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#ive posted so many good ones in the last year :(
airoarts · 10 months
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Leader and deputy
[Image description: a digital painting of Squirrelstar and Ivypool from Warriors. Squirrelstar is a small dark red cat with green eyes, standing in front of the much taller Ivypool, a gray tabby-and-white cat with blue eyes and many battle scars. The background is dark blue. end ID]
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al-luviec · 2 months
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juvie buddies
#alek art#td duncan#td mal#total drama#total drama all stars#(if i want to get technical)#2024#duncan is around 15 here... mal is around 16#ive thought really hard about them these past few days . in my brain they actually knew each other and canon is different#duncan and mike got along really well. in juvie mal refused to speak to anyone about anything and would fight as many people as he could .#he wanted to stay in there and far away from home . they get roomed together and duncan is the first person who mal can talk to . he isnt#scared of him . he relates to him a lot . like -> wow we both act out for attention and people think we are terrible because of it#duncan being a mentally ill teenager seeing mal an also very mentally ill teenager thought 'i can fix him' . mike and duncan speak too here#i cant really see anyone else fronting besides those two . their brain was on lockdown and mike wanted out so bad . i see manitoba as a#gatekeeper so hed handle some sessions with their psych. i want to say they (duncan and mike) get moved to a psyche ward just because#i have more knowledge on being in one and how it goes ... but yeah i like duncan mal a lot . this art isnt ship whatsoever though 🙏 i dont#see them as a couple their dynamic is just better as friends imo#but anyways in all stars they obviously recognize each other but have an unspoken agreement not to say anything abt it#duncan is a known criminal but mike isnt like that . mike hadnt even told zoey about that part of his life . so duncan wanted to respect his#privacy -> then mal starts hurting people and he has to step in . mal isnt a good person by any means but i dont think he was that bad in#juvie . so duncan had to come to terms that his friend wasnt the same person he was years ago (in all stars duncan is ~18 and i think mike#is almost 20... so it had been a while since they last talked)#them getting each other like no other and being in pain because they couldnt really speak . i see them having a conversation still in moon#madness abt their past and history . god i just think abt them and their wasted potential wdym mike and duncan were in juvie together#duncan was in for trespassing or destruction of private property or something really dumb . mal fought his parent(s) and got in for assault#mal was already in when duncan was placed . and duncan was let out early on good behavior + his parents (dad) mostly did it to teach him a#lesson . wrong of them or otherwise . so mal was just kinda stuck there until they realized he was actually not right in the head . think he#knew abt their DID but was only diagnosed in juvie and had to go from there . tbh he shouldve been tried as an adult but td logic . doesnt#matter dw guys . mike gets the 'was put on random meds that made him go braindead' treatment bc that was me . post mental hospital abilify#had me messed up
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thatone-churro · 2 months
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chat. chat i have a question. i know ive always had guilt when it comes to getting things for myself, but like. would it be stupid to drop like $116 on the special editions of two games ive been wanting for a while (now because one of which is on sale)? i mean, ive been saving my money literally all summer to use for myself like i haven’t bought anything i didn’t need and i KNOW im not gonna blow through all of it in school because i don’t go anywhere & dont do shit and i know it’s my money and i can do what i want with it but. idk. it feels stupid. is it stupid or is my brain stupid??
(extra context in tags ig idk)
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volfoss · 2 months
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Took pics of the best turned out eyes in his head from yesterday :)
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In order:
A dark blue with some gold star decals, gold with some glitter (learned the glitter does NOT photograph well the way I do it lol. Things to keep in mind for next time), light blue with dark blue glitter, dark brown with a cherry cola glitter (it catches the light and looks pink in person but all the painting I did barely shows up bc of how dark brown it is lol), and white (I kind of wanted it to look like the eye chip was removed and just the underlying area remained)
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mirmidones · 11 days
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3.40 i woke up bc i was cold and needed to pee and now i can't fall back asleep i keep thinking of the people i accidentally ghosted. is it ghosted if there was no intent to ghost? i feel so bad and it's not even like i don't think about them i often do think "i should really reply to them... once this is over ill properly sit down and write them... " and then i don't bc something else happens and im dealing with that and the longer i leave it unanswered the more difficult it becomes because i feel so guilty and therefore want to do things properly not half assed but bc i feel so guilty a part of me also tends to avoid it even more. if i do this to you just know i'm really sorry and ill get back to you i swear
#i have this friend i didn't reply to him for 6 months and then i did with lots of apologies he replied no worries haha AND I WENT AND DIDN'T#REPLY TO THAT FOR ANOTHER 6 MONTHS and the thing is when i had texted him in january i was falling ill and then i was ill for more than a#week so i wasn't really in a condition to reply. and since bc of the illness i had missed some crucial classes and was in the middle of#exam session and i was really struggling so then too i delayed texting him. and then the second semester started and it was such a shitshow#and then i fell ill again and i thought to write him hey i was first ill then send i didn't reply to you and im ill now and im replying to#you 🫠. but then i didn't again#anyways last week i finally texted him like ''hey. how are you ? im really bad at keeping in touch im sorry. can i offer you lunch or dinne#one of these days to apologize and so that we can catch up a little?'' and he hasn't replied yet which is like obviously fine. id get it if#he didn't reply for 6 months or a year i'd pretty much deserves it id say. i'm just worried that he'll never reply bc i have fucked it up#entirely. the truth is all my lifd ive been used to seeing many people i care deeply about like once or twice a year without barely any#contact in between and when we're together again it's like time hasn't passed at all. we just pick up from where we left#the same goes with long distance friendships. to me#anyone ANYONE can tell you how little i reply. :(. still. i know it's not good. @ friend i hope you'll find it in you to forgive me and let#me treat you to lunch#god. side note there is something in this house that is triggering my allergy so bad whether its dust or cat blanket im having the worst#time#good night ill try to sleep again now#it took me one hour to write this post yes
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arolesbianism · 4 months
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I'm starting to see ppl talk abt updating their artfight pages and at first I was like what why it's still months away and then it hit me that by months it was two months and now I'm just silently sweating as my anual side project to remake the eternal gales refs and give them all icons comes back to haunt me
#rat rambles#oc posting#well I mean the good news is that all the staliens are already done and Ive already started on the human kids#the bad news is that theres still 5 more refs for me to remake and 9 icons if I decide to commit to that#the only one Ill probably force myself to do is sprinkles since shes the only stalien that doesnt have one and I dont want to leave her out#the human kids might just not get them tho especially since theres other characters Id like to make refs and icons for too#not as many newbies to the field this year which is a good thing since I do not have a lot of space left for new characters lol#Im probably going to take it easy this year in terms of my goals for artfight since last year I crashed and burned Hard#hopefully Ill have the time and motivation to draw a decent amount but if I dont Ill try not to be too broken up about it#especially since Ill probably burn myself out a bit doing the last minute ref rush lol#its not necessary especially since all the guys who needed the new refs most got theirs but Id like for them to be on the same page#I also went ahead and cleaned up my page a lil bit to make my life easier in the future#I should probably update bios and stuff but I dont feel like it Im too tired#tomorrow Im definitely going to need to clean some more as I have been for nearly every day#I mean guess thats why Im here in part#last week of pet sitting tho so soon Ill be back home again#Im not sure if Im excited or dreading it cause while I miss my family I also have been rly enjoying a house to myself#like its not necessary easy to do all the chores and stuff but it's a lot easier to do said chores when Im alone#and Ive actually been waking up at reasonable times too like not having my mom floating around is doing wonders#its almost making me rethink my insistence that I couldnt live alone but I definitely think itd get to me in the long term I need people#I just wish there was a better middleground since having people constantly in the house stresses me out so bad#it leads to me hiding out all day in my room and that's just not good for me#but its not like I could live by myself even if I wanted to#at this rate I dont think Ill ever move out but lets not think abt how much worse that could be for me thats future me's problem
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cutearose · 10 months
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had my first ever volunteering experience today - attended the local repair cafe in the sewing section and did some mending!! I’m so exhausted but it was a nice time and I’d like to keep going back
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calkale · 1 year
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FUCKING!!!!!! JOHN WICK 4!!!!!
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digirainebow · 2 years
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OH my editing has gotten so much better since i started editing those tgaa snippets. hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
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astrxealis · 2 years
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being someone who started xiv w 5.3 (basically! though i caught up with everything with 5.5) man all the changed in xiv since then (like the earliest dungeons being changed, the ending of 2.0 with the fights being made to be better) kinda make me sad because i am a sentimental person but also it really has improved the game even if i do miss the past, however uh. worse it may have been! also because my friends who get into ffxiv will never be able to experience what i have and as time goes on that will continue to happen, and then new players as well... so yeah. feeling this way esp with regard to cape westwind the hardest fight in game T___T
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0rionz-belt · 2 years
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this is going to sound fucked up, partially because i dont know how to say what im thinking properly, but i hate that lack of privacy gets taken advantage of by capitalism.
dont get me wrong, privacy is super fucking important obviously. but if we had a machine that could pull our memories out over the years and save them so we can watch them at the end of our lives, i think that would be incredibly lovely. but we would have to worry about the company or government accessing that data and even using it and it would be seen as a total invasion of privacy BECAUSE of that aspect. but in a world where that shit doesnt happen and i could be guaranteed that no one except me would EVER see those memories, id do it in a heartbeat. but of course fucking capitalism ruined that.
#is this an excuse for me to discuss a fictional solution to one of my fears in a sappy way? yeah#but i think it would be wonderful if people got to go through their memories in full clarity before they die.#to see their past just as vivid as when it was the present.#it wouldnt even have to be just the greatest parts. it could be stuff you had forgotten too.#and moments that seemed bad when they happened but led to so much more.#personally id love to be able to see some of the stuff from my early childhood that my brain doesnt remember fully.#id love to see my grandma again too.#hell if it were possible id love to see memories from the day i was born! ive always wanted to see my birth mother.#and think of the possibilities this could have for people with memory issues and degrading mental processes. god.#and of course...this may just be me but i think the machine should be able to pull certain memories away permanently too.#so that anything that has haunted you will leave you on your deathbed and you may have peace.#there are...quite a few memories i would love to die without.#and while it is best for my wellbeing and of other's as well that i dont forget about those memories anytime soon...#...i do think it would be nice.#honestly this post wasnt meant to be about how capitalism takes advantage of lack of privacy.#i just knew i wouldnt be able to share this daydream without acknowledging the moral complications.#god im going to cry. id be fine with keeping so many of my bad memories. thats most of what the past few years are anyways.#but part of why that is comes from incredibly beautiful moments. specifically friendships.#and if i could remember only the good parts of being with my friends and erase the shit that happened between us all. just for my last day.#i think that would bring me peace at last.#vent#wow this is fucking depressing! i might start crying at school actually.
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alchemiclee · 18 days
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I have so many photos I need to post. 15 years worth!!! I started posting them on my old tumblr's side blog but never finished and then I abandoned tumblr for years. but tbh I feel like posting my work doesn't benefit me and it's just more pointless work for me 😭 especially instagram and twitter where my posts get maybe 1 like from a follower if i'm lucky and that's it. why do I even bother 😭 no one is excited to see my work so it'd hard to motivate myself to actually share anything when it doesn't benefit me and when no one else is excited for or looking forward to it. sometimes I lose that "I made a thing I want to share it like a kid hanging their finger painting on the fridge" mentality 😅 even kids can get discouraged and give up sharing if you don't ooo and ahhh over their work. does that make sense?
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lying face flat on the floor passed out, vatican trio and their "if i get news of you dying another time i'll fucking get you" and "please take care of my friend this time as well".
the way that their designs are both archetypes that suggest they're not super in touch with their emotions (aloof black-haired guy and airheaded jock) but they're in fact both so casual and vocal about how much tesilid means to them
#s-class heroine spoilers#vatican trio#thinking once again about how hestio and ephael are clearly very good friends to tesilid and about how#this is not necessarily good news considering his. regressions.#tapas comments sections being like 'oh nooo tesilid has to regress so many times and ailettes not there'#me shoving it all aside and being like 'AAAAAAA tesilid has his friends by his side but they dont remember what he does!!!!!!!'#thinking about that one post thats like can we be more insane about friendships. no more insane than that. no more than that#thats me im like yeah okay romance is cool only in the seventeenth is cool but what about being in every round that sucks#i think if friendship was a major theme in canon i would be more normal about this but unfortunately this doesnt seem to be the case#so ill just cook my own food.....#still. props to irinbi for including such wholesome friendships even if they arent the focus#man i want to write another vatican trio fic but i have no ideas or vibes in my head#i want to read another one of festering wound / the 2nd fic but like ive already written that fic#its already done why do i feel the itch to write another one like it#gngngngng i need the three of them to be less normal about each other#hestio & ephael i understand bc to their knowledge tesilid is fine he may have had a near death exp but he has a girlfriend now#not that having a girlfriend automatically erases trauma but he certainly did not appreciate them being around the two of them lmao#but like. shakes tesilid. can you be less normal about them. think about them in your head sometimes maybe#i know youve probably seen them everyday for the last [censored] number of years but please throw me a bone#i want to see hestio and ephael reacting to the knowledge that tesilid has regressed for god knows how long#wait thats the plot of the hestioreed fic maybe its time to go back to that#screw the prequel itll get done when it gets done....#hm thats also the plot of the genderbend au but that au has tesilette and im just kinda 😭 not interested in writing romance#or more specifically the falling in love process. i just want them already in the blender that is one sided pining
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our-lady-of-mcr · 5 months
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#also god bless my friend who pointed out that im moving up and im going to be in a salon soon and will actually be doing something good with#my life vs the friend who did me this way pretending shes still in high school that freaks out and loses all her friends every 6 months#i wish it didnt bother me. and i know in 2 months im going to have brushed it off and move on like i always do when bad shit happens#but for the wound being fresh this shit just fucking sucks i hate it i hate it i hate it#i made a very very very vague post on reddit just asking for advice#and the more popular reply was someone more on my side who basically said i should tell her to go fuck herself pretty much#and the second one was someone who v obviously did not actually read the post who said it was all fluff and basically defended her even#when in my post i am saying i defended myself while still listening to the shit she says#and i fucking hate reddit bc people are so.....quick to be hateful and judge#and i knew to expect people being hateful but god DAMN like you yourself are basically saying theres not enough info (yes there was) and you#still are quicker to assume im in the wrong#meanwhile everyone who knows her is like bitch we told you to not forgive her last time and now look where you are#and i am not a perfect person i have flaws the same way everyone else does. literally everyone has said and done shit they regret#and i have fucked her over before because she lost her fucking mind on a campus manager and an educator and she told me to find my own ride#home because i didnt defend her losing her shit and screaming at everyone and ended up having to write an incident report (so did the other#girls who watched it happen so nOT just me) anyways now she uses that as an excuse for treating me like fucking trash because she finally#found out about the god damn incident report which made it so now anyone can say i said anything and she just believes it#its such a fucking joke to me because like ????? girl if we were in opposite positions you would have filled out the fuckin report too#granted it was a handwritten letter and not a report but it was basically the exact same thing as an incident report#my bad that a year ago i wrote a letter saying i was scared you know where i live and that youre mentally unstable. funny how a year later i#feel the same way all over again! except i dont because im not scared of her anymore shes a fucking theater kid who needs to get a grip#i cant wait to look at my self tag again in 2 years and be like DAMN REMEMBER WHEN THAT HAPPENED#every single person who knows her that isnt friends with her (i am basically refusing to text her friends bc i dont even want to know)#keeps telling me i didnt do anything wrong and ive given her too many chances and she fucks me each time#i just wish she would go get help bro there is something so wrong with her#self
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autumnation · 10 months
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getting really sentimental with the ocs today
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crest-of-gautier · 1 year
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played a very brief session of pq tonight (90 minutes) 👍
#lizz.txt#i dont got nothing to say for this i did some quests + some strolls. mostly posting so i remember whens the last time played the game LOL#the stroll of akihiko and mitsuru theorizing and thinking about teddie and his costume was very amusing to me#i want to play so many persona games right now...#working through pq because i love novelty!!!! and ofc as mentioned b4 i do want to replay fes... I NEED TO SEE MINATO'S ROOM!!!#minato room.png is not enough i need to be moving my left sticka round and running around in circles and breathe in every bit of port islan#and (sighs) i also have. kind of wanted to revisit royal. it's been nearly three years since i played it#and i think i've become much more attentive to details and writing since then and im curious what things i would have missed#but also i just really miss mawuki. i really like him a lot#i would say that i want to play p4g but a part of me is like 'i don't think my brain can handle the yosk' (HES TOO POWERFUL FOR ME)#im hardly acquainted with golden's specific mechanics and weather system im not gonna consider playing it until i finish pq lol#or i'll consider it when i really feel the need to poke around yosk's brain... yeah ive watched my friend play it but!!!#i enjoy letting games sink in (i need to spend several minutes deconstructing one line and i like pressing the a button when im ready)#anyway GOOD NIGHT i hope you all have an excellent day#i've missed persona a lot lately ohhh. i dont really know what to draw 4 it rn but i do know i wanna consume the media LOL
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