#I was once 16 on here too
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the funny thing about tumblr is that sometimes 16 year olds will get on here and tell you with the confidence of a thousand suns that you are the worst person in the world and you should kill yourself….babe have you heard of ISIS??
#I know I know#I was once 16 on here too#I swear your frontal lobe will develop#and you’ll look back on this#inspired by the r/ao3 post about antis today lol#self reflection is great#we all do and say dumb shit#shipping#fandom#tumblr#discourse
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What is happening?
#ordering here is cos dee first and last..#very interesting#iasip#chardee macdennis#compilation#sunnyisms#its funny frank has only ever said it ONCE#but they all seem to have their seasons (charlie 10. den 15. dee 16)#dennis has the most with 11 uses#i made gifs for the one off characters too but it kinda messed with the flow of the gif set imo#also like 24 gifs is already a lot#i tried to figure a way to combine some of these but my computer started whimpering so i noped out#oc
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"So technically Grian can meet any version of himself through Xelqua !"
Xelqua becomes the YHS Grian and Grian has war flashbacks (idk I've never watched the series)
YHS isn't canon to EvoAU ! So Grian wouldn't know anything abt that.
Fun fact, even tho I don't include it, its where I got the parent/abandonment issues from.
Xelqua has definitely seen this version (i haven't seen YHS since i was 16, i don't remember it well ^____^ )
#ask#my brain has been pulling me to rewatch it for three days now im itching.#IF im remembering correctly... YHS Grian's parents don't like him#if im not then well idk where i got it from LOL#hes also canonically gay in that series. like grian says hes into guys instead. i wonder what compelled this plot line for him#in my heart hes trans too bc he wears a shirt to the pool. real to me.#i was rly into yhs at 16 but only drew it once bc i was embarrassed abt liking minecraft at that age LMAO#and here i am. almost 25. revisiting. thriving.#I tried to find the drawing but i cannot. it was sam tho. so no loss rly. OOFAJDGKAG#my art#sketching#xelqua changing into valor grian like well actually im not telling you abt this one. moving on.
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im so glad that we never get a clear picture of sophie’s background in leverage & i hope we never do. however i also really like making up various, often conflicting backstories for her in my head. perhaps they’re all backstories for an alias of hers, ones she laid to rest back in season two.
#leverageposting#leverage#sophie devereaux#particularly that one of or both her parents had to move around a lot for work & so she would change herself to fit in at every new school#or new town etc etc. and that whatever original identity she had was dropped due to some kind of really awful event and her bio family think#she’s dead. eg she got into some kind of extreme legal trouble for the first time & she faked her death & everyone she knew as a kid thinks#she’s dead too. like. astrid wasn’t the first person she left to miss/mourn her.#but also that she was a teen runaway at like age ~16 and pretended to be an adult (like. 18/19) cause theres not much you can do by yourself#as a minor like booking flights or renting an apartment. and so began her first proper alias. and she was a pickpocket until she could fund#her life fully through grifting & cons.#or alternatively her parents died when she was a teen & she was old enough to become an emancipated minor (everyone in lev is an orphan)#and she kind of just fell into crime from there bc she had no one#or perhaps she got married at 17 and realised how fucked it all was and stashed money until she could run away & leave it all behind. that’s#bc of a single vague sentence on john rogers’ blog saying she was married at 17 and in context it was quite possibly a joke or random#hypothetical example but i was like what if???? What If???????#i also like the hc that she’s trans which i’ve seen a few times#in some versions in my mind her parents were okay and in some versions they were awful and in some versions it was so complicated.#i think tara has heard one story and parker or hardison have heard another and nate has never heard any story. he’s never asked.#she is here now and that’s all that needs knowing. and sophie devereaux is her real name in any way it matters.#eliot has also never asked and she asked if he was curious once and he just asked if she was curious about What He Did and that was answer#enough for the both of them. just a mutual agreement not to ask and it actually solidified their bond.#i think she struggled for a long time about whether to tell her new family The Real Story but in much the same way we never hear her birth#name bc it’s not Her anymore… she never gives The Real Story. bc it no longer defines who she is. she’s so much more than whatever happened.#lvg
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Cid!! He just looks so good in black
#my art#ffxvi#cidolfus telamon#ff16#final fantasy 16#cid the outlaw#he may look too dapper for an outlaw here but#I just want him to look NICE for once#his outfit is one of my least favorites for the main characters#so I took matters into my own hands as usual
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Are you really 24? you look older but in a good way
I promise I was born in the year 2000
#ive only been 24 for like three months too#but people have thought im older for most of my life#used to get asked what i did for work and id say “im in school”#and theyd say “oh grad school? whats your field??” and id say “no im in high school. im 16”#this legitimately happened more than once#bitts answers#anyway why would i lie about my age on here
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the bittersweet but absolute flood of relief that comes from admitting defeat at living independently, to have to move back in with parents. we tried! we gave it our best shot for almost 3 years! but living like this (being on our own) is just not possible for us at this time of our lives. we've finally proved it to ourselves that we can't do it. it'll be okay to let ourselves rest now
#latimers parents not mine!!!! i am NOT moving back to florida LOL#really hope that the changes will be good for my mental health. this apartment is toxic to us#ive been on the verge of meltdowns Kind Of A Lot lately. imnot doing great#extremely dependent on substances. just to reach a baseline level of functioning. but even that isnt working as much anymore#the only things i do on my phone or tablet these days is like. 2 mobile games. and skirting past my dms to check latimers blog#its too overwhelming to even open discord these days yknow. everything on earth is too much for me right meow#i havent been drawing i havent been social online OR irl i havent been cooking or creating#i havent been keeping up with personal hygiene like at all im particularly ashamed about that one#i've been really bad about doing my T the past few months which is a HUGE shame because im SO fucking hyped to be on it#theres just. too many obstacles in getting it done half the time. and the other half of the time i just forget#anyway. anyway.#our lease ends in july so between now and then we're just gonna try our best to tolerate our living situation enough to get by#there's a light at the end of the tunnel. and its called 'i only have to be in charge of like 2 rooms at most. and not a household!'#we're gonna try to slowly comb through all our things between now and then so the process of moving wont suck as bad#cuz listen. its pretty fucking bad right now#maybe not for other people. but it is for me. and its okay to let myself come to terms with that#im just. so relieved. still very stressed! but theres at least light at the end of the tunnel and its only like 2 months away#ill be able to draw guilt-free again. ill be able to just EXIST guilt-free#i dont think ive felt guilt-free for just existing the way i do since like. turning 20#i know my mom wouldve loved if i stayed home forever. and im sad i cant be there for her#but ever since i had a fight with my dad at 15 or 16 it just really felt like he didnt want me there more and more#maybe as the youngest he was resenting that i was preventing him from becoming an empty nester or something. i dont know#because all the other kids had been moved out and on their own at least once but i had never left home before#i dont know if he'd be heartbroken or not to hear that i feeling like he was resenting me. but thats the energy i was picking up for years#i dunno. i dont know#anyway. back to housing. for now im going to try to relax and store energy for the moving process#the huge pile of things by the kitchen? i dont have to worry about that becoming permanent because we're leaving in 2 months#the general discord of the state of our possessions? we have to go through everything to pack it all anyway. we can move in RIGHT this time#when we moved in here we didnt have a car or license so we were dependent on latimers 3-hr-drive-away parents to help us move#just /across town/. and we had a whole month between leases! but it still had to be done in a weekend
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sorry i’m still annoyed but like we really think if ned would have seen robert hit lyanna with his own two eyes he wouldn’t have done anything. that’s what we’re saying. that’s really what we’re all saying that’s really-
#idk why people are incapable of talking about nedcat’s faults without going to the most deranged option possible#i think if lyanna was 16 and pregnant with Robert’s baby & wrote him a daella esque ‘pls come im scared’#ned would go see what was UP. he’d Probably assume she misses their mother and would bring like. nan or someone to storm’s end#but come on. he abandons storm’s end to a starving & distraught stannis bc he thought she was still alive.#and people will be like ‘he’s an asshole to cersei’ u r ignoring the part where she fucked her brother & he thinks she murdered jon arryn.#THATS why he’s an asshole it’s very clear that the spousal abuse set off insane alarm bells in this man’s mind.#yeah it’s not enough to say stop a marriage between margaery and robert.#but if u think it’s not enough to go now what the fuck do you think you’re doing here robert if robert left a bruise on lya’s face#unserious. go reread the book. once again i’m accusing too many of you of being only children.#getting on my soap box#this post may self destruct if i feel bad enough about it later
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recent things
#With the heatwave combined with being ill for like an entire week it seems I've lost like 16 days this month#where I basically did barely anything... grrr.... The passage of time... My Enemy...#Now that I can finally hold down food and stuff I'm feeling a little better mostly and my sickness has probably passed. But I still#feel weird a little bit like.. some lingering weakness or something. I think I'm just already having so many Problems at all times even in#my 'Normal' state that whenever I get sick or something my whole system is thrown off for a while lol#I'm supposed to be writing like 2000 words a day still ghbjhb... I've had multiple days of maybe 1000 - 1500. And a lot of days#where I write maybe 20 - 300. I've still been chipping away at the same single quest dialogue for all 20 something#days this month so.. AUGH.. Though that also counts the 16 days I did nearly nothing but be sick and overheated#I finally edited that whole big sims video I wanted to post!!! but now there's an issue with it ... T o T#My fault for still almost exclusively using windows movie maker in 2024 lol.. but HHHHhh.. It's like every once in a while randomly#a fully edited video will not be able to be exported. so evil for this to happen to my first sims build tour in a while. but alas..#ANYWAY... I have been slowly working on little things here and there.. in my little scraps of time.. Wishing to be fully productive at#some point. Maybe I can finally finish and post some things soon. like costume photos or sims videos and etc.#BUT HEY.. that solitaire thing is crazy to me.. I don't think I've ever finished a challenge in under 20 seconds#before. huzzah.. tripeaks squad.. OH.. and an image of#curly tail boye.............. he..... I took him to the vet for a check up and he seems surprisingly okay for a 16 year old. except he has#a mild thyroid issue or something so I'll have to give him medicine. But every time he goes in I'm always expecting them to be like#Sorry. Your Son Is Truly Doomed. or etc. so I'm always shocked when he's fine... a strange boy with many strange behaviors#so I can never tell if he's just Being Weird or if he's sick or soemthing ghjbjh#Also the bad thing about never ending summer heat is that when it IS finally cool for a few days. I don't want to do ANYTHING. It's like wh#n it's hot I feel too sick to do anything. And then when it's cooler I'm like 'OUU the first cool day in WEEKS.. i want to just relax and#fully ENJOY the coolness..'' So it's always constant warfare with my body like.. NO ..we cannot SLEEP. We must utilize this small patch#of Non Heatwave to finally be productive and finish things while we don't feel sick. But then it's like ''ohoho...to lay in the cold air of#the morning restfully.. i shall have a little nap with a blanket on for once.. perhaps.. tee hee'' Always at war with the Tired Sleepy#it seems. AAAANyway...... grr............ slowly finishing things. still usually missing my target writing goals..#Hopefully will have some actual art or costumes or something to post soon. Fumbling through the summer weather as usual lol
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can somebody please sound the alarm and get that little bitch from kotaku back on the bioware beat because i desperately need to know how the hell something like veilguard even happens
#im sorry if youre enjoying it#<- not actually how i meant to word that but like... you know what yeah that too lol#bioware negative#for blacklists ig and also -#datv spoilers#in the tags at least bc#when i tell u that fucking 'pick a side mixed child' ass dialogue wheel at the end of taash's thing just#knocked the damn wind out of me when it popped up im screaminggg#god the only explanation i can think is that the whole mmo idea was actually the plan until WAY later than we thought#this really feels like a destiny type multiplayer game that hastily pivoted to being a single player rpg like.... a year ago#half the script sems like it was written in like MAYBE one weekend by 16 different people all at once. girl what is going ON#tbddd maybe im sorry i know havent even posted here in a minute but holy fuck likegnkfvn????#my expectations were literally in hell but bioware bought shovels in bulk and said oh we can go so much deeper
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~ ~ ~
#my dad is starting shit with me again and just continuing fights and bringing up shit that has nothing to do with anything#and even when I try to calm the situation he just gets worse and keeps berating me#I want to get out of the house but my partner hasn’t talked to me all day or even checked our message chat#so I don’t want to bother them or just show up without them saying it’s ok#not that they’d have much problem with it probably but if they don’t acknowledge it I don’t want to startle them or something#and idk what if they are mad at me and that’s why they haven’t talked to me today? or if they’re having a bad day too?#they’re not gonna want to deal with my bullshit if they’re not having a good day either#so that’s another problem to contend with#and I’m also really tired and fatigued already because of some recent health issues and just packing my go bag is wearing me out a bit#I don’t really want to pack up the whole car and drive an hour to their house after midnight when I’m already not doing great#so I know I should just stay in my room and get some distance or do my own thing until I fall asleep#but God I just don’t want to be here anymore#tbh I do kinda wanna be dead and I wish I could do something about that#idk if I’m fully suicidal or anything but it’s like… I want to make my dad see how much he needs me and I want to get a fucking break#I want someone to take care of me and worry about me for once instead of giving up everything to him#I wish I killed my self at 16 like I wanted to so I wouldn’t have ever had to deal with any of this bullshit#I sort of wish I could kill myself now just to be done with all of this#but suicide takes too much planning and hassle these days so what’s the point anyway#I guess I’m just depressed and lonely and all that#I’m sure I’ll be fine in the morning#but right now I just really wish I had someone to talk to and cry on and tell me it’ll all get better soon#personal
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my classes start again 3 weeks from today
#michelle speaks#the thing is that. i have 3 classes + an externship which is 16 hrs a week + i will be on a journal 😭#which is all so much & i like to do nothing all the time this is not conducive to my ideal lifestyle 😔#i did not even have to do the journal at all either but i was like no for once i am going to do an extracurricular & this is one u commit#to so if you join u have to do it so for me that is good bc i will then actually do it instead of being like u know what. nvm!#& then i sit here & think to myself abt how i should not have decided to go into a social profession & i should have picked smth#where i could unironically not in a cottagecore type way disappear into the woods & not interact w anyone#not in a yay i’m frolicking in the woods w my forest aesthetic thing but like i can be alone in peace type way#instead no. i was like no i will do smth where i have to interact w ppl constantly & do things i dont want to & leave my apartment 😭#is it too much to want to be a hermit that dies in my log cabin & no one ever discovers me so i am entombed in my nice little home……like?
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This rep’s math was WAY off. He asked for 48 copies of 16 different posters thinking it was 288 copies. My guy I’m in printer hell that’s 768 copies you dipshit
#I have been printing for HOURS#I started at 9am#I made it through 9/16 on Friday but WOOF#he’s my least favorite sales rep and a massive dick so I love point out when he’s an idiot#I can’t help it 🤧 he was so rotten to me when I started working here#he screamed at my coworker once too#you can’t be rude AND stupid#my stupid job#graphic design
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Ughhhhhhh I hate writing and I hate not writing and I hate myself
#nearly bought a digital typewriter today. actually i DID buy a digital typewriter today. officially yes i have bought a digital typewriter.#the money for the digital typewriter has left my account but i have emailed them to cancel the order because i can't in good faith buy#a digital typewriter when i don't fucking WRITE#i thought it might help me get back into it. distraction free and while allowing me to not judge my own writing#and be continuously editing while i write and going 'i'm crap i'm crap i'm crap no one will ever read this and if they do they will think#that i'm garbage and that i should feel bad etc etc etc'#but it's too expensive and i have the feeling i wouldn't even like or use the thing once i got it#because the IDEAS! the ideas aren't coming to me. or rather they are but none of them seem to stick#i feel underconfident in writing any of them#and then i have old projects that i've always wanted to get back to like the tennis romance thing but SO much has changed since i first#started drafting it. like i don't even know if i like the main couple anymore. i kind of want to put both of them with different OCs of min#but it'd switch up the WHOLE story if i had a different cast#in fact most of the problem lies in the fact that i have this long-running bedtime story i tell myself every night with lore#and a massive cast of characters that i switch out depending on who i'm most interested in right now and every so often i incorporate new#themes and ideas and motifs and plot points sometimes based on media i've been watching because it's MY bedtime story and it doesn't matter#if i plagiarise in my own brain. but then obviously i can't plagiarise in real life#and none of my bedtime stories are GOING anywhere. sometimes i only get through a scene or two before i fall asleep#all of which means my bedtime story is not so much a sweeping epic novel but a sitcom with way too many characters#most of which are werewolves to be honest and sometimes for my own wish fulfilment one of them will walk out of my head#and take care of my problems for me by lending me £1million or murdering my best friend's ex. in my mind obviously#so it's like. it's a case of getting in there and annexing off the stuff i think i can use#it's like yeah i've definitely written several romance novels in my head in the process of this but does it matter if they're IN my HEAD#to be honest i feel like my main strength is in creating characters. like i have this one family of werewolves i've been slowly but surely#adding members to since i was like 16. maybe younger? no yeah i think i made the first one when i was 12#they're compelling to ME anyway. i care about them. it's just PLOTS. i can't plot#if a book could just be a lot of dialogue and sex scenes and silly moments and character studies i'd be alright#i also can't describe settings. don't ask me to because i can't#and now i'm just annoyed with myself because i sat down at my laptop to try to write and instead i'm here complaining about how i don't wri#and if i had the digital typewriter... i mean i'd probably still be doing this i'd just no longer have £300#i don't have the £300 anyway. i hope to christ they refund my card i'm a fucking idiot
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i am losing my mind
#god is testing me this is just a test this is just a cruel joke#vanus thoughts#i’m going to go insane#i seriously dont know what to do i’m so tired of all this#too much is happening at once and at the same time i feel like nothing is happening and i will stay in this place forever#i just want to live in a cottage far far away on a shore that has never been visited and is not on any map so no one from this life can find#me and i will never interact with another human being and i will be lonely but at least i will be free because what the fuck is this#i swear to god when i leave this place i will never come back they might haunt me but they wont hurt me any more than they have#i need a new fucking life new hair new clothes new body new people new love#i will go to a new place#where no one doubts my memory and makes me question myself and makes me stay quiet and no one will force me to act like an adult when i’m 16#and i will rest and heal and work#but i don’t want to be here anymore#why did i pour my heart out into these tags no one will read them#this makes me a little sad
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proud to announce that i finally rewatched s2e5, which was the only barrier between me and the next chapter of grogu and the beroya >:3c
#htonl speaks#i got excited about it too! i'm Inspired Once Again#well okay a decent amount of that was alternately being pissed off about ahsoka's montrals and lekku#and wondering about the logistics of Huge Headpiece#BUT I ALSO GOT EXCITED ABOUT GROGU'S POV so it's cool#hey did u know that some medications make u so so sleepy. and the drs can just prescribe them to u#i've gotten used to it now but other things taking up my writing time include: i live close to my family now#my dad had his cancer surgery! we're watching movies together every weekend bc he's frustrated with not being able to move#he was literally biking 16 miles per outing until the week b4 the surgery#he's 100% fine the biopsy said like 90% chance the cancer hadn't spread beyond the removed organ#but surgery hurts and recovery takes a minute so he's grumpy#before i moved back here i wanted to move closer to lake michigan but i really love being able to hang out with my dad so much......#maybe i will try to find an apartment with a view of a more local lake?#altho if it's not a great lake it's practically a pond >:T
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