#just spilling thoughts

[schoolrust]

Some general inspirations for schoolrust:

Gothic art

Japanese horror

Nostalgia

Thrift/vintage stores

J-fashion ( egl, mori kei, jirai kei, etc.)

Late 2000s/early 2010s urban legends

Urbex (esp industrialized & "outdated" areas)

Grunge

My hometown

[daughterofchaosstuff]

done healing my inner child. next up is my inner teen. her highness demands a sword.

[pink-heart-writes]

[hamoodmood]

In another universe I was happy

[bluryyyblu]

[aashiqeddiediaz]

you know what boils my blood.

over the last 2 weeks, i've seen countless patients walk into my urgent care center, symptomatic for so many things, refusing to get tested for covid and flu, citing that they don't want to knowingly bring it to their holiday tables. i had a patient tell me, verbatim, "i don't want to test for covid, because i don't want to be the asshole who brings it on a plane."

i understand that - i understand that holidays are times where people look forward to meeting loved ones that they might only see once a year, or where they get a break from the hectic back and forth of their lives.

but here's the thing - whether they get tested or not, they will bring whatever they have to their holiday tables. it's pure recklessness to know that you're sick, and walk into someone else's house spreading the disease.

today, january 2, i saw 91 patients, many of them who have tested positive for covid and flu. many of these patients are the same ones who didn't want testing 3 days ago, until their events were over, and now, they will have to reach out to everyone they know to let them know that they were positive because they were showing symptoms well before their event.

the next week or two? we're going to see many, many more, all people with symptoms that started around christmas. these are the only two viruses we test for rapidly in our office, but they are potent and can be fatal in many people.

so here's why i wrote this post, and maybe it's a little late, but - if you care about your loved ones, please get tested if you know you're sick. it doesn't have to be at a clinic if you don't want it to, because the over-the-counter tests work just fine too (if you test within 5-7 days of symptom onset). just...please don't try to run from the knowledge that you might have covid, because immunocompromised people, elderly people, people with co-morbidities like asthma, pregnancy, diabetes, etc...many of them may not recover. and they may not be sitting at your holiday table in the future because of it.

[inkskinned]

we were sitting on the floor and i was cutting out tiny pictures to make a collage for a friend's birthday. you were on your phone and you laughed about something, and i was still in love with you then, so i asked what had you giggling.

"sorry. i was just..." you took a moment and went back to texting. "i was telling someone about how you're afraid of the dark."

i'm afraid of the dark because something bad happened. "oh." i felt a little slinky of shame crawl down my throat.

you glanced up, and maybe it showed on my face, because you rolled your eyes and held the phone to the side casually so i could see the group chat. "what? was it a secret?"

i looked down to the scissors in my hand. "i just..." no, it's not a secret. it just felt like something private, something serious. saying why would you tell someone that just feels like an accusation. it's unfair. i honestly am not even ashamed of it, it's just a fact about my person that i don't usually share.

what a strange experience. is this a human thing or a generational thing? for our grandparents: did they need to worry about how quickly someone can just... share your personal information? again, i didn't even really have a true objection. what could i say? i want any person in my life to feel they can be honest with their friends. it's not like i said don't tell anyone this.

i cut out another letter to complete the rainbow happy birthday, started hunting for the exclamation mark. i heard you sigh dramatically.

"don't make a big deal about this," you said.

this entire conversation was a pattern for us, and this was when we got to my least favorite part of the pattern. i would get my feelings hurt in some oblique not-technically-terrible way, and then it would be making a big deal about something. you'd get frustrated for me for being soft, but i was born soft. you knew i was soft when you pierced me. it's one of the things that made controlling me so easy.

"i'm not," i felt my voice crack. the question came without my wanting. "why are you guys talking about me?" and why are you saying that thing? why not like - i'm telling them how you're generous and kind and pretty.

you let out this low, tragic groan. "oh my god." you tossed the phone away from your body. "there, see? i just won't talk to them if you don't like it."

the rest of the hour went the way it always went, between us: i said i don't actually mind if you talk to your friends but -, you found a way to call my minor expression of discomfort "being dramatic." you got upset that i had been offended. i ended up apologizing, even though i hadn't actually done anything.

afterwards, you picked up the phone again. after texting for a little bit, you snorted. "okay," you said, "but it is kind of funny you're afraid of the dark. i mean, when you think about it."

[thoughts-left-unspoke]

[boonjur]

Logurt game night

[fromheavensent]

　　 ˚ 　　　 . ✧　　 　　˚ 　　　 . ✧　　 　　˚ 　　　 .

i hope you feel at peace today,

know that better days are coming

　　 ˚ 　　　 . ✧　　 　　˚ 　　　 . ✧　　 　　˚ 　　　 .

[nightmareevara]

I want to be part of your journey, your struggles, your everyday life. I wanna be there for you even at your worst, not just when you are doing well.

[asoftepiloguemylove]

A QUIET LIFE WITH YOU // ON DOMESTICITY

Everything Everywhere All at Once (2022) dir. Daniel Kwan & Daniel Scheinert // 呪術廻戦 Jujutsu Kaisen (2018-) cr. Gege Akutami

[daughterofchaosstuff]

Normalise having a threatening aura but really just being an absolute sweetheart

[fairydrowning]

"I want to live simply. I want to sit by the window when it rains and read books I'll never be tested on. I want to paint because I want to, not because I've got something to prove. I want to listen to my body, fall asleep when the moon is high and wake up slowly, with no place to rush off to. I want not to be governed by money or clocks or any of the artificial restraints that humanity imposes on itself. I just want to be, boundless and infinite."

– Via "svnflower-blog" on Tumblr

[chipsy]

[maxiglow]

starting the week in a good mood

weekly review and preview

on sunday evening or monday morning, take some time to review the past week's accomplishments and reflect on what went well and what could be improved. then, preview the new week's schedule and tasks. this will help you be mentally prepared for what's ahead and adjust your plans if needed.

set weekly priorities

determine a top three to five priorities for the week and keep your focus aligned with your most important goals, making you more prone to have adequate time and resources to them throughout the week.

organize your workspace

it's very important to start monday with a clean and organized desk, anyone who already did it knows well. being physically organized helps reduce stress and improve your ability to focus and be productive.

create a motivational ritual

my favorite! begin your week with a motivational ritual. this could be reading an inspiring quote, listening to a particular song that uplifts you, or writing down somethings you are grateful for.

initiate a positive interaction

our first steps through the day can really affect the mood of our whole day (it's scientifically proven!!), so try starting your week with a positive interaction with your family, friends or colleagues. this, aside from maintaining a good relationship and being good to everybody, will also boost your mood.

start with a small win

choose a small, manageable task in the very beginning of monday and complete it. it'll give you an immediate sense of achievement and set a positive tone for the rest of the week.