#i will now be blocking all on sight
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mmmokay i was gonna ignore all of this and not even give it the time of day, but the longer i sit with it the harder it is to sleep. some vile shit is being spread about me in discord servers.
i dont see anyone talking about this publicly so i didnt wanna shine a spotlight on it and give more spread to lies, which is what i assume m*onyinpisces wants. i also have no idea how im meant to post receipts to disprove an event that’s never come close to happening. SO i just wanna say that if youve heard these accusations about how i behave and treat people in my discord server, my discord is public and linked everywhere, and anyone has always been able and welcome to go search my name and read through every message ive ever sent
i’ve also been told that mo*ny calls me her “nemesis”? which is such a small detail that doesn’t matter in the slightest but i feel is a good indication of her mindset and how much credence to give her fantasies— ive NEVER interacted with her. ive never messaged her, directed a post at her, DMd her, subtweeted her, commented on or ever read her fics. i became aware of her when her discord drama went around last year, and i blocked/muted her immediately. so to be a nemesis in her mind reveals a very concerningly one sided fixation, ripe with delusion.
yes m*ony is grossly aphobic. this is why i’ve never tried to read her fics despite so many raving reviews, i knew they wouldn’t be for me. shes also jealous and nasty, as i learned from the screenshots of all that old discord drama. but casually nurturing a life-destroying lie about someone is actually fucking evil imo, and i can no longer retain friendships or even civil contact with anyone who is okay with her and that kind of behaviour.
#i was following friends who liked her and simply added her name to my muted posts list#i will now be blocking all on sight#i fully believe she’s thriving off checking my blog and searching her name and seeing what everyone is getting upset over#so i will continue to live my best life and not think about her at all after this 🥰#honestly i’m gonna open my inbox too. i got nothing to hide from
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Hey, you, the trans man reading this - I love you. I know there's posts like this, but I got down a bad rabbit hole last night and I think there's not enough nice posts towards trans men (:
I don't care if you've finished you transition, on won't be ever able to reach the changes you would like. I don't care if you've been on T for years, or just started, or won't be for some years, or can't or don't want to be. I do not care how you dress. I don't care if you want to be pregnant and have children one day. I don't care if you want hysterectomy and don't even want to freeze your eggs (Hell knows I am not freezing anything). I do not care if you want bottom surgery or if you love what you were born with. Because it doesn't matter and doesn't take away from your identity.
Gay trans men? You aren't just confused straight girls. You are valid in your gender AND sexuality. Straight trans men? You aren't a betrayal the moment you are no longer misgendered. You're still welcome in lgbtqia+ spaces. Because you're a part of our community. One does not lose their place the moment they are perceived and cis or cishet.
Cis men have heard it before, but they won't admit it. All this "if you like x you must be a girl" really just feels like repackaged "if you like x you must be gay". Wanna hear a secret?
HOBBIES, JOBS AND FAVORITE THINGS DO NOT HAVE GENDER.
I like botanical gardens. I love plants. I like looking at clothing, room decor, fabric stores sometimes catch my eye. Because I am am artist, and I take inspiration from these and many more things. Plant care and gardening is not a "red flag" for a trans man in my humble and trans opinion, but it's a sign that you have love to give. And that's beautiful. Just like liking these things does not indicate that a man is gay, it does not mean that your internal identity is any different.
Do not let the world put rails on your patch to your own masculinity. And if you have to hide, that's okay. If you can only be yourself online, that's okay. Trans people will always be here. Trans men will always be here. The best thing you can do is to live as safely as you can. I know this can come off as condescending from a European who has nothing to fear personally, except violence for one month in the year, because my way of being trans isn't "obvious", but I try to take it that my safety means I can try to reassure the rest of you, while you can just focus on your own misery and don't have to be strong for anyone but yourself.
If you need a safe place to went, come to my asks. If you don't want me to post them and just read them, that's ok. You can be angry, you can vent, you can cry, do whatever you need, but, obviously, no transphobia or anything (: Special love goes out to trans men who are of the aroace spectrum, because honestly, the aroace discourse never seems to die, it's just dismissed. Reminds me of something. Hm (: I wonder.
Anyhow. Come to me to cry, for a virtual hug, for a distraction, if you'd like. Feel free to ask for art. Want me to draw your trans characters with flags? I can do that, for free, for you. Ask or dm is enough (: Art and listening is the best I can do, but I'll do my best to do it well.
I love you. You deserve to live, you deserve to be happy, and you also are wholly entitled to cry, to complain, to be sad, angry, loud, afraid. You are a human being with emotions, you deserve to feel them. Nobody can tell you what your internal identity, what your gender is. Because nobody else can know that. Only you can.
So let me repeat: It does not matter how you dress, whether you are on T, whether you want surgeries or love your body as is, whether you are skinny, fat, or muscular, what accessories and clothes you wear, how your voice sounds, how you act, how you carry yourself and what you like. The only thing that matters is how you feel. And while we're at it, yes, you may change your mind, but it still doesn't invalidate your identity in the moment. There was a time where I thought I was biromantic, but I dropped that because I wasn't, and nobody gave me shit for it. Because nobody should. Whatever you feel right now? Valid. Do you identify at a trans man but don't use he/him? Valid. Do you identify with more genders? Are you maybe a man only sometimes? Or are you more at the same time? All of that is valid, if you feel like a man in some aspect or on some part, you are one, if that's a label you want. If your gender makes more sense as a man, then yeah, you are one. Nothing else but how you feel matters.
I love you, and again, I'm here for you if you need that. I can only listen and draw a little something for you, but maybe that's enough for some. If it can help a bit, I can do it for you.
Anyone derailing this post will be blocked. I have no patience for derailers.
#trans men positivity#ftm positivity#trans men#trans guy#trans guy positivity#blocking any discourse on SIGHT#do not derail this is for trans men (:#applies to transmascs if you guys id with this yap but I wanted to make something more specific for trans men#you can always make your own post#transandrophobes have NO PLACE ON MY BLOG. leave. now. do not talk to me. just block me. i do not like you#love you trans men <3#all of you <3#sorry if it's a little disjointed. just a bit of a yap .#transandrophobia is real
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No clue on ur policy on cursing but if you do not like it pls delete this ask and I’m sorry I cursed but the concept was so funny.
Batfam au where Damian accidentally ends in the past (by himself or if any of his siblings join is optional) and needs to quickly stop himself before calling Bruce, Father.
So on a slip up, he accidentally calls him Fuckboy instead, and has to continually use it.
I see this going one of two ways depending on how old Bruce is - if it's teenage angsty Bruce then there will be a fight which will result in Bruce getting his ass kicked bc teenage Bruce was just constantly looking for a fight but couldn't hope to win against Damian - if its Bruce post training/ early batman Bruce then he will recognise that Damian looks a mini talia and realise this kid is his son or maybe a younger sibling of talias either way calling him a fuckboy is definitely deserved
#ask#anon#im tickled that you think id be offended by swearing#its very nice and considerate of you#but does now just make me wonder#if theres people on this website with their swearing preferences in their bio#“like swears are okay but if i see one of you fucking cunts use the lords name in vain your getting blocked on sight”#...wait is god a swear#i was listening to songs in the background on youtube the other day#just letting the algorithm choose the next one#and i noticed one of the songs was like jumping weirdly#so i click onto it#and someone had uploaded a clean version of the song on youtube#which had taken out all the uses of “god” too#which was half the song lol#anyway this was a weird tangent#opps
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My interest that was called cringe back in 2021 getting a sort of revival on a lot of social media platforms is not what I had on my 2024 bingo card but here we are
#and *especially* not with what’s been happening with the ccs#i’ve been laughing so hard at all these posts#i forgot how fun this stupid minecraft server fandom sometimes was#and i guess still is??? good job to y’all.#i might make some art honestly because i don’t really have motivation for anything else#i was a ranboo main so that’ll be who will be arted. probably.#y’all already know i’m cringe so why now#dsmp#dream smp#dsmpblr#mcyt#(if i see any william gold supporters you’re getting blocked on sight btw. i will never tolerate that kinda shit.)
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#oh i genuinely forgot yoohankim is considered a rarepair#or more like . a raretrio#thankfully i live in a vacuum with all my beautiful mutuals who are as strange and unhinged about them as i am <3#wait now that i think about it i probably haven’t gotten stuck in the joongdok trenches bc i block people on sight#for the record that’s not to say i don’t like jd . far from it truly#sometimes people are just wrong#hold on speaking of those two#im gonna continue my world of zero piece bc i just realized ive never actually drawn them together the same way i have w hk and yh#my hsy favoritism…..#solar-talks
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so after using my free blaze for the month, my takeaway is that blazing a post isn't worth it unless your post is really good I guess. you get a few likes for 30 minutes and then nothing and also probably get silently blocked by a lot of people lmao
#ough knowing only 0.5% of people who saw my art even liked it is rough I don't like knowing the numbers#ofc like I said I think a lot of people block on sight when they see the blaze icon#and also it was a long post with a lot of art (annoying)#maybe next month I'll try with a single piece that I particularly like#also non-fanart always does bad notes-wise unless you're REALLY good and appeal to a lot of people#which is why I stopped caring about notes after I stopped drawing fanart as much#bc my art is only decent and my tastes have always been a few degrees off from what people like#but also I'm doing all this justifying but now that I think about it these stats are consistent with what I typically get on deviantart#which is 100-150 views and 0-1 favourites#so maybe I really am only appealing to 0.5% of people
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just came face to face with the paragraph limit
#WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU PPL !!!#WHAT THE FUCK IS A BLOCK!!!#why is this site so determined to make everything worse all the time like i actually think they want to run this place into the ground#before you could get away with posting 50k fix and now I CANT EVEN PUT 30K ???#i already hate splitting up my work#i mean i didn't think i could get away with posting anything that was over 100k words in one post#so i thought oh maybe 3 posts will get the job done#now it's gonna have to be like 6 posts#;_;#genuinely what is the purpose of that restriction?#do they think we are going to implode the sight#site** my anger doth blinded my ability to write with such grace and accuracy#in reality i feel like there can't be THAT many people logging onto here like 'oh let me upload my 50k fic'#or maybe there is#but i feel like there isn't#cuz all the b1tch3s who write that long only post 7 times a year#but maybe i'm the delusional one idk#okay deep calming self soothing breath of inner peace
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Never trust anyone who has "active in discourse" or some variant in their bio like a badge.
#clemramble#sorry i wrote out a big thing about this specific situation on another website but honestly it is never that serious#an honorable mention. also do not trust people who brag about how many people have them blocked. always something up with them#my biggest tip to enhance your online experience is to BLOOOOCK PEOPLE! BLOCK THEM!!! HIDE THEM AWAY FOREVER!! NO MORE!!!#DO NOT BE TEMPTED BY THE EVILS OF BACK AND FORTH NOWHERE ARGUMENTS. MUTE THEM!! GET THEM OUT OF YOUR SIGHT!!!#THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH BLOCKING OR MUTING THINGS. YOU ARE NOT LOSING IF YOU BLOCK SOMEONE.#(imagine im yelling that directly at the viewer so hard that theres wind motion going on)#“if you block i win” YOU ARE A MISERABLE FIEND AND I HOPE YOU FIND JOY IN LIFE WHERE YOU CANNOT NOW#ok thats all. smiles and sparkles gleam and a squeaky noise is played
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I feel like more people need to be more aware or wary of when posts will use women and girl and lady randomly through it but then slap "male" into the post and continue to only use male. Like... how the fuck does that not set off alarms in peoples minds? How does that not read as TERF bullshit? Bioessentialist? Even just exclusionary period???? I genuienly don't understand and seeing so many more posts like that cropping up all over the place is unsettling and extremely worrying.
#okay to rb. clowns will be fucking blocked on sight#im so sick if this shit#im posting this publicly now bc i JUST went past a fucking post with a flow chart that used 'girl' all over it#but then had 'male' only used on it#like yall really cant be fucking serious????? are you fr????? please get ur heads out of your asses in so tired#idk what to tag this tbh
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guy with 0 anxiety problem > IM NOT MAD like im not trying to start discourse . i know people see walls of text and get scared but i just physically can't not ramble. but i'm not trying to like shit on anyone who considers dsmp characters their ocs genuinelyyyy
#alex.rambles.txt#the only thing that Does annoy me is when people just kinda stop agreeing on the c!/cc divide thats like. the very basis for this fandom#also when ex-dsmp fans get all high and mighty over it. now That shit pisses me off so bad#but i havent really seen it recently. probably bc i block people who do it on sight LMAO
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i have nothing to add
#i lied i do have stuff to add#dont let twitter know this was me I would like to live to have a wife#i dont want the dre stans to find me#O_O#anti dreamwastaken#dream neg#dream mention#idk what to tag this fully#risk of rain 2#my brother gave me this idea#all the credit goes to my brother actually (genuine)#i hope this one hits its nishe demographic real well#oakdrawss#saying it now so i dont wake up to it#i will block on sight if anybody starts discourse about that guy in the notes#i do not want to see anyone defending him
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I'm going through ao3 as one does and sometimes it's just like "ah you're new" cause I saw a fic tagged / but literally all the other tags are like "this is platonic".
#cant be too mad tho#i was terrified of using ao3 and didnt start posting till about six months in to making my account cause theres more of a social culture#especially compared to wattpad#baby's first time on ao3 is a lot like what my first freshman marching band rehersal was like#(terrifying because of all the cool older kids (spoiler in hind sight/after experncing them longer most of them were assholes))#(band is better now tho)#what i am gonna be mad at tho is when i saw a fic that sounded great and i opened it and it was a giant ass block of text#bestie pls paragraphs i beg-#and its 4.3k#4312 words in a giant ass block#idk im really sold on the concept so might read it anyways
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I saw a video of a painting of Mary being restored, recently. I'm not, nor have I ever been a religious person, but it got me thinking- Why have I never seen Mother Mary grieve like a mother after the Crucifixion?
I've seen plenty of art of Mary holding Jesus after he'd been taken off the cross. But in those, The Virgin Mary feels so, idk, detached. She looks sad, but she's also accepted it. She is serene in her grief, heavenly and beautiful.
To me, Mother Mary is that. She's a Mother.
She held her baby. Raised him with a husband that loved them. Kissed his wounds and wrapped him in hugs when Christ- he was human, so he had to be a child- had a fall. She taught him about his Father, and the future God had prepared for him.
Did she know? She knew she would be pregnant with God's child, the angel told her she would bear the savior to humanity, but did she know how he would die? Did she know that he would be flogged viciously, his beard pulled out, made to wear a crown of thorns, then forced to carry his execution method over nearly a half a mile? Did her heart not break, hearing her son cry out his dying words, "My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?"
And even if she did know, would that have made it hurt any less?
IDK, I'm no religious scholar, I'm not even christian/catholic/whatever. I'm thinking of the Jesus documented in history, and the people in his life. but even if I was religious, I'd feel sad, maybe even a little angry for Mary. That she's not allowed grief, that in art she's not allowed to be anything other than the beautiful, serene, loving Virgin Mary.
(zoom for better quality, tumblr is a dumpster fire. I'm pretty happy with this, i tried using digital acrylics in Rebelle instead of watercolors like I usually do. added with the canvas texture, it makes for a cool look)
#religion#mother mary#jesus christ#OK just because I'm not religious please dont think this is meant as a personal attack#This is more just. my brain going down depressing rabbitholes#cause I did research for this post and made myself sad.#and honestly made me.... lowkey feel more angry toward religion in a weird way?#at least towards the theoretical god for putting his own son through all that#andfor what? his son's blood to wash away humans sins? gods a washing machine and jesus's blood is the detergent?#You're GOD. you can MAKE a better detergent.#IDK have a lot of thoughts on the matter i guess#LITERALLY DONT @ ME THOUGH RELIGIOUS PEOPLE LOOKING TO CONVERT ME/CHANGE MY MIND WILL BE BLOCKED ON SIGHT#Yall didn't want me before I found out i was a disabled gay leftist and you really dont want me now lmao#the artist has spoken#my art
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seeing people i looked up to for looking like me losing weight one after the other is not doing a lot for my body confidence. obviously to each their own and everyone’s journey is different, but i was embracing myself bc of the incredibly successful and gorgeous examples i had to compare myself to, especially as i have gained weight in the last few years
#body image cw#fatphobia has no place here and i will block on sight.#like it’s just disheartening for me you know?#i’ve gotten pretty good at body neutrality but it helped SO much seeing people w shapes like mine#and now like all of them have shucked the weight and i’m like. oh.#b:personal#text post
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#i think this is just my irritability from my meds#so i’m putting my rant down in the tags#im going to delete this later but i just needed to get this out bc i’ve seen it quite a few times now#but if i see one more fuckin person say something along the lines of ‘stop drawing the iterators/slugcats in this way because it’s boring#or wrong or doesn’t match up with MY HEADCANON’#im gonna fucking lose it. if you want to see slugcats or iterators drawn how YOU like them. why don’t YOU draw them. or YOU pay other#artists you draw them for you?#the fact that some people are so god damn entitled to fanworks that passionate people are making FOR FREE#this isn’t about any of my followers or anything and i block people who say shit like that on sight but for real.#your interpretations of characters and designs are not the end all be all. i interpret sigs shape language as pointy! a lot of the fandom#sees her as square! you know what i DONT do? make posts about how artists should stop drawing him square#you know what i DO do? draw her pointy MYSELF!#i’ll delete this later bc it really doesn’t matter and it’s NOT directed at any of my followers or moots it’s just a general thing ive seen#you do realize that most of what we have to go off of are 10 pixel tall muppets right.#going crazy stupid with designs is FUN! im beginning to think some of y’all take this shit WAY too seriously lmao#anyways.
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the more you know….
#keep finding out people have me blocked on my main but keep reblogging my content on their side blogs#which like is fine but it just proves that everything I said a few posts ago is true 😐 like all this vitriol is about notes and it’s just so#so disappointing to see whole adults engage in that#important to note all these people are in their 30s#I used to be like yeah there’s nothing wrong with people being active in fandom when they’re in their 30s and above but now I’m realising#this is what everyone means by it all being concerning to be active in fandom at ‘grown’ ages. it seems people really do lose sight of whats#actually important. I’m really glad I’m not one of those people#mrow.org
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