alchemiclee

[alchemiclee]

Being neurodivergent means constantly grieving your old hyperfixations or special interests as new things come and take over, sometimes permanently replacing the old.

Coming to terms with the fact that you’re allowed to love more than one thing so wholeheartedly, so consumingly, is something I still struggle so much with.

In part because I feel guilt for “abandoning” my old interests & not spending as much time/any time on something that would keep me up at night, feeling that love fade to the background - but also because it’s exhausting to care for things so deeply. It takes an extremely heavy toll to give 150% to multiple things.

[alchemiclee]

whe I havw to go to work, i'm extremely slow at doing things. it took me 3 days to write up an interest check for my art. i didn't even put it into a form yet. I just wrote an outline for it. because it takes me hours to convince myself to pick something back up again once i'm interrupted, if I can even do it at all. most of the time I move on to the next thing and never finish. starting is way easier than continuing once interrupted. it's like when you are woken up in the middle of a dream. chances are you cant go back to sleep and continue the dream. my adhd/autistic brain cant switch tasks easily or get back to previous tasks that were incomplete and didnt have a proper break point. i've tried every tip and trick to help myself and nothing works. my chronic pain and illness on top of the constant work interruptions doesn't help at all when it comes to doing things. I need so mamy long breaks. but imagine if I can focus on what i'm doing full attention until i'm ready to stop on my own and/or complete things. maybe i'll be unstoppable and do so many things!

[alchemiclee]

i've never been a huge shipper. just once in a while for fun. my ships have been more found family ships. but phaidei has attacked and I cant stop. I didnt even finish 3.1 yet. this is all mostly because fanart of them is so pretty

[alchemiclee]

my hand slipped

[alchemiclee]

haaattee that ✨ is associated with ai. that’s my emoji, not urs. you’re NOT whimsy.

[alchemiclee]

I scheduled the lost IBBs to post every monday until December. so look forwards to weekly IBBs for a few months :)

little bladie 131 : found weapons in the candy dish 🍭🍬🍫

[alchemiclee]

little bladie 131 : found weapons in the candy dish 🍭🍬🍫

[alchemiclee]

I just looked through my drafts and found some itty bitty bladie posts that somehow never got posted :0 so I will have a few more to share with you!

[alchemiclee]

[ 16/08/25 ] Sua’s Instagram Update: 2/2

Obrigada amor Amigos💚

[alchemiclee]

[ 16/08/25 ] Sua’s Instagram Update: 1/2

Obrigada amor Amigos💚

[alchemiclee]

instead of doing my job, I just spent half an hour trying to figure out what kind of bug I found i found and doing research on this bug.....and didnt even realize I was doing this until I read all there was to read about this bug. this is why I hate adhd.

[alchemiclee]

just realized I have over 100 followers now! yippee! first of my current social media to reach 100! thanks all for following and hope you continue to enjoy my art and other nonsense! 🩵🥰

[alchemiclee]

I periodically see ships that make me go "What?! No! No!" and then move on and don't harass anyone and feel so strong and brave.

[alchemiclee]

one thing about running things alone instead of as a team when hosting an event or anything like that, is that people are more likely to complain and demand things and try to make you do things *their* way if they dont like the rules and plans you set. and I have a bad habit of people pleasing and trying to accommodate everyone the best I can. my upbringing has made me very susceptible to guilt tripping and demands made by others. it's hard for me to put my foot down and tell people "no, this is the way it is" instead of trying to take every complaint to heart to make things better. it's hard to tell between actual advice/suggestions that are important to consider and unfair complaints and demands. i've hosted things in the past where people complain or demand and threaten to leave if I dont do it, which is unfair to do for a small event that only has 5-10 people joining. it's like people know it's easy to manipulate a single person, but are less likely to go after a full team.

this is one reason I havwnt tried to run a zine or art events, or anything bigger than a secret santa. the pressure people would put on me as a single person would be way too much. I dont have enough friends to form a team, and I, no offense, cant trust strangers to help, because we might not match and agree and I dont have the social skills or energy to navigate getting everyone on the same page. it was hard enough getting people on the same page for secret santa, and I mainly brought them in just in case I needed help, but managed to do most of it myself in the end.

my main issue with running events is the social aspect. interacting with others is so hard. i'm autistic. I cant mask. I cant seem to learn how to socialize no matter how hard I try and how much I research on how to, and ra dom strangers are never accommodating or understanding, so if i were to do an event again, especially something more involved than a secret santa, I'd need a team. I need people to handle the outward work while I focus ln behind the scenes work. I like to make plans and ideas and organize things. someone else can answer questions and share the information! dont perceive me!

[alchemiclee]

*dusts off hands* welp now that this blog is dedicated solely to fanart…i can announce that i’ll be designing a whole bunch of genshin character postcards for upcoming cons :)

i have a few characters in mind, but let me know if y’all have requests! my goal is 24 postcards total, including this one 🦋

and once i finish the genshin series, there are a few other franchises i’m planning to make a postcard line of…

[alchemiclee]

before anyone forgets. every fandom is annoying. hope this helps ❤️

[alchemiclee]

the funniest thing about phaidei for me