#now i even like to do the vacuum cleaning!
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The way of an aggressive yet very loving househusband
Tw: Yandere themes, obsession, possessive behavior, overprotective behavior, aggression but not in the way you may think, darling has periods, abduction, this is no poly relationship by the way
Can I just say that Bakugou and Barou are basically the same type of a Yandere almost down to the tee? A type which I have decided to call the aggressive househusband.
Think about it. Both are really intimidating and scary and I wouldn't hold it against you if you would be very scared of them the first time. You see how Bakugou constantly yells at people and glares at them with his red eyes. You see how Barou completely annihilates people on the field as if this was more than just a sport and notice how he towers over anyone who annoys him off whilst glaring at them with his red eyes.
So you when you are abducted you genuinely believe the worst is going to happen. That you'll be stuck with a violent and aggressive man obsessed with you who will physically harm you and beat you up.
Only for none of that to happen.
Obviously he isn't happy to see you being so scared of him. Yes, he isn't going to deny that he is maybe a tad bit scary but you're acting like he's going to undo his belt at any moment and give you a goddamn whipping.
However, despite him being quite offended that you would put him in the same category as a fucking abuser he knows that he has to give you his patience right now. Acting right into any stereotypes you have already out him into would only harm his reputation more.
He speaks quieter and tries to sound less harsh when he's talking to you. He bends down so that both of you are on the same height or he sits down somewhere so that he is actually looking up at you whilst you are looking down on him. He gives you your space. Yes, he still checks in on you because he is considerate and not fucking stupid but he doesn't invade your privacy.
His aggressive side resurfaces as soon as chores are involved but in a way you would have never expected. He is a bloody perfectionist and no matter how you clean your room, wipe the tables or vacuum-clean the floor, you somehow never do it right. There is always something that he has to criticise. There is a spot on the mirror left from when you brushed your teeth. You forgot to clean under that little gap of your wardrobe. You didn't fold your shirts right.
The list goes on.
He doesn't hit you though and yells at you that you never do stuff right and that you're useless. No, instead he guides you promptly to the bedroom, pushes you into the mattress and just bluntly tells you that you can just watch one of the 10+ Streaming Sides he pays for whilst he is going to properly clean the goddamn house. And whilst you are sitting in bed, slightly perplexed by what just happened, he is mopping the floor and mutters occasionally about how he can't believe that you can't even clean properly. That's fine though. He can do that for you.
He cooks for you. Every day. Without fail. He hates when you go out and eat some junk food. Sure, he is guilty of eating it once in a while too but it is different when it comes to you. You shouldn't enjoy greasy and unhealthy food unless it is his greasy and unhealthy food that he has prepared for you. Don't expect him to cook you that stuff every day though. He will cook nutritious and healthy food for you and you better eat what he serves or he will be very mad and grumble about it for the entire rest of the day.
You want to go an a diet? Don't even dare to attempt any bullshit diet a beauty influencer on Instagram, YouTube or other social platforms has recommended. He happens to know the one or other thing about a diet that is actually healthy and still tastes good.
You want to try a new dish? Write him down the groceries he needs and he's the next evening in the kitchen, all ingredients tidily placed in front of him as he reads the recipe through before he starts to prepare the dish.
If you want juice he is not buying the bottles but the fruits themselves and prepares fresh juice for you. If it's orange juice you want he just squeezes every last drop out with his bare fists before he serves it in a glass to you. He generally keeps a lot of fruits and vegetables in his fridge because he likes to prepare randomly a small bowl for you so that you consume your vitamins and minerals.
You, who has lived a humble life the first twenty-something years of your life, always look at price tags when something catches your eye and as soon as you notice a number far too high with what you're comfortable to spend you just turn around.
Case closed.
Or maybe not.
Because in the next moment your lover is dragging you into the store with him, grabs whatever it is that caught your eye and then asks you with a scowl on his face if there is anything else that you would like since the two of you are already in here. Do not let yourself be mislead by that scowl on his face. What he really means to say to you is "if there is anything else you want just fucking grab it because I have the money". Honestly, who do you think is he earning all his money for nowadays?
Taxes and all other paperwork is something he mainly does. You are free to help if you insist but be aware that he is most likely going to complain about something again because there is always something he can nag about.
You never have to worry about running out of pads or tampons because he always keeps those shelves filled. As soon as you're down one package a new one magically appears the next day. He's not one of those guys who feels embarrassed about buying this stuff for you. I mean, who is going to make fun of him? Most people are in general far too scared to comment about it when they see him standing in line with packages of pads in his basket.
He ensures that you have all your needed doctor appointments. A general health check. A visit at your gynaecologist. A visit at the dentist. All of that at least twice a year so that he can see it through that something is treated the moment it is spotted.
When you're sick he is the best person to take care of you. He doesn't judge you for your terrible mood, the coughs, the sneezes or other symptoms you may experience. However, he is going to bully the spoon of medicine in your mouth, is going to monitor you to see it through that you consume your tablet and will carry you right back to bed and wrap you up as soon as you attempt to do something when you should rest instead.
Scary dog privilege is real with him just as much as the saying "my girl can wear whatever the fuck she wants because I can fight". It doesn't matter at which time in which location you are at, absolutely no one is getting to you with him by your side.
As soon as he notices someone giving you a weird look or oogling at you suggestively? Then it's up to you to cling to his torso as he drags you with him, red eyes promising a burial. Luckily you manage to be a voice of reason and stop him from potentially committing a crime in public.
You realise that you have severely misjudged him. Apparently you really shouldn't judge a book by its cover.
#yandere my hero academia#yandere mha#yandere boku no hero academia#yandere bnha#yandere bakugou#yandere bakugou katsuki#yandere blue lock#yandere bllk#yandere barou#yandere barou shoei#yandere x reader#my hero academia x reader#mha x reader#boku no hero academia x reader#bnha x reader#bakugou x reader#blue lock x reader#bllk x reader#barou x reader
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NNN - matt sturniolo - family issues
!Warming! : this writing may contain sensitive topics for some people, including family fighting and burn out. please read with caution if family arguments or arguments in general easily trigger you.
You had slammed the cabinet door shut harder than you expected to. Your mothers words cutting your skin like a knife, your patience snapping like a taut rubber band that had been stretched too far. “I can’t believe you just said that.” you gritted, turning to her.
Your mom stood across the kitchen, arms crossed, her eyes narrowed in irritation. “I said what I said. You’re always lounging around, doing nothing, while I’m the one keeping this house together.” she spat out.
“Are you kidding me?” Your voice rose as you turned to face her, incredulous. “I vacuumed the whole house this morning, cleaned the bathroom, and scrubbed the kitchen. I’ve been running around all day trying to keep this place livable while you’ve been sitting on the couch!” your voice raised more — you were irritated and upset.
why can’t she just see how hard you work?
“And yet, the laundry is still sitting in the basket, isn’t it?” she shot back, her tone sharp and cutting. “You can’t even finish one thing properly!” her own hands slammed against the counter as her words left her lips.
Your hands balled into fists at your sides, shaking. “I can’t do everything! I’m one person! You don’t even notice the things I do unless there’s something left undone.” you could feel the tears brimming in your eyes — but you couldn’t let her see she was affecting you, you had to be strong.
“Oh, poor you,” she said, her voice dripping with sarcasm. “Life is so hard for you, isn’t it? You act like you’re doing me some huge favor by cleaning, but you live here too. It’s your responsibility.”
You stared at her, your chest heaving. “Do you even hear yourself? I am doing my part, and then some! You’re the one who doesn’t lift a finger but still complains that nothing’s good enough.” you choked out.
Her face twisted in anger. “Don’t you dare talk to me like that. You have no idea what I deal with every day, keeping this house running and keeping you in it!” she screamed, coming around the counter and getting closer to you,
“Keeping me in it? Are you serious right now?” you echoed, your voice trembling more with disbelief and hurt. “You act like I’m some freeloader who doesn’t contribute. I’m breaking my back trying to help you, and all you do is tear me down!” Your said. “And on top of everything, I worked a full shift this morning. What more do you want from me?”
you were trying, you really were. Did she not see that?
Her scoff was sharp, cutting through the room. “Oh, sure. You do barely the minimum and expect a medal. Maybe if you spent less time pretending to help and more time actually contributing, I wouldn’t have to ask you for money all the time!” she was almost in your face now, you could feel her breath fanning you.
You stared at her, your hands trembling with frustration as you leaned back a little. “Are you seriously throwing that in my face? Every time you ask me for money, I give it to you. Every single time. Do you even know how hard it is to keep my job and still manage everything at home?”
She shook her head. “Don’t act like you’re some kind of saint,” she snapped. “You live here. It’s your responsibility to pitch in. Or do you think you’re entitled to a free ride?”
“I do pitch in! I’m doing everything! I pay bills when you’re short, I clean up after everyone, and I still go to work to make sure I can cover my own expenses. What do you even do besides sit there and criticize me?” you snapped back, leaning forward from your leaned back position — though that might not have been the best idea.
Her nostrils flared as her eyes turned dark, and she jabbed a finger at your chest — the force digging into your skin making you wince slightly. “Don’t you dare take that tone with me. I’ve sacrificed everything for this family, and all I ask is for you to pull your weight.”
“Pull my weight?” you repeated, your body beginning to tremble more from your overwhelmed emotions. “I’ve been carrying this house on my back, and you know it! But sure, let’s pretend I’m the problem. It’s easier for you, isn’t it?” you sniffled slightly, the words barely making it past your lips and you tried to keep it together.
“You know what?” she snapped, throwing her hands up. “If you hate it here so much, then maybe you shouldn’t come back. Go find somewhere else to stay if you think you’ve got it so bad.”
Her words stung, piercing deeper than you expected. “Fine,” you said, your voice cold and steady despite the tears beginning to spill over your waterline. “I will.”
Grabbing your keys and slipping on your shoes, you muttered under your breath, “Maybe you’ll finally notice how much I actually do when I’m not here to do it anymore.”
“Don’t come crying to me when you realize how easy you have it,” she called out as you slammed the door behind you.
The cold night air hit your face, mingling with the tears that spilled over as you made your way to your car. Your hands were shaking so badly that it took three tries to get the keys into the ignition.
You barely registered the drive to Matt’s house, your mind replaying the fight over and over like a broken record. By the time you reached his front door, your tears were coming harder, the lump in your throat so heavy it hurt to swallow.
You hadn’t even raised your hand to knock when the door opened. Matt stood there in sweatpants and a hoodie, his hair tousled like he’d been lying down, but his entire demeanor shifted the moment he saw you. His brows furrowed in concern as his eyes scanned your tear-streaked face.
“Baby,” he said softly, stepping aside to let you in. “What’s wrong?”
As soon as his arms opened, you crumbled into him. The second you felt his warmth and smelled the familiar scent of his cologne — something woodsy and comforting — you broke down completely. Your hands clutched at his hoodie as your sobs wracked your body.
“Hey, hey,” he murmured, wrapping his arms around you tightly. “It’s okay. I’ve got you. Just let it out.”
He gently guided you into the living room, keeping you close as he sat down on the couch and pulled you into his lap. His large hands rubbed soothing circles on your back while his other hand cradled the back of your head.
“I-I can’t do it anymore, Matt,” you finally managed to choke out between sobs. “She doesn’t see anything I do. She doesn’t care. She just — she just keeps tearing me down.”
“Who?” he asked softly, leaning back just enough to look at you. His hand moved to cup your cheek, his thumb brushing away a stray tear. “Who’s tearing you down?”
“My mom,” you whispered, your voice breaking. “She said I don’t do anything, but I do everything. I worked this morning, cleaned the whole house, and then she asked me for money again — like she always does — and still told me I don’t pull my weight. It’s like… no matter how hard I try, it’s never enough for her.”
Matt’s jaw tightened, his eyes darkening with anger. “That’s not fair. You work so hard, and she has no right to treat you like that. I’ve seen how much you do, how much you give. You’re amazing, and if she can’t see that, then that’s on her — not you.” he said, holding you tighter to him.
You sniffled, wiping at your cheeks. “It just hurts, you know? I’ve been trying so hard to keep everything together, and she acts like I’m nothing but a burden.”
“You are not a burden,” he said firmly, tilting your chin up so you had no choice but to meet his gaze. “Do you hear me? You are not a burden. You’re one of the strongest, most selfless people I know. She doesn’t deserve you.” he stated, making sure you knew his words were true.
“But she’s my mom,” you said softly, your voice trembling. “I want to make her proud. I want her to see that I’m trying.” Matt’s expression softened, and he leaned in to rest his forehead against yours. “I know you do. But you don’t have to destroy yourself to earn someone else’s approval, especially hers. You’re enough just as you are, okay? You’re more than enough.”
You let out a shaky breath, fresh tears spilling over, but this time they weren’t just from sadness. There was something in his words, in the way he held you, that eased the tightness in your chest.
“Thank you,” you whispered. He shook his head, “You don’t have to thank me,” he said gently. “That’s what I’m here for.”
He adjusted you in his lap, tucking the blanket tighter around your shoulders before pressing a soft kiss to your temple. “Listen, you’re staying here tonight. No arguments. I’m not letting you go back there like this.” he muttered against your temple.
“I don’t want to go back,” you admitted, your voice barely above a whisper. “Then you won’t,” he said firmly. “This is your home tonight, and for as long as you need it to be.”
You rested your head against his chest, listening to the steady rhythm of his heartbeat. His hand rubbed slow, soothing circles on your back, and his voice was soft when he spoke again.
“You know you’re not alone, right? You’ve got me. Always.”
You sniffled once more. “I know,” you whispered. “I just… I feel so unappreciated sometimes. Like nothing I do matters.” you could feel the self doubt settling into you now — from your mothers words earlier. Were you really not doing a good enough job?
“It matters to me,” he said, his voice steady and sure. “Everything you do matters to me. I see you, and I’m so proud of you. You’re doing more than anyone should ever have to, and you’re doing it so well.”
You looked up at him, your heart clenching at the sincerity in his eyes. “You really mean that?”
He hummed, “Of course I do,” he said, a small smile tugging at his lips. “I’ll tell you as many times as you need to hear it until you believe me. You’re incredible, and anyone who can’t see that is blind.” And a soft laugh escaped you, he grinned, his thumb brushing your cheek. “There she is. There’s my girl.”
You felt your cheeks flush at the nickname, and for the first time all day, the tightness in your chest began to ease. “Do you want to talk more about it, or do you just want to relax?” he asked gently. “Relax,” you said after a moment. “I’m too tired to think anymore.”
“Good call,” he said with a smile, grabbing the remote from the coffee table. “How about something stupidly funny? Or do you want me to cook something for you first? I can make you those pancakes you like.” You shook your head, leaning into him. “Just stay with me.”
“Always,” he murmured, pulling you closer.
He put on some random comedy show, and you both sat in comfortable silence for a while. His hand never stopped tracing lazy patterns on your back, and every now and then, he’d drop a kiss to the top of your head. By the time you started to drift off, your body nestled against his, you felt a little lighter than you had in days.
© strnilolover
a/n : am i self projecting? maybe. but i’m not in that situation anymore and haven’t been for over a year. but please, if any of you are in this kind of situation, know that there is always a way out. don’t be afraid to ask for help. (i also wrote this on the bus without my glasses so i’m so sorry if some parts may not make sense)
#ᯓ★ strnilolover#nnn#no nut november#matt sturniolo#matthew sturniolo#matt sturniolo x you#matt sturniolo x reader#matthew sturniolo x you#matthew sturniolo x reader#matt sturniolo imagine#matthew bernard sturniolo#matt sturniolo angst#matthew sturniolo angst#sturniolo#sturniolo triplets#sturniolo x reader#sturniolo angst#sturniolo triplets angst#angst#hurt/comfort#comfort#family fight#fighting#yelling#crying
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Welp... Just some time ago I realized that this is not what neurotypicals feel...
Bonus:
Yeah...I gotcha Don 😞
And yeah, small headcanon that Splinter was not aware of such a thing as neurodivergence, so he made a lot of bad decisions towards his sons, (despite the fact that he is the same... Come on, am I the only one who thinks so?). Therefore, for at least half of his life, Donnie (and his bros) suffered from not knowing what was happening to him and tried to be “normal”... Sad, but very realistic
Don't be afraid, Donnie gave Splinter a lecture and now he understands his fuck ups
#my art#rottmnt#sketch#rise of the tmnt#rottmnt donnie#rise donnie#autistic things#autism spectrum disorder#donnie#neurodivergent icon#neurodivergent struggles#i just found out that rubber gloves and sound cancelling headphones are making your life easier#now i even like to do the vacuum cleaning!#welp#autism things
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ok so your first problem was assuming mdzs is a story where Good People are Rewarded and Bad People are Punished.
your second problem was assuming that MXTX—who goes out of her way to showcase unresolved, tragic, undeserved endings in all of her works—would ever write a story with such a shallow notion of “deserving.”
the only reason wangxian makes it out unscathed is because they’re literally the protagonists. authorial intent and plot armor ensure their happy ending. that’s it.
#mdzs talk#moi#i mean it also helps that neither wwx nor lwj give a rats ass about the rest of the cultivation world#wwx had already fucked off and lwj was basically doing that too#that man has never given a single shit about politics and maintaining good relationships#like what does it say about you if even jiang cheng is a better politician than you.#mister ‘don’t talk to me before i’ve had my coffee. or after. just don’t fucking talk to me.’#but yeah wangxian is like oh we helped to create a massive power vacuum and destabilized the entire cultivation world?#ahaha no way!🤪 hey actually can this wait? my husband and i wanna go fuck in the bushes 🥰#like. lwj that’s YOUR brother that just lost his most significant emotional support of the last decade.#wwx that’s YOUR pseudo nephew whose parental figure you just got killed.#that’s YOUR pseudo nephew who now has to become sect leader at like 15.#but nah they wanna go bang on the side of the road#god forbid they try to clean up some of the gigantic mess they helped to make#and nobody try to argue ‘well but jgy!!’ buh buh buh nothing. jgy cleaned up after himself.#neither wwx nor lwj had ANY personal stake in seeing jgy dead. lwj SHOULD have had a personal stake in keeping him alive actually.#i still think it’s super shitty and hypocritical of lwj to defend wwx so strongly and yet try so hard to condemn jgy in PRIVATE#both wwx and lwj really showed their asses at guanyin ngl. obviously huaisang did too.#like yeah it’s noble and righteous or whatever but like. righteousness was not why lwj defended wwx before.#wangxian stans being self-righteous and hypocritical? with classist double standards? with black and white mentality?#wow! who would have ever guessed?
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☆IMPORTANT NOTE: DO NOT RECCOMEND EARPLUGS TO ME ON THIS POST. I AM AWARE OF THE EXISTENCE OF EARPLUGS AND HEARING PROTECTION. NOT WHAT IM TALKING ABOUT☆
they should invent like, power tools that are quiet and dont make horrible sounds
#toy txt post#i could even tolerate like the sounds that get made from like the material being drilled or whatever if not for the noise of the tool#itself#'just wear earing protection/earplugs' you do not get it you dont understand. i Would if that wasnt Worse#its like i can Feel the Noise in the Fucking Air and thats also why headphones dont work right for like listening to music#this was also my issue w the coffee grinder (in addition to it being. cheap and apparently shitty. not its fault but the noise was still#bad) them i got a hand grinder and its so much quieter. its fine. now the worst part is just cleaning it#i know there are hand saws for some applications but are there??? like?? hand? drills??#that i can use to like. hang a shelf on my wall???#its great that we turned them into machines to make it easier for ppl who use them frequently and all that but like do we have Quiet#Versions? this and like fucking Vacuum Cleaners pls
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Mordecai probably lives in an apartment or something, but my first thought when you brought up the Caves on that post was that he won’t tell us because he’s been living in the Caves the Whole Time. Even tho he’d hate the slime mold.
yeah a Whole Damn House would be a bit much, and probably not as useful for the nightly bootlegging related goings on: see, freckle needing to stand around waiting for a ride before he can go shoot people. whereas mordecai can show up to the maribel hotel on foot, or at least have started out somewhere he could get a cab or whatever....and this is probably the closest to any relevant Living Situation Glimpses
someplace with a bed, and one with an art deco headboard....a modern style, so it's neither Antique nor unfancy enough to have less identifiable stylings at all. like just by guessing surely he lives in some apartment that's unassuming enough to live unassumingly in, with whatever alias, so something large & fancy would be unhelpful....plus if he's gonna be fairly rigorous in his domestic upkeep, it wouldn't really help to have a huge place, even if for the same reasons it wouldn't be too small (or old or otherwise unpleasant; hard no to slime mold, slime, or mold....) and like re: the rotating aliases, maybe he moves places fairly regularly for good measure, been at this like, a decade....tl;dr probably has some apartment/s that's roomy but not huge, nice but not Fancy fancy, at the nexus of practicality, resources, and preferences
but it's important to think about "what if mordecai's been living in the caves the whole time" b/c that's funny lmao
#hey just now appreciating; closest we get to a t-shirt#thank you fashion shifts that said shirts originally worn as Underthings are now just for whenever: tees; tanks. i.e. ideals lol#and we do get tank top mordecai in all his ''officially debuting standing in the woods in underwear b/c he didn't parse Joking'' go off#this and that [morning routine] How are showers taken in the lackadaisy-verse? They are taken...in stride.#that one makes me laugh throughout. perfect quotidian suffering....right yeah lol ''the mundane tortures of existence''#mordecai and freckle as parallel [''unsociable'' guy constantly w/head in hands; sometimes w/gun in hands] is also always powerful & funny#perfect that they do meet over brunch & immediately; continuously; independently decline to interact w/each other at all#the power of distinctive characters in that there's no possible group/combo's interactions that would not be a delight#Living In The Caves could be a party if it was like given a real setup with furnishings and shit. depending....#i don't know anything about the environment of st. louis limestone caves#but yeah between potential Organisms & Dampness & the difficulty of having even your personal cave chamber be decidedly Clean....#i don't think he'd choose to be secretly living in the caves this whole time. sure: who would; yet he's truly a Least Likely contender lol#like rocky probably doesnt only to keep up enough of Any ''i totally have an apartment or smthng too'' appearances. a More Likely figure lo#lackadaisy#but if you move apartments do you have to move your art deco bed....however it's possible a) such furnishings come with the room#and b) he doesn't actually move around that much and c) if he does he just gets a whole new art deco bed like to hell with it#the speakeasy hitman's styled bed headboard biannual tax; as they say#looking up the history of the household vacuum. indeed the twenties are the prime time for the true onset / availability of that
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my ribs hurt from coughing so much
#last few days have been pureeeee shit i need to get off this ride#confined to the bed miserable and USELESS i actually miss running my errands and cleaning the kitchen#haven't been working out haven't even been getting my steps i feel like a shell of a person#got my period too 🤩#forcing myself to get up now and. do shit or my brain is going to actually start rotting#i thought it would've been nice to get a break from all my chores but it feels like hell actually#well today i changed my sheets so at least my room feels a little fresh. might vacuum later on
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also the more i live on my own the more i turn into my dad. i did like four loads of laundry last weekend (all my sheets and blankets, plus a load of clothing). i'm very particular about how things are loaded in my dishwasher to make sure everything actually gets cleaned. i'm actually cleaning my dishwasher rn. gd help us all if i start to vacuum every day then it will be all over
#i actually would probably like having a freshly vacuumed apartment more than once a week but i don't have time or energy for that#so once a week for now it is#sasha speaks#my dad has ocd and is a ridiculously thorough clean freak. sweeping and or vacuuming and or mopping every day#(to be fair at home there are Pets that generate Mess)#dishwasher every day. sometimes twice. laundry basically every day. sometimes twice. even now when it's just him and mom at home#he even does laundry on vacation...#it all seemed a little excessive and silly when i lived at home but (while i am not yet near that level) gd do i get it now
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hey does anyone know how we’re supposed to survive it all. asking for a friend
#she speaks#oh gang we’re really in it now#i don’t think i’ve ever felt this bad this deeply in my whole life lol#the burnout just keeps accumulating past any point i thought it could reach#and i can’t even pretend at work anymore#i’m so tired and these kids are so infuriating and it builds and builds every time they do something shitty#and i love them and it’s not their fault they’re just kids and they’re tired and it’s almost summer#but god i can’t fucking do it anymore#how exactly am i supposed to survive the next two weeks#the class i’m taking is too confusing and too fast paced#and i didn’t buy the textbook bc it’s 200 fucking dollars#and our apartment is always a mess#and i can’t keep up with friendships and feel like i’m constantly letting them down#and there’s nothing i can do to fix any of it#until the school year is over#bc at this point it takes everything i have just to get up and go to work in the mornings#but then i still have to somehow find energy to do other stuff too. and like actually teach.#i have to grade and do report cards and return materials and clean up my classroom#i need to complete a checklist the size of a novel before i leave for the summer#i need to keep the kids engaged but none of us want to be here#i need to start organizing to make next year easier#i need to fill out paperwork and spreadsheets and update my password and find time to feed myself and grade more papers and#vacuum the floors and scoop litter and clean up clutter and do dishes and wipe down counters#and i haven’t been able to fucking do any of it in months and left so many chores to my poor partner who’s also going through it#bc i have nothing left and i don’t know what to do!! i want to scream every minute of every day bc i’m so beyond overwhelmed the moment#i wake up in the morning but i don’t have time for a meltdown so i just keep going!!#i wish i had better words to explain how bad it’s gotten but the brain fog has gotten so so bad#i can barely think i can’t make decisions my memory and recall have gotten so much worse#i take my anxiety meds so often that they’ve stopped working#and yet i still worry that i’m making it up and being dramatic. anyway sorry about all this lol
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We <3 hearing things
#i swear I am hearing stuff#it might be because this is an old house and those make noises sometimes#but maybe there's something#and maybe there's nothing at all and I'm imagining this#i think I'll clean my room sometime the next days....#it's overdue anyways there's this one corner where i haven't looked at in like two years out of fear what might linger in those depths#my room is a nightmare for people with dust allergies#carpet everywhwre last time i dusted off was too long ago to remember#there's some mold on my windows because i used to rarely open them#that was before I noticed that fresh air is really nice actually and i like breathing good#my couch creaks too and I know my heater sometimws makes strange noises#the boiler from my floors bathroom got the verdict “out of date and should probably be replaced''#it works well but now I'm a tad scared of it exploding#or giving me carbon monoxide poisoning#We're paranoid like that ig thats in up here nowadays#god I really should deepclean this thing sometime#by couch too i sleep on it every day so I seldom get the chance to really do something there#because. like. i kinda need that thing#but I vacuumed and where was a lot of dust#why do I live in filth I even try to keep it somewhat alright#sigh I'll just do what I can do for today and chamge my bedsheets#we'll see about the rest when we get there
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I've done some cleaning today!! I think I am dead now. I really don't have the energy to do the rest of what I want to do, which is a bummer :( Hopefully my sister is able to finish up what I left for her when she gets home!!
#i cleaned the bathroom we share. then i tried to pick up garbage in my room.#i got partway into my garbage collecting when i realised if i keep going it will not end well for me. so i am in bed now.#while i was moving stuff around i found a letter from my ex#so weird seeing proof of how someone used to feel when i know its not like that anymore. i hope hes doing well.#i also found a card i got from a mutual and im gonna tuck both of those away into my memory box :3#but yeah i am very dead now.#i need to pick up the garbage and then deal with some laundry and then i REALLY need to vacuum and theres no way im doing all that today.#having a bit of an asthma attack but i done even have it in me to walk 4 steps to my inhaler ._. guess i will suffer.#i am so tired ._.#glad i finally got around to cleaning up the bathroom though. it was pretty awful.#batty blogging#text
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huge update i might get to go home tomorrow… my professor is opening our final on wednesday instead of just thursday so now i just need to see if my friend i planned to take the exam with can do it wednesday and then if she can (she almost certainly can) i can go home after……. i wanna go homeeee i want this semester to be OVER as soon as humanly possible!!!!!!
#in theory it’s already over. i could literally go home tonight and just take that exam online at my house#but like i said i’m doing it with my friend so.#if i don’t take it with her i won’t be able to focus and it’ll be really annoying it’s a whole thing#beth.txt#but i’m like packing up for the summer now. i guess i could semi- clean the bathroom before my roommate gets back.#i have like 2 and a half more hours to kill right now so.#ugh i HATE cleaning the bathroom unfortunately someone’s got to because i don’t think my roommate ever has or will.#which is fine i mean it’s not like super super gross or anything and i’m not that much of a clean freak#hence why i have not cleaned it in. like. too long probably at this point#i think spring break. yeah there is loose hair like. all over the floor :/#which is not to say i don’t periodically like. shallow clean#like. i clean the sink counter every day i’m here. i’ll do the toilet every like 2ish weeks. the shower gets cleaned in like. patches.#like i have not deep cleaned the shower in an amount of time that would make my sister mad at me if she was here#and the floor. yeah we already mentioned the floor. i’m not a floor cleaner girl#i rarely even vacuum my room i hate cleaning floors it’s the worst fr#well. i should stop making this post and just do it huh
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after basking in the glow of my pettiness - writing on the mirror ‘would an adult leave their nail clippings on the shared vanity’ 4 my brother - karma got me, bc i accidentally knocked a fucking cactus onto my bed
#stream#i’m#u know what i was fucking right i don’t care#i knocked it at 1.06a & it is now 1.43a literally im using a folded towel as a pillow ALSKALSKALSKLAKSLA like#now i’ve got to do SO much laundry & fucking vacuum i’m going to end it all#BUT OH MY GOD ???? MY BROTHER IS FUCKING RIDICULOUS UR ALMOST 24 HOW DID U NOT FUCKING CLEAN UP UR NAIL CLIPPINGS#JESUS FUCKING CHRIST ????? WHAT IS WRONG W U !!! HE CANT EVEN FUCKING CHANGE THE TOILET PAPER ROLL WHEN HE FINISHES IT OH MY GOD !!!!!!!#like ‘why doesn’t he have a girlfriend’ mum look at this#U LOOK AT THIS#this is what u got#bc i’m going to kill myself#i want to smoke soooooooo bad but it’s ok bc i’ve chugged a glass of wine & then remembered i can get high & now i’m chillin#1.47a & livin the dream#if i start looking at myself & my surroundings i will have a breakdown#like omg at the fucking meeting on friday we had coworkers that graduated come back for what reason idk it was nice to see them but they’re#like ‘if u want. a gap year or 2 before grad school go ahead like u should do that’ & im like mama …#i’ve been in school for like 6.5-7 years …. like + minimester + summer courses 😭😭 like break ?#if i took a break i literally would not go back to school#like ALSKALKSLAKSLAKALA#& i need to fucking apply to grad schools still FOR THIS FUCKING FALL#like y’all ….#i’m going to KERMIT#like i-#i’m also just toyin in my head like#y’all what if i just fucking go to japan#like#it’s so unhinged like do u speak japanese ? no i fuckign do not but i DO know that u can get languages courses (intensive) for good prices#so i know i could learn japanese#like bro#why not
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i have never felt this much angry i’m tearing up and want to murder my dad
#how dare he say that to me#all i’ve been doing these past two weeks was declittering the house#i have cleaned out the entire bathroom and the goddamn kitchen so that theres space and everything has its own place#and there’s no expired things#and now there is an actual space to put groceries inside#and today i wanted to do the komoda in our dining room which btw doubles as his home office but also is on the middle of the goddamn house s#so you Have to go through it to go anywhere right#and he just asked if i’m finishing the cleanup now so i sad No cause i work 6 more hours - so after work#and he has the halls to get mad at me that i half as stuff and that the vacuum will be out here for the next two days cause i won’t do it#and that i left a crystal vase on the dining table for two weeks now and haven’t touched it like I DONT HAVE THE TIME TO DO EVEYTHING ALL AT#once okay!!! i will do it don’t talk to me like that#and going back to the dining room being his office it means every flat space is covered with his documents and i mean every#it’s the messiest shot ever cause he doesn’t think to keep it clean#and i’m the one that makes the mess#and now he tells me not to throw things cause i put down the remote loudly like i will do as i freaking please cause i’m furious and he has#ruined my good mood#all he has done after me cleaning is be mad that he can’t find things like i haven’t moved anything nowhere he just doesn’t even bother to#search if he doesn’t see smth immediately he gets mad and says we always hide stuff from him to annoy him#absolutely no gratitude from either of my parents i hate it here more often than not
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Kill wound maim etc my neighbors. Today is particularly bad so i need them dead.
#i saw that one neighbor's face today. he came home just after i got into my apartment#so i was still at the door when he came so i saw him (we all have glass doors here)#now that i know how the person who stomps around like this all day long looks like#i hate him even more#i want to scratch his eyes out#(this is neighbor nr 2 btw#who is not the same as neighbor nr 1 who i hate posted about most of the time before this semester#nr 1 still needs to die but nr 2 is honestly even more insufferable (literally. i want to die))#but i have started allowing myself to be louder and more annoying as well#I'll turn my music up more than I would usually do as a considerate neighbor#I'll kick the wall more often when he stomps around making my room vibrate#i vacuum clean past 8 pm (idk why that's such a big deal for me#considering 10 pm is the official time when you're supposed to be quiet i think)#I'm just#so done#i can't do this anymore#kill them and me please#neighbor hate posting
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some people can sit around all day. i am not one of those people. i sit around for half a day and i'm like
i'm going to crawl the walls i'm going to chew glass
#even when i am sick#cannot do it.#people deal with some serious depression#and then you ask them what they did with their day and they're like. i sat. on computer. i ate? an sandwich?#and i'm like buddy i'd probably be hating my brain right now too.#mir posting#i wouldn't even have something i want to be doing but keep me off my duff at least have me do SOMETHING.#this post brought to you by the fact i turned the roomba on and i cleared off my bed and i put away groceries#i'm contemplating vacuuming the stairs if my back won't kill me. i cleaned the toilet for pete's sake.#i have zero motivation to be doing any of this btw but if i sit around i will sabotage my mental health out of boredom or something
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