lonelydragonlady

[lonelydragonlady]

Just Pretend-Thirty One[FINALE]

*gif created by me. feel free to use, simply give credit*

Parings: Noah Sebastian x Musician! Reader

Warnings/Tropes: language, angst, fluff, smut(18+), star-crossed lovers, right person/wrong time, cheating, talks of mental abuse, talks of death, depressive thoughts, talks about not being able to conceive, and endometriosis.

Summary: “I can wait for years, heaven knows I’m not getting over you.” A story about two star-crossed lovers, that always find their way back because their souls are entwined. The universe desperately attempts to bring them together, no matter what the cost.

Authors Note: After over a year of writing this story, we finally are at the end. I have so many things to say yet I think I will bask in the moment for a little bit before I bore you with my emotions. So please take this for now: Thank you all so fucking much for your endless love and support for this silly little fic. It started off as a simple request(i hope you're still around 🎧 ). But it brought me so many friendships. I owe you all so much. Forever grateful for every single one of you.

My inbox will forever be open if you want to talk about the finale. 🖤

Huge thank you to my loves @blueskylinesx and @artificialbreezy for your endless support and helping me with the vows. I love you both immensely.

Angel and Mochi forever. 🪽🍡

Tags[CLOSED]: @blueskylinesx @missduffsblog @hayleylatour @sleepyomens @loeytuan98 @artificialbreezy @marvelousmal @bngurngheart @wild-child-7747 @calleyx13 @illmakeyousaywow @jaded-and-hollow-souls @shayzillaaaa @badomensls @shadowseve @collective-heartbreak @klutzy-kay24 @sorrowsofsilence @sweetlittlekitsune @shilohrosechicken @itsafullmoon @toospooktocute @niicoleleigh @thatchickwiththecamera @hoe-for-daddywise @whenthesummerdies @thisbicc @sammyjoeee @joe9cool @ozwriterchick @happi-goth @dsireland86 @cncohshit @heyyoplayer @rain-down-on-mee @respectfulrebel @malerieee @myownthoughts12 @noahsbong @laurpartyprogram @cloudykoookie @sideeyenoah @bellaboo967 @rxdlstgn @anthemheatwave @lobolocaamo @amelia-acero @karenfrancoespinosa-blog @collidewiththesavannah @xserenax-13 @supersquirrel1996 @themodern-daywednesday @oxythoughtin7715

THIS IS FICTION. NONE OF THIS IS REAL.

READER

ONE MONTH LATER.

“Noah,” I choked out while gazing up at the familiar home with tears filling my eyes. 

He stood behind me with his arms wrapped around my waist and his chin resting on top of my head. We both swayed with the sudden rush of wind which caused Noah to hold me tighter, bringing the warmth from his body to my own. 

“Are you mad?” He asked. 

I couldn’t remove my eyes from the SOLD sign on the front yard of the familiar house and the key Chase was dangling in front of my face with a shit eating grin. A month ago on that night underneath the fairy lights, Noah proposed with the ring hanging on Kuma’s new collar. When I found the ring and looked over at Noah that night, he said two simple words. 

“Marry me.” 

I accepted before he finished the words, nearly tackling him to the ground. We connected that night underneath the fairy lights, his cock slowly dragging in and out of me while I rocked my hips up into him. Afterwards, we lay together tangled underneath the stars with the blanket barely covering us as we talked about our wedding plans. Our conversation during our many 2pm Facetime calls was something we both remembered fondly. 

With a hesitant sigh, I nodded. "Japan is just such an important place to me, for several reasons. I have this little fantasy that I’d run off and get married there. It's so peaceful and quiet with my closest friends and family. One and done romance type shit."

Noah stiffened while scratching his chin.

"What? I freak you out, girlfriend?" | joked with a teasing smirk.

He chuckled nervously. "No. I- uh, who's the groom?"

"I don't know, never got that far. It's always been the small child in me's dream."

It took some time with many nights of wondering if I was worthy enough but I found my groom. 

So when we broke the news to everyone two days later, wanting to bask in it privately beforehand, we told everyone that we’d be getting married in Japan. But with the future shows both Bad Omens and Hollow Souls had planned, we knew we would either have to push off the wedding for a couple years or get married before the shows. 

Now, a month later, all of us were in Japan for our wedding that was happening in a few days. It wasn’t anything big and lavish, something small with our family; some old and some new. 

“You bought my dad’s house?” I asked while peering over my shoulder at him. 

Noah turned me around so I could face him head on and pressed my hands against his chest, the diamond on my left ring finger catching the light of the setting sun.

“I contacted a realtor shortly after we left about buying your dads house. It didn’t feel right letting it go to someone else. Your dad lived here for half of his life, Y/N. It deserves to stay in the family,” he explained. 

I blew out a shaky breath while resting my head against his shoulder, those strong arms wrapping around me yet again. 

“Thank you.” 

Noah brushed his lips over my forehead. “You’re not mad I bought a house without asking you? Especially your dad’s house?” 

“Not at all. I was at a dark point in my life the last time we were here that all I wanted was to forget about this place. But I’m so thankful you bought it,” I slipped my hands up his sweater over his stomach, grazing my nails over the warm skin. 

Chase stepped into my view as my face was buried into Noah’s chest and he was twirling the key around his finger. “We replaced most of the furniture you had sold before you put it up on the market. Noah hired a paint crew to come through and put a fresh coat everywhere. It’s like a new house but still has the old bones of when your dad lived here, if that makes sense.” 

Stepping out of Noah’s embrace, I pulled Chase in for a hug while smushing his face into my chest and kissed the top of his head which due to how tall he was made it difficult. 

“I love you, bud.” 

He grumbled under his breath while pushing me back into Noah’s embrace and adjusting his messed up shirt. Even with his teasing, I could see the love in his bright blue eyes. 

“Keep it up and you’re walking yourself down the aisle,” Chase taunted and then turned on his heels to walk over to Malcolm, who had been unloading the rental car. 

As the two of them shared a kiss, I called out to them while Noah and I continued to stand on the front step of our new home. 

“I’m going to drag you guys down the aisle with me if I have too!” 

Noah chuckled, brushing a kiss across my lips. “I can’t believe we’re getting married.” 

“I know!” I giggled while wrapping my hands behind his neck. “Do you think we kind of jump the gun, though? We don’t have a venue. The only thing we have planned is my dress, your outfit, and the bridal party.” 

“About that,” he sprawled his hands over my lower back as everyone else moved around us, bringing in their suitcases into the house. 

It was decided that we all would stay here because we had plenty of space. 

“How would you feel about getting married in the backyard? I know it might not be your dream wedding but I just thought it would be perfect. Lots of space for all of us, privacy fence so no one can spy on us, and the girls already have an idea on how to decorate it. If you’re alright with that. We don’t want you to feel pressured-.” 

I placed a hand over Noah’s mouth to stop his rambling. “Mochi, you know you ramble when you’re nervous?” 

He nodded as I continued. “We could literally get married in the bedroom with just us two and it would be my dream wedding.” 

Matt suddenly appeared over Noah’s shoulder. “Technically it wouldn’t be legal unless you had someone who was ordained.” 

Rolling my eyes, I let my hand drop from Noah’s mouth only to link my fingers with his as we began slowly walking up the rest of the way towards the front door with Matt. 

“Speaking of being ordained, did you do what you needed to?” Noah asked. 

“Yes. I am officially ordained in Japan,” Matt wore a big smile. “So I get to marry my best friends.” 

“How’s Dove feeling?” I asked while motioning towards Matt’s cousin, who was off to the far side of the yard with Faye, having their own conversation. 

“She’s okay, might take some time but she’ll get there,” Matt nodded while stuffing his hands into the pocket of his hoodie. “I appreciate you guys letting her come, given you don’t really know her.” 

Noah waved him off. “Dove is your cousin, Matt. Which means she’s family, just like you.” 

“I’ve always watched out for her when we were growing up so whatever I can do to protect her, I’ll do it.” 

Once Matt left us to run towards Faye and Dove, I felt Noah squeeze my hand which caused me to gaze over at him with furrowed brows. 

“Did your mom ever call you back?” He wondered. 

I scoffed, doing my best not to let the anger I felt festering inside of me not ruin the whirlwind high we’d been feeling since our proposal last month. 

“Nope. I left her a voicemail all three times that I called her to tell her what’s going on,” I answered. 

Noah’s shoulders fell. “Does that make you upset?” 

“Honestly?” I shrugged. “Not really. She’d never been around for any other big moments of my life. I have everyone here that’s important to me. That’s all that matters.” 

With a smile, he motioned towards the house behind me. “Are you ready to go inside?” 

“Oh,” I muttered as my shoulders fell because I realized that this would be the first time I stepped inside my dad’s place since his funeral. 

Well, now I guess it would be our house.

Glancing over my shoulder to the front door less than a few feet in front of us, I gnawed on the inside of my cheek. Chase and Noah mentioned that it was basically a new house inside with a fresh coat of paint and new furniture. Deep down I knew that even though everything was new inside, my dad’s spirit would be lingering there. 

“Yeah,” I finally nodded while looking back at him. “I’ve been telling myself it’s a fresh start, ya know?” 

With a tender kiss to my hand, Noah led me through the front door as we took the first step together towards our future. 

READER

“What the fuck!? JOE!” I yelled while pushing away from the table and running towards the familiar face that had just walked into the ramen restaurant. 

Joe broke out in laughter as I nearly tackled him to the ground. “Hey kid.” 

All of us were having a little makeshift rehearsal dinner at a ramen place that my dad loved the night before the wedding. We all made plans for when Bad Omens, ERRA, and Hollow Souls played Inkarceration. Then spent most of the night reminiscing on past memories. Every so often, I’d catch Noah looking at his phone before letting his gaze linger on the door of the restaurant but never thought much of it. I’d been in a deep conversation with Dove as she talked about what happened when she was on the road a month ago. 

“What the hell are you doing in Japan?” I asked Joe after pulling away from our hug. 

“Oh you know, I was in the neighborhood and thought I’d come by to say hello,” he playfully smirked. 

I rolled my eyes as I felt Noah walk up beside me, giving Joe a handshake. “Thanks for coming. I know it was kind of last minute.” 

Joe waved Noah off. “All good. Thank you guys for the invite.” 

My stomach dropped when I realized from the craziness of the last month, I’d forgotten to invite one of my good friends. Forever thankful that Noah thought of it, I rose on my toes to place a kiss on his cheek. 

“You thought of everything, huh?” I breathed in his ear. 

Noah looked at me, something mischievous in his ember eyes. “You have no idea, angel.” 

Dragging both Joe and Noah back to the table, we all eased back into the dinner and every so often I’d feel Noah squeeze my thigh before inching his fingers up closer to my core. With the amount of people in the house, we decided that we would hold off on sex until our wedding night. 

Needless to say, both of us were extremely wound up but I kept telling myself that it would all be worth it in two nights' time when we finally had the house to ourselves.  

Once we all finished dinner, we all piled out of the restaurant with a suggestion from Nicholas to check out the local market in town. While most of the group dispersed in their own directions, Noah and I found ourselves alone for the first time in hours. 

“I’m so stuffed,” Noah groaned while rubbing a hand over his stomach. 

I wrapped my arms tighter around him while burying my face into his chest as we walked down the market block in Japan. 

“Are you happy you finally got your real ramen?” I teased while poking his chest. 

With a playful roll of his eyes, Noah brushed a kiss along my forehead as we walked through the crowds of people that gathered at the market. Earlier before dinner, I’d bought about four different mangas that had characters on the cover that looked like Noah, something he made sure to grumble about. 

“How the hell does this Yamada guy look like me?” He asked, utterly confused while holding up one of the mangas. 

I snatched it from him, holding it close to my chest. “I bet if I found a picture of you with this exact hair cut and did a side by side comparison, you’d see I’m right. Too bad you cut your hair yesterday.” 

Noah’s hair had been unruly lately so with the wedding coming up, he’d shaved the ends while still keeping the levi cut up top. Even though I'd always love his longer hair, I had to admit he looked absolutely gorgeous this way as well. 

“Y/N, look,” Noah pulled us to a stop, his arms around my shoulder, and pointed in front of us. 

Following his long finger, my eyes landed on a familiar older figure standing at one of the book tents in the market. 

“It’s older you!” I squealed, a little too loudly. 

The older gentleman looked over towards us at my outburst and when the look of remembrance crossed his face, he gave us a small wave. 

“Well, look who it is!” Older Noah smiled while walking over to us. “What are the odds I’d run into you guys in Japan?” 

Throughout the years, this was the third time we’d run into the older gentleman and his wife. The first time at the coffee shop back when Bad Omens and Hollow Souls toured together, the second time when Noah and I spent the afternoon at the pier where he bought me ice cream, and now here in Japan. Yet it was then that I noticed he was alone. 

“Ah, yes,” Older Noah tapped the book against his chest when he noticed me looking around. “My Allie passed away a month ago.”

Both Noah and I sucked in a breath, something the older one waved off. “Please, no pity. She lived a good and long life before the Alzhiemers took her.”

“Are you in Japan alone?” Noah wondered. 

“No,” the older one shook his head before adjusting his glasses. “My granddaughter, Lori is around here somewhere. What brings you two to Japan?” 

Noah linked my hand in his and brough the ring up to his lips, peppering it in kisses. “We’re getting married.” 

Older Noah’s eyes lit up at the news. “Well, good for you two! I still remember seeing you two in that coffee shop so long ago. The love in your eyes when you looked at her.” 

A crimson hue covered Noah’s face and I giggled while swinging our hands together. 

“I can’t explain it,” Old Noah began while flipping through the book he always seemed to have with him. “Something told me that I’d be running into you two again and soon which is why I made sure to bring this book with me. I read it to my Allie almost every night since it was her favorite.” 

Through the hustle and bustle of the market crowd, we barely could hear the soft sob that fell from Older Noah’s lips before he continued. “Since there’s no use for it anymore, I think I’ll give it to you two as a wedding gift.” 

Noah shook his head. “We can’t. That book means a lot to you-.” 

“Nonsense,” Older Noah smiled. “Please take it. My Allie would want you to have it.”

Gently I took the old book from his shaking hands and immediately brought it to my chest. “Thank you, Noah. You barely know us but for you to trust us with something so special to you, means a lot.” 

He stuffed his hands in the pocket of his tan coat. “You two remind me of me and Allie when we were young.” 

My Noah pressed a kiss to the side of my head and pulled me into his chest. “Do you have any advice for us to make our marriage last as long as yours did?” 

Older Noah gave us a faint smile while someone from behind him waved after him, calling his name. 

“The second you stop loving each other and pretending that your love story isn't real is when one of you starts to think you’re not worthy of the other.”

Just as a young woman tapped her hand on Older Noah’s shoulder, Michael appeared next to me, almost out of breath. 

“Whatever you do, don’t ask Dove for a race. She’s way to fucking fast,” he took a large gulp of air. 

“Grandpa! You can’t just wander off like that,” the woman next to Older Noah chastised him while adjusting her red cat eye framed glasses. 

Something in the air shifted around us when Michael and the woman, who I assumed was Lori the granddaughter, caught sight of each other. I could see something change inside of Michael as his eyes lit up with something I recognized so often in Noah’s eyes. 

Tapping my Noah’s chest, I glanced over at him while Michael introduced himself to Older Noah and Lori. 

“Think we can add two more to our guest list?” I asked. 

Noah smirked. “Already two steps ahead of you, angel.”

NOAH

Hiding a yawn behind my hand, I eased back into the couch a bit more while stretching my long legs out farther. The house finally settled down, all of the girls retreating to the larger bedroom to do whatever girls did the night before a wedding while us guys were scattered throughout the living room. Joe was staying at a hotel down the road and he left a bit ago. 

Both Nick’s and Jolly were on one of the couches trying to decide on what to watch. Matt was pacing the length of the kitchen practicing his speech for tomorrow. Chase and Malcolm were in the office working on a special project for Y/N for tomorrow. Davis and Bryan were playing a card game at the kitchen table. 

Michael, however, was still out on his walk with Lori. After our encounter yesterday, they exchanged numbers and Michael asked her if she wanted to go out on a walk with him.

I was sitting on the couch with Jesse next to me as I scrolled through listings on my phone. Earlier today when Y/N and I were talking about our future after the wedding, the topic of where we would live came up. Even though we both knew Michael and Jesse would never kick us out now that we were married, Y/N felt it would be better for us as a couple if we finally had our own place together. 

So after discussing it with her and promising I wouldn’t buy another house without her permission, I had been texting her every possible listing I found. Y/N’s main concern with every single one: Is it too far from everyone? 

She knew my end goal in life, after everything settled down in Bad Omens so she understood why I kept sending her listings from far. 

"Way down the road maybe one day in the future- to live in the middle of nowhere with a dog, cats, and a family of my own. In my wooden home that I built."

Jesse shifted on the couch next to me causing me to glance over at him. “How’s Salem and Kuma?” 

“JT said they’re good. He took Kuma on a three mile run earlier so he’s currently passed out in the middle of his kitchen floor,” Jesse chuckled. 

Since most of us were in Japan, we needed someone to watch Salem and Kuma. JT immediately offered when Jesse brought it up. 

“Have you found a place yet?” He asked while motioning to my phone. 

I sighed while dropping it to my lap so I could rub out the stress from my temples. “There is one that looks promising. Has everything we need. But the neighbors are about a mile away which is a little too close for us. We envision complete solace. Is that bad?” 

He shook his head while running a hand through his unruly curls. “Not at all. It’s fine to want some privacy. I mean, it’s why you guys are thinking of moving out anyway.” 

“I know,” I nodded before showing him the listing. “It wouldn’t be so bad if one of you guys moved in next door since the house next door is for sale too so maybe I could talk Y/N into buying both so we can have extra space. I emailed the relator earlier so now it’s the waiting game. ” 

Over my laughter from my joke, I nearly missed the way Jesse let out a low hum as he clicked on the listing for the house next door. 

THIRD PERSON POV

A soft breeze blew through the bright cherry blossom stems, bringing a sense of calm to everyone who sat, patiently waiting to watch a harmony of two people becoming one. They all waited with baited breath for Y/N to emerge from the back door while Noah stood at the end of the aisle with Matt. Noah radiated nerves and did his best to keep his shaking hands hidden behind his back so he didn’t run them through his hair. It had been slicked back perfectly for the wedding and he couldn’t risk messing it up before Y/N saw it. 

Even though a lot of aspects of their wedding wasn’t traditional, Y/N still wanted to keep some parts. They hadn’t seen each other since late last night after Noah and her snuck into the bathroom for a sweet kiss goodnight. While the guys got ready, the girls went out for breakfast. When it was time for Y/N and the rest were time to get ready, all of the guys went for lunch. Anything they could to stay away from each other. Noah didn’t want to risk ruining her big moment so he did his best to stay far away from her; even if it was killing him on the inside. 

Noah was dressed in a pair of black slacks and a white button up shirt, something he didn’t wear often. On the lapels of his dress shirt were angel wings pins that connected with a golden chain. The sleeves were rolled up to his elbows, showcasing not only his tattoos but also the silver bracelet; the one that mirrored Y/N’s. 

Matt bumped his shoulder with Noah’s. “How are you feeling?” 

“Like I’m going to throw up all over my shoes,” he admitted with a staggered breath. 

“Just take deep breaths like Dr. P instructs you. It’s just Y/N, no need to be nervous,” Matt assured Noah before pressing down the front of his shirt. 

When Matt asked Y/N last night if he could still wear his hat during the ceremony, Faye immediately smacked him upside the head causing said hat to fall to the ground. 

“These are your best friends, Matthew! You’re not wearing a hat during the ceremony!” Faye chastised him. 

So now, here Matt was standing next to Noah, ready to officiate the wedding while wearing a black button up with pants to match and his blonde locks pulled back into a low bun. Faye couldn’t stop staring at him as she stood off to the side, one of Y/N’s bridesmaids. 

Astrid was the maid of honor, followed by Tay and Faye as bridesmaids. On Noah’s side it was Nicholas as the best man, given their years of friendship and history. Jesse and Joakim were the other two groomsmen. Although they had a big family, Noah and Y/N decided on keeping the bridal party small. 

The backyard was littered with vast amounts of Japanese lanterns that illuminated the space around them as the sun was beginning to set. There was a large cherry blossom tree in the yard where Noah stood, waiting for his bride. A few petals managed to fall off a branch with a sudden gust of wind and lingered on his shoulder. As he was about to brush them away, there was a soft voice that seemed to whisper in his ear, halting Noah. Just as the patio doors opened, a butterfly landed on the other shoulder and that voice from earlier spoke in his ear again. 

“Think I’d miss this?” 

Noah’s eyes snapped over to the two empty chairs in the front row. One with a picture of Y/N’s father and the other, the one that had his immediate attention, was a picture of Keaton. 

“Glad you’re here, buddy,” Noah spoke under his breath. 

The speakers that Matt had set up in the yard began to play a familiar tune; an instrumental version of You and I. Like a lot of other things in their wedding, the song that Y/N chose to walk down the aisle wasn't the typical song played at every other wedding. They wanted to be different, to show that their love was different than anyone else's. Their love story wasn’t like any told in existence or written in books. 

The clouds above in the sun kissed sky opened up to let those rays paint the figure at the end of the aisle who was flanked by Chase on one side and Malcolm on the other. Suddenly, a flash of every moment between them flashed in Noah’s eyes; the good, the bad, the private ones. Everything they’d gone through the last couple years, from the moment he stepped off the tour bus to right now. It was all worth it. 

Noah was worthy. 

Y/N was worthy. 

And now, in a matter of minutes, their bodies and souls would collide while they danced together in the moonlight as the stars aligned for them. 

The moment Noah’s eyes locked with Y/N’s, all of the breath had been stolen from his lungs. He felt frozen in a time loop, trying to gather if this was real life and he wasn't still stuck in his dreamstate. Tears welled in his eyes as he let out a choked laugh when he saw Malcolm needing a moment before they began their walk towards Noah. 

It was evident that everyone was affected in some way or another by seeing Y/N in her dress. Malcolm blew out a few deep breaths before he nodded over to Chase. 

“I’m ready.” 

Chase raised a brow. “You sure? We can wait another minute if you need.” 

Y/N’s eyes widened. “No the fuck we can’t. Noah is waiting for me.” 

She was thankful her hair was pulled back by an angel wing hair clip with only a few strands falling in her face because the heat emanating from her body brought a thin sweat to her skin. 

“Alright,” Malcolm hooked his arm with hers again. “Let’s get you married.” 

With the song still playing, all three of them took a shared breath, before they began the walk down the shortened aisle. While everyone's eyes were on her, Y/N only had eyes for one person. 

Noah. 

Who currently had tears rolling down his face and made no effort to wipe them away. On one of his shoulders was a few petals from the cherry blossom tree above him while on the other shoulder there was a pretty blue butterfly that made no effort to move. She noticed the angel wings pin on the collar of his shirt as when her gaze fell to the buckle on Noah’s belt, Y/N sucked in a breath. 

Her dad. 

Noah wore her fathers belt buckle that had his initials. Her dad only wore it on special occasions and he had it in the family for the last 30 years. 

As she walked past all of her friends, Joe gave her a wide smirk with a wink; an action that told her one thing. 

Told ya you guys would be here. 

For a brief moment, Y/N remembered how Joe was there for her when they toured together and assured her that the break between Noah and her were exactly what they needed to get to this moment. 

The invisible string that bound them together began to vibrate deep within their chests as Y/N closed the distance to Noah. All day, she’d felt sick because of the nerves that ate away at her. But now that she stood in front of him, all the worry fell to the grass beneath her feet. 

With kisses from Chase and Malcom to her cheeks, they gave Y/N away to Noah who took her hand happily. 

“Hi, angel,” he let out a giggle. 

“Hi yourself, mochi,” she blew out a shaky breath. 

One they stood across from each other, Y/N handed her bouquet of Violets over to Astrid while Faye handed her something special. 

“Before we get started, I have something for Matt,” Y/N spoke while placing a hat on top of Matt. 

The word Officiant was bold and large in white letters on the front. 

“Oh thank god,” Matt let out a long breath while adjusting the hat. 

“There’s the Matt I know and love,” Y/N smiled before linking hands with Noah again. “Alright, now marry us already because I’m dying to kiss Noah.” 

A chorus of laughter echoed in the backyard before finally settling and Matt cleared his throat. Even with the shaking of nerves from Noah, the butterfly on his shoulder didn’t falter and that’s when Y/N got a good look at the three dots on one of the wings. While Matt began his speech, a flutter of wings caught Y/N’s attention for a brief moment. A butterfly with black and yellow stripes landed on her wrist as she continued to hold Noah’s hand. She sucked in a breath when the realization hit what kind of butterfly it was. 

A Japanese Luehdorfia.

Y/N’s father spent a lot of his free time while living in Japan studying butterflies and these ones were his favorite. With the butterfly on Noah’s shoulder and the one on her wrist, the final two guests had arrived. 

“I love you,” Noah mouthed to her as Matt rambled on about how everyone has a soulmate in their life. 

Y/N squeezed his hands. “I love you more.” 

“Alright everyone knows how much I love to yap but now it’s time for Noah and Y/N to exchange their vows,” Matt smiled as he took a small step away from them to give them their own space. 

Noah cleared his throat before taking a deep breath and did his best to calm the rapid beating of his heart. 

“This is about to be long so please bear with me,” Noah jokes. 

Jesse parted his lips to say something but with a sharp glare from Tay, he snapped his mouth shut. 

“Angel, I never knew truly just how much my life would change when we got the call about us touring together. When we met, I was in a weird place in my life but never knew that in such a short amount of time that everything was going to be okay again. Every moment spent with you that summer was something I could never forget; I didn't want to forget. That was the summer I knew we'd be here, together.”

Y/N squeezed Noah’s hand, both of the butterflies still resting on them, as he continued on with his vows. Everyone realized that he wasn’t reading from something, everything he spoke came from his mind on the fly.

“There was always something that held us away from each other, whether we sucked at communicating. More so, I really sucked at communicating. Or the fear that I wasn't worthy to be loved so strongly by you. The world stopped moving when you walked out that hotel room door. Which is why I made a promise to myself never to see you walk away like that again. Everything that's happened in our lives has led us to this spot. I wrote some silly little words in a hotel room years ago "Would you say I'm worthy?" and not a day goes by where you don't find a way to show me I'm worthy of you. That bracelet on your arm where the butterfly rests, Every morning you're in my bed, every time you burst in the room to share with me an idea for a song or painting you have. After all that time, after all those tears and pain and wondering if I was worthy, I can finally say out loud that we both are worthy. I won't drown you out, and I will wait for you no matter where we are. You were my angel before, and you're my angel now and forever.”

Y/N brushed away the tears with the hand that didn’t have the butterfly resting on her. “Thank Hades for waterproof mascara.” 

With his eyes lingering on the silver chain and locket hanging around Y/N’s neck, Noah continued on. “Y/N, I spent so much time overthinking the past, where it slipped away all the time we let escape from the both of us while we tried to heal ourselves so we could be better for each other. At first I succumbed, kept myself numb while I tried to deal with the fact that I may be losing you. But I was not okay, I was not alright. How many times have I survived trying to feel like I’m alive? Never being able to change and get outside of my own head. I thought I knew that you couldn’t change me anyway but that’s where I was wrong, Angel. Because you had already changed me.”

Something shifted in the air around everyone and the butterfly on Noah’s shoulder began flapping its wings, almost like it was ready to take off. Y/N saw something ignite in the dark embers of Noah’s eyes as he spoke the final words of his vows. 

“I was a helpless mess but you stole my pain, Novocain. You made me feel alive the moment I first saw you. I know now that I no longer have to survive because now, I have something that makes living so worthy. It’s you. In time the price we pay in pain brought us eternal peace. There is no Angel without Mochi, and there is no Mochi without Angel. I look at you right here before me and the same voice that’s been with me from the first time I met you is singing that it’s all okay. Everything is okay Angel, it’s you and me until forever.”

Just as Noah finished his vows, the butterfly on his shoulder fluttered up into the air to fly around both of them before shooting up into the air. 

Swallowing thickly, Y/N adjusted her wrist to grab the papers that Astrid held out to her and yet again, the butterfly on her wrist remained unmoving. 

“How the fuck am I supposed to follow that?” She chuckled. 

“You can’t,” Noah winked. 

Playfully rolling her eyes, Y/N took a centering breath and began reading from the papers in her hands. 

“Noah, or Mochi if you will, I was stuck in an endless cycle of never knowing what love truly felt like. I spent so many days and nights wondering when I would bloom. The day I stepped off that bus and saw your face is when I started. I couldn't help myself but wonder if the look in your eyes was real or not, I was so scared you wouldn't see me for more than what everyone made me out to be. Yet you never saw that version of me that people created. You only saw me.”

“That day in the hotel when I walked out, I felt my world break. I knew at that moment it was you and only you but I was so scared I wouldn't be what you wanted or needed. I was so worried I was holding you back from the life you dreamt so heavily of because of my condition. You never saw the endometriosis, you never held those struggles against me. You love me despite all my faults.” 

“Those are not faults, Y/N,” Noah wiped a tear away from her face. 

Leaning into his palm, she pressed a tender kiss. “I know. It took a lot of sessions with Dr. Poulos for me to realize that I can't let my condition define me, shout out to her for that and put my head on straight.” 

Everyone let out a small chuckle of laughter as Older Noah watched with a faint smile on his lips because he knew how well his Allie would relate with Y/N and their shared conditions. But with his granddaughter sitting next to him, Older Noah knew that a miracle could happen for them as well. 

“I came from a broken home and was made to believe on one side that I wouldn’t get this; would get this life I created on my own and with you. I was told that no one would love me despite my condition. Not only you, Noah, but everyone here never saw me differently. You all took me in like one of your own, took Chase and Malcolm in. You all were a family but let us in on that first day of tour.” 

Bryan snapped away picture after picture, cementing these vows forever with something Y/N and Noah can look back on. Especially when the butterfly on her wrist finally moved for the first time and now rested on her abdomen while Y/N spoke the final proclamation of her love for Noah. 

“I always knew it was safer by your side and knew I just had to give it time. Chase and Malcolm always told me "if you can keep the love alive, you'll survive." It was so deep in my soul and I held on to that. Noah, from the moment I walked in your house for that party to the moment we finally admitted it was always going to be you and I. You will forever be worthy of my love. Every breath I take will be for you, from now until the last and after that, meet me in the epilogue so I can find that smile. Mochi, our stars aligned and I'll keep them there for as long as you let me.”

By now, there wasn’t a dry eye in the crowd, especially Nicholas who watched his best friend bounce on the soles of his feet. Noah was ready to kiss his bride. But first, they exchanged rings. 

“Well,” Matt cleared his throat, doing his best to mask his emotions. “We’re going to skip over the part where I ask if anyone objects because we all have been waiting for this to happen. So with that being said, by all the powers invented and by that one website, I announce you two husband and wife. Noah, for the love of the Gods, kiss your bride!”

Right as Noah reached for Y/N’s waist, the butterfly fluttered away in the same path the other had done moments ago. With a wink, Noah pulled her to his chest and brushed his lips across hers. It was slow at first, both savoring the moment as the world faded away around them, then all at once the pace increased as the invisible string between them tied the final knot to connect their souls once and for all. 

“Mrs. Sebastian,” Noah brushed his nose across Y/N’s. 

She broke out in a fit of giggles while wrapping her arms around Noah’s waist to bury her face in his chest. “About fucking time.” 

THIRD PERSON POV

The moonlight glimmered high in the sky, bathing everyone in the yard in a luminescent glow. It was well into the evening, everyone calming down from the long day of celebration. 

After the ceremony, Noah and Y/N immediately went into the house where Nicholas had his tattoo equipment set up. They each got one simple tattoo on the inside of their wrists. 

Worthy. 

Now they sat together in one of the large outdoor chairs with Y/N in his lap as Noah buried his face in her neck. His heart would not stop beating wildly in his chest because finally, after all the hell they overcame, they were finally where they were meant to be. They danced together for the first time as husband and wife to Just Pretend-Acoustic; the same version Noah sang to her the night he proposed. 

Jolly and Astrid hung off to a secluded corner of the yard while he rested a hand over her bump. She was only a few months along but now she was showing which caused Jolly to not stop wearing that bright smile. He was beyond proud of the family he created. 

Faye and Matt were in the middle of the made-up dance floor as she rambled on about all the little ideas she loved about the wedding and how she wanted their wedding to go. Matt listened intently without saying a word, simply watching his fiancé with adoration in his eyes. 

Tay was sitting with Dove, both of them giggling about something, while Jesse watched from a distance. He’d been planning things all evening in his head, mapping out his life and it was evident in the way his heart lurched in his throat when Tay continued to laugh that he was feeling an emotion that was new for him. Closing the distance between them, Jesse extended a hand towards Tay, who titled his head at him. 

“May I have this dance?” He asked as Repay by The Plot In You began playing through the speakers. 

Tay glanced over to Dove, feeling bad it was interrupting their conversation but the brunette waved her off. “If you don’t dance with your man, I’ll push you into him.” 

Once Tay was finally in Jesse’s embrace, they began to slowly move about the yard and he brushed his forehead against hers. 

“I love you,” he proclaimed for the first time. 

Tay’s eyes widened and leaned away from Jesse to get a good look in those chocolate boba eyes. “What?” 

He cupped her cheek to lay a small yet forceful kiss to her lips. “I love you so much, darlin. It’s fine if you don’t feel the same, I just needed to-.” 

“I love you too. So fucking much, Jesse. I’ve realized it for a while but was so afraid you wouldn’t feel the same yet.” 

As new love blossomed, new beginnings were starting for Michael and Lori as they sat in front of the bonfire as they divulged about themselves to each other. Bryan and Davis offered to take Older Noah back to the hotel and were booking rooms for everyone else because for the first time in a week since they first arrived, Noah and Y/N would be alone. 

“I have a surprise for you,” Y/N whispered in Noah’s ear as she continued to sit on his lap. 

“You do?” His brows peaked as his cock twitched underneath her. 

She said nothing, simply pressed a kiss to his cheek before sauntering into the house. 

READER

I shook out the nerves from my hands as I stared at myself in the bathroom mirror. The white lace stood out against my complexion and I double checked to make sure my breasts were pressed up perfectly. Turning to the side slightly, I peaked at my ass that was barely covered by the end of the lingerie. When I found it in the store a few weeks ago, I knew immediately I had to buy it from the angel wings alone. 

I never wore anything like this for Noah before which is why I was extremely nervous. While our sex life was extraordinary, I was still very unsure on how he felt about me dressing up in something like this. 

“Stop being a pussy!” I pointed at my reflection. “You’re hot. You married THE Noah Sebastian!” 

I quickly shook my head. “No, he married THE Y/N L/N, well now Sebastian. But that’s beside the point. You are going to bring this man to his knees. He loves you and would fuck you even if you wore a potato sack.” 

Realizing I was still rambling to myself, I shook my head and quickly spritzed myself with my perfume; Noah’s new favorite of mine that smelled like peaches. Fluffing out my hair, I gave my reflection a curt nod before flipping off the lights and stepping out of the bathroom. The house was quiet, only the floor creaking beneath my feet as I crossed the hallway into the bedroom Noah and I dubbed ours. We decided to make my dads bedroom the new office, the old office our bedroom, and still keep the guest room the same. 

As I walked into the bedroom, I saw Noah sitting on the end of the bed with his gaze down on the floor between his feet. He’d changed out of his wedding attire and wore only a pair of red briefs. His shoulders rose and fell with each deep breath as his hair dangled in his face but made no effort to brush it away. When he played with the new black band around his ring finger, I took in the sight of the new tattoo on the inside of his wrist, the same one I had. 

Worthy. 

Clearing my throat, I stood a few inches in front of Noah with my hands behind my back, trying hard not to knock into the ends of the angel wings. His head snapped up from the floor and when they landed on my form, his pupils bled darkness. 

“Uh, do you like it?” I shifted on my feet, waiting for his answer. 

Noah was still silent, only keeping his eyes on my breasts that were barely hidden underneath the white lace. He made no move towards me which made me start to second guess this idea. 

“This was stupid,” I muttered before turning on my heels. 

A hand shot out to grasp my hand, halting me, and when I glanced back I saw Noah staring up at me. 

“You’re a literal fucking angel,” he mused before yanking me down to his lap. 

The head of his cock pressed against the thin material of his briefs and I bit back a moan when I felt it brush along my core. 

“My angel,” Noah praised while fingering the end of the wings. “Keep these on.” 

I raised a brow at him while brushing away the hair from his face. “The wings doing it for you, Mochi? Do you want to chase me through the woods while you wear your mask and fuck me with them on?” 

“Don’t tempt me,” he groaned while dragging his teeth over my collar bone. 

With his hands on my hips, Noah guided me along his cock as I let my head fall back in bliss. I’d been wound up all week due to us deciding not to be sexual with each other and knew that if he even breathed on my clit, I would orgasm. 

I gently pushed him away from me to lay him down on the bed while I fell to my knees between his legs. 

“Oh fuck,” Noah ground out while letting his head fall to the bed as I dragged his briefs down the length of his thick legs. 

My lips parted over the leaking head of his cock with my fingers wrapping around the base. I hummed in pure delight as the salty taste lingered on my lips when I sank my mouth down on him. 

"So good," I praised looking up at him through my lashes

He groaned with pleasure as I took my time with him. I wanted to savor the way he always tasted. 

"Angel," Noah warned. “Please. I need you."

I popped off of him and wiped away the drool from my chin as I rose to my feet slowly. "Is Noah Sebastian begging?"

“For my wife? Yes I am.”

"Well, who am I to make you wait," I straddled his hips once again. 

Neither of us wanted to wait any longer so he undone the buttons of the lingerie teddy to expose my bare cunt to his awaiting cock. His eyes snapped up to me for a moment so I gave him a nod right before he guided himself past my wetness, the thickness of his cock filling me completely. It pulsed inside of me, earning a desperate groan.

Noah's eyes fluttered shut as his lips parted, his hands gripping my hips so tight I was sure there would be bruises in the morning. But I didn't care. Having him finally inside of me felt so fucking good.

Having my husband inside of me made my soul come alive. 

I rocked my hips against him with my swollen clit rubbing against his warm stomach and I shivered at the sensation, the coil in my stomach pulling taut. Noah’s eyes jumped to the silver chain around my neck and gripped it with force to pull my lips down to his, devouring me 

“Mine,” Noah demanded while fucking up into me. 

I let out a silent yell when he hit the spot that made my spine ignite but the chain tightened around my throat, nearly cutting off my airway. 

“Say it,” he panted. “Say your mine, Y/N.” 

“I’m yours, Noah. Forever yours.” 

He attacked my lips with so much force I had to rest a hand on his chest, our tongues exploring each other's mouths in a kiss so vicious it made my head spin. Noah's hips finally moved in a slow, steady stroke, and I whined into the kiss.

"More," I mumbled into his lips.

"Fuck, angel." He groaned. "It's too good."

I cupped his face to look at him. "Cum for me, Noah. Fill me up, please. I need you to cum with me.” 

That's all he needed before his arms wrapped around my back, nearly crushing the angel wings,  pulling me closer to his chest as his hips snapped up into me in violent strokes, the head of his cock hitting that perfect spot. I yelled out my pleasure, exposing my neck to Noah who immediately attacked it with his teeth leaving bite marks all along it.

My body hummed in a prayer-like awaking, the flames and heat burning high in my belly as my organs crested higher; so fucking high I was afraid I would combust into nothing but a matter of air. His name fell from my lips in devotion, a woman praying to her husband, and my toes curled when I finally came apart, Noah slowly falling behind me. 

THIRD PERSON POV

As Y/N and Noah lay together in a mess of tangled limbs, both coming down from their shared high, he let the sounds of her deep breathing ease him into his own slumber. Her discarded lingerie and wings lay scattered on the ground and Noah made a mental note of asking Y/N on how she felt about hanging them up in their home. 

He couldn’t stop watching her sleep with a smile that no one could erase. She was his. Finally Y/N was his wife and he would do whatever he could to make her happy. 

Long fingers dragged up and down the snake tattoo on her back, almost like how he had the night they first lay together. The long day was coming to an end, the new chapter of their lives began tomorrow, which caused Noah to sweat all over because he couldn’t help but let the anxious thoughts creep in.

Take a breath, Noah. It’s okay. 

Doing just that, he eased into the warmth Y/N proved and rested a hand on her stomach, finally letting himself succumb to the darkness. 

“Love you, mochi,” she mumbled into the skin of his chest. 

He kissed her forehead. “Love you more, angel.”

The rain that surrounded them in the beginning was no longer something that drowned them. It couldn’t rain all the time. Their love was forever unbroken. It created lines upon lines of memories, some old and some new. It brought about friendships that tied together as one family. All because of a miracle that had yet to present itself. They were no longer afraid of the wars that were waged against their sins. They weren’t okay in the beginning but their love proved that they no longer had to pretend. They waited each other out and Y/N would forever stay until morning. 

All because they both were worthy.

[lonelydragonlady]

Okay…the way he runs his hand up the neck of that bass guitar is doing something to my body that I can’t explain.

I'm so fucking down bad for him.

[lonelydragonlady]

The Northern Lights from central Illinois taken with iPhone 13 on 10 second exposure. So beautiful. This is the second time this year they have been this bright.

[lonelydragonlady]

An open letter to Noah.

Noah,

I know that the temptation to cut your hair is strong right now. You’re in an awkward in between stage. You’re probably thinking to yourself “it looks like a mullet” and you’re not wrong. But I promise you, STAY THE COURSE. BE STRONG. RESIST. It will come out the other side and look fabulous again. I promise. You just have to stay away from the scissors for a little bit longer. Please for the love of all the you hold dear. I’m begging you. DON’T CUT YOUR HAIR.

[lonelydragonlady]

Same set, same bed, just dressed differently. Noah and Jesse. Photography by Bryan Kirks.

[lonelydragonlady]

“You want to act like a brat? Then I’ll treat you like one.”

summary. you’d been pissing noah off all night before his performance, taunting him right before he had to go on stage. what you forgot is that the tour bus would be empty for the night, leaving him alone with you to dish out punishments for your behaviour.

TW. 18+ mdni mean!noah. punishment but it’s rlly just smut. brat taming. hair pulling, choking if you squint. aftercare ofc. degrading. lmk if i missed any!

As soon as the two of you step into the tour bus, the door barely closes behind you before Noah grabs you by the waist, spins you around, and pushes you roughly against the sofa. The suddenness takes your breath away, but the tension that’s been building between you all night finally snaps. His body pins yours down, chest to chest, and his eyes flash with something dark and dangerous.

“Think you’re funny, don’t you?” he growls, his hand already gripping the back of your neck, holding you in place. “Bratty little act all night, teasing me in front of everyone like I wouldn’t do something about it?”

Before you can respond, he forces you down into the cushions, leaning in close so his breath is hot against your ear. His hands roam your body with a kind of restrained violence, fingers gripping hard as he pulls you tighter against him. His lips brush your neck, his voice dripping with mockery.

“You’ve been asking for this, haven’t you?” His hand slides down to your hip, squeezing hard, as he presses himself firmly against you, making sure you can feel every inch of how much you’ve wound him up. “Thought I’d just let it slide? After everything you pulled tonight?”

You open your mouth to retort, but he’s quicker. His hand is suddenly at your throat, not choking but keeping you still as he smirks down at you. “Not so talkative now, are you?” he taunts, his thumb brushing along your jawline before squeezing just enough to make your breath hitch. His eyes glint with amusement as he watches you squirm, clearly relishing in the control he has over you.

His lips crash against yours without warning, rough and punishing, like he’s trying to prove a point. His teeth nip at your bottom lip, tugging hard enough to make you whimper. He chuckles darkly against your mouth, pulling away just enough to look you in the eyes.

“You want to act like a brat? Then I’ll treat you like one.”

Noah’s grip on your throat tightens slightly, just enough to keep you in place as his free hand moves lower, grabbing your waist and pulling your body flush against his. The heat between you is immediate, and you can feel how much restraint he’s been holding back all night. His lips brush yours again, but he pulls back just before you can deepen the kiss, a mocking grin spreading across his face.

“Oh, you want it now, don’t you?” he teases, his voice dripping with arrogance. “Too bad. You’ll get it when I say so.”

He shifts his weight, pressing you harder into the sofa, his knee wedging between your thighs, making it impossible for you to move. You try to push against him, but he doesn’t budge, his eyes daring you to try again. When you do, his hand tightens its grip on your waist, fingers digging in painfully, and he leans down, lips hovering over your ear.

“You’ve been teasing me all night,” he growls, his voice low and dangerous. “Rubbing up against me backstage, giving me those bratty little looks in front of everyone. You think I wouldn’t notice? Think I wouldn’t do something about it?”

His teeth graze the sensitive skin of your neck, biting down just hard enough to send a sharp jolt of pain mixed with pleasure. You can’t help the small moan that escapes your lips, and that only makes his smirk grow wider.

“See? You like it rough, don’t you? Couldn’t just behave, had to push me.” He pulls back slightly, his eyes dark with desire as he watches you squirm beneath him. “Now you’re gonna pay for it.”

With one swift motion, Noah yanks your shirt up over your head, tossing it aside carelessly. His eyes rake over your body, the intensity of his gaze sending a thrill through you. His hand moves from your waist to your chest, fingers curling around the fabric of your bra as he tugs it down roughly, exposing you completely to him.

“Look at you,” he mutters, more to himself than to you, his voice low and rough. “So fucking gorgeous.”

Before you can say anything, his mouth is on you, lips and teeth leaving a trail of bruises down your neck and chest. His touch is anything but gentle, every movement designed to remind you who’s in control. His hand slides up your thigh, fingers digging into your skin as he teases the edge of your skirt, but he doesn’t go any further. Not yet.

He pulls back, just enough to look at you again, that wicked smirk still playing on his lips as he takes in the sight of you beneath him. His hands grip your hips, holding you firmly in place as he leans down, his lips brushing against your ear.

“Tell me,” he murmurs, his voice dark and commanding, “was it worth it? Being a little brat all night? Do you like how this feels?”

You can barely form words, your mind clouded with the heat of the moment, but that’s exactly what he wants. Noah’s grip on you tightens, and he chuckles lowly as he sees the effect he’s having on you.

A small part of you wants to fight back, to prove that you’re not completely at his mercy, but the rest of you is lost to the sensations he’s igniting in your body. His eyes are dark, filled with a hunger that makes your pulse race.

“I asked you a question,” he says, his voice harsh and demanding. He tugs at your hair, forcing your head back, making you look at him. “Answer me.”

“I-I-“

Noah sneers at your stammering response, clearly unimpressed. “Is that all you’ve got?” he mocks, his tone dripping with derision. “A simple question and you can’t even form a proper answer?”

He tightens his grip on your hair, pulling your head back further, making you gasp as a sharp jolt of pain courses through you. “Look at you,” he continues, his voice a low growl. “Such a mess when you’re like this. So desperate and needy.”

The heat in his gaze only amplifies your confusion, the thrill of submission battling with your instinct to resist.

“You’re pathetic,” he says, his words biting and cruel. “Can’t even control yourself when I’m around. Pathetic and desperate.” His hand tightens around your hair again, pulling harder, making you whimper at the pain. “You like this, don’t you?” he sneers, his tone rough and dominant. “Being at my mercy, at my command. You never had a chance of resisting.”

The way he looks at you, the intensity in his eyes, makes your heart race, and despite the humiliation, a thrill courses through you. You’re caught in the exhilarating mix of pain and pleasure, knowing he’s right—even if it stings to admit it. He sees the shift in your expression, the reluctant acknowledgment of what he’s saying, and his smirk widens. He chuckles lowly, his fingers tightening in your hair, pulling you closer to him.

Noah’s smirk turns into a condescending sneer as he looks down at you, his gaze filled with mockery. “Look at you, desperate little thing,” he mocks, his voice dripping with scorn. “So needy for me, can’t even control yourself.”

He leans in closer, his breath hot against your ear. “What’s the matter? Can’t handle the truth?” His laughter is low and mocking, sending a shiver through you. “You’re a mess, and you love every second of it.”

With a rough tug, he pulls your head back, forcing you to meet his gaze. “You think you can hide it? I can see how much you crave this. How much you want to be at my mercy.” His fingers dig deeper into your scalp, and you can’t help but let out another whimper.

“Pathetic,” he repeats, letting the word linger in the air. “You think you’re tough, but look at you now—completely undone.” He takes a moment to drink in the sight of you, reveling in your vulnerability. “I bet you’d do anything for just a little more, wouldn’t you?”

You can feel the heat creeping up your cheeks, embarrassment mixing with something more intoxicating. The way he’s mocking you only heightens your need, and Noah knows it. He leans closer, his lips brushing against your skin as he whispers, “Just admit it—you love being my little brat.”

Each word is a taunt, a reminder of how completely he’s got you wrapped around his finger, and you can’t deny the thrill that comes with it.

As he pulls your head back further, forcing you to look at him directly, you feel a mix of humiliation and excitement coursing through you. His gaze is intense, filled with mockery and disdain, but it only serves to fuel your yearning. You want to resist, to prove that you aren’t as desperate as he thinks, but the way he’s talking to you, the way he’s dominating you, it’s impossible to deny the truth.

Every time he mocks you, every time he calls you pathetic, it cuts through you, but it also ignites a fire inside you that you can’t deny. You’re torn between the desire to fight back and the need to submit, to give him what he wants. “I-I’m not,” you breathe out, trying to sound defiant, but your voice betrays you, quivering with vulnerability.

Noah laughs at your weak attempt to resist, the sound rough and condescending. “Oh, you’re not?” he sneers, his tone dripping with mockery. “Is that right?”

His fingers tighten in your hair, pulling harder, making you gasp and wince from the pain. “You’re not desperate. You’re not needy. You’re not falling apart right now at my mercy.” His voice is laced with derision, mocking your words with sarcasm.

He leans in closer, his lips almost touching your ear, and his voice is a low, taunting whisper. “Pathetic little thing. Can’t even be honest with yourself. Look at you, trying so hard to prove you’re not helpless.”

The way he emphasizes “pathetic” sends a jolt through you, and you find yourself wanting to squirm under his grip. It’s infuriating and intoxicating all at once. You can feel the heat rising in your cheeks, the shame mixing with a thrill that only he can provoke.

“Admit it,” he continues, his voice a seductive growl. “You love being like this. You crave it. You want me to take control.” He releases your hair just enough for you to breathe but keeps you close, his eyes locked onto yours, challenging you to deny it.

Your heart races as the truth hangs heavy in the air, and the fight in you wanes. “Maybe…” you start, but the word barely escapes your lips, filled with uncertainty.

“Maybe?” he scoffs, tilting his head, a condescending grin spreading across his face. “You can do better than that. I want to hear you say it.”

There’s a dangerous glint in his eyes, and you realize he’s not going to let you off easy. The thrill of submission floods through you, and with a shaky breath, you find yourself on the edge of surrender.

You can feel your resistance unraveling, the fight in you slowly giving way to submission. It’s embarrassing, knowing how much power he has over you, and yet you can’t deny the rush it gives you.

“Please,” you say, your voice a shaky whisper, and you can feel the heat of embarrassment on your cheeks. He’s watching you intently, waiting for another response. He wants to hear you say it, to admit how much you need him, but you’re struggling with the words.

He smirks at your response, knowing you’re holding back. “Please, what, doll?” he mocks, his tone condescending and taunting. “Use your words. Tell me what you want.”

You’re practically trembling with a mix of humiliation and desire. You need to say it, to acknowledge your own neediness, but the words catch in your throat. It’s so shameful, yet the thought of submitting to him, of being completely at his mercy, makes your heart race even faster.

Noah can see the conflict etched on your face, and his smirk only widens. He knows you’re on the verge of admitting it, but he’s not going to make it easy for you. He wants you to crawl, to beg. “Come on, little one,” he mocks, his voice a low and seductive purr. “Say it.”

You’re so torn. You want to resist, to fight back and prove him wrong, but at the same time, you know deep down that you crave this. Need this. The words are on the tip of your tongue, the truth of your submissive nature right there, but it’s still hard to admit aloud. You look at him, the heat in your cheeks making you feel exposed, and a small whimper escapes your lips. “I-I…I want…”

He leans forward, his breath hot on your skin as he mocks you. “You want what?” he eggs you on, his voice rough and commanding. “Come on, use your words. Don’t be shy now. Tell me exactly what you need.”

The heat in your cheeks intensifies, and the shame and excitement mix, creating a potent cocktail that makes your head spin. “I…I need you,” you whisper, the words shaky and laced with embarrassment. “I need you to take control.” The confession hangs in the air, the truth of your submission exposed, and you can feel it in your bones, the way your body responds to his dominance.

Noah's smirk widens as he hears the words he's been waiting for. He sees the mixture of surrender and humiliation in your eyes, and it only fuels his desire for control. He lets out a low, mocking chuckle before pulling you closer. “There it is,” he says, his voice rough and taunting. “That wasn’t so hard, was it, pretty girl?”

You shiver at the tone in his voice, the realization that he has you completely at his mercy. The mixture of emotions swirling inside you is a heady cocktail of shame, excitement, and an undeniable need for more. You can feel the heat of his presence as he pulls you closer, his mockery and mockery only fueling the fire within you.

With a smug smirk, Noah holds you close, almost tenderly, his touch so different from moments before. “Poor thing,” he coos, his voice dripping with mock comfort. “All worked up and needy. Is that what you wanted, princess?”

The gentle tone catches you off guard, his touch sending a shiver through you. “N-no…I didn’t-“ you stutter, but your weak protest is obvious.

“Shhh,” he hushes, still holding you tight. “Don’t lie to me now. We both know the truth.” He lets his hand trail down your back, his touch so gentle and deceivingly comforting.

His eyes are locked on yours, watching your every reaction. He’s playing with you, and you both know it. The way he’s holding you, the touch of his hand against your back, it’s like a cruel game. You can feel the heat in your cheeks, the shame and excitement mixing into a dangerous cocktail.

“I wasn’t-“ you try to protest again, but the words die in your throat as you meet his gaze. He’s watching you, like a predator sizing up its prey, waiting for the opportune moment to strike.

Noah continues the charade, his voice dripping with false concern. “It’s alright, sweetheart,” he coos, his other hand coming up to caress your face. “You don’t need to lie to me.” He looks at you, his gaze intense, searching. He knows he’s got you, knows you have nowhere to hide. “Just tell me the truth,” he murmurs, his thumb tracing your bottom lip. “Did you do it on purpose?”

The softness of his touch, the way he’s holding you, it’s maddening, drawing you in. You want to deny it, want to push back against the tidal wave of desire and submission that’s washing over you.

“I-“ you start, but the words fail you, caught in the storm of your conflicted emotions. It’s all so confusing, his sweetness and his mockery mixing together in a dangerous, intoxicating cocktail. “Yes…” you eventually force out, your voice a hushed whisper.

Noah's eyes darken, and his grip on you tightens slightly. There it is, the moment he’s been waiting for. He knew you did it on purpose, and now he has you admitting it out loud. “Good girl,” he drawls, his voice suddenly rougher, more commanding. “At least you can admit what a desperate little thing you are.”

The change in his tone hits you like a punch to the stomach. The switch is so sudden, so stark, it takes you completely off guard. You’re still reeling, trying to process the swift shift, but he’s already moving on.

His mockery cuts through you, a cold reminder of your exposed vulnerability. “You just couldn’t help yourself, could you?” he mocks, his hand moving down to firmly grip your chin, forcing you to look directly at him. “Needy and shameless, you just had to push me, didn’t you?”

Tears well up in your eyes, your bottom lip quivering as you look up at him with wide, tearful eyes. You feel small and vulnerable under his intense gaze, and the shame and excitement mix in your stomach, creating a powerful mixture of longing and trepidation.

“Oh, look at you,” he purrs, a predatory smile spreading across his face. “All big eyes and teary. But don’t think you’re going to get off easy just because you look pretty when you cry."

His eyes dark and dangerous, he leans in closer, the heat of his body pressing against yours. “You teased me back there, made me all worked up, and then you lied to me about it. Did you think I was just going to let you get away with that?”

"P-please...I'm sorry...I didn't...I won't do it again...I-“ You're a mess of blubbery whines and stuttered apologies, the tears flowing freely down your cheeks. It's humiliating, being so small and defenseless under his gaze, and yet you can't deny the submissive thrill of it all.

He holds you tight, his hand still on your chin, forcing you to look up at him. There’s a smirk on his face, a look of victory, as he mock-comforts you. “There, there, little one,” he says, his voice dripping with condescension. “I know you didn’t mean it. You’re just a needy little thing, aren’t you?”

The way he’s talking to you, coddling you like a child, it’s infuriating but it only makes the heat in your stomach burn hotter. You want to protest, to defend yourself, but the tears and blubbering make you weaker than ever, and you know he’s enjoying every minute of it.

“Oh, sweet girl, don’t cry,” he mocks, his voice deceptively gentle. “But maybe I should teach you a lesson. Wouldn’t that be fair, to show you what happens when you tease me like that?”

The threat in those words sends a shiver down your spine, a mix of fear and excitement twisting in your gut. You’re too vulnerable like this, and you know he’s going to exploit it to the fullest.

“Is that what you want, doll?” he coos, his fingers loosening their grip just enough to let a tear slide down your cheek. “You want me to show you what happens when you drive me crazy like that, when you push and push until I snap?”

You whimper lowly, unable to form a coherent response as you blink up at him through a haze of tears. Maybe you do want it, crave it even, the thought of being completely at his mercy both terrifying and thrilling.

His smirk widens at your helpless response, the realization that he has you completely under his sway. “That’s what I thought,” he says, his voice now deeper, darker. “You’re just begging for someone to put you in your place, aren’t you, pretty little thing?”

The condescension in his tone only serves to make you weaker, and you let out a soft, pathetic whine, your body trembling under his gaze. “I’ll be good, I swear,” you manage to whisper, your voice hoarse from crying. He chuckles darkly, his eyes boring into yours. “Oh, I know you will be,” he says, his voice low and dangerous. “But it’s a little late for that now, isn’t it?”

With an effortless display of strength, he pushes you back against the sofa, pinning you in place with his body. His hand leaves your chin to trail down your throat, his touch like a caress and a threat all at once. “I told you not to tease me,” he murmurs, his breath hot on your skin. “But you just had to do it, didn’t you? Had to test my patience, to see how far you could push me.”

You're a mess, a whiny blabbering mess, and you struggle to control the sounds of helplessness that leave your mouth. The words "I'm sorry" and "please" and "I didn't mean to" mix with pathetic sobs and moans, each one more pitiful than the last. You can't even look up at him, so you just keep repeating those words, desperate to make him see that you regret disobeying him. The tears won’t stop, and the shame of your behavior, the pleading and begging, only makes them stream faster. You’re completely at his mercy, a vulnerable, fragile thing that he can mold however he sees fit. It’s mortifying, and yet somehow exciting, the knowledge that he has this power over you, that he can bring you to this point of surrender.

"Don’t cry, doll," he murmurs, his hand moving back to your chin to force you to look up at him. "Just listen. Just take it like a good girl." His voice is rough, not quite mocking or gentle. It’s something else, something possessive and dominant, that makes your stomach twist in knots. “You brought this on yourself,” he continues, his gaze intense. “You had to push and push until I couldn’t take it anymore. I warned you, didn’t I?”

You nod helplessly, the tears still falling, your voice reduced to little more than a broken whisper. "I-I'm sorry," you repeat, your words punctuated by sniffles. You're completely overwhelmed, the mixture of shame and desire leaving you a shaking, blabbering mess.

His hand tightens on your chin, his gaze narrowing. He enjoys seeing you like this, so low and vulnerable, reduced to a puddle of tears and apologies. “I know you’re sorry,” he says, his voice a low rumble. “But I’m not sure it’s enough, pretty girl. I think you need a bit more of a lesson.”

Your eyes widen at his words, the realization that he’s not going to let this go, that he’s going to push you further than you’ve ever gone before. You open your mouth to speak, more apologies on your lips, but he cuts you off, his grip on your chin tightening.

“Shhh,” he hisses, his voice mocking and cruel. “No more excuses. You’ve already begged enough, angel. Take it like a good little girl.”

The humiliation is overwhelming, the way he’s holding you, the condescension in his voice. “Please…” you whimper, the word escaping before you can stop it. “I can’t…I’m sorry…”

He scoffs at your plea, his grip on your chin growing tighter. “I don’t care,” he snaps, his voice cold and dismissive. “This is what you wanted, isn’t it? To be pushed, to be broken down until you’re a whimpering mess under my hands?” You nod helplessly, unable to deny the truth of his words. You had wanted this, craved it even, and now you’re getting your lesson, whether you’re ready or not. He smirks, satisfied with your response. “That’s what I thought,” he says, his tone cruel. “Now be a good little girl and take it.”

Your words are caught in your throat, but you can only nod again, your body trembling with a mixture of shame and desire. You know he’s not going to stop, that he’s going to push you to your limits and then some.

His hand moves from your chin to your hip, his fingers finding the edge of your skirt. He tugs at it teasingly, a cruel smile playing on his lips. “No panties, huh? Dirty girl. You’ve been planning this, haven’t you?” His hand moves around to your behind, squeezing it roughly before he slips his fingers under the hem, touching your bare skin.

“No wonder you’ve been so needy and pathetic, doll. You’ve been waiting for hours for this, just hoping I’d pin you down and give you what you need, yeah? But you had to push my buttons and misbehave, didn’t you?”

His voice is firm, his fingers still digging into your flesh. “You couldn’t just wait like a good little girl. No, you had to be bad, pushing and pushing until I finally snap.”

The feeling of his hand on your bare skin makes you shiver, and a pathetic whine leaves your lips as the tears continue to fall. “I-I’m sorry,” you stammer, your voice weak and broken. “I didn’t mean to…sorry, please I didn’t, I’m sorry.”

He silences you with one look, his fingers gripping your chin again. “I told you to stop apologizing,” he snaps, his tone harsh. “You’re not going to sweet-talk your way out of this one, little one.” The command in his voice makes you weak, the fear and shame mixing with the longing in your stomach.

You nod as best you can, trying to communicate your understanding through the tears. “Please,” you whisper, so soft it’s not even a word, more like a pitiful whine. His grip on your chin tightens, his eyes narrowing. “What was that?” he says, his voice soft and dangerous. “Speak up, angel, unless you want me to punish you for mouthing off too.”

You shake your head wordlessly, your eyes wide and pleading, begging him to understand that you only want to please him. “No, no, I’m sorry,” you manage to gasp out, your voice weak but sincere. “Please, I’ll be quiet.”

He sighs, the sound both annoyed and exasperated. Your pleas and apologies are irritating him, and he’s done with the tears and blubbering. “Enough,” he barks, his fingers releasing your chin. “Bend over. Now. Against the sofa.”

The command is sharp and authoritative, and you know better than to disobey. You shuffle around awkwardly, your heart racing as you bend forward, your hands gripping the back of the sofa. The position feels vulnerable, exposing, and your back is arching in anticipation.

“That’s it, doll,” Noah says, his voice gruff. “Good girl. Stay right there. Keep that pretty little ass up for me.” You hear him moving behind you, the sound of rustling fabric and something clinking. The sound of his belt undoing is unmistakable, the leather sliding through the loops with a harsh sound. It makes you shiver, fear and excitement coiling in your stomach.

His hand smooths over your back, caressing the curve of your behind before he smacks it lightly, a warning and a tease all at once. “Be good for me,” he says, his voice a dark rumble. “Stay just like that.” You nod, unable to speak, and brace yourself for what’s to come, the mixture of emotions swirling inside you. The anticipation hangs in the air like a thick fog, every nerve in your body alive and on edge.

His hand leaves your skin, and you can only imagine what he’s doing behind you, the sound of the leather of his belt moving the only hint of his actions. Then you feel his hand on your thigh, gripping you, positioning you exactly how he wants. “You know how this works,” he murmurs, his voice laced with warning. “You push, I push back harder. You misbehave, you get punished. You get that, doll?” You nod again, your head resting against the sofa cushion, the fabric cool against your heated skin. “Yes,” you manage to whisper, the shame and humiliation mixing with the excitement coursing through you. “I understand.”

“Good girl,” he says, his hand moving higher up your thigh. “And you remember your safe words?” You nod weakly. “Yes,” you reply, your voice shaky. “Red to stop, yellow to pause, green to go.”

He hums in approval, his fingers toying with the edge of your skirt, slowly lifting it up, exposing more of your skin. “Good girl,” he repeats, his voice a low praise. “You’re going to need them. Now close your eyes.” You blink in surprise at the words, but you obey, closing your eyes tightly, the world going dark. The lack of sight makes everything more heightened, the anticipation building, your breathing fast and ragged.

The silence is filled with the sound of your own breathing, the rustle of fabric, and the occasional thump of something being dropped onto the floor. You’re painfully aware of his presence behind you, the heat rolling off him in waves. Then you feel it, the cold leather of his belt running along your thighs, tracing a path up and down, teasing but not touching where you want it to. The anticipation is almost overwhelming, your body thrumming like a wire about to snap. “Please…” you whisper, the word slipping out before you can stop it.

You hear him tsk behind you, the sound of disapproval. “I don’t think you’ve learned your lesson yet, angel.” His hand lands on your hip, squeezing it roughly, a silent command to be quiet. “You’ll get what you need when I say so, doll,” he growls, his voice taking on that authoritative tone again. “Be patient.”

The touch of the belt disappears, and you wait in tense silence, wondering what he’s going to do next. Then you feel it, a hard smack on your behind, the sensation sharp and unexpected. The pain stings, and you whimper, the sound coming out before you can stop it. “Shhh,” Noah says, his tone harsh. “Just take what I give you.”

“And keep. Those. Eyes. Closed.” The command is punctuated with another smack, harder this time, and the sting spreads across your skin. “Colour.”

“G-green,” you manage to stutter out, the word a gasp. “Good,” he says, his hand caressing where he spanked you. “Good girl,” he says, the praise sending a shiver down your spine. “Now you’re being such a good little thing.” His fingers trail up your legs, his touch light and teasing. “You can take more, princess. You’ll take as much as I give you.”

The words send a wave of pleasure mixed with fear through you, the duality of the moment making your head spin. You press your face into the fabric of the sofa, trying to stay still, to be good, to take what you’re given. “Y-yes,” you whisper, your voice shaky. “Yes, what?” he asks, his voice sharp. There’s a pause, the anticipation hanging heavy in the air, the only sound your ragged breathing and the pounding of your heart. “Say it proper, doll.”“Y-yes, sir,” you manage to say, your voice meek and submissive. “I’ll take what you give me, sir. I’ll be good, I’ll take it all.”

“Look at you.” His voice is a rough rumble, edged with mockery and condescension. “Already completely submitting after a couple of spanks, and I haven’t even touched you where it counts. Such a pathetic little girl, willing to take whatever I give you, desperate for anything I’ll give you.” He moves closer to you, the heat of his body almost touching your own. His hand tangles in your hair, tugging at it roughly, pulling your head back to look up at him. “Just a little brat, so easy to put in her place.”

“Is that all it takes, princess?” he murmurs, his voice dropping lower. “Some harsh words and a few spanks and you’re just ready to give me everything, huh?” You nod as best you can, your hair still clenched in his grip. “Y-yes,” you gasp out, your voice low and shaky. “I’ll give you anything, sir,” you whisper, the words leaving your mouth before you can stop them. “Anything, huh?” he says, his grip tightening in your hair. “That’s quite a claim, pretty girl. Are you sure you can follow through?”

“Yes sir,” you gasp out, the pain in your hair mixing with the pleasure and shame. “I’ll be good, I’ll do whatever you say. Please,” you add, your voice pleading. A cruel laugh tears from his throat, the sound sending a shiver down your spine. He’s enjoying your submission too much, relishing in his control over you. “Anything I say, huh?” He hums, the sound condescending. “That’s a dangerous promise, little one.” His hold on your hair tightens, pulling you even further back. You can see the smug look on his face, his eyes looking down at you. “Are you sure you can handle it, doll?” he purrs. “You’re not going to break on me, are you?” He mocks you with his tone, the words dripping with mockery. “Answer me,” he snaps, giving your hair a sharp tug.

“I …I won’t break.” You manage to gasp out, though your voice is small, shaky. You feel like you’re drowning, completely at his mercy, his control over you absolute.

“We’ll see about that,” he says, his tone dark, still laced with mockery. “You’re going to take everything I give you, just like you promised, right?” His hand lets go of your hair, and for a moment, you’re left feeling lost, abandoned. Then he gently pushes you forward, your bare skin against the cool leather of the sofa. “Stay right there. Don’t move,” he commands.

You keep your body braced on the sofa, your cheek pressed into the fabric. You can hear him moving behind you, the sound of his boots moving across the floor. Your heart pounds in your chest, the anticipation and fear building. Then he’s back, his presence behind you stronger than before. There’s a moment of silence that is almost unbearable, the tension in the air heavy and thick. Finally, he speaks, his voice coming from above you. “Lift your hips up,” he says, his tone a command. You obey, lifting your hips up as best as you can. The fabric of your skirt bunches up around your waist, exposing your bare skin to the cool air. You feel vulnerable, exposed, and helpless.

You hear him draw in a sharp breath, the sound sending a jolt through you. “That’s a good girl,” he murmurs, his voice rough. “Look at you, so eager and desperate.”

“Such a needy little thing,” he continues, his voice a low rumble. “So willing to do anything I say, just to get my attention.” His hand comes down on your skin, a hard smack that leaves a burning trail behind. “Isn’t that right?” he adds, his tone sharp. “So desperate to be good, so eager to please.”

“Yes sir,” you gasp, the words coming out in a ragged breath. “I’ll be good, I’ll do anything you say. Please,” you add, the word falling from your lips before you can think about it. He raises an eyebrow, the action condescending and mocking. “Big statement for a little brat,” he murmurs, the words a challenge. “Let’s see if you can live up to it.”

He pauses, the silence stretching out between you. You can feel his eyes raking over your body, taking in every detail, every flaw. “Because I have a feeling,” he continues, his tone low and dangerous. “That you’re all talk, and no action.”

He moves behind you, the sound of him removing his clothes the only thing echoing through the space. His hands are gentle on your skin, the action almost a contradiction to his rough demeanor. “Lift your hips up a bit more for me, doll” he instructs, his voice a gentle command.

You obey, raising your hips higher as he positions himself behind you. There’s a rustling sound as he reaches for something, a moment of silence before you feel the cool touch of lube on your skin. It’s a gentle sensation, a stark contrast to the harshness of his words. He slicks his fingers, the motion firm and purposeful. The whole situation is a strange mix of gentleness and control, a constant reminder of who’s in charge. “Shhh,” he says, his tone soft for a change. “Just a bit of cold, doll.”

The words are a comfort, a slight reprieve from his harsh tone before. You let out a soft whimper, your body tense under his touch. Your hands clutch at the sofa cushion, the fabric bunched in your grip. “Just relax for me, okay?” he adds, his voice gentle but still holding that hint of command. “I’m just getting you ready, princess.”

His slick fingers against your core are both soothing and arousing, a contrast that makes your head spin. “Fuck, baby, so wet for me. You been thinking of this while I was on stage?” You press your face into the fabric, biting your lip to keep from making a sound. The feeling of anticipation coiled tight in your belly, the knowledge of what’s coming next both exciting and terrifying.

He takes his time, gently preparing you with a care and precision that’s surprising given his earlier attitude. “You’re doing so well, my doll,” he murmured, the praise wrapping around you like a blanket. “Being so good for me, letting me take care of you.” His words are gentle, but the control in his tone is undeniable.

After a little more prep, you feel him withdraw his fingers, leaving you feeling empty and wanting. There’s a moment of silence, and you’re not sure what to expect. Then he speaks, his tone suddenly rough and commanding once more. “You’re ready for me now, pretty girl,” he grunts. “Just the way I want you.” The words are a stark reminder of who’s in charge, his hand grabbing your hips roughly and pulling you back towards him.

His grip is tight, holding you in place, as if you were an object to be used for his pleasure. “Been waiting for this,” he growls. “Been waiting to feel you around me. So desperate and needy, aren't you?” There’s a possessive edge to his tone now, the gentleness from before vanishing completely. His body is pressed close against your own, the heat of him burning through your skin.

He pauses for a moment, the heat of his breath against your skin your only warning before he speaks again. “Gonna take what’s mine” he growls, the words thick with desire. “This pretty little pussy belongs to me.” You can’t hold back the soft whimper that escapes you, your back arching almost unconsciously, your body needy and ready. You’re lost in a sea of sensation, every nerve ending on edge.

You claw at the sofa to find something to hold onto, a lifeline to tether you to reality. But it's all becoming a blur, his presence behind you taking up your entire focus. “Such a pretty little sound,” he murmurs, the words a harsh contrast to his gentle tone before. “Like music to my ears.”

You’re pressing back against him, desperate for friction, your body desperate for any touch he’ll give you. “So impatient,” he chuckles, the sound deep and rough. “Impatient little doll, so needy for me.”

“Just can’t wait, can you?” he adds, the words a taunt, a challenge. “No, I thought not.”

“No, you just need to be taken care of, don’t you?” he continues, the words sharp and mocking. “Just need something to fill you up, don’t you, doll?”

He chuckles, the sound low and guttural against your skin as his lips brush your ear, sending a shiver down your spine. “You’re always so desperate for my attention, it’s pathetic. But I suppose I can’t blame you for that.”

His hand slides up your thigh, his palm warm and rough against your skin. “You do look your best when you’re begging. I’ll give you that.”

You whimper, trying to find the words, but all that comes out is a series of garbled, incoherent sounds. Your brain is mush, all thoughts of bratting or teasing gone as you cling to him, your body arching into his touch.

He notices your inability to form a complete sentence, a satisfied smirk tugging at the corner of his lips. “Looks like I broke you. Can’t even string a sentence together anymore, can you?” His fingers find the edge of your skirt, slowly sliding it higher up your thighs, his other hand still on your neck, keeping you in place. “Poor thing. That’s what happens when you make me wait all night.”

His hand taps your thigh, a firm but not unkind command. “Leg up,” he instructs, his voice stern and expectant. It’s an unmistakeable order, one you know not to ignore. With a small, whimpering sound escaping your lips, you obey, lifting your leg and draping it over the arm of the sofa, exposed and vulnerable.

Your words come out as a whiny, desperate plea, a jumble of sounds that are barely coherent. “Please-” you manage to get out, your voice trembling. His hand has moved up your thigh, now so close to where you need him the most, and you’re keenly aware of how exposed and vulnerable you are in this position. “Please-“ you repeat, hoping he takes pity on you and gives you some relief.

He hums softly, his eyes fixed on you, a dark amusement dancing behind them. “Please what?” he asks, his voice dripping with mockery. “Use your words, doll.”

Your words are pleading, the tone of your voice making it clear how desperate you’ve become. You whine and blabber, your brain completely incapable of forming a coherent sentence. “Need you in me, please,” you finally manage to speak.

The smirk on his face widens as he hears your desperate plea, the edge of mockery and condescension in his tone making it perfectly clear that he’s enjoying this. “Need me in you, do you?” he repeats, the words hanging in the air for a moment before he continues. “How badly do you need it, then? Can you tell me that?”

Your throat feels tight as you try to respond, your brain so overwhelmed that speaking seems like a struggle. “Please,” you repeat again, the word pleading and raw. “So badly, I need-“ you cut yourself off, unable to fully articulate the depths of your need right now.

He lets out a low, amused sound, clearly relishing in the power he has over you right now. “What a desperate mess you are,” he murmur. A wicked, satisfied smirk plays across his lips as he finally gives in, his hand gently caressing your inner thigh as he hums in mock contemplation. “I suppose I should give you what you want,” he says, his tone still dripping with condescension. “Since you asked so nicely."

You’re a complete mess, your body shuddering and tense, your words a jumble of desperate pleas and whimpers. Your hands clutch tightly at the sofa, your knuckles white as you try to ground yourself. Your eyes are pleading, and you’re whimpering and whining, the need inside of you growing more intense with every passing second. He pushes you back, the movement firm and assured. You feel his body heat against yours as he positions himself on top of you, his hands grabbing your hips to hold you in place. He’s dominant and in control, his eyes burning with a mix of desire and satisfaction.

“You gonna behave now?” he husks, his voice a low, growling sound, as he pushes you even further into the sofa, your body pinned and at his mercy. “That’s what I thought,” he says, his smirk growing as he notices your nod and the way you’re whining. “You’ve finally learned your lesson, huh? Finally learned not to tease me and act like a fuckin’ brat?”

His hands grip your hips even tighter, his fingers digging into your skin as he slowly pushes into you, the feeling overwhelming and satisfying, the air leaving your lungs in a rush. You hear his voice through the haze of pleasure, barely distinguishable past the buzzing in your ears. “That’s it,” he groans out. You whine and whimper, clinging to him, unable to form a coherent thought or sentence. “Yes, please, yes,” you manage to get out.

You feel completely unraveled, your body trembling and sensitive to every touch and movement. He’s relentless, each thrust rough and commanding as he takes what he wants. You struggle to hold on, the pleasure so intense that it’s almost too much to bear, your body writhing under his hands, each motion drawing cries from your lips.

“Noahhh!” His name on your lips like a chant, a prayer, a plea, sends a jolt through him, a low curse leaving his mouth as he thrusts harder into you, his fingers holding your hips so tight it feels like you’ll fall if he lets go.

His movements grow rougher in response to your reaction, the need for control seeping through his actions. He leans down, his breath hot against your ear as he demands, “Colour. Now, princess.” The authoritative tone in his voice sends a shiver down your spine, the demand clear and uncompromising. “Give me a colour, baby, talk to me,” he repeats, his words a command that demands an immediate answer.

You struggle for a moment, your brain so clouded with pleasure that forming a coherent response feels like an impossible task. But finally, you manage to gasp out, “G- green.”

He hums, satisfied by your answer, the grip on your hips loosening just a little as he slowly eases back, his movements still assertive and powerful but with a hint of tenderness. “Good girl,” he praises, his voice a low growl in your ear. “Such a needy little thing,” he coos mockingly.

The sound of your safe word seems to unleash something in him, a primal and dominant side taking over. He pushes you further into the sofa, his movements rougher and more demanding as he takes what he wants. The mockery in his voice is even more apparent now, as he mutters, “Can’t believe how needy and desperate you are for me. Just begging for me to take you like this, huh?”

His hands roam your body, grabbing and pulling, his fingers digging into your skin as he pins you down more firmly. “Look at you, a complete mess under me. Did you think I was just gonna let you get away with your little act all night?”

Your hands scramble for purchase, grasping and clawing at anything you can reach. They cling to his thighs, then the sofa, then his upper body, trying to find some grounding as your body goes completely limp in his arms. Your whimpers and moans are constant, a incoherent string of sounds that seem to urge him on even further.

Your body trembles and writhes under his touch, completely undone and at his mercy. You're not sure how long you can last, but you're sure he's not planning on making it easy for you. He continues to push you to the brink, each movement calculated to drive you to the edge of madness. The intensity is overwhelming, the sensations and feelings almost too much to bear. And through it all, the mockery in his voice never fades.

His hand moves up to your throat, applying just enough pressure to make the pressure building in your core even more intense. “Going to break you for this, you know that?” he mutters, his voice gruff and low, nipping at your ear. “You won’t misbehave next time, will you?”

You shake your head vigorously, unable to form a coherent response, the sound that leaves your mouth sounding more like a plea than anything else. “That’s what I thought,” he responds, a smugness creeping into his tone as he continues to drive you further and further towards the edge. “Just gonna let me take you apart and put you back together, over and over again, is that right?”

His hand tightens ever so slightly around your throat, his other hand moving back down to grip your hips again, holding you in place as he continues to take you mercilessly. Your body is so sensitive, every touch and movement feels like an electric shock, sending tremors through your entire form as you cling to him.

It’s so much, it’s too much, and you’re sure you won’t last much longer, but you’re trapped and completely powerless in his grip, his control over you absolute. “Please-” you manage to gasp out, the word catching in your throat as your body trembles even more. “I-”

You can’t finish your sentence, the words cut off by a whimper as his movement increases, the overwhelming sensation building like a tidal wave. He groans at the sound of your whimper, the pleading word cutting through the haze of ecstasy he’s experiencing. He goes faster, his breathing ragged and his muscles taut with exertion. “I know,” he responds, his voice ragged and strained. “I know, I’ve got you."

“Not going to slow down, not gonna be gentle with you,” he hisses, the words edged with mockery. “This is what you get for being such a tease all night, huh? You love playing games, but you aren’t so good at handling the consequences, are you?”

Each word cuts through the haze of pleasure, a stark reminder of the control he has over you right now. “You’ll remember this the next time you decide to act up,” he continues, his voice low and rough. “You understand?” Your body trembles, overwhelmed and oversensitive under his touch, the words adding an extra layer of intensity to the heat already building within you. “Y-yes,” you manage to gasp out, your breath coming in short, ragged pants.

“That’s right, you do,” he responds, satisfaction seeping into his tone. “You’re gonna learn your lesson pretty quick like this, aren’t you, baby?” Your head spins, the relentless pace of his movements and the words he’s muttering driving you closer to the edge with every passing moment. It’s too much, it’s overwhelming, and you’re not sure how much more you can take. “Please-“ you manage to gasp out, the word catching in your throat as your body trembles even more. Your vision becomes fuzzy at the edges, your senses heightened to an almost painful intensity.

“Please what?” he demands, mockery seeping into his tone once again. “You think you deserve to finish after acting like that all night? After misbehaving and being a tease?” It's clear he's enjoying this, revelling in your desperation, your need for release. His eyes burn into yours as he continues to push you to the limits, his smile both sweet and sadistic in equal measure. “I don’t think you’ve learned your lesson yet, doll,” he mutters, his voice low and rough. “Think you need a little more convincing.”

His words send a shiver down your spine, the warning clear and present, but you're helpless to do anything other than cling to him, surrendering to the sensations and the dominant grip he has over you. "You're such a sight like this," he hisses out, his tone a mix of mockery and amusement. "So needy and desperate for me, begging and whimpering. Makes me wonder why you bother putting up a fight. You clearly like this way better." His words are both a taunt and an affirmation, a confirmation of the power he holds over you right now. You can feel his control in every touch and movement, every word and command, and it only serves to make you more overwhelmed and desperate for release.

"Fuck," he curses lowly, his voice tight and strained. "You feel so good like this, so tight. Like heaven.” His grip on you tightens, holding you in a position where you can't move, completely at his mercy. "Can't get enough of this, can you? Don't you remember the last time I made you wait like this, huh? You remember how desperate you were for me?"

You can barely think, your mind a mess of sensation and need, the only sound you can manage is a string of incoherent words and moans. You're a complete mess, a whiny, trembling bundle of desire, your body completely at his mercy. Your mind has turned to mush, your only focus on the intense pleasure and the man holding you captive in his arms. You're beyond coherent thought, your body completely taken over by pleasure and sensation.

The only words you can manage are broken, incoherent moans, your mind consumed by the overwhelming feeling of being at his mercy, completely at his control. You're a trembling, needy mess, a helpless victim to the pleasure he's wringing out of you with every movement and touch. You're completely overwhelmed by the power he has over you, and you're not sure how much more you can take. “Fuck, this pretty little pussy is all mine. So fuckin’ tight for me.” There's no room for doubt or question in his tone, only a certainty that you belong to him, completely and utterly. His hand tightens around your throat, a reminder of his power and control over you.

“Gonna cum-“ I whine, unable to speak a coherent sentence properly. He smirks at your struggle to form words, enjoying the effect he's having on you. "Yeah, you gonna cum for me, doll?" he mutters, his words a taunt and a demand. "You'll cum when I say. And not a moment before." His hand tightens around your throat, his grip a reminder of the control he has over you. "You understand?"

Your voice is wrecked, your response no more than a broken whimper, but you manage to nod, the submission clear in your expression.

He smiles at your acknowledgment, clearly satisfied with your obedience. "Good girl," he purrs, his tone both praise and condescension. His hand shifts from your throat to your hair, tangling in the strands and pulling your head back with a firm, commanding grip. The tug is sharp and sudden, eliciting a gasp from your lips as your head snaps back, exposing your neck to his gaze.

You're a mess, a trembling, whimpering thing, tears streaming down your face, pleading for release. Your words are a jumble, an incoherent babble of desperate pleas and need. "Please," you gasp, choked out in between ragged breaths. "Please, I can't- I need-" It's all you can get out, the rest of your words lost in the haze of pleasure and need. Your voice is raw and hoarse, your body a quivering mess in his arms. Your face is streaked with tears, your eyes pleading as you look up at him, fully at his mercy. "Please," you implore again, the word a broken whisper. You're past the point of embarrassment or pride, past the point of coherency. All you can think about, all you need, is release, and you're completely reliant on him to get you there.

Your body twitches and trembles under his touch, oversensitive and hypersensitive all at once. You're utterly wrecked, a complete mess of need and desire. Your pleas have dissolved into incoherent whimpers and gasps, the only word you're able to form is a broken, desperate "Please." There's no trace of the confident, fiery woman you normally are. You're broken down, a trembling mess under his touch, completely reduced to a state of raw need and vulnerability.

He grins at the sight of you, completely unraveled before him. "Look at you," he murmurs, his tone both mocking and affectionate. "You're a mess, princess. All worked up and begging for me, huh? You're adorable." He smirks down at you, clearly enjoying the effect he's having on you. "Needy little thing," he mutters, his tone still holding that hint of mockery. "Begging me so pretty.” There's a gentleness in his words, a hint of endearment amidst the mockery. It's a reminder that he enjoys having this power over you, relishes in the fact that he can reduce you to a trembling mess with just a few words and touches.

You're writhing and wriggling against him, your body quivering with barely contained need. You clench and tighten, desperate for release, your voice reduced to a needy whine. "Please-" you gasp out again, your tone pleading and desperate. "I can't take it, I can't-"

"Cum for me, pretty girl," he purrs, his voice both gentle and commanding. "Let go for me. I've got you." His tone is soothing, reassuring, despite the demand in his words. He knows you're at your limit, and he's going to push you over the edge, but he'll be there to catch you.

With a final few words of praise and encouragement from him, the tension that's built between you finally reaches its peak, and you come undone. Your body tenses, every muscle tight as the wave of pleasure washes over you, your senses overwhelmed by the intensity of the moment. You're a trembling, gasping mess in his arms, held up by him as you ride out the waves of pleasure that crash over you, and slowly, as the pleasure subsides, you collapse against him, boneless and exhausted, completely spent. His arms wrap around your body, holding you close, a mixture of satisfaction and endearment etched in his expression.

His demeanor shifts instantly, the dominating, commanding persona fading away to reveal the softer, gentler version of himself that you know so well. He pulls you close, wrapping his arms around you with a tenderness that's a stark contrast to the intensity of moments before. “Colour, baby? How are you feeling?" he asks quietly, his voice filled with concern and affection. His fingers run gently through your hair, a soothing gesture as he checks in on you, ensuring that you're okay and that he hasn't pushed your limits too far. There's a hint of self-reproach in his tone, a silent apology for any moment when he might have been too rough or demanding.

You manage a small, exhausted smile, the aftermath of the intense pleasure still lingering. "Green," you assure him softly, your voice hoarse but steady. "So green, baby." His shoulders sag slightly in relief, the tension that had subconsciously built up in his body releasing at your reassurance. He pulls you closer, rubbing a hand along your back in a comforting, gentle motion. "Good girl," he murmurs, his tone filled with praise and affection. "You did so good, you were so perfect. I'm proud of you." The words come easily, a natural response to your submission and obedience. He's still in caretaker mode, his concern for your wellbeing trumping any remnants of the authoritative persona he had moments before.

He lifts you up gently, your body still weakened and trembling in his arms. With a soft, caring demeanor, he sets you down on the couch, a thoughtful gesture to prevent you from exerting yourself. “Just relax, baby," he soothes, his tone gentle and affectionate. "I'm gonna get you cleaned up, okay?"

He disappears into the bathroom, returning moments later with a damp towel. He sits down beside you, his touch soft and tender as he begins to gently clean up the residue of your intimate encounter. He moves between your legs, the gentle touch of the towel against your skin a soothing contrast to the previous intensity. You're boneless, barely able to move, your head falling back against the couch as you struggle to catch your breath.

His gaze is filled with affection and care as he cleans you with gentle, steady movements. Every now and then, he pauses to press a soft kiss to your skin, offering words of praise and reassurance in his quiet, comforting tone. "You're so beautiful," he murmurs, his words soft and sincere. "So good for me, princess. Always so good for me." He's careful in his movements, his touch gentle and slow so as not to overstimulate you. His focus is on caring for you, attending to your needs and reassuring you with his touch and words.

Once he's finished, he discards the towel and returns his attention to you, shifting to sit beside you on the couch. He pulls your weary body into his arms, cradling you against his chest and wrapping his arms around you, enveloping you in a protective embrace. You feel yourself yawn, exhaustion settling into your bones now that the adrenaline has faded. You snuggle closer to his chest, your body a perfect fit against his. He smiles at the sight, gently maneuvering you into his lap, cradling you against him with a protective, loving grip.

He lets a few moments pass in comfortable silence while he absentmindedly strokes your hair. Then, with a soft chuckle, he speaks up, his tone filled with affectionate sarcasm. “You learn your lesson about teasing me yet, princess?" You roll your eyes, giving him a light elbow in the side. "Oh yeah, I'm a changed woman," you reply sarcastically, a playful smirk on your lips. He laughs, enjoying your playful banter. "Yeah, right," he retorts, raising an eyebrow at you. "You're still a brat, sweet girl." His tone is affectionate, laced with a hint of mock severity. He loves your feistiness, secretly enjoying the way you push his buttons. It's all just a part of your dynamic, an endearing trait that he finds endearing even as he playfully chides you for it.

He presses another soft kiss against your hair, his voice a soothing rumble. "Get some rest, angel," he murmurs, holding you tightly against his chest. "I've got you, just relax."

He continues to stroke your hair, a gentle, repetitive motion that is meant to soothe you into sleep. He stays alert, watching over you as you slowly drift off.

“I love you, princess.”

taglist @aubrey-melinoe @cainified @krrule1 @ihrtlonghairedboys @somewhere-diamond

[lonelydragonlady]

Regarding the recent Chapell Roan stuff, I wanted to say that I bet that Noah is a fan of her. Noah has similar problems with boundaries of fans and I bet he’s a fan of Chapell for speaking out against it. Just my opinion. Also, being a quick rising star himself, he probably understands the pressure she’s under. I hope that her speaking out on her platform actually makes a difference.

[lonelydragonlady]

👀

[lonelydragonlady]

Just For Tonight: Part Two

*gif created by me. feel free to use, simply give credit*

Pairings: Noah Sebastian x Reader x Nicholas Ruffilo

Warnings: swearing, fluff, angst, smut(voyeurism, p in v, oral-male and female receiving, fingering, degradation, spanking, choking, m/f/m relations that deal with three-way sex so read at your own risk if it's not your thing)

Summary: Ignoring everything the morning after a night of sheer pleasure was something this love triangle never expected. The familiar scars and electric hearts calling home to all of them.

Authors Note: Here's the long awaited part two! I would love to hear your thoughts on it. Enjoy my loves!

TAGS:@madomens @xxkittenkissesxx @darling-millicent-aubrey @heyyoplayer @myownthoughts12 @shilohrosechicken @blueskylinesx @sorrowsofsilence @lma1986 @xmads-omensx @ourdiabolikal-rapture @rain-down-on-me @livingdeceasedgirl @bngurngheart @sprokat @chewyylynn @crimesscene @punkrockpixie @somebodyllelse

PART ONE HERE

The bright rays from the sun broke through the curtains of my bedroom, casting our bare bodies in a warmth I’d been desperate for nearly all my life. I thought the two warm bodies were enough for me but I’d been wrong; there was only one warm body next to me, one that felt familiar. The other, unfamiliar one, had been long gone. His spot on the bed was almost cold to the touch. 

Raising my head from Nicholas’ chest, I peered over to the other side of the bed where I expected to see Noah asleep but was only met with rumpled sheets. I furrowed my brows with confusion, doing my best to ignore the stinging pain in my hair when I realized he’d left sometime in the night. Something he said he wouldn’t do. 

Seeing Nicholas was still asleep, I gently rolled over behind me to reach for my phone on the nightstand quickly working out a text to Noah. 

Me: Where’d you go? 

I tapped my phone on the mattress for a few moments, waiting for his reply, but was met with silence. Just as I was about to send another text, Nicholas’ calloused fingers grazed over my bare stomach as he pulled me into his chest. 

“Morning, honey,” his voice was muffled by my hair. 

I hummed with a smile. “Good morning. Sleep well?” 

I felt him nod behind me. “Best night of sleep I’ve had in a while. How about you? You doing alright after last night?” 

Last night.  

Both of their cocks worked in spreading me wide for them. The room filled with the scent of all three of us, tangling together with the tellings of our ever growing affair. Some might have thought this was wrong but it felt so right; so free.

Blinking away the thoughts of last night, I turned over in Nicholas’ arms to place a tender kiss to his lips. 

“I’m good. What about you?” I asked while trailing my finger over his cheek. 

There was this lingering fear that he would have woken up today with regret for what happened last night. Yet the love that sparkled in Nicholas’ eyes told me otherwise. 

“Surprisingly good,” he let out a low chuckle, hands grazing over my back. “I’m upset I can’t stay here in bed with you all day but duty calls.” 

I frowned, remembering he had a full day of tattooing he had booked down at his shop. Nicholas would most likely be gone all morning and afternoon, meaning I’d be alone in the house with Noah. 

All three of us were roommates and prior to last night, I usually didn’t mind staying alone in the house with Noah. We’d pass the time watching anime together or he’d show me what he and the guys had been working on in the studio. Nicholas never had to worry about his girlfriend and bestfriend hanging out together alone. 

Yet now, things were different. Something I feared. 

“You can’t stay? Reschedule the appointments?” I jutted out my bottom lip while rolling on top of him so I could straddle him. 

Those dark eyes trailed over the purple marks that littered my neck, down to my breasts, and even the bite marks from last night that were forever etched into my skin. His fingers pinched my perky nipples and I let my head fall back in bliss. 

“I can’t, honey. I have to get up and get ready.” his hand now gripped the back of my neck to pull me down to him, ravaging my lips with his own. 

I moaned into the kiss, letting his familiar taste linger on my tongue as I rubbed my already wet folds up and down his growing cock. The kiss was messy and needy, telling me Nicholas was desperate for this from the moment he opened his eyes. 

“I need to get up,” he said in between kisses. 

“You don’t even have five minutes for me?” I teased him, leaving kisses across his neck. 

Faint curses fell from his lips when I reached down between us, palming his cock. I knew I was still sticky and dirty from last night, never finding the energy to get up and shower, but it didn���t seem to bother Nicholas. With fingers wrapped around him, I guided myself down onto his cock and moaned out in pleasure. He always felt so good inside of me. 

“Y/N,” he sighed just before our lips clashed again, this time slower. 

It matched the pace of our thrust, both wanting to take time we didn’t have with each other. My breasts were pressed against his chest as Nicholas held me tighter, his strokes long as he dragged himself nearly all the way out, now only fucking me with the head of his cock. 

My cries of pleasure were drowned out by the noise of the headboard smacking against the wall, Noah’s words from last night suddenly ringing in my head. 

“This is what I would hear every fucking night. Imagining this scene in front of me; although seeing now, it’s much better than what I thought.”

“Honey,” Nicholas’ straight voice brought me back and I gazed down at him, cupping his cheek. 

The look in his eyes was one I immediately recognized, so I urged him on with a nod. 

“I’m so close too, Nicky. Let go.”

Both of our bodies stilled for a moment as I clenched around his cock with my release as he spilled inside of me. It was nothing compared to the rawness I felt from him last night, this time it was softer. I collapsed on top of him and Nicholas brushed away the strands of hair from my face so he could place a kiss on my forehead. 

“Dinner tonight?” 

I smiled into his chest and gave an eager nod. “I would love that.”

Whatever worry I had if things between us changed because of last night were quickly swept away. He meant what he said that regardless of what happened, he would still feel the same about me. He wouldn’t allow last night to affect us. 

I, however, would soon realize that I was unable to keep that same promise.

Three hours later, I was dressed in a yellow bikini and trotted down the stairs towards the back yard. After Nicholas left for the tattoo shop, I allowed myself another hour of sleep before getting up to shower and decide to get something productive done. 

The house had been quiet all morning which confused me because Noah always seemed to make some kind of noise as he stalked throughout whether it was his bed creaking as he got up in the morning or his voice lingering in the walls as he ran through the Bad Omens set, honing in on his craft. Yet this morning, it was as if he was a ghost roaming the halls. 

After grabbing a bottle of water from the fridge and connecting my phone to the outdoor bluetooth speaker, I stepped out into the blazing Los Angeles sun ready for an afternoon of sunbathing. It was a random off day for me so I planned on relaxing in an effort to forget about last night. 

My plans were halted when I saw the lean tattooed body of Noah already outside, mowing the lawn. His body glistened with sweat from the sun and I squeezed my legs together at the sight. He looked God-like and memories of how his cock felt in my mouth made it water, wanting another taste. I knew I should go back inside to ignore him, especially since he ignored my text earlier this morning, but instead I set my things down on the lawn chair, quickly immersing myself into the book I’d brought out. 

Ignoring Noah only lasted for a few minutes because as he turned with the mower, ready to come back the way he came, he froze when his eyes landed on my body laid out on the chair. My book was long forgotten as I felt his burning gaze travel over the material of my bikini, resting over the swell of my breasts the longest. 

Neither of us said a word, unable to form the right thought because of how intense the battle was raging inside of us. It was wrong of us to have our gazes linger on places that didn’t belong to us but the gray shorts Noah wore left little to the imagination. 

What imagination? You saw his dick last night.

I nearly choked when the thought plowed me and Noah raised a brow. 

“Everything alright?” He wondered, the lawn mower still idling. 

Running my sweaty hands over my thighs, I did my best to nod, which seemed to be enough for him because Noah was about to start mowing the lawn again. That was until my words made his shoulders go rigid. 

“You left,” I let out a broken breath, my heart weighing heavy with his broken promise. 

Noah ran a hand through his sweat slicked hair, those dark eyes all encompassing as they drank in the sight of me in my bikini yet again before falling into the chair beside me. “What did you want me to do, Y/N? Stay and pretend that this will work out between the three of us? You’re dating my best friend, you have been for years. It’s not right for me to want you; I can’t want you.”

“So we’re just supposed to pretend that last night didn’t happen? I’m sorry, I don’t think I can do that,” I admitted while pulling my knees close to my chest. 

Noah snorted, eyes slicing into me. “It sure sounded like you moved on from last night with the moises you were making this morning.” 

I blinked for a moment, suddenly realizing what he was talking about. 

“You heard?” 

“Of course I did, angel! Do you not realize I hear you and Nicholas every time he fucks you? I hear the way you moan for him, cry out for him, while I sit there wishing it was me? It’s been years of torture!” 

Noah ran an aggravated hand over his jaw, doing his best to keep his composure. 

“I-I didn’t know,” I admitted quietly under my breath yet I knew he heard me. 

“Of course you didn’t. Because you were too busy wrapped up in your perfect life with Nicholas to see anything else,” Noah’s knees bounced rapidly. 

This was not how I imagined the morning after to go. The delusional part of me thought that we’d all wake up together and figure out the complex parts of our relationship together. But it was clear that it was wrong of me to think that way. 

“So what are you saying, Noah?” I scoffed. “You’re telling me you don't want me but yet, rambling on about how you wish it was you. You’re not making any sense.” 

“Forget it,” he waved me off, casting his gaze over towards the end of the yard where he’d been previously watering all of my fruits and vegetables I’d been growing the last few months, the hose still extended all throughout the yard. 

Gathering my things, I slowly rose from the lawn chair and motioned inside. “I should start getting ready. Nicholas is taking me to dinner tonight.” 

Somber eyes landed on me for a beat and it was as if Noah’s feelings were bleeding out yet unable to correctly voice them. Instead, he let out a grunt of disapproval as he rose to his feet, beginning to move past me. Both of us trying to maneuver around each other was a hassle and I managed to trip over the hose, only seconds away from smacking my face on the concrete until strong arms wrapped around me. But the force of the fall managed to take both Noah and I down to the grass, him landing on top of me. The pain was nothing compared to the feeling on his chest on top of mine or his cock as it pressed against my thigh, in between his legs. Our erratic breaths were synchronized, almost like our souls were slowly becoming, and when he brushed a hand over my face, I leaned into his warm touch. 

“Angel,” he breathed over my lips. “We can’t.”

“How am I supposed to forget you, Noah? I can’t. Last night meant too much to forget,” I scratched my nails along the tattoos on his chest. 

Noah shivered from my touch as his eyes fluttered shut, his cock pressing against my thigh and I swore I heard a quiet moan crawl through his throat. It was evident in the way he clenched his jaw that he was holding himself back, it pained him not to consume me right then and there. 

Our friendship was nothing more than a fading memory, this new and unsure future building a wall between us. 

“All I crave is you, angel. I want every part of you,” his teeth grazed over my neck, leaving a tiny red mark just above one Nicholas had left this morning. Then his tongue dragged over the valley between my breasts, his finger ghosting over the thin material that hid my perky nipples.  “But I can’t do that to Nicholas.” 

Before I knew what was happening, Noah pushed himself off of me to retreat inside of the house. I gazed up at the suddenly dark sky, an incoming storm about to ravage the neighborhood, and couldn’t stop as I let out a groan. 

“What the fuck did we do?”

"Oh Nicky," I moaned while arching my back off of the cool marble of the kitchen counter. 

His words were muffled as he continued to lap up at my pussy, devouring me all to himself. It was as if something was driving him to pleasure me in ways he'd never reached before. Although, I knew there was no need for him to be in this competition with himself. It was futile because he knew my body like a book he'd been studying for years. 

We’d returned from dinner moments ago to a dark and quiet house, Noah texting Nicholas that he had a training session with Ash and he wouldn’t be home tonight. I knew that it was because he wanted to be far away from our date. Earlier in the yard had acted like a block in my mind all night as I tried to enjoy dinner with Nicholas, who could tell something was on my mind. I didn’t want to talk about it because I wasn’t sure how he would react with the moment between Noah and I. It was made known that Nicholas knew how I’d always wanted Noah sexually yet he didn’t know how my heart yearned for Noah. 

I loved Nicholas with my entire being. We planned a future together, we were each other forever, and I had no desire to change that because of one night of sexual frustrations. 

All the same, was it fair to my heart to try and ignore the way Noah slowly crept inside of it? It was big enough to share this same love with both of them, no?

So to take my mind off of whatever was plaguing it, Nicholas was quick to capture my lips in a heated kiss, dragging me into the kitchen without breaking it. 

“Need some dessert,” he mumbled against them before hoisting me up on the kitchen counter. 

Nicholas’ teeth grazed over my clit before his lips wrapped around it, sucking eagerly. His fingers worked in and out of my walls, fucking me closer to the edge I'd been hanging off of all day. Ever since this morning in the backyard with Noah. 

You can' think of him right now. Think of your boyfriend, Nicholas. 

"That's it baby, cum for me. Soak my face," he demanded with a sharp bite to the inside of my thigh, slipping a third finger inside of me. 

His thumb rubbed erratic circles on my clit and my body felt frozen, unable to drop off the ledge. My orgasm was right there, so close I could smell my arousal dripping down my legs right before Nicholas' warm tongue licked it up. I raked my nails through his hair, grasping onto the long locks to bring his face closer to my clit. 

"'M so close. Don't stop." I practically begged. 

Was it wrong to do this in a space we shared with Noah? Yes. Was it the first time? No. 

Although, it was the first time we’d done it with someone watching. 

Nicholas grunted, mouth now too busy for words. Yet, my attention was no longer on him but on the man standing in the doorway, shirtless with water dripping down his tattooed chest. It was apparent he’d just stepped out of the shower and the towel was hung low on his hips, the sunset from the large kitchen windows casting over his hard V line. Noah made no noise, simply watched with black eyes as Nicholas' tongue and fingers took turns fucking me. 

I couldn’t speak, couldn’t even give Nicholas a warning that Noah was in fact not out; he was watching us with desire in his eyes. Just as I gathered the words on my tongue, ready to tell him, my head was rolled to the side as my orgasm began filling my veins. Half-lidded eyes watched as Noah dropped the towel to the floor so he could wrap his hand around his thick cock, stroking it slowly; up and down, his thumb smearing the beads of precum around the tip, almost using it as lubricant. His bottom lip was caught between his teeth as he tried so hard to remain quiet, not wanting to give way to Nicholas that he was watching. He leaned an arm against the doorway, movements around his cock still fast, almost punishing. 

The sight of Noah pleasuring himself to Nicholas who was eating me out like a man starved was exactly what I needed to finally jump off the cliff edge, my orgasm wrapping its arms around me to carry me to blissful euphoria. As I came down from my high, panties still hanging around my ankles and skirt hiked up over my stomach, Nicholas helped me sit up against the countertop and I made a mental note to disinfect the area. His rough hands spread my legs wide so he could step between them and I allowed him to bury his face in the crook of my neck, inhaling my scent. 

“I love you so much, honey.” 

My eyes were glued to the man in the doorway still, Noah’s chest heaving as he nearly collapsed to his knees when he spilled himself all over his hand; the milky substance painting over his limp cock. I licked my lips at the unholy sight of him, ravenous for the taste of him again. I wanted it to linger on my lips as I kissed Nicholas so he knew how his best friend tasted. I wanted Noah to fuck Nicholas’ cum into me. I wanted both of their seeds spilled down my throat. 

Simply put, I wanted both of them. 

Letting out a wavering breath, I ran my fingers through Nicholas’ hair and watched as Noah snatched up the towel from the ground, not bothering to clean his hand as he stalked back up the stairs; my eyes never leaving the sight of his perk ass. 

“I love you too, Nicholas.”

Three days. 

Noah had been avoiding me for three days and it felt like my heart was ripped out of my chest and stomped on repeatedly. True feelings aside, what hurt the most was that I lost my best friend. He’d ignore my texts asking if he wanted to watch a movie or if he wanted to go on a run together. I tried to understand where he was coming from, understand his feelings on the situation but everytime I did, it only made the lingering feelings of possible regret weigh heavy on my shoulders. 

I had to put my best fake smile on tonight because Nicholas invited everyone over for a little get together and we all were piled into the living room as music blared through the speakers. This was the first time I’d seen Noah and the sight of him dressed in black paint and a matching tank top made my heart jump into my throat. His chain and bracelet glinted underneath the red neon lights we had hung around the living room which in turn made my white sundress glow radiantly; Nicholas humming endearing yet naughty things in my ear all night while I sat in his lap. His hands would occasionally slink up underneath my dress to ghost over my pussy, wet with arousal from his words. It went undetected by everyone; well, almost everyone. 

Noah’s black eyes watched us, tracking every movement of Nicholas’ hands and lips as it nibbled on my ear. I giggled and dragged my nails over the exposed part of his chest, him opting to leave the first three buttons of his shirt undone. 

“I missed you last night. I need to feel you around my cock, honey,” Nicholas purred in my ear. 

I sucked in a breath, admitting I missed him last night as well. “Why don’t we send everyone home and maybe take a dip in the hot tub?” 

His eyes sparkled even filled with darkness but simply tapped my thigh. “Soon.”

With a frown, I turned towards Folio, who had asked me a question, and conversed with him for a long while, every so often letting my eyes towards the man in the corner of the room. It seemed as if he’d been busy as well, a mutual female friend of Jolly’s girlfriend showing up tonight. As soon as she saw Noah, she was attracted to him like a magnet. Although, I couldn’t say the same for him. 

“I need another drink,” Nicholas muttered before rising from the chair. 

Gently, I pushed him back down and stood while smoothing out my dress. “I’ll grab it. I want some more snacks anyway.”

Leaving him with a quick kiss, I walked into the kitchen and felt a warm presence behind me. Just as I turned to see who it was, Noah wrapped his fingers around my elbow, dragging me into the small bathroom off of the hallway.

Darkness wrapped around us and our staggered breaths filled the tight space. My hand smacked the wall in an effort to find the switch but Noah linked his fingers with mine, locking both hands against the bathroom counter. 

“Noah,” I gasped. “What are you doing?” 

As my eyes adjusted to the darkness, I could make out the faint lines of his face and nearly fell when I saw his pupils were blown wide with lust. 

“I heard you last night,” Noah lifted my chin with his nose so he could leave a trail of feather-like kisses along my neck. 

My face reddened in the shadowy bathroom, knowing what he was talking about. Nicholas had spent the night at Jolly’s place, getting a little too tipsy to drive home. So it was only Noah and I but we both kept ourselves locked in our bedrooms. I’d been left alone with one of my favorite dark romance books, one particular scene making me squirm with the need to know what it felt like to be blindfolded as a man ate me out. I tried to ignore the burn between my legs all night but even after my cold shower, it did nothing to help. So I laid spread out on mine and Nicholas’ bed with my black rose vibrator pressed hard against my clit and cried out with elation as I came. 

I swallowed thickly and gripped the edge of the counter behind me when he let my hands go. “I-I-don’t know what you’re talking about.”

Noah hummed, the noise rumbling deep within his chest as his fingers slipped underneath my sundress, ghosting over my hip. One lone finger pressed inside of my walls and I hastily reached for anything I could to grab a hold off. His scent was intoxicating, rendering me useless as his strokes were so fast, my knees began to buckle.

“Does Nicholas know you called out my name instead of his when you came?” 

The pleasure I’d been chasing vanished with his words and I angrily pushed back against Noah, growing tired of his games. “Fuck you!” 

One hand wrapped around my throat, pulling me flush against the door, it rattled behind me with the force of it while the other hand rested on my swollen mound, his fingers gathering the wetness over my panties. It was made known I’d like sex rough so the feeling of his hands all over me made a pathetic whine fall from my lips. 

“You can lie all you want, angel,” Noah murmured in my ear, still with a tight grip around my neck. “But I know you want this. Your pussy says otherwise.” 

How dare he act like it was me that didn’t want this? All I wanted was him. And Nicholas. But it was Noah that couldn’t get over his feelings of betrayal with Nicholas. 

I roughly pushed him away and flipped on the bathroom light, the room suddenly filled with the bright glow. Noah stood there watching me with a preying gaze but I continued to stand tall against him. 

“Fuck you, Noah! You’re such an asshole for playing these mind games. You can’t tell me that you crave me but then continue to push me away. You don’t get the right to tell me we can’t be together but then in the same breath touch me like this! You don’t get the best of both worlds.” 

“Y/N,” he stared, eyes softening, but I held up a hand to silence him.

“Go back to the party and the girl that’s ready to open her legs for you because I’m done with the fucking mind games.”

Ignoring the burn in my throat, I stormed out of the bathroom toward the living room and to Nicholas, whose smile radiated the light in the darkness that was consuming me. But when he saw the flustered state I was in, he rose from his chair and was quick to bring me into his arms. The dark locks I loved to run my fingers through were falling in soft waves around his shoulders.

“What’s the matter, honey?” Nicholas wondered. 

I blew out a shaky breath while grasping onto the shirt on his back, desperately wishing that night didn’t happen. There was no way my friendship with Noah would ever be the same. 

“I’m alright now. I just need you,” I admitted, burying my face into his chest. 

He kissed the top of my head before falling back into the chair with me on his lap again. 

“I’m right here, Y/N. I’m not going anywhere.” 

We sat there in our own bubble as our friends conversed, Nicholas’ hand grazing up and down my bare thigh. I allowed myself to retreat into the familiarity of his touch, letting it calm my racing thoughts. Yet when my eyes traveled over to the man across from us, my heart sank to the depths of my stomach. 

The girl who had been around Noah all night was now latched onto his side, whispering something in his ear. Our eyes met finally and it was an intense battle of who would look away first, neither of us wanting to falter. I’d been so consumed by Noah that I missed the way Nicholas watched both of us, realization finally settling on his face

As I saw everyone out, Nicholas and Noah separately retreating upstairs a while ago, I hung out in the doorway with Jolly as we finished up our conversation. Thankfully, the girl that was hanging out with Noah all night finally got the hint he wasn’t interested and left hours ago which was right after he sauntered up to his bedroom. 

“Are you sure you’re alright? You seemed kind of out of it tonight,” he noted while stuffing his hands in his pockets. 

I hesitated for a moment, deciding whether or not to tell Jolly the truth. He’d been a good friend of mine for a few years now but there were still parts of my life I’d like to keep hidden from him. 

Yeah, like the threesome sex you had a few nights ago.

“Do you think it’s possible to love two people at once?” I nibbled on my bottom lip after glancing upstairs. 

Jolly gave me a warm smile, squeezing my shoulder. “I think you and your heart already know the answer to that, Y/N.” 

While it wasn’t made known how the three of us felt for each other, it was clear to the others. Bidding him a good night, I shut the door and locked it. Exhaustion from the day ached my tired bones and I slowly climbed the stairs to my bedroom where I knew Nicholas was waiting for me. Passing Noah’s bedroom, I paused for a moment to peer inside the open door. His bed was unmade which was unlike him but the room was empty. Shrugging, I continued a few more steps before entering my room, nearly running back out from what I saw. 

Nicholas leaned against the dresser, arms folded across his chest, something clutched in the palm of his hand, and Noah sitting on the edge of the bed, head hung low. This was the first time I’d seen them alone together since that night and I cursed when I couldn’t tell if either of them were upset. They’d both changed out of their party clothes and while Noah was shirtless, wearing a pair of black joggers, Nicholas was wearing a familiar pair of red plaid pajama pants and donning a black shirt. 

“What’s going on?” I asked, rubbing my elbow.

Nicholas sighed and pushed himself off the dresser, beckoning me over to him. “I’m tired of seeing my girlfriend and bestfriend at odds with how they feel about each other.” 

“Nicholas,” I began as he all but practically pushed me onto Noah’s lap, who managed to catch me by resting his hands on my ass. 

“I don’t know why you two are skirting around this. What we all did that night, it changed all of us in different ways,” Nicholas spoke behind me, rummaging around his dresser, most likely hiding whatever was in his hand when I walked in. 

I turned my head towards him, trying to get out of Noah’s grip but it only made him hold on tighter. 

“I never wanted things to change the way it had,” Nicholas continued before sitting down next to Noah on the bed. “All I want is for you to be happy, honey.” 

I nodded. “I am happy, Nicky. With you.” 

Noah gently turned my chin so I had no choice but to face him. “And me?” 

The lines in my forehead creased with confusion. “You’ve made it clear how you feel about this, Noah. You told me we can’t because of Nicholas.”

“All you two idiots had to do was talk to me,” Nicholas chuckled. “If I wasn’t open to the idea of this relationship, I never would have suggested us having sex together that night.” 

My head snapped over towards him while still in Noah’s embrace. “Wait, what are you saying?” 

He merely cupped the back of my head to capture my lips in an ever telling kiss, his words pouring out through it rather than verbally. My tongue tangled with his, tasting the drink from earlier, and Noah began to lift the end of my dress higher up until it rested underneath my breasts. His hands worked over every inch of my skin as Nicholas and I continued to kiss. 

Finally needing a breath, he pulled away to rest his forehead against mine. “Noah and I talked. We’re willing to give this three way relationship a try if you are, Y/N.”

I leaned back so I could look at both of them but then gave Noah my attention fully. 

“I’m hurt that you didn’t talk to me, Noah. Sex aside, we had a great friendship and it felt like you threw it away,” I admitted with a wavered breath. 

He cupped my cheek, almond eyes bouncing between mine. “I’m sorry, angel. You know how fucked I am when it comes to talking about my feelings especially when it comes to you.”

I fiddled with the chain around his neck. “What exactly are those feelings?” 

Noah and Nicholas shared a look and when the latter nodded, Noah’s lips met mine in a tender embrace. This kiss, just like the first, caused fireworks to explode within me as what started as a short kiss slowly grew into a favored frenzy as his hands lifted my dress up over my head, breaking the kiss for only a second. As the material fluttered down to the ground, Noah flipped us over onto the bed and stared down at the only pair of clothes I now wore; a simple cotton thong. 

“I want you, angel. Every day from this moment forward, I want all of you,” Noah proclaimed before shimming out of his joggers and briefs. 

Somehow in the moment of our kiss, I hadn’t noticed Nicholas moving from the end of the bed to the headboard, making himself comfortable. 

“Do you want me?” Noah paused before climbing into the bed with us. 

I reached up to lock my hands around his neck and pulled him down with me. “More than anything.”

Our hands were everywhere, groping and needing to feel something more powerful than the love that was beginning to consume us. Noah spread my legs wide for him, snapping his eyes over towards Nicholas, who had worked himself out of his own clothes. 

“Grab the blindfold.” 

“Blindfold?” I repeated while looking over to Nicholas as he reached for something in the nightstand drawer. 

“Do you trust us, honey?” He asked. 

I nodded. “Of course.” 

Nicholas smiled before brushing his lips over my forehead. “Good girl.” 

Sucking in a breath at the praise, I allowed him to cover my eyes with the blindfold and suddenly my senses were heightened as my loss of vision was apparent. I felt the bed dip around me as Noah and Nicholas muttered quietly amongst themselves, the only words I picked up were “take” and “turns”.

My hands were tied together at the wrists and as I tried to yank on them, the headboard smacked against the wall. 

They tied me to the headboard?

“What’s going on?” I asked, nerves taking over, and I began to writhe against the bed. 

A kiss to the top of my breasts, long hair falling over my face. 

Nicholas. 

“Trust us, honey. We’ve got you.”

Swallowing the thick feeling of jitters, I felt warm breath over my clit and I shivered when a wet tongue began lapping up my arousal. My body arched off the bed as I tried to fight against my bindings. I needed to run my hands through the hair that tickled the insides of my thigh. I couldn’t tell who was between my legs and it made me let out an aggravated groan. 

“What’s the matter, angel?” Noah spoke.

The tongue fucking halted and just as I was about to guess it was Noah, Nicholas’ warm breath fanned over my ear. 

“Can you guess which one of us is tasting that sweet pussy?” 

“I-I,” the words died on my lips causing both of them to chuckle darkly. 

For the next handful of minutes, I felt both of them taking turns eating me out, one bringing me closer to the edge of bliss only to stop so the other could slowly drag it out. By the end of it, I was screaming with my pleas. 

“I need to cum, please. I’m so close,” tears slipped from behind the blindfold, the edging nearly causing me to combust. 

“Hm, I don’t think so,” Noah’s teeth sank into the side of my neck just as the pair of lips around my clit vanished with a loud pop. 

I lay there exposed for them to devour, angry with my need for release only to be denied. 

“I fucking hate you both,” I cursed at them. 

My mouth was captured in a messy kiss, my essences lingering on the tongue that explored me. 

“No you don’t, angel,” Noah sucked on my bottom lip before pulling away. 

Bright light seeped into the room causing me to blink a few times when I realized the blindfold had been pulled off, allowing me to see the unholy sight in front of me. Nicholas was on his knees, hand wrapped around his cock as he stroked himself over my breasts, Noah not too far away. He sat on the bed next to me, forcing my mouth over to his awaiting cock with a bruising grip on my hair. 

“Be a good girl and choke on it while Nicholas paints your chest with his cum,” Noah snarled; not in the mean way but in the way that the whole entire scene was causing him to feel things he knew he shouldn't. 

It’s what we all felt. 

How could anyone understand this? How would anyone react positively when we told them all three of us were together? 

That’s the thing, dumbass. No one else matters beside you three. Your friends already can tell how much love is shared between you guys. That’s all that matters. 

Agreeing with the voice in my head, I laid out my tongue granting Noah permission to slip his cock down my throat; meeting very little resistance. I held him there for a long moment, peering up at him through lashes to see he had one hand against the wall to keep himself upright while the other was still tangled in my hair. Darting my gaze over to Nicholas, I let out a muffled moan when I felt his warm cum spurt all over my chest, some hitting the underside of my chin. He let out a guttural moan, nearly falling on top of me but caught himself. 

Nicholas gathered up some of his cum and tapped my jaw. “Open up for me, honey. Just a bit.” 

Noah halted his fucking of my throat just long enough for Nicholas to stuff two fingers full of cum in my mouth, them grazing over Noah’s slick cock, making him shiver. 

“Fuck man, too close,” he semi snapped. 

Nicholas rolled his eyes before forcing my mouth closed over Noah’s cock again. “It’s bound to happen.” 

“Still,” Noah grunted, now holding my head with both hands. “I love you but not in that way.”

With Nicholas’ cum still in my mouth, I used it as a way to help glide my tongue up and down Noah’s cock, reveling in the way they both tasted. It was a sinful gleam that filled my eyes as I watched both of them. 

Nicholas dragged a finger through the cum on my chest, down to my pussy to press it inside of me. 

Noah, so close to the edge of his own release, that his jaw was clenched and eyes screwed shut. The muscles of his stomach were taut as he tried to hold himself back, unsure what for. So with a gentle tap to his thigh, I allowed him what he’d tried hard to fight against. With a low groan, Noah’s hips stilled and soon his warm cum mixed with Nicholas’ still in my mouth and I swallowed it greedily when Noah slipped out. 

My hands were still bound to the bed and the silk tie was beginning to cut deep into my wrists. 

“These are starting to hurt,” I said quietly. 

Nicholas reached up over to me to untie the binds and brought my wrists to his lips, kissing away the red marks. 

“Still with us?” Noah wondered, running fingers through my hair. 

I nodded in pure fulfillment, even though I had yet to cum. “I'm good.” 

“That’s what I want to hear,” Nicholas praised before helping me to my knees, leaving a few chaste kisses along my spine.

Noah and him switched positions so he was behind me and Nicholas was in front of me, all three of us still on the bed that seemed suddenly too small for us. If this was going to be a recurring thing, we needed to talk about getting a bigger bed. 

Nicholas cock was already hard as he brushed the head over my lips, precum glazing them. 

“Open up for me, honey,” he tapped my jaw and I obeyed. 

As I worked my mouth up and down his length, I felt the presence of Noah’s face behind my ass and pussy, his chest rumbling with approval. 

“Look how wet you are, angel. Is this for us?” 

I did my best to nod over Nicholas but it didn't seem enough for Noah, who smacked my ass with a viscous palm; my cries muffled by the cock in my mouth. While Nichiolas always was a gentle lover with the occasional rough ness, it seemed like that was all Noah; which I didn’t mind. I craved it. 

“No one else gets you this wet, huh?” Noah chuckled dryly, typing his fingers through my arousal, making even more of a mess between my legs. 

I dug my nails into Nicholas’ thighs, hoping he understood omy silent answer as I continued to bob my head up and down, doing my best to please him. I wanted to please both of them. Noah lined himself up behind me, slowly pressing himself in and very quickly, I clenched around him. I didn’t doubt the sight of us tangled like this was immoral but with the way our skin brushed against each other, our shared warmth emanating in waves throughout the bedroom, I didn’t care. 

Our souls connected together, becoming one just like our bodies had, and I knew from this moment on, both of those two would love me until my last breath; even if one of them hadn’t verbally admitted it yet. 

While Noah found himself in a comfortable position behind me, I could tell it was hard for Nicholas to keep himself up right due to the force of Noah’s thrusts. So he reached for Nicholas’ hand, linking them together and holding their arms above me, a way to anchor themselves together. 

Nicholas’ twitched inside of my mouth, an indication he was close, so I laid my tongue out flat for him. Make up mixed with tears ran down my face and my jaw was starting to lock up from the force of his ruthless fucking of my throat. 

“You took him so well, angel. Now, be a good girl and let him use your throat like the slut you are,” Noah growled through gritted teeth. 

I felt his cock reaching points I’d never felt before, it bruising my walls but I continued to cry out in pleasure with each thrust. Nicholas’ eyes casted down to where Noah and I were connected, an inky black filling his once shiny iris’. The way their bodies pulled me back and forth between the two of them, almost a silent telling of the way my heart had felt the last few days. 

“Fuck,” he squeezed Noah’s hands. “The sight of your dick sliding in and out of her. I can’t-. Shit.” 

All at once, Nicholas spilled all over my tongue, shooting himself deep down my throat. The taste was different than Noah’s yet I still drank every last drop. Completely spent, he fell to the bed just as Noah slipped out of me momentarily lifting me into his arms, my legs wrapping around him. 

“Where are we going?” I asked, almost breathless. 

I caught sight of Noah in the mirror as we walked past it, naked and tattooed skin glistening with his sweat and my pussy clenched with the need to be filled again. 

Noah’s strong arms carried me out of mine and Nicholas’ room over towards his, kicking the door shut behind him. 

“He gets to hear what I had to for years,” Noah smirked before tossing me onto his bed. 

The LED light glowed from underneath his bed and it made him exude a red aura around him, almost pulsating with his desire for me. He stood at the end of the bed, basking in the sight of me undoubtedly cast in the same aura, and I noticed the softest of smiles pull at the corner of his lips. His chain and bracelet being the only article of some kind of clothing as he ran a hand through his hair, slicking it back out of his face.

“What?” I sat up on my elbow, suddenly self conscious. “Are you having second thoughts?” 

He quickly shook his head before crawling over me. “Far from it, Y/N. I love you.”

My heart swelled with his admission and tears burned in the corners of my eyes. I’d been anguished for so long thinking Noah wouldn’t feel the same. My love for him was something I admitted to myself years ago. After another night of shared moments between us that went unspoken; both of us pushing that night far back to the recesses of our minds because at the time, we thought it was wrong. But now, knowing how we felt about each other, maybe there was hope that moment could be talked about without the feeling of regret. 

I seized his lips in a leisurely kiss, savoring everything about him. 

“I love you too, Noah,” I proclaimed before kissing him again and basked in the feeling of how finally he was mine; both him and Nicholas. 

He wasted no time in slipping back inside of me, wrapping one of my legs around his back so he could fuck into me with a new angle. Neither of us would last long, this we knew, so as our kiss became more frantic, his thrusts more uneven, I let my hands wander down to the cool skin of his ass, grabbing a hold of it to push himself deeper. 

“I love you so fucking much, angel,” Noah panted, punctuating his words thrust for thrust. 

My head fell back deeper into the pillows, his familiar scent engulfing me, staining deep into my skin, and as my orgasm finally washed through me after a night of denial, I cried out his name like a prayer; a woman praying to her king. 

“I love you too, Noah.” 

As the headboard slammed against the wall violently, matching his thrusts, Noah soon fell over with me and kept himself locked inside of me to make sure I took every last drop of him. 

The earlier feeling of exhaustion suddenly clawed its way inside of me again just as Noah pulled out, his cum dripping down my leg, and collapsed next to me. I lay on my back with him on his stomach, a tattooed arm over my stomach to keep me in place. I dragged a finger over the colorful red colors of the tattoos, the one Nicholas did for him, and let out a sigh. 

“What’s wrong?” Noah yawned, kissing my shoulder. 

I frowned. “We left Nicholas alone.”

Before Noah could say anything, his door was almost kicked open, a very tired Nicholas stepping inside of the room with a pair of blue boxers hung low on his hips. 

“ ‘m tired,” he mumbled while slipping into the bed next to me, arm resting just below Noah’s. 

The three of us lay in silence for a few moments but before I could let the slumber consume me, I let my voice carry out into the air in front of me. 

“So, does this mean we're officially a couple? Or technically would it be a throple? I don’t know how this works,” I admitted sheepishly. 

Noah propped his chin up on his palm, looking down at me while Nicholas played with my hair. 

“You can date both of us, together. We can do things as a trio or you can do things with each of us separately,” Nicholas said. 

“But Nicholas and I won’t be doing stuff with or to each other. Like I said, I love you, just not in that way,” Noah chuckled before ruffeling Nicholas’ hair. 

I turned towards the latter man, reading his expression to make sure this was what he wanted. I didn’t want him to give up his own feelings and beliefs to make me happy. 

“You’re fine with this, Nicky?” I trailed a finger across his jawline. 

His own fingers palmed my breasts. “More than fine with it, Y/N. I knew for a long time now that your heart wanted Noah’s along with mine but I wanted you to be the one to realize it on your own.” 

Noah stifled a yawn behind his hand and went to snuggle up next to me. “I’m exhausted.” 

I giggled as he buried his face into my neck while Nicholas rested his chin on my head. Noah’s bed was immensely smaller than Nicholas's and mine, but somehow, we managed to make it work. We could figure out the logistics of where the sleeping arrangements would be and fine-tune all the details tomorrow but for now, we would rest. 

[lonelydragonlady]

He’s soaking it all in the same way his tank top is 😂 And he looks so satisfied. As he should. This summer is the pinnacle of their career so far and it’s only going up from here. They’ve come so far in this album cycle it’s probably blowing his mind a little to look out over the crowds at Upheaval and Ink and see the sea of people there to see them succeed. To be a fly on the wall of their tour bus afterward…

the way he’s soaking it all in 🥹

[lonelydragonlady]

⸻ 𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝟎𝟏 𝐨𝐟 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐬𝐰𝐞𝐚𝐭 𝐝𝐫𝐢𝐩𝐩𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐛𝐞𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐚 𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐝 𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐨𝐫 .

[lonelydragonlady]

The satisfied look on his face is everything. 🥰🥰🥰❤️❤️❤️

⸻ 𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝟐 𝐨𝐟 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐬𝐰𝐞𝐚𝐭 𝐝𝐫𝐢𝐩𝐩𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐛𝐞𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐚 𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐝 𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐨𝐫 .

[lonelydragonlady]

I cannot stop watching…

⸻ 𝐣𝐞𝐬𝐮𝐬 𝐭𝐚𝐤𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐰𝐡𝐨𝐥𝐞 𝐠𝐨𝐝𝐝𝐚𝐦𝐧 𝐜𝐚𝐫 . 𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐠𝐞𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐞𝐥 !!

[lonelydragonlady]

The Devil's Advocate - Chapter 10

Pairing: Delinquent!Noah Sebastian X Pastor's Daughter!Reader

Summary: Noah is a delinquent with a lot of anger at the church. You're a pastor's daughter plagued by moral perfectionism, charged with overseeing the community service he's been sentenced to complete. You've never encountered true temptation before. How will you fare up against Noah, who not only isn't bound by the same rules of purity as you, but actively scoffs at them?

Rating: 18+ Minors DNI

Warnings: Underage drinking, partying, grinding, making out, mentions of roofies, vomiting, blackouts, minor violence.

Masterlist

Thanks to @throughwoodsanddirt for the beta

Thanks to @flowerynerds for the banner! A/N: Sorry about this, guys. I promise I'll do right by these characters. ________

Noah wasn’t going to go to the party. 

No really, he wasn’t going to go. Folio told him to stay home and not come out, and Noah understood that this was the cost of ghosting you. He had no right to keep tabs on you after that abandonment. 

And it wasn’t really that he wanted to keep tabs on you. He had only gone to Jolly’s because he wanted to work on some music in his studio. It honestly wasn’t even to attend the party at all. 

And the only reason he’d come inside was to grab a beer real quick before taking it back to the shed. It wasn’t his fault that he’d been accosted by Matt, who practically begged him to do shots. Plus, he’d scanned the room for any signs of you and Nick just to make sure he wouldn’t run into you. And it was really cold in his studio. So of course he came inside to warm up a bit. He was definitely gonna go back out to his studio.

Any minute now, he’d head back out. 

He took another sip from his beer as he watched you grind on Nick across the house. 

Hood pulled up, hair tucked underneath and sunglasses on so that he wouldn’t be easily recognized—at least if he was sitting down, he sat perched on the arm of the couch, arms crossed over his chest, nursing his beer as Matt told him about the girl he’d hooked up with earlier that week and he only half listened. 

So you had really come out with Folio. 

Didn’t take you very long to get over him, did it?

Noah caught himself in his bitterness and made an effort to let it go. This was his own damn fault, after all. 

Call it morbid curiosity. Call it masochism. Whatever it was, he knew it wasn’t doing him any favors. He shouldn’t be watching this, and by doing so, he was only torturing himself, but it was like witnessing a car crash—he couldn’t look away. 

Nick had his hands on your hips, pressing into the soft flesh of your ass. Noah could see your miniskirt riding up your thighs as you gyrated. He’d never seen you show that much skin. At least not in public. The only time he’d seen more was…

Well, he wasn’t going to think about that. 

Noah dug his nails into the heel of his hand, gritting his teeth together. He breathed in through his nose. Then out through his mouth. In through his nose. Out through his mouth. 

He was fine. He wasn’t going to be bothered by something like this. You deserved to have fun, and Folio was a great guy who would show you a good time without taking advantage of your inexperience. It was something Noah wanted for you. He’d even encouraged Nick to do this. 

At least to a degree. He didn’t expect him to take it so far. It’s not like his friend had been crushing on you for a while. Or perhaps he had, but had backed off after Noah’s feelings became clear. 

Still, Noah hadn’t expected him to really go all-in on the good time he was showing you, especially not after Noah had told him how he felt. 

Maybe he was punishing Noah for ghosting you? But then, that wouldn’t make sense because he didn’t even know Noah was watching. 

So maybe, he reasoned, thinking back to that self-help article he’d read on Psychology Today earlier that week, it didn’t have anything to do with him. 

Maybe you and Nick were just two people enjoying themselves, connecting with one another. 

And for some reason, that thought more than anything else, made his stomach clench unpleasantly. 

He gripped the bottle tighter, bringing it up to his mouth to try to mask the acidic taste that had started to coat his tongue. 

You spun around to face Nick, and from what he could see, Nick dragged a hand down over your sternum and your lips parted, eyes soft. You threw your head back, exposing your beautiful neck, and Noah watched as Nick dipped his head toward it, then seemed to think better of it and backed off. 

It didn’t take much brain power to see Nick’s motives. Really, he couldn’t blame Nick—he, too, wanted to suck on the delicate skin below your jaw, to lick a languid stripe from your collarbone to your earlobe. If he could capture it in his teeth and tug, if he could taste the salt on your skin, if he could feel the heat of your body as you writhed over him to the music and watch your chest rise and fall with exertion. He wanted to hold you down and have you grind on his thigh until you were shaking with overstimulation and–

Oh fuck, were you kissing?! 

You were. 

Nick’s lips glided over yours in a searing kiss. Noah narrowed his eyes, honing in on what was happening. You opened your mouth to him without any hesitation and his tongue darted in to taste you. You smiled into the kiss, hands fisting in Nick’s shirt to pull him in close, while Nick cupped the back of your head. One of his hands traveled lower, grabbing at the round flesh of your ass. 

Fire erupted inside Noah, burning and charring his insides as he watched the two of you in this profane display of lust. He was rooted to the spot, unable to move and thank God because if he could, he would have ripped you out of Nick’s clutches in a heartbeat. 

A firm hand clapped him on the shoulder and Noah tore his eyes away from the offensive scene, looking up to find Ruffilo standing above him. 

“Don’t do that to yourself,” he shouted above the music. 

His hand was steadying, enough that Noah was able to take a few deep breaths and calm down. 

“I need to talk to you. Outside,” he said, voice serious. Noah adjusted his hood to make sure any defining features were covered before standing up and following Ruffilo around the outskirts of the crowd. He kept a slight bend in his knee so that he didn’t stand a full head taller than everyone around him. 

Ruffilo led him to the back porch where Jolly and Bryan waited, arms crossed, and Noah briefly wondered if he was in trouble. 

“Someone found a girl passed out in the bathroom,” said Jolly. “Her friend said she’d only had one drink.” 

Noah blinked a few times, once again realizing that he wasn’t at the center of every conversation and that this was not about him. 

Although hearing Jolly’s words, he would have rather it been about him. 

This was bad. Very bad. 

“You thinking what I’m thinking?” Noah said. 

Jolly nodded. 

Roofies were not a common problem for the kind of crowd they liked to keep at their parties. Most of the time, the drugs were contained to frat houses and bars, if they were present at all—but they had popped up once or twice, and each time, Jolly and the rest had taken the issue very seriously. 

“What do you need?” asked Noah. 

“I’m going to man the doors and vet everyone who leaves. If any girls look like they’re too drunk or incapacitated, they stay here until we find a way to get them home safely,” said Jolly.

“I’ll watch for any signs upstairs,” said Ruffilo. “I doubt it’s any of our regular guys. Probably someone who doesn’t come here often.” 

“That narrows it down,” said Jolly. “Keep an eye out for any girls who seem out of it. Ask questions. See if they can tell you who they were talking to. Ask their friends, too, and keep a close eye on anyone who isn’t our regular crowd.” 

Jolly wore a mean scowl as he spoke, his fists balled up tight. He took pride in creating a safe space for everyone to enjoy, and took it very personally when someone compromised the safety of that space. If Noah knew his friend as well as he thought he did, whoever was responsible for the incident would have to be carried out on a stretcher before the end of the night. 

“I’ll watch the first floor,” Noah volunteered. That way, he could keep an eye on you as well and make sure you were safe.  

“I’ll help,” offered Bryan. 

“Okay,” said Jolly, nodding. “We still need someone to cover the basement.” 

“I’ll tell Matt,” said Ruffilo. 

Jolly took a second to look each man in the eye. “Everyone at this party is getting home safe, except for the guy responsible. Got it?” 

“Got it,” said Noah, the same answer echoing around the back porch from the other men. And with that, each person went to their respective stake out locations. 

Once inside, Noah began scanning the crowd for unfamiliar faces and women who seemed out of sorts. 

There were a few new guys Noah didn’t recognize, and they all seemed to congregate in a group. These men definitely weren’t part of the normal crowd—he could tell by their button-downs they were probably more comfortable at a frat house. He marked them as potential suspects, but made sure not to focus only on them in case he missed something. 

There were a few women that looked drunk, but not to the point where they were incoherent or falling over themselves, which led Noah to believe that the perpetrator hadn’t struck again yet. 

He circled around the room, keeping close to the walls, eyes trained on the crowd. 

“Hey.” Someone clapped him on the shoulder and he turned to see an incredulous-looking Folio. “I thought you were staying home. What gives?” 

Noah sniffed, wrinkling his face in disgust for what was probably a very valid question.. It definitely wasn’t fair of Noah, but then again, Folio had kissed you. “That’s not important. We’ve got trouble.”

Nick’s brows furrowed. “What is it?”  

“Someone might be spiking drinks,” he said slowly, only half-focused because if Nick was here with him, then… 

“Where is….,” he trailed off. 

“She ran into some friends from her World History class,” said Nick. “They’re in the kitchen last I saw.” 

Noah’s heart fell to his stomach, throat tightening uncomfortably. 

“How could you leave her alone?!” he scolded, throwing Nick’s hand off his shoulder. “You were supposed to look after her!” 

Rather than wait for an answer, Noah began frantically searching the party, trying to catch sight of you. 

“She wanted to talk to her friend,” Nick defended, weaving his way through partygoers to catch up. “I didn’t know.” 

But Noah was already halfway across the room after spotting you leaning next to the counter. 

Noah knew he was being too hard on Nick. He’d apologize once he’d made sure you were okay and could calm down, but right now that wasn’t his priority. 

He almost caught up to you. But then he spotted the group you were talking with. Two men he didn’t recognize. He thought better of it and decided to hang back and observe.

You were laughing with the other men. It looked like there was another girl with you as well. Noah wrinkled his nose again. Something about the men had him raising his hackles. 

“Noah,” Nick called, having caught up to him. “I’m sorry, man. I really didn’t—,” 

“—We’ll talk about it later,” Noah cut him off. “Do you see those guys?” he said, nodding over to where you were chatting with the group. “There’s something off.” 

And indeed there was something off. Nick agreed. One of them—a younger guy in a blue baseball cap and a pink collared shirt shifted nervously. It could be because he was talking to a beautiful woman, but Noah continued to eye him suspiciously. . 

Noah and Nick took turns. One watched the four of you chatting, while the other scoured the room for any other potential suspects. 

Unfortunately, it didn’t take long to figure out why the men had Noah on-edge. 

“There!” Nick pointed. Noah turned just in time to see the man’s hand hover over the drink in your friend’s hand. 

For a brief moment, everything seemed to happen in slow motion. The girl brought her drunk up to her lips, and in less than five strides, Noah’s legs had carried him over, hand coming up to take the drink from her on its own accord. 

“Noah!” you said in surprise, but Noah didn’t acknowledge you. 

“You don’t mind if I have a sip of this, do you?” he said. 

The man in question squared his jaw, puffing his chest out, but Noah could smell coward all over him. 

“What the fuck, man?!” the stranger said, “That’s her drink.” 

“Is it?” said Noah, bringing the drink up to hover near his lips. 

Noah’s stare bored a hole into the perpetrator’s face. The guy was plain-looking, the kind you’d find six replicas of at any boat party. He had barely any distinguishing features, save for a soft jaw and a bulbous nose exaggerated by the sneer on his face. He looked rather punchable, in Noah’s opinion. 

“You don’t think this drink is compromised, do you?” Noah continued. 

The fucker at least had the intelligence to stay silent. That was the only thing going for him. 

By that point, the small group of people nearby had stopped whatever they were doing to watch the altercation. 

“Dean, what’s going on?” the girl asked. “What is this guy talking about?” 

“Yeah Dean, what’s going on?” Noah parroted, not taking his eyes off the despicable face in front of him. 

Dean narrowed his eyes. 

“Go on, tell her,” he goaded. His voice held all the vitriol he felt, words coming out laced with poison. He hoped each of them stung. 

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” said Dean. It was a pathetic defense, and one Noah was already prepared to counter. 

Noah pouted, face painted with false sympathy. “Are you saying you didn’t slip something into her drink just now?” 

“What?!” said Dean, and he had the nerve to look offended. He didn’t have the acting chops to pull it off though, and there was still an underlying panic in his eyes. “That’s ridiculous. I’d never do something like that.” 

“So drink it,” said Noah, shoving the cup right into the man’s sternum. It splashed over the rim, soaking the pink shirt in the sticky, blue liquid. Dean brought his hand up to catch the cup as Noah let go, scowling. 

“I’m not drinking someone else’s drink,” he said. 

“Why not?” asked Noah. 

“Because I’m not an asshole. I don’t steal other people’s drinks,” he said, growing more heated in his defense. 

It was the wrong thing to say to Noah. 

“Drink it,” Noah seethed, “or I’ll take it and force—,” 

“—Noah?” your soft voice cut through his anger and for a moment, everything stopped. 

He watched it happen in slow motion. You stumbled, nearly falling over onto the kitchen floor and Nick rushed to catch you. He managed to keep your head from hitting, but you sank hard to your knees. 

Noah looked from you to the man in front of him. All the noise from the party got out of the room as if in a vacuum, replaced with a high-pitched ringing. Red washed over his vision. 

A moment later, his fist connected with flesh. 

Then the sound came rushing back. Shouting erupted from all around him. From inside him. 

“You. Mother. Fucker,” he spat, punctuating each word with another blow to the man’s chin. He didn’t remember how they got into that position, but they were on the floor now, Noah straddling his chest with one fist clutching the collar of Dean's shirt, his other cracking repeatedly against his jawbone. Dean’s head snapped back with each blow, ricocheting off the floor with sickening thuds. 

Within seconds, people were on Noah, pulling him off. Noah fought hard, blinded by rage and the all-consuming need to see this man pay for his crimes. 

“Noah!” someone shouted, but he couldn’t tell who. “Noah, stop.” 

Hands gripped his arms, slowing him, but he still managed to get another two blows in before he was lifted off, but not before he dealt a hard knee to the guy’s groin. 

He fought against the arms of his captors, desperately trying to break free so he could have another go, but by that point, it was three against one and he was out of steam. 

“Relax, man. Relax. You got him. He’s down,” someone was saying. He finally recognized one of the voices as Jolly’s. He twisted around to see the faces of Ruffilo and Bryan holding him by the arms and waist to restrict his movements. 

“Let me go,” he commanded, still breathing heavily. The adrenaline coursed through his veins but had ebbed enough that he could feel the first throbs of pain in his hand. 

He looked over to the man, seeing nothing but a bloody pulp for a face. Either he had been knocked out or he was in shock because he wasn’t moving. 

“Noah, listen to me,” Jolly said, moving in front of him to block his vision. “You have to leave. We’re calling the cops. You can’t be here when they arrive.” 

Noah struggled once more against Ruffilo and Bryan, but it was useless. 

“You have a record,” Jolly continued. “You and Folio have to go. They can’t know you were involved.” 

Still breathing hard, he looked around. For what? He didn’t know. 

“Take Folio and get out of here. Go home. If anyone asks, you were asleep. We’ll vouch for you.” 

It took a few minutes for the reality of the situation to sink in. Noah already had a record. If he was caught at the scene, he could be charged with aggravated assault and end up doing time. His word against some frat guy, probably with a rich father who could afford a lawyer. 

Noah nodded. “I’m good. You can let me go.” 

Jolly stared hard into Noah’s eyes, undoubtedly looking for any sign of incoherence before nodding at Ruffilo and Bryan, who released him. 

He glanced over to Nick, who propped you up with his arms underneath yours. The two locked eyes for a moment, and then Noah sighed, slinging an arm around your waist. 

“Let’s get her home.” 

Together, they carried you out of the door and down the front steps. Inside, they could hear a commotion building. Jolly was surely informing guests that the police were being called, and that anyone underage needed to leave. They were probably also checking to make sure nobody else was in danger. 

“Do you know where her dorm is?” Noah asked Nick, struggling to keep you upright. Every few moments, you would come to. You’d mutter something incoherent, or pause to vomit along the sidewalk, and then go back into a catatonic state. 

“Rose Hall,” said Nick, and Noah tried not to let himself be bothered that Folio knew that detail before he did. 

“Where are her keys?” he asked, stopping to see if you had them clipped to you anywhere. None of your clothes had pockets to search. 

“I think she had a purse with her. She probably left it back at Jolly’s,” answered Nick. 

“Shit,” said Noah, chewing on his lip. “Does she have a roommate we could call?” 

“I think so, but she said her roommate went home for Christmas break already,” Nick answered, looking more and more guilty the farther they got from Jolly’s. Noah wondered if he was feeling guilty for letting you out of his sight.

“Noah, I’m really sorry,” he said, confirming Noah’s suspicions. “I never meant to put her in danger. I just didn’t want to hover all night in case she wanted some independence. I never even considered someone would be drugging people.” 

“Don’t apologize to me,” said Noah, shifting your weight on him so that your arm was over his shoulder and he could grip you by the waist. His voice came out colder than he wanted. “Tell her.” 

“I will,” said Nick. “As soon as she’s awake tomorrow, I’ll tell her.” 

The difference in height between Nick, Noah, and you made it all the more difficult to carry you, and the two of them struggled to get you down the street. 

“Let’s take her to our place,” said Noah. “She can have my bed.” 

Nick look like he wanted to protest, but thought better of it when you raised your head and vomited down the front of your shirt. Your feet dragged on the ground behind you as Nick and Noah trudged the few blocks it took to get back to their place. Noah prayed nobody would see them and think they were up to no good. 

Once they’d successfully gotten you inside, they took you to the bathroom to clean you up. Noah tenderly wiped your face and neck with a wet washcloth, careful not to rub too hard with the rough surface. 

Nick propped you up on his lap while Noah tilted your head backwards over the edge of the tub so he could run cups full of water over your hair and rinse out some of the vomit that had caught in the strands. 

You woke up again midway through, and they had just enough time to turn you back over so you could vomit once more into the bathtub. After a while, it was just dry heaving, and Noah surmised that the contents of your stomach had finally been emptied and you had nothing left to vomit up. 

“We gotta get her changed,” said Nick. 

Noah was aware. He’d been putting it off because he knew he’d have to remove your clothes, and the last thing he wanted was for you to be violated any more than you’d already been. 

“I’ll do it,” Noah volunteered. 

“Why you?” asked Nick. Apparently something about the idea triggered his discomfort. 

“Because I’ve…,” he began, “…seen her. Already.” 

Nick’s eyes went wide. “You,” he began, but then restarted. “She let you…and then you ghosted?” 

Noah exhaled heavily through his nostrils. If Nick wanted to have this talk, he wasn’t going to shy away from it. 

“Say what you have to say.” 

Nick’s jaw muscle twitched. “You treated her like shit,” he said. “You used her. I don’t like the idea of you seeing her like that.” 

Noah nodded. “I know. But if it comes between someone who’s already seen everything and someone who hasn’t, I feel like this is less of a violation.” 

“I don’t like it,” said Nick, shaking his head.  

Noah threw his hands out to his sides in frustration. “I don’t like it either, Nick. I don’t like any of this, but the girl needs to be taken care of, okay? She’s been through a lot. Both of us broke her trust,” Nick winced at that, “and the best we can do now is get her in bed, safely, without doing any more damage. I doubt she’d want someone else seeing her body, so this is the best solution I have.” 

Nick let out a forceful, frustrated sigh, crossing his arms and working his jaw. “Don’t look any more than you have to.” 

Noah scoffed. “What kind of person do you take me for?”  

Nick shrugged, but didn’t say anything, so Noah carried you off to his room and sat you down on the floor. 

He found the biggest, softest t-shirt of his that he could find and brought it over, crouching down at your side. 

Gently, he lifted the hem of your shirt, catching sight of the  band logo. He’d laugh if the situation weren’t so heavy. There was no way this was your shirt. He knew for a fact you’d never listen to a band like Norma Jean. 

Noah tried to avert his eyes as much as possible while he slipped the soiled shirt off your body and replaced it with the fresh one. He did catch a glance though, and was immediately brought back to that night the other week during the video chat, when you’d trusted him with your body, right before he broke that trust. He’d give anything to have had this second glimpse be under better circumstances. 

Next, he removed your skirt, which had also gotten vomit on it, and was grateful to find that you were wearing shorts underneath so he didn’t have to worry about covering you up. 

Then he got to work unlacing your boots and sliding them off your feet, and for a second, he was reminded of an old parable he’d heard before leaving the church. He couldn’t remember the details of the story, but it was something about a woman washing Jesus’s feet with her hair? Something like that. And then Jesus returned the favor by washing her feet. And it was a weird story, but the takeaway, or at least what he took away from it, was that there was a sort of holiness in humble servitude. 

He felt that now, as he picked your limp body up and tucked you neatly into his bed. He only wished there was more he could do.  ________

Nick knocked softly at his door, padding in before waiting for an answer. Noah was seated on the floor, slumped against the side of the bed. He must have dozed off. 

“Thought you could use this,” Nick said, placing an empty bucket beside the bed. “And this.” He set a tall glass of water and a bottle of acetaminophen on the nightstand before sitting on the floor opposite Noah. 

They sat in uncomfortable silence for several minutes before Nick finally broke it. 

“So,” he began. “You came to the party after all.” 

Noah knew this was coming. He didn’t have the skills to articulate a good answer though, so he just nodded. 

“After I specifically asked you to stay home.” 

Noah nodded again. 

“And you had agreed to stay home.” 

Noah nodded a third time. 

“Why?” he asked. 

Noah chewed on his lip, looking over to regard the softness of your sleeping form. You looked peaceful, despite the ordeal you’d just been through. 

“You know why,” he said, lowly. It wasn’t meant to sound aggressive. Just honest. 

Nick sighed, fixing Noah with a hard stare. He kept his voice low so as to not wake you. Not that you were in any danger of remembering anything that happened. 

“Did you see us?” Nick asked. His expression was guarded. Noah couldn’t get a read on him. 

“Yes,” he said, keeping his tone steady. He was angry, and he knew that, but he didn’t want it to come across to Nick. 

“And?” he said. 

“And what?” said Noah, failing to keep his tone level. “You’re both single. You may as well hook up.” 

“We didn’t hook up,” said Nick. “I was never going to sleep with her. I just wanted to show her a good time.” 

Noah rolled his eyes. “Sure.” 

“Noah, this was your idea. You told me to spend time with her. Said I’d be a good influence,” Nick said, exasperation for his friend creeping into his voice. “I don’t know what you want from me.” 

Noah sighed, leaning back and knocking his head gently against his nightstand. He stared up at the ceiling, as if it held the answers he was looking for.  “You didn’t have to kiss her.” 

Noah could practically hear the eye-roll from Nick. 

“If I didn’t, someone else would have,” he argued. “There’s no way to keep her sheltered while you figure out what it is you want. And even if there was, what would that make you? Just another man trying to control her.” 

Noah scoffed, hating what Nick was insinuating, but not having a solid argument against it. 

“Yeah, but you didn’t have to kiss her.” 

Nick scrubbed a palm over his face in frustration. “Look Noah,” he began. “I respected you when you started getting close to her. I kept my distance. I even stayed out of your way during community service so you could get to know her. But then you bailed, and she needed someone to lean on. She’s going through a lot with this church shit.” 

Noah’s stomach turned, guilt seeping into his bloodstream. He tried not to focus on it, chewing on the inside of his cheek while Nick continued. 

“This girl has been sheltered her entire life. She’s only just now starting to explore. I’ve seen girls like her get in over their heads way too quickly because they’ve been repressed for so long, and asshole swoops in to take advantage of it. Then they get their first taste of freedom and lose themselves like that,” Nick said, snapping his fingers for effect. 

“You’ve been that guy, though,” said Noah. “We both have.” 

Nick paused, deflating for a moment as he reflected. He closed his eyes. “I know. I’m not proud of it.” He looked back at Noah. “But I’m trying to do better. That kiss was not about me trying to exploit a weakness.” 

“Then what was it?” spat Noah, knowing Nick’s words made sense but still not wanting to believe them. He wanted to be angry with Nick. It was so much easier than the alternative, which was to consider the role he played in his own suffering. 

“She’s exploring her sexuality. I wanted to be a safe person for her to do that with.” 

“Jesus,” whined Noah, slumping back against the nightstand. “Do you have to come after me like that?” 

They both knew what Noah meant: you’d already tried exploring your sexuality with Noah, and they both saw how well he’d handled that. 

Noah refocused on the guilt that had been coursing through him, allowing it to slowly settle into a quiet humility. He really had been the asshole in the scenario without even meaning to be. Not just to you, but to Nick as well. 

“I feel like I owe you an apology,” he admitted. “I didn’t trust that you were taking care of her.” 

Nick raised a gentle palm. “No need. I didn’t give you many reasons to trust.” 

“Still,” Noah said. “I’m gonna try to keep my cool more.”  

The corner of Nick’s mouth lifted into a polite, yet disbelieving smirk. “If you say so,” he said., then refocused his attention on Noah’s face. 

“What do you want moving forward?” he asked. 

Noah shrugged. 

“I don’t know.”  

“Are you sure?” implored Nick. 

Noah looked back at his friend, his last remaining defenses crumbling under Nick’s steady gaze. “I don’t know what I want. From you. From her. From myself,” he said. “And you’re right. I asked you to show her a good time. I shouldn’t get mad at you for doing exactly that. I’m just…,” he trailed off. 

“Confused?” Nick offered. 

“Confused,” he affirmed, hanging his head and staring at his shoes. 

“It’s okay to have feelings for her,” Nick said hesitantly, as if he were trying to coax a feral cat from its hiding space without spooking it. 

Noah looked back up to find Nick eyeing him with sympathy, and his gut seized uncomfortably because it felt gross, like a slime coating his skin. He tried to breathe through the feeling instead of running from it, thinking back to a quote he read in one of the many self-help articles he’d been scouring over the past week. 

Let the light in. That’s how the light gets in. 

Noah was not good at letting the light in. He much preferred to keep himself in the dark. Every time someone offered to meet a need of his or show him love in a way that he didn’t anticipate or wasn’t prepared for, he rejected it. Either brushed it off with humor or outright ignored it. 

He walked through life with a chip on his shoulder, feeling sorry for himself because he’s never known love. Truth is, he could have known love. He’s had many opportunities to know love, but he constantly rejected it whenever it was offered, because anger and bitterness felt safer. More familiar.

He thought back to the times in his life where he’d wanted love. He pictured his nine-year-old self, crying alone in his room and wanting nothing more than to be comforted by parents who instead yelled at him for his emotional outbursts. 

What would have happened if that nine-year-old had just been hugged? Would the trajectory of his life have changed? Would he be more capable of holding a relationship? More receptive to love? 

He nearly choked. That was a can of worms he wasn’t sure he wanted to go near. Opening himself to love would mean opening himself up to processing that pain, and that scared him. 

He exhaled a deep breath, running his fingers over the fibers of the shaggy white carpet that covered the floor of his bedroom. 

Running from it, however, was holding him back. He knew it. His friends had noticed, and had long grown tired of that behavior pattern. He’d had opportunities to heal before and had refused, choosing instead to stay closed off, and he could tell his support system was running low on patience.

If he was ever going to grow into the man he wanted to be—the man you deserved, it started with choosing to let the light in, regardless of how uncomfortable it was. 

Nick’s sympathy turned Noah’s stomach sour. His over-inflated ego observed it as pity he neither needed, nor cared to indulge. His knee-jerk reaction was to object and disregard it, too proud to have needs. But as much discomfort as it caused, he begrudgingly allowed himself to receive what his friend was trying to offer. 

The light wouldn’t get in on its own. He had to choose to let it in, and that required effort. 

“I do have feelings for her,” he acknowledged. “I don’t know why that’s so hard for me to admit. And I don’t know why I’ve been acting this way.” 

Nick sighed, visibly relaxing now that Noah had accepted his offering, and Noah sighed as well. The icky, slimy feeling he’d registered at the first sign of Nick’s sympathy slowly started to melt into something warmer and more comforting. His nervous system finally started to pull back from the edge it had been operating on for who knows how long. 

“That’s okay,” Nick said, cracking a grin. “Feelings are hard to navigate. They cause people to act like idiots sometimes.” 

“No kidding,” Noah agreed, mirroring Nick’s smile. 

It felt good and humbling to finally admit. Noah could use a bit of humbling. Over the years, his biggest defense mechanism had become his pride. It had grown out of control, looking down on people who asked to get their needs met—dismissing them as weak and pitiful for not being able to make it on their own the way Noah had. 

He shook his head, chuckling bitterly to himself. 

“What are you laughing at?” whispered Nick. The hour had grown late and Noah was tired, but he was enjoying Nick’s company. 

“I’ve been such an idiot,” he said, looking back up at Nick. “How have you been able to live with me all this time?” 

Nick shrugged, grinning at his friend. “It’s not easy. But you’re not all bad. You just need some sense knocked into ya’.” 

“You guys are way more patient than I’ve given you credit for,” he said, feeling gratitude for his friends.

Nick snorted, quickly covering his mouth and nose to not wake you up. “I could get used to this Noah,” he said. “It’s a nice change.” 

“Don’t get too excited,” said Noah. “I’m still an asshole at heart.” 

Nick chuckled, standing to wipe off his pants and grabbing the pile of your vomit-ridden clothes. “It stinks in here. I’m gonna throw these in the wash and then head to bed. You got this?” he asked. 

Noah nodded. “I can take it from here.” 

Nick fixed him with one last serious look. “Be good to her. She’s one of the better ones, and for some fuckin’ reason, she seems to like you.” 

Noah laughed softly. “Turn the light off when you leave.” 

Nick did, and Noah sat in the dark, mulling over the events that had taken place that night. He’d have to have a very difficult conversation with you when you woke up, and he was not looking forward to that. 

What he was looking forward to, however, was an opportunity to repair some of the damage he’d done. 

Hopefully you’d let him.  ___________ All rights reserved to @doomhands-jr, 2024. Do not copy, repost or translate. A/N: I'm so sorry! I will give MC the ending she deserves, don't worry! She'll have her day in the sun. She's just gotta get through some stuff first.

Next chapter is almost finished. Will be up soon.

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[lonelydragonlady]

Glistening. Sweat dripping. Soaked. Slippery. Oh. My. Fucking. God. 🥵🥵 why are you never real? I’m just never going to be fulfilled dammit.

What a time to be alive 🥹

📸 kourtkrys

[lonelydragonlady]

I ran across a thread on Spicy Booktok about Doberman boyfriends and I think that fits Noah. Looks scary, scared of everything, introvert, only likes you, very sensitive and a lover. That seems very Noah coded to me.

[lonelydragonlady]

Imagining Noah Sebastian as an Illyrian is making me hot under the collar. Tattoos. Wings. Sex. Those eyes. 👀 🥵🥵🥵