#is this even an autistic thing?
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When I obsess over a character, I unconsciously start acting like them. This can consist of me copying their mannerisms, habits, or personality I guess.
Well, right now, I am obsessing over Abed from Community, so I've been copying his mannerisms such like his head and eye movements (like when he tilts his head in thought, which is something I already do but now I'm doing it in a more similar way), and I find this funny because he also acts like characters from his favourite shows/movies.
Just two autistic folks pretending to be fictional characters
#communicating through acting like fictional characters was something I did not notice I did until I started watching community#i remember trying to act like Hawks from mha last school year during a presentation bc i could not be myself#i literally had to try and be someone else just so I wouldn't have a mental breakdown#well it didn't work bc i still stuttered and messed up my words but not as badly#abed nadir#community nbc#nbc community#community#jeff winger#britta perry#troy barnes#shirley bennett#pierce hawthorne#annie edison#autism#actually autistic#autistic things#is this even an autistic thing?#idk im saying that it is
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please i love you i'm begging you bring back suspension of disbelief bring back trusting the audience like. i cannot handle any more dialogue that sounds like a legal document. "hello, i am here to talk to you about the incident from a few minutes ago, because i feel you might be unwell, and i am invested in your personal wellbeing." "thank you, i am unwell because the incident was hurtful to me due to my childhood, which was bad." I CANT!!!!
do you know how many people are mad that authors use "growled" as a word for "said"? it's just poetics! they do not literally mean "growled," it's just a common replacement for "said with force but in a low tone." it's normal! do you hear me!! help me i love you please let me out of here!!!
#i am so sick of writers having to anticipate the most boring#bad-faith readings of their work. i am like - if you use cheese as a currency#okay! as long as the world makes sense to me: cool. cheese tax. moving on.#my job as the reader is to suspend my disbelief and say okay! i am so sick of like#fanfiction authors having to write dissertations#because they had an interesting idea they'd like to try out!!!#just write it! if it doesn't make sense that's someone else's problem!!!#PS OP is autistic. yes sometimes i take things literally at first glance. then i think about it lol#this is so clearly not about accessibility etc. it's about like. girl even i an autistic person#am able to understand ''they probably didn't mean his eyes darkened LITERALLY''
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the way people online talk about autism is getting really weird, like do they know that neurotypicals still have interests? that someone being passionate about a hobby doesn't mean they're autistic? you guys know that right
#woof#like self diagnosis is one thing#but saying someone is autistic because they talk about a specific hobby a lot is weird (and waters down the actual definition of autism)#and its no different than saying someone has ocd bc they organize their books alpabetically#or saying someone has ADHD because they got distracted by something#and people who aren't even autistic are honestly getting way too comfortable with autism jokes
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I WAS FUCKING RIGHT
people who disagree or made me embarassed to have had headcanons about this are LOSERS
as i said as soon as i saw this on twitter:
''I KNEW IT I KNEW IT I KNEW IT I KNEW ITTT I K N E W IT I FUCKING WON!!! I MAY SUCK AT FNAF THEORIES BUT I FUCKING WON AT THIS ONE LETS FUCKING GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO god anyways i love kellen he was an inspo before the dca existed- this guy is such a goat!! autism icon!!''
@basyacriptid i'm fucking losing my shit sorry if u already saw this
#dca#fav#moondrop#sundrop#fnaf#security breach#ok this might not be CANON but it FUCKING IS TO ME#IM SO PROUD OF MYSELF for making that video such a long ass time ago about moon being autistic#a person even came to me and refered to me as the ''person who did the autistic moon thing''
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hey autistic people who get overwhelmed by large groups or noise or conversation or etc etc etc you’re not evil for wanting to leave a family gathering. just so you know.
#additionally hard when you have no diagnosis#people just think im “antisocial” and “rude”#while im over here completely burnt out#because the whole room is talking and the tv is loud and all the lights are on and every kid in the house is shrieking about something#and whoever you came with(looking at you parents) acts like you’re evil and hate your family when you even ask when you’re leaving#autism#actually autistic#autistic#autism spectrum disorder#autistic things#asd#autistic community#undiagnosed autistic#undiagnosed neurodivergent#undiagnosed autism#neurodiversity#neurodivergent#neurodiverse stuff#neurospicy#neurodivergence#neurodivergencies
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a moment of silence for all us disabled ones who had to watch each of their friends move on with their lives without you and get jobs, go to school, have partners come and go, get engaged and move house etc.
shout out to my fellow struggling people who are still sitting in the same bedroom they grew up in. the ones who can't get a job, can't make new friends, can't find a partner or partners, can't move house and can't go to school.
I hope one day we can all find someone to at least sit with us in our rooms. I see you and I understand... and I'm sorry we can't be that person for each other
#hell o void#hell o hadal#disabled#disability#invisible disability#nuerodivergent#nuerodiversity#mental health#agoraphobia#depression#anxiety#chronic pain#chronic fatigue#autistic#autism#i know this applies to more people but i am too tired to think of more tags and i really need to stop posting and do other things#but this is something i struggle with constantly and cant get over so#about#it hurts even more knowing that my friends who have done this are also disabled#like.... what do you mean they can overcome their disabilities and have lives why the fuck cant i do that
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i love swiss ghoul bc he's rly just a ghoul and his tambourine against the world
#i am so autistic it's not even funny#i am incapable of liking things a normal amount#swiss ghoul#the band ghost#nameless ghouls#swiss ghoul ate my gender like a feral cat in front of me and i've never been the same#ghost#shitghosting
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In the same vein as "I've been taking my medication for long enough that I haven't experienced any symptoms in a while, I must not need to take it anymore! (Spoiler alert: the meds are why you haven't had symptoms)" I present to you a similarly clownish thought process- "I haven't experienced that trigger in a long time, maybe I was just exaggerating how bad it was and it'll be fine to engage with this! (Spoiler alert: take a fucking guess babes)"
#on a definitely unrelated note the contamination obsessive thoughts are in fact still there and still upsetting#turns out when you take care to avoid things that trigger and upset you...#those things still trigger and upset you even if youve avoided them for a while#😱🤯#ptsd#cptsd#trauma#recovery#disabled#autistic adult#actually autistic#<- idk if thats a good tag or not it just came up suggested when i typed autism so#ocd#<- not dxed and not even sure if i feel comfy self dxing w ocd but i definitely have upsetting obsessive + compulsive tendencies + thoughts#that i struggle with a lot so#medication#trauma recovery#triggers#arfid#disability#neurodivergent#neurodiversity#audhd
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I won't be able to finish this drawing before the convention, which will take up my next 5 days.. But I want to talk a little about him.. I've been thinking about golems and Frankenstein, and the trans body, projection and misunderstanding, villainization and death.
The concepts of Frankenstein's monster and the golem have been swimming in my head for a while, and their lore intertwining.. The tragedy of existing being seen as a monster no matter how you try,.. And the Golem, a protector of his people and a servant whose only flaw always rang a bit close to home as an an autistic person-- being too literal in execution of his orders. He's tired and struggles with a yearning for death. His havdalah candles will be out.. The first flame of the week, a spark of starting over again-- The flame brings him fear. As much as he's kept himself together he doesn't know how much longer he can keep doing it, he fears failure- but the fear of what may happen if he's gone is even more terrifying. He's lived a long life, and over time the one who formed him has sculpted him to the golem's own wishes.. From nothing to the man he is- but even with that effort, to outsiders he's still a monster. His skin is different shades of clays from varying riverbeds as his people have travelled.. Golems are unformed, imperfect.. but even as outsides can be polished the insides can still be broken
#i have a million thoughts on him but will only put a little ramble i guess#jewish art#trans art#you ever think about how no matter how hard you try as a trans person at the end of the day a large amount of people will still see you#as trans. doesnt matter how acceptable you look#the same thing is with jewishness for me.. it's been like a damage multiplier on top of transness.#it doesnt matter how nice i try to be or how caring. it doesnt matter how many good things i do im still a jew to a large amount of people#even within the queer community haha :') ive felt it so often in queer communities here.#this little guy is gonna be where i store that experience as a trans jew. it goes in the frankengolem#i like the thought of frankenstein's fear of fire being incorporated into him in his fear of both rest and havdalah..#he doesnt feel safe to rest. he dreads the new week. his entire life he spends in dread even if he wants to protect his loved ones#gently pats the top of his head.. this boy's autistic#long text#bare chest#death#cw death#tw death#just in case
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The Ryoko Kui interview's reception is such a disaster over a pretty normal (yet still flawed) interview between a non-Japanese fan and Japanese artistic. This is discourse for discourse's sake, and it's no surprise that almost every Twitter user I've looked at who's using this interview to parade Kui around as a goated mangaka standing strong against Western ideology is anti-trans.
Like, I do think the interview was kinda wonky with its focus on fandom culture, which Kui clearly didn't have much interest in. But sometimes that happens. Sometimes interactions between two people, especially a fan and a creator, two people who view and interact with a piece of media in completely opposite perspectives, don't click. Does this really need to get blown up into a "West vs. East culture war" issue.
Anyways, Kui saying "I don't consider my audience's interpretations when writing. I leave it to their imaginations, but I have my own read on things too" is the healthiest, most normal thing an artist/writer who wants a non-parasocial audience could say. Artists and writers use this line all the time. If Kui didn't enjoy autistic Laius or Farcille headcanons, she would have probably voiced/signalled her discomfort, like she did on the topic of Senshi fanservice. Overall, Kui handled the interview really well. Props to her to sticking to her guns and keeping a healthy disconnect from the fandom. While I think the interviewer could've/should've been more tactful and restrained, the flaws in their questions is not a symptom of the woke mind virus trying to wriggle its way into the pure Japanese psyche. It's the sign of an over-eager fan who sees a piece of fiction differently than its creator.
#personal#delete later#this isn't even worth talking about in depth#but it's crazy that we're rehashing the “artist intent vs fan interpretation” crap again.#read stuart hall's encoding/decoding.#is it so terrible that laius reads to nd people as autistic even though the writer wasn't thinking about it#is that really something to criticize#also you may think the last sentence is me exaggerating but that's literally what the twt discourse is about#anyways i feel bad for the interviewer who's getting harassed over this#i'm seeing every side of discourse be super uncharitable toward them because it's funnier to make them sound outta touch and confrontationa#like. i'm seeing posts from cool people making the interviewer look like they asked “why did you make laius autistic??”#when the actual text of the interview goes “a lot of nd people interpreted laius as autistic. did you have that in mind when writing him?”#and obviously i think a lot of fandom people upset about this are weird too. joking that kui. a real person. is probably autistic is weird#but who am i more willing to criticize. the overeager parasocial fans taking things a too far and making things kinda weird#or the “kill the woke mind virus” weeabo/otaku terfs who still use the r-slur against queer/nd teen anime fans
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We don't talk enough about the fact that Amelia Pond, s5 Amelia Pond, before the timeline is reset, isn't just a normal orphan. Her parents didn't die, didn't abandon her, and didn't send her away. They never existed in the first place.
And if her parents never existed, then Amelia cannot exist. She is a causal impossibility.
"People fall out of the world sometimes, but they always leave traces." A photograph. A face carved into an apple. Yes. Sure.
A child.
Now that's too big, surely.
But that's what she is. She is exactly the same as these things. A trace. An echo of something that could never be, never was, never could have been.
And the universe should never allow it. A whole person, that's just too much. She could not have continued to exist indefinitely, in normal circumstances, after her parents never existed.
In normal circumstances.
Because the Doctor didn't just save her from things coming out of the crack in her wall. He saved her from going into it. And he didn't just save her from the threat of going into it simply because of its vicinity.
No, by arriving when he did, he interrupted a process that was probably already in motion. And then by arriving again only moments later on a cosmic relative timestream (too quickly for the process to complete) and yet in the local relative timestream, years later --- years of a potential future caught midway through the process of rewriting -- he solidified that existence. Amy is a creature from another timeline, caught in amber. The Doctor prevented her from never existing, but only after she could already never exist.
And so, no one around Amelia thinks about it. Neither does she. There's some kind of consciousness block, because if you thought about it, really thought about it, for two seconds you'd realize she cannot exist. And the human mind can't deal with that. So, to protect itself, everyone's brain simply slides off it before ever noticing. They just assume that her existence makes sense, and don't question it, and don't notice what they don't question, that is staring them in the face.
But of course, to some extent they do notice. They can't think it, but they notice subconsciously that there's something they can't think. They notice there's something wrong with her, something uncanny. And they don't like it, and they alienate her even more because of it.
"Does it ever bother you Pond that your life existence doesn't make any sense?"
#like!!!!!! why arent we talking about this!!!!!!!#amelia pond#amy pond#the ultimate autism metaphor on top of being autistic anyway#doctor who#dw#ndw#dw theory#lavender thoughts#SHE CAN'T EXIST SHE IS LITERALLY IMPOSSIBLE#you called clara the impossible girl but that's amy#and THEN the fact that even after it's all set right#she remains shaped by -- remains deeply traumatized by -- a timeline that never happened; a reality that never was#AUGH !!!!!#some wounds just can't heal even if the thing that caused them never existed in the first place#some wounds remain as a TRACE of the other time just as you yourself were once#THE mental illness rep of all time#and in the big bang of course the doctor had to take the shortcut because if they'd all gone the long way round#she'd have been gone before he got there#as starless universe's little amelia disappeared.... it could be millienia but from another perspective it HAD to be moments#they made it only in the nick of time#and the doctor knew that#pond#the life and times of amy pond#lavender writings
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Eloise Bridgerton being an absolute mood:
and Cressida's reaction of 'this girl is so weird, but I'm into it??? Wait am I into this??'':
#i was so sad that no one had made gifs of this moment#that i simply made one myself#i just love this almost smile cressida has here#like she can't believe eloise would just say and do this sort of thing#which kind of also adds to what she says in a later episode about eloise being courageous#she means this; eloise just being unapologetically herself without caring about whats appropriate#something cressida doesn't have the freedom to do (because she lacks the family support eloise has) but probably wishes she could#i love finding these little moments bc you can interpret so much from them even though they're only seconds long#yes i am autistic why do you ask?#eloise bridgerton#cressida cowper#creloise#bridgerton#bridgerton s3#bridgerton 3x02#gifs#my gifs#(also i don't know how to gif i did my best with what gimp can do)#bc id rather die than using something adobe makes
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Autistic and “struggling to “let go”
Neurodivergent Lou
#autism#actually autistic#struggling to let go#I feel this a lot#I just cried just thinking about it#ptsd#I want to kill myself#tw suicide#i feel so guilty#I struggle to let things go#I’m even having dreams about it#feel free to share/reblog#neurodivergent lou#feel free to share your thoughts#reblog if you want
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despite his initial rough impression, lqg gets a "fun" rating on the gege scale
#arts#mottau#dragging lqg into the autism to autism communication array#sy thinks he is so cool actually. but he will fiercely deny it if you say so#lmao stupid little baby crush#he has! a cool sword! and hes fought so many monsters! and hes called the Bai Zhan WAR GOD#and also is more lax than his other geges in letting him do stuff that toes the line of things he shouldnt be allowed to do yet#such as you know imitating sword forms when he's not supposed to touch cultivation or combat for another year#in lqg's mind theres no reason he cant practice the forms. and also he doesnt even have a practice sword let alone a real one#he will get yelled at later#can you tell that i read dun meshi and it irreversibly changed the way i draw silly little autistic smiles. bc i sure fucking can#anyways releasing this from containment since im almost done the next chapter. incentive (for myself)
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[spite] has entered the chat >:P
#my arts#dragon age#dragon age veilguard#dragon age the veilguard#dav#datv#da4#dragon age 4#veilguard#the veilguard#lucanis dellamorte#cole dragon age#manfred dragon age#dragon age cole#dragon age manfred#cole the spirit of compassion#manfred the skeleton#dragon age veilguard spoilers#<- i guess ?????#also does spite have his own tag...? idk sorry but#heard there was another spirit in the area *twirls hair and kicks feet* I LOVE YOU SPIRITS I LOVE U ABOMINATIONS I LOVE Y#this originally started as a nod to the banter about manfred being “mesmerized by the steam” while making tea#but then i made it about spite as well :] now there are THREE spirit friends (well... probs more like frenemies but yknow) :P#btw i changed coles outfit/design bc i saw the veilguard concept art of him (UGHHH MY BOY HE LOOKED SO GOOD IM DEVASTATED oTL)#also i hc that cole is very picky w food bc he seemed grossed out abt it when talking to blackwall lol#so even tho hes “used” to eating now he has a hard time w weird new things (in this case tea). autistic food aversion :]#which is extra funny in this case bc manfred (and spite) would be like “whats it like” while cole is like “...bad :(”#anyway yeah hope u guys like this one :D im very happy ppl seem to like this series(?) bc i really like drawing them !!! <3
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Welp... Just some time ago I realized that this is not what neurotypicals feel...
Bonus:
Yeah...I gotcha Don 😞
And yeah, small headcanon that Splinter was not aware of such a thing as neurodivergence, so he made a lot of bad decisions towards his sons, (despite the fact that he is the same... Come on, am I the only one who thinks so?). Therefore, for at least half of his life, Donnie (and his bros) suffered from not knowing what was happening to him and tried to be “normal”... Sad, but very realistic
Don't be afraid, Donnie gave Splinter a lecture and now he understands his fuck ups
#my art#rottmnt#sketch#rise of the tmnt#rottmnt donnie#rise donnie#autistic things#autism spectrum disorder#donnie#neurodivergent icon#neurodivergent struggles#i just found out that rubber gloves and sound cancelling headphones are making your life easier#now i even like to do the vacuum cleaning!#welp#autism things
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