a commentary on anyone else or their views.

I also think it's important that I make clear that I have not yet seen War of Faith. I'm relying on reviews and on reports from other fans, from my friends, and from my sister for my understanding of the drama and the performances actors gave.

A bit of background

For those who aren't aware of this issue, I'll try to outline the broad strokes of it all.

The Magnolias are prestigious drama awards in China, somewhat on par with the Emmies. For months now there has been a lot of buzz building about the possibility of a nomination for GG and The Youth Memories, and/or for DD and War of Faith.

The nominations came through today, and there was just the nomination for War of Faith for Best Drama. DD was not nominated, but Wang Yang was nominated for Best Leading Actor.

A lot of fans and even a few passers-by have been very vocally upset about this, saying it's a snub to DD and his excellent performance. Some have even characterized it as a huge betrayal of DD to nominate Wang Yang, who was really only a supporting actor, over DD, who was the real leading actor.

There have been claims that DD wasn't even put forth for the award by the producers, which has made fans even more angry. Many are attacking the producers, speaking out against DD appearing in a proposed season 2 of the series, and threatening backlash if the producers celebrate the nominations the drama received.

Checking the facts

As far as I can tell, here's what we know for sure:

The drama was co-billed with three leading actors: Wang Yibo, Li Qin and Wang Yang.

While DD's character was the protagonist of the drama, he wasn't billed as the sole male lead for the series.

All three leading actors gave solid performances.

We do not know for sure whether Li Qin's or Yibo's names were put forth for the awards. I personally can't think of any reason the producers would hold back on submitting everyone they can for the awards. The more nominations and wins the drama gets, the better for everyone involved.

Edit: according to a document purported by fans to be the official record of the names put forward for awards, Yibo, Li Qin and Wang Yang were all put forth as leads, which is in line with the billing each had in casting.

Fans are treating this as damning evidence that the producers unjustly put the supporting actor forward as a lead actor, but we have to keep in mind that there are likely contractual and legal considerations here. If somebody is cast in a leading role, then they have rights to be billed and promoted as such. We know that Li Qin and Wang Yang were both billed as co-leads.

Edit 2: The studio and producer have released statements where it was confirmed that all the lead actors were put forth for the awards.

My thoughts

I understand the disappointment fans feel when one of our boys is passed over for accolades and recognition. We're all invested in their well-being and success. However, I don't think it does any of us - and especially not DD - any kind of service to get upset and up in arms over something like this.

There are some really good reasons to believe that DD would not be thanking people for reacting the way they have:

It is an insult to Wang Yang and the performance he gave, which from what I understand, was outstanding. DD would not want his colleague's successes to be in any way diminished by the behavior and attitudes of his fans. It's not the kind of person he is.

It's disrespectful to the project as a whole. As I've said before, "A rising tide lifts all boats." The fact that the drama was nominated at all is to DD's great benefit. Turning something positive into a negative doesn't serve any productive purpose.

This makes DD look really bad, frankly. We shouldn't fail to recognize the irony of burning down the internet with cries of, "DD's being treated like a traffic star rather than the great actor he is!!" "He was snubbed!" "What a betrayal!" Nothing makes DD look more like a traffic star than fans behaving this way. This is classic fan culture behavior. We want DD to be recognized as a serious actor, but we simultaneously rely on traffic idol data and numbers to try to 'push his case', and claim he's 'being used for traffic' rather than ourselves respect his serious role in this drama.

This type of awards entitlement is not DD's style. Quite the contrary. He is an extremely humble, hardworking guy who likely cringes at the idea of people being outraged on his behalf in a situation like this.

Everything good that happens for this project, whether it's directly connected to DD or not, benefits DD. Everything bad that happens - every bit of bad publicity - harms DD.

This is a propaganda drama that's of significance to the ruling party. This type of fan behavior in relation to it has the chance of really harming DD and his career. Just like the whole debacle with GG's fans and their reaction over Ace Troops, this is not the kind of thing people should be doing.

From what I've learned about the Magnolias, these awards are given to established career actors. Young actors and newer actors do not tend to get nominated for these awards.

Like it or not, DD is a newcomer with a career that's still in transition. He has a lot of talent and some great successes under his belt, but he is still pretty green as an actor. Wang Yang has a career that goes back 20 years. DD has only been a serious actor for maybe a quarter of that time. It was unrealistic for fans to expect the tiger to change its stripes just for him.

This is not some nasty conspiracy against DD, this is just the reality of the industry he is in. Major awards tend to go to established career actors - both in China and globally. We should know this by now.

As far as I can tell, DD isn't being 'singled out' in any way. He's being treated like any other newcomer; being expected to 'pay his dues' just like everyone else.

DD is young, he has his whole career ahead of him. He is so talented and hardworking - he WILL win major awards. The fact that almost every project he's involved with gets nominations and awards is a very good sign, and ensures he will continue to get solid opportunities to show his skills. He's clearly picking good projects and performing well in them. Directors and producers will take notice of that and want to work with him.

He is on a normal - even exceptionally strong - career trajectory. Given his successes we should be very happy for the trajectory he is on. He will continue to work hard, get good roles, perform well and grow his audiences and his credibility among those audiences.

On a personal level

I love DD so much. He has something truly special about him. I want to see him do well, and for others to see and recognize what's so great about him.

He deals with an outrageous level of hatred and slander from antis, some of it truly makes me sick to my stomach. Nothing would make me happier than to see him be in a position to slap those assholes in the face with prestigious awards and recognition for his talent.

Of course I was dismayed when he wasn't nominated, just as I was dismayed that GG wasn't nominated.

However, I recognize that for what it is - a personal emotional reaction. Ultimately nothing that has happened here appears to be unjust or underhanded. Disappointing, perhaps, but not a conspiracy, not a betrayal.

Quite the contrary. DD's drama was nominated for 5 awards including Best Drama! We should be celebrating. There are probably hundreds of dramas that hope for this type of recognition every year, and DD's was one of those chosen among the very few nominated.

It makes me sad to see something positive being turned into a negative in this way. For all the reasons I outlined, I think it's misguided and could come back to bite DD hard in the ass.

Just my opinion. Hopefully once everyone has simmered down a bit we can all take a second look at this and find another perspective. One that is more worthy of DD as the humble human being he is.

[cobaltsoulsearcher]

Finnish February (following prompts from @thepromptfoundry)

Like a lot of others, my first fandom was Harry Potter. Which really kind of sucks, to be honest. It was my consuming special interest for 6 years and gave me so much; it was my introduction to fanfiction, roleplay, and fan music, as well as fan studies in general. The marauders fandom was instrumental in defining myself as queer and podcasts like Harry Potter and the Sacred Text and Witch Please exposed me to religion and marginalized studies and overall had a huge impact on my life. After everything was revealed with JKR, I felt devastated; and then again when I found out about Ministry of Magic (the band); and then again when stuff got worse with JKR; I tried so hard to replace it, to get equally into HDM, Tolkien, Werewolves, Math, and I couldn’t force my Brian to move on. Eventually, over three years, I weaned myself off anything that gave JKR money, and then everything official, and then fanwork altogether. It was genuinely a mourning process and greatly impacted my wellbeing in terms of having a safe space and my moral OCD. Sorry that this is depressing: fandom is amazing. I just wish my first experience had reflected that, given that that is what I hope it should be like for everyone

[alyxinfact]

Featuring: Phoenix/Edgeworth! Nick & Maya friendship! Dogs! Realizing you and your crush have been basically married the whole time!!

Summary:

Phoenix has always been better making logical leaps with niche, circumstantial evidence than at seeing what’s right in front of his face.

Originally published back in July, but hadn't shared here. Some reflection / commentary under the cut.

Feeling a bit sentimental today about this fic! It's not a Christmas fic, but there is a key scene that takes place around this time. And more than that, we are juuust about at 6-months-to-the-day of when I started writing it.

I went into 2022 wanting to consciously make time for art and writing. It's so, so easy working full time to let creative efforts slip away. I didn't notice it happening. One day I just looked down and realized I... wasn't even doodling in my notebook anymore during meetings. I wasn't making anything. I needed that to change.

In late spring, a friend mentioned the AA trilogy was on sale.

I've loved AA since the 00s, but it'd been a long time since I played. (That's right, I'm one of those fans that was horribly betrayed by AA4! There's a whole essay of its own to unpack there, but for now let's just say it plays much differently 15 years later. :) ) Going back to these characters I love has been so much fun! It's honestly completely taken over my brain, but I'm here for it. And I'm making so much art!

I've probably done more creative work in the past 6 months than in the past 6+ years combined. (Really -- the last doodles I had saved in Procreate were from 2014. I had to get a new stylus because my last one had sat uncharged for so long the battery was like "guess you won't be needing me ever again vOv" and remade itself into a paperweight.) All because of Ace Attorney!

And this fic kicked it all off! So thank you to everyone who's read my fic or enjoyed my art this year, and thank you to everyone who's written fics or made art for me to enjoy in turn. I like this little decades-old fandom. It's a cool place, with cool people. And there's still so, so much room to explore! So many angles to look at things from! So many situations to throw the characters into!!

I'm looking forward to it :)

[motleystitches]

So there's an entire fake history about Russia on Wikipedia (articles started in Chinese, translated to other languages including English)

It was uncovered by a writer who was doing some casual research on a potential novel about medieval Russia. There are maps, timeline, fake characters, fake bibilography, sockpuppets! In sum, there are about 200 articles of the most detailed world building exercise over the course of ten years because someone's lonely. (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Zhemao_hoaxes). The problem is, of course, it was presented as real history.

Now, that's the PRE-AI world.

[chaosinthemultiuniverses]

Loki show is juat overfilled with romantic tropes, especially S2. Music, camera angles, colours, their actions, situations Loki and Mobius get together, body language, subtle signs, implications of the words they're saying to each other but unable to go more sincere because it's homophobic Disney they are on. It all hugely reminds me of Supernatural and Destiel, "they silenced him (Dean)" fan movement after 15x18 released three years ago.

Even with all those signs I kind of new it was all a bloody queerbating. Like in Supernatural, 12 years in a row. And when Castiel has finally made "a homosexual declaration of love" (as Misha Collins called it in his livestreams and on panels during conventions), he died. "Vlassic Hollywood 'kill all the gays' trope" which are another bitter words Misha used to describe that bittersweet and heartbreaking scene from that episode.

Misha had been desperately fighting for that line for all his years on Supernatural, being almost alone. In "Loki," Tom or Owen don't fight for Lokius the same way Misha did for Destiel, so realistically, rationally speaking, I always knew it won't become canon. Just because studios are still that homophobic, they put toxic, manipulative relationships with the character's other self above a healing, beautiful, soul-saving, inspiring, healthy, character-growing, fresh and the most important, sincere and based on unconditional trust, relalationship where both allow themselves to be vulnerable around each other and trust one another with that. Only because the former is a hetero, and the latter is same-sex. Smh.

Both Lokius and Destiel are example how true love "can pierce throughthe veil of death and save the day," it's another bravest quote from Supernatural. They were insane for putting such lines without intention to make main SPN pairing a canon, if it weren't for Misha's dedication to Destiel.

Maybe if Tom or Owen (or both of them) foufght for Lokius the same way, we would have got a chance. I'm just saying, not judging. I totally understand why they show their support to it subtly, carefully. I like it too.

In conclusion, I want to say I'm just a simple fan. I just want healthy relationships to win over toxic ones. At least in TV shows, since I don't see it in real life. And to finally see a proper representation of queer relationships that lead to character growth and a happy beautiful life of two adults being deeply in love, regardless of their sex and/or gender. I want it to be normalised.

Dear Disney,

about this:

The fit check and hair slick thing are romantic tropes in film:

See?

Now, you are film makers. I take it you have all the experience and the know-how there is when it comes to TV and film. So, when you use these tropes, I have to assume that you want to tell us one of two things: Either you want to show us that there is a romatic story to be expected between two characters or you want us to believe that there is one when in fact there isn't. In this case (this case being Loki), that could be considered queerbaiting.

[curioscurio]

I'm rewatching Steven Universe and I will never forgive Fandom for what it did to her

[synthsays]

Chamber of Reflection - Mac DeMarco

[aroaceleovaldez]

apparently pjotv twt was being weird about book!Percy's eyes being green because they don't think the ocean can be green (???) so consider this a sequel to my Grace siblings eye colors post and here is some visual references of green water for all your Percy inspo needs:

And for reference, the water around New York-ish where Percy is usually is somewhere around this color:

or some alternatives:

or here is a nice hazel green if you want his eyes more on the brown side, which is very common in freshwater ponds and streams:

or if you want him to have totally brown eyes - water rich in tannins will appear brown, greenish-brown, or very dark brown - this is sometimes called "blackwater" due to often appearing very dark or having low visibility:

[rainbowsky]

Someone sent me the video a couple days ago and I didn't even know what I was looking at until they told me they thought that it was DD. It wasn't DD. 🤦🏻‍♂️

And you don't even need to see the video to know that. Anyone with two brain cells to rub together should know that DD is not going to show up at Hengdian of all places (the single most heavily stalked and leaked location in all of China), to a set that has multiple leaks daily, and saunter around without a mask. Any turtle who thinks that's even remotely possible is seriously beyond help.

Not only do some fans think it was DD, but some think they see the person feed food into GG's mouth with their fingers. FFS, people are reading too much fanfiction if they think that that's even remotely ever going to happen on a set and get leaked to the public.

I swear the same kind of people who buy into this ridiculous nonsense are the same people who thought that the assistant fic was real. People who are so wrapped up in their own fanfiction fantasy about GG and DD that they've lost all sight of reality and don't even see them as human beings anymore.

If you can't respect GG and DD enough to put their humanity front and center as a fan, then you've completely lost the plot.

There's a huge difference between sharing Untamed BTS and giggling about their interactions back then, and spreading around some leaked video from GG's filming set and claiming you see DD in the clip. If you can't see the difference between those two actions then there's something seriously wrong with you.

On the set of the Untamed they were working together, and both consented to being filmed for BTS clips as part of the production process. The footage is 6 years old and ancient history.

GG's current filming set is a private place of work. Sharing any leaked footage, no matter who you think appears in it, is deeply disrespectful of GG and everyone who works with him. Quite apart from any claims about who appears in the video, sharing leaks from their sets is one of the biggest no-nos as a fan.

But sharing footage that you genuinely believe shows the boys together and then giggling about it like it's some kind of candy... you have no business calling yourself a turtle. End of story.

Even rumors like this can endanger them, we should all know this by now.

And like I said before, use your head. There's no way that DD is going to show up at Hengdian and hand feed GG food. It's never going to happen except in somebody's fan fic. Give your head a shake. I would be embarrassed for people who believe this kind of thing if I wasn't too horrified by their behavior to feel anything else.

These are the most depressing and disappointing days of being a turtle. It's garbage like this that makes me seriously consider just packing up and walking away. I don't want to be a part of any group that is this deluded and credulous, and this disrespectful of GG and DD. It's the international fans behind this kind of stupidity who give turtles a bad name.

i was supposedly gonna address this by end of month and with my april candy round up but i think might as well do it now. only because it is being shared primarily on international platforms and i feel the need to put out this reminder. i wouldn’t even dream about controlling how one chooses to participate in this fandom but sometimes people need a wake up call.

so, there has been a video going around of GG filming Legend of Zanghai and there is a staff there that people are saying is WYB. it showed this person talking to GG while he is on standby and shooting etc. first of all, these two are notoriously good at hiding and being professional in their workplace. especially now. i doubt they will flaunt each other on set with one acting like a PA for the other. not only that, they both hate to cause any disturbance on set or have unnecessary eyes on them — much worse, gossip, so this is a no.

and in the very low chance that it is WYB or that whatever rumor we have of XX visiting XXX on set is true, the last person who should be outing their secret meetings shouldn’t be turtles. if there is one thing i really miss from the beginnings of this fandom is how much people protected them. even if at times we became obnoxious, you know that the reason is because we wanted to keep them safe. nowadays, i feel like more turtles don’t even care at all. they will show off anything to prove a point. but at what cost? seriously, how far would you go? how much disregard for their rights as human beings will you allow?

which leads me to the main problem here: sharing leaks. i personally sometimes can’t avoid it, especially on weibo cause it depends on who you follow, it will come up. or worse, the leaked videos/photos goes on hot search. xz has been very local against proxy shooting for this project so idk why some turtles continue to disrespect his wishes. it’s one thing to see it accidentally, but for international fans to share it and then make it out to be this “scandalous” video proof is so questionable. what makes them different from professional weibo paparazzis who out celebrity couples? who follow them in their homes and even their parents? how are they different from ss who put trackers on their cars and obsess over their personal itinerary? it’s so sus to call yourself a fan who care about them but applaud this kind of behavior. these kind of fans honestly don’t see xz and wyb as people. leave them the fuck alone. i don’t think i can stress that enough. let’s speculate all we want from the materials they willingly give us and try not to make it harder for them to live their personal lives.

i understand how material like that can make someone happy and affirmed but think about them first.

and if you are someone who needs solid video proof to support the boys and be on the bjyxszd train, then please leave this fandom now. i can tolerate alot of behaviors but never ones that endanger them like this. this need for constant validation is dangerous. it’s their relationship, not ours. they are real people and not fictional characters.

[salamispots]

glint

[emiplayzmc]

Doodles based on conversations about Twisted Glisten and Rodger with @tdlizardowo :3. Mainly with the Mini AU thing I doodled the other day where Rodger does solo runs down to the Twisted floors to meet with Glisten.

|| "Well, what do you normally do when I'm gone?"

|| "Wait for you to get back..."

Based on an idea we had that Glisten literally just. Sits outside the elevator waiting for Rodger to return whenever he leaves. Probably sits with his head turned to the side so he can listen against the wall for the elevator moving in the shaft.

|| "he's gonna come back for this isn't he

he wouldn't leave this it's his favourite briefcase he wouldn't leave it

if he comes back for this that means he comes back for me right

he's coming back right

|| please please please please please don't leave me alone again please"

We also made the headcanon that when Rodger was first going to see Glisten and trying to get his trust back with him, Glisten had such low self esteem and such high anxiety at that point that he thought literally anything was holding more importance in Rodger's eyes than himself. So Rodger would catch onto this and leave items down there with Glisten, the latter of whom would basically hold them hostage until Rodger came back (I also think sometimes Glisten would outright take to nicking stuff off him to hold hostage as well, something he felt was significant enough that Rodger would come back for it had he lost it).

Rodger would slowly get Glisten to realise that, by doing this little habit and being nonchalant about whether an item goes missing or he leaves something on accident, that he really isn't caring about whether he leaves stuff down here or not - notes, a briefcase, research, whatever - it's *him* that he's returning for, because helping Glisten and keeping him company until he can find a way to cure him or get him safely up to the lobby without other Toons being worried or scared of him is the most important thing to him. Glisten is more important to Rodger than some silly items. :)

(Also I choose to believe the briefcase has lore as being a birthday / debut anniversary gift from Toodles to Rodger that she convinced her Toon Handler to help her get for him)

Also the OG SpongeBob scene for the first image :)

[rainbowsky]

[redacted] asked: Hey there rainbowsky, hope you're doing well :). So, I came across this one [redacted] where a bxg had shared some proof of gg and dd KISSING?? [allegedly (redacted)] Idk if it was caught on cam (if it was then OMG) or if it was caught by proxy shooters, but it looks kinda sus. Can you check it out and see if it's legit? Cause I haven't seen this one circulating on weibo or YT, and my brain feels like it's going to EXPLODE without being able to wash it. I'll attach the link here. Thanks in advance :).

[redacted] asked: Hello rbs ❤️ I wanna know this. There is photos of wyb and xz kissing in parking lot. And they take down after that. Is it true. ??

Hi you two!

Yeah, the GGDD 'parking lot incident'. Fans get really excited about stuff like this. Well, here are the photos so you can decide for yourself:

Both of these are much clearer than the alleged 'parking lot kiss'.

😅 Sorry, I really do have a point though.

The photos behind this and many of the other supposed sightings of GGDD together are so blurry you can hardly make out humanoid shapes in them, and even if you suspend disbelief and accept that the shape might be a person, it could literally be anyone. The only thing we ever have to support the idea that it might be GG and DD is the word of the stalker scum who claims to have taken the photo/video. And they have a lot to gain by lying about it, or even staging these sorts of things and making the accompanying material conveniently blurry and indistinct.

Consider the source and what they might have to gain by lying. Consider the possibility that the source might themselves have been misled or misreading what they were seeing. Consider the power of mob mentality and wishful thinking. Consider whether you need someone else to tell you what you're looking at in order to be able to even 'know' what you're looking at, and what that might say about the BS level involved. Consider whether you have any evidence at all in front of you.

And I'd like to remind everyone that this kind of thing is a knife that cuts both ways. If we're willing to take seriously a blurry photo where we can't even make out humanoid shapes let alone identify who those people might be or what they might be doing, then what's going to happen when antis show us a fake photo that they claim depicts an actress wearing a bone necklace, for example?

Please be careful out there, and learn to evaluate 'evidence' in a rational, critical way. There are plenty of free resources for learning critical thinking, and even many free university level courses available online. I can't possibly overstate the importance of understanding these concepts - not just as a fan but as a person trying to navigate an increasingly fact-averse world.

Where are GG and DD in all this?

But on to the bigger issue with this particular type of material, which is our attitudes toward GG and DD's privacy and well-being.

I've talked about this a lot over the years, and I've even answered this exact 'parking lot' question multiple times in the past (this claim isn't from 2024, it's actually many, many years old - I think it goes back as far as 2019 IIRC). This kind of invasive BS is far, far beneath our dignity to explore and dig into. I hope we can all strive to be better people than this.

If GG and DD were actually ever photographed kissing in a parking lot somewhere, would you not think the kinds of people who would get excited about this and share it around and breathlessly comment on it are total assholes? Because I certainly would. This is stalker behavior, and people having a wank off of an invasion of GG and DD's privacy. It's putting fandom insecurities and 'proof-seeking' above GG and DD's well-being.

As fans we should always have GG and DD's best interests at heart. There is no leap of logic where going after this kind of thing can be perceived as being in any way in GG and DD's best interests.

We shouldn't be dupes, we shouldn't be stalkers. Please always remember that GG and DD are human beings, not characters in a drama. If we don't see photos of them together it's because it's not in their best interests to be seen together. Sit with that for a moment. Take it to heart.

I know this kind of response from me can feel harsh to some people, but I really feel that these ideas will be totally self-evident to anyone who centers the humanity and well-being of GG and DD in their fandom experience. It's sad when people's first thought isn't for GG and DD's safety and privacy, especially when we're talking about a gay couple under a queer-hostile government.

Whether the photos are real or not, the attitude we have toward them and the way we discuss them creates a climate and a standard for how fandom handles such things. Treating this type of thing as exciting and salacious rather than as invasive and disrespectful gives people social license to pursue and share stalker material. It helps fans disassociate GG and DD from their humanity and treat them as objects or fictional characters rather than as people.

I understand that it's easy to get swept up in things and I don't want you to feel judged or disliked by me. I don't feel that way at all - I truly don't - and I hope you don't take my feelings about this topic personally. I just get so angry when I see stuff like this.

You are by no means the first people to get caught up without thinking, and you won't be the last. I just hope you'll reflect on it and understand why it's not a good path to go down if you want what's best for GG and DD.

I firmly believe that everyone should engage in fandom in whatever way best aligns with their values and interests. I just think that choice should ideally be a conscious, informed one.

Sorry for not answering these individually, but they're the same question and some of the information in one of them needed to be removed. I've also removed your names out of respect for your privacy.

Related posts:

Protecting GGDD, and candies and material I won’t discuss on my blog

Just. No.

The bone necklace

BXG Fandom Etiquette

Why it's important not to share harmful material

[frownyalfred]

the funny thing about tumblr is that sometimes 16 year olds will get on here and tell you with the confidence of a thousand suns that you are the worst person in the world and you should kill yourself….babe have you heard of ISIS??

[communistkenobi]

like god you guys need to get like a government stipend for explaining racism and colonialism to fandom bloggers or at the very least a big red button to press that kills them immediately bc like I remember last summer trying to talk about colonialism in star trek (a very basic observation) and that was some of the most intensely negative reactions I’ve gotten from people on here about fandom in years lol. truly don’t know how you do it on a daily basis. I can imagine the constant sense of alienation whenever interacting with people who are basically just telling you to leave their digital whites-only neighbourhood

[viinchester]

Haunted Reflections

Warnings: References to Violence and Murder, mentions of Stalking, Trauma (related to losing a limb & violent incidents), Obsessive Thoughts, Unhealthy Behavior, graphic descriptions in thoughts of Gore (Violence, Bloodshed, a bit of Body Mutilation), Moral Ambiguity (we're talking about Brian Moser here, hello?), Insults (like a single word lol), mentions of Drugs (two sentences, nothing about taking them), mentions of Death

Fandom: Dexter (TV Show/Series)

Pairing: Brian Moser/Rudy Cooper x F!Reader

Request by: @ireallydontknowohcrabs

Summary: You head to your routine appointment for a readjustment of your prosthetic leg at the Miami prosthetics clinic. This time, however, you are met with Rudy Cooper instead of your usual doctor. Unbeknownst to you, his dark secrets lie hidden beneath the surface, and you’ve unwittingly captured his undivided attention and care.

Word Count: 2.321

My Masterlist

A/N: Initially wasn't sure about which direction to go with this request, but I decided on one eventually.😅 It was fun to write, so I hope you guys will it!💞 Reposts/Comments with feedback are, as always, very much appreciated!!🙏🏼 And just as a reminder: My requests are currently open.🥰💙

You expected this visit to be the same as any other to the prosthetics clinic usually was.

You were going to meet Dr. Gardner, the prosthetist who had been with you since you’d first been fitted for your prosthetic leg, and he'd make a slight adjustment to it, and then you'd leave again.

But instead of that being the case, when you walked into the clinic today, you were greeted by someone else. A man, much younger than Dr. Gardner, with a tall frame and dark curly hair stood by the window and was currently slipping on his gloves. The doctor, obvious by the signature-white lab coat he was wearing, calmly turned to you with a professional and slightly reassuring smile.

“Unfortunately Dr. Gardner’s out sick at the moment,” he immediately explained, his voice smooth and composed. “I'm filling in for him, so I’ll be the one handling your adjustment today. My name's Dr. Rudy Cooper, it's nice to meet you.” He shook your hand gently before gesturing to the chair in the middle of the room. “Please, have a seat.”

You nodded, sitting down and rolling the cuff of your pant-leg up, glancing at him curiously. “Well then let’s see if you’re as good as Dr. Gardner at putting me back together.”

Brian gave a small smile as he seated himself across from you, gently lifting your leg to begin his examination on your prosthetic. “I’ll try my best. Dr. Gardner’s very good at it, from what I hear.” His voice was light, but he was already scanning you, taking in the way you moved, the way you spoke.

When his eyes reached your hands, he had to do a double take, his world stopping. Your nails, painted in the exact same way his mother used to paint hers. The hues were extremely similar, and the order of the colors was identical.

It came out of nowhere and hit him like a physical blow. For just a second his breath hitched and his usually steady hands trembled at the sight.

No. It couldn’t be. But it was.

His mother’s nails, now on your hands, like some ghostly echo of the past.

The carefully constructed facade of calm professionalism flickered for a moment as a flood of memories surged through him.

His mother’s laughter, the smell of her perfume, the soft touch of her hand as she ruffled his hair. And then… the blood. Her blood, mixing with the colors of those very same nails.

How could this be happening? He hadn’t thought about his mother in this way for so long, hadn’t let himself remember.

Blinking a few times, he quickly put your leg down and reached for your file instead, fighting to regain control over his composure.

He couldn’t lose it here. Not now. It was just a coincidence anyway. Just some random woman with the same taste in nail polish.

Still, deep down the shock lingered, sending tremors through the carefully walled-off parts of his mind.

He flipped through your file as casually as possible, clearing his throat once to keep his tone friendly, but professional. “Just going over some notes here. It says the injury happened... a few years ago? Could you remind me of what happened, just to make sure everything lines up?”

Forcing a polite smile, the mask of Rudy Cooper slipped into place, though it felt more strained than usual. His eyes couldn’t help but glance back to your nails every time you so much as shifted, the image of his mother — and her terrified eyes, her pleading hands, those painted nails — almost overlapping with you. He could barely hear your voice over the roaring in his head.

Not noticing anything off, you nodded, hesitating for a second. You hesitated, not because the incident was difficult to talk about anymore, but because it had become such a strange story to tell. You’d almost made peace with it, enough to laugh about it sometimes.

“Yeah, it was... a pretty bad day. Tried to steal some drugs. Not for me, though.” You smiled shyly, a hint of awkwardness in your tone. “My idiot ex, thought I could help him out of a mess he got himself into. But then I got cornered by three guys with a chainsaw. Like something out of a horror movie, right?” You laughed a little, but it didn’t quite reach your eyes.

Brian’s hands paused again, but he kept his face neutral, even with the chaos inside him growing. Drugs? That was already close enough to the horrors of his past. But then you mentioned three guys with a chainsaw, and the floor seemed to fall away beneath him. Though his expression didn’t change and he resumed his adjustment on your prosthetic, the memory inside his mind hit him like a sledgehammer, and in vivid detail as well. His mother, the men, the chainsaw whirring. He was too young to stop it, too small to save her, but the memory had never left him. The blood, the screams, the way her nails had clutched at him in desperation before the world went red.

And now here you were, sitting in front of him, your soft voice recounting a version of his nightmare.

Brian exhaled slowly, maintaining a steady voice. “That’s... an intense way to lose a leg. It must have been terrifying.” His words sounded professional, if empathetic, but internally he struggled to comprehend how this was possible. How could you have survived something so reminiscent of what happened to her?

His disbelief mixed with something darker, something predatory. He had been powerless as a child, but not now. Not anymore.

The thought of you cornered by men with a chainsaw, just like his mother, made something in him snap into place. His shock was replaced by cold determination.

It was as if the universe had handed him a second chance, a way to rewrite the past. This time was different. This time, he wouldn’t be helpless. This time, he would stop the violence, before it consumed you, too.

You gave a small shrug and kept talking, oblivious to the storm brewing inside of him. “Yeah, it was... I honestly didn't believe I’d make it out alive. But it’s been a few years now and here I am, still standing. Just… in a slightly different way.” You offered a small, self-deprecating smile. “Guess I’ve learned to adapt. Well, kind of. I’m still getting used to the leg in a way, but hey, I haven’t fallen flat on my face in a while, so I guess that’s progress.” You smiled again, this time more genuine though, trying to lighten the mood. “And at least my ex didn’t get the drugs. Silver linings, right?”

Brian’s gaze darkened slightly at that, though he kept his tone light. “I see. That’s very impressive and brave of you, as I can only imagine how tough all that must have been. I’m hoping your ex is not someone you still have to deal with on top of that?”

You hesitated, biting your lip and avoiding his eyes, a little uneasy at the topic of your ex boyfriend. “Well, actually… he’s, uh, kind of been stalking me, on and off. Nothing too serious, but... it’s still annoying, you know?”

Brian's fingers flexed around your prosthetic, the material fitting securely into place. His eyes, though still composed on the surface, deepened in intensity and became more focused. Your ex was stalking you. Lurking, like a predator. His jaw clenched, and his disbelief at the situation melted away, replaced by a new resolve.

I couldn’t save her. But I can save you.

The idea of this man, your ex, still in your life filled him with an odd sense of purpose. He didn’t care about people, not really, but this was different. You had painted nails. You had suffered violence. You reminded him of her.

He would make sure nobody hurt you ever again. Starting with that ex-boyfriend of yours. Yes, he would definitely be dealt with. Permanently.

And going further, from now on, you would become his patient. Dr. Gardner had served his purpose, but Brian knew, with a chilling certainty, that you wouldn’t be seeing him again. Not if he could help it.

He forced a sympathetic chuckle, masking his true emotions as he continued to work on your prosthetic with his usual precision. “That sounds... frustrating. You’d think he’d get the hint by now.”

“Right?” You rolled your eyes playfully, trying to dispel the tension that came with the subject of your ex. “But I’m fine, really. It’s just one of those things I have to deal with.”

Brian simply nodded, his hands moving delicately, ensuring the fit was perfect, but his thoughts were miles away, plotting, considering what exactly he needed to do next to make sure you'd no longer have to do deal with it.

He was nothing if not methodical, his mind working like a finely-tuned machine, always planning, always calculating. When it came to taking care of your ex-boyfriend and Dr. Gardner, he would need to use two different approaches, that much was obvious.

Your ex-boyfriend would be the one to pay in blood. The man had been the catalyst for your suffering, the reason you had been put in a situation that mirrored Brian's own mother's gruesome death.

So your ex wasn't going to just disappear, that would be too easy, too nice. Instead, the bastard was going to feel every ounce of pain, every bit of terror that Brian imagined his mother and you had felt. He’d stalk him for days and learn his habits, figure out where he was most vulnerable. And when he’d finally make his move, it would be somewhere isolated, somewhere he could really take his time.

The act itself would neither be quick nor clean. Instead, Brian would make it messy, and visceral. He'd use tools that mimicked the chainsaw that had haunted both him and you. While he wouldn’t use an actual chainsaw, far too noisy and difficult to control, he would choose something just as violent, perhaps a hacksaw or an axe. He would let your ex feel the terror, hear the whir of a blade, and realize that his time was up.

In his twisted mind, Brian believed that you deserved closure. You needed to know that your ex-boyfriend was truly dead. Maybe you wouldn’t know it had been Brian, but you’d know your ex had been taken care of — brutally, and publicly even. The police would find the body, bloodied, hacked apart, left in some abandoned place where no one could escape the horror of the scene. It wouldn’t be a neat kill; it would be a spectacle. The kind that left a permanent mark in the mind of anyone who saw it.

It would be justice for you, and revenge for his mother.

It would be perfect.

You were going to feel safe, knowing that the danger had been wiped out, grateful that the threat was gone.

Dr. Gardner, on the other hand, required a different touch. Brian held no ill feelings toward him, the man simply needed to die out of necessity. But the doctor was a respected figure in your life, and if he simply vanished or died a violent death, you might grieve too hard, or worse, become suspicious. So Dr. Gardner's exit had to be quiet, peaceful, and leave no room for doubt. Brian could easily make it look natural, the man was already old enough that it wouldn’t raise too many questions if he were to die in his sleep anyway.

He'd slip a small dose of potassium chloride into Dr. Gardner’s food or drink, undetectable and mimicking the signs of a natural heart attack. The man would feel a sudden, overwhelming pressure in his chest, his heart seizing painfully — but he wouldn’t be able to cry for help. And in mere minutes, it would be over, and the man would be found peacefully in his bed or his office chair, just another old guy who’d met his end from "natural causes". No one would question it, and you might feel sad for a little while, but definitely not suspicious.

And Brian knew grief over a natural death tended to fade more quickly.

Then you’d return to the clinic in need of further adjustments to your prosthetic in the future, and who would be there for you? Him. The friendly, capable replacement who’d been there all along.

As Brian thought about it all, his hands checked the fit of your prosthetic, his fingers running along the edges.

“Now, hopefully this adjustment will work perfectly for you,” he then said, his voice calm as ever. “If you need anything else, any follow-up, you can come back to me and I’ll take care of it.”

You nodded — still oblivious to anything going on underneath his professional exterior — as you softly smiled up at him and stood up, testing your leg and finding it already fitting better. “Thanks, Dr. Cooper, it’s great, and that’s really nice of you. I’ll be sure to come back if I need any more work done.”

Brian smiled back, but it was colder this time, more possessive. “Rudy, please. And I’ll be here, whenever you need me.”

As you left the clinic, you felt relieved, glad that everything had gone well despite the fact that Dr. Gardner wasn't the one doing your adjustment. Dr. Cooper, or Rudy, had been kind, careful, and understanding. He was a really nice man. Hopefully you'd have him as your prosthetist again if Dr. Gardner ever fell sick another time.

Watching you walk away, Brian was certain of your return. He intended to mold your future so that you would always come back to him.

You may not know it yet, but he was going to ensure you’d never need anyone else, ever again.

[maingh0st]

i know i'm not the first to say this, but the acolyte's cancellation has confirmed how tired i am of disney's decision-making when it comes to their content. i know nostalgia is the easiest way to a big payout, but we can only take so many spinoffs before the universe starts to feel too small. but then fresh content—content that's building on the canon by looking to old star wars lore while asking new questions—fizzles out.

it's the sequel trilogy all over again. we're promised something new, something that actually expands the canon rather than just recycling it, even bringing in concepts from legends, and then the rug is ripped out from underneath us & we're punished for ever caring about any of it. silly babygirl! palpatine was always the big bad (don't worry about the fact that this is thematically nonsense and not foreshadowed in any way), and rey isn't a nobody ("your parents sold you because they loved you"), and this isn't a story about how the force transcends human categories and dynasties (represented by a grey jedi force dyad between a legacy skywalker and a nobody orphan from a backwater planet, fulfilling not only balance between light and dark but also transcending the old to become something new). silly idiot!!! rey's a palpatine by birth and a skywalker by self-adoption and god forbid she create her own identity outside of these names our fans recognize. watch as she stands alone on a sand planet that has no personal significance to her, ending her arc almost exactly as she began. but look!! two suns! neat

i don't even know if fanservice is the right word. at a certain point, it just starts to feel like they're quaking in their boots at the thought of doing anything new. i had my gripes with some of the choices in the acolyte, but at least it was unique. it explored a new era and asked questions that star wars has only ever flirted with. like: what happens to the children who are uprooted from their homes at such a young age, yet can't find their place in the jedi order? how does one survive in a supposedly honorable system that nevertheless relies on the repression of some of humanity's most fundamental emotions? is it possible that an organization dictating exactly how one ought to interact with the very life force of the universe... could perhaps be faulty and shortsighted? what happens when the ways of that order clash with other cultures and worldviews? (spoilers: space colonialism). and that's not even to mention the ideas they play with re: the force itself (vergences! plagueis! force witches!)

i know not everyone loved the show, but a lot of people really did care about it. a lot of people, like me, were excited to see these new questions being raised. but forget it—the disney gods have decreed that it didn't hit some magical threshold of streaming hours or reach a "broad enough" audience in the two months it's been out. but don't worry guys. turn your brains off and tune in for the next spinoff 2 chewy 2 bacca