#or giving me carbon monoxide poisoning

[starpros-sunshine]

We <3 hearing things

[highoncatfood]

id love to talk abt various headcanons i have but unfortunately anytime i try thinking abt any of it my head starts to spin and i cant think straight at all

[orionscelt]

keep thinking about how the slytherin common room might (most probably) be full of arsenic.

[vamptastic]

how the fuck do you reheat rice without it drying out

[writers-potion]

How to kill my characters?

How to Kill Your Characters

trigger warning: suicide

Good question. I'm going to risk sounding like a psychopath in the first bit of this post, and a little more sane in the second.

Ways To Die.

Physical Death

In a fight/battle: throat slashed, heart impaled, bleeding to death, head smashed in a fall, chest compressed under rubble, beheaded, choked, burnt at the stake, chest stabbed, guts spilled, blistering all over due to poison gas, taken in a bomb, multiple arrows all over the body, smashed under horses, etc.

By accident: bitten by a snake, torn in ribbons by a preditor, falling off a cliff, car accident, a knife falling from a loose rack, heart attack, severe allergy reaction, dying from heatstroke, washed away in the ocean, dying during an illegal surgery, getting stuck in a factory machine, trapped in a broken building, your clothes stuck in a truck and getting dragged around, etc.

By suicide: swallowing poison, hanging themselves, jumping off, overdosing on sleeping pills/drugs, shooting yourself in the head, setting fire on their own home, jumping into your own spear fixed on the ground, injecting yourself with lethal amounts of a drug, drowning yourself, drinking to death, filling your room with carbon monoxide, etc.

Due to illnesses that might be chronic or discovered too late for a cure. It can be a rare illness like being allergic of sunlight/water, etc.

Due to crime/abuse/bullying.

Euthanesia.

Starving to death.

Psychological Death

Losing a job that you've held for 30 years

Losing a relationship that was central in the MC's life

A terrible betrayal that make them lose their trust in humanity.

How to Make Character Deaths Effective.

Obviously, don't kill your characters for the sake of insering a "shock factor". Each death must either further the plot or convey the theme of your story.

Death of a naive character/loved on/supporter are used to drive the hero into a corner, which will motivate them to seek the Final Epiphany to win at the end.

You can kill a character to kill the thing they represent. For example, the death of a guru/parent is often used to convey how everyone must learn to break out of the nest to grow into an indepedent person.

Death as a consequence. Your hero may need to give up their loved ones to save the world, or give up their own life for their loved ones.

Death of the MC should leave a lasting image for the reader and reflect the overall theme of the novel. For example, the MC dying in the middle of a battlefield makes the reader question the matter of human cruelty and the futility of war.

How to Convey Death

Depict the dying character closing their eyes, chesting rising and falling for the last time, the focus in their eyes going out, limbs going limp, etc.

From the POV of a dying character: thick darkness falling, they welcoming peace, seeing their life go by, seeing Death

You can choose to skip direct description of death and show the funeral/other characters mourning as an aftermath.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* . ───

💎If you like my blog, buy me a coffee☕ and find me on instagram! 

💎Before you ask, check out my masterpost part 1 and part 2 

💎For early access to my content and exclusie requests, become a Writing Wizard 

[darkbluekies]

In the hands of a madman

Dr yandere! x y/n (og character Dr Kry)

Summary: you went in for a sore throat and has been hospitalized for a month. It seems like your doctor is very persistent on having you here. All hell breaks lose when he sees you talking to another patient and it all becomes clear on why you cannot leave

Warnings: poison, yandere, needles, manipulation, obsessive behavior, possessive behaviour

Word count: 1.6k

"Open ... and close", the white dressed man says in front of you. "Good."

You're left with a bitter taste in your mouth. Why does he always stick that metallic flashlight all the way down your throat?

"We've run your tests and sadly, you're not in any state to leave yet", Dr Kry says. "I'm afraid you'll have to stay here for some more time."

"You said that last time!" you mutter.

"Yes, but Y/N, if you don't feel well, I can't let you go. What if you become worse?"

You sigh. You've been here for a month now. You could say that the hospital is your new home and you wouldn't be joking. But you know none of the nurses. There are always new ones checking up on you and the only one you can talk to is Dr Kry. He's a man in his thirties with blonde hair and glasses. Everything about him is sophistocated and well taken care of. If you could describe him in one word, it'd be 'proper'.

"I know you're disappointed, Y/N", Dr Kry says and moves over to put his hand on your shoulder. "But this is for the best. I don't want you to get worse."

"What is wrong with me?" you ask weakly. "I want to know."

"We don't know yet."

That's a lie, but you don't know that. Dr Kry knows exactly what's wrong with you. He should, he caused it. You went into the hospital for a sore throat and never left afterwards. He had a meeting with you about how you were feeling and after that he knew he had to keep you here. The air in your hospital room has been poisoned. Your air purifier has been drenched in carbon monoxide. He's making sure it's not too much, but enough to keep you hospitalized.

"I know it's hard, Y/N", he says. "But you can always call for me, okay? I'm available all day and all night for you. You're my favorite patient."

You press forward a smile, but can't help but feel a wave of sadness wash over. Why did this happen to you? If only you knew ...

"Let's get you tucked in again", Dr Kry says and helps you lie down. "You shouldn't be putting too much pressure on your body."

He's about to leave the room when you ask him to stay. You can't stand being alone again.

"Please", you whisper. "I don't want to be left here. I don't want to be alone."

The man nods slowly and walks back to the bed, sitting down on the side. A lonely tear rolls down your cheek and he wipes it with a gentle motion. He looks at his wet finger, thinking.

"I feel helpless", you admit. "It doesn't seem like I'll ever be well again."

Little do you know that's just what he wants.

"I'll take care of you, Y/N", he promises. "You won't be sad anymore. I'll sit here with you until you fall asleep, don't worry."

You give him a small, painful smile before shutting your eyes. Another tear falls down.

The next morning you pull yourself out of the bed and out the room, determinded to walk down to the cafeteria and get something to eat. You can't stand the hospital food the nurses bring you. You want iced coffee and something to nibble on.

The white corridors always manage to make the hairs stand up straight. Is it the dehuminized area or the fact that you're never allowed outside? Whatever it is, you decide to speed up your movements and hurry back to your room. You step into the elevator and just as the doors are about to close, another patient stop the doors from closing. A boy with black, curly hair and a golden brown skin tone that shines much needed light in this cold hopsital. He gives you a rushed, apologetic smile and presses himself in.

"Sorry", he says. "I just couldn't wait for the next elevator."

"Are you in a hurry?" you ask.

"You could say that. I escaped from the therapist. A real pain in my ass."

You giggle slightly.

"Have you met her?" the boy asks. "The therapist?"

You shake your head.

"Don't", he advices you. "She's mental. I honestly wonder if she should be the one getting interviewed, not me."

The doors open again. Your floor.

"Are you going to the cafeteria?" he asks.

You nod.

"I'm coming with you", he says. "Maybe you can help me blend in. They're probably looking for a boy who's alone. They won't think I'm me if I'm with you."

You simply nod. The boy seems frantic, but happy. Maybe just what you need.

Together, you walk to the cafeteria where you order your beloved ice coffee and a sandwich. The thought of something sweet and sticky makes your stomach turn. You've been feeling so nauseus ever since you entered this hospital.

"What are you planning to do now?" you ask the boy. "They'll find you sooner or later."

"I don't know actually", he laughs and runs his hand through his thick curls. "I didn't think this far."

You're just about to ask for his name when you can hear someone roaring your name. With a shocked and terrified gaze, you turn. Dr Kry and two security guards storm over to you and your new found friend. The blonde man grabs a hold of your arm and pulls you close to him.

"What are you doing out of bed?" he growls and sends a murderous gaze towards the boy who's being restrained by the guards. "Haven't I told you to rest?"

"B-But-", you start before he cuts you off.

"Why are you speaking with him?"

You open your mouth, but can't seem to answer. The dark, murderous gaze in Dr Kry's blue eyes puts you in a horrific trance. You want to wake up. Your hands open and the coffee falls out of your hands. It seems to be a wakeup call for Dr Kry because he starts dragging you back to the elevator. You throw your head back to catch a glance of the boy you've just met. You can see the guards sticking a needle in his neck and his body going limp. You gasp, but don't have time to see more. The elevator doors are closing. Your body is shaking violently and you look around, eyes stopping on the blonde man.

"W-What is going on?" you ask.

Dr Kry glances at the button panel. You have three floors left. Thirty seconds. He grabs your shoulders and presses you against the wall. Your body goes stiff and you start thinking of every worst case scenario you could ever get in.

"Don't ever talk to anyone again, do you hear me?" the doctor threathens. "You're mine. My patient. And if you do ... you're never getting out of this hospital again. Is that clear?"

You don't answer. What should you answer? You can't agree with this madness! But if you refuse ... what will he do to you?

"Y/N, answer", Dr Kry says, now with a gentle voice. As if he has realized who he's talking to. His hand comes up to caress your cheek. "Don't make me angry. It won't benefit you. I just want you safe, okay? You can't run around the hospital and talk to other guys. I will let you off this time, but next time I can't guarantee what'll happen to you. Okay?"

You only nod, too scared to do something else. He smiles and presses his lips to your forehead for a few seconds before the doors open again. In your shocked state, he pulls you out into the corridor. You can't seem to process what just happened, but before you can register the kiss, you're back in bed. He tucks you in and walks over to the door.

"If you leave this bed again, Y/N", he says warningly, "I'll make sure you'll not be able to."

You gulp. The door closes and a lock clicks behind. Your shaking hands come up to cover your face.

You don't sleep. At all. There's too many thoughts lingering in your head, each getting worse than the last. Why is the therapist so bad at her job? Who was that boy? What happened after the guards neutrilized him? Why did Dr Kry get so mad? Why did he threathen you? What did he mean by all those words? Why did he kiss you? What will he do to you? Why aren't you leaving the hospital?

When Dr Kry comes into the room the next morning, you frown. Where's the nurse?

"Where's the nurse?" you ask.

"I've decided to do everything for you myself", he answers. "We can't trust anyone." He sits down on the side of the bed. "I want to talk to you."

"About what?"

"About yesterday."

You gulp.

"I never want yesterday to be repeated", Dr Kry says. "You were the reason a mother will never see her son again."

You grow cold and shake your head in fear. No, no ... he can't have done that. He can't. Tears of pure terror and guilt fill your eyes. What have you done to deserve this? What had that poor boy done to deserve that?

"I control your life, Y/N", Dr Kry says. "I decide if you're dead or alive, do you get that? You shouldn't upset me."

You break out in a sob. Dr Kry brings your limp body into his arms and kisses your forehead.

"You're staying here with me, Y/N", he whispers in your ear, hot air fanning your hair. "I'll take every reprocaution I need to make sure you don't disappear."

You squeeze your eyes shut, wishing all of this could be a nightmare.

[iheartchv]

your cod matchups are the cutest!!! idk if you’re still doing them, but if you are, i’d like to request one

i’m english, i speak english and french, i think i’m an infp? i’m 5’10" with curly blonde hair, i’m SO flat (but i love my little tits), i’m a waitress in a spanish restaurant and basically any sport in the water is my fav. i teach kids to sail sometimes 😋 n i like 60s/70s music

i feel silly trying to sell myself but that’s about it, i love my friends but i can’t go without time on my own else i think i’d curl into a ball and cry, and today my friend said that walking into a room where everyone has fainted from carbon monoxide poisoning and saying "just open a window?? it’s not that hard??" is "such a [me] thing to do" whatever that means lmao

and i’m really bad at deadlines

your blog is so good xoxo

//thanks ;;v;;/ 💋❤

🤔 I pair you with...

Simon "Ghost" Riley 💀

You two are opposites of the same coin

I think Ghost would end up falling for you

He may act like he isn't interested

And he may come across as arrogant/very cold/uncaring

But that's only at first

Over time he will find ways to spend more time around you

Aaaand he might not be as harsh on you like is with anyone else, you may notice

If that isn't enough, he's always catching glimpses at you, only to look away when you look his way

Same with you

When you look at him and then he looks your way, you can't help the blush on your cheeks

However, Ghost will tease you

Thats his way of trying to flirt, I guess?

Under his mask he'd be smirking

You can hear it in his voice

"What're you staring at, love?"

"Cat got your tongue?"

Low soft chuckles...

His laugh would make you melt

Ghost likes your taste in music

While he might listen to hard rock, metal, he'd listen to 60s and 70s music with you

He likes your humor as well

Deadlines?

Maybe he can help

And give you an award system of some sort? 😈🙈

When he knows for sure he likes you, he will tell you

And if you accept his feelings for you, you give him a kiss on his masked cheek

Around you he'd be blushing... under his mask ( until he trusts you completely to have his mask off around you )

When you're out, you can count on him to keep you safe

He won't let you go, won't stop holding your hand or holding you by the waist

He'd protect you with his life

When deployed, and then comes back after months, he'll give you plenty of hugs and kisses

Words of how he missed you and wants to be with you

He'd even slip an 'I love you' in between❤

[jasntodds]

Petrichor [13]

Pairing: Jason Todd x Fem!Powered!Reader (little bit of fwb)

Words: 19,197

Chapter Warnings: Swearing, angst, hurt/comfort (i know!!), manipulation (canon), gaslighting, jason being drugged against his will (canon), description of scars (jason has autopsy scars because i said so), mentions of the roof scene, mentions of gore?, mentions of death, mentions of withdrawal, self-deprecating thoughts (jason tried to walk off of a roof and titans never mentioned that again so we're going back to that mindset for him for just a second, there's no attempt or anything, just his thoughts), violence, blood, mentions of abuse, mentions of drug addiction (canon), drug use (canon)

Summary: ❝Pylades: I’ll take care of you. Orestes: It’s rotten work. Pylades: Not to me. Not if it’s you.❞

Gotham is home, not just for Jason but for you, too. And now that you’re both finally back home, together, you’re ready to see where this next chapter brings the two of you. He’s your best friend and you’re his. And you both might want a little something more with being back home, the place you both feel most comfortable. Surely, nothing could possibly go wrong now.

A/N: I was writing the warnings and wow lmao poor Jason. I can't wait to write him a happy ending lol You can add yourself to the tag list below, ask me to be tagged, or you can follow my library blog @jasntoddslibrary  and turn on notifications if you prefer that!! I love feedback, I swear it keeps me posting on a weekly basis 😭

series masterlist | masterlist | tag list

Maybe going back to the manor would be in your best interest. You could go there and lock yourself in your room, throw your technology against a wall and call it all good enough. No temptation to turn back around, no temptation to pick up the phones and hit redial, and demand it’s a mistake and you take it all back. It would be easier to go to the manor and tell Gar what happened because maybe Gar would tell you it was the wrong decision and none of you can give up on Jason. But, none of this has been easy so you don’t go to the manor. Instead, you go back to the Excellent Gotham, going up to the roof through the back where the crime unit doesn’t see you.

You ditch your phone and your necklace on the roof, figuring all of it will be safe for an hour. You hide everything under the radiator unit before you head back down and back to your bike. Then you drive to the one person who will not be so understanding of this entire mess but deserves an answer. And deserves to know what’s going on, just in case.

“Hey.” Molly greets, standing in her doorway.

Her hand rests on the doorframe, blocking you from inside while she wears a sowl. You look to your feet and then back to Molly, knowing this is going to be difficult. You're thinking your own guilt might fall into the air and suffocate you like carbon monoxide poisoning. Maybe that’d be less painful.

“I need to talk to you.” You state softly, tugging your sleeves over your blood-stained hands.

Molly scoffs, shaking her head as she keeps her hand on the door. It’s unbelievable. She knows Jason dying was horrible. It’s worse that you had to be the one to find him mangled and bloody. But, Molly cleaned his blood out of your suit and off of your hands. She cleaned his blood off of the bathroom floor that night all by herself. It was Molly that got you into bed with tear-stained cheeks and the smell of iron radiating off of you. It was Molly that had to take care of you instead of grieving for her friend. Molly didn’t see what you did but she didn’t have to because the blood across the entire bathroom and your traumatized demeanor told her everything and it was fucking traumatizing for her, too. Molly still tried to be there for you and you do what you always do. You run away from everything that hurts. That left Molly alone to deal with the loss of one of her best friends. Alone.

“You’ve been ignoring me for a week and now you want to talk?” Molly spits back. “I lost—“

“It’s about Jason.” You cut her off because you know you've been a shitty friend. You know. Molly hesitates, her eyes narrowing as she shakes her head. “You can yell at me all you want and you can slam the door in my face but I bet you didn’t replace your locks so I can just break in anyway.”

“Seriously?” Molly asks, unamused.

You shrug softly, sucking in a deep breath. “It’s important. I know, alright?” You gesture your arms out. “Just…let me fucking--”

“Is that blood?” Molly asks, seeing your hands.

You look down, blood staining your hands yet again. Your hands are shaking and you didn’t even realize it. When did they start shaking? Have they been shaking the whole time? When did the blood dry anyway? It feels chalky on your hands and it makes you grimace, shaking your head quickly.

“Uh…yeah.” You nod and you see Molly’s face soften. You swear you don’t deserve sympathy. “It’s not mine. It is why I’m here though.” You say softly. “Not Jason's either, to clarify.”

Molly raises a brow at the last remark, knowing it can’t be Jason’s on account of him being dead. But, she’s watching you shift your weight on your heels and your hands shake at your sides. Molly might be mad but she is also intrigued with what this could have to do with Jason and at the end of the day, she is worried about you. She knows your body count is up to four but she knows you would say it’s five. And that’s always concerning. So, she lets out a sigh and moves her hand, stepping aside so you can enter the apartment.

“I’m mad at you. But, fine. Say whatever it is.” Molly crosses her arms over her chest as the two of you stand in her kitchen.

“I’m sorry, okay? You were looking out for me and I just….couldn’t deal with it. I’m sorry for yelling and being mean. I know, I know you lost him, too. And I’m sorry.” You swallow thickly. “I just…” You shrug in defeat. If you're going to get Molly to listen to you, you need to tell her why you did it. “I think I thought I didn’t deserve your help, okay? Maybe that’s what it was. Like…” You pause, looking up to the ceiling. “Uh, ya know? I, uh, I couldn’t look out for Jason when he really needed it so I didn’t fucking deserve it. I don’t know. But I’m fucking sorry because you didn’t deserve that.”

“I know.” Molly nods, softly as her brows furrow. As mad and as hurt as she is, she never wants you to feel like you don’t deserve help. No one should feel that way and it wasn’t even your fault. “Why would you think you don’t deserve help?”

You grit your teeth. “Oh, well, that’s part of what I get to tell you.” You roll your eyes. “He just…” You chew the inside of your cheek. “He has saved my life more than once and…I couldn’t fucking save him. And I should have seen it and I didn’t. I should have been there for him and I wasn’t…not in the way he clearly needed. He did….so much for me without ever knowing it, I think and I just…couldn’t repay him. So…I took it out on you and Gar and Dick and everyone. And I’m just really fucking sorry.” Your voice cracks.

There’s a fear creeping into the back of your head and for a reason you don’t quite understand, you think about the anti-fear drug. It would be easier to have this conversation if you had it. But you don’t. You have to suck it up and it sucks. It’s making you think you were too hard on Jason for making and taking the drug in the first place. You snapped and went after him and maybe you were too hard on him because he was suffering and he wanted a way out without taking a way out. He just wanted help and to be Robin. It’s all he ever wanted, to be fearless so he can do the one thing everyone thought he was best at. You think about the drug because all you want right now is to stop running from everything that hurts and that scares you so you can stop hurting other people. The people that care about you. Maybe you were too hard on Jason for it.

“And I’m sorry for ignoring you. I did what I always do. I know. And I’m sorry. And some shit fucking happened and it just…got so fucking messy and I’d have to lie to you and I couldn’t do that. But…” Your rambling pauses. “I have to tell you because it’s not fucking fair to you and uh…I’m just…scared and tired of keeping secrets. But you can’t tell anyone.”

Molly lets out a breath as she watches you tug your sleeves down over the ligature scars. They’re fading, slowly. But they are fading and it doesn’t excuse you for being a shitty friend but…this can’t be easy. Molly puts herself in your shoes. You're uprooted from the only thing you've ever known and then tortured and given powers. Molly knows you always hated the idea of having powers. It was always good for other people but no thanks for you. Now you're stuck with them and not even by accident or by your own doing but by your abuser. You're then thrown into being a vigilante. Something you never quite understood why someone would do. Why risk your life for other people who don’t give a fuck about you? And then Jason. It’s not right but… things haven’t been easy.

“Okay.” Molly nods softly. “But, you need to get help for your own shit, okay? It’s not fair to me, you’re right.”

You nod quickly. “Trust me, already thought about that.” You scoff. You should have followed in Jason’s shoes. You should have taken Bruce’s advice and just talked to Leslie.

“Okay so…what’s going on?” Molly asks as she uncrosses her arms, resting one hand on her hip.

“Jason’s alive.” You spit the words out so fast Molly nearly misses them.

“That’s not funny.” Molly shakes her head but her voice lacks any and all venom.

“Yeah.” You scoff. “That’s what I said but he is. Long story, not mine to tell. But he’s alive. He’s Red Hood.” You explain, keeping it short.

Molly nods her head once, realizing that’s why Red Hood dropped Deigo off. That’s how he even knew about the missing kids. It’s because Red Hood is Jason. That explains a lot while also explaining almost nothing.

You nod softly. “Yeah, he killed Pete Hawkins.” Sam states as if you could see Molly putting pieces together.

“And you knew?” Molly asks as you watch her eyes start to glass over.

“He asked me not to fucking tell anyone and I told him he had to tell you and Gar because you’d both hate me if you guys knew I knew and didn’t say anything.” You shake your head and while that’s true, that does not stop the guilt from turning your stomach. “But shit is hitting the fan and…I don't know when he plans to tell you and I’m tired of keeping his secrets.”

Molly’s brows furrow as she’s taken aback by everything. Jason is alive and comes back as a crime lord. That’s already weird but now you're standing here saying you're tired of keeping his secrets. You're nothing if not loyal to the people you love and Jason is very high up on that list of people.

“Okay, hold on.” Molly closes her eyes for a second as she tries to process everything. “So, he’s alive but he doesn’t want anyone to know? Instead, he decides to become Red Hood? And now you’re suddenly not on his side? What the hell is going on?”

You gesture your hands, waving them slightly with the roll of your eyes. “Mr. Drake was shot today, hit on Excellent Gotham.”

“Is he okay?” Molly rushes. “Why…wait. Jason…didn’t?”

“Uh….I don’t know. Tim’s gonna text me but uh, yeah it was Jason.” You suck in a breath and you decide you're just going to tell the story as quickly and as plainly as possible. It’s going a bit numb anyway. “Some sort of threat to Tim because Jason is working with Scarecrow to make an anti-fear drug. Jason left the formula and it was coded. I figured it out, Jason figured out that I had to go to Tim. I only even went to Tim thinking Jason wouldn’t think I would do that. But, of course he did because he knew I’d never be able to look you in the eye and not tell you he’s alive. So, yeah.”

Molly blinks a few times as the room falls silent. When you said it was about Jason, you really could have prepared her a little more for this. What the hell is going on and how is Molly supposed to just take all of this in? There’s a small part of her that wonders if this is just a fever dream.

“Can…can I wash my hands while you digest that?” You ask after a few seconds of silence.

“Yeah…” Molly points to the kitchen sink while you walk over. “Why the hell are you so calm?”

“Probably shock.” You mutter. “Oh, and let me give you a rundown of everything that’s happened, literally this week. Jason’s alive so Dick and me dug up his grave. Fun. All of the Titans got mad at me and basically turned on me for knowing he’s alive. Ya know whatever. Then I remade the drug, got high, me and Jason then fought each other cause I went to confront him. While I was there, he was putting a bomb in Hank’s chest. I failed, blah blah blah, we all failed. Hank blew up. Me and Dick kidnapped Crane, then fought Jason again. They almost shot me so I fought both of them, then Babs got Dick shot. Then Excellent Gotham got shot up while I was inside and I killed 3 more people because Jason gave them the drug.” You say casually, the water almost overcoming your voice.

“There’s so much to unpack there.” Molly mutters softly and decides maybe she should sit down. She needs to figure out which part of that she wants to dive into first.

“Oh, yeah, it’s been a very eventful week. At this point, I think this is just my life. You know that little stuff I’ve been telling you about what happened?” You ask.

You told Molly bits and pieces of what happened to you, specifically over the last couple of years. But, you've also been very careful to avoid anything that could ever out any of anyone's vigilante alter egos. You've been very careful not to give anything too detailed away about what happened to Jason in San Francisco. You always kept a lot of the details to yourself, partially to keep secrets about everyone but also to spare Molly horrifying details. But, in order for Molly to understand everything that's led Jason here, she has to know the whole story. In every detail.

“Neglecting every important detail that would make your stories make sense, yes.” Molly quips.

“Right, well, you know Deathstroke?” You question and Molly nods slowly, already hating where this is going. “Well, when we got hurt together, yeah, it’s because Deathstroke and Dr. Light kidnapped us and then tortured us. Some vendetta against Dick. And uh, you know Jason’s limp he has sometimes? Yeah, Deathstroke dug the tracker out of his leg. Dropped us from a skyscraper, Conner saved Jason when he fell. Dick pulled me in. So, ya know, oh, the powers! Jerry, abusive fuck, yeah that’s all him.” You say with the nod of your head.

“You were both kidnapped by Deathstroke?” Molly asks, earning another nod. "And Jerry gave you powers?"

"Well, experimented on to give me powers to give himself powers, yes." You nod your head, chewing the inside of your cheek. "Not really relevant right now, but I figured I'd throw that in there."

You suck in a deep breath before you explain the story of Deathstroke to Molly. And the events that followed, this time in excruciating detail. Everything between being hit and Jason being choked. The two of you trying to defend the other only for it to be useless. You explain everything that happened outside of the skyscraper and then your talk in the bathroom that, up until this moment, has been just between you and Jason. Then you tell her about Jason walking out to the roof. You tell Molly every detail.

“That explains a lot.” Molly nods. “I knew he was different. I knew something bad happened over there but…” Molly's heart aches and she really wishes Jason could have told her or talked to her about it. She isn't sure she could have helped, but she would have tried.

“Yeah…” You nod your head.

“Why are you telling me now?” Molly shakes her head in confusion. “What does that have to do with anything?”

“I don’t know. I just…you asked why I’m so calm and I just think it’s my life now. And I think you should know. I think you need to know the whole story in order to understand any of it. It’s bigger than Bruce taking Robin away from him. You have to know the story and you’re the only one that doesn’t.” You shrug softly.

“Right, okay, yeah. That makes sense.” Molly nods her head before she decides to switch back to something else you said. Molly takes a seat at the kitchen table. “Wait, hold you, you made a fucking drug and then took it?!”

You glance at her as you shrug and then look back to the water. Everyone is so upset about that part of the story. “Yes. I’m fine. It was fine. Ya know, it wasn’t like…I didn’t die.”

“You’re an idiot.” Molly groans as she holds the bridge of her nose while you dry your hands.

“I’ve been told.” You nod your head as you lean against the counter, keeping the paper towels in your hands.

“I have so many questions.” Molly rests her elbow on the table. “Why is Jason working with Scarecrow? I mean, are you sure?” Molly isn’t sure why she asked. You and Dick literally kidnapped him, so you have to be sure but she just finds it so hard to believe.

“Oh, we are positive.” You let out a sigh. “Robin can’t be scared.” You grit your teeth, the anger bubbling back in your stomach like mixing pop rocks and pop. “It’s…Bruce made Jason feel like he was only ever good enough as Robin. And he made him and Dick sign a fucking contract about not being scared or something. I don’t even know. So, Jason gets fucking PTSD from Deathstroke because Dick got Deathstroke’s son fucking killed and Bruce sends him to therapy and then for some fucking reason, decides to just….take it away. Robin can’t be scared so Jason got immediate help, I fucking guess.” You sneer and you're still so mad at Bruce.

So much of this is on him and he just left. He left Gotham in the hands of the Titans as if they weren’t busy with their own shit. He leaves and Jason’s back but he wouldn’t know because he’s unreachable. His own son is back from the damn dead and he doesn’t even know. His other son is being hunted down and again, he doesn’t even know. Dick lost Jason, too but it was all about Bruice even though Bruce is the one who could have prevented this. He could have made Jason see he didn’t need to be Robin. He could have killed the Joker sooner. He could have just let him be Robin. There were options and Bruce always chose the worst one. You all let Jason down, but at least you and the other Titans are here unlike Bruce.

“Why…I mean…” Molly sucks in a breath, trying desperately to understand Jason. “So, he makes an anti-fear drug and I’m assuming it’s the opposite of the fear gas?” Molly asks while you nod. “So, he’s just…not scared.” Molly rolls her eyes. “He doesn’t feel anything else, does he? I mean…it’s why we can’t live without our adrenaline glands.”

You nod, walking over to the trash can to toss out the paper towels. “Yeah, it’s a little more complicated than that but yeah. It, uh, it’s like it gets rid of hesitance, ya know? And then you just….do whatever seems fun and it thrives off of anger. It doesn’t matter what you do either as long as you’re fighting. That’s how we fought. Neither of us really…tried. But, we did anyway and that’s why. So, uh, yeah. But, um….I think Crane is withholding it. It looked like he was going through withdrawal tonight.” You explain as you chew the inside of your cheek.

“He was actually there while Excellent Gotham was hit?” Hurt consumes Molly's voice as her brows raise.

“Yeah, outside. He didn’t know I was there. He didn’t see me, I guess but that doesn’t matter.”

Molly watches you carefully and as much as Molly wants to believe you're here out of the kindness of your heart to let her know about Jason, she also knows that is not the case. Everything is hitting the fan. You're friends with Tim and you both could have died. Jason is targeting the Titans. Gar is Jason’s friend, too. Jason knows you're always at Excellent Gotham. If he’s willing to target them, who else is he willing to target? You would not be standing here confessing everything if you weren’t scared and if something else didn’t happen.

Molly scolds your name as you walk over, taking a seat across from her. “Why are you really here? You didn’t come because I deserved to know. I know you.”

You shift in your seat. “If he shows up here, calls you, texts you, I need you to call me, Dick, and Gar, okay? Don’t let him in. I don’t think he’ll come after you because you’re his friend, too but…I also never imagined he’d ever target the Drakes.”

“He’ll know you came here.” Molly gestures a hand toward you, eyes darting to where the necklace normally sits.

“Ditched my phone and necklace.” You state. “I’m going back for everything when I’m done here and I don’t actually think that’s how he knew about Tim. I don’t think he’s tracking me or anything but yeah, I wasn’t taking that risk.”

“So, I just…call you guys?”

You nod. “Yeah, keep him here or on the phone until we show up. I’ll text you their numbers when I grab my phone. I just…want you to know. And uh, don’t…don’t go out of your way to contact him, please, okay? I really, really, want you left out of it. Crane is fucking insane. And I know he’s gotten into Jason’s head so Jason’s been trying to kill Dick. I think if Bruce were here he’d be going after him, too. I don’t know if the hit on Excellent Gotham was all Jason or Crane. I don’t know. The more people involved, the more people Crane can weaponize Jason against.”

Molly takes everything in and she’s starting to grow worried for Jason. If Jason is targeting the Titans, of all people, where is that going to leave him? Even if all of this is Crane and the drug, what’s going to happen to him? You're sitting here confessing everything to her which means, to some degree, you've lost hope in him. And that’s not something Molly ever imagined happening. Is there only one way for this to end?

“What’s gonna happen to him?” Molly asks quietly.

You shrug. “I don’t know.” Your eyes start to water. “I hope he uh, stops taking the drug entirely and uh…then he comes home but I don’t know.” You sniffle softly, biting down your own tears.

If Jason doesn’t stop taking the drug and he keeps working with Crane, that only leaves two options. Lock him up in Arkham or kill him. Not that anyone wants to do the second option, it’s just that Jason will force it. He won’t go out quietly or easily. It’ll be a fight to the death and you know that and you hate the idea of it. You think about everything you could possibly do to take the drug away. The only other thing is to try and kidnap him but, given your history, that just seems fucked up. You don’t want him kidnapped or in Arkham or dead. All you can do is hope he snaps out of it.

Molly nods softly before tilting her head to the right slightly. You're looking down at the table, tugging your sleeves over your hands. “Are you okay?”

You shake your head softly before looking up at Molly. “I, uh, I ended things tonight.” You state as you watch Molly’s frown grow deeper. “And, I don’t mean it, I think we can get him back but, uh…I told him I gave up on him and I…regret it.”

“I’m so sorry.” Molly says and she knows it’s bad for you to even say it. You're usually careful with your words when you're angry. “Have you tried everything else? To get him back?”

“Everything. I’ve tried talking to him and fighting him and yelling and we tried to trap him. I tried defending him and…yeah.” You nod, the lump growing in your throat once more. “But…I promised him I’d never be like everyone else and I stood there and I did it anyway. I don’t fucking mean it but I just…he could have gotten me and Tim killed. His dad might die. It’s not really Jason but it’s just…I just regret it. He’d never do that to me.” There’s a crack in your voice as your eyes start to burn and turn a haunting shade of red.

“We’re not kids anymore.” Molly says sternly. “You can’t keep every promise you make. Jason has always been bull-headed. I’ve known him for years. If Jason is good at something, it’s pushing people away.”

“Yeah, I know. His self-preservation is just self-destruction in disguise. But...”

“No, fuck that. You just said he blew up Hank. He’s trying to kill Dick and he could have killed you more than once. He died and instead of coming back home to you or even crashing here for some reason, he became Red Hood. And that’s fucked up. I love Jason but what he’s doing is wrong and maybe he needs to hit rock bottom alone for it to make sense to him. You defend him against everyone and everything no matter what he does. Did you ever stop to think that the Deathstroke situation was his fault? You and Gar went along with the plan but Jason wanted to prove himself so you agreed. It was his fault. Sure, Dick had a hand in it and so did Rose and the other Titans. But it was Jason who didn’t listen. It was Jason who thought he was better than a group of Titans. It was Jason that got you both dropped from a skyscraper. But, you come back and you take the blame for some reason. Why? Because you didn’t tell him no? So? I met Gar and I don’t think Gar would have told him no with or without you. So, if it’s your fault, it’s Gar’s fault but you won’t say it’s Gar’s fault. It’s Jason’s.”

Molly isn’t going to let you beat yourself up over this again. You telling Jason you're done and you're giving up, that’s a huge thing. And Molly knows it. Molly would love to believe there is another way. Jason doesn’t handle abandonment well but if you're doing it, there is no other option. Jason needs to understand, in some way, that he can’t just take a drug and make everything okay again. That’s not how it works and it hurts people. He’s hurting himself and he’s hurting everyone else who cares about him. Maybe Jason needs to feel alone to get it.

“Okay, yeah, maybe. But, I just…what if this is worse, Molly? What then?” You sniffle. “What if…ya know? I don’t want it to get him killed again.”

“He’s going to get himself killed again regardless and you’re going to blame yourself for it no matter what you do.” Molly says harshly. “You’ve tried everything else, try this. If it doesn’t work, then you tried.”

“That’s not good enough!” You stand up, slamming your hands on the table. “Just trying isn’t fucking good enough! It has to fucking work!” There's a squeak to your voice as if your vocal cords are finally giving out.

“No!” Molly yells back. “Sometimes, things just aren’t enough, no matter how hard we try. That’s just how it is.” Molly shakes her head. 

"Yeah, but it should still be enough. It just has to be. It has to be...worth it." Your voice grows desperate.

"It's always worth it. It's always worth it to try.  Do you think Jason regrets trying with Catherine? Do you blame Jason for Catherine dying?"

"What? No, of course not." You scoff.

"Exactly. Because he tried. He didn't let her overdose. He could have. He could have let her starve, too but he didn't. He loves his mom and she tried, too. But, you know how addiction is. Jason's trying wasn't enough to save her and she died. Catherine trying to be a parent wasn't enough and it lead Jason to the streets and shitty foster homes. But, that doesn't mean their effort wasn't worth it. Bruce tried, as much as you hate him, he tried and it got Jason killed and Dick a mess. I tried and you still took off." Molly shakes her head. "Dick has tried with all of you and you're killing people and losing your mind, Jason is a drug addict working for Scarecrow, Gar is trying to pick everyone off the floor, Hank blew up, Jericho got killed, Dawn is gone. That doesn't mean his effort was wasted or useless."

You let out a breath and maybe Molly makes a point. There is a point in trying. It might work but you would never know unless you try. Putting in the effort is worth it but it's really hard to swallow when you feel so guilty about it. And what if it's not enough this time? Where is that supposed to leave you and Jason? All you want is him to be home and happy and healthy and safe.

“What do we do when it’s not enough? How do people even come back from that though?”

"Then we try something else." Molly answers simply. "And we keep trying. You giving up might be enough because if you give up, I’ll side with you and he knows that. So, will Gar. So, will the Titans. He’ll be alone. You’re the last living person that would ever give up on him and you’re his last chance at climbing out of the hole he dug himself. Maybe it is enough but you’re never going to know if you pick up your phone and call him.”

You nod your head quickly. “I know. It’s just...I wish I would have just been enough to keep him...out of this. Like...that my validation was enough and love for him was. Or yours and Gar's. I just hope you're right and trying this way is enough. I don't--”

“No.” Molly protests. “And you are enough. Don’t let his bullshit make you ever think that you’re not. You are. And he fucking tried with you, too. I have never seen him try in a way that he did with you. So, it was always enough for him. But, sometimes, being enough isn’t the problem. It’s bigger than you and me and Gar. You’re enough. And he tried. And you tried. And I’m betting he’s still trying in his own Jason way because if not, you’d be dead. And we both know it. So, he’s still trying so you try this way. You tell him you give up and then you figure something else out. You have never known how to quit anything in your entire life. I mean, you would just ghost people because you can’t quit a damn relationship.”

“Okay, that went from inspiring to mean. Thanks.” You quip. "I didn't ghost people." You mutter through a huff.

Molly narrows her eyes, offering you an accusatory look. "Yeah, you did." Molly argues. "But, you didn't ghost him, you actually ended things tonight because you’re still trying.” Molly pleads with you. “That is you trying and that is what’s important. And you don’t mean it. So, what are you gonna do?”

“Wait, I guess.” You shrug. “Try to figure out what else they could have planned. Work on the inside.” You suck in a breath, Molly waiting for another idea. "Bruce has a cure for the fear gas on the Batcomputer, maybe we can work on a cure for this one. Or just destroy the batch Crane is making while also finding a way to just take him out. Take him out with the drug and Jason has no choice then." You ramble, just tossing out the first things that come to your head.

“Exactly. He thinks you’re giving up but you’re not. You’re trying to find another way to save him. Don’t beat yourself up for it. But, then if he calls me, I’m going to talk to him not because you told me to but because I don’t want him mixed up in this shit either.” Molly sucks in a breath. “The one thing that has always worked with Jason is just having someone who listens.”

“I know. Shit sucks.” You let out a deep sigh. "Hope it works."

“We’ll get him back. You’re not alone in this either.” Molly offers a soft smile. “Then, you two can sort your shit out and give each other a fair shot at this. It’ll all work out.”

“That’s really optimistic.”

“I believe in you and I believe in Jason.”

You offer a soft smile. “Thanks.” You sniffle softly. “You should talk to Gar, you two got this whole optimism thing going. Could be like motivational speakers or some shit.”

“You’re hilarious.” Sarcasm fills Molly's voice this time.

“I’m an idiot and hilarious. Mulit-facidet.”

“Right.” Molly rolls her eyes. “How was he though? I mean…after you told him?”

“He gave me this look once, uh, the day we got together and uh….he asked me what was so bad about him.” You shake your head. “I mean, I wanted to burst into tears with the look he gave me and the way he said it. It just….fuck Bruce, man.” You scoff. “And fuck me I guess because he gave me that same damn look tonight. You can be as optimistic as you want, but I don’t he’s going to forgive me for it.”

“I told him once that it was you.” Molly states. “You were it for him and he was it for you. It was just the two of you but you’re both stupid and stubborn. You guys were together the next day.” Molly’s eyes widen. “I still think that’s true.”

“Why?”

“Because you’re the only one he told he was alive. He could have told me when he brought Diego back but he didn’t. He told you. He could have dragged you into the Crane stuff but he didn’t. I don’t think for a second, he did it to be an asshole or to push you away and I don’t think you believe he did that either. And that day, outside the house, he knew exactly what to do. Your hands were glowing and he didn’t even hesitate like he knew you’d never hurt him. Because Jason is forgiving. Stubborn and self-destructive, but forgiving.”

You remember your first night in Gotham and how casual he was but he seemed so happy and excited. You don't think you ever saw him smile so much before. And you think about how you almost kissed him that night because he was being Jason, annoying and yet somehow charming. You think he wanted to kiss you, too. You remember how you both were happy then. You both were happy before and you think about the day you blurted out that you loved him. It was the start and end of everything. You remember how he kissed you with everything in him that day as if he couldn't fathom being loved for just being Jason Todd. And you remember how happy he was. Happy and loved and safe. You wonder if there's a pit somewhere that can send you both back to those moments.

“Yeah, I hope you’re right.” You offer a sad smile. “Really miss him.”

“We’ll get him back.” Molly smiles softly.

“Thanks." You clear your throat. "Uh, I gotta head out but thank you. I’m still gonna keep my distance a bit just in case but if something happens, call me and same thing if anything with Jason happens.”

“Of course.” Molly offers a reassuring nod.

“I’m still sorry.” You scrunch your nose.

“I know.” Molly scoffs. “I forgive you. Just work on your shit after this is over.”

“You got it.” You roll your eyes before you head out.

You head back to Excellent Gotham to grab your things before you head back to the manor. Once back at the manor, you find Gar and the two of you sit down to discuss the night. You explain everything to him, what happened at Excellent Gotham, Mr. Drake, Tim, Molly, and Jason. You explain it all just trying to keep him informed and then you say you don’t want to be involved in the whole thing anymore. Maybe it’s safer for everyone if you aren’t involved. Dick is already painting a big enough target on everyone, you don’t want to contribute to that. So, the two of you talk back and forth well into the night, Gar just trying his best to be there for you but he tells you almost the same thing that Molly said. Besides agreeing with giving up. He knows you didn’t tell him that to give up literally, but he is worried it’ll send Jason further over the edge. He doesn’t say that but he doesn’t tell you it’s all going to be okay either. So, you both just sit and talk until you fall asleep.

The following day, everyone is gathered in the Batcave around the Batcomputer. Dick is explaining that Jason and Crane are putting the drug on the streets and last night was a just a trial. You broke the news to Dick when you woke up and right about now, you're regretting it, Dick says none of you can look at Red Hood as Jason anymore. Not when they're distributing the drug to innocent people on the streets.

"Is that really fair?" You ask as you cross your arms over your chest.

"Yes." Dick answers sternly. "You know what he's done and what he's doing. You took the drug. Do you want other people—"

"That's not what I'm saying." You sigh. "Look, it didn't turn me into a killer. Or some shit. And I'm not like.....normal. So, Jason has to be in there, off the drug. Like all of these people."

"But we can't view him like that. It'll cloud our judgment. Right now, he is Red Hood and him and Crane need to be stopped. If you don't want to be involved, I understand."

"I thought you were done anyway?" Gar asks, still a little bitter about the conversation from the night before.

He tries to be there for you but he really doesn't agree with you giving up and not wanting to help. They need you because you're the only one that has ever been able to get through to Jason. And without you, who's going to convince Dick not to kill him? Or Kory? They're both tired of this and Gar doesn't stand a chance arguing with them. You, on the other hand, will argue and fight to the death if that's what it takes.

"I am." You snip. "I'm just saying." You roll your shoulders. "I fucking told you, he was worried and scared last night. Crane is withholding it from him. So, maybe we give him a day or something to come around, let the drug flush itself out. I was fine the next day but Jason's been taking it, probably, nonstop for a week. Erasing who is, I don't think that's gonna help." You narrow your eyes. "Unless, you have other plans than bringing him home."

"He's had plenty of chances to come home." Kory says, putting a hand on her hip.

"I thought you were against innocent people getting hurt?" Dick questions.

"Alright, if you wanna argue about morals and shit, go find Bruce." You scoff. "Whatever." You put your hands up in defeat, knowing there's no changing their minds this time. You don't even know why you're here.

Dick continues to explain he's going to use an illegal computer while Kory and Blackfire have someone else to take care of, leaving you, Gar, and Conner to themselves.

"What are you going to do when we find Jason?" Gar asks as Conner excuses himself to grab food for him and Krypto.

"Well, I guess nothing, Gar." You shake your head, a snip in your voice as you spin slowly in your chair at the Batcomputer.

"He depends on us and you're just giving up." Gar protests.

"He almost fucking shot me and he almost killed Jack!" You yell as the guilt and regret continue to chew away at your bones. "He didn't pull the damn trigger but he already knew what they were gonna do."

"But it wasn't him." Gar's voice goes quiet but still holds the same annoyance.

"Yeah, but he's going to have to deal with his own consequences. He woke up one day and decided he didn't want to be scared anymore and went to fucking Crane. That was Jason Todd's decision. Before Red Hood. He needs to deal with it." You grit your teeth and it sucks.

It all just sucks and Gar is really making the whole thing worse. You don't expect him to side with you all the time, that's fine. But, it'd be really nice if he would just accept this. Molly did and Molly agrees. It is torture not picking up the phone and calling Jason. You just wish Gar could see that.

"He was desperate." Gar defends and you don't know why he's being so stubborn about it.

"So was I." You say softly. "But I didn't go to a psychopath for help. He has to deal with it." You say quietly. "Why are you so..." You wave your hands around slightly, raising a brow at him. "I don't know, defensive about it?"

"The whole team is just falling apart." Gar shrugs. "And Dick doesn't seem like he really wants to try to help Jason anymore."

"I know." You roll your chair over to Gar's before putting your hands on his shoulders. "It's hard but you keep your optimism. I'm not gonna let Dick or Kory kill him. I might not stand a chance but they'll have to go through me if that's what it's going to lead to. You know I don't even mean it. But I can't just take it back. You know I can't. I've tried everything else, Gar." You let out a sigh, dropping your hands from Gar's shoulders. "I'm gonna go to the hospital and check on Tim. I owe him that since I can't tell him anything else." You stand up and start to walk off. "Let me know if something happens though, please. I do care. I just....can't, Gar. It hurts."

"Can I come?" Gar asks with the scrunch of his nose, scratching the back of his head.

"Actually, yeah." You nod your head and offer him a soft smile. "That'd be really nice." You jerk your head towards the hallway. "Come on, I'll drive."

Jason shows up at the old ice cream factory where Crane's been having the anti-fear drug cooked. With the anti-fear drug making its way through Jason's system over the past few hours, he's still feeling a little confident as he walks in for another inhaler, even if it feels like there's a weight tugging at his chest. Technically, disturbing the drug worked which means he was right. He's just actively trying to forget about what happened after. He tries to focus solely on being the one in charge now. He is not replaceable or expendable and he's hoping Crane sees that now. He just destroyed the last good thing in his life for this plan and the second the drug wears off, he's consumed with regret and guilt. If that doesn't show dedication, what else does?

And Crane seems to be fine with it. He doesn't seem angry or upset. And that, for some reason, is making Jason feel uneasy. Bruce and Dick would be pissed and would be screaming at him, even if he were right. But, Crane is just saying he understands and he's not like Bruce. He forgives him for betraying him. Something seems off but Jason isn't going to push to find out what's going on. That just seems like pushing his luck. So, he plucks an inhaler from the table and hits it.

But, there's something wrong.

It burns. His throat feels like it's blistering from the inside out. His lungs feel like they're going to spasm right out of his chest. Jason starts coughing, asking Crane what's in the inhaler as his legs grow weak. It's hard to breathe and despite the drug he just took two hours ago, he's starting to panic. The last time it was hard to breathe like this, he died. He died. He died. He died and it was brutal and terrifying. He can't breathe and why can't he breathe? What did Crane give him? Why would Crane do this to him? Is Crane really going to kill him?

Jason's head spins as his limbs grow weak making him fall to the floor, trying to grip the table to stabilize himself. But, he falls anyway and his heart is beating so fast he thinks he might go into cardiac arrest. Everything spins and fades in and out of blurry and full focus. He can't fucking breathe and everything is heavy. It's heavy and his eyes are heavy and then it all goes black.

You and Gar make it to the hospital and spend a few hours hanging out with Tim who's grateful for the company. The good news is that his dad is going to be just fine and they're talking about releasing him as early as tomorrow. The bullet didn't hit anything major which is pure luck. But, he's thankful to have someone to talk to and keep him company anyway even if a part of him is still a little bitter about the whole ordeal, as he should be.

But, then Gar gets a text from Dick. They know where Jason and Crane are. They're getting together to shut them down and bring them in. Dick, specifically, doesn't want you there. Given everything that's happened, he doesn't want you involved anymore. Either you'll be a target or you're going to flip. If this ends poorly, you'll be a problem with bringing Jason and Crane in. It's in everyone's best interest if you stay out of it this time.

"Sorry, uh...I have to go." Gar says quietly.

You eye him and you know. "Dick?"

"Yeah." Gar nods his head. "He's gonna come get me so you can stay here."

"Ahh." You nod once, your heart sinking. You're staying out of it anyway but if Dick wants Gar back and is coming for him, that means maybe they found them. Some part of you still wants to be there just in case something happens. But, you can't very well go argue with Dick outside of a hospital entrance about going to fight Red Hood and Scarecrow, so you just suck in a breath. "Um...can...can you just...ya know?"

Gar hesitates and he thinks for a second. If it came down to picking between Dick, Kory, Conner, and Blackfire or Jason, who would he pick? The Titans are his family but so is Jason and he doesn't want to bury another friend. He doesn't want to bury him again. Gar thinks about it and he's thinking if it came to it, maybe he would stand in front of Jason just to make sure Dick didn't kill him because he would do the same for Dick. And Jason would do the same for him.

"I'll do everything I can and I'll call you." Gar says. "Promise."

"Thanks, Gar." You offer a sad smile.

"Of course." Gar smiles back before looking to Tim. "Nice meeting you, dude. Glad your dad is okay." Gar says with a smile.

"Thanks, yeah, you, too." Tim nods his head as the two of them say their goodbyes and Gar heads out. Your eyes linger on the exit, finding it hard to just sit here. What if you saying you're giving up gives the Titans some right of passage to kill him? What then? "What? You're not gonna go?"

You shake your head. "No, I, uh, I thought I'd hang out with you a little longer. It's probably just some bullshit anyway." You shift in your seat with the roll of your eyes.

"Jason almost gets my dad killed and now you're not going to be involved?" Tim questions, a bit of hurt and anger in his voice.

"You're not gonna quit are you?" You question him with a slight grimace.

"Nope." Tim shakes his head.

"I broke up with him, not my business." You shake your head. "And that's if it's about Jason. Not sure why it would be but ya know." You roll your shoulders, almost giving up on keeping this whole thing a secret from Tim, too.

"Right." Tim scoffs.

"Look," You face him in defeat. "You want me to tell you things I don't know about," Your eyes widen, a hint for him to shut up about it. "But you also won't trust me. I'm just asking you to trust me, okay?"

"Will you ever tell me?" Tim asks carefully.

If you were being honest, you think you can trust Tim to keep it all a secret. He could be on forums and showing everything he has to news outlets about Bruce being Batman and Dick being Robin and Nightwing. If he wanted to tell everyone, he could and enough people would believe him. But, he keeps it to himself besides to you because you're a Titan. So, you think maybe you'll tell him at some point when everything calms down. It's all a little dangerous right now but maybe one day you will.

"Maybe." You shrug. "But, you have got to fucking trust me."

"Alright, fine." Tim gives you a soft but triumphant smile. He's won enough for now and you know it.

That seems to be enough for Tim to drop it for now as the two of you go back to talking about everything that's not vigilante-related for once.

Jason finally starts to come to, his head heavy and throbbing. His eyes are burning as if he has the worst cold he's ever had and his vision is blurry, coming into focus a little slower than usual. His wrists are duct taped to the arms of a chair and his limbs feel too weak to even fight. He tugs just once but it's useless. He's been trained for this. He escaped that time with Deathstroke easily because it was in the training and duct tape is easy to escape from. But, he can't and the real drug has worn off. Tears start to brim his eyes and he has never felt more alone than he does right now.

He thought he could trust Crane. Him and Crane are supposed to be in this together. He said they had the same view of the city. But then Crane poisoned him. Why would he do that to him? Jason trusted him and Crane poisoned him. He knows he went behind Crane's back but Jason never did anything to hurt Crane yet Jason's the one duct taped to a chair and drugged. Jason swallows the hard lump in his throat and he should have just stayed in line.

He did it again.

He fucked it all up. He just had to go off and do his own thing with targeting Excellent Gotham, giving the drug to those random guys behind Crane's back. It's the same story over and over again, he just can't help himself and Jason wonders what the fuck is so wrong with him that he can't just stay in line. People trust him and then he pushes them away and he betrays them and he goes off on his own. Why does he always do this? It's all his fault and he trusted Crane. He really did. And he feels so alone.

Crane was the last person Jason thought he had that he could trust. Jason burned every single bridge he had with the Titans. Kory is going to be pissed and is going to take Dick's side, especially after Hank. Dawn would never trust him after what he did. Conner doesn't know him well enough. Jason has tried to kill Dick. After what happened last night with you, Jason doesn't even think Gar would help him. He's all alone. He's alone and he hates being this alone. He has no one and his mind is clear for the first time in a week. He is fucking terrified and filled with shame and regret and remorse and everything is hitting him so hard he just wants to scream. He hates it.

You were right. He does regret it. He regrets all of it. He shouldn't have gone to Crane. He shouldn't have killed Hank. He shouldn't have targeted Dick. He never should have fought you or went after the Drake's. Everything he's done, he is regretting and there's nothing he can do about it. But he remembers you saying he can call Dick. Dick is his brother. He tried to kill him but maybe you're right. You would never tell him to call Dick if you didn't know for sure. Because even when you give up, Jason knows you wouldn't risk him getting killed. He has to get out of here but he's weak and tired.

"I pity you, Jason." Crane says, but his voice is foggy as if he were down a long and distant tunnel. "You were reckless and you were impatient last night. And you act out of fear, not out of strength. You see, you're still afraid of Dick Grayson. And I failed you. I failed you as a teacher. But here's today's lesson. You know how I broke Batman? It wasn't with fear, it was with patience. I'm going to show you that you don't need to go running around Gotham, trying to destroy the Titans, you can just sit back and watch as the Titans destroy themselves."

Jason remains silent, unsure how he's even supposed to argue or if he can. It was Crane's idea to destroy the Titans anyway. Jason has just been so mad at them and felt abandoned he thought Crane was right but now he's not so sure. He can't be sure anymore. It all feels like lies. He's sobering up and everything feels like it was a lie. Just to use him.

"That's how we're going to take care of that...unpleasant girl of yours." Crane puts his hands behind his back, standing as if he owns the entire world. Jason's jaw clenches, his eyes focusing on Crane. "Patience. You wouldn't do it but you don't have to." Crane offers a kind smile and it makes Jason's skin crawl. "You see, your little act last night I'm sure really bothered her, right? You could have gotten her killed and her little friend. She has nowhere to go now, besides to the Titans and as the Titans crumble, so will she."

"That's not part of the plan." Jason chokes out, finding the energy to argue this point. "You said we'd leave her out of it."

Crane promised him from the beginning they would keep you out of it as long as you didn't side with the Titans. And you technically, did not do that. You've only been on Jason's side, just using Dick as a way to try and help him. Crane promised they would leave you out of it and you could join their side if you wanted to. Jason's getting the idea that was just a lie, too just to get him to cooperate with whatever Crane wanted to do.

"Did I?" Crane asks. "I don't think I ever said that. But," Crane sucks in a breath, leaning down to be eye-to-eye with Jason. "She threatened to kill me. She even beat me up." Crane almost sounds pitiful and hurt. "I told you, Jason. She's not on your side and she never was. Now. You can sit back and watch her destroy herself." Crane leans up, walking to the window to watch the workers.

You already gave up on him. You and him are done. There is no coming back from last night. But the panic still floods Jason's system because he knows, despite everything his mind has ever conditioned him to think, it was the hardest thing you had to do. He knows you tried to do everything besides that and he loves you anyway. He loves you anyway and he dragged you into this. He put you right in the middle of him and your friends. Your family that you tried to have. He did that to you.

Last night you said all Jason has done since coming back is hurt you, and you're right. He never meant to. He never dreamed of it hurting you but he did and now he's terrified it just got that much worse for you. You deserve better and Jason has no idea how he's supposed to get out of this.

Crane has to let him go eventually. Crane will need Jason for something and he can warn you. You told him not to contact you or Gar but maybe this will be an exception because you have to know. And maybe he can take your advice for fucking once and just call Dick. Because Crane just drugged him and is holding him hostage. Maybe he never could trust him.

It's quiet on the way back to the Manor. It's as if no one really knows what to say or how to say it. Sure, the fight went just fine just like it usually does. They make a really good team and Blackfire is a good addition to the team. But, they didn't get Crane and they didn't get Jason. Instead, Crane and Jason are in the wind but Crane was also holding Jason hostage. Something happened that led Crane to do that and Gar is the one sitting here wondering what they're going to do about it and who the hell is going to be the one to break it to you. It was Dick's bright idea for you not to come along and maybe if you would have, you could have gotten Jason. Maybe if they had one more person it would have went differently. The team is divided and Gar hates it.

"Who's gonna tell her about Jason?" Gar asks and they walk through the Batcave.

The other Titans turn to look at him, glancing between each other before landing on Dick. It's not Conner or Blackfire's place to say anything, it's not their job. That's all Kory and Dick but Dick doesn't seem like he's going to be the one to say anything. You can say you're done all you want but Dick knows if they tell you, you'll go off the rails looking for Jason. It could get you killed, Jason killed, and you could kill Crane. Even if you do find them, what's to stop Crane from kidnapping you, too? Crane clearly has a way to do it if he can do it to Jason. And what if it's a trap? What if Jason isn't being held captive but it's a way to get the Titans to a different location? Telling you seems like it might just be a bad idea and in your best interest for your own safety.

"We don't have to tell her." Dick says.

Gar's eyes nearly bulge out of his head. "Seriously, dude?" Gar scoffs. "It's Jason. She's going to be pissed if she finds out and we didn't tell her."

"She decided she doesn't want any part of this anymore and I think that's for the best. If we tell her, we don't know what she'll do. We still need Crane." Dick argues, keeping it short.

"Screw that, man." Gar groans. "He took Jason and we know he did. There was proof of it back there. If something happens to him, she's gonna never forgive any of us. Let her decide if she wants back in."

"He's right, Gar. She's been a little bit of loose canon lately." Kory offers kindly.

Gar is also tired of the secrets. All keeping secrets from each other has done is get them hurt. That's all it's done and now they want to keep this huge thing from you? That's insane. You have every right to know and he doesn't understand why they would want to keep it from you. Maybe you'll explode but it's not like anyone else is going to go save Jason. What if he actually is in danger?

"Because of everything that's happened!" Gar defends, tossing his arms out to his sides. "If you guys were in her shoes, you'd probably be loose canons, too! I mean, Dick has been going off on his own most of the time. Bruce even snapped. And we just have to pretend like everything is normal?"

"I mean..." Conner chimes in. "She didn't tell us he was alive."

"Yeah, and that sucked but she was scared for his life. It sucks but at least I get it. And it was one day! What is keeping this from her going to do?"

Dick crosses his arms and he's really missing the days where the only problems he had were Jason and you pulling some dumb prank just to harass him. "Do you think she'll sit back and let us handle it or do you think she's going to take it into her own hands?"

Gar knows you will. It's Jason but Gar also knows that if it were him, you would do the same thing. The only reason you didn't come after him by yourself with CADMUS is because you didn't know how to and it was CADMUS not just one person. But, Gar also got the story about you being the driving force to make sure you all saved him, regardless of what was happening to Dick. Gar was the first priority. You're going to take this into your own hands but at this point, Gar is ready to jump right in with you. Jason came to save him.

"I know." Gar shrugs. "But what if she doesn't? What if she asks for help this time? We just don't even give her the option?"

"That could get her killed. It's for her own protection." Kory says.

"Well, that sucks." Gar snaps. "Keeping secrets from each other doesn't keep any of us safe." Gar scoffs as he goes to leave.

Now he knows how you feel. Arguing with them is exhausting. They won't even listen. It's either whatever they want to do or nothing. That's normally fine. Gar normally agrees and Dick and Kory usually do know better but not this time. This time it's wrong, for your own protection or not.

"Gar." Dick calls.

Gar turns around quickly, a look of defeat on his face. "If she asks, I'm not gonna lie." Gar shrugs his shoulders before he turns away and heads upstairs.

Gar finds you in the kitchen, rummaging through the cabinets for food. He wonders if this is what it felt like when you knew Jason was alive. His stomach feels like it might fall right to his feet, heavy with guilt. He wonders if you were also mad at him for asking you to keep it a secret because Gar's mad at Dick and Kory. It really fucking sucks and Gar wonders how the hell you even manage to keep everything a secret. He's been standing here for just a few seconds and he already wants to snap and spill everything. Maybe that's why you've been a bit off, because this just sucks and it's heavy.

You pop your head out from behind the cabinet door, a granola bar sticking out of your mouth, feeling someone had entered the kitchen. "Hey." You greet as you pluck the bar from your mouth.

"What are you doing?" Gar questions.

"Looking for food. Hospital food sucks." You say softly. "I guess." You mutter quietly as you pluck a box of Mac and cheese from the cabinet, a displeased look on your face.

"Don't you like that?" Gar asks, entering further into the kitchen.

"Yeah," You sigh. "Just not feeling it but I don't wanna go through the effort of making anything else or looking." You look at the box and back to Gar. "Is there real milk in this?"

"Uh, yeah." Gar chuckles, sticking his hands in his jacket pockets. "Why?"

"Could have made it with the vegan butter and oat milk if you wanted some but never mind, I guess." You sigh, moving to the cabinet with the pots. But the room goes oddly silent, making you look back at Gar. He's just standing there, watching you. "What happened?" You ask as you turn around, leaning against the counter.

Gar shifts his weight on his feet. "What makes you think something happened?" Gar asks softly.

"You have a look and you're quiet. You didn't point out Bruce probably has vegan Mac and cheese somewhere or Dick probably pick some up for you." You explain. "I can always tell with you and Jason when something's wrong."

You watch as Gar looks to the ground and you're terrified what's going to come out of his mouth. Jason can't be dead again because Gar probably would be crying right now but he's not and his eyes aren't red which means he isn't sucking it up for your sake. The other Titans are probably fine because Gar wouldn't be so hesitant to tell you if something happened to them. So, you have to assume it has to do with Jason and there's a small part of you that thinks the Titans won this time and they sent Jason to Arkham instead of bringing him home. You swear you'll lose it if that's what happened.

"Um..." Gar scratches the back of his neck as he looks back to you. "Can you promise not to freak out?"

"I can't promise that." You shake your head as you brace for whatever bullshit Gar is gonna say next. "Jason, right? Something happened?"

Gar nods softly. "By the time we got to the office where Crane and Jason were, they were gone. But, we think Crane had Jason duct taped to a chair and took him with him."

You blink a few times and you swear you just forgot how to breathe. Not again. This cannot possibly be happening again.

"C-crane...you-I mean...you guys think C-Crane kidnapped him?" You sputter.

Gar nods. "Yeah."

Jason said you're the one with a habit of getting kidnapped but so far, you're both two to two here. And you hate it. Why the fuck would Crane need to kidnap him in the first place? If they're working together, then Crane has no reason to. Unless Jason is actually turning on him. In which case, it just got really dangerous to be Jason Todd.

"Do you know where they went?" You ask, trying to keep your voice level.

"No." Gar answers shamefully.

You offer a large nod as your appetite vanishes. You push from the counter, leaving the box and pot on the counter. "Thanks for telling me." You say as you walk up to Gar. "You guys aren't going to look for him, are you? And Dick said not to tell me, right?"

Gar nods once more, letting out a deep breath. "Dick thinks it could be a trap and yeah, he's worried what you'll do."

"Got it." You let out a scoff with a bitter chuckle.

All you can hear is Tim in the back of your head about how you're supposed to be a hero. Well, so is Dick. You think that word is starting to lose its fucking meaning because what kind of hero just lets a psychopath kidnap someone? You know it's more complicated than that but they're brothers and Jason was kidnapped. Again. It was fine the first time, but what? Round two and he's on his own? Is that how it is?

"You're gonna go, aren't you?" Gar asks.

"Yeah, and if Dick's gotta fucking problem with it, he'll have to go through me. I'm not letting Crane kidnap Jason and hold him fucking hostage. I don't care." You shake your head, venom shooting through your words.

There's a bit of relief that fills Gar's chest. Maybe Dick is right and it's a trap but what if it's not? Deathstroke and Dr. Light could have been a trap, it kind of was. But, Dick went anyway to save Jason and you. Trap or not, you all should be trying to find Jason and help him just in case it's not a trap.

"Can, uh, can I help?" Gar asks, making you do a double take.

Gar tends to do what Dick asks, especially since the whole Deathstroke thing and you both accidentally losing Conner for a day. You kind of figured he wouldn't try to really stop you because that would be useless but you thought maybe he'd offer some voice of reason. The last thing you ever expected was Gar to ask if he could help, despite Dick's wishes.

"Huh?" You hum, eyes wide. "What?"

"He's my friend, too." Gar shrugs. "And he came to save me. I wanna help find him." Gar lets out a breath, eyes hopeful you'll let him help.

"Yeah, uh...I mean...it could be a trap. I mean...are you sure? Dick is gonna be pissed." You furrow your brows, still eying him with confusion.

"I know." Gar nods. "But, I don't want you doing this alone either in case it is a trap or something happens like last time. I just wanna help. We can't let Crane hold him hostage."

You nod quickly, figuring maybe it would be nice to not do this completely alone. "Okay, but, can you stay here? I might have to do some stuff you don't like and if it is a trap, we might be fucked." You say and Gar is about to protest. "No, no, I have an idea. Follow me." You gesture for him to follow you as you walk past him.

You and Gar walk to Jason's room, you shutting and locking the door behind you. You go to one of Jason's hiding spots and grab the tablet. You always put it back, exactly where he kept it, just in case. You unlock the tablet and go to the software used to track your necklace. The tracking device is only synced with his tablet and his phone since you hated the idea of Bruce being able to track you. Jason was always fine.

"Here." You hand it over, showing a green blinking dot right on top of Wayne Manor. "You track me. My phone is synced to the Batcomputer. I'll text you every hour on the hour. If I miss, you call and if I don't call back in thirty seconds, get Dick. Something went wrong."

"Why do you know about this and just why?" Gar asks, confused as to what's even going on. "Why can't I go with?"

"Because Jason is a shithead who was lying to me before he died. I know where all of his hiding spots are and he knows where all of mine are. I, apparently, am the one with a habit of being kidnapped but I didn't want Bruce involved. Jason swore he'd always come find me." You shrug casually. "So, you track me and then we know where he is. And then maybe we tell Dick where they're hiding out. See, everyone wins. If you're with me and we both get kidnapped then Crane has all three of us and Dick and Kory won't know where to go. I need someone here, just in case." You explain quickly.

It's not a lie, it's true. You've put some thought into the vigilante life after all of this is sorted out, hoping things go back to some form of normal. It's dangerous to be out there as a team and alone. It's dangerous both ways and it's dangerous to have people know but, you think it might be worse for you to be alone out there and no one know where you are or what you're doing. Having someone be eyes and ears behind a screen seems like it might be helpful, especially if something goes wrong.

"Right, okay, yeah." Gar nods and this isn't really what he meant by helping but you have a point. At least this way, if something happens, it's not the three of you stuck in a bad situation with no one knowing where you are. At least they'll know where to find you and Jason. "You're gonna call if things start looking bad, right?" Gar asks as you remain silent, moving your eyes from the left to the right before landing back on Gar. "Dr. Light? Deathstroke?" Gar presses, narrowing his eyes slightly.

"Fine." You nod your head quickly. "If it starts looking like it might go even a little south, I'll call you. But, I don't even know if I'll be able to find him."

"What're you gonna do?"

"I know a few people I can grab, try to get some intell on where Red Hood and Crane would go. Someone knows and they'll start talking."

Gar lets out a sigh, deciding it's best he doesn't know what you're going to do to them. Maybe him staying back is a good idea if you think that's the only way to find him. If anyone is gonna know how to work around Gothamites, it'll be you.

"They in Batcave?" You ask as you head for the door.

"Yeah."

"Great." You suck in a breath. "Okay, I'm going to get my suit and find him. If he asks, you can tell Dick you're helping but try not to show him, please. He'll come after me and probably fuck it up. If Crane has him hostage, I can get through to Jason."

"Are you going to bring him back?" Gar asks, a bit of hope in his eyes.

"Not if he doesn't ask." You shake your head. "If Crane had to duct tape him to a chair that means Jason isn't siding with him as much anymore. While I feel guilty and I hate myself for last night," You shake your head. "Maybe that does have something to do with it." You start the walk to the Batcave. "He has to make the decision on his own. As much as it fucking sucks." You scoff. "Okay, I'll be back later. Every hour." You nod once before you dart behind the grandfather clock.

You walk right over to the display with your suit, ripping the case open as you grab Dick's and Kory's attention. If they want to work this alone and not save him, fine. But that's not you and they're not stopping you.

"Where are you going?" Kory asks.

You spin around and you shrug your shoulders sadly. "To save Jason." You answer simply.

"Are you sure that's a good idea?" Kory asks and they really should have known Gar was going to tell you immediately.

"You're staying here. We don't--"

"I don't care." You roll your eyes as you cut Dick off. "Do you really want to tell me to just...let Crane kidnap him? Me? Of all people?" You ask.

"It could be a trap." Dick argues and he's also tired of this back and forth. He's never met anyone so hardheaded. Why can't you just listen? Just once?

"Yeah, maybe." You shrug softly. "And that's a risk I am willing to take because I give a fuck about him." You snip right back. It almost feels like you're arguing with your parents.

"You could get hurt or worse." Kory states. "For all we know, this is what Crane and Jason want."

"It's not safe." Dick says. "We can't risk it. You don't know what you'll be walking into."

"I don't fucking care if I get hurt!" Your voice cracks with frustration. "That's part of the job! Getting hurt to keep people, innocent strangers safe. You think I'm not gonna risk getting a little hurt to save someone I actually care about? I love him anyway and I'm going to save him." You let out a bitter scoff. "You know, Tim said something to me last night. I didn't tell him shit, don't worry. But, he said that I'm supposed to be a hero." You shake your head. "And he's fucking right, ya know? It's just complicated but look at you guys. We're supposed to be heroes! And you're all just gonna...sit back? Let whatever happens, happen? No, fuck that. I did that last time and we see what fucking happened."

"We aren't sitting back." Dick says sternly. "We've been trying to bring home this whole time but he clearly, doesn't want that. He dug his hole and he has to deal with it. He made his choice."

"I'm not going back and forth about it anymore. Just...what is it? I mean, Deathstroke, was it just that you felt you had our blood on your hands? So, you were obligated to do something? And now that Jason's kidnapping doesn't have shit to do with you, your hands are clean? Is that what this is? Why not try to fucking save him?! You know Crane. Crane could have snapped and then...what? That's just it. One less body to deal with."

"Hey!" Kory scolds. "You know that is not what this is. We all have given Jason a fair chance but Dick's right he made his choice. He knows how bad Crane can be."

"That doesn't make it okay." You say quietly. "I made a promise to him and I broke one of those. I'm not breaking another one tonight. He is not Robin anymore so if Crane wants to go after him, he gets to deal with me and if you have such a fucking problem with that, I guess you can try to stop me but I'm going." You turn back around, grabbing your suit before you slam the case closed. "I was wrong about what I said about trying. Sometimes, it isn't enough. But, at least I'm fucking trying. Unlike you guys."

Dick lets out an exasperated sigh. "You don't know when to quit do you?"

You shake your head, the corner of your mouth perking up. "Not when it comes to people I happen to like." You spin around, suit in hand and you head off to change and leave.

"You know, she handled that well actually." Kory says softly. "All things considered."

"Yeah." Dick scoffs. "That's the worrying part."

You head off on the bike once you're suited up. You get to Crime Alley figuring that might be your best bet for any type of answer. You use your phone to look into the men you killed last night and see what their ties could be to Red Hood and Scarecrow. Their files don't have too much but they are a few notes about people the three of them used to run with so you figure you can start there. Someone knows where Red Hood and Scarecrow would be. This is Gotham and they're in the drug trade.

You track one of the men down, following him carefully from the rooftops and waiting for the right moment to confront him. The whole rooftop thing might have actually been a good idea, you will give Bruce that one. You wait until an alley with almost no lighting comes up. So, you take your opportunity to get down from the rooftops and beat him to the alley. Just as he approaches, you yank him into the alleyway, slamming him against the wet brick as hard as you can.

"Where is Red Hood?" You seethe, your teeth grinding under your mask,

The man looks down at you as your arm is pressed against his throat. "How the fuck would I know?"

You pull back just enough to shove him against the wall, this time his head bangs against the wet bricks. "Bullshit. You know where he's hiding out. Him and Scarecrow, fucking spill."

"Fuck you." He spits.

You do not have time for this. You're done arguing and going back and forth with people. All he has to do is give up a name or a place. It's not that hard. So, you pull out a knife and hold it right to his jugular.

"Do you wanna end up like your friends? It's all pretty easy to make happen." You press the tip of the knife into his skin, just enough to break skin and blood starts leaking down his neck.

His eyes widen, filled with panic. "I don't know!"

"Bullshit!" You yell back, doing your best to refrain from pressing the knife further into his neck. "Red Hood was able to get your friends which means there has to be some sort of connection. Tell me where he is."

"I don't know!" The man's voice is panicked. "Jeremiah! Word is he has an in with Red Hood and Scarecrow for whatever they're cooking."

"And where the fuck would he be?" You almost mock him. A name is fine but come on.

"Robinson Park!" He yells back, the panic leaking from his pores. "He's been dealing there."

"Thank you." You pat the man's cheek. "Was that so fucking hard?" You scoff, dropping the man. "Seriously, get your shit together and do something more productive." You roll your eyes as you shoot the grappling hook to the rooftop, leaving the man alone in the alley.

You reach Robinson Park and give Gar a quick text to let him know everything is fine. Then, you make your way inside of the park to look for this Jeremiah guy. You were able to figure out what he looks like thanks to him and the guy you just grabbed having been busted for dealing just a few months ago.

It doesn't take you too long to find him near a bridge. That's where you sneak up behind him and grab him, slamming him against the cement just as you did with the previous guy. You're hoping he'll be willing to spill a little quick but you're also betting you're not going to get that lucky tonight.

"Red Hood. Where is he?" You ask with fire in your words.

Jeremiah laughs. "You think I'm gonna tell you? You're a fucking bat--"

You yank your fist back and punch him in the face. He spits blood out by your boots, looking back at you with fury. "I am not a fucking bat." You say through gritted teeth. "I will burn you alive limb by fucking limb until you spill where Red Hood is."

"Yeah? And uh, what makes you think I even know?" He gives you this grin that makes you want to scream.

"Word is you have an in for the drug him and Scarecrow are putting on the streets. I assume it was a test run last night. Unless, you're full of shit just trying to get some weird ass respect." You quip, tilting your head to the right.

"I'm not telling you shit." He scoffs.

"You know, Red Hood decapitated six men, right? Of some of Gotham's most notorious families in the business. Yeah, I can be worse. And I will start with you." You tug your glove off with your other hand, still keeping pressure on his neck. You show the neon green so bright it illuminates your face. Jeremiah watches you before you touch a finger to his face, he lets out a horrendous scream, echoing through the tunnel under the bridge. "Every limb but I won't kill you. I'll let infection set in and that can kill you. Tell me where the fuck he is!"

Jeremiah lets out a sigh, gritting his teeth. "There's that old ice cream factory. They were cooking there."

"They're not there. Titans showed up tonight. Where else would they go?"

"Aren't you a fucking Titan?" He sneers.

"Does it really seem like I'm a Titan?" You narrow your eyes at him.

"There's the old Wellington pump station. Heard they had a hookup there." Jeremiah says reluctantly. "I don't fucking know anything else."

"Thank you." You let go of him as he falls to the ground. "You know, you should also get your shit together. I know you deal to kids. Stop or I will actually kill you. Leave kids the out of it." You roll your eyes, earning yourself a confused look as you walk out of the tunnel.

Once you get back to your bike, you head right to the pump station. The drive feels like it takes an eternity when it only takes twenty minutes. You're growing more anxious as more time goes by. You don't know how long Crane has had him tied up for or what he's doing to even keep Jason tied up. Jason should be able to get out of duct tape. So, you worry as every minute passes by.

The closer you get to the building, the more you start to remember what it was like the night he died. The drive and how it was freezing but you didn't even notice because you were so panicked. You were going to save him but you were too late. Every second from the phone call to Molly until you passed out is embedded into the deepest parts of your mind, tattooed and stitched as cruel reminders of the world you live in sometimes. You can't forget but you're trying to save Jason again and it's like you're thrown back into that night all over again.

It can't end like that again.

It can't.

When you get to the pump station, you park far off in the old parking lot before making your way to the back of the building. You use your grappling hook to get to the roof where you find a skylight looking into the building. That's when you spot Jason, now tied to a chair. Crane is walking around, throwing his hands around dramatically but there seems to be a pep in his step, as if he's happy or excited about something. You roll your eyes. He's so fucking insane.

A part of you does question if this is a trap. Jason is faster and stronger than Crane. Jason should have been able to escape. He has all of the training and he can easily take Crane. It doesn't even look like Crane is armed but you know Jason is. It doesn't make a lot of sense but you're watching carefully and Jason doesn't even seem to be partaking in whatever nonsense Crane is on about. So, you brush the thought of it being a trap away and think maybe Crane drugged him. That would explain everything. Trap or not, you're getting into this building and you're grabbing Jason.

You try to look at everything surrounding them and the drum barrels on the catwalk. All you need to do is distract Crane long enough to get Jason free. That's the point. It's not so much a rescue mission as it is just getting him free. If you can get him free and he can walk, he can escape Crane if it comes to that. Then, you spot an alarm sitting far off on the back wall and you have an idea.

"Hey, you at the Batcomputer?" You whisper into the phone.

"Uh...yeah, yeah, why? What's up?" Gar wheels himself closer to the keyboard, looking at the screens.

"Crane has Jason tied up. I'm at a pump station but I can see an alarm of some sort, not a fire alarm. Is there any way to like...trigger it from where you are?" You ask.

"I can try, hold on." Gar says as he starts typing away.

"Or trigger anything to distract Crane so I can grab Jason."

"How long do you need?"

"Three minutes, tops." You keep watch as Jason's head nods softly as if he's trying to stay awake and failing miserably.

"Okay, yeah, there's an alarm system that's still active in the building. I can set it off but as soon as Crane disables it, that'll be it. So, you have to be quick." Gar explains, getting into the building's security system.

"Okay, yeah. Quick, got it." You nod your head. "Ready when you are."

"Hang up and I'll trigger it. Text me when you get somewhere safe."

"Of course, thank you." You say softly before you hang up.

You grab a knife from your belt and start working on the lock to the skylight. Luckily, this was a part of Jason's training. Lock-picking. Of course it was. As soon as you have the lock picked and the window ready to be opened, you hear the blaring of an alarm.

Jason and Crane both jump, looking around as the noise echoes and bounces off of the walls. Crane looks to grow more and more annoyed before he storms off and that's when you make your move. You open the window, using the grappling hook to lower yourself down as quickly as possible.

Once your feet touch solid ground, you yank the hook loose and run to Jason, immediately bending down to be face-to-face with him. His pupils are blown and he's barely awake but his eyes widen just a little, trying to make you out. It's blurry but he swears it's you. That can't be right. Why the hell would you come?

You swear you find yourself hating Crane more and more by the second. You shake your head and grab a knife, cutting Jason's hands free before you come to his face again.

"Jay? Can you walk?" You ask quietly, just loud enough so he can hear you above the alarm. But all Jason does is stare at you and he just can't believe you're really in front of him right now. Maybe he's hallucinating. "Jay?" You place your hands on his cheeks. "Hey, can you walk?"

It's you. You came.

Jason nods weakly and he thinks he might burst at the seams. He thought he was alone.

"Come on." You help him up.

Jason's arm rests over your shoulders as the two of you head to the exit, opposite the way Crane went. Jason's footing is a little unsteady but he tries his best while you keep him stable, one arm wrapped around him and the other holding his arm around your shoulders.

The entire walk to your bike has Jason's head spinning, both from the high and the confusion of you showing up in the first place. You broke up with him and you gave up on him. His head might be foggy and he might be out of it right now, but he knows that happened. And yet you're here anyway. Not Dick or Kory or Gar. It's you who showed up. Maybe you shouldn't have but you did. And even in this state, Jason thinks maybe it was still a hard decision, given what happened last night...and the last time you found him. But, you showed up anyway and he does not deserve that.

Every part of you wants to explode like a volcano. It wasn't fucking a trap. Crane drugged him and tied him up so he couldn't fucking leave. That's what happened. Dick and Kory, they were wrong. They were fine letting Jason suffer over a what if situation. You just grabbed him without any damn problems. All you needed was a little help from Gar. it was fine. It went fine but who knows what Crane's plan for the rest of the night was. This could have gone so much worse for him and Dick and Kory just didn't care. They didn't care enough to try.

And then there's Crane. It just drives you insane. Jason got himself wrapped up in this but he doesn't deserve to be drugged and held hostage. You swear people in general don't really don't deserve it. But, now it's happened to Jason and you think maybe you shouldn't leave him again. Every part of you doesn't want to leave him again.

"Can you hold on?" You ask as you reach your bike.

"Uh..." Jason sucks in a breath before he nods. "Yeah, got it." He mutters, his words slurring together slightly.

"Where do you wanna go?" You ask, biting down your own hope that he'll say the manor.

Jason's heart rate spikes for a quick second with the question and for that split second, he almost spits out manor. But, that second is just that, a second. He can't go back. Not like this. Not now. If they want to turn him in, he can't run or defend himself and he's not putting you in that position anymore. So, he tells you another hideout he has and you just nod, all hopes of bringing him back fading away.

"I'll go slow." You say softly as you get on the bike first, Jason wobbly getting on behind you.

You bend uncomfortably around, popping the spare helmet on his head. You slide the face shield down before turning back around and grabbing his arms to wrap around you. Once your own helmet is on, you take off, leaving the pump station in the rearview mirrors.

When you reach the hideout, you help Jason inside and upstairs with his directions. You reach the room that contains a mattress, an old broken dresser, and a few lamps scattered about the floor. You help Jason over to the bed and help him to sit down.

Jason sits with his knees bent, feet planted on the floor and his eyes locked on you. He just can't believe this is real. He still thinks he might be hallucinating or maybe he's just having a really vivid dream.

"Are you okay?" You ask as you kneel in front of him, resting your hands on his knees but Jason's head sways. "Jay?"

Everything hurts and it's spinning. And his chest hurts, the lump in his throat hurts. Every piece of his body is aching and burning and heavy, exhausted. But, you're here, right in front of him. You broke up with him last night and you gave up but you're right in front of him and he is so thankful. Why are you here? He doesn't deserve it.

Jason reaches forward, tugging your mask off of your face as if just to make sure it's you. "You came." His brows pull together as if he's in pain.

Your heart breaks at the surprise and tenderness of his voice. He really thought you wouldn't? You know what you said but...does he think it's that easy?

"I'll always come to save you." You whisper, your eyes watering as they scan over his face.

Jason can feel his bottom lip start to quiver. He really fucked it all up and he's high and it's the worst high of his life. It all sucks and you're here and he doesn't know why. He wants to take it all back. He wants to turn back time and take everything back. He wants to go back to that day in your room when you were the one that told him loving him is the easiest thing you'd ever done because he knows that isn't true anymore. And it is breaking him.

"But you..." Jason chokes on his own words. "You said you were fucking done and--"

"Doesn't matter." You shake your head, cutting him off. You search his face until his eyes meet yours. Jason thinks you've never looked sadder. "If someone's going to hurt you or kidnap you, they're gonna have to deal with me." Your voice is candid but there's a weight of heartbreak etched in every syllable.

He doesn't deserve it and Crane betrayed him and hurt him. Another person he trusted hurt him and yeah, he went behind Crane's back first but did he deserve this? And you're the one still offering him kindness through everything. He could have gotten you killed, twice, and you're sitting in front of him with sad but kind eyes and Jason hates who he's becoming.

Jason sucks in a shaky breath and there's a part of him that can't do it anymore. He can't deal with the heaviness or the way his chest feels like it's going to collapse in on itself. He can't deal with the spinning or the numbness or any of it. His head bows forward slowly until his forehead lands on your shoulder. Tears start to fall from his eyes and everything around him is fucked up and a mess and it's all his fault. Why did he do this? What has he become? Was he better off dead?

Maybe he was better off dead.

Your teeth grit together as you hear him sniffle and feel him shake. Hitting rock bottom shouldn't be like this because it's him. If only he knew that he always deserved better and believed it. Maybe if he was treated better from the beginning. Maybe if trying would have just been enough the first time around.

"Jay." You whisper, hearing a soft cry come from Jason's throat. "It's okay." You say softly, moving away just enough to get him to pick his head up. You shake your head at him, brows knitted together. "It's okay." You say again but this time you move closer and pull him into a hug and that's when Jason finally breaks entirely.

He's hurt so many people. And for what? He can feel the itch of withdrawal and the migraine kicking in. He wants to peel his skin off of his bones but his chest hurts and he doesn't think he can breathe. He sucks in a breath but all that comes from it is a cough and a cry. He wraps his arms around you and he feels you hug him tighter. Why are you doing this? He doesn't deserve it. Why did you even save him? Maybe he shouldn't be saved. Maybe Joker had it right the first time. Hank would be alive. Tim's dad would be okay. You wouldn't be mixed up in this. Dick wouldn't have been shot. Maybe it would be better if he had just stayed dead.

It feels that way anyway.

It's like a pull he can feel in the marrow of his bones, The betrayal to fate. He has no business being alive and he can feel it. Maybe that's how it should be. He was never very good at being good anyway and if he's no good, what's the point? He's more fucked up than he ever was before. Why does he bother trying? He should just be alone, it's what he deserves.

But, there's this voice in the back of his head that says maybe it's just the high this time. Whatever Crane has him on maybe it's messing with his head, maybe it's that and the betrayal of the night. Maybe it's the withdrawal. Maybe it's just a mix of everything.

So, he pulls away and your hands come to his face and it's like an instinct. There's no effort in you showing up and caring about him because you just do. And it's right now with your thumbs, rubbing the warm tears away that Jason starts to wonder if this is unconditional. There were always conditions to people loving him and he thought maybe yours was just that he was three for you, or maybe Crane was right about you using him. Maybe it was just that you felt obligated to him because of Deathstroke. But, he almost got you killed and you fought and he killed Hank and you're sitting in front of him, helping him as if it is the easiest thing you've ever done. You just do it and maybe that's unconditional, even when someone says they give up.

Jason's breath is shallow and ragged and he just can't breathe. He wants to remember what it feels like to breathe again. To breathe effortlessly.

"Hard to breathe." Jason mutters, tears slowly falling down his cheeks.

You nod your head before you rest your forehead against his. Your eyes close and you just sit like that. Jason's eyes close a few seconds later and he always wonders how you know what to do and say. No one ever did. Not like this. But, you do this and the act of you being there, in this moment, without even saying a word, gets Jason to suck in a full breath for the first time tonight. His tears start to slow down and the brutal thoughts about himself start to grow quiet. The only sound he can hear is his own breathing and the cars passing outside. He never thought silence could be so comforting.

You aren't sure if this night changes anything. Maybe he'll go right back to Crane but maybe he won't. Maybe tonight and last night stacked on top of each other is enough to get Jason back on solid ground. Maybe he's tired of drowning. You're hoping he's tired of it. And even if not, for tonight, you're going to let yourself believe he is. Because he was the one kidnapped and held hostage and betrayed. He was the one left alone and the only people willing to help him were you and Gar. Maybe letting him hit rock bottom was a good enough idea, but maybe you aren't willing to follow through with it. Not if it leads him here. There has to be another way.

There is always another way.

You pull away once Jason's breathing seems to be back to normal. "You okay?" You whisper, Jason seeing your own eyes turning a light shade of pink.

"I'm so fucking sorry." Jason coughs out. "For fucking everything."

"I know." You nod your head quickly, brows pulling together.

"No," Jason spits and he hates how his mouth feels like he's tried to swallow thirty cotton balls. "You don't fucking deserve it. None of you do. I'm so sorry." Jason's voice is pleading and begging and you wish you could take out of your own heart and replace it with his just to ease some of his pain.

"Jay, you're high. We can talk about it later, okay?" You nod your head. "Come on, let's get you to bed, okay? You gotta sleep it off. I don't know what he gave you." Your hands slide off of his face and back to his knees.

You would love to discuss this now but you're not sure how much of this he'll even remember when the high wears off. If you're going to talk, you want him to be sober. This isn't actually his fault this time but you still want him to be sober.

Jason nods his head, feeling more defeated than he already was. He's thinking you really mean it. You really are done and you really are giving up on him. You were just there so Crane didn't go too far and kill him. And he wants to take it all back.

"Hey, I promise, okay?" You nod your head softly, seeing the deflated look on his face. "We can talk tomorrow if you still want to, promise." You offer a subtle but reassuring smile and that seems to do the trick.

Jason nods softly again and accepts it. He's exhausted anyway and maybe him spuing apology after apology like this isn't going to get either of you anymore. Maybe you're right. He just hopes you mean it.

"Want help?" You ask.

Jason shakes his head, tugging his jacket off sloppily before telling you his spare clothes are in the broken dresser in the corner. You grab him a pair of sweatpants and a hoodie from the drawer before moving back over to him. Jason struggles more and more trying to get the hoodie off, his limbs failing him as he grows defeated and exhausted. The breaking really used up all of his remaining energy.

"Lemme help." You rest the clothes beside him before you tug the hoodie off gently.

You help him take the armor off next, leaving him in a black tank top. And that's when you see two scars peaking out of the very edges of the tank top on his chest. Your heart plummets remembering exactly what he looked like after the autopsy. His face was mangled and pale, blood long cleaned off of his body and the stitches trailing from his chest down his abdomen. You wonder why those didn't heal but the marks on his face did. But, your heart breaks because now he's permanently marked with what happened to him. He'll never be able to forget it anyway, but now he has a physical reminder and that's just not fair. At least he can probably dye his hair if he wants but there's nothing to do about the scars.

Why did it have to happen to him?

You glance to his face, his eyes drooping and then you look at the white streak of hair. Jason said he thinks it's lame and you wonder what he thinks of the scars. You think he probably hates those, too. Another reminder. And you want to say something but what the hell are you supposed to say? Yeah, sorry Bruce had an autopsy performed? Didn't think you'd come back from the dead? That's ridiculous. But, you also can feel his stare falling back on you and he starts to shift. Not saying anything, that's always an option with him. You don't have to.

So, you don't. Instead, you just trace over them because that's what you always do to his scars. And Jason thinks he might cry again. He hates those fucking scars. The white streak he can deal with, but those scars? Why did Bruce even have it done? Was it not fucking obvious what the cause of death was? He was brutally murdered by a crowbar to the face, something he'll never forget, and now he has fucking autopsy scars. Those are a little hard to explain. At least if he had crowbar scars, they could be explained by a mugging. The white streak is just a choice. Autopsy scars? There's no normal explanation for those. But, then you run your thumbs over the scars anyway as if they're any other scar and Jason wants to combust. He thinks he might burst into flames right under your fingertips.

You offer a small but kind smile before you help him take his boots off. And something about him not refusing your help this time is kind of reassuring for once. Usually, Jason would be telling you he can do it himself and he's fine but now he's just quiet. A part of that is concerning but him letting you help without protest is nice and maybe he's coming around. Maybe he is off the drug.

Once Jason is out of his Red Hood gear, you help him get the other hoodie and pants on before Jason finally lays down. His head spins but his back starts to cramp in just the right way that starts to feel good. And all he wants to do is sleep this whole thing off.

You offer him a sad smile, resting your hand on his cheek. "Okay, I'm gonna head out. Call Dick if you change your mind and you wanna come home." You whisper before you go to stand up.

You don't really intend to leave. You figure you'll just go downstairs until he wakes up and then you can go from there. You don't want to overstep by staying here with him if he's not going to ask. At the end of the day, he's out of it and it's not really your place right now. Even if the very thought of leaving him alone makes you want to burst into tears.

Jason doesn't even think before he grabs your hand as you pull it away from his cheek. You haven't even gotten up. Your other hand is on your knee to help yourself up and you're looking at Jason, one brow raised and waiting. He doesn't want to be alone. Not this time. Just for tonight, he can't be alone.

"Can you stay...please?" Jason lets go of your hand, eyes looking up you, sad and pitiful.

It's like a knife is shoved through your ribs and right into your heart. How the hell could you ever say no to that? Jason Todd rarely asks people to stay and you already left him once. You're not doing it again. There will be another way because this? This isn't it. This is torture for him and for you and there is another way. You're not leaving him alone so you nod.

"Okay." You nod your head and Jason moves over. You sit down, moving the pillow up against the wall so you can lean against the wall comfortably. "You can lay down." You say softly, gesturing to your lap. "I can play with your hair until you fall asleep."

Jason eyes up you, barely keeping his eyes open but there's a warmth that consumes his chest this time. "Thanks for everything." He has no idea how he'll ever be able to repay you. But, he is so thankful you're here and that he's not alone. 

"You and me." You say right back as Jason lays his head down in your lap.

Tears prick his eyes as they close because it's still you and him. Somehow, against all odds, it's the two you. He does not deserve it but he's thankful and he loves you. His head is pounding and throbbing, dizzy and foggy but he finds himself thinking maybe he's done with Crane. After everything tonight and having you still show up, maybe you're right. You've tried to save him this whole time but all he's done is push. You stayed for him, at the very least, maybe he can try to stay for you and then himself. Even if it's too late to salvage anything between you.

Your fingers tangle through the white streak of hair, lightly rubbing his scalp and you think this feels normal. Some part of this feels normal and maybe you're starting to hope it can go back to normal if he comes back to the manor. Maybe he can forgive you. You forgive him. You forgave him the second you saw the look of withdrawal on his face. You forgave him for everything else the second your own high wore off. Maybe if he calls Dick, if he's really off of the drug, maybe it can go to normal and maybe Molly's right. Maybe you can find a way back.

You plead for you and Jason to be able to find your way back.

It doesn't take long for the exhaustion to take over and send Jason into a deep sleep. You can always tell when he really falls asleep because his leg twitches and then his entire body relaxes as if it's the only time he can really breathe. It's as if being awake is just too hard sometimes so when sleep does take over, his entire body just collapses on itself. You desperately wish it weren't so hard for him. It's not really your job anymore, but if there were a way to make it easier for him, you'd do it in a heartbeat.

"Hey." You whisper into the phone, your hand still running through Jason's hair.

"Is everything okay?" Gar asks quickly.

"We've been worried." Kory adds in and you figure you're on speaker and you wonder when Gar decided to loop them in.

"Yeah, everything's fine. Crane drugged him. He's asleep now." You watch the white fall over your fingers and then through them. His arm is draped lazily over your legs but keeping you in place and you wonder if it still feels safe like this for him. It does for you.

"He's asleep?" Dick questions and you think there might even be a softness to his voice.

"Yes." You answer back. "Whatever Crane drugged him with was enough to subdue him and now he's tired. So, he's asleep."

"Is that what he told you?" Dick asks and you just roll your eyes.

"No, but I could tell given he was tied to a chair and I had to help him walk. He was drugged." You mutter sternly, trying to keep your voice down.

"Is he okay?" Kory asks and you can hear the worry in her voice.

You keep your eyes on him and it's the same answer. It's always the same answer and you really, really hope one day it'll change.

"No." You answer. "He's not. But I got him."

Gar can hear the bitterness mixing with heartbreak in your tone. He's relieved you were able to get Jason and setting off the alarms works. He's a little surprised it worked since the three of you together don't seem to have the best of luck. But, you have Jason now and he knows you fought with Dick and Kory before leaving, about them not helping. Gar isn't sure you're going to be so willing to come back, especially if you're getting through to Jason.

"You're not coming back, are you?" Gar asks.

You swallow thickly. "No, I gotta stay. I can't leave him like this. But, I'll be back tomorrow."

"Did he tell you anything before he passed out?" Dick asks.

"He said he was really sorry but he, uh, he was really upset and drugged so I said we'd talk later. Then, he asked if I could stay. Um...I think maybe, he'll come around when he wakes up so if he calls you, Dick, you better answer and let him come home, okay?" Your words should be stern but instead, they're desperate and aching.

"Okay." Dick agrees simply, not willing to go back and forth this time. "Did you kill anyone tonight?"

"No, " You scoff. "I let them off with a warning for helping me."

Dick gains a soft smile. He didn't want you to go. He was really concerned for your safety, for all of the Titans' safety. But, you didn't kill anyone and you were right about Jason. You got him free and brought him somewhere safe, with just a little help from Gar. You had a plan of some sort and a backup just in case it was a trap. Dick hopes Jason realizes one day how lucky he is to have someone who's willing to learn from past mistakes and forgive and forget so easily. Not many people are willing to do that. And Dick is proud.

"Good work." Dick says. "Both of you." You can't see it but he offers Gar a simple nod.

You're still a little mad but it is nice to hear you did good for once. Bruce wasn't very much of a positive reinforcement kind of person. Jason always said you were doing a good job but it was different and that's when you finally get it.

Molly and Gar were right. It was never about you being enough for him because it's different. Your validation is important but you weren't the one who gave him the suit. You weren't the one that took him in. Jason always knew you were doing good and you're good at being a vigilante but hearing it from Dick, means something different.

It's like you expect Jason to think you're good because he loves you and that's the thing. Of course, you always believed in him because you love him. That was never the issue. Dick's been doing this for over ten years. Bruce even longer. And Dick was the one who said you could be a Titan. It was Dick that introduced you to it. Like Bruce introducing Jason to it. It's different hearing it from the person who believed in you. It never had anything to do with you.

"Thank you." You say softly, a soft smile on your lips. "I'm gonna go. Thanks for letting me do this and not following me." You say. "I'll be back tomorrow." You sigh before you hang up, resting your phone on the floor beside the mattress before you rest your head against the wall, closing your eyes. 

prev. chapter | next chapter

series masterlist | masterlist | tag list

Tag list: @fairyofshampoo // @italiana-20 // @jasontoddsmentaldisorders // @purplerose291 // @lovelessamai  // @makaelaseresin // @lenidaslenchen // @mayfieldss  // @ghostkingblake // @im-done-with-this-im-out // @velvetskies // @lilylovelyxo // @cryinghotmess // @yesimwriting // @vivian-555 // @stainedstardom // @baebeepeach // @legend-o-zelda // @harleycao // @somehow-lovable-trash  // @xx-all-purpose-nerd-xx // @deyja-the-duck // @jasontoddslover //  @captainmarvels-blog // @totallynotkaibiased // @scarlovesyou // @whydoyoucare866 // @littlemeowmeow1000 // @ginger24880 // @septixtrash // @kplatzman // @urmomsgayforme5 // @killxz

[artiststarme]

Don't Dream It's Over

Back at it again with the angst! I hope you guys like it and please leave your thoughts in the comments. (FYI Kleenex are recommended).

~*~*~*~

Steve had given a lot of thought into how he’d die. He had a lot of time alone that he could put towards thinking about the worst outcomes and circumstances. Usually, he would envision passing away in the empty house devoid of love and affections. He would imagine his house filling with dangerous levels of carbon monoxide that would take him out in his sleep. Or maybe a passerby convict would choose to rob his house and murder him, smother him in his sleep or something. His mind would whir over the plentiful possibilities that would result in a world with him no longer in it. 

On the bad days, his thoughts would get a little darker. He’d think about stepping off the quarry or getting too close to the edge and falling to his death. He’d think about drinking too much to experience alcohol poisoning and overdosing on pain medication. Sometimes, he would stare into the chlorinated water of the pool and consider sticking his head in the water until water filled his lungs. Morbidly, he wondered how long it would take for anyone to find him afterwards. With friends who didn’t care about him and parents that never came home, he wouldn’t be surprised if no one found him at all. 

After he found out about the Upside Down, he could only picture himself dying to save the kids. He’d get chomped on by a demogorgon or ripped apart by demo dogs while they ran away in the other direction. He would do anything to protect those brats, especially at risk of losing his own life. 

Every year he got closer to his thoughts becoming reality. Billy, the Russians, the demobats, with every fight he got closer to the end. It was like the entire universe was pitted against him, like he was just created to be a means to an end. As long as the kids survived though, he was fine with it. 

He hadn’t considered that he would die for a stranger. That he would put his life on the line in an effort to save someone other than the kids. But when he jumped in front of Eddie in the whirlwind of bats, he couldn’t bring himself to regret it. He could feel Eddie fighting at his back but Steve continued to use himself as a human shield against the barrage of mutated creatures.

He wouldn’t change the skin that the bats were sinking their teeth into, wouldn’t exchange Eddie’s neck for his when the tail wrapped around the marks on his throat and started to suffocate him once again. Even as he screamed hoarsely when the bats dug further into the wounds in his sides, he wouldn’t change his decision to give his life for Eddie’s. 

Steve Harrington had thought a lot about his death throughout his life. He could only ever dream that he would go out in a blaze of glory, recognized and cherished by his friends. As he saw Eddie’s crying face above his and heard Dustin’s screams of desperation, he knew that his dreams had come true. His life was ending but at least it meant something, at least people noticed and would remember him. 

As his eyes slipped shut and the sounds faded from around him, he felt a flash of regret for thinking so much about his death. It would’ve been nice to focus on his life while he still had it. 

(He appreciates his life a lot more once he wakes up to realize he still has it… and a lot of explaining to do to his friends.)

Permanent Tag List: @doubleb11 @nburkhardt @zerokrox-blog @newtstabber @i-less-than-three-you @carlyv @pyrohonk @straight4joekeery @trippypancakes @conversesweetheart @estrellami-1 @suddenlyinlove @yikes-a-bee @swimmingbirdrunningrock @perseus-notjackson @anaibis @merricatty @maya-custodios-dionach @grtwdsmwhr @manda-panda-monium @lumoschild @goodolefashionedloverboi @mentallyundone @awkwardgravity1 @anzelsilver @jestyzesty @gregre369 @mysticcrownshipper @disasterlia

If you would like to be added to my permanent tag list to be tagged in all of my works, let me know!

[waitingforlostsouls]

Carbon Monoxide Poisoning

You kill me softly Like carbon monoxide poisoning Put me to sleep forever To keep me from toiling In my unmentionable pain Unplug my machine As you let me down The softest confession Of compassion to be found Taking me out my misery Of being stuck loving you If you decide to give up I don't know what I'd do I'd probably swear to not love another Because it wouldn't be the same My heart's stopped beating And it's engraved with your name Put me down gently I beg you, make it quick So I can know you still loved me Underneath all your shit

[annakie]

Part One: I Do Not, In Fact, Have the Power

Part Two: Let’s Spend Lots of Money!

Part Three: All These Things That I’ve Done

Part Four: I Really Want to Stay At My House

A little interlude.

Part Five: Power Down

Part Six: You Will Leave Some Paint

-----

Fixing The House Part Seven (Sorta) - Let's go Backwards to go Forwards

In the summer of 2003, it felt like all of my friends were moving forward with their lives but me.

Two of my friends had gotten married a year or two earlier and were living a ways away but had rented a house.

Two more friends had just gotten married, and were buying a house.

Two more had just gotten into a serious relationship, and he decided to buy a house. She was moving in and paying rent. A year or so later they'd get married, too.

I wasn't in a relationship but was the oldest in the friend group and I was still renting a one bedroom apartment.

I got the bug in my ear that I should buy a house, too.

Once again, a very long post.

I just want to make it clear -- this is more of a flashback episode than updates on what's been going on. But it's important.

Those three couples all eventually had houses all in the same neighborhood. I couldn't afford their neighborhood. Honestly I couldn't afford a house at all but that was right during the time that banks were handing out mortgages like candy.

I shouldn't have been house shopping, but I did it anyway. Somehow my mom agreed to co-sign with me. She shouldn't have, tbh I was a bad bet credit wise at that time, but she did.

After losing out on a couple of bids, I finally found this house I really loved from the outside. The thing was, they weren't letting people inside for awhile, but the price was great and it looked great from the outside.

I put in an offer before seeing the inside (Pro Tip: never do this) with money I didn't really have, and despite many warning signs that I shouldn't be buying this house, I went ahead and did it anyway.

For several years, it was a really bad decision.

This house had been a rental for like 20 years before I bought it. It was severely neglected, but it had been fixed up just enough by the previous owners to hide the most glaring problems with it.

So much went wrong those first few years that I was more or less always in debt, lurching from problem to problem, borrowing money from my parents to keep the AC going and sewer flowing. Eventually my mom just paid to fix the sewer rather than call a plumber every month or two. (Eventually, I paid her back). Now I just have to call one out once a year or so.

And y'all, the house was ugly inside. Just really not updated almost at all since the 60's. Nobody gave a shit.

A few things had happened, three layers of wallpaper in the bathrooms and kitchen, and two layers of peel and stick tiles on the floor.

But most things were original to the house, or maybe updated in the mid to late 80's at the newest.

In 2004 when I'd done what I could with the place I started writing a walkthrough with pictures. It's not complete, I never did the bedrooms or master bath... I think I have pictures of those, I'll fill in later. But just scrolling through that and taking a look is super cringe for me and maybe entertaining for you. Also, hey, some of my friends and family are in there, too.

It will give you a decent idea of where I started, so later you can see where I am now and why doing this has been so damn important to me.

-----

I had a few bits of good luck, one of those couples mentioned above gave me their old washer and dryer which I still have and use to this day, I bought a dishwasher and fridge at the Sears Scratch and Dent store and the fridge is still running... for now. And my house had come with a home warranty that was paid for the year AND GOT USED HEAVILY. It saved my ass a time or two. And at least once I got ripped off by a new furnace install that was an utter disaster and almost killed me with carbon monoxide poisoning until I got them to send out a better repair guy who probably saved my life.

My parents would come once or twice a year and help me do all the repairs and improvements I could afford, and usually kick in some of their own money to help.

I had secondhand and salvaged furniture, much of it came from relatives who downsized or passed. I scoured yard sales for stuff to put in the house. I was paying off $4000ish on a $1700ish bedroom suite. I was at a job that was severely underpaying me and then everyone there got a paycut in 2007. I had no savings, maybe I'd scrape up $1000 which would get eaten by a new emergency every time I got it together.

It was bad. I was barely scraping by.

I made a post about it 10 years ago, and I still agree with basically everything I said in there. And that was when things had just started to turn around for me financially so that I wasn't lurching from paycheck to paycheck.

These are also linked there, but in 2008 my mom came into a little money and gave me a couple thousand and I was able to get all of the floors redone, and new countertops/sink in the kitchen.

These Flickr sets show even better just how bad it was, and how much it was improved. Except I made a huge mistake and got carpet in the bedrooms instead of Laminate everywhere. Something I'd start regretting days into the new floors and would keep regretting deeply for a few years. New Floors

New Countertops

With the countertops came a sink and faucet. Instead of laminate countertop from 1963 that had worn through and had holes in it, I had the cheapest countertop Home Depot had but it was new and looked decent. Instead of peel and stick linoleum I had the cheapest laminate flooring on the market but it was way better than the forever-stained brown carpet from the 80's.

That was the first time the house felt livable at least, finally.

In 2012 I got a better job, and finally started having some savings. I spent about $1500 one weekend with my parents upgrading the bathrooms. We bought $250 cabinets from Home Depot, two of the same ones, two of the same faucets, two of the same toilets.

We re-painted the bathrooms because I was thinking of selling the house at that point.

I was a big dummy and never finished painting the hall bath -- ever. It was still only like 90% done for nine years. I have no excuse for that. I just kinda stopped seeing it.

The very worst problems of the house were solved then, and my house was... okay.

The pictures in that Flickr set make it look almost nice in some places.

Except for a few things.

Like that when you took a shower in the master bath it had started having water seep through under the trim back into the bathroom.

I hadn't taken a shower in my master bath since about 2009.

And the hall bath, while it worked, the entire tub area was a nightmare. A horrorshow, honestly. I mean, it worked though. It was just really ugly, and a little grosser every year. But hey, as long as you kept the shower curtain closed, I only had to contend with it a few minutes a day.

----

In 2019, things had spiraled a bit in the house. I made a couple of posts about this, and how my friend Ange came to visit so I did a big cleanout of the house, and replaced the carpet with new laminate.

Here's the first and second post. Well it's the second post that links to the first post.

Here's the followup post.

It was a huge blessing that I did this, that Ange's visit got me to get my house in order. I put a lot of work into it, and in the end it paid off not only because I wasn't that ashamed of most of my house when Ange was here (I mean, still, the garage was a huge Problem, the bathtub had continued to deteriorate and still wasn't fully painted, and the dining room was still full of STUFF that needed to be sorted and put away when she got here) but it was enough.

Then, you know, 4 months later we all stayed home for a year or two and having a house that was improved and decluttered significantly went a long way towards being OK mentally that year.

----

Four years on, and some of the things that had been bad had gotten worse. For instance, the 1960's electric wiring. The house once again had more clutter than I was comfortable with, and the tub situation had gotten fucking dire. Also, the cheap, cheap laminate in most of the house from 2008 was really showing its wear... it had not only started separating at the point in the house that got the most traffic, but it had water damage there, and in other places, too.

Things that were bad, like the state of the windows, hadn't gotten better. The kids across the street shot BBs at my garage one day and one went through one of my garage windows (I didn't catch them in the act but I saw them with it a few weeks later. I love those kids, I'm friendly with the family, and at that point I was like IDGAF, tbh.) The patio roof was a few years from falling down from rot. And a whole host of other things I've posted here and some I haven't.

-----

Y'all, I'm aware that I'm damn lucky to own a house, especially in this market. I'm lucky that I was old enough to buy one before prices skyrocketed and I bought one cheap enough (even in 2003 prices) that I ended up not losing it when the housing market exploded in 2007 and I sailed out of that OK when so many others didn't.

I am aware I'm talking about something now that it's ridiculously out of reach for so many people, and that situation is just unbelievably shitty, and I'm sorry for that.

-----

At one point when all these renovations started, a friend of mine, one who is in a lot of the 2004 pictures and was one of the couples who bought their house in 2004 asked me if I would still buy a house knowing everything I went through the first few years, all of the things that have gone so very wrong with this place. All of the ugly things that didn't get fixed for 21 years, and how much money this place would cost me.

At the time, I told them I wish I could go back and tell myself do not buy THIS house. Get a house, just not THIS ONE.

But then, a few hours later I re-thought my decision. There's a few reasons why... even through it all, I'd get this house.

Here's the three most important reasons.

And about a half dozen other cats, and two dogs, that I've rescued and re-homed, or just ferals I've taken care of, because I lived in this house.

I wouldn't have Fry, or Pemily, and I wouldn't have had Patchy (or re-homed her babies) if I didn't live here, because they all came from my backyard. I don't think any of them would have survived, and Pemily probably would have never been born.

I also have good neighbors. We look after each other but also mostly mind our own damn business. We're not in a floodplain, taxes are relatively low. It's a decent place to be, even if all my friends who used to live near me moved farther away except one.

So, yeah.

After 21 years I'd saved enough and in the end when I found someone I liked and trusted and who didn't charge crazy amounts of money (HONESTLY I think Arturo didn't charge me ENOUGH) all of this spiraled from "Well we'd better get the electricity fixed so the house doesn't burn down" to... well... what it is now.

It's starting to wind down. We just need a couple more good days of work and it'll be over, for now.

Hopefully then I'll have time to finish this extremely long story and share all the pictures and all the stuff that's happened, more than I have, and show you what Arturo and I made from what you've seen in all the pictures in the links above, if you looked.

I'll be back as soon as I have the time. :)

[yetanothergreyjedi]

Left and Returned: Definitely Nothing Wrong

Danny Phantom x Supernatural Crossover

Part 2

Ao3

Chapter 3

After the angel heckling, Danny stuck around for the initial explanations. But as the explanations moved from recounting the events into... theological debate... yeah, Danny bailed on that. Look after winning fistfights with a certain amount of beings who claim to be gods, it's hard to be reasonable about that stuff. Danny's opinions on the afterlife are not super helpful to people who aren't living in ectoplasm rich environments.

For now he has a job to do. His ghost sense goes off before he opens the door. So he's not surprised to find the electronics are as fried as you'd expect after a being with the power to cause electrical surges spent a few months running around in it. At least his carbon monoxide detector stays silent.

Little fun fact: carbon monoxide makes spirits restless. Restless spirits cause electrical surges. Continued electrical surges, cause long term electrical fires. If you have the first problem, getting the other two problems becomes a lot more likely.

Less fun fact: Danny has never met a hunter who knows this.

How many hunters have died of carbon monoxide poisoning while they huddled in a salt circle to avoid the angry dead? How many HVAC guys have gotten possessed or murdered? How many people get lucky enough to have both problems sorted only to have something start on fire?

It's a whole thing. Yes, he gives this rant to every hunter he encounters. Hopefully, it sticks with at least some of them. Sam had said he'd do it. Bobby had pulled them over at the nearest hardware store and bought three detectors.

At least he knows it sunk in for someone.

But here the air is clean and normal and smells a little like ectoplasm. He's able to talk down the ghost without the thermos, but she has an electrical core, and he can't replace this much wiring in the time he has. He shows the owner, shuts down the power to the rooms that absolutely will start a fire and gives her some reputable local contacts. It's not ideal, it rarely is. But both the house's owner and the ghost know what they need to do to keep surviving and that's better than things were this morning.

He wishes it felt like victory.

He eats, takes a nap in the back of his van, and when he wakes up he's missed a dozen calls.

Someone is killing hunters. Of course there is.

He forwards the message to Jazz, Sam, Tucker, Valerie, and Wes, in case he's gotten mixed up in something new. They all check in. They all mention ghosts behaving... oddly. They agree they have it handled. Jazz asks about Sam.

Danny calls the Winchesters. They don't pick up.

 

---

Regret coils as Dean realizes who's ghost stands before him. He understands exactly why so many friends fell to this, stepping out of reach as she swings at his face. It's hard to do, she has every right to hit him, it's his fault she's dead.

That is why she is here. She's here to get her revenge, and he doesn't even know if the name he knows is her real one.

"It's okay, I'm not a demon."

"You're the girl the demon possessed."

"Meg Masters. Nice to finally talk to you when I'm not, you know, choking on my own blood. It's okay. Seriously, I'm just a college girl. Sorry — was. I was walking home one night and got jumped by all this smoke. Next thing you know, I'm a prisoner... Now, I was awake. I had to watch while she murdered people."

"I'm sorry."

"Oh, yeah? So sorry you had me thrown off a building?"

"Well, we thought— "

She shoves him, not with the strength of a girl puppeted by a demon, not with the strength of a ghost. She shoves him with the strength of a young woman who never lifts more than her college books. That's why he stumbles to the ground. "No, you didn't think! I kept waiting, praying! I was trapped in there screaming at you! 'Just help me, please!' You're supposed to help people, Dean. Why didn't you help me? "

"I'm sorry. "

"Stop saying you're sorry!" She approaches quick, ready to kick him. He's going to let her too, but the blow doesn't come.

She screams in fury as she's lifted by her waist. "Do you have any idea what it's like to be ridden for months by pure evil?! While your family has no idea what happened to you?!"

Danny holds her arms, stopping her from continuing her assault.

Meg continues, "It wasn't just me, I had a sister. A little sister.  You know how little siblings are, right? How they depend on you. She was never the Same after I disappeared. She just... she just got lost. And when my body was lying in the morgue beat-up and broken..."

She stops struggling, going limp as she tries to continue.

"Say what you need to say, we're listening." Danny tells her.

"She killed herself, she needed me and I wasn't there." Tears pool in her eyes. "All he was thinking about was his family, his revenge, his demons! 50 words of Latin a little sooner, and I—

She chokes on her sobs, "and I'd still be alive. My baby sister might still be alive."

Kid holds her up as she crys. Wet, gross, snotty crying, not like the pretty tears on TV. Kid whispers comforting things and lets her shout accusing things at Dean until she cries herself out.

"Do you remember your door?" He asks her when her breathing's evened.

"Yeah... it's blue, has some stickers..." she murmurs. And Danny gestures to the door across from them, which does not match Bobby's decor.

"Go home, Meg. Go rest." She reaches for the handle ugly brand on her hand turning green and vanishing as she turns it. As the door closes behind her, it's Bobby's door again.

"Dean!" Sam's voice echos from downstairs.

"Here!" Dean responds, grabbing the kid and pulling him after him as he goes to find his brother. "The symbol on her hand, you recognized it?"

"They have no right." Danny snarls.

"I'm gonna take that as a yes."

"What symbol?" Bobby asks, and he looks pretty okay for a guy who went missing when all the other people who went missing had their hearts ripped out. Sam scrambles to draw it for him.

The kid starts to pace the room. "They were at peace . This didn't call the restless dead, it woke the sleeping. They had. No. Right."

"The mark of the witness? " Bobby asks, "I'd have to double check."

"That's a name for it." The kid really sounds completely different when he's this mad.

"Follow me."

 

---

 

"...coated in salt, 100% ghost proof."

Dean watches the kid stumble across the threshold. He'd miss it if he wasn't looking for it. Yesterday, Danny had been wearing his pain on his face for all to see, it made it easier to look past it now. But Dean had seen his dad wear that expression, seen it on his brother, hell, he'd worn it himself a thousand times— Danny was in pain, but determined to push past it. He'd been fine a minute ago. Bobby's bunker was hurting him.

And Dean didn't say a word about it.

Kid had grabbed a ghost, picked her up and sent her home with nothing but himself and some words. Dean didn't know of anything that could do that. He did know that there was a chance Danny had saved him from getting his heart ripped out. Dean probably would've thought of something, but still. He wasn’t gonna kick the kid while he was down, definitely not while he was as determined to stop this as they were.

For what it's worth, he has no issue prepping rock salt for the shotguns as Bobby pages through the book, the silence is enough time for Dean's mind to wander back to earlier.

"See this is why I can't get behind God." Dean tells them.

Sam sighs.

"Still debating theology?" Danny asks.

"If he doesn't exist, fine. Bad crap happens to good people. That's how it is. There's no rhyme or reason — just random, horrible, evil — I get it, okay. I can roll with that. But if he is out there, what's wrong with him? Where the hell is he while all these decent people are getting torn to shreds? How does he live with himself? You know, why doesn't he help?"

"This is really bothering you."

"It's not bothering you?"

"What I asked Castiel, it was a genuine question."

"What?" Sam asked, they hadn't relayed the amount of angel-poking they'd done.

"He said he was an angel of the Lord. I asked which lord."

"I mean, if he's an angel then he meant God." Sam pointed out.

Danny shrugged. "You've fought gods before. You've told me."

"Pagan gods, Not God."

"I fought a Stormbringer once. When it angered it formed a lightning storm over half the continent. One minute there were clear skies, the next hail like golf balls, tornadoes, floods."

"That freak storm?! That was years ago, boy, how old were you?"

"Fourteen. That's not the point. The point is, that the people who summoned him called him God's wrath, but he called himself Vortex, among other things..." Danny quiets, lost in the memory for a moment. Then he starts back in on the salt rounds, packing them with increased efficiency.

"It was barely an effort for him to bring the country to its knees, and it wasn’t a human who defeated him, when it came down to it." Dean notes the careful phrasing. "I've seen a lot of weird. I think that if Castiel's Lord is the god you're worried about, then he's probably worried about the things strong enough to fight him."

"Danny," Sam says, "that makes this whole thing a lot less reassuring."

"Yeah, that's freaking terrifying, kid."

Danny fits the last of his salt rounds into a bandolier and drops it on the table with a clatter. He grins. "I can make it worse if you want?"

"Let's not, for now. You're right about the mark." Bobby announces. "They witnessed the unnatural. None of them died what you'd call ordinary deaths. See, these ghosts— they were forced to rise. They woke up in agony. They were like rabid dogs. It ain't their fault. Someone Rose them... on purpose."

"Who?" Sam asks.

"Do I look like I know? But whoever it was used a spell so powerful it left a mark, a brand on their souls. Whoever did this had big plans—"

"Is there a way to find out?" Danny asked, the murder back in his eyes. They weren't turning colors this time though,  they stayed normal human blue.

"Not that I have here, and we have bigger problems. It's called "the rising of the witnesses." It figures into an ancient prophecy."

"Wait, wait. What kind of prophecy?

"Revelations kind. This is a sign, boys."

"A sign of what?"

"The apocalypse."

"Apocalypse? The apocalypse, apocalypse? The four horsemen, pestilence, $5-a-gallon-gas apocalypse?"

"That's the one. The rise of the witnesses is a -- a mile marker."

"Okay, so, what do we do now?" Sam asks.

"Road trip. Grand Canyon, Star Trek Experience—"

"Can we focus?! We find a way to send them to the keeper of tales so they're story will be heard and they can be appeased."

"Well, I don't know about all of that... but I've got a spell it just says it will put them back to rest... if I've translate—"

Danny is out of his seat and looking over the book before Bobby could finish.

"—ed it correctly..." he pushes the book so the kid can get a better look.

Dean raises his eyebrows at Bobby, but he's too busy watching the kid to acknowledge.

"This is really old." Danny mutters, "Some names are out of date, but it mentions the roll they fill in the spell so it should work."

"Names out of date... you know better ones, for... the ancient spell?"Dean asks.

He didn't expect the kid to say, "yeah," and pick up a pen.

"Subject matter expert does the spell," Bobby offers, okay. So, Dean missed something, since when does Bobby hand off this stuff? Since when is Danny the 'subject matter expert?'

"I can... or... look, once we start, all the witnesses who haven't been appeased are going to be compelled to stop us. I can add a clause at the beginning, draw them off while you finish the spell."

"I don't know..."

"I'll go with you." Sam volunteers.

"Are we sure we should split up?" Dean asks.

"You'll have a better chance to complete it if you aren't being swarmed by angry ghosts." Sam points out.

"Maybe we should be the bait," Dean suggested, "Both of you know the spell and can troubleshoot if there's problems, Sam and I can't help that."

"Do you know your true names?"

"What?"

"Do you know the name that encompasses all that you are? And can you write it in a way that covers it but prevents it from being stolen."

Dean turns to stare at him, he doesn't look up from the book.

"If you can,  then sure, if not, then we really shouldn't make those bargains and we don't have time for that."

"Is this related to how you're older than you are?" Dean asks, because he was starting to think Danny hadn't actually been delirious after the seance.

"Yeah."

"You gonna explain that?" Bobby asks.

"There was a summer that didn't happen, and some time travel."

"Time travel." Dean repeated.

"Oh, yeah, I think I'm older than I am too..." Sam realizes.

"That doesn't—"

"Remember the timeloop, Dean? I know you don't remember the six months after the timeloop in the timeline where the Trickster refused to let you live."

"What?!"

"I'm done modifying the spell." Danny said firmly postponing a conversation Dean will be having with his brother.

 

---

Once the fire is started, Bobby burns the paper with Danny's sigils and begins the spell. Dean follows orders, he gathers materials from the near-empty house. Nothing bothers him. He doesn't need the shotgun or the iron fire poker. The spell takes three minutes.

It's another five before Sam and his friend return. They're battered and dirty, but they're alive and they have no serious injuries.

Bobby makes dinner.

They try to help but get kicked out of the kitchen after all the chopping is done.

Sam doesn't tell him about whatever he saw. Dean wonders if he knows what's up with Danny and just won't tell him.

Dinner is hearty and they dont talk because they're too busy eating.

It's been a long day. Yesterday was long too.

Questions can wait till after they sleep, and Dean really wants to sleep.

It's a shame the angel doesn't want him too.

[fizzing-imagines]

Playtime Pt. 2 | Daycare Teacher! Billy Hargrove x Reader

Warnings: Giving birth ig?

Words: 1.3k

"I'm gonna keep it...just so you know.", you mumbled after a while. Your fingers were playing with the hem of your shirt while preparing yourself for what he might say. "And I wanna be in it's life, so we got that figured out.", he said while looking out of the window. "Just...the co-parent thing." You let out a "Mhm." in response. "I mean, you're not ugly. I'd date you, if you let me." He looked over to you, and what he said honestly made you laugh. "Charming.", you commented. "Honestly Billy, I'm a lot. I've got severe mental health issues and a best friend you need to get through beforehand." He shrugged his shoulders. "Sweetheart, I have diagnosed PTSD. It's not much easier with me." He gave you a smirk and you laughed once more. "Wanna trauma-bond?"

Billy took you out every other day, doing his best to keep it hidden from Ari. Jenny, of course, knew about it. But you didn't need Ari to tell everyone at daycare. He went to every appointment he could with you, got you whatever you craved and touched you like you were made of porcelain. Nobody has ever been softer with you than Billy was. "I'm trying to make you mine before he or she pops out.", he said to you once, and he would be damed if that wouldn't work. But judging by how it was going, he was going to reach that goal.

"You're a mechanic?", he asked you in disbelief one evening. Your head was resting on his lap while the two of you were watching the stars. "Pretty damn good one, too.", you added with a proud grin. "I've always liked cars. My brothers couldn't be fucked to help my dad with his car, so I always did. And in high school, I decided to make my hobby my career." Billy gave you a low hum while stroking your head. "Wanted to be a mechanic too.", he said. "But I taught swimming to kids when I was a teenager, so I took that road from there on out." You listened to him carefully, then added a "I'm happy you took that road." once he finished. He smiled down at you while tucking your hair behind your ear. "Now that you mentioned your family", Billy started. Shit. "did you tell them yet? About the baby?" Billy would find out eventually, he couldn't know that it was a bad topic for you. "All dead.", you said while looking back at the stars. "They died of carbon monoxide poisoning on Thanksgiving three years ago." Billy felt guilty for asking. "Oh...I'm sorry, sweetheart.", he said. You shrugged and said "It's okay, you didn't know." Now that he mentioned it, you were curious as well. "Did you tell them?" He looked away for a second, clearly thinking about something. "Max knows, and she's actually surprisingly excited to be an aunt." He smiled at those words. Max was his step-sister, you knew that much after seeing a picture of the two at his place. "I don't talk to the others anymore. Too much trauma." You reached out for his hand and took it into yours. "I'm sorry, Billy.", you said before placing a kiss on his knuckles. He smiled at you, was silent for a few seconds and then said "You know what would make me feel better?". It was odd how quickly he could change topics, but you knew that that was what trauma can do to people. "What?", you asked with a smile on your face. "If I could kiss you." Your cheeks flushed at his request, but you didn't need to think much about your answer. "I'd like that.", you replied with a smile. Billy leaned down, held your face carefully with one hand and kissed you softly.

This went on for months. Whenever you two didn't see each other for more than three days, Billy felt like he was going insane. As soon as he had you in his arms again, he'd greet you and then the baby with a kiss. When the two of you were at his apartment, he talked to the baby for hours. He knew so much about children and how they develop, but seeing his own child grow was so much different. Unfortunately, he couldn't be there when you found out the babies sex, but you were buzzing to tell him. "Not that I won't love a boy, but I'd be ecstatic to have a little princess.", he said to you while resting his hands on your growing stomach. You put your hands in top of his with a smile across your face. "It's a girl, Billy." Your voice was soft, causing him to almost melt on the spot. Once again he pulled you into a hug, a long one, and you swore you felt a tiny wet spot on your shirt. "Shit, you've made me the happiest man alive.", he whispered. You smiled while patting his back. "I believe I can make you even happier.", you said after a while. He let go of you and looked at you with a slightly confused facial expression. "Be my boyfriend. Please?" Now he was grinning ear-to-ear, but instead of hugging you he leaned forwards and kissed you. Of course, you happily gave into the kiss. He leaned his forehead against yours once you broke the kiss. "Nobody ever made me as happy as you did, sweetheart.", he whispered. "I love you. And our princess.". You could feel some tears forming in your eyes at his words. "I love you, too. Both of you." Your voice was shaky, vibrating in both love and adoration.

Next month, the two of you already moved in together. He didn't let you do any of the heavy lifting, saying he'd do it so you won't hurt yourself or the baby. It only took two more months after that until your baby girl was born. She decided that it was her time while Billy was in the middle of his work day, changing a full diaper that was already leaking. "Gotta get used to this, won't I?", he cooed at the small boy on the changing table. The toddler giggled at his tone, showing a toothless grin. "Billy?" His coworker was frantically looking for him. "Billy?" She looked into every room, every corner until she finally found him in the bathroom where he was putting on a new diaper at this point. "Billy!", she said while skipping inside. "What's up?", he asked without looking up. "Your girlfriend called, she's in labour.", she said out of breath. He stopped in his tracks and looked up at her. "What? Well, can I leave? What do I do now?" Now he was panicking. Can he just go? Does he have to finish the day? "Don't just stand there, go!", she rushed him while changing positions with him. He's never rushed out of work faster, quickly grabbing his things and starting his car. Luckily, you two talked about in which hospital you'd give birth before. The 15-minute drive only took him 10 minutes, then he was already rushing through the entrance and was lead to you. To his relief, you weren't in much pain yet as you were given pain killers.

Your daughter truly didn't want to wait anymore, as she was born two hours after Billy's arrival. While there were complications and she had to be delivered via C-Section, Audrey was born healthy. While you rested up, he held her close to his chest and cooed at her to make her feel better. To Billy, she was the most beautiful and precious girl in the world.

And he'd be dammed if anything happened to his new family.

[beatle-george-smut]

george harrison + praise kink pls

SORRY IT TOOK SO LONG ❤️

"Hiya! George!" The familiar voice of his favorite fan rang out. "You look fab, George! I really love your coat!"

And there was no possible chance of getting home anytime soon. His dick was rock hard as soon as she threw that compiment his way.

He turned course and walked over to her. Ah! He really liked her. She looked like Pattie with her blonde hair and the gap between her two front teeth.

"It's cold, luv. Shouldn't you be gettin' home?" George shook his leg hoping to give his hard on more room in his already tight jeans.

"Oh, George, I wasn't about to give up. How's a girl to sleep if she misses a chance to see the wonderful George Harrison?" She smiled widely and put her hand on his arm, before leaning over to give him a kiss on his cheek. "The mustache is perfect, George. I love it! It makes your mouth so..."

George laughed and his hand unconsciously went to his mouth to smooth his newly acquired facial hair. His cock stood up a little straighter. "I'm glad you like me mustache. Do you need a ride to yours?"

Her smile told him everything he needed to know. "That would be lovely, George. But I don't want to be a bother. " She pulled her coat tighter.

"Where d'ya live?" He took a slow drag on his cigarette. His eyes stared at her mouth. He could imagine his throbber sliding in and out between her very sweet looking lips.

"Teddington. Near Memorial Hospital." She looked at him and he noticed she had blue eyes. Inwardly he sighed with relief. Teddington wasn't out of his way.

"Well, come on then. You must have to get up early for school." She started to follow him to his car.

"You mean work, don't you? I've been out of school two years." She opened the passenger door and hopped in.

"Really? You look like a school girl." Not that he wanted to fuck or be blown by a 16 year old. He just wanted to make sure she wasn't a child.

"I wish. But no, I'm an old hag of 19!" Her laugh was as enticing as her mouth. George wished he could undo his jeans and free his cock.

He started to put the key in the ignition when she put her hand on his. He stopped and looked at her.

She put her fingers to her lips and shrugged out of her coat. Slowly she pulled up her thickly knitted jumper and there they were two bouncy tits under a lacey vest.

"Please." Was all she said.

George's hands were freezing and by the time he'd freed those lucious boobies, her nipples were hard pebbles that he started to suck on. He felt her hands in his hair. She'd gotten on her knees and was humping his thigh. Her little groans of pleasure made him want to fuck her, but he couldn't go home with his cock smelling of another woman.

To his complete happiness her hands left his head and were unbuttoning and unzipping his jeans. As his cock sprang out of its prison, he thought he might cum at the sound of her gasp.

"Oh my god, George. You're huge. I knew you would be. Your cock is absolutely perfect." She smiled at him. "I knew it would be," And her cold but soft hand began to warm up as she stroked his shaft, which with every compliment she gave him grew harder and harder. "Although, if my head is in your lap, your mouth can't be driving me crazy." And she let go of his dick to press his face harder into her boobs.

His teeth bit her nipples, which made her squirm even more enticingly. "Oh, George. I wish this could last forever. You have no idea what you're doing to me!"

"Let me turn the heater on and we can get in the back seat," he suggested. He hoped they wouldn't die from carbon monoxide poisoning at the same time, he knew the guard that patrolled Twickenham would look the other way.

She nodded her agreement and hopped into the back, while George used the door to go out then back in. As soon as he was in she started pulling at his jeans. "Hold on, luv, let me take them off." He kicked off his shoes and wiggled out of his jeans. The girl was naked from the waist up but he was relieved she kept her trousers on.

"George, I hope you won't be angry , but I can't fuck you. But I hope you won't be disappointed if I can only give you a blow job." She gave a little frown as she searched his face.

"Don't worry, luv. I'm sure that will be just perfect. " He realized he'd love to feel her pussy and see how wet she was, but she slapped his hands away from the waist of her trousers.

"George I'm sorry. But," he could barely hear her as she whispered, " It's that time of the month."

He nodded his understanding and leaned back as she lowered her head and took him into her soft, wet mouth. She might look like a child but she gave a blow job that almost made the top of his head explode. Her tongue swirled around the head. Her teeth lightly scraped his shaft. She licked his balls and held them firmly when he was so far down her throat he hoped he wouldn't choke her. And just as he thought he might come, her finger was suddenly up his asshole wiggling just right as he shot his wad.

She slurped and moaned and groaned. Her hot breath warmed his shrinking cock.

"You smell so good, George." She looked up at him through her lashes. "And you taste scrumptious. Just delicious."

He was at a loss for words but pulled her up next to him and hugged her. He couldn't stop himself. He did what he hardly ever did with fans, he kissed her. Her mouth let him know what he'd missed by not being able to fuck or eat her honey pot. What was it about her that he liked so much? She just made him feel worthy. That was it. Even when they had just had short conversations, she made him feel important.

He was relieved when she put her vest and jumper back on. She put her hand on his thigh as he drove through the night toward Teddington.

He was stopped at a light when she leaned over and kissed him. "You are the best Beatle. Don't ever forget it!" And before he could respond she jumped out of the car and disappeared into the mists of the night.

George hadn't felt so happy in ages. He couldn't quite put his finger on it, but that lovely girl had straightened out his head. If just for the moment.

[mataftwo]

I want people to know what is going on in Iran at the moment, they are killing young girls at schools.

They are using Carbon Monoxide to attack girls high schools in Qom.

More than 200 teenage girls have been poised and are currently hospitalized.

If you don't know what Carbon Monoxide is, it's a deadly gas.

And they are not giving any explanation about it, not to their parents nor to the media.

I have a friend who lives in Qom (where it's happening) and when I asked her about it, she wasn't talking about it. She just told me, she is not going to school anymore and she can't talk about what's happening in their schools.

People want to know why gas poisoning is only happening to girls' school and not for boys' school. And why only high schools?

https://www.bbc.com/persian/live/64694591

UPDATE: they started attacking schools in other cities too. There are rumors the reason for these attacks is that they are trying to stop girls from going to school.

[smellybead]

OP do you have the essay about how Morro died 👀

Let me access my google docs really quick

Ok bear in mind I am not very good at writing shit and I'm not very good at chemistry but I think I did ok when I wrote this

After leaving Master Wu in search of his destiny and to prove his old master and the Golden Weapons wrong, Morro died in the Caves of Despair while seeking out the First Spinjitsu Master’s Tomb. He died after being trapped in a chamber full of the gas ‘kethanol’ - from a geyser in the chamber. Kethanol is a fictional gas that is extremely flammable and explosive and is released from deep well mining (this information was provided by Zane upon the ninja entering the caves of Despair - S5 EP7, Crooked Paths). While kethanol is not a real gas in our world, we can relate it back to gases that do exist for us and their effects on the human body by examining the location and circumstances of the gas.

So from the information given, we can correlate kethanol back to two likely examples of gas that would exist in a similar environment: hydrogen sulfide (H2S) and carbon monoxide (CO). H2S is a largely natural occurring gas, usually produced when bacteria breaks down organic material (typically in bogs and swamps, hence why it is also referred to as ‘swamp gas’). However, H2S can also be produced by volcanoes, hot springs, thermal vents, and geysers. CO can be sourced from geysers and coal mining. So both of these gases are comparable to kethanol.

And of course, being a fictional gas, kethanol could have drastically different effects on the human body than the gases stated, but these can give us the best guess on how Morro would have been affected in the cave chamber.

Now, in geysers, CO and H2S usually only make up a small amount of the different gases being released and only really occur in minor quantities. However, the composition of gases in spring waters located in fresh, hot volcanic areas is typically quite different. In cases like these, CO is known to be even more prevalent than CO2 (which is usually the most prominent gas). And in some areas, H2S makes up about 20% of active gases. We can consider the chamber in the Caves of Despair volcanic as in the episode ‘Crooked Paths’ (again, S5 EP7), the ninja barely made it out as the geyser violently erupted, spilling lava everywhere.

CO poisoning is generally quite a common issue and in a few cases, where it is allowed to continue to enter the body for longer, results in death. When there is too much CO in the air, your body begins replacing the oxygen in your red blood cells with CO. Depending on the concentration and the size of the person, CO poisoning typically takes about two hours to occur. Symptoms include things such as dizziness, disorientation, nausea/vomiting, chest pain, headaches and weakness but can eventually lead to unconsciousness, seizures, arrhythmias (irregular beating of the heart), and death. A few severe cases of CO poisoning may also involve the skin turning a bright “cherry-red” colour. 

Similarly to CO, large concentrations of H2S can quickly lead to death. While lower amounts of the gas may only result in headaches, loss of appetite, sleep troubles, slight eye and throat irritation, and nausea, strong amounts can lead to staggering, collapse within as little as five minutes (or even nearly instantly if the concentration is at extremely high levels), significant damage to the eyes, and death within 30-60 minutes.

The fatal effects of these two gases are very likely along the lines of what Morro’s death was like. It could have been a mix of these symptoms, or even wildly different but these results can lead us to a decent conclusion of what he would have been experiencing in his final moments.

He makes me so mentally ill /affectionate