#i mean i got paid like $700 last week and i get paid one more time next week before i’m off for school but still :/ | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

blanketburritoofshame · 2 years ago

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Long post, feel free to scroll past. Just venting emotions.

My husband got his final rejection letter from the social security office for disability. On one hand, this is devastating- I had already spent a bunch of the money in my mind on things like fixing my teeth, getting my eyes checked and glasses, etc. And it would have been a significant amount of money given that we have been pursuing this course of action for over two years. Just the back pay could have paid off all our debts and then some.

I feel this deep impending seense of doom because this is only the start of what will be a long hard battle with him.

A little background. I've had clinical major depression since I was approximately 15. Anxiety came later, after life had rolled me around a bit. When I met him, I was very upfront with my diagnosis- I learned a long time ago that if they run at the beginning, it's easier. And he admitted to having had some of the same problems. A kindred spirit. Someone who could understand if I just...couldn't...some days. Fell in love, hard.

Now, he's four years younger than me, which only matters in some contexts- like this one. I'd been out of high school for a while when we met, and hadn't been able to do the collage thing but he had. He got his associates shortly after we got together. However, this meant that when I desperately needed a change and posited moving together 700 miles away...I took him basically from the warmth of his mother's womb into the cold harshness of the real world. His mother did everything for him (including washing his clothes, cooking, and picking up after him when she couldn't stand the mess anymore), so he never bothered to learn to do these things on his own. Never came into his own rythyms with chores and basic living. But that's a whole other story, and I married him.

So. When we were 700 miles away from anyone to fall back on, my depression started getting worse. I struggled along for three more years before having a big breakdown and coming to some conclusions, finally admitting some things and making a very big decision. I needed to begin the process of getting disability payments. I kind of knew this would change a lot of things for us, because it wasn't going ro be very much and we had been scraping by before. But I did it. And because of my long history, multiple medical professionals diagnosing me, and reliance for many years on medication, I was approved in six months. The happiness that came from not having a long drag out battle didn't last long. Before the ink could dry on my first check, he lost his job.

Through no fault of his, though they never told him why. They implied something like downsizing.

He had loved that job. Loved the fairly good (if not ideal for his qualifications) pay, the people he got to work with, and the work itself was adjacent to his field of study. He took its loss pretty hard. And I mean hard. Began displaying classic depression symptoms like listlessness, fatigue, suicidal ideation, and general hopelessness. I understood, and Covid hit like a freight train about two weeks later, so I didn't push him. That was probably my first big mistake, not forcing him to face the world and try to get back on his feet.

He didn't even try for another job for six months. Fine, he needed to recoup and rebuild the confidence that had shattered. Pandemic was an excuse also, because nowhere was hiring. When he finally found a fast food job (which was actually pretty cushy, and astonishingly offered him more than the previous job in his field had), he lasted two days. Broke down third morning with a panic attack. Panic attacks are unreasonable and irrational, and his situation was not all that dissimilar to mine when I decided I couldn't work anymore. This pattern of him copying me would become apparent later, but at the time I just sympathized.

He started two more jobs, but didn't last more than two weeks at either of them. He was hired for a small, relatively stress free job and never brought himself to even show up for training. I floated the idea of him trying for disability to get acess to some of the resources that I was given when I was approved. We (by which I mean mostly me. It stressed him out to much) did the paperwork and got him in to see my psychiatrist. She agreed that he had generalized anxiety disorder and some general depression. He got on meds.

Big things happened soon after, and we were obliged to move back the 700 miles to stay with his mother (you know, the one who does everything for him). We are sitting with his brother one day, and he gets on the topic of mental health- says he's been diagnosed with clinical major depression, recurrent severe and major anxiety. Red. Flag. 'Major anxiety' is not a valid diagnosis, and I had seen his depression results. There was no mention of major depression- mild, single episode, somewhat recurrant. He tacked on 'psychosis symptoms' in another conversation, which had been a diagnosis I had gotten when one of my meds started making me paranoid. He hadn't been back to see a provider yet to be rediagnosed (y'all, moving with medicaid is hard), so I had no idea where these were coming from. I wait until we're alone, and tell him I think he's misremembering my diagnosis as his own, and he tries to convince me otherwise. I drop it- second major boo boo. Third conversation where he pulls out those bombs, and I call him out. He walks back to a middle ground, and I reiterate that I don't like him doing that when we're alone.

We finally see a provider, and I just KNOW he told the guy he'd been diagnosed with major depression. Suddenly, he's on most of the same meds as me. Whatever, maybe I'm seeing things that aren't there. They start a workup to try to continue the application for him to be on disability. He gets two rejection letters. We decide to get a disability lawyer, and together we convince my husband to go into therapy. The lawyer stressed that he needed to show as much medical opinion as possible. He starts therapy, and I ask him one day how it's going. He's totally fine telling me that the therapist mostly lets him just talk about general stresses like the state of the world at the moment, etc. Which, granted, he can be very hard to steer a conversation around and he was working with students on psych rotation, not actual doctors. But thats...not what therapy is for...

The last appeal comes, and it's an in person hearing. Alone. I have no idea what he said. Immediately after, he starts flaking hard on his therapy, not even wanting to go. He ends up having to change therapists to this old man who is an established psychologist. He goes to one session and immediately hates the man. When I ask him why, he says it's because the guy kept interrupting him and asking things like what he's doing to improve his day to day functioning. Decides he's never seeing him again. -_-

A few days ago, he starts talking about starting a side business buying and flipping electronics like game consoles. He'd found some auction site that apparently sells things like returns and overstock as pallets. He wants to buy a pallet, 'something small at first, a couple hundred bucks', fix anything that needs to be fixed (I forgot to mention his degree is in IT, so he could reasonably be able to fix them) and sell them for a profit. Where is he gonna get the money, the space to store the stuff, the space to work on them, and how is he realistically expecting to sell them? He'll figure it out.

That brings us to today, when the letter of room arrives. He's supremely unbothered, like I didn't just let him waste two plus years of our lives playing video games and watching youtube all day. Like...I had dreams of maybe moving out of his mother's hell house (it has structural issues and a bitch in the shape of her boyfriend. Four people in this place is a nightmare). I dared to hope for independence again.

And that's not even the thing I'm really conflicted about. I have that deep need to cry for what now can't be, but I also have the bottomless put of dread of how I'm going to convince him to stand up and start acting like a 30 year old man. I expect absolutely no help from my mother in law.

She's the kindest, sweetest person, but also a hopeless enabler. She ACTIVELY goes out of her way to do things -things that as grown ass human beings, we should be doing for ourselves. She washes my panties, for cripes sake!! You cannot talk her out of it. I had to fight her to let me do the weekly trash so I'd feel like I was contributing to the household. There's no hope in the world that she's going to tell him to get off his ass and get a job. After all, we've been getting by on just my social security payment and his mother's insane generosity for two years now, why would he change it?

And the bitch of it is, I now have to tell my therapist. See, I've been going to my therapy an working on trying to be better (I know I'll never be normal, and that there's really no 'cure' for depression. I've long since accepted that). Trying to not just be a bump on a log all day, working on my social issues and putting in the effort to learn how to marginally function. And the last few sessions, we've been focusing on my husband (which is, honestly why I can point to where I went wrong). Trying to work out a way for me to get past my fear of conflict and lay some things out for my husband. And now I have to tell him this.

WHY do I feel like I am the one who failed?

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mousedetective · 3 years ago

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Disabled Queer Woman Needs Help...Please Don’t Delete?

Okay. So I’m putting everything in one post so I don’t have to reblog a bunch of them.

I am in serious need of help. I had to take out over $1000 in payday loans to cover various things this month, and then when I took out a $700 loan to help pay those down at an exorbitant rate (when I’m done paying the loan back in a year, I’ll have paid over $3,000 because of the interest) I had to pay off three bills instead. So while I have no regular bills to pay, I still owe the loans.

I also lost my food stamps last month, and it was used to feed myself, my mother and my teenage son. I got $138 a month plus an extra $99 for the pandemic, but that still isn’t enough to feed my son, even though I only have him on weekends. My mother has broken teeth which makes chewing hard, my son is autistic so he has food favorites which are all he wants to eat, and I just want to have a pantry where I can make a meal.

Speaking of my mother, she has to travel all over San Diego to get her broken teeth taken care of. She has four root canals coming up in three separate appointments, plus she has to have an oral surgeon remove the broken teeth/dead roots, and then, eventually, she’ll hopefully get bridges for her missing teeth. She’s also a breast cancer survivor who didn’t get breast reconstruction at the time of her double mastectomy, so she’s getting it now and running into problems with the expander she had put in (one side of her chest inflates, but the side that was radiated isn’t inflating more than what it already has no matter what they do so she has to have a flap surgery, which means she stays overnight for that appointment). We have to go to Solana Beach from Fallbrook every week for them to expand her other side so we need gas money/gas cards for that, and I need to get Uber gift cards to get her to and from the hospital for the surgery/surgeries since I don’t drive.

And regarding my son, his adoptive family is...not the nicest (his adoptive mother is looking into putting my son in a group home, even though he’s 18). They make us travel from Fallbrook to Old Town Transit Center twice a week to pick my son up for weekend visits and then drop him off. It takes us half a tank of gas each trip, so that’s $40 (not counting food) to have him for the weekend. And he’s so miserable at home (his highlight is three group therapy/day trip with other people like him vists a week) and he begs to come stay with us every week. L, his adoptive mother, offers no help with gas, food or clothes (he comes in one outfit and is expected to go home in a clean one that he didn’t come to my home in). So I need at least $40 a week for that, like I said, not counting food and clothes.

I am drowning in debt and stress. I need so much help and I don’t know what to do. I beg for help and sometimes I get lucky but most often I don’t and friends need to step in, but they can’t always help. I can’t keep doing payday loans and I need to get rid of that $700 as swiftly as possible, which if I can pay it in full on the 3rd will be $1,000 with fees.

These are the ways I can accept monetary payments:

PayPal - [email protected]

Cashapp - $afteriwake23

Venmo - @penaltywaltz

I also have an Amazon Wishlist to help with things we need now, things we need when my mom goes to surgery and other things we need in the future. I need one box of cat litter and some of the jasmine tea now (I can’t drink soda, it makes me sick, so I drink a lot of tea), and anything else anyone can help with. It’s located at https://www.amazon.com/hz/wishlist/ls/2IYLMSXNYF5HY?ref_=wl_share.

Please help if you can, or reblog if you can’t. I don’t know what else to do. I reblog posts for anyone in need and I hope people will return the favor and reblog this while I’m in need. Thank you and may you be blessed today.

#signal boost #donations #urgent #please donate #please reblog #please help #donate #mutual aid #queer #disabled #need help #crowdfunding #crowdsourcing #fundraising #amazon wishlist #please share #please send me stuff

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96thdayofrage · 3 years ago

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A five-day course of molnupiravir, the new medicine being hailed as a “huge advance” in the treatment of Covid-19, costs $17.74 to produce, according to a report issued last week by drug pricing experts at the Harvard School of Public Health and King’s College Hospital in London. Merck is charging the U.S. government $712 for the same amount of medicine, or 40 times the price.

Last Friday’s announcement that the new medicine cut the risk of hospitalization among clinical trial participants with moderate or mild illness in half could have huge implications for the course of the coronavirus pandemic. Because it’s a pill — as opposed to monoclonal antibodies, a comparable antiviral treatment that is administered intravenously — molnupiravir is expected to be more widely used and, hopefully, will cut the death rate. In the first 29 days of the trial, no deaths were reported among the 385 patients who received the drug, while eight of the people who received a placebo died, according to the statement put out by Merck and Ridgeback Biotherapeutics, the two companies that are jointly launching it.

In addition to having huge implications for health, the pill could bring staggering profits to both Merck and Ridgeback Biotherapeutics. A small Miami-based company, Ridgeback licensed the medicine from Emory University in 2020 and two months later sold the worldwide rights to the drug to Merck for an undisclosed sum. Although Ridgeback remains involved in the development of the drug, some have described the deal as “flipping.”

Like the vast majority of medicines on the market, molnupiravir — which was originally investigated as a possible treatment for Venezuelan equine encephalitis — was developed using government funds. The Defense Threat Reduction Agency, a division of the Department of Defense, provided more than $10 million of funding in 2013 and 2015 to Emory University, as research done by the nonprofit Knowledge Ecology International has revealed. The National Institute of Allergy and Infectious Diseases, part of the National Institutes of Health, also provided Emory with more than $19 million in additional grants.

Yet only Merck and Ridgeback will reap the profits from the new antiviral, which according to Quartz could bring in as much as $7 billion by the end of this year. After the announcement of the encouraging clinical trial results on Friday, Merck’s stock price climbed, while stock prices of some vaccine makers sagged. Despite its initial investment, the U.S. government seems to be facing a steep markup in prices. In June, the government signed a $1.2 billion contract with Merck to supply 1.7 million courses of the medication at the $712 price. The transaction is due to take place as soon as molnupiravir receives emergency use authorization from the Food and Drug Administration.

Reasonable Terms

Good government advocates are pointing out that because federal agencies spent at least $29 million on the drug’s development, the government has the obligation to ensure that the medicine is affordable. “The public funded this drug, and therefore the public has some rights, including the rights you have it available under reasonable terms,” said Luis Gil Abinader, senior researcher at Knowledge Ecology International.

In an interview on CNBC, Ridgeback co-founder Wendy Holman noted that the company asked for but “never got government funding” to help manufacture molnupiravir. A whistleblower complaint filed by Rick Bright, the former director of the Biomedical Advanced Research and Development Authority, or BARDA, in May 2020, described Ridgeback’s unsuccessful efforts “to secure approximately $100 million” from BARDA to develop the drug as a Covid-19 treatment. The company’s press release about the study results also noted that “since licensed by Ridgeback, all funds used for the development of molnupiravir have been provided by Merck and by Wayne and Wendy Holman of Ridgeback.”

Abinader was critical of Ridgeback’s failure to acknowledge the government’s initial investment in the drug before the company acquired it. “What they want to do, apparently, is to shape the narrative about who paid for the development of this drug in order to avoid demands from the public to make it available at reasonable prices,” he said.

In an emailed response to questions submitted to Ridgeback Biotherapeutics for this article, Davidson Goldin wrote, “Ridgeback has never received any government funding for molnupiravir and self-funded the development of this medicine for treating SARS-CoV-2 when the government did not provide financial support.” Merck did not respond to inquiries about this article.

No Strings Attached

Merck has promised to make molnupiravir accessible around the world and has already entered into licensing agreements with five Indian companies that manufacture generic drugs. “Merck has committed to providing timely access to molnupiravir globally, if it is authorized or approved, and plans to implement a tiered pricing approach based on World Bank country income criteria to reflect countries’ relative ability to finance their health response to the pandemic,” the company said in its announcement of the trial results on Friday. Indian companies are planning to price the drug at less than $12 for a five-day course, according to recent reports.

In the U.S., and likely in many upper-middle-income and all high-income countries, the price will be determined by the market. Noting that the treatment may be offered to people who are not yet severely sick with Covid-19, health advocates fear that will mean some in these countries will not be able to afford the new drug. “Offering someone a $700 treatment when they don’t yet feel that ill is going to mean that a lot of people are not going to take it,” said Dzintars Gotham, a physician at King’s College Hospital in London and a co-author of the report on the pricing of molnupiravir. According to the report, pricing molnupiravir at $19.99 would allow a company a 10 percent profit margin.

Melissa Barber, a doctoral candidate at the Harvard School of Public Health and co-author of the report on molnupiravir, said that, while its pricing is not as extreme as that of some other drugs, it will likely still place the antiviral out of reach of some who could benefit from it. “If you can’t afford medicine because it’s 1,000 times more than you can afford, or because it’s 100 times more than you can afford, it doesn’t matter,” said Barber. “Those are both bad.”

Barber and Gotham acknowledge that the $17.74 cost of producing a five-day course of the antiviral pills is an estimate but said that the algorithm they used, and have employed to estimate the production costs for hundreds of drugs, tends to result in overestimates in the long run.

Meanwhile, the prices that private companies charge for drugs tend to go up rather than down. “For all these deals that have happened for therapeutics or vaccines, the price has only increased as uncertainty has decreased,” she said. “One price is given and then, for the next sale, the price goes up. The price went up for other drugs and vaccines, so I would be very surprised if this price didn’t go up, too.”

The pricing differential should be grounds to demand a better price under the Bayh-Dole Act, according to Knowledge Ecology International’s Abinader. Bayh-Dole, passed in 1980, regulates the transfer of federally funded inventions into commercial property and allows the government to “march in” and suspend the use of patents that were developed with government funding if it determines that the products are excessively priced.

“The pressure for march-in rights around this drug is going to be huge,” predicted Abinader, who suggested that the government could use the law to lower the price of molnupiravir. “When the Biden administration negotiates another supply agreement with Merck, they should probably leverage those rights in order to get a better price,” he said.

According to Gotham, who is based in London, the short story of molnupiravir already sums up the best and the worst of the U.S. pharmaceutical system. “It’s a great coup that the American government funded some scientists to develop antivirals,” he said. “The great tragedy is that, after their great success, they just gave it away to private industry with apparently no strings attached.”

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xadoheandterra · 3 years ago

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So I’m basically kind of fucked? Finances wise? And I hate it.

See I was doing so well but I forgot to calculate the cost of food and then I got sick which means my work hours for this pay period is literally 50 hours instead of 60 which sucks. It’s even suckier because I WANT TO BE WORKING 70 HOURS SO I CAN HAVE MONEY BUT I CAN’T WORK 70 HOURS FOR SOME REASON???? That reason of course being that I work surgery shift on Tuesdays and Thursdays and surgery is variable on if we will have hours or not and guess what? We got done early last week, this week we had to cancel one surgery day and spread out the work....

Which made the second surgery day just an hour longer than normal roughly, but of course I got sick. I had worked out a work around of doing projects in the clinic on Tuesday since the surgery shift got changed around but I got fucking sick. So those extra hours? Only got 3 of them, instead of the 6 I wanted.

Did not get any extra hours on Thursday because I started to run a fever toward the end of my shift so I left early. Fucking perfect. Am still running a low-grade fever today so I’m not working because I feel like death.

Which all told means I’m getting a net pay of less than 400$ if we are not getting paid with our supposed to be coming raises. Of which I don’t know what that amount is, so I can’t calculate that amount, but at any rate it is less than what I would like. Especially as I had planned to have closer to 700$ for rent due Nov 1st so I didn’t have to beg my parents for even more money because I hate being the financial burden that I am on their already limited resources given my father is retired.

At most I’ll be able to cover maybe like 150$ of my rent which means I have to beg dad to help with the remaining fucking 1600$....GOD FUCKING DAMN IT.

I WAS DOING SO WELL.

#xadohe hates adulting #xadohe hates finances #xadohe on the move

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heyheshi · 4 years ago

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"Baby, we're going to have our own family!"

2.9k words

written and uploaded: July 13, 2020

🦋 - fluff

🌙 - angst...?

Please like and reblog! Also please don’t post my writings anywhere!

Also this was supposed to be really short, like just about 700 words but I couldn’t help it!

Masterlist

Part 1

Part 2

_________

"H, are you sure you want to go to the doctors with me?", you asked your husband for the third time in the last 30 minutes.

"Baby stop doing that!", furrowing his eyebrows as he looks at you accusingly - talking about how you're asking him that question again and about your food as you toy it around your plate using your fork.

Earlier after he woke up, Harry made sure that your day starts off as great as possible. He's so giddy. He knows that this day is going to be wonderful. He can just feel it - and so he made sure to wake you up with his kisses and a huge variety of healthy breakfast.

By "huge variety of healthy breakfast", that meant different slices of fresh fruits and organic vegetables, whole-wheat bread, cereals, yogurt, scrambled eggs, bacon (your absolute favorite and he cannot forget to add that), freshly squeezed orange juice, fresh cow milk, and mixed nuts.

He really went all the way with your meal and you're really thankful for that. 2 months ago, you would think that the two of you can't finish all of this food in just one sitting but how wrong could you be? Harry ate a lot but you're kind of having almost the same portion as him, not that he minds, he wants to keep you as healthy as possible for the baby on the way even though you told him that you're not certain about it just yet.

He made sure to talk to the hotel's head chef just to prepare your breakfast and strictly said "just the best and freshest once for my wife and make sure not to add any preservatives, just all-natural", and that's how you got here.

He even insisted on not ordering a coffee for you. You LOVE your morning coffee but H said that it's not good for your heart - which is true. You think he's being kind of dramatic and overprotective but you like it a lot.

It seems like everything he does is way too great; hormones. But it's not like you're gonna admit it to him anyway, it'll boost his ego more, your husband is narcissistic.

"Babe, babeeee, baby??!", you came back into reality. You didn't even notice that Harry has been snapping his fingers in front of your eyes.

"Sorry, just got ca-"

"Too caught up in my handsome looks, huh?", your husband winks at you, he always teases you!

You just rolled your eyes at his antics, "course not!", you said defensively. "Was just thinking! Plus, I wasn't even staring at you!"

"Yeah sure lovie. What's on that pretty little head of yours, hmm?", he leaned his elbows on the table and put his head on his hand.

"Just thinking 'bout how you took my morning coffee away and thinking 'bout what my lunch's gonna be."

"Stop bein' grumpy", he just chuckled at your answer, knowing your sarcasm really well, "just finish your breakfast so we can leave. Already called the clinic for our appointment. It's at 10 a.m., I don't wanna be late.", he just continued eating his part but you're the exact opposite - you froze.

"You what?"

"What? Said finish your food... and that I booked our appointment...?", he asked uncertainty. He's really confused right now and you are too! You're not even sure why you're confused, you just are. Maybe over the fact that H is so excited about this and you might not even be pregnant.

Of course, you're happy with how he's acting. You're just worried that this might just be a false alarm and it will crush him so much.

"Why did you?", you looked down at your plate then quickly stuffing your mouth with the rest of your food while Harry answered.

"Just wanna be the best dad and husband you could ever ask for", he sounds sad, he really thought that you would be happy, you already talked about going to the doctors last night anyways!

"Okay.", you shortly replied and stood up to your seat rounding the table. Harry felt his chest tightening - too much - he thought, until he felt your arms around his neck from behind and tucking your face on his neck. He quickly interlaced your fingers with his.

"I love you", you quietly whispered to his right ear. "You don't know how much this means to me, you're already the best, gunna be the best dad.", you pressed a kiss on his neck. "I just don't want you to get hurt if I'm not pregnant.", your voice seemed to get quieter with each word.

Harry just stood up from his seat and faced you, "whatever happens, we're going to be okay, alright? If we're not pregnant then it's fine, I'm not going to lie and say that I won't be affected by it because I know I will be, but let's always keep in mind that God already has better plans for us, okay?", he leaned in to kiss your forehead.

You just squeezed your face in his shirt, "I'm scared of another heartbreak. I really want this with you.", you said and Harry felt his shirt getting damp.

"Nothing's going to change. I'll still love you more than ever and will always be here to take care of you", he's now whispering while wiping your tears. Everything about this is so intimate. "I love you too, so much Y/N", with that, more tears fall as you kissed him like your life depends on it.

---

"Patient 104, the doctor is ready to see you.", you heard the nurse called your number.

With shaking limbs, you managed to stand up and walk to the doctor's office while Harry assisted you.

"Mister and missus Styles! It's so nice to meet you in person! I'm Doctor Amelia Welsh, just Doc Amy", your doctor looks friendly and it eased you a bit.

"Harry", your husband shook the doctor's hand then slowly turned to you, "and this is my wife, Y/N.", you smiled as you shook her hand.

"Such a lovely couple! Anyway, you called last night, right Harry?", Doctor Amy asked as she sat on her spinning chair while you and Harry take a seat on the opposite side of her table.

"I did, yes. We wanted to have a check-up on my wife", your husband did all the talking, you know he can sense your nervousness.

You're eyes slowly observed the clinic. It almost looked identical to yours, with the office table on the middle and a medical bed on the far left side of the office and a rack full of different medical supplies, the only difference is that your clinic has so many baby pictures and toys for your patients to play around with.

"Okay, so what seems to be the problem? I already got a hold of your medical records, Mrs. Styles, or should I call you Doctor Styles too?", Doctor Amy joked and it made you chuckle a bit.

"I'm a patient right now so I'll just stick with Mrs. Styles", you felt Harry squeezed your hand that he's holding and you smiled to yourself. He always loves it when you claim your self as "Mrs. Styles". He said it makes him all warm and fuzzy and makes him just wanna love on you all day, every day.

"Why don't you tell me what's wrong."

"Ummm okay, so I've been eating a lot - more than usual, it can be because of stress since I'm a stress - eater...", you took a deep breath and look at Harry then back at her, "also I've been feeling nauseated and often having sickness, but in the afternoon not morning so I thought it might be my eyesight."

"Hmm okay please continue", the Doctor continues jotting down on her note pad at a fast pace, you understand it tho, you do the same stuff every day.

"I'm more often bloated than not but this one's different, my abdomen looks bigger than usual..."

"When was the last time you had your period? I know your period is irregular but I still need to know", the doctor pulled her glasses down on the bridge of her nose.

"I think it was November...", you're really not sure, you gave up on tracking your period when it downed to you that your period is never gonna be regular at all.

"Last time you had sexual intercourse?", your face feels hot but you know that these kind of questions are relevant, on your side you can see Harry's ears become reddish.

As if your husband can sense that you're not going to answer that question, he stepped up even though he's shy about it, "last night."

It's not that the two of you are embarrassed about your sex life, it's the opposite actually, you just want to keep it private.

Doctor Welsh just smiled at both of your embarrassment, "well how long had you been feeling this? Did you took a pregnancy test?", she looked back down and continued scribbling.

"Just this January, I never really paid much attention, and I did, a couple of weeks ago, 12 positives and 3 negatives."

"Okay well, why don't we take a look? You can change into this gown and lay in there", she said giving you the gown and pointing at the bed on her clinic, "I'll be back in a few."

You looked at Harry and as if he can hear the voices inside your head, he pulled you into him and kissed your cheek, "we'll be alright", he smiled at you but you can tell that he's really nervous too.

You both are, this is the break it or make it time of your lives. You're not sure if you're ready for it but you shook your thoughts out of your mind and changed into the gown and went to the bed, Harry hot on your heels, quickly took a seat beside the bed and held your right hand.

"I love you", he whispered, he thinks he's as nervous as the first time he auditioned on the X-Factor, when he asked you to become his girlfriend, or when he asked you to become his wife, all combined.

"I love you too", you kissed his knuckles as he smiled at you.

It didn't take long for the doctor to come back.

"Ready?", she asked and you nodded. She set the machine up and made sure you're comfortable before putting the gel on your tummy.

Nobody dared to make a sound and you never dare to look anywhere besides Harry's eyes as he presses his lips on your palm.

"Okay...", you hear the doctor mumbled that made you whip your head up to her.

You looked at the monitor and saw it, there's a heartbeat. You knew what exactly it was but your husband doesn't since he never accompanied someone to an ultrasound appointment before.

And then the silent room heard it, the heartbeat.

"Wa- was that...", Harry slowly looked at you with red eyes.

"Yes", you whispered while nodding your head.

This is it.

"Oh wait", the doctor said suddenly, you froze, this can't be happening! There's nothing wrong with anything! Everything is fine!

You never dared to look at the monitor and Harry too, much too scared of hearing the next words that will come out of the doctor's mouth.

You're finally pregnant and you're going to love your child with everything you have and you just hope there's nothing wrong with your baby.

"What was it?", Harry asked in a croaked voice, still not looking up.

"Well, I'm seeing... not one, but two heartbeats!"

Both of your heads snapped back at the monitor and there you see it! From a different angle are two little heartbeats, two blips, two fetuses, two babies in the future!

You almost felt your heart stop from so much happiness!

"Congrats you're having twins! You're about 8 weeks pregnant!", Doctor Amy rejoiced but you still cannot move, neither can Harry until...

"I- oh my God! Is this real?! Is this really happening?! Oh God Oh God Oh God!", Harry jumped from his seat covering his face with his hands.

"Baby, we're going to have our own family!", H crouched down next to your bed while slowly kissing your nose and that's when it finally sunk in! You're pregnant! And with twins! This is more than you could ever ask for!

You're nodding your head repeatedly with tears running to your cheeks rapidly while Harry tried to catch everything.

"Happy, I'm so so happy, H."

"Me too my love, me too... twins?! I- thank you so much baby, you're so wonderful to me and I-", you didn't let him finish talking as you kissed him, not caring if the doctor is still in the room.

After you pulled away, you only smiled at him and pecked his lips once again. Harry helped you clean up the gel on your tummy and go back to your seat earlier, the doctor is already there typing on her computer.

"Congratulations again! Twins are hefty but I'm sure you can both handle it!", you thanked her and proceeded to talk about the pregnancy.

"I'm assuming you already know what to expect, what to do, and not to do, and what to eat mostly, yes? Hopefully, you didn't consume any alcoholic drinks during the last at least 10 weeks and no birth control at all", Amy asked.

"We do know, yes. And no, I didn't drink, and no, none at all.", you're smiling so big, mirroring H.

"Well then, there's really not much to discuss other than your next ultrasound. You two would be great parents! Do you have any questions?"

"Not for now, I think...", and Harry agrees with you.

"If you do then don't think twice of calling me. I'll print the pictures and have my assistant help you with the next appointment if you need to be transferred to another country then let her know, I'll have her recommend you on my pals", the doctor smiled and almost left the room but...

"Can you make it 5 copies?", H asked suddenly.

The doctor looked back and laughed, "of course, you'll just gonna need to pay extra on your way out", she replied.

"That's won't be a problem, just make it 5 please!", Harry looks and sounds like a child asking for another cookie.

"It's settled!", with that, the doctor finally left the room.

The silence is really comfortable as you change back into your normal clothes.

"H, why 5 copies? We don't need that much!", you laughed as you slowly approached your husband to leave the room.

He only smiled and simply answered, "one for you, one for me, one for your parents, one for mines, then one for their album - I'm getting it enlarged and framed."

You just melted as his answer so you just hugged him tight, “I’m having your baby, and it is your business”, you joked and he laughed, exchanging "I love you's".

---

You're back at the car now, looking at the ultrasound pictures. You can see on your peripheral vision how big Harry is grinning.

He faced you and lifted up your shirt, the car still in the parking lot of the hospital. Thank God you managed to be discreet as possible, not seeing any paps insight.

"Hello bundles!", he greeted your tummy with a kiss.

"See, I know you're both there, daddy can sense it. Can't wait to hold you both and protect you from the world", he looked up at you. "Please don't give mummy a hard time, especially now that there's two of you and daddy's gonna be away a lot, but I promise to be there while you two bake in there as much as possible!", he kissed your tummy once more and pulled down your shirt.

You can't help but grin at him, "bundles? And bake?", you asked your husband while laughing, your shoulders shaking from how many laughs you're producing.

"Bundles, they're two, that's what you call it baby! Like the buy one take one thing on the store, bundles! And bake cause they're a bun in the oven, your tummy's the oven and they're the buns! Bundle buns!", he looks so excited while explaining his shenanigans to you.

You face palmed yourself but can't help but to fall in love with him more, if that's possible.

"Know what baby? Let's just get lunch, yeah?", he only nod but he didn't find your response offensive.

You secretly loved his terms "bundles" and "bake", it makes your heart warm.

"What're you all craving, tell daddy!", you slapped his arms at his double meaning!

You answered either way, "we want pasta, daddy!", then winked at him.

"If pasta is what my babies want then pasta is what we'll get!", his hands found your lap to hold your hand but yours isn't there.

He then looked at you holding your tummy with a fond smile on your face and he joined your hands with his, both of you caressing your babies.

"32 weeks baby, 32 weeks.", you said to H and he smiled at you, looking back on the road.

"I'm already thinking of getting us a customized Gucci family clothes for when they arrive!", H cheekily said to you but you know he's not kidding so you just agreed along with him.

You know you're gonna love this pregnancy already. Not only you got one, but two babies! You're more blessed than ever! Plus, you're sure that Harry's going to be giving you everything you crave for! Midnight ice cream sessions, here we come!

_____

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therealjordan23 · 4 years ago

Text

Huelet Week 2020: Day 1 - Bad Boy AU

Violet Sabrewing had been the tutor of high school heartthrob, Huey Duck, for about seven minutes now, and she already regretted accepting the "offer of a lifetime," as Webby had described the job.

Her best friend, Webbigail Vanderquack, had grown up alone in Scrooge McDuck’s mansion for the first 10 years of her life… until Donald Duck had shown up with his three rowdy triplet nephews: Huey, Dewey, and Louie Duck. Needless to say, the four spent the rest of their childhood together, and Webby grew close to each of them. In fact, she was even dating one of them. Violet got along fine with Dewey, Webby’s boyfriend, and Louie, her sister's boyfriend, but Huey? He was the school's bad boy, and was also dating the meanest girl at Duckburg High, Gosalyn Mallard. The spunky redhead loved making fun of Violet because she was a straight A student, who was in Junior Woodchucks, and did tutoring on the weekends.

Huey on the other hand was your typical bad boy: he was incredibly handsome with messy light hair, and intense, yet dreamy, dark eyes. Violet remembered he used to wear a simple red polo shirt with a red hat back in their freshman year, but now Huey preferred to wear all black, and usually left his hair wildly untamed. She also remembered how sweet and kind he used to be, but that had all changed when he began dating Gosalyn. He went from being in the Mathletes and Chess Club to the star quarterback of the football team. Huey was also captain of the basketball team, much to Dewey’s dismay. Violet was sure she saw him at a select few Junior Woodchuck meetings, but it felt like he didn’t want to be seen attending those. He went to parties every weekend, skipped class, he was everything that Violet wasn't, but Violet couldn't help but be attracted to him.

Which brought her back to the present—Webby had come up to her a couple of days ago, asking her to tutor Huey.

“He’s being recruited by a bunch of these big schools, but he’s been slacking off. I told him to either get a tutor, or get ready to scrape the gum off of tables in a restaurant.” Webby had said.

In the end, Webby had begged for Violet to tutor him, and Violet had begrudgingly accepted. After all, she was getting paid, and who didn’t like to have some extra cash by their side? And he wouldn’t be too hopeless. Huey was smart… right?

Nope. She was currently watching the teenage boy stuff about 6 pencils into his left nostril.

“Listen,” she groaned, frustrated. “I don’t want to do this just as much as you don’t. There are about 700 different things I’d rather be doing, none of which include watching you stuff a half dozen pencils into your nose.” she said, her voice dry and monotoned as ever.

“Then what are you gonna do about it, Sabrewing? Leave?” he asked with a mean laugh. “That doesn’t really affect me, sweetheart.” he smirked, and Violet hated that his sly smile was enough to make her heart race.

“Cute, but no,” Violet said pointedly. “I’ll tell Webby about this, and I know she’s just about ready to kick your ass at this point, Duck. So unless you want your more than just your pride hurt, I suggest you start giving a shit about school… sweetheart.” she said icily.

Huey stared at her, his mind coming up with no retorts or remarks to shoot back at her. In the loosest definition possible, Violet did have a point. Webby was just about ready to kick his ass into space, and the last thing he needed was a bruised tailbone, and Gosalyn asking about it.

He’ll admit, his and Gosalyn’s relationship didn’t mean much: it was just one of those high school flings. They would go to parties together, he would get black out drunk, and he and Gosalyn would have meaningless one night stands. Then he’d wake up with a pounding headache the next morning, and he’d try to get through the day. Unfortunately, most of that day was spent in school, hence the slacking off.

“Fine,” Huey managed. “Let’s get some work done.”

As Violet explained various things to him, Huey let his eyes wander to her face: Violet was pretty. And not Gosalyn pretty; Gosalyn layered her face with makeup every morning, but Violet seemed… well natural, she wore no makeup, wore no skimpy clothing to make her femine curves stand out, she was just… Violet. And that made her seem more attractive: she had dark skin, something Huey felt drawn to, and dark, curly hair, giving her a mysterious vibe right off the bat. Ever since high school began, she had begun wearing her long hair down, and her face was framed by two bangs. Her current outfit usually consisted of a light aqua Duckburg High hoodie, with black jeans, but she usually changed it up—

“Hubert?” she called, snapping her fingers in front of him.

“Hmm?” he asked.

“Can you repeat what I said?” she asked, frowning.

“Uhh. err… we were on the p-pythagorean theorem, right?” he stammered, flustered that he had gotten so distracted by her face.

She groaned. “We’re on English… let’s go over this again.”

ooo

Weeks passed, and slowly, Violet was starting to make some progress with him. They weren’t friendly, they’d often exchange snide remarks and retorts towards one another, but the air around them was becoming more comfortable, and Violet got over his cocky, arrogant side. Huey on the other hand, found himself wanting to know the type of person she was more and more. She was pretty mysterious, and he only knew one or two facts about her.

He caught her looking at him.

“See something you like, princess?” Huey asked, giving her a shit eating grin. Every time he called her an annoying pet name, it barely fazed her, and Huey was more than determined to find out what pet name she disliked most.

Violet glared at him. “Nothing, Hubert.” she said dryly.

He groaned. “Would you please stop calling me that?”

“What?” she asked incredulously. “You mean your name?”

“My full name,” he corrected, rolling his eyes. “It’s Huey. everyone calls me Huey… expect for you.”

“Well, I personally find it distasteful to shorten down someone’s given name,” Violet sighed. “And if it irks you, then that’s a point for me,” she smirked. “Now let’s go over this concept one more time.”

“Whatever you say… Vi.” he grinned.

Violet whipped around, giving him the mother of all death glares, but Huey was unfazed. He smirked, propping his head up with his hand, as if baiting her into saying something, and Volet faltered: if she showed how much she hated the nickname, then he would just get a little kick out of it. He wanted to annoy her.

She swallowed thickly. “So, when x is equal to negative 1, what is your y value?” she bit out.

He quickly did the math in his head, and smirked. “It would be negative 3, Vi.”

Violet’s left eye twitched, and Huey resisted the urge to grin.

“T-that’s right,” she bit out through gritted teeth. “Let’s move onto the next problem.”

“Sure, Vi.” he nodded.

She suddenly stood up, grabbing him by the collar, shaking him violently.

“SHUT UP!” she roared.

“I can’t even handle how beautiful you are when you’re angry, Sabrewing.” he smirked, making her falter, and loosen her grip on his collar, any form of anger gone.

“W-what?” she asked shyly, now tucking her hair behind her ear.

“I said that I can’t even handle how beautiful you are when you’re angry, Violet.” he said, looking her in the eye, his dark eyes washing over her like a blanket.

Her guard was up. “If this is a ploy to get out of tutoring, I—”

Huey chuckled. “It’s not. I genuinely think that you’re one of the most beautiful people to exist.”

Her cheeks burned. “S-so what does this make us?”

“Friends with benefits?” Huey asked hopefully.

“Hubert!” she laughed, smacking his arm. “I’m serious. If Gosalyn finds out about this—”

He smiled warmly, cupping her cheek. “I broke up with Gosalyn weeks ago.”

“Why?”

“Maybe I knew that this would happen,” he chuckled. “Being around you makes me feel like the old me, Vi.”

She blushed harder. “I suggest you cool it with that nickname, Duck.”

“Oh yeah, what are you going to do about i—” he was cut off when she pressed her lips firmly against his own, making him blush.

When she pulled away, he was a flustered mess.

“I can do that.” she said coyly.

“That, I can get used to.” he smiled, pulling her closer to him. He cupped her cheek, and gently kissed her, and Violet felt as if she were in heaven.

And for the first time in a long time, Hubert Duck felt good again.

ooo

Cheesy, I know, but we need more Bad Boy Huey stories out there :) here’s Day 1 of Huelet Week 2020, @hueletweek2020

#ducktales #ducktales fanfiction #ducktales au #huey duck #violet sabrewing #huey x violet #huelet #huelet week 2020

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soyouareandrewdobson · 5 years ago

Text

The biggest post yet: Analyzing a multipage story

Before I begin, I like to thank every follower so far and the ones who helped me over the course of the last weeks to build this tumblr up. This is for you and in a way the first test run for future, hopefully more elaborate reviews of Dobson’s comics. Hope you enjoy it and learn something.

Without further ado, ladys, gentlemen and the colorful rianbow inbetween, I present the unpublished “So you are a cartoonist?” story about the King of Queens trying to become a comic artist

Okay, this is not quite right. What is going to happen is as followed:

A few years ago Dobson released via his patreon the unpublished sketches of a multipage comic story about the struggles of a webcomic artist by the name of Kevin James, with no relation to the famous comedian who as of recently is also playing a neo nazi in a supposedly pretty damn good home invasion movie.

What I want to do is now go through this comic and point out some of the flaws in the writing/progression, okay? Cause honestly, this is not going to be the worst thing Dobson ever published. But it unfortunately has more than a few little hiccups that show Dobson’s flaws when it comes to creating a story.

So off to the next pages

Now as you can see, it is pretty obvious that the story is heading into a direction where Kevin seems to be a down on his luck creator. Having to work at the blandest named Burger Joint since Good Burger, with discount Doctor Wily as his manager and getting pretty little money into his account. Seriously, only 206 $ plus? I don’t know much about minimum wage in the states, but are you really getting that little even after taxes have been accounted for? Or is it likely Kevin is pretty deep into the reds and his deposit was even putting it into the plus again. If so… yaiks.

And now we are getting into the pages where a few slight problems may show up, depending on your own interpretation of things.

See, in my opinion it is obvious that we are meant to feel sorry for Kevin, cause he lost his minimum wage job now for simply being late. Something that can happen to all of us. And yeah, losing your job when you have not really much in the bank, that sucks. So I would wish for the character to get at least a new job soon. However, we also need to acknowledge that the manager is not in the wrong here. After all, Kevin supposedly has shown up late for work for some time and his excuse that he was late because he had to work on his comic is not reasonable. For a lack of a better word, making this comic is just his hobby, not his job. His job is to make burgers and sell them, because the manager of the burger joint is paying him for that. So excuse me if my sympathy is not that much with him

Not really much to say here. I just want to point out two things: One, the countdown that showed up also in previous pages and goes further down the longer we get into the story, two that it actually may be a good thing that Dobson has not drawn the copy shop employee in more detail. Cause one thing I came to realize over time with Dobson is, that often times his sketches have more of a softness to them than the final product, where e.g. faces are more harsher and frankly, uglier than they need to be, in addition to being a bit oversaturated thanks to the colors. And with Dobson’s tendency to make also angry faces genuinely spiteful, I wonder if the copy shop owner would have come off in the final product as more “strawman mean” than necessary. Cause it is very obvious that “poor Kevin” seems to suffer from the indifferences of his environment.

One month since he was fired and one more month till we are in the present and he loses his electricity cause he has not paid his bills. And this is where I slightly start to lose my sympathy with the character. Again, it is obvious that the story wants us to feel bad for Kevin because he is down on his luck although all he wants to do is just create his comic.

But at the same time, only halfway through the comic I have to ask, how much of his shitty situation is not just him doing nothing against it?

I mean, he has obvious money issues, he can’t pay the electricity bill and he has been fired a month ago. Shouldn’t he at this point not have attempted yet to get a replacement job? Or ask for unemployment support? Do commission work for fans in exchange for money?

I am just saying, his woes become a bit less relatable if he does not really attempt to at least try and fix the situation.

And unfortunately, this development continues still

Gesh, this comic is really old when Kevin still owns a flip phone…

Also, I need to give his mom credit. 500$ send to her son so that he can pay his debts off and live well enough for a few days. Sorry, but 500$ is actually enough for me to live for a month and pay my groceries and major bills if I am careful enough. Lets hope Kevin is the same and that he looks out for a job

… nope, he does not look for a job. Two weeks after he got the money he still does not have a job to support himself and assure he has a roof over his head. In fact, he likely loses more money than he necessarily needs to by going to a diner.

Look, unlike other characters created by Dobson, I really do not hate Kevin. Primarily because he does not show any of the despicable or idiotic traits other characters by him do. But Kevin is not doing anything to improve his situation, period. And that is not really how you should write “down on their luck” characters, cause that doesn’t really make them sympathetic. The sympathy a reader gives those characters stems primarily from the fact, that though they really try their best, fate is not working into their favor for different reasons beyond their control. But here the problem is, that Kevin has to a certain degree control over his situation. He can decide what he wants to do with the money, he can decide to either do or not do anything to improve his situation at least slightly. And he doesn’t do anything.

Dear lord, Kevin is essentially Dobson when it comes to the laters overall situation and how he does little to improve anything when he is stuck.

Then there is also the entire thing about the waitress calling Kevin’s work amazing. For starters, I kinda doubt that that in our modern day society and work environment her acting like that in front of a customer, even if the customer does not mind, would fly with her employer. After all, professionalism and all that. Next, her praise feels shallow. The typical cardboard speech praise checkmark lines you can give to any piece of work, that don’t really mean anything if you do not elaborate on what it really is you find amazing about the characters in terms of personality or what it is about the story that hits home (e.g. can you realte to the characters, are you genuinely thinking the story is funny etc)

In fact, what even is Kevin’s comic?

I get that his work is not the center stage of this story, but think about it: we are supposed to think that Kevin is talented and that he needs his lucky break. But would his work even justify success and admiration? All we know is that the comic features a character called Kat (not really an original name) who for a lack of a better word and based on the sketch outline may just be the bastard offspring of Bubsy and Talus from Alex ze Pirate. And that is it. For all I know, and taking for shit and giggles a made up meta narrative into account, his work may actually be on the same level as Alex ze Pirate itself. And if that is the case, let me just fill out an application as janitor for Kevin right now. If he is lucky he can make around 1000 dollars a month soon.

This right here is actually a prime example of a common problem in Dobson’s longer story: Him breaking the old rule of “show, don’t tell”. The narrative tells us e.g. via the words of the waitress and the fact he has fans, that Kevin is a good cartoonist. But we do not see it for ourselves. And I am not suggesting here Dobson should draw 20 additional pages of Kevin’s creations and comics, because that would be freaking overkill. But imagine if this comic started off with the first page being part of a a very fantastic fight scene or story. Something rich in color and characters. Only for it to be revealed in the next page to be actually NOT the story we are supposed to read, but something Kevin creates right now. By doing so Dobson could not only show for the actual main story that Kevin is justified in having success, Dobson could have also shown for himself how he can be imaginative. How he can toy with tropes and expectations, while also creating something “new” out of nowhere just for fun. But that is not what we got. And all we have now are four more pages.

Again, ONE MORE WEEK passed and he still did not get a job. And in fact, he is also overdue on his rent and wants to ask his mother AGAIN for money.

Dude… I am all out of sympathy. Sell your freaking kidney for all I care, offer your landlord oral sex or that you are going to do work around the house for him, just try to do something except beg mother to help you out again. Especially as she has already send you 500 dollar. What have you done with that money anyway? Did most of it get spend on your electric bill? If so, how huge was it? And did you fail to pay rent for a couple of months now that even your landlord is having enough? I ask the later in part because I genuinely do not know how fast a landlord can vacate you in the US. See, where I live you can get vacated too when you don’t pay up, but most landlords are by law forced to at least let you stay for a few more weeks till you either find a way to pay up or another place to live. Forceful removal of a tenant can mostly only happen if the person causes severe damage to the apartment or is facing criminal charges.

So NOW you are looking for a job. Good luck getting 700 dollars in three days though. I can’t imagine that even if you get hired, that anyone will pay up that amount of money upfront to help you. Again, do you have no other options, Kevin? Also, for how long was that sign up there? How often have you gone by that diner? Also dear lord, the waitress really is not the smartest if she thinks being a webcomic artist pays all the bills

So if the manager has already found someone, even if it was “just” now, why was the “now hiring” sign even still in the window? And he assumes there are even more bills? Kevin… do you have a genuine problem when it comes to handling finances? Would you do better, if you only get an allowance? Just one more page. And with it my biggest complains

And so our comic ends with all the build up of how down on his luck Kevin is, being essentially pointless, because at the end of the day he is still lucky and all his problems get resolved not by his own doing but by deus ex machina.

Okay, this is not entirely accurate.

After all, Kevin DID create this comic. He wrote it, he drew it, he send the script to multiple publishers, he got rejected multiple times and now he is also going to finally get recognition for it all. You can say he worked to get his foot into the industry. The problem is, that none of that work is really shown in the story presented to us. We do not see him work on the script, potentially rewrite or fix up mistakes, get the impression that even with the bad situation he is in, he still wants at the very least this passion project to succeed. All we know is he worked on something and now because it is convenient for the story, his misfortune is going to end and he gets a happy end that is way too convenient for my taste.

Look, I know nothing about how publishers work. If someone reads this and has genuine experience in how publishers approach you if they are interested in your work and how much money you can really make through it, you are free to tell me what you know or have experienced directly or indirectly. Cause frankly, I find it hard to believe that any publisher would immediately do the thing Kevin now experiences here. First off, why would they not attempt to call him or get into a more convenient contact with him than the mail? Second, advanced payment? Shouldn’t you at least try to handle out basic deals before you send him a paycheck over?

I get it is supposed to be a happy end for Kevin here, but honestly, with the way how even if people are getting published, success may not be immediate or not to a degree Dobson actually hopes for. Sorry, but I am also just jaded enough as a person to know that even otherwise acclaimed work does take time to really hit a certain level of popularity. Luke Pearson e.g., wrote and drew the first volume of the comic series Hilda in 2010, just a few months after he finished college. The comic was a success and resulted in him publishing up to four more books till 2016. But only with his comic being adapted into a Netflix series in 2018 did he also get recognition outside of Great Britain, from which he is likely going to make enough money to have a comfortable life for the next couple of years. Mind you, I said comfortable, not “luxurious”. Cause this is actually one thing I fear with Dobson to a degree: That he thinks that being a successful comic creator equals also becoming stinking rich. Cause as far as I know, this is not really the case for many comic creators around the world. But I digress.

This post is not about the potential delusions of Dobson when it comes to how much of a fortune he could make through a successful publication, this post is about judging a SYAC story that got never published.

And frankly, the story of Kevin James… I don’t hate it. Honestly, I think there is potential for a decent, even longer story about a webcomic artist trying to get his big break. The problem is, this is not a story about the challenges Kevin faces in creating his comic. This is not the story about someone being determined to get his work out, even if he struggles in real life. This is not the story of someone facing and dealing with his real life struggles in a mature way, making the happy end all the more feel rightfully earned. This is a story where honestly there would be no drama at all (or at least less drama), if Kevin even attempted to do something halfway logical most other people in real life would do, if they found themselves in his situation (like looking for a job, trying to work commissions etc.) . And a drama where the dramatic event would not happen if some basic logic even a kid can think off would be applied, is at least for me not really a drama.

So yeah, it is not the worst thing by Dobson, but it is very flawed to say the least.

#so you are a cartoonist #syac #andrew dobson #storytime #comic review #webcomics #comics #multi page #criticism

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keepcopinghoe · 3 years ago

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catch up pt.1

quick rundown of what’s been going on with me

ramo is the first guy that i’ve consistently and personally interacted with since about 2018 and definitely the first guy who actually around my age that i’ve formed a relatively close bond with. i think it’s for this reason that i’m so attached to him. he frequently described himself as an incel (ironically tho) and i think his last actually non-paid-for sexual relationship was back in 2017. so i stupidly assumed that i was the only girl in his life that he was actually close with and this delusion i think in many ways also is what build the foundation behind the inexplicable quasi-infatuation that i have now.

on 06th june he told me about some girl that was part of his i***c*** discord which i already knew he was a part of since ages ago. i asked about her and he said she was from lithuania and that he was pissed off because some other guy was orbiting her which immediately set off alarm bells to me since there’s legit no reason to get pissy that someone else is orbiting a girl unless you like her yourself. he also said some shit to me which i think was unintentionally (or maybe intentionally?) hurtful, about how he could easily afford my prices and that i sell myself way below the market rate (both true but still). i think it’s both these things happening at the same time which particularly stung: ramo orbiting some e-girl who is involved in the same interests and hobbies to a greater extent than i am and also the emphasis that i’m a whore (and a cheap one at that) who no one would ever really consider as a serious dating prospect if they knew anything about my history.

i told him shortly after than i didn’t want to see him for a month or so, making up the excuse that it was because i was gonna be too busy. this is partially true cus i did initially have the plan to work every single day until the date of my breast augmentation/lift surgery which would be 25th june, earning like £700 a day in profit if i worked very hard. that didn’t quite come to fruition because there was some guy who booked with me that left a negative review on UKP which led to a fussilade of criticism from various users about me being a power-tripping time waster who frequently ghosted clients. this is kinda true except the power-tripping part; my timewasting is a direct result of substance abuse problems which is a direct result of whoring myself out to men that i often find unattractive. all in the preceding week (i met ramo on a sunday and this shit happened the following week).

two separate people passive aggressively threatened to send me another negative review over text, i have to provide a discounted rate to two of my regulars due to consistantly missing bookings, someone left me a negative review under my AW profile (which they did through sending a booking request that i didn’t confirm) saying that my service had declined massively over the last few months and that it was like ‘fucking a zombie’ and the final night of working on thursday (10/06), i saw this guy who has followed me under various aliases i’ve had in the past (jade/sana/etc.) and that i last meant at kingston premier inn in like june 2019. would have been a nice blast from the past in some respect but i made a stupid retarded decision to do coke with him - i then sniffed poppers which was retarded as well because poppers are a stimulant and speeds the heart up even further which i didn’t really know at the time. i then got super paranoid that i was gonna have a heart attack and kept telling the client in question to ensure that he call an ambulance if i collapsed, which i’m sure really got him in the mood. his name was james and i stupidly told him my real name. he couldn’t come and i felt like shit because i knew he didn’t enjoy himself - he told me in his mind that he had kind of ‘built’ the meeting up and i suppose it must have fallen massively short of his expectations. it is what it is.

i couldn’t sleep really at all due to the coke. i had several meetings arranged for the next day on friday with regulars all of which i cancelled. i just couldn’t continue on with the same routine of waking up in the morning feeling disgusting because i keep eating junk food delivery, doing an enema, getting drunk and just getting fucked until bedtime even though it was really good money.

i fucked around and went to chinatown on saturday evening and was feeling really happy and relieved about not having to work. i’ve figured that i can just make money after my surgeries and start again under a new profile where i don’t have any negative reviews attached to it and maybe rent out an actual apartment on a monthly basis, since it’d be cheaper than air BnB and i can set things up the way i want. i ate sweet and sour fish and egg fried rice, it was taste (ramo always says that lol).

idk what compelled me to do it but on 14th june, i looked through ramo’s likes on twitter. i think it was because i recalled seeing an obvious girl account in his likes previously - this is something i didn’t really think about at all previously but with the new information he had told me the sunday before, i ended up browsing her account which kind of led to a personal crisis. i found out fairly quickly that this girl was the same one he had referred to on discord (m** on discord, j**** on twitter) simply because there were screencaps on her media referring to the same discord and she was definitely from lithuania. i always assumed that women in these circles were lame and bland tradthots who lacked any kind of constitution beyond mindless pandering to irony poisoned scrotes and genuinely retarded wignats but i was suprised at how immediately endearing this girl appeared even to me, through the internet and as someone i have every reason to feel petty resentment towards.

her shitposts were funny and while she is edgy, she has an underlying sweet and kind disposition. her art is shit but cool in its own scrambled way. she’s also apparently only 16 so it’s understandable - i was a lot more cringe at her age and just as shit at art.

the feeling of inadequacy was overwhelming since in addition to being an actual whore, i’m super cringe, lame and normie compared to her. it made completely sense that ramo would orbit a girl like this and i’ve since completely re-evaluated my position and meaning in his life. it’s a good thing that my cope of feelings of intense inadequacy is to launch myself into a phase of hyper-productivity - i kept practicing drawing (apeing her in a way ig since i recently had kind of given up on drawing), fasting, reading, etc. to try and overcome how worthless and self-loathing i felt at being the unwitting basis of comparison to a young girl who was better than me in every conceivable manner. i even listened to msg 3.

i was in so much pain over this that i couldn’t listen to songs which reminded me of ramo (any i****c*** but specifically drug approved and also temptation) and when i did, i just felt anger at my position and a weird resentment towards him. worth mentioning than ramo had sent me a weird bootycall kind of text sometime before then which came across as really crash, so that made me feel even more devalued.

this is already super long so i’m gonna follow up with a pt. 2 later or maybe edit.

#catch-up #from may 2021 ig #a lot has happened and it would be amiss to just start where things are now without any context especially since it's still quite recent

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introvertguide · 4 years ago

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Hollywood’s Changing Depiction of Slavery

I am generally not that comfortable with discussing this kind of thing, especially the attachment it has to cinema, because it is a reminder that many of the people that created the art I love might not be the kind of person I would actually want to meet. In fact, the depiction of slavery in film over the last century can give you an idea of how the American population thought of slaves and the business of slavery in general. I am going to try and approach this objectively, not because I don’t want to offend (if you are offended by my personal abhorrence of slavery in any form than you can go someplace else for your movie commentary), but simply because I am a middle-aged white male who has never encountered slavery in person and everything I know is second hand. I have seen guest lectures that involved people who walked with MLK Jr in Alabama, but I know very little about black oppression and outright slavery in America beyond history books. So, to keep this educational and not slip into personal bias, I will describe what I have seen in some example films over the last century. You are more than welcome to view the films for yourself, however:

SOME SPOILERS FOR THE MOVIES ON THIS LIST!!! I STRONGLY RECOMMEND WATCHING ANY OF THESE FILMS FOR YOURSELF!!

The Birth of a Nation (1915)

We are starting off rough with possibly the most controversial film of all time. There were protests against this film from both black and white cinema goers even at the time (according to the AFI blurb) and it is evident that the director, D.W. Griffith, overstepped some boundaries as he made the apology piece Intolerance the very next year to win back general audiences. The film depicts Abraham Lincoln positively, which was unexpected to me, and former slaves as animalistic and uncontrolled. The Klu Klux Klan comes along and “heroically” controls the former slaves and depicts the reformation as a time in which white women were afraid to walk the street for fear of attack by former slaves. The lack of support for this film by any black actors is apparent since almost all of offensive black men portrayed in the movie are white actors in black face. As difficult as it was for Black Americans to find work outside of farming and industrial labor in the early 1900s, you still couldn’t even pay them to be in this film. It is hard to gauge if many Americans agreed with the opinions reflected in this film at the time, but some people apparently thought that it was a mistake to free the slaves since black people needed to be controlled and why not get free labor for farm owners at the same time.

Gone With the Wind (1939)

This is a favorite movie in my family so I cringe slightly watching this film now knowing about about Hattie McDaniel’s Oscar and legacy. The role of Mammy was played by McDaniel and she won the Academy Award for Best Supporting Actress...but she had to get special permission to attend the ceremony since the awards were given out at a segregated hotel. She had to use a back entrance and was seated far in the back in an area that was roped off from the white guests. McDaniel was very good at her role since she had played a maid on over 70 occasions and was hassled by the NAACP to use her award as a platform to promote equal rights. I have little reference to what the world thought of the film, but the 13 Oscar nominations and this being the highest grossing film of all time when adjusting for inflation tells me audiences were OK with if not impressed by the portrayals. It seems that America was accepting of the “friendly and accepting” slave who was like a family friend who wasn’t equal but allowed to stay if they did a good job cleaning up around the house. This was not a very accurate portrayal of most slave-master relationships, which McDaniel admits, but she is quoted as saying “it is better to get $700 a week to play a maid then get $7 a week to be one.”

The Legend of N****r Charlie (1972)

During the 60s and 70s, there was a genre of films known as “blaxploitation” which capitalized on the idea that black characters were portrayed stupid thugs that were easily subdued by intelligent white men. This genre did the opposite and featured black heroes who overcame adversity with their power and intelligence, normally over a white adversary. This particular film portrays a slave taken from Africa who is falsely accused of murder and has to run from a racist white sheriff. He turns into a gunslinger and makes a posse of other black gunslingers and this group defeats the evil sheriff and escapes. This portrayal seems as likely as that of Mammy, but the very poor production value and terrible acting (it is pretty difficult to get through) meant no awards. Noting that the box office sales were high almost exclusively at theatres in predominantly black neighborhoods, America was split on the depiction of slaves. White people seemed to be happy with the housemaid while black people wanted a tough hero that rises up and gets vengeance on their oppressors.

Roots (1977): 8 Part Mini-Series

I was unaware that this miniseries was shown over consecutive nights in January of 1977, but tens of millions of people watched all of it (that is 12 hours over 8 nights) and still talk of the impression it made. This movie showed Lavar Burton (you know, the guy from Reading Rainbow and the actor who played the blind guy on Star Trek) as a slave stolen from Africa who was shackled and beaten into a life of submission. This film portrayed slavery as an atrocity that planted seeds of hate and distrust that carried on through generations over hundreds of years. Judging by the ratings, this woke up a lot of Americans to the horror that was slave life. Portraying slaves as happy house maids or whistling old men with big smiles was no longer acceptable. The final episode of this mini-series remains the 3rd highest rated showing of all time according to the Nielson ratings. The series as a whole was nominated for an astounding 32 Emmy Awards and won 9 of them. The low win count was due to multiple actors from the series competing in every acting category. After Vietnam and going into the Cold War, America wanted gritty realism and this seems like exactly that.

Amistad (1997)

I find this to be idea of slavery that I most relate to as realistic. It stars Djimon Hounsou as a slave that leads a revolt against the slave traders on the ship Amistad in which the entire white crew was slaughtered and the offending slaves were brought to American courts to stand trial for murder. This was based on a true account and directed by Steven Spielberg. One might note that the top billed actors are actually Matthew McConaughey, Morgan Freeman, and Anthony Hopkins, but Hounsou absolutely stole the show. I hate courtroom drama in general, but the testimony of this slave was riveting. According to historian accounts, there was a point during this infamous crossing in which it was decided there was not enough food for all the slaves so a couple of dozen humans were tied to a rock and thrown overboard. It has been over 20 years and that still sticks with me. I wouldn’t expect this to be done to cattle, and the scene of the slaves screaming as they know the rock will pull them down and they have seconds to live still haunts me. It encouraged me to look up accounts of slaves and others who saw first hand how bad things got.

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I took a an anthropology class in the early 2000s and I remember learning about evidence that proved the horrific treatment of some slaves. It is true that some slaves were allowed to live in the house and treated like family. It is true that some slave owners paid their slaves a small amount or even freed them in their will. However, there are also many children of mixed heritage that prove the amount of rape that occurred. There are also bones in shallow graves in back of some of these old plantations that show evidence of multiple breaks, amputations, mangled limbs, and broken backs that have no sign of treatment but the wear and tear of continued use. These people were worked and beaten to death. If that is what happened, then I don’t want it glossed over with Hollywood scriptwriting.

But I said I would be objective so I will stop there. I can feel myself getting angry and opinionated as I write. Learning about history and enjoying a story on film for entertainment can be separate things. Deep breaths.

There are many, many other movies that portray slavery including The Color Purple, Song of the South, Django Unchained, 12 Years a Slave, and Glory. I am not as familiar with these films as the ones listed above, in fact I still haven’t seen 12 Years a Slave. What I wanted to demonstrate was that films will often depict social issues in a way that is consumable by the masses, and changes in the way things are depicted can indicate a change in public opinion. From what I see in film, the American population once thought of former slaves as a problem that needed to be solved and bringing back slavery could solve that issue. It transformed to a feeling that maybe slavery wasn’t all bad and some slave owners were pretty good to their slaves. Black Americans responded with a genre that said that maybe slaves were tough and amazing which scared people into trying to control them. After the Vietnam War and Watergate, Americans wanted the gritty truth and films began portraying slavery as horrific and scarring to the point of affecting generations with hate. Todays movies seem to recognize the atrocities and to almost look at these actions the same way we look at genocides: how could we let this happen? The students that I work with are now assigned movies and readings that highlight genocide and enslavement, which means to me that we are not in denial of how bad it was and instead looking into keeping it from ever happening again. Perhaps there will be a different viewpoint in 20 years. Until then, I will keep watching movies to get an idea of what the public thinks.

#films as history #slavery #slavery in film #Amistad #Roots #Gone with the Wind #the birth of a nation #popular culture #introvert #introverts #american history

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theculturedmarxist · 4 years ago

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Bryan Fogel’s “The Dissident” was too hot to handle.

The documentary about the murder of Jamal Khashoggi, the journalist and political activist who was allegedly killed in 2018 on the orders of the Saudi Royal Family, was one of the hottest films at last year’s Sundance. It had glowing reviews, a ripped from the headlines subject, and a big-name director in Fogel, fresh off the Oscar-winning “Icarus,” a penetrating look at Russian doping that got the country banned from the Olympics.

And yet, Netflix, which had previously released “Icarus,” and other streaming services such as Apple and Amazon steered clear of “The Dissident.” Without any interested buyers, the film languished until last fall. That’s when Briarcliff Entertainment, an obscure distributor run by former Open Road CEO Tom Ortenberg, announced it would release the movie on-demand.

Fogel thinks the subject matter was too explosive for bigger companies, which have financial ties to Saudi Arabia or are looking to access the country’s massive population of well-to-do consumers. Using interviews with Khashoggi’s fiancee Hatice Cengiz, as well as friends and fellow activists, Fogel creates a damning portrait of Crown Prince Mohammed Bin Salman’s apparent involvement in brutally silencing the writer and thinker and the country’s crackdown on free speech. Thanks to previously unreleased audio recordings, “The Dissident” draws a direct line between Khashoggi’s assassination at the Saudi embassy in Turkey and the Saudi government’s anger over his outspoken criticism of the country’s human rights abuses and mismanagement.

“The Dissident” is currently available on-demand, but its rather muted release isn’t the way Fogel had dreamed of provoking a larger conversation around Khashoggi’s murder. He spoke to Variety about the difficulty of making “The Dissident” and then getting it seen and why he thinks his new movie had the major streamers running scared.

Why did you want to make “The Dissident”?

After the success of “Icarus,” I felt a great burden and social responsibility to make a worthy follow-up. I was looking for a story regarding human rights, regarding freedom of speech, freedom of press, journalism. I also wanted a story that had real world implications that could create real world change through social action or political action.

As the investigation into the murder of Jamal unfolded, my ears perked up and I immediately started reading more about this man. I hadn’t heard of him, but I found out how trusted and regarded he was as a voice on the Middle East. He was also being presented in many media circles as a terrorist sympathizer or member of the Muslim Brotherhood or a friend of Bin Laden. This was not true. He was a moderate, who was fighting for free speech for his country and believed women should have rights. He believed Mohammed Bin Salman’s policies were putting the country on the wrong direction.

Was it difficult to get his friends and fiancee and family to speak to you?

It was very very difficult. This is where the accolades and recognition of “Icarus” and the Academy Award really changed the conversation. In those weeks following his death every journalist was after Hatice. As I approached her and other people, they were able to see my prior work. Hatice invited me about a month after his murder to come and meet with her in Istanbul. I didn’t bring a film crew. I spent the next five weeks there just building trust. It was a harrowing time in her life and I just kept explaining that I was not there for a day or a week or a month. I told her: if we do this, we’re going to go on this journey together. I promised that if she let me into her life, I was going to protect Jamal.

At the Sundance premiere, you challenged distributors to “…not be fearful and give this the global release that this deserves.” How did that turn out?

[Netflix CEO] Reed Hastings was there that day and so was Hillary Clinton. We had a standing ovation. People were wiping tears from their eyes as Hatice took the stage. It was the same scene at each one of our screenings. We were blessed with incredible reviews from all of the trades. In any normal circumstance, you’d think of course this film is going to be acquired and distributed. And yet not only was it not acquired and distributed, there was universal silence. Not a single offer. Not for one dollar or not 12 million dollars, which was what was paid for another documentary title at the festival. Nothing. It was literally as if nobody knew me. It was that startling and that shocking.

Six months later Tom Ortenberg and Briarcliff Entertainment stepped forward and said, hey we want to distribute this film. That’s wonderful. People will be able to rent this film on-demand. But what I wanted was for this film to be streaming into 200 million households around the world. I wanted people to have easy access to it. Instead we pieced together global distribution here and there.

Will this have a chilling effect on movies that want to tackle these kinds of controversial subjects?

This is a depressing and eye-opening moment that any filmmaker that wishes to tell a story like this needs to pay attention to. These global media conglomerates are aiding and abetting and silencing films that take on subject matter like this despite the fact their audiences want content like this. I was told that “Icarus” has had somewhere in the neighborhood of 700 million views. I don’t know if that’s accurate, but I know it was substantial. The decision not to acquire “The Dissident” had nothing to do with its critical reviews, had nothing to do with a global audience’s appetite to watch a docu-thriller, but had everything to do with business interests and politics and, who knows, perhaps pressure from the Saudi government. Netflix did remove Hasan Minhaj’s episode of “Patriot Act” [at the Saudi government’s request] in 2019 and defended that decision by saying, “we’re not a truth to power company. We’re an entertainment company.” It has been a struggle to get this film into the world and to shine a light on the human rights abuses that are happening in that kingdom. These companies, that have chosen not to distribute this film, in my opinion, are complicit.

Have you had conversations with these companies about why they didn’t want to release “The Dissident”? If so what has been their response?

It has been to not respond.

Is this about money? Are they wary of angering the Saudi Royal Family because they have money from Saudi Arabia or want to access their market?

My guess is both. Decisions are being made that it’s better to keep our doors open to Saudi business and Saudi money than it is to do anything to anger the kingdom. Netflix released a statement regarding Black Lives Matter that is in direct contrast to their statement regarding Hasan Minahaj. One stands behind truth to power and the other says we’re not a truth to power company, so it appears they are a truth to power company when it is convenient. But when their business doesn’t align with that or it might impact their subscriber growth, they’re not. The same can be said for all the streaming companies. In the film, there’s Jeff Bezos on the stage with Hatice. Jamal worked for Jeff Bezos [at the Washington Post, which Bezos owns]. So the same can be said of Amazon. I don’t want to point a finger at anyone because it’s all of them. This is a situation where business, subscriber growth, investment was more important than human rights. There’s got to be greater accountability. Not just on a business level, but on a political level. Trump vetoed the desire of both the House and the Senate to hold Saudi Arabia accountable for this crime. He continued to sell them weapons. He’s trying to get the Justice Department to grant Mohammed Bin Salman immunity from prosecution.

Would you still work for Netflix or the other streamers who declined to release “The Dissident”?

Listen, this is my career. This is my work. I’m sure that I will have other projects that might not take on subject matter like this and are not at odds with their business interests. When those projects come along, I will be glad to work with any of these companies. Look, I love Netflix. I really, really do. I’m so grateful to them because without Netflix, “Icarus” would not have become what it became. I’m not insulted by this. I’m not personally offended. I don’t view anything that is happening as personal. I just view it as business. I can understand it on a business level. I don’t agree with it, but I get it. I’m not mad. I’m disappointed.

What message do you want viewers will take away from the film?

There’s a hashtag #JusticeForJamal and the question has to become what does justice mean? We know that Mohammed Bin Salman will not stand trial for this murder. We know that the henchmen he sent are unlikely to truly stand trial. We have to look to the future. So what I hope people will take from the film is knowledge, because knowledge is power. Just like “Icarus” or “Blackfish” or “The Cove,” I hope this film has the ability to change hearts and minds. As more and more people come to “The Dissident,” I hope there’s a call to action. I hope that takes place on social media or through writing letters to congressmen or senators. The first thing I hope is people will spread the word. The second thing is I hope they will use the power of free speech that we have in this country and are so blessed to have to change the narrative. The Arab Spring happened because of Twitter, the Black Lives Matter and #MeToo movements took hold because of social media. We’ve seen that through combined action, change can come.

Disclosure: SRMG, a Saudi publishing and media company which is publicly traded, remains a minority investor in PMC, Variety’s parent company.

#netflix #saudi arabia #mohammed bin salman #jeff bezos #the dissident #sundance #jamal kashoggi #bryan fogel #cinema #film #censorship

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misslisterkeepsajournal · 4 years ago

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1831 Saturday 8 October

7 10/.. 11

Finish but dull morning and Fahrenheit 66 1/2°. now at 8 1/4 a.m. - Took Cameron and went down at 8 35/.. to the beach, and to the fisherman's house there, to get someone to shew me up the south side of the chine by the private path the fisherman has made, and keeps in repair for the use of strangers and others who choose to pay for it - great part of the path is washed away every winter, for the cliffs are but sand which easily falls away - it began to rain at 8 3/4, yet not heavily, so sauntered quietly up the chine, really a pretty little winding cleft - rather wooded on the north side in the first and wide part, but nothing can remain on the south side, too steep - the willows and stuff they plant there sink down to the little brook which swollen in winter washes all away - General Vineys pretty white washed 3 gable-ended cottage seems as seen from the bottom to terminate the top of the chine, but the cleft winds off there to the south and narrows into a gorge just wide enough at the bottom for the little stream which at the end falls down 35 feet in a pretty little cascade of one jet, which Cameron thought like the cascade she had seen in the vallíe de Lys near Baguires de Luchon - ascended a flight of steps up the sand-rock, and the woman let us out of the chine thro' a little door near the top of the cascade and 40 or 50 yards of a dirty public lane led us back to the village close to the Inn - The little bay of Shanklin is pretty but the high dark cliffs are merely sand - one sees at a little distance north the great chalk head forming the south boundary of Sandown bay - walked a little in the village of Shanklin, really pretty and picturesque - breakfast at 9 20/.. milk - Mrs. Williams herself brought me my sand eels - said 'the great Dr. Clark' sent several invalids there - one family there now who could only live the winters at Shanklin or in the south of France - my wonder, the air of Shanklin seeming to me very damp, seemed quite unintelligible to Mrs. Williams who said the air was so healthy and delightful, there was nothing like it in any other part of the island -

Shanklin Chine c1910 [Image Source]

Raining - a hopeless sort of day - off from Shanklin at 10 1/2 fine view of Sandown bay - Sandown merely a very scattered village of a few neat cottages and fisherman's houses - Brading harbour beautiful piece of water at 11 and at 11 10/.. the neat little town of Brading very nice old church - the bell was tolling and the great door in the tower open for a funeral procession walking slowly in the rain - some pretty gentlemens cottages as we approached Ryde, and very pretty ones close to the town - not meaning to stay, passed Jelf's hotel and drove down to the Pier hotel (Hale) 2nd best but large good looking house, close to the pier - a great convenience - where alighted at 12 -

It had been tolerably fair the last 1/2 hour - pretty drive from Shanklin to Ryde - the milk last night and this morning and sand eels probably the great quantity of the former too heavy for me, that I had nodded even as we drove along - but as it still rained so as to make walking out hopeless, threw myself on the sofa the moment of arriving and slept till 2 40/.. - then almost fair - merely damp and a little small rain, but could see the opposite coast - more than we could do on arriving - could not then see to the end of the pier -

Out at 2 3/4 - walked to the end of the pier said to be 3/4 mile long - a very fine one - paid 2d. [pence] for going along it - the steamers come alongside the end of it, and one embarks very conveniently - a government frigate and sloop and a large merchantman off Spithead - Sir Edward Coddrington's fleet expected there - not clear enough to see Gosport or Portsmouth very distinctly - could just distinguish Southport Castle - an intelligent sailor advised me not to see the dock yard blockhouse etc. on a wednesday or Saturday because the men not at work on those days - only now employed 5 days a week - the prisoners, convicts (700 there) every man of whom cost Government considering the expense of the establishment, 4/. a day, did a great deal of the work - but government could get it done by labourers at 2/. a day - the view of Ryde from the pier, beautiful - the water - the town circling round its edge, and creeping up the hill interspersed with trees, singularly pretty - large handsome houses, and pretty gentlemens cottages - Jelf's hotel conspicuous - in passing it, driving down union street, it seemed merely a good looking hotel - viewed from the pier, it is the beginning of a row of handsome houses standing on a nice green terrace, and must have some excellent rooms looking over the lower part of the town on to the water -

Modern day Union Street, Ryde [Image Source]

3/4 hour at the utmost would have landed us at Portsmouth (steam packets at 3, and 5 p.m. and earlier and later) but the weather was not tempting - so determined to return to Cowes - it had begun to rain again pretty smartly at 3 - off at 3 40/.. from which time rain abated in about 1/2 hour - pretty drive - wootton bridge pretty picturesque little place - the water pretty - a mill and some 1/2 dozen houses - the Newport mail (but not red - like a common coach) by Jelf and company waiting there as we passed -

At Newport at 5 10/.. - the lace manufactory at this end, near the town - a good looking large building as much like a gentlemans house as a manufactory - having regretted the finding myself at Newport instead of East Cowes, turned off, right, at 5 10/.. to the latter - very much prettier drive than it would have been from Newport - 13 miles from Ryde to west Cowes by wootton bridge and Newport, 9 to ditto by wootton bridge and East Cowes but turning off at Newport made the distance 2 miles longer or 15 miles - but repaid by the pretty drive and by driving along the park of Norris Castle (where the duchess of Kent and princess Victoria are) and thus getting a rapid peep en passant at the stables etc. like a castle of themselves, and then at the castle house, a squary sort of irregularly towered building that made a better model for Shibden than Lulworth, built of rough stone that would not be expensive - get drawings of this castle or see it again some time or other -

Norris Castle in East Cowes [Image Source]

At the ferry at 5 55/.. - crossed (never got out of the car) just we were in 5 mins. [minutes] (tide coming in - almost low water) and back at our Fountain Inn at 6 10/.. - too little light, or crossing the ferry would have been very pretty - Cowes or Ryde are the only 2 places in the island to live near - and give me a castle not a cottage - tea at 6 40/.. - George came in to say the reform bill was thrown out by the peers by a majority of 41 - the news came from Southampton this evening - Got this mornings Times - Kept my tea things and sat over them skimming over the paper till 8 50/.. then till 10 1/4 wrote all the above of today - Tolerably fair from about 4 1/4 p.m. rain all the rest of the day from about 8 3/4 a.m. with little intermission - Fahrenheit 65 1/2° now at 10 1/4 p.m., and going up to my room -

Reference: SH:7/ML/E/14/0130 - SH:7/ML/E/14/0131

#anne lister #anne lister code breaker #gentleman jack #1831 #southern england tour #isle of wight #cowes #norris castle

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apartmentsjohnscreek72 · 4 years ago

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Free Move Apartment Locating Companies - Know the Truth!

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55+ apartments johns creek

However, in addition there are many companies using the term "free" to lure in customers, and then they may or may not actually give you the service or product that they can initially promised. They manage this deception by writing a lot of loopholes into the fine print of their advertisement that they can always excuse the absence of delivery. So caution is definitely in order if you are trusting service repair shop who plans to provide you with something necessary for free.

Moving is a very stressful time for many. Often you will find deadlines to get through your current apartment with a certain time. You will find circumstances to sort and boxes to pack it, and pack carefully in order to avoid sets from being broken. Plus there is the careful loading as well as the careful unloading and also the unpacking and placing and sorting. You need to allow time to clean that old apartment when you turn in the keys, plus you've got to be sure you are visiting the new apartment during business hours so that you can receive the secrets to your home. You have utilities to disconnect and new utilities for connecting. A good deal is occurring simultaneously, and there always is the concern that you may have forgotten something important. You already arranged your schedule to achieve the day free for moving. You still have your affairs to be able, and now you are only waiting for the mover to reach. The LAST thing that you need is often a glitch over some small detail in details in it that creates your mover to not show up and deliver that "free" move that you were counting on and planning for.

That is certainly what exactly became of an associate of mine very recently. She used some of those apartment locating companies in the Dallas, TX area that supposedly offered a "free" move. I wont mention names here, however it is a favorite company. Anyway, she's home from work and has all her items packed and able to go. It's a Friday evening, and he or she has experienced the move scheduled using the movers for weeks. She gets to get Away from her apartment by midnight THAT night. They're suppose to come at 7:00 pm, so there is a little a time crunch that is the sole time the movers had available. They finally make an appearance, have a look at her small 1 bedroom apartment and let her know "The free move only covers Two hours valuation on free moving. It appears as though you might have more items than we can easily move in 2 hours" (small print), plus they leave!!!! My friend is panicking. Jane is a single lady who lives all by herself and it has to get from her apartment within a few hours. If she resides in a smaller 1 bedroom and had way too many items for them to move, it makes me wonder just who they can move?? Anyway, my good friend calls me at 8:00 desperate and crying. I rally up our other friends and we find a U Haul place that was still open and rent a truck. All of us go over and move her that same evening. She got out of her apartment in time, and she have a free move okay, nonetheless it wasn't from your company who promised her the move. She did everything she was suppose to complete, wrote their name about the Leasing Application because the Locating Company who referred her to the new apartments, and they also GOT PAID FOR THE REFERRAL, yet they didn't deliver the move which they promised.

It turns out that a number of these "free move" companies have fine print that limits how long they're going to offer you to the move. Along with what happens in the event the move transpires with check out that time. Would they just leave? Evidently. Or, when they look over your items and glance at the job normally takes over the allowed time, they will often not even START the move. One more thing to beware of from the fine print....not only may there be limits towards the time they are going to allow, however they often limit like items and also the quantity of items they will move. As an example, when you have a 1 bedroom, they generally possess a specific list of the only real items they'll move. For example: 1 couch, 1 table, one dining room table, 4 dining chairs, a bed, a dresser, a nightstand, 2 lamps, a few boxes (they often is only going to consent to move a small number of boxes) and lots of times that's it!! In case you have a couple bedroom, they could increase the list with the addition of another bed and dresser. But what if you have an item which is not on their own list.....say for example a desk, or even a curio cabinet, or even a piano, or perhaps an aquarium, or a dresser or perhaps an extra table or perhaps a loveseat, or a recliner, or perhaps a number of boxes compared to they allow? Don't let yourself be surprised when they leave all items behind which aren't on his or her restrictive list, and you are just stuck working out what to do with them yourself. If it is enough items, or goods that are sufficient, you may find yourself needing to rent a truck or UHaul anyway, or call friends that can come assist you to.

Another friend recently told me that something similar happened to him that happened to my first friend. He was using one of people apartment locating firms that give you a "free" move. He stated these folks were calling him every day as they was looking for the apartment, trying difficult to convince him to advance into mostly of the places that they had recommended. Each day they called to check if he picked a location yet and if he place their name for the Leasing Using any apartments yet. Finally he did look for a place, and that he did put there name there since the Locator who referred him. Next, an appealing thing happened. He could never get ahold of anyone at the apartment locating company again! If they found out he picked a location and wrote them down (their check was guaranteed), they never called him and then. They wouldn't return his calls and the man couldn't discover a real live human within the company to talk with to be able to schedule his free move. He found themselves needing to hire another moving companies ultimately. The "free" move locating company got paid their and so they never delivered the free move.

How will be the "free move" locating companies distinctive from all the other Apartment Locating Companies? Well, there are many definite differences that you ought to keep in mind. For starters, let's establish the fact most Apartment Locating companies need not give you a "free move" to entice customers. It's been shown the superb customer support and the expertise they have preserves the normal renter $500-$700.....that's much more valuable compared to the cost of a 2 hour move. Plus, they truly assist you in finding the most effective and a lot awesome apartment home. Another clear difference is: Not every the apartment communities on the market works together with the "free move" locating companies. Actually, some of them will not likely. This is due to a variety of reasons.

For one, a few of these "free move" companies don't have the very best reputation. Secondly, many of the apartments don't feel that they actually earned the commission that they are wanting the apartments to pay for them. Some of those free move companies have an internet site where you login and look yourself. They just will highlight info on the small selection of of properties which will work well together and outlay cash. Once you pick a place, you log on again on the website and say to them which one you picked and so the computer is suppose to schedule the move. Not every one of the businesses are the same, however this is the method for a few. An actual human is just not even actively linked to helping you with your search in many cases. Lots of the apartments think that just putting a website alone won't merit earning a commission. Now you may have an online prescence. The truth is, the apartments currently have their own website. To find out no problem which has a Locating Company having a website (the truth is, every one of them do), the issue arises when the locator ONLY communicates through their website and are predominantly a dot.com business.

The apartment complexes don't wish to pay a dot.com for generating a website after which only delivering what you promises area of the time. They want to pay Apartment Locators who've a local office, who've actual live Agents who work there and who deal one-on-one with all the potential renters, assisting these to find their new rental home with customized, individual lists of apartment information. Often times these Locators even escort their customers towards the properties. In the event the client features a unique situation, the Locator can identify them which properties are usually to work their their particular circumstances. They are fully aware that has the top specials available, or who's the actual amenities how the renter needs. The renter can call their Locator and talk with them and get questions and build a working relationship.

What is the disadvantage for YOU, the objective renter, when they are not every one of the apartments will work with the "move free" locating companies? The challenge arises because the "move free" publication rack only planning to recommend to you this apartments which occur to utilize them. Which means that you might not find out about the property who is in truth the the one which matches exactly what you need and contains the most effective special. They will only display information for the properties who covers the cost them. Whenever you start using a traditional Apartment Locator who works with Every one of the properties in the City, you can depend on that you will be getting the whole picture and can honestly be known about all the properties that have the most effective specials. This can be a distinct advantage that real physical Apartment Locators have in the so-called "free move" locators. Most traditional Apartment Locators assist Each of the reputable apartment and townhome communities. No matter for many years which you choose ultimately if you are content, because Them all will probably pay the Locator and work with the Agent. Other product should attempt to steer one to a definite property over another. Their job would be to recommend who may have the best selection and appears to be the top match in your case.

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keywestlou · 4 years ago

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WHAT A FOOD SHORTAGE PORTENDS

Saturday’s blog Let Them Eat Cake discussed food shortages on the horizon for the America of today. What is occurring and what could occur.

On August 18, 2016, I published a blog titled VENEZUELA. The blog spoke in no uncertain terms of the food shortages impacting Venezuela at the time. They still exist.

Everything is cause and effect. It is the “effect” I am concerned with in today’s blog. I want Americans to be aware of what could happen if present food shortages continue and become greater.

Don’t say what happened in Venezuela could never happen here. Did you ever think American border personnel would rip babies from the arms of mothers as was done at our southwest border a couple of years ago?

Anything is possible, especially under a Trump regime.

The Venezuela blog is set forth in its entirety.

VENEZUELA

Venezuela was once one of the world’s richest countries. Its oil reserves the third largest in the world.

By the mid 2000s, everyone was eating. Average consumption 2,790 calories a day. Thanks to Hugo Chavez. Venezuela’s President from 1999 to 2013.

Chavez was a SOCIALIST among socialists. He wanted everything for the people. With the people making minimal contribution to paying for things. The government would pay.

Oil was big. Chavez smarter than the oil companies. He nationalized the oil companies and other foreign industries. With the stroke of a pen. All profits then went to the Venezuelan people.

Chavez’s goal was to expand access to food, housing, health care, and education. He initially succeeded in all areas.

Eventually however, Chavez’s extreme socialism began to falter. A society cannot be the end all to all. Especially when few contribute in any significant degree to their own support.

Oil revenues fell. The high oil profits of 2003-2007 became a thing of the past. It was oil profits that sustained Chavez’s socialistic society.

Food a perfect example. Chavez fed everyone. Till the ceiling caved in.

Chavez had the price of all food stuffs set with a ceiling. The people paid no more. The government picked up the tab for the rest. The rest equating to significantly more than the people could directly pay.

Literally, everyone got fat.

Most of the food was not grown in Venezuela by Venezuelan farmers. It was imported. The oil profits were more than sufficient to pay the cost.

When things started getting bad, Chavez got sick. The two not related. The last four years of his life Chavez was fighting to save his life and Venezuela’s at the same time.

He failed.

Chavez died in 2013 from a massive heart attack and advanced colon cancer. Venezuela had become corrupt. He had opposition. There are those who believe Chavez was murdered.

Nicolas Maduro became President. Inept and incompetent from day one. A puppet of the military. The generals wanted to rule Venezuela. From 2013-2016, they succeeded. Today, the generals run everything. They hold all cabinet posts. They hold Maduro in their hands. He dances to their tune.

The government is corrupt. The generals are eating, economically and food wise. They want for nothing. As does the puppet Maduro. And a handful of high level civilians.

At the same time, the people starve.

The first inkling of a problem came in 2013. Maduro had been President less than a year. Venezuela ran out of toilet paper. Once a person is without, the realization hits home that toilet paper is a necessity of life.

There is still a shortage of toilet paper.

Store shelves had less and less food. Eventually no food. People waiting in lines for hours. When finally in the store, nothing remained for sale.

In 2014, food shortages hit 28 percent. In 2015, 75 percent. Forget the percentages in this year of 2016. Famine has moved in. Maduro has declared a national food crisis.

Food has become precious.

The New York Times described the situation as follows: “Venezuela is convulsing from hunger.”

2016 also became the year that water became in poor supply.

Inflation is expected to exceed 700 percent by November.

There is no work. Factories cannot operate. There is no electricity. Maduro provides electricity 1-2 days a week. Maintenance has been neglected thereby causing the inability to produce electricity.

Families need food. People have been forced to extreme measures.

Last year, garbage was a source of sustenance. However, garbage pails only hold so much food products that last only so long when many are searching. Then a point is reached where there is no garbage. People have nothing or little to eat.

Stealing a neighbor’s food came next. Only so much to steal, however.

This year evidences just how bad things have become.

Home pets, generally dogs and cats, were killed and eaten by families. If a family could not kill such a loved one or could not afford to feed the pet, the pet was dropped off on a highway. There others not fond of the pet would pick it up and take the pet home for dinner.

Pets are no longer in supply.

Next were the zoos. In the last thirty days. First chickens, rabbits and the like were stolen and eaten. Then larger zoo animals.

Very recently, a Caracas zoo was broken into in the middle of the night. A black stallion was one of the zoo’s featured animals. When zoo staff arrived in the morning, all that was left of the horse were its head and ribs.

What next? Hunger goes on at the same time the food supply dwindles even further. Cadavers? I don’t know.

To appreciate Mommy, I’m hungry, consider the following.

Families only eat every second day. Some every third. Only one meal. Children included.

Children are malnourished. They faint in class. Some die. Their bodies nothing but skin and bones. The outline of ribs visible. Hands swollen. Skin stuck to bones. Bellies swollen.

Mothers try to make babies sleep till noon to avoid a breakfast of non-existent milk/food.

Whatever is available to eat is fried. With flour. Empty calories. Unhealthy. Nevertheless, adults and children develop bellies. The battle of the bulge. Not a healthy fat, if there is one.

People eat what they can find. What they find is not healthy.

There is a black market. Except for the generals and a handful of people, the others are poor. They cannot afford black market prices.

Meat. What meat? Most have not eaten meat since last December.

On the rare occasions food is available, the cost for a family of five for bare necessities for a month is $226. The problem is few are working. There is no work.

$226 is a lot of money. Especially in a society where the average monthly salary of one working is $15 a month

Medicines/hospitals are the same. Not enough of anything.

Diseases such as malaria and mange have returned. These diseases were eradicated years ago. Neither inoculations nor medicines exists. People are once again vulnerable.

Dengue fever a problem. The disease was controlled with medication. No medication means dengue is likely to be a death sentence.

There are no medicines to treat HIV/Aids. Many HIV inflicted are moving into the Aids category because necessary medicines are lacking.

Hospitals have neither equipment nor medicines. They are filthy. Cleaning products not available. Nor gloves, saline, antibiotics, painkillers, morphine, and anesthesia.

Operations cannot be performed. Not only because of a lack of what is listed in the preceding paragraph. There is no electric power. Therefore, no air conditioning. The risk of bacterial infection becomes too high to operate.

Cockroaches on every floor and every wall.

There is a sick humor to all this. People are dying. There are no coffins. Cannot be manufactured nor imported. No power, no money.

Chavez hated America. He thought Bush 2 was the devil. Recall his sulfur comment before the United Nations.

Chavez was close friends with Fidel Castro and Raul Castro. As is Maduro.

As Castro blamed the United States for everything for fifty years, Chavez and Maduro blame the United States also. Especially Maduro.

Maduro claims the United States caused Chavez’s cancer colon by secretly infecting him with cancer. He further claims the people are poor and without food because of Americans. Finally, he keeps his people in line by telling them the United States is preparing to invade. Just as Fidel Castro did.

I am not sure why I wrote about Venezuela this week. Is there a message? A lesson to be learned?

It hits home that here has to be a balance between socialism and liberalism. Both are needed in a society. However, Venezuela went to far to the left. Totally.

Beware of crazy leaders? Maduro is on the crazy side. A nut. Weigh your vote heavily in the November election.

What else, I don’t know. I think I wrote this column because it is a tale of sickness and sadness. Everyone should be aware. It could happen anywhere anytime. No nation is immune. Even the United States.

WHAT A FOOD SHORTAGE PORTENDS was originally published on Key West Lou

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meditationsfromthethirdrail · 4 years ago

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Credentials and Credibility

I’ve written about polarization and about empathy, rights and responsibilities in the last couple of blog posts. I have a long list of interrelated topics to cover before the November elections and I plan to keep plowing through them. But I’m well aware that my voice is a candle in the wind, to borrow the phrase used by T.H. White in the title of his tale about King Arthur’s dream of a more egalitarian and peaceful society. The number of readers of my blog thus far may barely run into double digits and that may never change. We are all drowning in information (and misinformation) unless we are either so socioeconomically disadvantaged as to be denied access or are actively disengaged from media. People in either category aren’t reading this.

With all the competition for the attention of readers and listeners, if someone wants to be heard above the din, he or she either has to have a forceful personality and a good platform, or actually have something important to say. I may not have either of those. Readers will judge for themselves. But it occurred to me that I ought to at least provide a little background about myself, which may or may not compel you to hear me. So here it is.

My story is not one of hard knocks and resentment - it’s a success story. There are a lot of ways to define success but I feel like I’ve grabbed a nice assortment of brass rings during my almost-seven decades on the planet. I’ve had a long and happy marriage to an incredible woman; I’ve traveled extensively (six continents and all fifty states) and lived for substantial periods in many states; I have three degrees from a major college; I attained a modestly high position in a large, global professional services firm and was financially well rewarded for my efforts; and I have many hobbies and interests that make it easy for me to stay fully occupied in retirement. Most importantly, I’m happy and at peace with myself and others. One could argue that these successes may have caused me to be out of touch with those who’ve enjoyed fewer of them, but I don’t think that’s entirely true, and I’ll try to suggest why.

My parents were the son and daughter of a sharecropper and a truck farmer/itinerant salesman, respectively, in rural Mississippi. They grew up during the Great Depression. They were married and gave life to my older brother when they were still in their teens. My dad dropped out of high school to sign up for the Army and served in the European theater in WWII. After the war he got a G.E.D. and served as a tractor mechanic for a while. Around the time I was born he was hired by a prominent agricultural implement manufacturing company, which led to him being transferred from Mississippi to Maryland to Ohio to Idaho to Oregon and to Iowa in order to earn promotions, and with family in tow. Later he also transferred to Texas, Missouri and Georgia, after I was left behind to attend college in Iowa. In those days it was possible to rise pretty high in the ranks of a business like my dad’s, without a glittery collegiate resume, if you worked hard and were willing to uproot yourself and your family whenever it was called for. So my dad eventually did rise fairly high in the ranks, and in the meantime my mom scrambled her way to a B.A., then taught high school English for a short time.

All’s well that ends well, as Shakespeare once said. My parents came a long way from the dusty fields where they picked cotton for 50 cents a day. My own road to success was much easier than theirs. During most of my childhood our family was financially situated about in the dead center of what was then considered middle class. My parents were not rich, although they accumulated modest wealth later in life, and they were always frugal, so I grew up with very few toys and a mostly empty closet. My parents were not the type to devote much time attending to my personal pursuits, other than to quietly demand that I get good grades in school. So I wouldn’t say I was born with a silver spoon in my mouth, but I understand that’s a relative thing. I certainly wasn't lavished with material things as a child, but I never went hungry or worried about having a roof over my head.

Aside from a base level of financial and emotional support and protection, the best thing my parents gave me was a solid education in a robust public school system. This was a pre Betty Devos era. Fortunately I had just enough innate ambition (or willingness to succumb to my parents’ expectations) and intelligence to perform in the upper tier, academically. I could have done better but I often didn’t “apply myself,” as they say. In retrospect I realize I had ADHD but few people understood or cared about that back then.

My college record was spotty at first, but ultimately pretty good. I had almost no grasp of what I wanted to do with my life. As a result, I had an abnormally extended adolescence, to roughly age 27. Maybe I was a trendsetter; I see a lot more of that happening with young people today. In any case I considered, at various times and among other things, becoming a Baptist minister (I was licensed and briefly attended seminary), an English professor (I have an M.A. in English and instructed freshman writing courses for three years), a novelist and poet (insufficient talent and discipline derailed that plan), and a hotel manager (nah). A happy accident of my wandering and indecision was that I acquired a lot of knowledge that later paid off in surprising ways I’ll come back to later. I was financially very poor the entire time, which gave me considerable perspective on what it means to be concerned about affording basics such as food and transportation.

I vividly remember the catalysts for my decision to enter the social mainstream. One was the fallout from a poker game I got into with some friends. One of my “friends” was a notoriously unethical character who, one late evening when I was especially unlucky and perhaps too full of beer, lured me into some bad bets that resulted in a $700 debt to him. At that time, when I was working several crummy part-time jobs to afford food and my $50 share of the rent on a slum-quality house we shared with two other guys, $700 dollars seemed like a million dollars. I didn't realize and no one told me that on the very next evening the same group of friends gathered for another poker game as I was licking my wounds and trying to form a plan. I was not present to witness the scene in which the guy whom I was newly indebted to suffered an equally humiliating loss - a loss that was forgiven by the victor on the condition that the loser would also forgive my loss. My friends assumed that Bart (not his real name, or is it?) would inform me that I was off the hook. He did not.

For the first time in my life, I devised a budget in order to determine how I could repay Bart the debt that didn’t actually exist, because that’s the kind of guy I am. I believed, and I still do, that a person is morally and ethically responsible for meeting whatever commitments he or she enters into. So I scrambled for more hours working as a church janitor, a tutor and a library assistant; I ate Kraft macaroni and cheese almost every day (30 cents a box, if I recall); I stayed in my room as if I had contracted the then-undreamt-of coronavirus; and I turned over every penny that didn’t go for rent and minimal food to Bart in three monthly installments until I was finally clear. I was six feet tall but my weight fell to about 140 pounds. On the day I forked over the last $200, Bart skipped town, just as the news finally arrived that I wasn’t supposed to have owed that debt.

That sordid chapter concluded with me taking a job, out of sheer desperation, in a factory where I was paid a below-minimum wage to operate a machine which applied mailing labels to printed advertisements. It was mind-numbing. There were perhaps another 100 workers in that factory doing the same thing I was doing. The output of each worker was measured daily by the factory management. By the end of the first week I was the most productive mailing label attacher in the factory. To keep myself from going insane, I approached my task as if it were a game and challenged myself each shift to beat my previous day’s output, which I always did. During my brief lunch breaks I used to surreptitiously glance around at the other workers and I understood exactly what Thoreau meant when he opined that the mass of men live lives of quiet desperation. I don’t know if he was right about “the mass of men,” but he certainly could have been describing that crew at the factory.

In my second week at the factory I met another newly-hired college guy whose wife and he were trying to save enough money to move to Los Angeles so he could take a shot at professional acting - this was his second job. Chatting with him during lunch breaks, i was inspired by his desire to fulfill a dream and the difficult steps he was taking to do it. I listened to him, I looked around at the hollow-eyed, middle-aged folks who had worked for years operating labeling machines, and I squirmed as I considered what a sap I was for racking up a poker debt and falling victim to a con man. i abruptly abandoned the factory but I felt so discombobulated that I enlisted my good buddy John to drive out to Idaho with me so I could visit my brother and try to get my shit together. By the end of that brief sojourn out west, the best job offer I could manage was from Roto-Rooter . . . to work in the field, as it were. Wake up call!

If you’ve read this far you must be wondering how any of this supports the notion that I’m qualified to write about sociopolitical matters. It doesn’t, except to demonstrate that I have at least a small measure of “street cred.” But the best is yet to come. When I returned to Iowa I found a better job in a hotel. Initially I was a night auditor, which is a position that involves being a desk clerk part of the time and an accountant the rest of the time. Only a small step forward, financially, but it gave me a taste for something I had never previously thought about doing for even one minute. Accounting, I quickly learned, was something I had a natural aptitude for, and in some quirky way I found it interesting. Once again I viewed my duties as a sort of game, but this was a game that lit up my brain much more brightly than did operating a machine to perform an exceptionally repetitive task.

My whole life is a series of lucky breaks at critical junctures. In this instance the break was that I met a co-worker - a guy who shared the hotel night auditor position with me - who had previously worked for a large CPA firm. He had taken the part-time hotel job because he was trying to become a full-time stock trader and that’s what he was doing during the day. From him I learned what it is that CPAs in a big firm actually do. Let me assure you I’m not going to get into that subject, in case you were already feeling the dread. (Thank God for actuaries - the only people who make accountants seem slightly interesting.) Suffice it to say that I figured out how I could minimize the additional schooling I would need to become qualified to be a CPA and I decided to take a stab at it.

I kept the hotel job but started carrying a heavy load of college classes - accounting, math, economics, law, etc. It so happened that I met my future wife, who was just finishing her Interior Design degree at the same college, about the same time I took the first tentative steps down my new career path. That was even more fortuitous - I give her lots of credit for helping me stay the course. The two years in which I went to college in the day, worked at the hotel at night, and struggled to get our new romance off the ground, was “character-building,” to say the least. I can barely remember anything about that period, it was such a blur. To give you an idea of how much of a blur it was, the major highlight I remember was driving with my new spouse to Des Moines to dine at Spaghetti Works. $5 for beer-and-cheese spaghetti, all-you-can-eat salad bar and a glass of swill. Heaven!

When the two hellish years finally ended and I received my B.S. in Accounting, I had already lined up a job in Des Moines as an auditor with one of the Big 8 (at that time) accounting firms. Not long afterward, I passed the CPA exam and my wife landed a spot with a local design firm, and we were on our way.

Ok, at last I’m where I possibly should have started. In the ensuring three decades I continued to work as a CPA, becoming a partner along the way (meaning that I became one of the owners), and developing a specialization working with clients in the financial services industry - investment management companies and banking and finance companies, primarily. This is the good part, folks. My career soon took me from Iowa to New York City, where my background in English earned me the privilege of being a key designer and the principal author of new practice guidance for our international firm, which was just merging with another large international firm. That put me in the spotlight for a time and gave me a leg up for promotion. After the merger we relocated to Los Angeles, where I worked with some of the most prominent investment management companies in the world, and numerous banks, mortgage banks and other financial institutions. Finally we moved to southeast Pennsylvania and I split time engaged with clients there and in California, and with our national financial services practice in New York.

Late, late nights on Wall Street helping to prepare financial offerings with hundreds of millions of dollars on the line. Late, late nights at client offices in L.A., San Francisco, Portland, Seattle, New York and Philadelphia, managing teams of young accountants to deal with complex accounting problems under tremendous pressure. Board meetings, fee negotiations, staff meltdowns, discoveries of fraud and malfeasance, financial crises in which I was an inside observer. A 60-hour work week felt almost like a vacation compared to many weeks with even longer hours. It was enough to give me PTSD. I don’t want to overstate it - it wasn’t like actual life or death combat PTSD - but I still have nightmares ten years and more after the fact.

That’s a very quick summary of the 30+ years in which I obtained hard-won knowledge about global finance and economics - a period in which I also had a lot of experiences with politics, charitable organizations and other components of society I didn’t have time to get into today. I still spend a lot of time staying informed about subjects ranging from psychology and mythology to current events and hard science. There’s a ton I still don’t know. But as my all-time favorite singer Joni Mitchell famously said, I’ve looked at clouds from both sides now.

#politics #sociopolitical #accounting #credentials

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