#genuinely what is the purpose of that restriction?

[chocosvt]

just came face to face with the paragraph limit

[loveletterworm]

there will be those rare well-articulated posts explaining the glaring flaws/fallacies/misinformation/dangerous rhetoric in like 99% of people’s arguments against ai art and somehow people on here will respond to these posts and somehow still go “Wow, this post makes some good points! We should continue telling anyone who has ever even looked at an ai to kill themselves just because” like do they just pretend they read the posts and assume that they must be agreeing with them and proceed on that incorrect assumption? I’ve really lost my patience for any of this stuff i think a lot of people are just either willfully ignorant and/or wanted an excuse to be incredibly rude to people without getting called out on it (this “person who just clearly is only arguing for the ‘good side’ of any given debate to flimsily justify being an openly extremely cruel person” is really something that i see all the time lately even in other contexts, really just unfortunately seems like a fixture of the internet at this point) or they’re the guys literally lobbying for stricter copyright laws as if anyone except giant corporations would actually get anything “good” out of that. those too.

[sarahreesbrennan]

Are all the themes in “in other lands” supposed to be a commentary on something? Or do you just like writing sex scenes between minors, age gaps, and reverse misogyny?

Genuine question.

Ohhh, my dear anon, I don't believe this is a genuine question.

But it does bring up something I've been meaning to talk about. So I'll take the bait.

Firstly. Yes, my work contains a commentary on the world around us. I wonder what I could be doing with the child soldiers being sexually active in their teens (people hook up right after battles), and the age gap relationship ending in the younger one being too mature for the elder. What could I possibly have been attempting when I said 'how absurd gender roles are, when projected onto people we haven't been accustomed by our own society to see that way'? I wasn't being subtle, that's for sure.

Secondly. Yes I do enjoy writing! I think I should, it's my life's work. Am I titillated by my own writing, no - though I think it's fine to be. The sex scenes of In Other Lands aren't especially titillating, to be honest. It is interesting to me how often people sneer at women for writing romance and sex scenes, having 'book boyfriends,' insinuating women writers fancy their own characters. Women having too much immoral fun! Whereas men clearly write about sex for high literary purposes.

… I have to say from my experience of women and men's writing, I haven't found that to be true.

I’m not in this to have an internet argument. Mostly people use bad faith takes to poke at others from the other side of a screen for kicks. But I do know some truly internalise the attitude that writing certain things is wrong, that anyone who makes mistakes must be shunned as impure, and that is a deeply Victorian and restrictive attitude that guarantees unhappiness.

I've become increasingly troubled by the very binary and extreme ways of thinking I see arising on the internet. They come naturally from people being in echo chambers, becoming hostile to differing opinions, and the age-old conundrum of wanting to be good, fearing you aren't, and making the futile effort to be free of sin. It makes me think of Tennyson, who when travelling through Ireland at the time of the Great Famine, said nobody should talk about the 'Irish distress' to him and insisted the window shades of his carriage be shut as he went from castle to castle. So he wouldn't see the bodies. But that didn't make the bodies cease to be.

In Les Mis, Victor Hugo explores why someone might steal, what that means about them and their circumstances, and who they might be - and explores why someone else is made terribly unhappy, and endangers others, through their own too rigid adherence to judgement and condemnation without pity. The story understands both Jean Valjean the thief and Javert the policeman. Javert’s way of thinking is the one that inevitably leads to tragedy.

Depiction isn't endorsement. Depiction is discussion.

Many of my loved ones have had widely varying relationships to and experience of sex (including 'none'). They've felt all different types of ways about it. If writing about them is not permissible, I close them out. I'd much rather a dialogue be open than closed.

I do understand the urge to write what seems right to others. I've been brain-poisoned that way myself. I used to worry so much about my female characters doing the wrong things, because then they'd be justly hated! Then I noted which of my writer friends had people love their female characters the most - and it was the one who wrote their female characters as screwing up massively, making rash and sometimes wrong decisions. Who wrote them as people. Because that's what people do. That's what feels true to readers.

I want my characters to feel true to readers. I want my characters to react in messy ways to imperfect situations. I love fantasy, I love wild action and I love deep thought, and I want to engage. That's what In Other Lands is about. That's even more what Long Live Evil is about. That sexy lady who sashays in to have sexy sex with the hero - what is her deal? Someone who tricks and lies to others - why are they doing that, how did they get so skilled at it? What makes one person cruelly judgemental, and another ignore all boundaries? What makes Carmen Maria Machado describe ‘fictional queer villains’ as ‘by far the most interesting characters’? What irritates people about women having a great time? What attracts us to power, to fiction, and to transgression?

I don’t know the answers to all those questions, but I know I want to explore them. And I know one more thing.

If the moral thing to do is shut people out and shut people up? Count me among the villains.

[cazshmere]

12th House Synastry and the Blockages Faced in the Relationship (Planet Overlays)

materialist🔖

DISCLAIMER‼️: This explanation is mainly from the perspective of the planet person, but the feelings and experiences described might also resonate with the house person. Both sides may find some relevance in these observations. Please note that this focus is solely on the negative outcomes of these synastry placements. There are undoubtedly beautiful and positive elements that can arise from these connections as well so take these with a grain of salt. These are just my personal observations and are meant for entertainment purposes only; it may not resonate with everyone due to the nuances of astrology. Please respect my work and avoid copying or stealing it. Enjoy reading!!

Sun ☀️ : With this synastry, the Sun person feels that their true personality is restricted or blocked. They don’t understand why or how the house person perceives them in a way that is far from who they actually are. Sensing the house person’s apprehension towards them, they might try “switching personalities” to appeal to or be accepted by the house person, driven by a need to please them. The Sun person feels misunderstood and is unsure why the house person doesn’t see them the way they want to be seen. The sun person could also be some sort of enemy disguised as a friend to the house person.

Moon 🌙 : With this synastry, the Moon person’s true feelings and intentions may seem hidden or concealed for various reasons. The Moon person might feel the need to put up a front to appeal to the house person and gain their acceptance. This can also manifest as the Moon person harboring negative feelings towards the house person but pretending to enjoy their company, reflecting the restriction of their true emotions. This dynamic can lead to a lack of genuine emotional connection and increase misunderstandings. A lot of jealousy also comes into play with this synastry

Mercury 🗣️ : As I'm focusing more on the negative side of this synastry, I have to point out that this is a major red flag placement 💀💀. Communication, which is crucial in any relationship, is significantly blocked here. The Mercury person might withhold their thoughts and intentions due to fear of how the house person will react. This could also involve the Mercury person bad-mouthing the house person or even snitching on them, while putting up a front and pretending to be all buddy-buddy with them. With communication being a barrier, this can also manifest as a language barrier or misunderstandings between the two, leading to further communication problems.

Venus 🩵 : Ahh, the planet of love being in the 12th house 😭—very iffy. With this placement, love is literally blocked in this synastry due to unfortunate circumstances. This could mean that the Venus person doesn't know how to be lovey-dovey with the house person and ends up being rude, though in a more playful way, as Venus tends to be gentler. The Venus person might feel that the house person won’t accept their love and as a result starts “teasing” or “playfully bullying” them as a subtler way of expressing themselves. Since the Venus person can’t externally express their love, they turn these feelings inward, leading to the creation of fake scenarios. In these scenarios, they are genuinely expressing their love for the house person, and what plays out in these fake scenarios is what they actually want to portray in real life but are somehow unable to. The venus person also feels that the house person might not understand the way they love and that’s why they end up not expressing themselves openly and that’s where unrequited feelings and love occurs. You will never know unless you try right?

Mars ❤️‍🔥 : Lmao, this one is the most interesting! As we know, Mars is the planet of initiation and motivation. When Mars falls in the 12th house, it blocks any chance for progression - be it physically, mentally or emotionally. Mars is a very instinctual planet, and being placed in the 12th house can lead to confusion about their true instincts. The Mars person might doubt themselves and try to pull back to avoid overstepping any “boundaries”but the mars person often takes the idea of "overstepping boundaries" a bit too literally and ends up not making any move at all. Contact is blocked. This has to be one of the worst synastries because if contact itself is blocked, how can a relationship even be formed? It blocks all the areas such as the development of love, feelings, communication, etc.

Jupiter 🧿 : This placement is comparatively easygoing, but as we focus on the hindrances in this synastry, it can present some challenges. Jupiter represents expansion and abundance, but when it falls into the 12th house, it amplifies themes related to spirituality, mysticism, spirituality, etc. While one of Jupiter’s natural traits is the art of bringing joy and luck into wherever it lands, this can manifest as the Jupiter person bringing immense joy and luck to the house person. However, the Jupiter person might come across as excessively optimistic, which the house person may find confusing or overwhelming. This difference in outlook can leave the Jupiter person feeling let down because the house person doesn’t share their perspective or beliefs. As a result, the Jupiter person might hold back their optimism and viewpoints to better ‘connect’ with the house person on a higher level.

Saturn 🪐 : With this synastry, discipline and structure are blocked. The Saturn person may feel off balance and unstable when they’re with the house person. The house person might have a very fluid and mutable way of living, which is probably something the Saturn person struggles with or entirely opposes. However, with 12th house synastry, there is often a need for pleasing and acceptance from both parties. As a result, the Saturn person might bend their own rules and try to go with the house person's “flow,” but they won’t feel comfortable doing so because it creates a sense of imbalance in their life.

Neptune 🧜🏼‍♀️ : This placement is quite tricky and can be confusing. Neptune, the planet of dreams and illusions, falls in the 12th house, which can block a clear sense of reality. The Neptune person might find their ability to perceive the house person’s true nature clouded, leading to misunderstandings or unrealistic expectations. The house person may feel like their true self is hidden or misunderstood, and the Neptune person could struggle with setting clear boundaries or distinguishing between fantasy and reality. This can create a foggy dynamic where both parties have a hard time grasping the other’s true intentions and feelings.

Pluto ⚡️: This placement can be intense and transformative, but it also comes with its hurdles. Pluto is all about transformation and power, and in the 12th house, it blocks the ability to fully experience or enact personal change. The Pluto person may find it difficult to navigate deep transformations within the relationship, leading to feelings of being stuck or unable to evolve. This can manifest as unresolved issues or hidden power struggles. The house person might struggle to understand or support the Pluto person's need for transformation, leading to a dynamic where growth feels obstructed and hidden tensions simmer beneath the surface.

Uranus 🛸 : This placement brings a unique set of challenges. Uranus represents uniqueness and innovation, but when it falls in the 12th house, it blocks the ability to fully express or embrace individuality. The Uranus person might feel stifled or unable to showcase their unique qualities in the relationship, leading to feelings of frustration or alienation. They might struggle with feeling accepted for who they truly are, and their innovative ideas or unconventional traits could be suppressed. This can cause the Uranus person to feel disconnected from the house person, who may not fully appreciate or understand their uniqueness.

banner/pic credit : @/crisscreen and @/only-ranpo

© cazshmere 2024 [All Rights Reserved]

[motherismotheringggg]

I just read completely unraveled and it was SO GOOD. I love the dominant yet gentle nick!! Could you write a part 2 about the aftercare that followed? Thank You!!!!🎀🎀

the weight of warmth ☁️

completely unraveled sequel

summary: see the request above — another sickening anon request 🙂‍↕️

type: pleasure dom! nicholas x sub! female reader

tags/warnings: 18+, established relationship, cockwarming, showering together, clit stimulation

author’s note: this was fun to work on, i feel like it kinda dragged a little but i hope yall like it!!!

tag list: @blackynsupremacy , @hoffmansgirl , @essentialwriter , @lalavenderficrecs , @nicholaschavezslut69 , @titsout4nicholas

☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️

The air in the room was thick with the lingering heat of everything that had just happened. The soft buzz of the city muffled through the window. The low lights of the city streaked across the bed in long, hazy ribbons. Your body still trembled, your muscles lax and spent, every nerve in your body still singing in the aftershocks of your orgasm.

Nicholas didn’t move right away. His weight on top of you felt, not restrictive, but comforting and grounding you. Keeping you safe in a way words could never could. His head, nestled in the crook of your neck, and for a moment, you both stayed like that, your hands drifting slowly up and down his back, tracing the ridges of his spine with featherlight touches.

You thought for a moment he fell asleep, his body seemed so content and hummed of being utterly spent. “You okay, baby?” he asked softly, his voice husky and raw. His lips moved against your collarbone as he spoke, his words vibrating through you.

You nodded, still catching your breath. “Mhm, I just need a second,” you murmured your voice barely more than a whisper, a hint of laughter in your voice.

He shifted, slowly propping himself up on his elbows, gazing down at you with those warm, chocolate eyes. His brows furrowed slightly with concern as he searched your face, his hand coming up to push a strand of damp hair away from your forehead. “Too much?” he asked, his eyes scanning you for any sign of discomfort.

It was almost endearing, the way Nicholas cared so deeply about your safety and well-being whenever you were together like this. No matter how many times you’d told him you were fine, he’d still ask, still check, his worry so genuine it made your heart ache in the best way. Sometimes, he didn’t even catch when you were joking, his focus so intent on making sure you felt good. It’s what made moments like this feel so much more than just physical—it was care, it was love.

“No,” you said quickly to reassure him, reaching up to cup his face, your thumb brushing over the chisle of his cheekbone. “It’s perfect, Nick. Thank you.”

His face softened at that, his lips curving into a small, tender smile. He leaned down and pressed a soft kiss to your forehead, letting it linger for a moment longer than usual. Then, with slow, deliberate care, he pulled out of you, his breath catching at the loss of contact. You winced slightly at the sensation, but he’s already moving, already tending to you.

“I’ll be back,” he whispered, pressing a kiss to your temple before slipping off the bed. You watched him as he walked to the bathroom, his broad back glistening with sweat, his muscles shifting with every step. He disappeared for a moment, and you heard the sound of running water.

When he returned, he made his way to the closet, his movements unhurried but purposeful. He pulled out a pair of black Nike briefs for himself, his fingers brushing over the fabric as if making sure it’s just right. Then, with the same level of care, he grabbed one of his oversized t-shirts for you—one of the ones you’d claimed long ago but he’d never asked for back.

“Let’s get you cleaned up, yeah?” he said softly, reaching out his hand for you to grab. His voice gentle and coaxing, as if speaking too loudly might shatter the moment. You nodded, letting him pull you up with a gentlessness and ease only he could master.

He couldn’t help himself. Before he could lead you to the shower, he kissed you—deep and slow. His hands slid down your sides, fingers pressing into the soft curves of your hips as he pulled you closer. Flesh to flesh, your skin stuck to his, the shared heat of your bodies mingling with the damp sheen of sweat still clinging to you both. The kiss deepened, hungry but not rushed, a slow, consuming pull that left you breathless.

His grip on you was firm but never harsh, a steady claim of presence and control. It’s what you craved most—to feel his certainty, the unwavering way he guided you into surrender. You’d let him take you apart as many times as he wanted, just to feel this closeness, this absolute devotion. Every tilt of his head, every brush of his tongue against yours felt like a vow.

You were addicted to being controlled by Nicholas, to the way he knew your body so completely it felt like he’d mapped it out in his mind. The way he read every shift of your breath, every shiver, every gasp—like a conductor leading an orchestra of your pleasure. He’d never failed to pull every ounce of it from you, and it’s why you’d follow him anywhere.

But Nicholas? Nicholas was addicted to you. To the way your skin felt under his hands, the way your breath hitched when he touched a spot he’d memorized long ago. Your smell, your taste—the intoxicating combination of you lingered on his tongue long after you’d gone still. It’s the way you called out his name at the peak of your orgasm, his name sharp and desperate on your lips, like only he could bring you to that place. Because he could. And he knew it.

His lips parted from yours slowly, leaving your lips wet and swollen from the intensity of it all. His eyes stayed locked on yours, his gaze heavy with desire and pride. One of his hands slid up to cup your chin, his thumb resting just beneath your bottom lip, tilting your face up so you’d look at him.

“I could have you again if I wanted,” he said, his voice low and deliberate, a slow drawl of confidence and possession. His eyes roamed over your face, taking in the way your lips parted in anticipation. “You’d like that, huh?”

You nodded, a shy but eager nod, biting your bottom lip as your eyes flickered to his mouth. You’d let him have you a thousand times if he asked. You’d gladly let him unravel you until the sun peeked through the blinds, until your legs gave out beneath you.

He watched you for a moment longer, his gaze filled with unspoken promises. Then, slowly, he pressed a kiss to your forehead, soft and grounding, as if sealing the moment into permanence. “Patience, though,” he murmured, his breath warm against your skin. “Let’s save it.”

————

Nicholas slid back the glass door to the shower, steam fogging up every surface in the bathroom. He stuck his hand out to test the water, knowing you liked it hot—scorching as he often joked. Satisfied, he turned back to you, extending a hand with a soft, knowing smile.

“Come on, baby,” he said gently, his voice a low, soothing hum. You slipped your hand into his, letting him guide you into the warmth of the shower. The water poured down in steady streams, washing away the stickiness from your skin. You sighed as the heat seeped into your muscles, easing the tension you hadn’t realized was still there.

Nicholas stepped in, in front of you, the water cascading down his broad shoulders and chest, trailing along the hard planes of his body. He stood there for a moment, letting it soak him fully before his eyes met yours. His gaze was soft but grounding—serious in a way that made you feel seen, cherished.

“Turn around for me,” he murmured, his hands already on your waist, guiding you gently. You obeyed, the warmth of the water flowing down your back as he reached for the body wash. The familiar click of the bottle’s cap echoed through the space. He lathered up his hands, his touch firm but gentle as he smoothed the suds over your shoulders, down your back, and along the curve of your spine.

His hands moved with care, slow and deliberate. Each stroke of his palms felt like a silent reminder of his devotion. The soft slip of the lather against your skin sent shivers down your spine, but his hands were steady, grounding you in his presence. He worked his way down to your lower back, his thumbs pressing in small circles that made you sigh in contentment.

“Turn back around,” he said softly, and you did, facing him once more. He reached for the showerhead, angling it toward you. The warm spray cascaded over you, rinsing away the soap in smooth rivulets. You glanced up at him, watching the way the water streamed down his face, over his sharp jawline, and along the broad expanse of his chest. The sight made something flutter low in your stomach.

“Your turn,” he said, a small grin tugging at his lips as he handed you the body wash.

You squeezed some of the body wash into your hands, rubbing them together until a rich lather formed. Your palms pressed against his chest, the suds building in thick, frothy swirls that made every curve of muscle stand out beneath your fingers. His eyes stayed on you, half-lidded but watchful, his lips parting slightly as he exhaled a soft breath.

Your hands worked slowly, savoring the feel of him under your fingertips. You followed the curve of his pecs, the firm ridges of his abs, every inch of him slick and soapy. You couldn't help yourself. As you rinsed him off, you leaned forward, pressing soft kisses along his chest and shoulders. Your lips trailed over his skin, gentle and unhurried, the warmth of him mingling with the heat of the shower.

Nicholas’s hands found your waist again, steady and grounding. He turned you around slowly, his lips brushing against your temple as he whispered, “Let me get your back.” He reached for the body wash again, working it into a lather before smoothing it down your spine, his fingers firm but soothing. The sensation made you sigh, leaning into him, letting him hold you up.

When he finished rinsing you off, he pulled you in close, chest to back, his arms wrapping around you. His lips found your shoulder, soft kisses peppered along your skin. The only sound was the steady patter of water hitting the floor, mingled with the soft, wet smacks of his lips against you. Every now and then, a quiet moan escaped you, barely loud enough to be heard over the shower, but he heard it. He always did.

His hands felt so large on your frame, they wrapped around your hips again. But instead of staying on your hips, he let one hand travel across your thig until he found your womanhood. You ached for him, the second he touched your throbbing bud, you let out a breathy moan. He held you up again, knowing you’d be weak.

You moaned on and on, crying out Nicholas’ name as your body thrashed in his arms. Your threw your head back into his chest, still whimpering out.

“I know baby, I know,” Nichola cooed to you, “Let it out”.

You obeyed, the pressure in your body built to it’s peak. Nicholas was so incredibly skilled at getting you there, he just understood it. Where to rub, how fast to go, what to say, where to kiss. It’s like he was in your life solely to unlock these parts of you.

As you came down from your unraveling, Nicholas held you, continuing to kiss on your back but he could also feel your knees getting weak. “Oh my poor girl,” Nicholas turned off the water with one hand still holding you up with the other.

He was his concern creeping in again, he rushed to get you in a towel and out of the bathroom so you can go sit on the bed. You sat on th edge of the bed, wrapped in a plush black towel. Nicholas stood in front of you, “I’ll be back,” his demeaner was still calm but you knew was buzzing with a hint of worry inside for you, you were always his priority.

You just finished getting dressed when he returned to the bedroom with his hands full of different things; random serums and moisterizers for your skincare, an ice roller for your face because he knew you liked the sensation switch after a hot shower, your pink freshly filled hyrdroflask, a Frost Blue Artic Gatorade and a few random snacks.

You couldnt help but let out a small laugh, the contrast of this man who a few hours ago had cumming so hard you almost cried and now he was this frantic overprotective boyfriend who couldn’t stand the thought of you not be cared for.

He chuckled back, “What? I wanted to make sure you didnt have to get up for anything else”, he said setting everything down on the bedside table on your side.

His face was near your’s as he dipped down to arrange the items and you stopped him to give him a kiss. It was quick but it had weight to it, you were so appreciative of him. When he settled into his side of the bed, you both sat with your backs on the headboard. He pulled your legs onto his and rubbed yout thighs while the TV droned on the background. You sipped your water from cup and he grabbed your other hand placed soft kisses on it.

It was quiet again, things were light and soft. You love him and he loves you.

[lgbtlunaverse]

I've been wrestling with two beliefs I hold simultaneously but that I previously (incorrectly) thought were contradictory: that sexuality is inherently harmless, but also that specific kinds of sexual desire have been used to enact and justify grievous harm. The notion that men's sexuality is more important than women's consent, that white men's sexual access to white women must be protected from the "threat" of men of color, the idea that this specific kind of desire is so inherent to a proper society that if you have the wrong kind of sexuality you deserve to be shunned and harmed.

How can sexuality both be inherently harmless and measurably harmful?

Anyway, the answer is very easy, and part of why I feel like we should stop treating sex as something completely unlike other things and horniness as unlike all other emotions. Because I realized that, oh, right, this happens to other feelings too.

You know another feeling that is not inherently dangerous but is frequently used to enact and justify violence? Fear.

Fear is not inherently evil. Not even if it's irrational and your level of fear does not correspond to the level of danger you're actually in. In fact, irrational fears are such a common phenomenon we literally have a word for them: phobias. Which you are not evil for having. (Am I calling phobias the fear equivalnet of kinks? Kind of... I guess)

But fear and discomfort are used all the time to harm people. Let's say some random white woman is walking home late at night, and she notices a man is following her. This man might just be walking in the same direction by coincidence, but there's a small chance he's following her on purpose. It is quite natural for the mind to wander, and we frequently fear what we do not know. Discomfort or fear, in this situation, is neither inherently harmful nor unusual. However, if this white woman has been inundated her whole life with 'stranger danger' narratives and stories of women being brutally kidnapped, assaulted, and murdered by strangers. (Even though the vast majority of female victims are killed by someone they know, most often a romantic partner or family member) and she then, by the flash of a streetlight, spots that the man following her is black, and she has also been fed a narrative that black men are inherently violent and dangerous, that feeling of discomfort is enhanced and distorted until she believes she is in genuine danger and calls the police.

Statistically speaking, that guy really was just walking in the same direction, and is unlikely to be a threat. However she has now seriously endangered him, and justified it by the fact that she was scared.

A man justifying sexual assault because he couldn't help it, he was just so attracted to her. (And she led him on! She was barely dressed!) Is weaponizing his horniness in exactly the same way as people who call the authoroties on a disabled homeless person because they were "acting weird" are weaponizing their fear.

And all emotions can be weaponized this way. Anger is used to justify domestic violence ("you shouldn't have provoked me") Happiness and fun is used to jeoparidize safety (the last 30 years of olympic games have had a death toll among construction workers of over 116. The 2022 world cup alone has an officially admitted death count of 40, but the real cost is likely in the hundreds) disgust is used so often it's hard to restrict it to a single example (queerphobia, ableism, fatphobia, racism, misogyny, it's everywhere)

Sexual desire is just one way among many where the comfort of the powerful is valued above the safety of the opressed. It's not unique, but instead painfully common. And it's useful to keep this in mind not to devalue it or deny it's happening, but because we can borrow tactics and learn from similar situations rather than getting stuck on endless debates on whether porn is intrinsically evil or not, which will get us nowhere.

[demodraws0606]

Jax's fear of being trapped and what that might imply about his past/future

Hello 2 days ago i've developped a chronic case of Brainrotting about Jax, tragic I know.

I'm kinda basing this slightly of what Gooseworx have said in QnAs though I will not rely on it because I think purely relying on a creator's words and not the media isn't really satisfying.

The main thing that stood out to me in this episode with Jax was that he seems to fear punishement.

He seems really freaked out when Gangle proposed the idea of Cain punishing him...

And then he immediatly goes to Zooble to be like "lol you don't believe Cain actually could punish us right ?" and while he's proven right at the end of the episode, the fact that he immediatly tries to seek reassurance that he wouldn't get punished says a lot. In fact in his expressions he looks both sides while saying it almost like he seems...unsure/anxious (idk the right word).

Also when he's brought into the employee training scene. He's weirdly...afraid and shaken by it ?? (not showing the screenshot cos everyone remembers that scene).

Which like, I understand that was terrifying but it was a strangely strong reaction to something that...light ? I mean he wasn't brainwashed or anything. I might be stretching it but all of it, including the scene's purpose makes me wonder if it brought Jax bad memories of...something.

After that scene happens, he completely acts normal and stops trying to be a dick completely.

Now this isn't a convo about weither that's Jax's true self and his jerk self is a persona. People are trying way too hard to either try to make him a one dimensional asshole or secretly a good guy which like he's neither he's a bastard with layers. But that's not what this is about so ANYWAYS.

All of this made me wonder what was Jax's main Thing, more so his theme or the thing that makes him tick.

We know with Gangle it's her issue with masking (her dreams, how she feels, etc...), Ragatha being a people pleaser, Zooble's body dysmorphia, King's memories and how they link with the loss of his wife and Pomni's desire for companionship.

For Jax we actually don't really know other than...he's a dick and he's using it to cope which like....duh ?

But with this episode and also a little thing that I got from researching QnAs (because i'm normal and chill like that) made me realise what could Jax's Thing.

A Fear of Consequences and being Trapped

Now the main thing that drove this thought was me finding out Gooseworx assigning a song to Jax which is this one.

Don't fence me in, huh....

That line meaning a desire to not be restricted and not losing their freedom.

This makes me think this is probably what Jax's character is at least partially about, or more so...his biggest fear. Being restricted, reprimended or trapped.

I think in part that fear could be related to his past, which I'm gonna throw my cards here, my own personal theory is that he was stuck in juvenile detention for misbehaving as a kid. That experience traumatising him enough that he was probably similar to the Jax we've seen at the end of episode 4, just Tired.

Now does it Necessarely have to be a juvenile detention center, honestly no ? But it's the thing that makes the most sense in my head.

Either way this also explains a lot of things about his behavior in the circus.

He's now secluded in a space with absolutely 0 Consequences, the one person who can dish it out is an AI who is probably programmed to never harm humans (directly at least). He's even proven right at the end of episode 4.

I think what led to Jax's shit behavior was this realisation that this is pretty much now his Safe Heaven. In real life he can't just be who he wants to be, there's potential consequences that he's afraid of.

Now I know I'm gonna hear like "oh so you just think Jax is an asshole by nature", I don't think he is (i don't think he's ever been a nice person his life but like there's a difference here), I genuinely think he's not more so being himself rather that it's just that he's overcompensating for the lack of freedom that he's felt his entire life.

In a way it's similar to how people act on the internet.

Imagine that you were a misbehaving kid and you were reprimended HARSHLY for it, to the point where you're not really fixed per say but you're stuck being terrified of even being slightly flawed.

But now here he is, in a place where death doesn't matter, the harm he does doesn't matter and the one person who can actually hurt him just gives him weird shenanigans that give him opportunities to lash out.

However, there's a tiny little problem...

This fantasy cannot last forever forever and I'm not talking about them getting out because as far as they know it's out of the cards for them.

It's very much clear that the circus with the arrival of Pomni is becoming more tight knit and less divided, creating a more solid friendship group with the help of Pomni being an actual normal nice human person (Zooble is nice too but they're more jaded and too depressed to deal with most of everything, and Ragatha is a whole baggage).

It's becoming increasingly clear in the episodes themselves as well that, Jax can't just be an asshole anymore. Every episode since episode 1 has led to him being reprimended or him not being given what he wants. The group is becoming closer and they're sick of his bullshit.

He also probably doesn't like being alone and hated. We see him seeming sad at the talk of Kofmo's funeral before having to go back to being angry and dismissive in his facial expression.

Maybe he really did want to go to Kofmo's funeral but like would anyone actually believe he would be genuine, after being an asshole for so long would it really be worth for Jax to just break it all right there.

But it's clear he's also not really enjoying being alone.

Jax in a way is basically burrying a hole for himself. Being an asshole was his perfect dream after probably living a life of boredom and repression but now that this consequenceless existence has finally revealed itself to just be a mirage, he's now unable to access the things he really needs.

Actual friendship.

It's clear that the Digital Circus has a point of companionship being extremely important, in fact when we get mentions of Kofmo's abstracting we get also mentions about how no one really founds his jokes funny. Kinger mentioning how making someone feel alone and unwanted is the worst thing you could do to someone. Gangle is saved by Pomni and Zooble's presence.

However there's no one at fault for Jax's isolation, he only has himself to blame.

Ive got more but i'm tired so hope you guys enjoyed it.

[redwinewhiteroses]

What are your future spouse's qualities? 🧡💛🧡👰🤵👼

Masterlist

Purple butterfly

First of all I'm seeing your fs is a social butterfly. Very very outgoing, radiant and lively. They might feel really content with themselves so they reflect this warm peaceful celebratory joy into the world. They might nurture and foster connections with people from a very genuine place in their hearts often times celebrating people and their loved ones.

Your fs might be a very strong and resilient person. They will put up a good fight to defend their loved ones. They might also be protective of you and your children and will defend you like a warrior. Your fs will face challenges head on and will be really courageous. They will always stand up for what they believe in.

Your fs might be highly skilled and a master manifestor. They get what they want and they possess the power to create what they want. They might be charismatic and will really stand out in a crowd. They might be skilled at multiple different things, could be a jack of all trades and will most definitely be good at all those things.

They are very well put together and will have a commanding presence. They must be super confident about themselves. They might value  and respect people and will demand to be treated the same way. Your fs could be a CEO or an entrepreneur.

Your fs might be very intellectual. They have a strong sense of self and not easily swayed by things. They might not be emotional as much, definitely more inclined to logical thinking. They might really value honest and clear communication. Honesty could be a priority to them. They might have a zest for life. A hardworker, creative and analytical could be some of their most prominent qualities. Your fs could be well accomplished in life and could be quite independent on their own. Could uphold positions of power and definitely commands a lot of respect from others.

Random messages : Enchanting, Ask and you will have it, I'm sorry, Wit and humor/Gemini/Sagittarius, Forest retreat, Soul's desire, Mystic, It's always you, Hope for something more, Going with the flow, Try again, Forgive and forget

Vibes they give off : Harvey Specter from Suits

Blue butterfly

Your fs could be a bit of a loner. They would fight for what they want even if they are the last one standing. Might have a win at all costs attitude. On the downside they will be quite cold and people could resent them sometimes. They might be a bit aggressive and get involved in conflicts easily. They could possess a sharp intellect and see things through. They might make enemies or get on the bad side of people. They could be a bit manipulative and will try to have the last word on anything and everything. Could be a fighter and a tough cookie. They could go by the motto 'Never back down, Never give up' .

Your fs is very introspective and will be on a constant journey of self discovery. They might seek a deeper meaning in life. They might be disatisfied with the circumstances of their life and will try to reinvent themselves and will desire to find more authentic experiences in life. They might not be driven by material rewards but rather value experiences and constant evolution beyond the material realm.

Your fs could be a bit restless and impatient. They might be facing delays and obstacles in creating their desired reality. They could face a few setbacks in life which will create a sense of disappointment in themselves.

Your fs might struggle to give and receive care and affection to some degree. They have this inner turmoil which restricts their nurturing side. They might be dealing with mental health struggles or stress might be a major theme in their life. They might be a bit possessive and act from a place of low self esteem. They could struggle with issues related to self worth and lack of purpose.

This might just be a major theme in their life during a significant time frame in their life. Nothing is set in stone. This is the current energies of your fs. This is not a final verdict. Remember life goes on constantly, redefining things and situations day by day. So have hope that things will get better eventually.

Random messages : Light hair, Yes, Sail the seas, I want to control/Mars/Aries/Charge, Love, Damsel in distress, Wait for me, Ill will, Love is light

Vibes they give off : Professor Snape from HP

Green butterfly

Your fs might have a difficulty of letting go of things that no longer serve them. They could hold on to the past and resist change. They might display feelings of nostalgia, regret and fear the uncertain. They could hold onto things for their emotional significance and memories. They could reminisce about their childhood often and may have an emotional attachment to their past due to some reason. Your fs can be someone who thinks they were born in the wrong generation. They might love vintage stuff and lifestyles from a different era. They could feel a bit out of place in the dynamics of the present world. They might have an interest in history, archaeology or philosophy. For some of you, your fs could be a librarian, anthropologist or a historian. They could be a bit restless and indecisive. They could be prone to overthinking and running in circles.

They could possess strong traditional values and beliefs. They could be a mentor, a teacher, professor, a guide or a coach. They can have some outdated beliefs as well. They could hold onto long-held traditions and practices to the point they will resist evolving. They could be a bit impractical and stubborn. They could be a conservative person, maybe religious, wise and emotionally stable. They might be well respected among people and seen as a dependable figure. They could even be a religious leader. They can be significantly older than you or very mature beyond their age. They have a love for traditions. They consider courting, marriage and commitment very seriously. They value stability, practicality and has a strong moral compass and will hold people accountable. They value morals, good intentions and values. They might have an ethnic background or might have some special cultural practices. They could be from generational wealth, true old money. They really do have some unique structure in their life kinda like old, refined, antique and of deep value. They might drive a vintage car. For some your fs could even be living in a mansion or has an estate.

Your fs might be recovering from a heartbreak, a past sorrow or pain. Maybe they lost someone who was quite influential in his life like a grandparent, a teacher or a parent figure. Maybe that's the reason of your fs looking back into the past. They have newfound strength and overcoming emotional pain. Your fs's emotional journey is marked by a gradual release of sorrow and an embrace of healing and growth. They could be a counselor, therapist or even a writer. People might be inspired by your fs's journey of overcoming pain and past hurts. Your fs could be inspiring people to be stronger by sharing their story or personal experiences. They may be guiding others to overcome emotional conflicts.

Your fs might have a zest for life. They can be incredibly passionate about life. They can be lively and active. They're passionate, optimistic and might take risks and have a thrill for life. They possess leadership qualities and a strong desire for actions. They are assertive and takes initiative. They might lead your relationship and I'm seeing wise leadership. They'll believe in traditional gender roles and will provide emotional security and material stability in the relationship. Your fs respects you and loves you in a gentle but passionate way.

Random messages : Cute romance, Sweet kiss, No way, Running with the wolves, Sour cream, Say something, You are on the right path, Aphrodite, I'm wondering why, Harmonious, Diabolical, Fruitfulness

Vibes they give off :

Thomas Shelby from Peaky Blinders

Edward Cullen from Twilight

Red butterfly

Your fs might be a really strong individual. Definitely good looking and charismatic. Will most likely have a commanding presence. We got two kings here and the magician. Your fs will defend their loved ones like a warrior. They will face challenges head on and won't fear fighting for what they truly believe in.

Your fs might be a bit closed off at first. They can have their guard up. They might also not see their truest potential. I think they underestimate themselves constantly and might feel trapped by their own mental chains. They tend to feed their own mental limitations. But I think they are capable of more, they just don't see that for themselves.

Your fs might motivate people around them. They will encourage you with words of affirmation all the time. They definitely have a strong sense of self assurance and will be in control. They can be tall and charismatic and extremely good looking. Might have a great sex appeal. They are very driven (might have high libido) courageous and passionate. They have a warm hearted nature. For some of you guys, your fs can be a CEO, entrepreneur, self-accomplished businessman, creative director or an authoritative figure.

Your fs might be fiercely competitive. They like to test their own limits. Might enjoy dangerous hobbies and martial arts. They might enjoy physical fights or activities that require strength and endurance. They might be really good in bed if you know what I mean. They can go for a few rounds at a time without getting tired. Extremely passionate and strong. They can be quite passionate in arguments as well so it's better to solve problems without delay. They might like competing with others and they thrive in competitive environments. Your fs will be in the spotlight and they stand out in any crowd. They could a sportsperson for some you guys.

Your fs is highly skilled in many things. They are really creative. Might be good with their hands. They will be a very well put together person. Will have a good sense of style and a knack for aesthetics.

Your fs can be mature and have a zest for life. They are passionate about living life you know. They might enjoy hiking, vacations and experiencing new things. Your fs is really really wealthy and abundant. They might be successful or even famous. They have a lot of achievements under their belt. They are incredibly protective of their loved ones and have a strong sense of responsibility towards them. They are secure in themselves and people can easily rely on them. They might build a lasting legacy with you. They could be working in finance or real estate.

You guys could have a lavish wedding and you also might live in a beautiful home. Your marriage will be stable and quite passionate.

Random messages : Christmas time, Haphazard, Miraculous, Count to three, Eat up, Love and care, Why do you avoid me?, What do you want?, It's easier when you sleep

Vibes they give off : Christian Grey from Fifty Shades

Nick from My fault

Thanks for joining me!

[sunflowerzyk]

Royal Guard Simon Riley x Princess Reader

Part2. Part3.

SFW Part1.

Simon has a simple task, to keep the King's youngest daughter safe. A simple task for his finest knight.

That's what it was supposed to be, having to deal with a spoiled little girl 24/7.

But when I met you ..... You were spoiled, of course you were, but you were noble at heart, you genuinely wanted a quiet life for everyone, playing the role of queen, doing your late Andre's chores like organizing festivals and parties, inaugurating events on behalf of your father.

You were... A good person. He thought.

The society, the cruelty had not broken you as many... Like him, an old man who served all his life to your father's kingdom, with no other purpose but the adrenaline of war.

With a couple of bushes with sweet fruits that you picked every so often with him by your side. Standing guard. You called him. As if everyone didn't know about your little orchard that stained your dress with dirt as well as your hands when you knelt down to pick the fruit.

"Look what a mess you are". Simon complained in a low, calm voice, there was no real reprimand, but his tone was still harsh. Not used to talking to anyone other than his soldiers.

He moved his gloved hand to remove strands of hair that clung to your sweat-covered forehead.

In time he grew accustomed to your company, and discovered that despite being spoiled you had quite a few restrictions, no youthful lovers, you were terrified of talking to people in formal gatherings and loved having a small orchard hidden in your garden which he soon discovered.

"Just a little bit of dirt". You stood with a tired snort, holding a small basket of blueberries and other things with one hand and with the other gently pulling his hand away to wipe away the sweat.

You only caused the dirt to mix with the sweat making a worse mess.

"stop that, Princess, come on, you must have a bath."

Simon couldn't help but smile behind his helmet, seeing you, a princess whimsical about food and fine fabrics with pastel colors.... Dirty.... It generated ideas in him that he pushed away immediately.

He grabbed your wrist and dragged you inside the palace. He forgot when he started touching you willingly.

You just nodded, humming happily with your basket of berries, walking beside your guard dog that you had grown very fond of. Pushing your own limits of formality.

Thinking that next time you would behave more brat for he to hold you like that again.

[wisecura]

Sheets

megumi fushiguro x fem-reader

p.1

p.2  ( ⸝⸝꩜ ᯅ ꩜⸝⸝;) p.3

p.2

AN: Thank you for reading part 2! Again each of these will be around 3k in length. Enjoy!

warnings: i'm putting these here for future chapters too, and ill sprinkle some in as I go. I want to make it clear, there is no underage sex, but later on there will be some more raunchy shit. this is somewhat non-canon compliant-make it up as I go

-ok for the real warnings: yandere, obsessive behavior, possessiveness, mommy kinks, mommy issues, arranged marriages, forced marriages, angst, eventual smut, clan politics, age gap (5 years from meg, and a little over 10 with toji), toji aint the best dad, mentions of child abuse, slowww build.

Short summary: Your arranged marriage to Toji Fushiguro had been sudden and unexpected, but now you found yourself living under his roof alongside his moody stepson. Your only directive from your clan head before moving in was clear: keep a close eye on Toji, the notorious Sorcerer Killer, and his son, a potential sorcerer prodigy.

Another

Cleaning had always been second nature to you, a skill drilled into you by your clan as a symbol of discipline and propriety.

The ways of a proper young lady.

Back then, it had been another way to meet their rigid standards, but now, in Toji’s apartment, it served a different purpose.

You weren’t trying to meet anyone’s expectations. It felt more like you were creating a space that felt livable, even comforting. As you scrubbed and tidied, remnants of your clan’s demands linger in your mind.

Megumi stayed holed up in his room, avoiding you, though you suspected it wasn’t out of rudeness.

Maybe he was still figuring you out, testing the waters before deciding how to interact. You couldn't blame him. This was all new and strange for both of you.

As you scrubbed the counters and sorted through laundry, you tried to keep yourself busy, hoping to quiet the restless hum of your thoughts. The spiraling.

But the silence of the apartment only amplified them, leaving you with little to do but reflect.

You thought long and hard about your next move—about what you wanted and what you were willing to do. You hadn’t expected to make it this far, away from the suffocating grip of your clan, away from the rules they’d meticulously instilled into you. This already felt like a step up. 

No one was yelling. No one was crying. And most importantly, no one was punishing you for merely existing.

And for once, you could breathe. 

But could you settle here? Could you turn this into a real home? The thought carried a weight you hadn’t anticipated, especially when you considered who you were married to.

Toji Fushiguro.

The infamous thirty-something gambler whose reputation preceded him. His name carried weight—none of it good. You’d only heard whispers about him before, rumors about the "Sorcerer Killer" who couldn’t see curses, but had carved a place for himself in a world that didn’t want him. The name he was making for himself wasn’t the kind anyone would aspire to have.

And now, he was your husband. 

Could he truly be better than what you’d left behind?

Marriage had never been a simple thing for people like you. It was, more often than not, a transaction, a tool for power and alliances, never a partnership.

You'd settled your peace with that. But you couldn’t be sure what kind of man Toji would turn out to be. So far, he was unpredictable—evasive, blunt, and not exactly brimming with warmth.

When you first met Toji, you’d been terrified.

His deep voice, gruff and laced with irritation, felt like a warning in itself. And he hadnt been happy when you first saw him. His towering, muscular frame only added to the daunting image.

Many clan marriages ended in misery. Beaten wives, suffocating rules, and vows that served only to bind and restrict.

The unknown had loomed large that day.

You’d been genuinely shocked when Toji had even shown up to the meeting. After all, he already had a history—a wife before you, a notorious rebellious streak, and a reputation soaked in blood.

What had happened to her?

The question lingered in your mind, twisting your thoughts into a frantic swirl as you tried to piece together what kind of man he was and what exactly you might be walking into.

Not that you had much of a choice.

To your relief, he left shortly after bringing you home, without forcing himself on you or issuing a set of house rules. But even without his demands, you already knew your place.

How could you not?

The weight of the clan’s expectations had been drilled into you for as long as you could remember.

Still, the questions remained.

Could you trust him? Could he truly protect you from the very people who had pushed you into this marriage? Or would he become like the others you’d seen—the cruel, controlling men who treated their wives as tools?

If things got sticky, you could run. But the thought terrified you. Your clan wasn’t known for letting their investments go so easily. They had their motives, their expectations for you, and you knew better than to think they’d let you walk away unscathed.

The marriage was a means to an end, and the moment you stopped being useful, they wouldn’t hesitate to dissolve it. Drag you back, kicking and screaming.

The questions would start soon if you didn’t make an appearance at the estate for a ‘visit.’ You’d have to come up with something to keep them satisfied, a way to buy yourself more time.

But would it be enough? You weren’t about to stoop to spying, but maybe if you offered them the bare minimum, it could hold them off. Still, you knew the risk.

Back to the suffocating walls of their estate. Back to the life you’d fought so hard to escape. Back to another arranged marriage—this time, likely to someone far worse.

Someone who wouldn’t tolerate even a shred of independence.

You had no illusions about what they were capable of. They’d find you. They’d make an example of you. The consequences were always swift, brutal, and served as a warning to others.

The only thing keeping you from that fate was this house.

Toji.

For all his flaws, for all the uncertainty that surrounded him, Toji was the barrier between you and the life you so desperately wanted to escape.

The clan couldn’t touch you here—not while you were under his roof. His name and infamous reputation were enough to keep them at bay for now.

But why had he even agreed to this marriage? It didn’t serve him. If anything, it seemed like another chain, another tie he’d likely resent. What had convinced him to take on a responsibility that did him no favors?

The thought nagged at you as you clung to the fragile sense of safety he unknowingly provided.

For now, you had to play the game carefully. Toji was unpredictable, but at least he wasn’t actively cruel. You’d take your chances with him over returning to the hell you’d left behind.

And yet, still, he hadn’t returned. When would he come home?  Sure it'd only been a day, but...

When lunchtime rolled around, you prepared food for both yourself and Megumi. Doubling the portions, you were glad he was starting to warm up to you, even if only slightly. Knocking softly on his door, you waited for a moment before it creaked open.

Megumi stood there, his expression unreadable as usual, but he took the plate with a small nod.

“Thanks,” he muttered before retreating back into his room, the door closing firmly behind him.

So, you ate alone.

It wasn’t the solitude that stung the most—it was the familiarity of it.

Sitting at the quiet table, your thoughts drifted to the countless meals you’d eaten alone back at the clan house.

You’d thought leaving that life behind would make things different, that here, in this little apartment, you could find something resembling peace.

But for now, the silence was deafening.

You reminded yourself to remember that this was better and you needed to be patient.

At least you knew Megumi wasn’t cruel or rude—just guarded. He was still so young, still figuring out his place in all of this.

So, you cleared your plate, brushed off the dull ache settling in your chest, and told yourself that this was temporary.

It was just a matter of time.

Later in the day, you decided to step out for groceries. The apartment was practically empty, the fridge holding little more than condiments and a few questionable leftovers.

You couldn’t fathom how Toji and Megumi had been surviving off such meager scraps. You’d noticed the state of things your first day there, picking up a few essentials just to scrape by. But today, you decided it was time to stock up properly.

Standing by the front door, you hesitated for a moment, glancing toward Megumi’s room. A small part of you debated whether to ask him to come along. It might have been nice to have the company, and perhaps the outing could help you two get closer. But you quickly pushed the thought aside.

This wasn’t his responsibility. It was yours. You were the one trying to build a home here, the one who had stepped into this role. So you would need to do it.

With a quiet sigh, you grabbed your shopping list and headed out the door. It wasn’t a long walk to the nearby market, but as you made your way down the street.

By the time you returned, your arms were weighed down with bags. Maybe you’d gotten carried away, but everything seemed so necessary. Stumbling through the front door, you dumped the bags onto the counter with a relieved sigh.

Megumi peeked out from the doorway, alerted by the sound. “You’re back?”

“Yeah,” you said, turning slightly to smile at him, still catching your breath. “Got some food for tonight.”

He frowned, his gaze shifting to the hefty bags on the counter.

“Didja walk all this back yourself?”

“Mhmm,” you replied with a small hum, stretching your back before reaching to start putting things away.

Before you could even grab the first item, Megumi stepped into the kitchen, his sharp eyes narrowing slightly as he gently nudged you aside.

“Go rest. I’ll put it ‘way,” he muttered without any real bite.

You blinked at him, caught off guard by the unexpected offer, but decided not to argue. Instead, you took a seat at the kitchen table, watching him move around the room.

His movements were deliberate and efficient as he pulled items from the bags. He inspected each one carefully, as though weighing its importance, before putting it into its proper place.

For a moment, you forgot the weight of everything else and simply watched.

Megumi, for all his prickliness, had his own way of showing appreciation—even if he didn’t say it out loud. It was hard not to notice how much care he put into something so simple.

He still reminded you of a grumpy old cat—aloof, guarded, but with moments of surprising thoughtfulness.

A small laugh escaping you as the thought crossed your mind.

Megumi glanced over his shoulder, his sharp eyes narrowing in suspicion. “What’s so funny?” he asked, his tone flat, though the faint red at the tips of his ears betrayed some building irritation.

“Nothing,” a small, teasing smile playing on your lips. “Just thinking about how teenagers can be so stubborn sometimes.”

“Stubborn?” he parroted, his tone disbelieving. “I’m not stubborn. You’re acting like I’m some little kid or something.”

The amused smile tugging at your lips only grew as you tilted your head at him. “Well, aren’t you? Just a little bit, maybe?”

And his scowl deepened, the flush on his cheeks darkening. The faint hint of embarrassment making him look unbearably adorable.

“I’m not a kid. I’m almost fourteen,” he muttered, his voice firm, though it teetered dangerously close to a pout.

Your laugh now unrestrained, unable to resist teasing him just a bit more. It seemed so easy for him to ruffle up. “Fourteen, huh? Practically a grown-up. My bad.”

Megumi’s gaze darted away briefly before snapping back to you, his tone quieter but still holding a note of defiance. “You’re not that much older than me. You’re what? Sixteen?”

You shook your head, unable to hide your amusement. “Sixteen? Try eighteen, Megumi. I’m officially an adult, thank you very much.”

His eyes narrow, as if processing the information. “Eighteen?” he muttered under his breath, his skepticism clear. “You don’t look eighteen.”

Feigning offense, you straightened your posture. “Well, I am,” you said with mock indignation. “And as the adult here, I think I get to call you a kid.”

Megumi huffed, crossing his arms. “You don’t act like an adult. You’re more like a bossy older sister.”

That made you grin even wider. Was that supposed to be an insult? “Bossy older sister, huh? I think I’ll take that as a compliment.”

He avoided your gaze, pretending to focus on folding one of the empty grocery bags.

“Take it however you want,” he muttered, his tone clipped, though the slight twitch at the corner of his mouth gave him away.

“Well, thanks, I guess,” you said playfully. “But I’m still older than you, and that makes you the kid, like it or not.”

Megumi frowned but didn’t argue further. Instead, he busied himself with the counter, his lips pressed into a firm line.

“But I’m not a kid,”

You raised your hands in mock surrender, your tone kind and teasing.

“Alright, alright. You’re not a kid. You’re a very mature almost-fourteen-year-old. Better?”

Turning his attention back to the counter, he muttered, “Whatever,”

You leaned back in your chair, watching him with a mix of fondness and curiosity.

Megumi had a way talking. A way of instilling fondness into the back of you mind. You already really liked the kid.

The way he tried to act older than he was—it was all so very… Megumi-esque. And you hadn't even known him for long. Not even a day. He had such predictably, you felt like you already knew him.

But kids with that much prickliness tend to have more going on.

“You know,” you said gently, breaking the silence, “you don’t have to rush to grow up so fast. Fourteen—or almost fourteen—is a good age to just…be.”

Megumi glanced at you, a blank look on his face. As if he wasn’t even considering what you were saying. “I’m not rushing anything. I just don’t want to be treated like some helpless kid.”

Now that got your attention.

You tilted your head, your smile softening. “I don’t think you’re helpless, Megumi. Not at all…I just think it’s okay to let people care about you sometimes. It doesn’t make you helpless.”

He didn’t reply, his gaze flickering back to the counter, but you could see the wheels turning in his head. 

Then he lingered. The groceries were already put away, yet he didn’t leave. He didn’t know why he stayed. Maybe he didn’t want to admit it.

But his actions spoke louder than words ever could: maybe, just maybe, he didn’t mind you being there. Doesn’t mind being around you. Psycho-ex of his dad’s or otherwise.

While making dinner, Megumi hovered close to your elbows. His dark eyes trailing your every movement with a quiet intensity that didn’t suit the task at hand.

He didn’t say a word, but his focus was unshakable, soaking in every detail. Your cooking so far had been phenomenal. Enough to make the kid jealous.

He wanted to learn, that much was clear—wanted to memorize the steps, the measurements, the little techniques you used. You had a sneaking suspicion it wasn’t just curiosity. 

His silence didn’t bother you. If anything, it gave you the perfect opportunity to chatter away, filling the room with a one-sided conversation that you hoped wasn’t entirely unwelcome.

You explained every step meticulously, breaking it down like a cooking show. Megumi didn’t interrupt or huff at you. Instead, he absorbed it all like a sponge, his head tilting slightly when you mentioned something new.

“Toji must not be much of a cook,” you remarked at one point, glancing at him with a teasing smile. His lips twitched upward for the briefest moment, a ghost of a smile that made your chest tighten with warmth.

Even when you explained the most basic things, like how to dice an onion properly, Megumi listened as though it were the most important lecture of his life.

It made sense—Megumi was still young, and cooking had always been considered a woman’s role in traditional clan life. And considering Toji’s seemingly chaotic lifestyle, and the lack of any obvious maternal figure, it was no wonder this felt new to him. Still, the conversation flowed a little easier that evening.

You hadn’t had many interactions with the other children back at the clan estate—everything there had been too rigid, too suffocating for anything resembling a healthy relationship.

It was surprise you were even social adept to talk with him now. You felt like you were finally getting to experience a somewhat normal family life.

And even in those moments, there was still a frigid layer of distance he maintain between you two—a protective barrier he refused to let you pass.

Distrusting, yes, but not beyond reach.

He was still trying to figure you out, sizing you up, before deciding whether you were even worth the effort of trusting.

Why the hell was this kid so frosty? Was it Toji? The absence of a mother? Or something else entirely? You weren’t sure, but the guarded way Megumi carried himself—the abrasiveness, the defensive huffiness—stirred something in you.

There had been plenty of kids like him back in the clan house. Some were cold and indifferent, their walls impenetrable.

Others carried arrogance like armor, wielding it to hide their insecurities.

But the ones who stayed with you—the ones who truly stuck in your memory—were those too weak to defend themselves, cast aside for showing too much emotion.

Beaten into shape.

Megumi wasn’t like that, obviously. But the thought of him enduring anything similar made you feel...protective. Kids don’t get that icy from a normal childhood, after all.

When you finally sat down to eat, the food, obviously, turned out fantastic.

Megumi, ever stoic, simply nodded in approval as he ate, but you caught the way his chopsticks moved a little faster than usual, and you couldn’t help but feel a small tinge of pride.

“Not bad, right?” you teased lightly, hoping to draw a reaction from him.

His eyes flicked up to meet yours for a fleeting second before he mumbled,

“It’s good.”

Another almost-smile.

It was your second day in and this kid would be the death of you.

p.3?

AN: Thank you for reading! Please reblog and like if you enjoy this series!

I will also be posting updates here:

https://www.tumblr.com/communities/obsessedjjk

come home

[astrologylunadream]

Who is in love with you +why?🧸🍑🌸♡ (Pick a card/Tarot love reading)

Hellooo it's Lunadream💌 I will show you right now who is currently in love with you and what made them so! hope you find your message🌸💫

Notice: Only take what resonates because the most important thing is your own judgement!♡ If anything doesn't resonate, don't worry! It's not your message right now <3 (Entertainment purpose only. All rights reserved)

Now, shall we begin~? ^w^ Think of the your person, and pick whichever pile that fits the energy you're feeling~🍂💗

Pile 1🌸

Pile 2🍮

Pile 3🤍

Pile 4🎃

Take your time and choose carefully with the heart~♡

On to the readings —> 💕

Pile 1🌸

Sign energy: School, Heir, Sloth, Sleep, Care-taker, Sun, Venus, 12th house, 6th house, Taurus, 🛩🌹🖤🐭

🧸Your energy: Hellooo my pile 1's are very cute >w< The dreamy type, loves to take cat naps. May have venus in 12th house or taurus in 6th. I'm seeing a youthful appearance for this pile, you take good care of yourself and often engage in skin-care routines, healthy diet, ect. Make yourself very beautiful naturally💗 You have a feminine aura about you, very soft and angelic. You are very quiet at times and may seem half-asleep due to your peaceful nature. You have such calming vibes, very pleasant and beautiful. I feel like this pile have many suitors or perhaps secret admirers you aren't aware of!! I'm getting royalty from another country/land vibes~ may be a descendant of royalty or simply lots of money, the kind rich girl/boy in your social setting.🛍 Some of you are/were very popular in school. Genuine sunshine vibes <3 You just have such a sweet shining appearance, and your personality is like a little flower so graceful and delicate.🌻 Taurus, Libra, Leo, Pisces, Virgo are signs for my pile 1. You could have venus in Pisces or Taurus/Libra. You may be into the color black or feel drawn to people who wear black, like the dark to your light aesthetic kind of thing~☯💗 You love romance and dream of it often, love daydreaming and drifting off to sleep as you imagine the perfect love story. Cinderella vibes♡ Some could be year of the rat or have a pet mouse/rat.

🍑Who is in love with you: Scratch, Accident, Privacy, Rose colored lenses, 8th house, Cancer, Saturn, Taurus, Capricorn, 5th house, 🤗📌🏖⁉️ Alright my pile 1's this is someone you may know already!! Such secret admirer/hidden crush vibes rn💞 This person has a lot of scorpio/plutonian energy, very intense. Cancer, Capricorn, Taurus and Leo placements, they definitely have Scorpio somewhere in their inner planets. Their aura is magnetic and mysterious and almost dangerous in a sense. They are very private and keep to themselves, they avoid huge crowds and parties, they prefer to be alone.👤 They like being in the comfort of their own home, doing their hobbies and things they enjoy all by themselves. This person likes feeling safe, in a quiet environment, and doing whatever they want. I'm getting that they like going to the beach at night lol. They may have injuries or scars, might have glasses due to eye sight issues and this could be contact lenses aswell. They have restricted themselves from romance for a long time, they just spend time alone because they don't trust or believe in having a relationship with someone, they are hesitant to give it a try. So they just stick to themselves and do most activities alone.☹💔 They tell themselves that they don't need anyone, loner mentality. They may have had past experiences believing in love and seeing everything through rose-colored lenses and it ended terribly for them and it stabbed them in the back, leaving them with trust issues and resentment for having any sort of bond with another person. :( I'm seeing a slow warming up to my pile 1 as they finally start to fall into love again when they look at you, it's like their world is being shown in color, reminds me of the wizard of oz...😩😫💌💞 and they're like "tf is this?!?! What am I feeling rn?? Is this love?!!!"⁉️💗

🧁Why they love you: Trust, My love, Mouth, Drama, Name, Water, Capricorn, Cancer, Eros, Earth, 🆕️🟪👎📸 Okaaay I'm sensing a situation right now, you guys definitely stepped into this person's life and they were like 😳🤯🎆 It just hit them, and like this person has a lot of drama around them. So much crap they deal with and you just came in and I feel like you stuck up for this person lmao I feel like pile 1 just finally stood up for this person and just 🤚 to all those who were stirring up drama for this person💀 I feel like you were there for them when they needed it, and when everyone didn't even care about this person and you stepped in and said the truth, you said what needed to he said and your person LOVES you for that just know my pile 1 like omg they find it so attractive and just so empowering.😍😫✊ They felt like they finally found someone genuine, someone they could trust. And it made them so emotional too they felt like they could open up finally, like a new beginning for them.♡ They feel so safe with you by their side, and omg your name is a huge turn on for them btw they love your name and love saying it (and other ways too...😳) They love how compassionate you are to them and everyone who needs it💗 You ground them, and they feel so secure with you. The biggest reason they love you is because of how safe you make them feel and how much they trust you because they trust you a lot my pile 1's and this person does NOT trust easily I'll tell you that.😩 They love how you care so much for others, they know you have a big heart and this attracts them to you even more!!

💌Messages from your person: Tell me your secrets, You don't owe me anything, I wanna marry you, You keep doing this, I know your secret (What is the secret pile 1??? They're so serious about you!!🥺💍💖) Extra cards: Unheard, Mystery, Attraction, Pain, Hobby, North node, Leo, Venus, Gemini, 7th house (Literally they see a future in love/partnership with you the cards speak for themselves you guys!!)

Thank you my pile 1's! If you feel this resonated, you may tap the heart to claim this message!💫🌸

I hope you enjoyed your reading! ʚ(｡˃ ᵕ ˂ )ɞ If you did be sure to let me know pile 1 with the blossom emoji~🌸 Thanks for scrolling through, Hugs hugs hugs!! See you in the next reading💗🌸💗🌸🎀

Pile 2🍮

Sign energy: Chest, Purple, Emotions, Passion, Stage, 3rd house, Eros, Mars, Virgo, Moon, 🔮📵🎤🛸

🧸Your energy: Heyyy we have a pretty person in this pile!! Your energy is radiating I'm getting lots of Virgo, possibly Gemini, also Aries/Scorpio and Cancer for you guys. Okay so let's see I'm getting really spiritual and uplifting vibes from my pile 2's, you are so emotional and that's what makes you so beautiful🥺💖 Singing/performing may be your passion, or you may really have a thing for music. I'm seeing lots of devotion to music like I'm hearing it's your life omg, You have a lot on your mind, and you think and feel a LOT too. You are at a point in your life where you are very self critical and strive for the best, you are willing to do anything for what you love, including love itself. My pile 2 is very protective over their heart and you guys are not letting it get broken, you have an amazing talent for speaking for your feelings. Your playlists say more about you than you ever could😂😭 You love comforting voices/asmr. I feel like you have really soothing voice aswell <3 You have a lot you stress about when it comes to relationships, my pile 2 should just have more trust in themselves, trust the process take it slow and be open to recieving love because you guys deserve it and it anyone can be loved it's pile 2.🥰⭐ You have a passionate mind and spirit and you put a lot of energy into everything you do, if I could give your brain a hug I would lol it sounds so funny🤣🤣 but seriously, take care of yourself and your mind because you tend to overthink and over feel a lot🥺👌💓

🍑Who is in love with you: Yandere, Winter, Chase, Love letter, Height, Capricorn, Vertex, 6th house, Mars, Uranus,🤙😒🐈🍓 Wow... just wow this is quite the person in love with my pile 2's... where do I even start-😫🤯 Okay you guys this person is really into you I mean REALLY into you... the vibe is just almost suffocating with this person's feelings towards you. Yandere is coming through so yeah they've got extreme ride or die feelings for you guys. Virgo, Capricorn, Aries/Scorpio and Aquarius could be in this person's chart. They could be above average height or have a strange height. They are most likely taller than you, they often tower over you or stand next to you in a way that asserts dominance so to speak. This person is someone you see often, they could be a co-worker/classmate or such. They could be born in winter so Capricorn and Aquarius are likely signs for them, also you may have met this person during winter. They are head over heels for my pile 2's and definitely very into them romantically, they are very masculine by nature and act that way toward you. They express their love in a more assertive/forward manner to you. I'm getting kabedons, grabbing your wrists and chasing you down lmao this person is so into you for real. They may send you love letters often or even daily. They are super committed to you and a little clingy too, huge simp vibes🤭💌

🧁Why they love you: Intuition, Toy, Careless, Flirt, Honest, Taurus, Fire, Air, Venus, Pluto, 🐚🤲🏖🌪 They love you because of how genuine, honest and true you are to yourself and others. They are actually obsessed with this aspect of you and the way you are truly yourself. They really went with their gut and just fell into loving you my pile 2's lol this person can actually be pretty quick to fall in love I'm getting. They don't think things through and just let their feelings take over🤭 They love your feminine energy and passionate nature. Honestly this person can't get enough of you😍😭 They are in love with how you show your emotions and how strong and sensible you are with them (even if you don't think so <3). This person may have started to fall for you after being flirted with/flirting with you. For some of you there may have been a very subtle flirting but they took it so so so serious and now they're like, obsessed with you🙃 Lol they love how you speak and your voice made them fall in their seat lmaooo they love how comforting and sweet you are. And that little spark within you that always keeps you going, they really love that about you.❤ They might have realized how cool you are and just brush things off not letting it effect you all that deeply. I'm getting for the most part this person just really enjoys the chase with you and is in love with obsessing over you guys🤣 Watch out cuz just because someone loves you doesn't mean they're "the one" (be careful pile 2 I'm getting some really unhealthy obsession vibes from this person with you and this could even be someone who finds you easy to manipulate/control so always trust your own judgement!!) They got really into your giving energy/soft aura and now they're hooked.

💌Messages from your person: Stop thinking about me, Stop ignoring me, I can't hide it from you, Am I perfect for you? You can't hide your feelings for me (They are definitely thinking about you rn) Extra cards: Society, Amusement park, Luck, Words, Favor, 6th house, Pisces, Chiron, Gemini, Sun

Thank you my pile 2's! If you feel this resonated, you may tap the heart to claim this message!💫🌸

I hope you enjoyed your reading! ʚ(｡˃ ᵕ ˂ )ɞ If you did be sure to let me know pile 2 with the flan emoji~🍮 Thanks for scrolling through, Hugs hugs hugs!! See you in the next reading💗🌸💗🌸🎀

Pile 3🤍

Sign energy: December, Feelings, Seduction, Feet, Caution, Taurus, Neptune, Water, Venus, Moon, 🌇🔚📿🧍‍♀️

🧸Your energy: Feminine aura is prominent in this pile, I'm getting alluring siren beauty vibes🔱🖤 Such powerful seductive qualities and you guys are so attractive😫💋 May have Taurus in 12th house so Aries rising is likely. May have venus in water sign (Cancer/Scorpio/Pisces) or Venus conjunct moon placement. Some of you could love winter or winter clothing, could be born in winter specifically december. You are very charming and beautiful, ahh I am loving the vibe of this pile🥰 You are very cautious of love, it both intrigues you and scares you at the same time. You may worry about sharing your emotions so closely with another person, or wearing your heart on your sleeve. You have a heavy heart and a very fragile one, you know this so you keep it safe and guarded at all times. You don't open up from fear of being vulnerable which has led to you seeming cold or apathetic, but you do feel emotions quite strongly actually. You have a soft imagination and you wish to be beautiful (spoiler: you already are😇). You feel as if love purposely trips you making you fall harder than you would have liked. You may live in the city or love watching sunsets, you love when the sun sets and the moon rises. Jewelry looks great on you, pearls and onyx probably looks godly on you🥺🖤 Some of you are a bit of a loner type, waiting for someone to step in and say "hey why are you alone? You look too gorgeous to be all by yourself"😫😩😭💞 Omg I hope that's the person who loves my pile 3 lmaoooo

🍑Who is in love with you: Affection, High standards, Blame, Hug, Socialization, 3rd house, Lilith, 12th house, Sagittarius, Fire, ☀️🤐🤵☄ OMG I'm sensing a hot couple with you two JUST SAYING😭🥵 Omg we haven't even started yet I need to calm down!!! They got that look about them omg... they're really popular and liked by so many people it's like, who doesn't like them?! Wide smile, messy hair, dangerous eyes...💀 Omg pile 3 why am I freaking out so much this is great- Their voice makes you high that's what I'm hearing LMAO you wanna hate them but then you can't omg I'm hearing this persons a catch like others would KILL to date this person...🤯 This person lights up the room I mean set it on fire🔥 They have a way with words, and omg they have a knack for telling dirty jokes at parties and like they're so smooth about it-😳 I'm just gonna say it this person is probably really hot my pile 3 the person in love with you is HOT. But you wanna know what?? The worst part of all is they just wanna give you a hug!! They don't want a wild night or some naughty crap they just want to make you smile😭😭😭 They seem like a bad boy/girl but for you they're so sweet I can't...💓 They just wanna make you laugh and talk about your interests. They find you so amusing and exciting to be around, some of you may have a bad impression of this person. So you could be really on the fence about them, or shutting them out completely because you think they're bad news. I'm hearing "don't blame me" you may blame them for some reason!! They could be someone you like and blame them for your feelings😝💕

🧁Why they love you: Past, Magnetic, Acceptance, Passion, Dare, Chiron, Scorpio, North node, Pisces, 2nd house, 😭⁉️😟🦥 Awww I feel like they saw you and was like 🥺!! Like when you see a little cat on the street and you just melt😫💓 I'm getting fast attraction vibes with this one, this person probably fell quick for my pile 3's. I feel like they were like "wow who's this hottie?" Or something like that omg just like such raw passion🥴🔥🧲 Mars in 1st house overlay vibes~ It could have been a dare from their friends to try and win you over, but they just fell deeper in love with you😍 I feel like it was first physical attraction that led them to seeking more about you, then once they saw the deeper shades of your heart they felt even more inclined to love you!! They love your magnetic aura and how you're healing yourself from damaged emotions. They think you're so strong and your endurance is very attractive to them, they have much passion and respect for my pile 3 and just overall so much love!❤ They want to he that shoulder to cry on when you finally open up to them, and they love the true you, the emotional and vulnerable you. They love your chaotic little mind, they also really fall in love with you when you cry. It makes them feel drawn to protect and be there for you, to experience everything you are feeling. They're the type to put themselves in your shoes, just so they know exactly how you feel. They love watching you grow and heal, and transform into the the strongest most powerful person you can be.🤧🖤

💌Messages from your person: Sing to me, I thought it was all in my head, Focus on me, I wanna kiss your neck, You make me so happy (Ahhh so cute😍❤) Extra cards: Angel, Out, Cafe, Girlfriend, Innocence, South node, 11th house, Scorpio, Leo, Fire (My pile 3 they wanna ask you out on a date <3)

Thank you my pile 3's! If you feel this resonated, you may tap the heart to claim this message!💫🌸

I hope you enjoyed your reading! ʚ(｡˃ ᵕ ˂ )ɞ If you did be sure to let me know pile 3 with the white heart emoji~🤍 Thanks for scrolling through, Hugs hugs hugs!! See you in the next reading💗🌸💗🌸🎀

Pile 4🎃

Sign energy: Accusation, Admiration, Fear, Company, Fit, Gemini, Lilith, 9th house, 5th house, Saturn,🧚‍♀️🌇✌🦋

🧸Your energy: You give ethereal fairy/pixie vibes, you probably dreamed of becoming an air pilot as a kid😆 You enjoy having people over in your home. You felt restricted in your early years by others, so you admire those who can live freely and live in chaos and fun. You desire change in your life and all you want to to have a good time, others have tried to dampen your fun and good vibes. For some you may have had an older sibling that got on to you a lot, or told you to be more responsible😞 Could have been told you don't fit in with your family, because you are different. But my pile 4 you are so special, you are like a fairy!!😉 So magical and joyful~ you are a child at heart no matter the age, and you probably believe in fairytales at least a little🤏😇💫 You have changed a lot over the years and learned so much, you have many role models. Your child-like nature is both a blessing and a curse, many people hated you for being so light and joyful. But so many people love this about you, those who gave you a hard time felt bad that they couldn't face life as bright and care-free as you do. You truly are a gift to this world⭐

🍑Who is in love with you: Ability, Inactivity, Change, Soft spot, Friends, 2nd house, 8th house, Moon, Uranus, Chiron, 💄🤹‍♂️🌻😚 Omggg this is someone you know pile 4, this could be your best friend or a friend of yours. Could be friends of friends also, lgbtq+ vibes with this person, they could totally be a friend that has a secret crush on you!!🙊 This could be a childhood friend, perhaps someone who always cared for you all along. They are deeply in love with you pile 4 and they are so delicate with you, the way they speak is like a flower so calming and still. Could be Cancer, Taurus, Scorpio or Aquarius placements. I just realized the juggling emoji with the rainbow so that's another confirmation for any lgbtq+ in this pile :D This person loves you in such a pure adorable way, they light up when you smile. And they have the means to truly heal you my lovely pile 4, I mean they could really treat you well. They want to take care of you and probably always did/do.💝 I'm getting that if this is a childhood friend situation that they always cared for you like tend to your injuries, gave you bandaids, shared their lunch, honestly so sweet😭🥺💗🩹 You guys may not have a label for your relationship or it could be very confusing for you both, "are we friends? Do they like me? What are we??" What I'm hearing. This is a very emotional and empathetic native, they are so involved in your comfort and care. They want to check up on you a lot and ask if you're okay <3 This person is genuinely out for your best interest.

🧁Why they love you: Think outside the box, Devotion, Practical, Capricorn, Happiness, Earth, Scorpio, 5th house, 9th house, Saturn, 🌅🧤🎓🗻 I think they realized how smart and capable you are and just how you showed everyone that you aren't childish in a bad way and can actually achieve whatever you put your mind to.🤗 This person is in love with your perseverance and dedication for the things you care about, they love your care-free and fun yet able mentality. They especially love how dedicated you are to being happy and creating your own happiness, that really makes them fall in love💘 They find your mind so interesting and unlike any other, your ideas and beliefs are so unique and innovative to them. You are their little box of happiness awww and they wanna take you with them everywhere they go🥺 They think you're really smart and you never stop amazing them. Every little thing you do inspires this person, and makes them fall deeper in love with you. I feel like they try to think rationally about their feelings for you, because they wanna be thoughtful and rational just like you can be. But of course you make them so emotional and just so many feelings are ignited within this person for you. They love your success and all that you have achieved with your will. They are in awe with the things you do and say, your happiness makes them feel safe. They fell in love with your bright eyes and strong personality.🌈

💌Messages from your person: Cheer for me, No one makes me feel this way, It's karma, I have no boundaries with you, I've changed (I feel like you've inspired this person to keep going and stay strong!! You have shown this person how to be strong and believe in themselves and they honestly adore you for that🥺💓) Extra cards: Show, Interpretation, Sight, Conflict, Softie, Pluto, Jupiter, Neptune, Vertex, Sun

Thank you my pile 4's! If you feel this resonated, you may tap the heart to claim this message!💫🌸

I hope you enjoyed your reading! ʚ(｡˃ ᵕ ˂ )ɞ If you did be sure to let me know pile 4 with the pumpkin emoji~🎃 Thanks for scrolling through, Hugs hugs hugs!! See you in the next reading💗🌸💗🌸🎀

Wanna see more readings like this? Check out my tumblr for accurate readings for you!💗🌊🌸

Thanks for reading! \(*^w^)/💌 -Lunadream <3

[read-marx-and-lenin]

Genuine question, why most socialist countries are a one-party state ?

Plenty of socialist countries, even Marxist-Leninist countries, have or had multiple parties in power. East Germany was and China and the DPRK are all multi-party states. Even the ones that don't permit the organization of independent political parties, such as the USSR, Cuba, and Vietnam, all had or have independent political candidates holding office. So "one-party state" has never meant "only one party ever gets to hold office".

Rather, the function of affording specific privilege to the ruling political party, and this function has always been a constitutional privilege democratically decided by the people and not some imposition by the party without consent, has been to safeguard the socialist revolution against counter-revolutionary activity. Lenin's conception of the dictatorship of the proletariat and of the vanguard party, which informed the development of democratic centralism and the one-party socialist state, called for the creation of a political movement led by the most advanced revolutionaries that would guide the construction of a state created and run by the working class as a whole and existing for the purpose of ensuring the wellbeing of the proletariat while suppressing the bourgeoisie.

The question every revolutionary socialist state has been met with from day one has been "how do we ensure that our revolution does not fall victim to sabotage and counter-revolution?" The efforts of the bourgeoisie, both within and without, have always been focused on counter-revolution, and no socialist state has been exempt from these efforts. It is because of this that so many socialist states have chosen to implement democratic centralism and restrict independent political organization. While there exist strong international movements to sabotage socialism, it is not safe for socialists to simply go "we overthrew our domestic bourgeoisie! revolution's over!" The defense of the revolution and its achievements must be prioritized, both through physical defense and through political defense.

The one-party socialist state has never been an obstacle to genuine political debate, and there have always been lively political discussions at every level on every topic of importance to the citizenry. It has only ever been an obstacle to those organizations that exist solely to agitate towards undoing socialism and returning to capitalism. We see in the aftermath of the fall of communism in Eastern Europe how the seemingly "progressive" hopes of the social reformists were dashed once capitalism returned to the region. What has the "freedom" of multi-party bourgeois democracy looked like? Poverty, displacement, and war. The people were dazzled by Western consumer goods while they had their countries stolen out from under them.

As always, I recommend reading Pat Sloan's "Soviet Democracy" and Anna Louise Strong's "In North Korea" for historic first-hand examples of how democratic centralism functions in practice.

[aran-morinorea]

Tar-Telepta, Aran Morinórea: I want to hear about Annatar's Shit Paradigms, of course :D

...All right so here's the thing you don't get Annatar's Shit Paradigms because it needed so much groundwork before I can begin to write actual prose. But you do get this whole thing describing Annatar's interiority in the months after The Inciting Event for the whole au. Because I needed to pin it down so I can even start Annatar's Shit Paradigms.

--

Celebrimbor confronts Annatar - Tar-Mairon - about his activities in Mordor, gives him the “Your evil plans or me” ultimatum, and then Mairon fucks off to go have a tantrum.

This tantrum involves: 

Going back to Barad-dur and killing some people who definitely 100% deserved it for sure. 

That thing where someone goes to a bathroom and splashes water on their face and looks in the mirror while leaning on the sink except it’s lava instead of water. 

Laying facedown in the fires of Mount Doom and rethinking his life. 

Causing multiple earthquakes. 

...Thinking about the joy of watching Celebrimbor learn and make things. 

Thinking about the satisfaction of working in partnership with someone else, someone as vibrant and strong and smart and wonderful as Celebrimbor. 

Thinking about going and taking Celebrimbor by force, laying siege to Ost-in-Edhil and putting him in chains and bringing him here and keeping him.

… Thinking about how strong and vibrant and stubborn and principled Celebrimbor is. 

Thinking about whether Celebrimbor would be one of those people who would rather die than live as a thrall. 

Realizing that yes, Celebrimbor absolutely would die for what he believes in, and it would be so much work to try keep his spirit around, and it wouldn’t be nearly the same as having him - really having him - having him to work and argue and play with - having his love.

Remembering that Celebrimbor still doesn’t know about the Sauron thing, and he might be able to keep it that way.

Remembering that Celebrimbor did not cast him out of his life unequivocally - he will not be the friend or lover of a slaver and an imperialist, but if Mairon takes steps to stop being those things -

Thinking about how hard it would be, really, to stop being those things.

Realizing he’s genuinely considering just giving up on the vision of Melkor.

Spontaneously filling the whole room with flames.

That was the throne room. He’d been sitting there, motionless and completely unresponsive, for four days.

There might have been people in there who will be annoying to replace. Mairon simply cannot care about it right now.

Remaining on fire while thinking about Melkor’s promises.

He said it was only a matter of time.

He said it would be better to put the rightful king on the throne of Arda quickly, and get back to the business of metals and fractals, than to fight a long defeat and be judged unworthy at the end, never having time for beauty again.

And then He lost.

Three times out of four.

As soon as the Valar bothered to interfere.

And maybe, at the end, after the final battle, it would be better, safer, to have been working toward His purposes the whole time He was gone, but -

Thinking about what would happen if the Valar bothered to interfere with his current projects.

…Thinking about how hard it would be, really, to be - in truth, even, maybe! - someone Celebrimbor could love.

How hard would it be to act within the boundaries of Celebrimbor’s principles?

He did not say “Believe what I believe.”

He did not say “Cease to be a monster.”

He said “Your policies are monstrous and I cannot support them,” which suggests that it is the action that matters most to him. That the problem is what he is doing, and not what he is.

Changing that does not seem so hard.

Perhaps it will be a fun challenge, like an arbitrary restriction for a jewelcraft competition.

And really - if anyone is going to change him - if he’s going to accept anyone’s judgement - if there’s anyone currently in Arda who Mairon thinks is right - would it not be Celebrimbor?

Of course it would.

Deciding that, you know what, Mairon would be willing to commit to Celebrimbor’s vision - if Celebrimbor will fucking commit to him.

This is so Mairon can keep him.

So that they will twine their souls together and be - be that partnership which is so full of joy.

Deciding that if Celebrimbor won’t do it - if he wants “Annatar” to give him this without giving anything in return - then - yes.

Then he will find another way to keep him. 

And it would not be as good, it would not be Mairon’s shining vision, but it would be something. And eventually Celebrimbor would see the value in Mairon’s methods. He’s sure of it.

When he’s finally done with his tantrum, Annatar climbs out of the magma-filled crevasse he'd been sulking in and goes up to draft the words to a wedding proposal.

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

WIBTA For Snitching On My Brother?

tl;dr at the end, the submissions a bit long. sorry if this sounds like stupid teen drama, but i needed outside opinions. (tw for mentions of attempted suicide)

so for a bit of context here, me (14nb) and my brother (14m) both have Parental RestrictionsTM on our phones. In my opinion they are way more severe than they need to be. i am not allowed to have any social media at all, my mother barely tolerates discord. I cannot text anyone who is not my direct sibling or parent from 9pm at night to noon the next day and i cant use any "nonessential" apps during that time frame too. my brother has the same restrictions on his phone, but he has safari removed because my mother said he was playing "random internet games". however, he has found ways around this and ways around the app restrictions. i know how he does it. i really dont have any intention of telling our mother, its none of my business and i honestly dont care that much.

I recently moved to a new school. My brother and i were homeschooled prior to this during covid. And it was fine. We went to a homeschool co-op twice a week. A year ago we were both enrolled in Local Community College as dual enrollment students. A semester into that i was Not Vibing Well and ended up having a breakdown and getting a therapist. I would talk to her directly about this but i havent been able to see her in weeks due to scheduling conflicts. The workload seemed too much to me, there was no longer a distinction between School and Home. i felt like i was constantly on the clock, and i barely saw my friends. In addition to other factors at my co-op, I got very lonely. At that time the limits on my phone were 9pm-3pm (it was later edited to 9am to noon) . I cant remember exactly what happened, but i asked my mother to at least change the communication limits so that i could talk to my friends during the day. She said no, stating that I Do Not Need to Communicate With Friends During The School Day. i do not have a real “school day” i am at home basically 5/7 days of the week. And normal kids see their friends every day at school. The argument got dropped then.

Fast forward half a year, i felt increasingly lonely, out of place, bothersome, etc, at my co-op and have decided to try going to Local Public Highschool. This meant leaving my best friend (14f)  whom i love dearly (for the purposes of this post i will call her Z). Z is one of my favorite people in the whole world, we got platonically married, I lovingly refer to her as “my wife”, and i would genuinely die for her. She got a phone over the summer which means we have a better way to communicate, replacing discord as the primary communication system. Also at that time one of my best online friends fucked up their discord account somehow and the whole online group moved to text. there's about four of them? J, Other J, B, and L (ages vary from 12-16). I believe only B is directly relevant to this story but the others are worth mentioning. Additional context (tw for mentions of suicide from now on), all of those four are varyingly suicidal. B has attempted before, at least twice I believe. out of the group i am probably the most mentally stable.

School starts! I am already feeling a bit lonely due to leaving Z but we stay positive. I wake up for school at like 530 and check my phone at like 6:45. Woohoo a message from B! It was sent at 4 am. This is concerning. There is a glitch that i can use in order to view texts for between half a second and four seconds, it depends, and i use it. B’s message reads “Bye”. theres no fucking reason that they would be texting me goodbye at 4am in the morning unless they were going to kill themselves. I cannot properly view or respond to that text until noon, so eight hours. I wait to know if my friend is ok for eight hours, and at noon i check my phone again. In that time i’ve received messages from the groupchat. J, Other J, and L all received “bye” texts from B at around the same time period. After a few messages, we know B is ok, i dmed them privately and they responded both in ims and the gc. So they are ok. But i had to wait for eight hours to know that. Later that day i asked my mom if she had considered my proposal (i asked her a day or two before if she would at least turn off communication limits because it is also rather embarrassing to be honest to have to tell other people that oh i cant respond to your message right now, sorry my mom has limits on my phone :D. In addition i get anxious when i send a message that im nervous abt and it doesnt get responded to for hours so i hate leaving messages for longer than two hours). Once again, she said no. it goes against her Views As A Parent for me to have “unrestricted access” to my phone. She offered to add only Z to the list of people i can contact during the limits. This is better than nothing but Z texts more in the groupchat than she does in private messages so it wouldn’t work that well. We argued, it didnt work out, i got pissed off and we both went to bed. i very strongly feel that for like my mental health i need to be able to communicate with my friends better than i can at the moment. And i dont want to wake up to a message from a friend, have it be the last one they ever send, and not be able to respond for hours. 

Heres where the part where i could be an asshole comes in. (so sorry that that was really long i didnt know what parts would be needed as context and what were not so i just typed everything i think might be relevant). This isnt something that i am very strongly considering, as i truly dont want to fuck up my relationship with my brother and i love him a lot. I just want opinions on whether it would like be going too far i guess. I am considering offering a trade. I tell my mother how my brother has found ways around his limits, and she turns off the communication limits on my phone. WIBTA if i did that?

TL;DR: would i be the asshole if i snitched on how my brother got around some restrictions in exchange for me being able to communicate with my friends?

What are these acronyms?

[vickyvicarious]

If I be sane, then surely it is maddening to think that of all the foul things that lurk in this hateful place the Count is the least dreadful to me; that to him alone I can look for safety, even though this be only whilst I can serve his purpose. Great God! merciful God! Let me be calm, for out of that way lies madness indeed. [...] The Count's mysterious warning frightened me at the time; it frightens me more now when I think of it, for in future he has a fearful hold upon me. I shall fear to doubt what he may say!

Jonathan is very aware of the game Dracula is playing here. It's just like the wolves on the way to the castle (and in fact the way he wards the vampire ladies off is a direct echo of the gesture he used then): he presents himself and the places he has prepared for Jonathan as a welcome escape from greater and more uncontrolled/immediate dangers lurking in wait just outside. Jonathan fell for this trick that first night. He was glad to be inside rather than left alone in the cold and dark with howling wolves, despite his hesitance, and he let Dracula make him feel better. And doing so left him trapped inside this prison.

Now, he's well aware of what is happening, and doesn't want to fall for it again - yet in a way, he has no choice but to do so. The vampire ladies are an immediate and intense danger, but Dracula can keep them away. All Jonathan has to do is rely on him once again. In terms of movements, it restricts him more fully to the places Dracula has already set aside for him. That's bad enough, because those places are secure against escape already, so his prisoner status is even more solidified.

But the much greater danger here is what it might do to him mentally/emotionally. Jonathan knows he has no choice but to look to Dracula for safety, but he can't dwell on the thought without feeling like he's going mad. Because he knows just as well that he will only ever be 'safe' with Dracula so long as the Count wants, so long as he does exactly what the Count asks of him. He's so afraid at the thought that Dracula's hold over him will grow. He's already so smart and charming when he wants to be, manipulative and clever and sadistic. He's already playing at friendship and Jonathan has to doubt everything he says. Except now he finds himself having to doubt his own doubt, too, because maybe some warnings will be genuine. Maybe it will be better for him not to fight so hard against Dracula. Except if he stops doing that, he'll never stand any chance in the long run - but if he keeps trying so hard he'll never get to the long run.

He's completely trapped, and fully aware of it.

[stripedstarsblueflags]

i didn't win the wheel: episode 9 (pt. 1)

why did williams have to choose the freakiest content setup for the time in the season when their drivers' mental health is going to be at its lowest (so far)? seriously, this could’ve been GOLD. instead we’ve got some sad and understated praise kink and a lot of vegetables. anyway. to elaborate:

Logan: “What’s up, everyone… this is what’s-that-crunch… wheel-or-no-wheel. What we’re exactly doing here I’m not sure–”

yeah, exactly what i meant. ever see someone look that disengaged with a blindfold on? you have now. and oh god this image is a punch in the gut. the symbolism in this particular frame GAGS ME. logan is completely blindfolded, painfully and poorly delivering an unoriginal script that clearly has been fed to him seconds before the camera turns on. alex, on the other hand, is lifting his blindfold up, looking around, taking in logan and the room around them and the camera crew… honestly, you gotta feel for the williams pr team, because in this instance they’ve accidentally shown us what it’s like to have one of their drivers restricted by their device and yet forced to lead anyway while the other is dealing with a similar obstacle while being allowed and encouraged to overcome it. genuinely a coincidence but such a flop. thank god none of the fans who watch this are analytical hyperreactive overachievers who look into every single aspect of these videos with merciless scrutiny and rainbow-colored glasses, right?

omg how did i just now notice that under that stupid skinny ass table both their legs are almost touching except alex is a giraffe so he has to keep his giraffe ankles tucked awkwardly back closer to the chair legs so he’s not taking up logan’s space but he still wants to have horrible posture so he’s a half-folded lawn chair wtfffffff this is too cute!!

Logan (still doing the intro)(still confusedly): “But you know whoever wins… gets to spin tha’ wheel.”

THANK YOU, LOGAN SARGEANT. this is what i meant about blindfolds 🤝 freak content, except usually when we have other teams do this there’s usually a pretty big goofball element to it (even charlos always brings goofball to the kink). this tiny snippet on the other hand looks suspiciously like he’s doing it on purpose. just looking at the gif doesn’t begin to cover it, even to my own eyes it looks like i’m reading too much into it paired with the visual alone but it’s all in the tone of voice. i REALLY recommend rewatching this episode because there’s no way i can do it justice in just words. the closest i can get to is my favorite word to use when someone’s voice is being sexy which is ‘lilt’. like there’s no seduction or husk or anything obviously intentional like that it’s more like you can just hear the slow arrogance in their voice. the way the pitch fluctuations almost singsong like just on the edge of a taunt no matter what the actual words are saying. it’s how people say i’ve got you right where i want you.

and also. THE VISUAL?? IS STILL A THING?? logan is blindfolded since the start of the video, so until this point he’s just been facing some meaningless direction because, duh, he can’t actually see. he doesn’t even make much of an effort to face the camera as he’s introducing the show even though he obviously remembers where it is. but the shift. the turning to the camera for just a split second and his deadpan expression flickering into a lazy smirk and his voice gets ✨like that✨ and here we go game show hosts and their attraction to inanimate objects but by the time he gets to “that wheel” (tha’ wheel) he’s turning right back to alex. who at this point is probably also blindfolded. and can’t see logan. and even if he isn’t and is still fidgeting logan doesn’t know that because LOGAN CAN’T SEE SHIT. but he remembers the bit alex likes and instead of just repeating the same old same old (which we know alex will laugh at no matter how many times) he makes this tiny adjustment in just the body language and the tone of voice alone and now we’ve transitioned from him flirting with the wheel to him flirting with alex. fuck. this is episode four and episode one territory why does depression get in the way of everything

Alex: *celery noises*

Logan: “….can you take another bite?”

[both laugh]

what is this challenge like– oh my god i can’t take it any seriously than they can. first of all the ASMR mic-ed up crunching? major ick, we all know what celery sounds like, we don’t need Celery (Alex’s Version). but it’s so unbearably awkward that it ends up being hilarious anyway. logan having no idea how to ask that question (because what kind of question is “can you take another bite so i can intently listen to it with my head leaned towards your face and my eyes covered”) but at the very least it helps them bring some warmth into the activity. up to this point (with flirtatious logan appearance being a notable exception) they’ve seemed very… isolated. logan’s entire vibe is “why did you wake me up for this” at 3 pm and alex is left without 1) an interesting sport or task he actually wants to do AND 2) logan to help him stay present, cause logan is entirely matching alex’s “how long do i have to be here” energy and when they plateau like this the awkwardness becomes nauseating. until finally the game itself is so stupid that they can’t play it without laughing at the activity and themselves and even when he’s looking down logan’s smile is such a relief to see

also, alex staring intently at logan and leaning all the way over and chewing with his mouth open and trying to be as helpful as possible even while logan’s mind is entirely tv static. adorable. so often alex forgets to treat these challenges as a competition and instead to him it’s like a group activity, a puzzle they have to work together to solve like mice in a maze or smth because it’s not fun for him if logan’s losing

Alex: *pepper noises*

Logan: “A bit softer…”

Alex: “Mm. Good.”

Logan: “…one more.”

ooooh okay i like that a lot better. so the first try (celery) was a flop; already in this second item we see some changes. because what did i say alex has way more fun when this is a little puzzle they have to solve together rather than them both trying to stump the other. remember lewis looking up “most difficult words to lip-read” in that noise cancelling headphone thing against george? alex brings a very different energy. i can’t believe i’m analyzing chewing techniques now but from the very first bite he’s ending his sentence early, swallowing, leaning closer, the concentration is evident on his face with how clear he’s trying to make this crunch sound. and then logan starts talking out loud, trying to narrate his thought process basically, but not trying to trick anyone into giving him a hint– it’s sort of like on grill the grid when he thinks out loud not to entice a clue but to prove “hey, i’m thinking! i’m putting effort into this! i’m actually trying i just don’t know the answer please don’t think i’m stupid” and alex– who at this point is supposed to be competing, how many times do i have to remind– is audibly encouraging him. only leans back when he can tell logan’s on the right track (sort of).

and that in turn– just the word ‘good’ is an evident confidence boost for logan. it doesn’t take a lot to get him to turn around, alex doesn’t have to worry about being patronizing or sounding like he’s trying too hard but the fact that alex is observing how he’s doing in the first place and noticing when he improves/gets something right even in a game is enough. and so the next time logan asks for a repeat it’s not a really awkward sentence, it’s not “i’m gonna say this in a goofy voice because i’m so uncomfortable asking this that i have to make this funny because otherwise the embarrassment is going to kill both of us” it’s a command. like god shivers down my spine. and alex doesn’t laugh either he just takes another bite good boy because this is how he prefers to play the game! together!

still didn’t guess the pepper but moving on!

ok this is just adorable. alex what were you doing

didn’t set out for this to be a two-parter (maybe more???) but whenever there’s a blindfold the body language goes CRAZY to overcompensate and there’s always so much more to analyze! so breaking this down for now!