#wlw love | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

miorrtae · 3 days ago

Text

✧･ﾟ: * MINES PT. 3

GAY AND SECRETIVE BESTFRIENDS?!

˚⟡˖ ࣪ ⋆౨ৎ ❪ 𝑦𝑡 𝑣𝑖𝑑𝑒𝑜. ❫ ｡ lee hyeri x f!r ⌗ . fluff ── disclaimers: bestfriends au, hyeri being a in love puppy, pining, secret relationship .ᐟ.ᐟ inspired by @sillymommy6969

HYERI AND Y/N BEING BESTFRIENDS? PT. 3

928k likes | 1.2M views | 12th Mar, 2025

✧･ﾟ: * Clip One: [YT VIDEO] Stress Relief Edition (0:24)

The camera pans to Y/N pacing around the dressing room, her expression tense and her lips pressed into a thin line. Her fingers fidget with the hem of her shirt as she mumbles softly under her breath, clearly lost in thought. Hyeri sits comfortably on the couch, scrolling through her phone, oblivious to Y/N’s growing restlessness.

Without a word, Y/N moves toward Hyeri's her steps slowing as she reaches the couch. Her hand finds its way to Hyeri's throat, her fingers gently brushing against her Adam's apple. Hyeri barely glances up, her lips twitching into a knowing smile.

“Yah…” Hyeri murmurs, her voice slightly raspy as she raises an eyebrow.

Y/N doesn't respond, her eyes focused intently on her hand as her thumb traces soft circles along Hyeri's throat. Hyeri sighs, her posture relaxing as she leans her head back.

“Go ahead,” Hyeri mumbles, her voice softer now. “I’m used to it.”

Y/N's lips curl into a small smile as her fingers continue their soothing pattern, the tension visibly melting from her shoulders.

✧･ﾟ: * Clip Two: [VLOG] Late Night Car Rides (1:07)

The camera captures Y/N staring out of the car window, her gaze distant as the city lights blur past. Her expression is thoughtful, her fingers tapping rhythmically on her knee. Hyeri’s hands grip the steering wheel, her focus on the road, but a glance toward Y/N doesn’t go unnoticed.

Without thinking, Y/N's hand drifts toward Hyeri, her fingers brushing gently against her throat. Hyeri exhales softly, her lips quirking into a faint smile as she leans slightly into the touch.

“Yah… you’re doing it again,” Hyeri says quietly, her voice barely above a whisper.

Y/N doesn't respond, her thumb continuing to graze over Hyeri's Adam's apple. Hyeri doesn't pull away, her shoulders relaxing as the tension in the car dissipates.

“Do I look like a stress toy to you?” Hyeri asks with a playful grin, her tone lighthearted despite the soft flush on her cheeks.

Y/N finally glances over, her lips curling into a small, content smile.

“Kind of,” she murmurs, her fingers still tracing lazy patterns.

✧･ﾟ: * Clip Three: [LIVE] Q&A (2:39)

Hyeri sits comfortably in front of the camera, her eyes scanning the chat as she answers questions with her usual charm. Y/N sits beside her, one leg tucked under the other as she listens quietly, her head tilted slightly.

As Hyeri speaks, Y/N&'s hand absentmindedly drifts toward her throat, her fingers grazing over her Adam's apple without a second thought. Hyeri pauses mid-sentence, her breath catching as her eyes briefly flicker toward Y/N.

“Seriously?” Hyeri mumbles softly, barely audible over the sound of the chat notifications pinging in the background.

Y/N doesn't look up, her focus entirely on the feeling of Hyeri's skin under her fingertips. Hyeri lets out a soft sigh, her lips curving into a subtle smile as she tilts her head slightly, allowing Y/N to continue.

“Anyway…” Hyeri clears her throat, her voice softer now as she tries to resume her answer, but the warmth in her eyes is impossible to miss.

Y/N's fingers remain where they are, her gentle touch never wavering as Hyeri relaxes beside her, the conversation flowing easily despite the unspoken comfort between them.

✧･ﾟ: * Clip Four: [BEHIND THE SCENES] Photoshoot (3:12)

Y/N stands off to the side, watching as the photographer gives Hyeri directions for the next pose. Her arms are crossed, but her fingers tap idly against her bicep, a familiar sign of her nerves.

As soon as the photographer calls for a break, Hyeri walks over, her smile soft but knowing. Without hesitation, Y/N's hand lifts to Hyeri's throat, her fingers brushing over her Adam's apple with a practiced ease.

Hyeri doesn't flinch, her eyes closing briefly as a content sigh escapes her lips.

“Better?” Hyeri asks softly, her voice laced with affection.

Y/N nods, her fingers lingering a moment longer before dropping to her side.

“Much.”

The unspoken understanding between them lingers in the air, the quiet comfort radiating between their small, familiar gestures.

✧･ﾟ: * Clip Five: [VLOG] Cooking Challenge (4:46)

The kitchen is a chaotic mess—flour dusts the countertops, bowls clutter the sink, and Hyeri’s laugh echoes through the small space as she watches Y/N attempt to mix the batter with a whisk that’s far too small.

“Yah, you’re going to be here all night at that rate,” Hyeri teases, her eyes twinkling with amusement as she rests her chin on her hand.

Y/N’s lips press into a pout, her eyes narrowing playfully as she gives the mixture one final, exaggerated stir. She sets the bowl down with a dramatic sigh before turning toward Hyeri, her expression softening.

Without a word, Y/N’s hand reaches out, her fingers finding Hyeri’s throat almost instinctively. Her thumb brushes lightly over her Adam’s apple, a small, familiar gesture that seems to ground her amidst the chaos.

Hyeri’s laughter dies down, replaced by a soft hum as she tilts her head slightly, giving Y/N easier access.

“Here we go again…” Hyeri murmurs, her voice barely above a whisper, but there’s no protest in her tone.

(The way Hyeri just gives in every time… girl, blink twice if you need help! 😭)

✧･ﾟ: * Clip Six: [BTS] Fan Meet Moments (5:32)

Hyeri stands near the edge of the stage, waving at fans and flashing her signature bright smile as they cheer her name. Y/N stands beside her, a little more reserved but equally warm, her gaze occasionally drifting toward Hyeri with a quiet fondness.

As Hyeri turns to say something, her voice barely audible over the noise, Y/N’s hand drifts toward her throat, her fingers brushing lightly over her Adam’s apple. The gesture is quick, almost instinctive, but Hyeri’s body visibly relaxes under her touch.

“Yah…” Hyeri murmurs, her lips barely moving as she continues waving to the crowd.

Y/N’s fingers linger for just a moment longer before dropping, but the small smile tugging at Hyeri’s lips doesn’t go unnoticed.

(Hyeri’s smile after that? Yeah, she’s GONE. 😭 The grip Y/N has on her is unreal.)

✧･ﾟ: * Clip Seven: [LIVE] Late Night Mukbang (6:03)

Boxes of takeout containers are scattered across the table, half-empty bowls of ramen and remnants of tteokbokki evidence of their late-night feast. Hyeri leans back in her chair, a satisfied sigh escaping her lips as she rubs her stomach.

“I can’t eat anymore,” she groans dramatically, her head tilting back.

Y/N, still picking at the last pieces of kimbap, glances over with a soft smile. Her eyes linger on Hyeri for a moment before her hand drifts up, her fingers brushing gently over Hyeri’s throat.

Hyeri’s head lifts almost immediately, her eyes fluttering shut for a brief moment as Y/N’s thumb traces soft circles over her Adam’s apple.

“Again?” Hyeri’s voice is quieter this time, her usual playful tone replaced by something softer.

Y/N doesn’t respond, her touch remaining gentle yet steady. Hyeri’s lips curve into a small, content smile as her body visibly relaxes, the tension melting away.

“You’re obsessed,” Hyeri teases, her eyes fluttering open as she meets Y/N’s gaze.

Y/N’s lips quirk into a playful grin.

“Maybe.”

(Not Hyeri calling her out but literally MELTING at the same time. 🤡 We see you, unnie.)

✧･ﾟ: * Clip Eight: [BEHIND THE SCENES] Drama Filming (7:27)

The set is quiet, the crew preparing for the next scene as Hyeri stands near the monitors, reviewing her lines. Y/N stands beside her, leaning slightly against the wall with her arms crossed, her eyes fixed on Hyeri.

As Hyeri murmurs her lines softly under her breath, her brows knit together in slight concentration. Without thinking, Y/N’s hand reaches out, her fingers brushing softly against Hyeri’s throat.

Hyeri’s body reacts immediately— her shoulders relax, and her expression softens as her lips form the words with a little less tension.

“You always know what to do,” Hyeri whispers softly, her voice barely audible.

Y/N doesn’t reply, her focus entirely on the familiar rhythm of her thumb gliding gently over Hyeri’s Adam’s apple.

(Hyeri out here getting her stress relief for free while the rest of us pay for therapy. 😭)

✧･ﾟ: * Clip Nine: [VLOG] Hotel Room Tour (8:15)

The hotel room is cozy, with soft lighting and an inviting atmosphere. Hyeri flops down onto the bed with a sigh, her arms stretched above her head as she watches Y/N explore the space.

Y/N opens the curtains to peek at the city view before turning back toward Hyeri, her eyes lingering on her for a moment. Without hesitation, Y/N crosses the room, her hand finding its way to Hyeri’s throat as she sits beside her.

Hyeri’s eyes flutter shut, her lips parting slightly as Y/N’s fingers trail lightly over her Adam’s apple.

“Is this part of the room tour?” Hyeri teases softly, her voice barely above a whisper.

Y/N’s lips curve into a mischievous grin.

“Maybe I’m checking for the remote,” she quips, her thumb brushing over Hyeri’s throat with a feather-light touch.

Hyeri’s laughter fills the room, but her body remains relaxed under Y/N’s familiar touch.

(The “checking for the remote” excuse??? Girl, we’re not buying it. 😂)

✧･ﾟ: * Clip Ten: [LIVE] Pillow Talk (9:54)

Soft blankets cocoon them as they lie side by side, the dim glow of the room giving the moment an intimate warmth. Hyeri’s head rests on her arm, her eyes heavy with sleep, but her lips curl into a faint smile as she murmurs something incoherent.

Y/N’s hand moves gently, her fingers finding Hyeri’s throat out of habit. Her touch is softer this time, barely there, but the familiarity in her movements is undeniable.

“Even when you’re half asleep?” Hyeri mumbles, her voice thick with drowsiness.

“Especially then,” Y/N whispers softly, her thumb tracing soothing circles over Hyeri’s Adam’s apple.

Hyeri hums softly, her body fully relaxing as she drifts off, her trust in Y/N evident in the quiet moments between them.

(I swear, Y/N treats Hyeri’s throat like a stress ball. 💀 But hey, it works, so who’s complaining?)

End of Compilation.

#kpop gg #kpop girls #lee hyeri imagines #lee hyeri #wlw love #hyeri girls day #gxg #lee hyeri x f!reader #friendly rivalry

55 notes · View notes

miajooz · 3 days ago

Text

Forfeiture Bleeds ❦

overview ❦ - After that whole encounter with Abby, Ellie was left with an overbearing amount of trauma and an instability that you thought was manageable. After Tommy visited and told Ellie the current whereabouts of Abby, you found Ellie trying to sneak off at night. You couldn’t just let the love of your life go by herself. So, you went with her. To Ellie’s dismay, the loss she was left with was unimaginable. Was it worth it?

warnings ❦ - swearing, blood/injury, PTSD, angst + fluff, sensitive topics for people who may be grieving, scenes from the game

wc ❦- 12.7k ( oouu.. )

-ˋˏ✄┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈

Life after Seattle was going surprisingly well, or so you thought. You and Ellie lived in a farmhouse together just like you fantasized about, this was your dream. The feeling of waking up next to her every morning, or seeing her work so hard outside made you feel so fuzzy inside. The way she would wrap her arms around you from behind while you did a task, or the way she’d kiss at your neck made it almost seem like everything that happened was worth it.

As if everything you went through during that trip was just leading to this kind of life, this life where everything seemed so stable and peaceful. It felt as if nothing could ever go wrong, what could?

Ellie had a way of running your brain, this whole life and your way of living revolved around her. You wanted to be with her, the thought of her suddenly disappearing frightened you to your core — it was too much to think about. In a way, you did everything you could to make sure Ellie was as comfortable as possible, maybe you just tried to make her feel so damn loved she couldn’t even fathom going after Abby again and leaving you. No, that wasn’t possible — not after everything you had done.

At the start, things were going decent. It was a blessing waking up with Ellie like that every morning, it was a type of fulfillment you didn’t know you needed in your dull but also chaotic life. A type of fulfillment that made you crave more — it bloomed flowers into your brain with a hypnotic pollen that made you want more of this.

More of this picture perfect life where there were no infected trying to tear you apart, there were no armed people trying to shoot you or Ellie. It was just a house in the middle of nowhere, but it was comfortable. You wanted nothing more than to live happily like this, and you knew Ellie wanted to be happy too.

Yet, as much as you prayed for things to stay good, that was impossible in a situation like this. If you even looked past your fantasies for a moment, you could see what disaster every single moment in that godforsaken town in Washington had caused. The absolute shit show that single moment in that theatre caused. No, this life wasn’t flawless at all, that was a lie not even the devil himself could make pretty.

It was going so well, but that’s when the PTSD attacks happened.

Loud noises, screaming, bloody noses, nightmares, memories, flashbacks — the list went on and on. Ellie was triggered by various things, it sent her into a spiral. You’d be in the kitchen chopping a tomato, when a blood curdling scream from the bedroom sent a shiver down your spine. It was the type of horrified scream that echoed off the walls, that told a story of its own. When you’d bolt up the stairs to see what happened — it was Ellie, again.

She’d be curled up on the floor, screaming and crying. It was as if all the air was squeezed out of her lungs with every pained scream. Like her lungs were desperately squeezing out and trying to get rid of that dark, grieving, feeling in her chest that weighed on her. She could feel that dreadful feeling oozing from her pores, no matter how much she tried to forget. It was like a thorn in her brain, it was all she could do but forget.

Whenever this happened, all you could do was hold her and try not to cry yourself. Seeing the love of your life, the woman you’d risk everything for cry like this made your heart twist. Whenever she’d scream like that, you felt so useless, because all you could do was hold her. You’d let her cry, and cry — all you could do was pray she’d get better. Every sob, every scream, every single breakdown was like a knife twisting in your chest. Soon enough, you felt that dark feeling too.

Despite the breakdowns, there were good days. There were days where you’d hold her in a way that felt more genuine, maybe because it was out of sheer love and not purely comfort. Sure, this was comforting — but this was a reassurance that helped you realize how things could be. It fed your delusions, for sure. She’d hold you so tight and let you rest your head on her chest, her body felt so warm against yours. That warmth was healing, but unfortunately the healing was one sided.

The way she kissed the top of your head so tenderly made you want to contort yourself into a ball of light; maybe a light that could cure that ache in her heart. Maybe, just maybe, if you could cure that portion of her, she’d have more room in her heart to love you.

The dread you felt when Tommy visited that day was unimaginable. It felt like everything you did, all the patches on your wounded way of life were just viciously torn off. Everything you did to try and heal her, all the comfort you built around this so called ‘recovering,’ crumbled before your very eyes.

But Tommy wasn’t to blame, he was also grieving. That didn’t help you or Ellie, though, it was like in that moment the grief they both felt made them feed off each other. Almost like a dark, heart sunken cloud just morphing together to create something bigger — something you couldn’t possibly fix this time.

The look on Ellie’s face made that stabbing feeling in your heart all the more pronounced. Her eyes were the window to her soul — it was as if her soul curdled like spoiled milk. Like a claw was latching onto her heart and squeezing the healed parts of it out.

The feeling of the room was a suffocating gloominess. When it fell silent, it gave too much time to think. You knew things were going to go South, the moment you saw that glaze over Ellie’s eyes — you knew.

You knew that very night, she’d try and run off and find Abby again. You knew she’d try and abandon you, you knew it. It wasn’t a big surprise when you felt the sheets rustle late at night, the weight of the bed shifting when Ellie abandoned it.

You knew exactly what her plan was, but you knew you couldn’t stop her. Life would never be what the two of you wanted if this issue wasn’t resolved. But maybe it was bound to be doomed from the beginning. Both your lives ended the moment you stepped out of Jackson.

“Wait, wait. Ellie, please wait.” your voice cut through the silence and stillness of the house, you could physically see her shoulders tense.

Ellie turned slowly, her eyes locking on her worried looking girlfriend. Her eyes told so much, she looked so guilty, but so hurt.

“Please come back to bed, we can talk about this later when you’ve slept.” you urged, immediately walking up to her to grab her hand. The look in your eyes was so desperate, hers was too — but for different reasons.

“I have to finish it. I can’t sleep, or eat. It’s hard to live like this when I know she’s out there.” she replied, her tone was so solemn it made you want to cry; you almost did.

“You’re not being rational, you’re gonna get yourself killed.” you tried to reason “Please think this through, please just listen to me this once.” you added, squeezing her hand tightly. To your surprise, she squeezed it back.

Ellie’s face softened, she had that same look on her face she did when Tommy visited “I love you, you know that, right?” she reassured you, but it wasn’t very effective.

You stared at the love of your life like she’d just committed crime, like she just told you news that was unforgettable — to you, it was. You couldn’t help but get a bit desperate when you saw you weren’t getting through to her. That stubborn mind of hers was so impossible. “I love you too, that’s why I can’t let you go out there and kill yourself!”

Ellie squeezed your hand tightly, you almost believed she wouldn’t let go. Her eyebrows were furrowed softly, usually a trait you’d find attractive, but now it just hurt. “I don’t plan on dying, I promise I’ll come back.” she tried to reassure you again.

“Nobody plans on dying, Ellie! What good are promises when you have a gun to your head?! You can’t tell the person with a gun to your skull that you promised your girlfriend you’d come home, it doesn’t work like that!” you argued, you didn’t want to yell but it was inevitable, but so were the tears that threatened to spill out.

You ran one hand through your hair, taking a shaky breath to calm your racing heart. Your expression shifted to a much more firm one, most likely trying to remind yourself to be stable here. “Do you think I’m just gonna wait here and pray you’ll come back? I’m not doing that.” The frown on Ellie’s face immediately deepened when you spoke.

“I’m coming with you.” silence. Dead, silence. It was a silence that lasted only a few seconds, but felt like an eternity. Like anxiously waiting for somebody to text you back, watching your phone like it can give you any reassurance for your worrying mind.

“What?” Ellie replied, a response that sounded like it was forced out of her lungs.

“I said I’m coming with you.” You repeated, almost immediately seeing her get a bit nervous. Last time was unsuccessful, Jesse was killed and Tommy suffered a head injury. You were almost killed too, that memory haunted her. The most torturous part about it was that she blamed herself. If she never let you go with her the first time, none of that would’ve happened to you.

Despite how Ellie felt about this, she knew she couldn’t control your actions — and she didn’t want to. There was no way to prevent you from tagging along, but part of her wanted you to come, maybe for the sake of her sanity.

She covered it up as love, it WAS love for sure. Yet the fear of just being left all alone was even scarier and overwrote it sometimes. What if she came back after finishing Abby, only to find you on the floor, dead? Dead, lifeless on the floor. Knowing that she could’ve prevented it if she was just there, if she just put you over this deep rooted craving for revenge. But it wasn’t that simple, you knew that — she knew that you knew that. Except sometimes even if you’re there, you can’t do anything to protect your loved ones, Ellie learned that the hard way.

Maybe that’s what made Ellie’s love for you so deep, she knew you understood her. The way she saw you try so hard to fix it just broke her heart. The way you tried to help her, even if she felt she was helpless. Even when she felt like she didn’t deserve to live for being the one to make it out, you made her feel like her life meant something.

Ellie had the belief that since that cure was never made, her life didn’t mean anything. That thought was so strong, but when she saw the way you looked at her, she doubted herself a bit. When she saw the way you smiled at her, when you would tell her you loved her, when you held her as she cried — it made her think that maybe, just maybe, her life meant something. It meant something to somebody, that was a thought that kept her going.

This love ran so much deeper than either of you could comprehend, Ellie would take a bullet for you without hesitation, and you’d do the same.

“Are you sure?” she asked, she didn’t want to drag you along on something you’d regret—somewhere you could get injured.

You nodded, there was no way you could let Ellie go by herself. Even if something happened to her, waiting for her to come back with no knowledge of what happened to her was far more torturous. You couldn’t sit around and wait for god knows how long for her to return.

“..It’s your choice.” she finally said, it sounded a bit more cold than she had intended, but you knew she meant well. Ellie ran her hand through her short hair, still a bit messy from tossing and turning in bed.

You simply nodded, looking at her with slightly dipped eyebrows. “I’m gonna go pack a bag, can you wait for me, baby?” you requested softly, squeezing her hand again and looking at her with a tender expression, an expression you could only let her see.

Ellie’s face softened, she couldn’t resist you — she was lovesick despite the situation. She nodded, squeezing your hand back with the same strength before letting go. “Of course, pack everything you need, yeah?”

You could help but offer her a small smile. With a simple nod, you were approaching the staircase with the intention to pack a bag. You didn’t know how long this would take, though you hoped it was quick so when you came back, things would be fixed. That was a delusion of yours, that if she killed Abby — she’d be healed.

Deep down you knew that was bullshit, grief wasn’t something anyone can just skip. Grief wasn’t something that could just be settled with revenge, at the end of the day, they’re still gone. Avenging them doesn’t bring them back, even if it can feel satisfying for a moment. But when that high is over, you’re left with so much blood on your hands, and the reality that nothing you do will bring them back. Nothing you do will erase what you could’ve done to prevent it, or maybe what you could’ve done to heal better.

Grief is a lingering feeling in your chest that doesn’t go away, a crater in your mind that gets triggered from reminders of your loved ones’ existence. A curse that causes you to push people away, or even indulge in self destructive behavior for everyone around you to watch. And the worst part is, you have to watch yourself do it too. Because no matter how much you try and stop it, it only gets worse. Maybe that’s why healing is so difficult, because it gets worse before it gets better. Maybe because even if your healed, you still think about it.

This was a concept Ellie couldn’t grasp, but how could she? In the depths of her mind where all she could think about was the thirst for revenge, or how she could’ve done something to save Joel if she wasn’t so fucking weak — there was no room for logic. There was no room for reasoning, no thought that exercised the idea that maybe just this once, she had to let it go and learn how to live. No, to her, that wasn’t logical.

While you packed your bag, you thought of all the ways this could turn out. All the ways that you could die, or she could die, or maybe how you both could die. Somehow in the back of your mind you knew something was going to go wrong. Like a screaming in your heart, in your chest, in your brain that said: ‘don’t do it. stay. stay home.’

You packed the essentials, bandages, weapons. tools, ammo, food, ointment, everything you could fit in there. The idea that it was probably unwise to leave with shorts on and a long sleeve hit you, so you quickly changed. You slipped on a tank top, some baggy jeans, and boots. Santa Barbara was hot — or so you’ve been told. You couldn’t stop yourself from grabbing one of Ellie’s flannels for comfort. Surely you’d get cold on the way there anyways.

With that, you left the bedroom and descended down the stairs, your boots snitching on you. Ellie was still standing there, leaning against the counter and waiting for you. When she heard your loud steps coming down the stairs, she looked up — and saw you in her flannel; of course.

That pulled her out of her negative thoughts, she was mainly thinking about how if anything happened to you, it’d be her fault again. But when Ellie saw you in her flannel, all she could think about was how much she adored you.

“Is that mine?” Ellie questioned, what an obvious question. She had that almost lopsided smirk on her face that you loved so much. God—she was such a fucking dork. But you loved her.

You quickly approached her, her flannel on your body and your bag slung over shoulders. There was also a small smile on your face, you looked at her like she was a work of art. To you, she was. “Yeah, it’s yours.” you replied, even if it was a stupid question.

“You’re too cute.” she laughed, looking you up and down. You were so perfect to her, nobody else on the planet could compare. In her eyes you were absolutely unbeatable. All you could do was smile at her, praising yourself for wearing her flannel.

Ellie remembered that they had a job to do—an important one, and cleared her throat. She nodded towards the door, still unable to take her eyes off you. “C’mon, try and keep up, yeah?”

-ˋˏ✄┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈

This whole trip was making you regret every life choice you ever made. Santa Barbara was on the coast of California, which wasn’t exactly close to where you started in Wyoming. It was hot as hell outside, you suffered from a heatstroke more times than you could count. You could see how worried Ellie would get when you got sick like that. Most of the times when she wasn’t busy memorizing a map, she’d hold you and press a rag drenched in cold seawater to your head.

Seasickness was also a problem, when the waves were a bad you’d be hunched over the edge of the boat, puking. Ellie would occasionally come and hold your hair up or rub your back, but usually she’d be trying to make sure the damn boat didn’t crash.

Some days you were just stuck on the calm-ish water, those were your favorite days. You could see how focused Ellie was, but even then she couldn’t resist you. You’d hold each other, make out, talk, laugh together — just like you did at home. Except this wasn’t home, and no amount of affection could fulfill that ache for comfort. That ache to he in the safety of your home where things felt even a little okay.

Nonetheless, you ended up on some sailboat that you helped Ellie steal. You were both in the cabin of the boat, Ellie was looking over some maps and such to find exactly where Abby could’ve gone. You were standing beside her, listening to her talk and looking at the places she was pointing to.

“Oh yeah, That’s gotta be it.” Ellie turned her head to look at you, she looked tired but determined. She folded up the map and let you assist her by putting it back in her bag. You made sure she had her bow and guns in there as well. After two months, you were finally in Santa Barbara. Those two months were very eventful, from almost losing an arm to almost falling off the boat while kissing.

That’s something you’d be embarrassed about forever.

After you put the maps and other papers away, you put a gentle hand on her bicep, her attention was immediately drawn to you again. The cabin wasn’t the brightest, so you couldn’t exactly see all her features yet. “Okay, let’s go then.” you suggested, letting her take the lead.

Ellie hopped off the boat and immediately turned around to help you, grabbing your hands so when you jumped down, there was no way you could get hurt or fall. “Careful.” she directed, maybe she just liked taking care of you. It was reassuring when she was able to help you, it made her believe she was capable of protecting you.

You could see how sunburnt her face was, you felt worried but it was also cute. A smile crept onto your face when you jumped down, holding her hands tightly. You didn’t exactly need the help, but you knew she liked to make sure you were taken care of.

“Thanks, baby.” you coaxed, raising your hand a bit to cup her cheek. “You’re so helpful.” you traced your thumbs over the sunburns and freckles that adorned her face.

“You look like a lobster.” you teased, even though you were also sunburnt — maybe even more than she was.

Ellie laughed in response, her rough calloused hands pressing on a sunburn that reddened your cheek. You hissed in response, trying to squirm away from her arms. “Yeah, call me a lobster again and see what happens.” she released her hand on your cheek and laughed at you.

She looked at you tenderly, you were keeping her sane this whole trip. It was helpful to be reminded that when she finished this, she’d get to go home with the woman she loved.

Ellie grabbed your hand softly and traced her thumb over the back of it, as if she was tracing shapes into your veins. Compared to all the horrid shit she did in her life, this gesture made it seem like she wasn’t capable of hurting anybody. To you, Ellie was perfect, flaws and all. She could see how red your cheek was from the sunburn and felt slightly bad. “Sorry, sweetheart. C’mon.” she offered, letting go of your hand and starting to walk up the beach.

Unfortunately it was only hotter on land, you soon missed the cool air the ocean brought you. You weren’t surrounded by water to rub on your burning skin, you prayed the shade would save you from heatstrokes. But of course, the shade wasn’t as helpful as you hoped it would be, you found yourself dragging your feet to keep up with Ellie. You felt so nauseous all the time, fatigue often making you collapse.

This moment in particular, you were walking in front so Ellie could put all the ammo and supplies you found in a house into her bag. You were chatting with her about some places you thought might be safe from patrolling on your own time. Ellie hummed along with everything you said, her attention slightly divided.

“I think South is the best option. I saw a shit ton of infected any other way. We gotta save supplies, y’know?” you suggested, listening to her zip up her backpack and nod along. Eventually her attention was back on you, still letting you walk in front. Even if she didn’t exactly love the idea of you walking in front, she trusted you.

“Are you feeling okay today, babe? Are you sure you’re able to walk after puking so much yesterday?” Ellie asked, she was concerned by how sick you got from the heat.

Yesterday was probably the hottest, that was the most heat you’d ever felt. You were puking for hours, you didn’t know if your body was overworked or if you ate something bad. Ellie tried everything to cool you off, even going as far as to walk 2 hours to find a decent body of water, just so she could bring something to cool you down.

While your body was weak, you couldn’t let her go by herself. You’d push through, if you could still walk—you’d go. That was your mindset. “Yeah, I’m okay. You should’ve brought me an umbrella and held it over my head for shade. I thought you loved me, what’s that about?.” you joked, trying to ease her worries.

Ellie’s lips curled into a smile and she scoffed. “An umbrella? You’re ridiculous. And I do love you, I literally gave you my granola bar.” she replied in mock offense, her stomach nearly growling at the thought. Ugh..food.

You clicked your tongue once and turned to look at her, an amused smile on your face, “You literally don’t even like granola bars. I traded you an expired piece of candy!” you argued.

Ellie shook her head and sighed, “Doesn’t matter what I like, who am I to waste food? And yeah, that candy tasted like fucking feet.” she added, still smiling at you. In moments like these, she could almost forget what she was here to do. Forgetting that she was getting revenge, forgetting that she was hunting someone down.

She prayed with every fiber of her being that she’d be able to bring you home safely after all of this. That way she could fix things and be a girlfriend you deserved. She would take such good care of you, you’d never have to worry about anything again.

It was ironic how similar you two were in that way, you both just wanted to take care of each other. Ellie didn’t want you to worry, and you didn’t want Ellie to have to suffer anymore.

Despite the dark truth of this trip, you still managed to have good moments. Moments like these were even though you were on your death bed the day before, it was okay now. It was okay now because you were with Ellie.

“How do you know what feet tastes like, huh? Are you seeing Santa Barbara girls?” you questioned sarcastically, you couldn’t help but laugh at your own comment as you continued looking at her. You loved bantering with her like this, it also made you forget. It made you forget of the shit you both went through to get here — the shit Ellie had to think about daily.

Ellie grabbed your arm and pulled you closer to her, wrapping a careful arm around your waist. You immediately stopped walking, looking at her with enamored expression. “Santa Barbara girls? How about I kiss that smartass mouth of yours shut?” she suggested, still smirking at you. “Do you want me to do that?”

You smiled at her, so badly wanting to be kissed. Naturally, you leaned in closer to her to fill the gap between you both. You kissed her softly, her arms tightened around your waist. What a scene, making out in the middle nowhere like you were in the comfort of your own home. Unfortunately, you weren’t. You managed to peel yourself away from the addicting act that was kissing Ellie, your lips slightly red now.

“You smell like shit, I hope you’re aware of that.” you said jokingly — but neither of you smelt exactly nice. It was extremely hot out, that was never a good mix with the reality of no deodorant or showers. Blood from infected, sweat, natural body odor, gun powder, leaves, dirt, you both reeked of all that fun stuff. But in your eyes, she was just as attractive.

Ellie raised an eyebrow at you, holding you close to her. “That’s right, how would I get Santa Barbara girls if I smelt like this?” she questioned, pulling you closer and kissing your neck softly — something she found herself doing often.

You put a hand on the back of her head, her short hair exposing how bad she was sweating. But you didn’t give a shit about the smell, to you she was still hot. “Yeah, that’s true. I must really love you to put up with this.” you joked, pulling her head up so you could kiss the corner of her mouth.

Ellie’s eyes were so soft and tender, you wished you could look at them all the time. The way they softened at the smallest things, her eyes really were the window to her soul — the soul you loved with everything you had.

“The feeling is mutual, sweetheart. Keep walking so we can find some shade, yeah?” she insisted in a low, raspy tone. You were smitten, she always knew what to do to make you squirm. She loosened her grip on your waist and let you step back.

You stepped back and immediately started walking again, walking backwards at first. “Okay, South we go.” you said with a smile on your face, turning around to walk forwards again. Ellie was right behind you, admiring the way you walked — maybe just admiring you as a whole.

Good moments always ended too fast. In a world like this, good moments were distractions that kept you sane. They were helpful reminders that you were still human, and that it was okay to have fun with your partner even if this was something important.

For those brief moments, Ellie didn’t have any room in her brain to think about Abby. All she could think about was the way you smiled at her, the way you seemed to melt whenever she touched you. When she got you home, she promised herself she’d be a better girlfriend. She’d never make you worry again, she’d take care of you like she wanted to. She’d give all her attention to you, her whole heart would be dedicated to loving you—as if she could fall any harder.

Of course your luck couldn’t last to long, something unfortunate had to happen. You were walking by the side of a house, squeezing between a car and wooden fence. You paused and looked at her while wedged in between the two structures. “Wait a moment, I’ll go first. You go right, I go left.” you instructed, “Just to scout, you know?” even though she hated the idea of you going first, she agreed. She wanted to pull you out of that position and go instead.

Ellie bit her cheek and released it with a small suction sound. “Sure, right behind you.” she assured you, waiting for you to move again. she was listening closely, most likely for the sound of anyone passing by.

Somehow you managed to step over the first trap, but it didn’t save you from the second one. You stepped into a rope, it immediately tightened around your foot and hoisted you into the air. You were swinging side to side when you smacked into one of the trees. You were hit in the head, you could immediately feel the impact of it and your ears start to ring. Your head started to bleed, the headache was overwhelming.

Ellie immediately panicked, she could see the dead bodies hanging beside you—one captive being a clicker. As soon as she saw the injury on your head, her heart dropped to her stomach. The memories of Seattle were flooding into her brain, it was a suffocating feeling. Eventually she managed to pull herself together, purely because she needed to help you.

“Shit! Hold on, hold on. I’m coming!” Ellie hollered, “Hang on, baby, hang on!” She immediately started to move between the fence and the car, her heart racing as she tried to get to you. Through your doubled vision, you could see another rope on the ground — one in which Ellie wasn’t watching for.

“Ellie, wait—!” Before you could even finish your thought, Ellie stepped into the trap. She was hoisted up into the air as well, almost hitting you as she swung. But Ellie swung the opposite way, towards a different tree. She was swung into a sharp edged branch that stuck out from the base of the tree. You watched as it stabbed into her side, your breath hitching when you heard her scream.

“ELLIE! Oh, shit! SHIT!” you screamed, you could already feel tears swelling your dry eyes. Your head hurt so bad, the blood was leaking down your forehead and getting in your hair. The branch was coated with a thin layer of her blood, you were sure she would be dead. You were horrified, only able to cry as you watched her squirm around and fumble for her knife.

Ellie was groaning and writhing, the side of her tanktop immediately soaking with blood. She fumbled with her knife, but ended up dropping it on the dirt below her, out of reach. “no, no no..fuck!” she managed to groan out, immediately clutching her wound as her chest heaved.

Her other hand reached out for you, you were crying. Your head was still bleeding, but her wound was definitely far worse. Seeing you cry made Ellie want to cry, all those good feelings from earlier just vanished — all that hope going with it.

Hope was a dangerous thing, it kept you going even when things were hopeless. But sometimes hopelessness was more dangerous, especially in situations like these where you were at the mercy of whoever set this trap, or happened to walk by. Infected, a kind person, the creator of this trap, it was out of your control.

You tried so hard to reach for Ellie’s hand, you were sobbing and she was too. It was pathetic how you were trying to reach each other. A sob was lodged in your throat, your breath coming out in short gasps. “Ellie, Ellie, are you okay? You can hear me right? It’s okay, we’ll get out of here. I promise!”

Ellie on the other hand was panting, her face scrunched up in pain as her side bled through her tanktop more and more. The futility she felt was overwhelming, she was in so much pain but seeing you like this hurt more somehow. “Your head, is your head okay?” she asked worriedly, watching you to make sure you didn’t randomly die on her or something.

“I’m so sorry, I’m sorry, Ellie.” you managed, immediately feeling the weight of the blame. You couldn’t even answer her question, your head was definitely not okay.

Ellie was panicking, she hated it when things were out of control. She hated feeling so helpless, so useless as all she could do was watch. “No, no, don’t be sorry. Come on, is your head okay?”

Oh, classic Ellie. The classic Ellie that always worried about you first. She was stabbed by a damn spike and she was fussing over your head injury. You couldn’t help but start to feel dizzy, the blood loss in your head was making you feel lightheaded and confused. Ellie was trying to talk to you, but your ears just rung.

Eventually your eyes rolled back into your head, and your arm fell limp, dangling in the air. You had fallen unconscious, a sight that horrified Ellie. She immediately tried to reach for you again, breathing so hard she thought she’d hyperventilate. It was a taste of what she felt when Joel was killed in front of her. Seeing somebody look so helpless and injured, while all she could do was just watch.

The blood on your head immediately reminded her of Joel — she could see the parallels. For a moment, she saw him. It reminded her of why she was here, why she was doing all of this. Whoever set this trap would be killed, no doubt about that. She was hyperventilating now, she was having a PTSD attack with nobody to hold her. The person who held her was dangling in front of her, bleeding. It wasn’t long before the blood loss on her part and hyperventilating got to her. When it did, she passed out too.

-ˋˏ✄┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈

It was awhile before you woke up, the dehydration, heat, head injury, and exhaustion all built up. That rest was needed, you could barely sleep since that whole trip started. You’d stay up for hours just tossing and turning. Ellie completely occupied your thoughts, she occupied them until there was nothing left.

When you woke up, you weren’t dangling upside down anymore, no, you were on the floor. You were propped up a bit in somebody’s arms, they were trying to shake you awake frantically. When your eyes fluttered open, everything was blurry. After blinking a few times to adjust your eyesight, you saw who was holding you. Ellie, of course it was Ellie. “C’mon, baby. Wake up, please wake up.” she muttered, her voice cracked a bit in worry.

Ellie was trying to shake you awake, afraid that she’d have to carry you. She wasn’t able to do that, she could hardly keep herself up. There were two dead men on the floor near you, Ellie had a gun next to her. Even in your confused state, you knew what happened

She killed both of them, especially when she saw that man cut you down after checking her pulse. Acting unaffected was so hard when she was sure something would happen to you.

As soon as you opened your eyes, Ellie’s widened. She let out a heavy sigh of relief, pushing the strands of hair that stuck to your injured head out of the way. You immediately groaned, trying to recall everything with a pounding headache. Were you concussed? You couldn’t help but assume.

As soon as you groaned, Ellie rubbed thumb on your cheek softly, her other hand squeezing yours. “Shh, shh, you’re okay.” she comforted, not wanting you to freak out. “Nobody’s gonna hurt you, okay? I’d never let anybody hurt you.” she coaxed, but it was almost like a reassurance to herself.

There was a hopeless tone to Ellie’s voice, the way it cracked was so vulnerable. Like she was afraid, and you knew she was. That scared her, she thought there was a possibility she’d lose you. She couldn’t lose you, she couldn’t be left alone.

You could tell she must’ve had a PTSD attack, you just felt guilty for not being able to hold her. You weakly reached your hand up to cup her cheek, trying to reassure her that you were alive and — well — slightly well. “It’s fine, Ellie. Calm down, I’m okay.” you whispered groaning as you sat up a bit and the sun hit your eyes, causing a pain to shoot through your skull. The lights were an absolute nightmare for your head, that was a kind of pain you weren’t ready for. “And..how’re you doing”

“Fine.” a slightly cold response, far too casual to hold any truth.

You hadn’t remembered she was stabbed by a tree branch, you didn’t remember much before passing out. Not until you noticed how much blood was on the side of her body, it was all over her face, neck, chest — everywhere. Your eyes instinctively widened, trailing down to her side.

That’s when you remembered, you watched that tree branch stab her side. You watched the way she fumbled for her knife and groaned, you saw her crying as she tried to reach you. The blood on the branch, the blood on her clothes. All you could think about was that tree branch stabbing her. The memory played in your mind over and over again until your aching head couldn’t handle it anymore.

She was hurt, and here she was, taking care of you. In your mind, your own injury didn’t matter. What the hell were you doing? You tagged along to help her and yet you got her hurt. It was your idea to go south, it was your fault for getting caught in a trap. Somehow, you were both upset with yourselves.

“Let me see.” you demanded, sitting up fully now and eyeing her bloody tanktop. You were eyeing the source, you knew it was bad.

Ellie frowned a bit, she hated worrying you. That was a suffocating feeling, since she was painfully aware of the fact she always worried you. But she knew it’d just be worse if she didn’t show you, the last thing she wanted was a useless argument. “Can we go back into that house? Let’s go patch up, yeah?” she urged softly, squeezing your hand tighter.

You were reluctant, but you knew that’d be the safest option. With wobbly legs and an aching head, you stood up. The sun beaming on your face was agonizing, your head was pounding as the sun flashed in your eyes. But you sucked it up, for Ellie’s sake. You gently grabbed her hands, ready to pull her up.

“I’m gonna pull you up, I’ll try and be gentle, I promise.” you said softly, gripping her hands tighter. She could see the pain on your face, and you could see the pain on hers. As carefully as you could, you hoisted her up.

Ellie immediately groaned, the feeling of her muscles flexing was absolute hell. “Shit..” she mumbled through clenched teeth. Once she was standing, you immediately wrapped your arm around her to hold her up. Without warning you started walking, you wanted to patch her up before she bled out in front of you.

Every step was agony for Ellie, she was groaning, unable to help herself from hunching over pain. It felt like her insides were scorching, like there was a clawed animal in her side, stuck in her organs and trying to claw its way out. She was sure she shouldn’t be alive, but she miraculously survived.

Eventually the two of you made it back to the abandoned house, it took forever even if it wasn’t even fifty feet away. The dusty couch across the room never looked more comfortable, you hadn’t realized how much you missed comfortable surfaces until being pulled away from them in an injured, sick, state.

You gently helped Ellie onto the couch, trying to make it as painless as possible. But the pain was unavoidable with an injury like this. Breathing was agonizing, simply existing was hell on earth. As you sat Ellie down, you tried to run your fingers through her hair comfortingly, wincing at the blood on your fingers.

Her breathes were coming out in shallow gasps, though your tender gesture seemed to soothe her a bit. You kneeled in front of her, looking in your bag for anything that could be useful. You knew you picked up medical supplies in this very house, but what if it was no use? Your fingers were trembling badly as you fumbled through your bag, your head throbbing to a degree you didn’t know was possible. If it wasn’t for your sheer need to help your girlfriend, you’d be rendered immobile by now.

The rate at which you were finding things wasn’t satisfying you, so you dumped your entire bag out onto the floor. Immediately, you spotted the red box with a white plus on it. Oh, thank god, a med kit. You immediately opened it, grabbing out some gauze and antiseptic. You were trembling, you had patched up Ellie before but she was never this injured. What if you hurt her even more? What if you slipped up and killed her? All these irrational thoughts flooded your mind, causing your head to ache and almost unbearable amount.

You dropped your gauze on the floor and groaned, clutching your head like that would fix it. There was something so torturous about headaches. Headaches lasted so long, and they rendered you stupid. It was like no matter how hard you tried, you couldn’t preform well. How the hell were you gonna patch her up when you could hardly see?

Ellie immediately noticed your discomfort, she reached for the hand that was clutching your head, trying to keep it away from the wound. It was pathetic the way you both tried to take care of each other. “It’s okay, babe. After this, we can rest.” she assured you.

She was reluctant to say this, because she was dying to find Abby. One of the men she killed had given her Abby’s whereabouts, she knew where she was. She was being held in some sort of prison or something — it was all fuzzy. Ellie needed to find Abby, that was screaming in her head as this whole thing happened. But there was another thought in her head that wasn’t screaming at her. It was urging her, reminding her that you were the most important thing in her life. Not Abby.

Before this whole event, she was putting the task of finding Abby first, instead of her girlfriend. But why was she throwing somebody who was still here aside? You were her whole life, somebody that made her feel like she mattered — and yet, she wasn’t putting you first. But after seeing you get injured again because of a trip sue wanted to go on, something in that stubborn head of hers just clicked.

That sudden guilt hit her like a bus, she was immediately overwhelmed. She promised herself she’d be a better girlfriend, she promised. She’d never let you get hurt again, never.

You looked at her with a worried expression, squeezing her hand. You had a job to do—right— focus. The look on your face was soft, soft and worried as you held her hand. “Can you show me now? I can’t help you if I don’t see it.” you murmured, your voice slightly shaky even though you tried to be soothing.

Ellie bit her cheek, looking down at you with a conflicted expression. Reluctantly, she grabbed the hem of her tanktop and pulled it slightly upward. You immediately saw the wound — it was bad. There was blood all over the side of her body, the source was the gash was like hole in her side. It looked deep, it was a wonder she was even conscious.

As soon as you saw it, you felt sick. A type of sick that was a mixture of guilt, worry, and something else you couldn’t describe. Your hand immediately cupped your mouth, it felt like there was a metal plate on your lungs. The type of weight that threatened to swallow you whole, to consume you completely. The weight in your chest was like a vice, it was too much. A sob was lodged deep in your throat, but it eventually crawled out.

Sobs immediately spilled out of you, you felt so guilty. It was your fault she was injured, and yet— she was injured more than you were. Your hands immediately fell from hers resting on her thighs as you lowered your head. You couldn’t even look at her, the pained expression she wore made you want to disappear.

“I’m—I’m so, so fucking sorry. I’m so sorry, Ellie. This is all my fault, I shouldn’t have went that way!” you managed to spew out, the words flowing out of you like an uncontrollable river of guilt and self-blame. But you couldn’t stop, the pain in your head was pushing more tears out.

Ellie looked surprised, she didn’t understand why you were blaming yourself. She watched you cry, unsure what to do at first. You had never sobbed like that to her, not once. The fact it was because you felt guilty made her feel like a metal hand was squeezing her heart.

“I’m not trying to be liability, I’m so sorry! Please let me fix this, I promise I can be useful!” you were uncontrollably sobbing, the throbbing in your head was debilitating.

After that sentence, Ellie couldn’t let you keep speaking in such a self deprecating way, she didn’t even understand what the hell you were saying, she didn’t understand where you were getting the idea this was your fault.

“What’re you talking about? You think this is your fault?” she questioned, her voice stilling your sobs ever so slightly. Her voice was so soft, a stark contrast to the dread of your sobs.

You still couldn’t bring yourself to look at her, the guilt was too much. Seeing the pain and worry on her face would only make things worse. “It is my fault! I said that way was safe when it wasn’t! I’ll be useful again, I promise I can fix this!” you babbled, barely able to say coherent sentences from the combination of your head and distress. You didn’t even know what you were saying, you never spoke like that before. The injury to your head was making your brain act up, but it was still heartbreaking.

Ellie was finally able to act, breaking out of her brief state of shock. With a small sigh, she reached her non-soaked hand to your face and cupped your cheek. Your glossy eyes met hers, they looked sympathetic as they took in the sight of you crying like that.

“It’s not your fault, at all. Neither of us can predict where traps are.” she said softly, wiping the tears from your right eye with her thumb. “The people who set the traps are to blame, and they’re dead now.”

Oh, how comforting

“Let’s just get patched up, yeah?” she suggested, her voice was so raspy but soft at the same time. It was calming, a tone you wished you could hear more often. She continued to hold your cheek, letting your salty tears soak her dirty hand.

Your tears managed to still, despite the aching feeling in your head that pushed the idea that this was your fault. You decided to pull your head out of your ass and do something, at least try and help your girlfriend who was bleeding out on this dusty couch. Your eyes went back to Ellie’s injury, it looked excruciating. You could see how the muscles flexed and spasmed everytime she took a breath or moved slightly. It was a miracle she was alive, but even that reminder wasn’t reassuring you.

Without any further hesitation, you grabbed the med kit and dug around for a moment. You managed to find a needle and thread, luck was finally on your side — for now. You took the cap off the antiseptic, grabbing the gauze you put beside you before your little mental breakdown.

From your experiences, warning somebody before preforming something medical always made it hurt worse. When your brain is focus on the injury, it makes the pain much more intense. That being said, you looked at Ellie with a soft expression, gently caressing her skin. When you saw she looked slightly at ease, you poured some of the antiseptic on the wound and pressed on it with a gauze.

Ellie’s reaction was immediate, you had to hold her down as she groaned and writhed. “Jesus fucking Christ! You think you could’ve warned me, babe?..” she managed to say between pants and groans. It hurt like hell, she could see the way your eyebrows furrowed as you peeked over the gauze.

“No, no I could not.” you explained plainly — well..okay. That explanation was enough for her, she just sighed and clicked her tongue once.

You pulled the gauze away, observing all the blood that had transferred onto it. You needed to stitch this up, but it was going to be difficult since Ellie couldn’t stay still. The prospect of hurting her worse also made you hesitate, but it was this or possible death.

With care, you grabbed the needle and thread, your fingers were so shaky that threading the needle was extremely difficult. You felt like you were trying to build a car with no instructions. You were eventually able to thread the needle, afterwards drenching it in antiseptic and holding it firmly in your hand.

Ellie had a look of dread on her face, this was going to be absolute hell. Yet she knew this wasn’t avoidable, she’d have to suck it up and try her best not to kick you in the face. That did happened before — she still feels guilty, you could still feel that damn converse on your cheek.

“Do you want me to count down this time?” you asked, your free hand rubbing her leg comfortingly. You were trying your best to relax her, but that was proving to be difficult.

An amused scoff escaped Ellie’s throat, you frowned a bit in response because you were being serious. “Is the sky blue? Yes, I want a count down.” she said sarcastically, how did she manage to be so annoying even in serious situations? God, you loved her.

Your eyes narrowed and you sighed a bit. You couldn’t help but smile, even in the worst situations she was still the same Ellie you fell in love with. “Don’t be a brat, I quite literally have a needle I’m about to plunge into your side.”

Even under all that grief, all that anger and thirst for revenge — there was a piece she kept intact just for you, or so it seemed like it was for your sake. Even after everything, you still looked at her like she was the biggest blessing, like she was an angel who did no wrong. But no, Ellie definitely had flaws. She wasn’t flawless, the amount of people she killed was off the charts. Yet, that didn’t matter in your mind, because she was still just Ellie.

Ellie shook her head and laughed, the act made her wince and groan a bit. She instinctively reached for her side but you stopped her, placing her hand back by her other side. With the soaked needle in your hand, you looked away from her pained face and back to the wound. She was bracing herself for the pain, she felt her heartbeat race when you started to count down.

“Three..two..” At two, you poked the needle into the flesh of her wound. Ellie was immediately wracked by the pain inflicted as you poked the needle in, she bit back a cry.

“You said you were counting! You went at two, are you trying to torture me?” she managed to complain between groans and pants. She was clearly in a lot of pain, but she couldn’t be mad at you. The shouting hurt your head a bit, but you stayed silent.

You felt extremely guilty, mainly because you were the one inflicting pain on her. You paused for a moment so she could breathe, you didn’t want her to pass out or anything. “Sorry, sweetheart. You’ll be very aware this time, though.” you coaxed softly, trying to soothe her again. “I’m gonna start sewing you up, please don’t move too much. Or, you know..kick me.”

Ellie nearly scoffed when you brought that up. Dirty move. Before she could respond, you were sewing her up. You didn’t let her process for very long, you just wanted to get it over with.

After an agonizing few minutes filled with yelling, squirming, surprising no kicking, and a mess of blood everywhere — you successfully stitched up her wound. She was absolutely spent, taking so much pain at once is difficult, even for tough people like Ellie. The fact you poked the wrong places a few times didn’t help, but it was out of control when the pain in your head worsened and your vision doubled.

You just sat on the couch with Ellie, holding her. It was nice to be able to just hold each other again, you missed that affection. You had a small patch on your head, the throbbing was still present but you were able to ignore it — almost. You tapped Ellie’s arm to make sure she awake, that question was answered when she hummed in response.

“You doing okay?” you asked simply, rubbing her arm softly as you held her. You knew you wouldn’t get an honest answer, but it still reassured you when you heard her voice.

Ellie put her hand on yours, the one that was rubbing her arm. “I’m fine, we gotta move soon.” she insisted, she couldn’t help herself. Despite how bad the pain in her side was, the need to find Abby was stronger. It was so strong it almost numbed the pain, the excess adrenaline was exhausting.

With that, you were both back on track within a few hours. You stayed glued behind her, watching her back. It was safe to say you were much more cautious now, as if you’d get caught in another trap and Ellie would get stabbed on the other side while trying to save you.

It was almost too overwhelming, the rest period you got wasn’t very long. But you were grateful to still have Ellie with you, things could’ve turned out so much worse.

While walking through another abandoned part, you heard clicking. You and Ellie immediately froze and stopped walking, listening for any more. There didn’t seem to be any others besides the one clicker, or so you thought.

Ellie immediately reached for her gun, intending to shoot it with the assumption there was only one. Both of your senses were dulled, yours from a head injury and Ellie’s from blood loss. You watched as she aimed, firing a shot at the clicker and blowing its head off. The relief only lasted a moment, that was until you could hear screaming. Runners.

“God dammit!” Ellie cursed, immediately standing up and pulling you to your feet, even if it hurt. Her whole stance was wobbly, running would be nearly impossible. you reached for your gun and tried to shoot them all, she helped you. One by one, the infected fell to the floor, a splatter of blood erupting from the bullet wounds to their heads or chests.

There were about 4, so it was relatively easy. You let your guard down too fast, though. From the side you were tackled down by an infected. You hit the floor harshly, the air was sucked out of your lungs as you fought back.

Ellie snapped her head towards you, she looked horrified. Seeing the runner desperately trying to devour you made her act quickly. You let out a yelp of pain, but Ellie just assumed it was from your head or something. She grabbed the runner and slit its throat smoothly, tossing it to the side and immediately coming to your aid.

“Fuck..you okay? It didn’t bite you, right?” she asked worriedly examining your body for any bite marks.

That’s when she saw it. a bloody bite mark on the side of your arm. You both froze, a gasp lodged in your throats.

Ellie held your arm, her eyes were glued on the bite mark. She looked absolutely horrified, this couldn’t be happening, this was all too fast. It was too much to process, it could just be a puncture wound from hitting the ground, right?

The air was sucked out of her lungs, she held your arm delicately. The rest of the world was blurry, all other sounds were tuned out by a painful ringing in her ears. All the despair, all the helplessness she felt when Joel died was coming back. That soul sucking feeling that made her heart shred itself apart, that feeling that made her feel like her lungs were drowning in absolute futility.

After making it so far, a simple slip up in judgement fucked up every ounce of progress made. The progress both on this trip and in her own healing. It felt like her whole world was crashing down on her, like the weight in her lungs was getting even more unbearable. She held her breath, afraid that if she exhaled she’d be brought back into the reality of what happened. The reality that you were as good as dead, the reality that maybe she’d have to be the one to kill you.

You were in absolute shock, unable to even process what the hell was going on. The thought of you becoming one of those monsters or simply dying was too much to bear, it was petrifying. You weren’t supposed to die, you were supposed to bring Ellie home after all of this. You were supposed to live in peace, live in a way that could heal that aching, grieving part of her.

But how was that possible now? It’s not like anybody was just immune. No, only Ellie was immune. For the second time in her life, it felt like more of a curse than a gift.

“No, no. That’s not a bite mark, right? Baby, please tell me that’s not a bite mark.” her voice was cracking, her chest heaving in fear and dejection. She was distraught, the weight of it crushed her like a vice.

All that you could offer her was a soft sob, the realization hitting you like a brick. A silent scream was lodged in your throat, trying to crawl its way out but unable to from the pressure in your lungs. You felt sick, your body couldn’t handle this at all.

When Ellie didn’t get a response, the panic really settled in. Her breathes came out in short gasps as she held your arm like a delicate flower, a stark contrast to the truth of the moment.

The truth that she wouldn’t be taking you home, the truth that she wouldn’t be able to prove to you she could he the best girlfriend you would ever know. The truth that she’d be all alone, there’d be nobody to hold her when she had PTSD attacks. How could you? When the newfound cause of them would center you.

But what did that matter? What did that matter when she’d wake up alone? What did that matter when she’d have nobody to love? Nobody to make her feel like maybe her life mattered. What the hell was she supposed to do with herself? You were her whole world, absolutely everything to her.

If it was her way, she would swap places with you in a heartbeat.

“Baby, please say something. Come on, please just tell me it’s a just puncture wound.” she sputtered, her grip on you was much tighter now. Your eyes met, you both shared the same look. The look of terror, the look of silent acknowledgement and truth.

Before you could even mutter a reply, Ellie was on her feet. The pain in her side was so intense, but it was almost irrelevant. It was almost as if it didn’t exist, the way she pulled you to your feet mirrored that. She immediately started dragging you towards some sort of shelter, absolutely anything.

You let her drag you, still in shock. But the more it settled in, the more afraid you felt. You’d been in many life or death situations, but none in which you knew you’d die. You were so scared, you were scared to die. That thought started the tears, panicked sobs pouring out of you like a faucet.

Ellie led you to some sort of small house, a house in which looked abandoned. To her dismay, an infected was waiting. It screamed and tried to run at her, she immediately pulled her gun out and blew its head off.

“FUCK OFF!” She yelled, but her voice cracked and failed to hold any harshness. Her voice showed her despair, it showed how broken she was feeling. That’s when she started sobbing too, you were both hysterically crying as she used all her strength to drag you into the house.

She slammed the door behind the two of you, immediately falling to the floor and holding you tightly below her. Her chest was heaving, sobs taking over her whole body. You were in the same boat as her, wailing and desperately clawing at her arm.

“I’m so sorry!” you cried, hiccups occasionally making an appearance as you sobbed. You didn’t know what you were sorry for. Maybe you were sorry that you’d be piling even more grief onto Ellie. Maybe you were sorry for not being able to push the infected off of your weak body.

Ellie immediately shushed you, her hands trembling as she held you. “Shh, shh, no. This isn’t your fault. Why do you always apologize when it’s not your fault?” her question wasn’t a jab at you, she just didn’t understand how somebody so perfect could think they were so flawed.

“I don’t want to die, I was supposed to bring you home. Please do something, I’m so scared, I’m so scared, Ellie.” you said between gasps and sobs,

Those words felt like needles to her heart, as if she could sob any harder. She wanted to do something, she wanted to help you. But there was no way she could, there was no way she could save you this time. She felt so stupid for promising herself to keep you safe, she felt stupid for promising you that too.

She gently brought a hand up to your cheek, caressing your cheek with such tenderness it was torture. “I know, I know, baby. I’m so sorry, I’m so fucking sorry.”

Ellie wanted nothing more than to go home with you, she cursed herself for coming out here in the first place. If she wasn’t so hellbent on getting revenge, this never would’ve happened. You’d be in the comfort of your shared home, cuddled up in bed like usual. She’d wake up the next morning and admire the love of her life sleeping next to her.

But now all she regretted was those unconscious hours. Hours she couldn’t get back, hours she knew you didn’t have. She wished it was her, not you. You were so perfect to her, you were genuinely a good person. Yet even in the sense that good deeds are always returned, it doesn’t matter in an apocalyptic world. It’s not like infected are capable of registering good deeds, everybody is at the mercy of such a disease.

“Please, I’m so fucking scared.” you repeated, fear was practically oozing out of your pores. Your heart was beating so fast you were sure it’d burst out of your chest, that would be better in a way. “I won’t die as one of those things.”

Ellie’s blood ran cold, she understood exactly what that meant. She understood that you’d be going out on your own terms or hers, you weren’t prepared for this. In Jackson, you were told that if your partner on patrol was bitten, you had to kill them. But nothing could’ve prepared her for this, nothing could’ve ever prepared her for the fact she’d have to shoot you.

“I knew you’d say that, fuck..” she murmured, her hand running over her face in an intense fear she hadn’t felt in a while. That familiar helpless feeling was settled in her lungs, she didn’t know if she could ever heal after this, she’d be absolutely torn to shreds. She’d be shredded from the inside out, an irreversible type of damage that could be patched up but never healed. No, she’d never heal, not if she was by herself.

Ellie just held you, she couldn’t bring herself to reach for her gun. She just wanted to hold you, even if this was making it hurt even worse. She knew she would regret every moment she didn’t get to hold you, she’d never get to make up all the time she failed you.

“You know how much I love you, right? I’m so lucky to have had such an amazing woman as my girlfriend.” you hiccuped, tears spilling out of your eyes uncontrollably. The fear and despair you felt couldn’t be described with words, you didn’t think you’d ever be ready for something like this. You always told Ellie how lucky you were, but it was in admiration, not a goodbye. As much as you told yourself you were prepared, nobody was prepared for this kind of thing deep down.

Ellie’s tears were falling onto your body, soaking your shirt as they fell. Her face was scrunched up in a way that just screamed despair, the tears didn’t stop. “No, I’m the lucky one. I don’t know how I managed to to get the most beautiful woman on this earth. How’d I get so lucky?” her voice cracked, she was gently rubbing your cheek. “I love you so much, I’m so sorry I can’t fix this.”

You were sobbing so hard it was difficult to breathe, this was like a sad scene in a movie. You never thought you’d feel something as atrocious as this, not once.

“Please tell me what to do, what am I gonna do without you?” she asked, pleading for an answer. She truly didn’t know what she would do. How could she go on when she was all alone? Her biggest fear was being alone, why did everyone she love always leave her alone?

The sobbing on your half didn’t let up, but you managed to control yourself a bit so you could talk. “Go home, baby. Just go home.”

Go home. That’s what she should do? After all of this she should just go home? What would your death be for then? If she just went home, your death would be for nothing. How could she lose the most important person in her life while trying to avenge a past one. Who could she take revenge on this time? That runner was already dead, now she was just left with an empty, pained feeling. Would it be the same if she killed Abby?

How could she go home when you weren’t there waiting did her? How could she sleep knowing she’d never be able to hold you again? How could she eat if it wasn’t at the table with you, or one of your meals? How could she live in a world you didn’t, in a world where you were being torn from her arms.

“Please, please go home. I don’t want you to die too, even if it doesn’t seem like it, you have a chance. You’ll never find happiness if you continue this, so please, go home.” you pleaded, all you wanted was for her to be safe.

Ellie was so conflicted, but hearing your pleas melted her soul like fucking acid. She couldn’t say no to you, not when this was the last request you’d ever give her.

“Okay, okay, sweetheart. I’ll go home.” she said, her sobs only worsening. She couldn’t keep doing this, this conversation was the most torturous thing she had ever felt in her life. A feeling of immeasurable loss that she knew was coming, a feeling of hopelessness that she was all too familiar with.

You just sat and held each other for a bit, sobbing and trying to soak up the last love you’d ever receive from each other. But after a long while, you decided it had to end. This couldn’t drag on forever, you needed to just go.

Ellie held the gun shakily in her hand, loud, gut wrenching sobs crawling out of her throat. you just held her, crying and trying to soothe her despite the severity and gut wrenching pain of this moment.

“I love you so much, Ellie.” you said weakly, the sobs silencing any other thought in your head. All you could think about was how much you loved this woman. You’d always love her, your heart would still be full of her even if it wasn’t beating anymore.

Ellie’s breath was coming out in short gasps, the severity of her crying only worsening. “I love you too, I love you so much. It’s gonna be okay, I’ve got you.” she managed, just holding you and caressing you gently.

Promises meant nothing when you had a gun to your head, even if it was a gun held by your lover. You were in the mercy of that person, you couldn’t tell them that you were supposed to just go home with your girlfriend. that was the last thought that absorbed your mind, before that aching thought was silenced with a gunshot.

The silence was only on your part, for Ellie, she just screamed.

-ˋˏ✄┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈

Loneliness is a feeling of loss and sadness. A darkness that had no light to overshadow it, that is unless you found somebody. Loneliness is a feeling that can make you feel so small, a feeling that can make you feel like you’re the only person in a melting pot of other everybody else in the world. Loneliness is having people torn away from you and having nobody left, or sometimes the act of not letting anybody get close to you. In any scenario, loneliness is a gut wrenching feeling that eats away at your core like a tapeworm. A feeling of such utter agony with nobody around to dull it. A feeling of isolation that even the most independent people struggle to deal with.

In an apocalyptic world, loneliness is a common theme. People you loved were torn away from you, they were torn from you in such a way that was out of your control. Lack of control was often a cause for loneliness, it’s not like you’re able to keep everybody. Even if you try with everything you have, it’s pointless when you’re not in control. It’s not like you can control the people you lose, sometimes it’s cold and sleek , sometimes their demise is forced into your very hands.

Loneliness is often feared, or so it was in Ellie’s case. The idea is having everybody in her life that she loved disappear was too much to bear. She was sure she’d lose some people, but not everybody. But that was the reality of an apocalypse, such barbaric monsters couldn’t register your cries for mercy. They couldn’t register that they were taking away somebody so important.

No, not anymore.

The house in which you shared with Ellie was almost always silent. A space which you once would laugh and cook together, was now just an empty, lifeless, soul eating memory. A space in which you’d hold the love of your life was now filled with dread and sorrow, only she could hold herself. There was no life left in that house, there wasn’t any left in Ellie either.

Ellie spent most of her days just laying in bed, holding a shirt of yours or anything she could find. She clung to the scent of you, when the scent was gone from an item that you owned she’d just cry and grieve your death all over again. She’d think about the way she screamed and cried while holding you for hours in that empty house, even though you couldn’t hold her back.

Ellie was right, she couldn’t heal.

-ˋˏ✄┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈

tags - @eriiwaii @valeisaslut thank you so much for the support! <3

#ellie williams #lesbian #wlw #ellie williams imagine #ellie williams tlou #ellie x fem reader #ellie x you #tlou part 2 #wlw love #ellie angst #angst #tlou angst #ellie fluff

45 notes · View notes