#how do i get my bus pass
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how the fuck do you reheat rice without it drying out
#other questions:#how do i get my bus pass#will i get arrested for stealing loquats if they're on city owned land#is my gas stove going to give me carbon monoxide poisoning if i forget to open a window#can i use the dehumidifier or will it kill my indoor plants#and what kind of lizard did i see this morning it was a cool lizard and i didn't get a picture for inaturalist
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For my birthday maybe you could
do a good deed to a stranger even if it is small; pass on a good deed that was done to you
donate to a charity supporting trans youth, victims of domestic violence, refugees, or palestine
pitch your favorite, most formative book to me
#personal#or yknow#draw me solas and solavellan uwu#but for real my bus driver and i had such a lovely heartwarming convo about passing on good deeds#buying something at the grocery store for someone who was about to get caught shoplifting#going into target to grab an unhoused person a package of bottled waters#yknow#things she and i see frequently and do as often as we can#the world can be a good place when we care for each other#so yeah#spread the love or show me something that taught you how to love
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Lois was kidnapped and held prisoner by the Parasite for six whole in-universe months, gets back for one day, and immediately tackles Deathstroke the Terminator when he teleports into the Daily Planet. Lois.
#to be fair when Clark rescued her. THE NIGHT BEFORE. he immediately keeled over and nearly died so like. i get it. but also.#six months??? they decided six months had passed??#it seemed like they were going for two months after the Valentine's thing but ok#..... this is why they stopped putting specific dates in comics#great job maws she WOULD steal a space ship immediately if required to help Clark#.... for my purposes i will be reducing it down to two months tho#for both 'she don't deserve that' but also it made more sense before they decided to catch up to real time at the end before a skip instead#of after#which like come on guys. you know how to do that#anyway uh the magic school bus episode from twenty five years ago was great#and actually was after the age nonsense stuff and power loss so now i have to go back#i thought maybe it was slipped in before because i thought he had his powers or Clark would mention the age stuff but noppppe#yeah i know i can go find a reading list somewhere. or i could figure it out myself. and entertain you with my silly bad team Super doodles
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being the perfect combo of tired, hungry, sad, and on your period that one slightly mean comment from a stranger is guaranteed to throw off the entire rest of your day
#i had let my second class out a little early in hopes of catching the bus (usually i miss it by minutes)#but then i had several students sticking around to ask me questions after class#so i was really frazzled and rushing to get the bus at a stop i've never used before#and because of that i didn't know to expect a whole stream of people getting off#i didn't mean to try barging on! and it's not like i was pushing past people once i realized what was happening#but then the bus driver stopped me after i showed him my pass and asked in a badgering voice#'do you have an audio processing disorder? seriously do you actually have an audio processing disorder?'#and i couldn't even say anything because i was so caught off guard by how aggressive it was#then spent the entire rest of the ride trying not to cry#especially after someone did the exact same thing i did two stops later and tried to step on immediately#and the driver totally laughed it off with her!#so now i'm in a shitty mood and don't want to do any of the stuff i had planned to get done with the rest of my day#also what a horrible way to treat someone if they did have an auditory processing disorder#clearly the guy is just a dick but he caught me at the exact wrong time and now i'm not going to be able to shake this for a while#ugh ugh ugh#personal
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Does anyone else automatically size themselves up with people their age and look for ways that you’re inferior to them? Just me? Ok….
#the reasons why I think like this are…complicated#honestly a lot to do with the#adhd struggle bus#surprise surprise the neurodevelopmental condition has overarching and very specific effects on my life and how I interact with the world#of course disclaimer that this weird thing I have is not inherent to adhd#but maybe is a way of thinking I developed in part due to it#this is a me thing if anyone else relates to this fine but you don’t have to#I think thi oversharing series is a way for me to microdose journaling#I try to get into journaling but I have way too many thoughts#it’s all or nothing either I write nothing or I spend 3 hours documenting everything thought I had that week#I think a lot of this has to do with my persistent issues with time management#and I’ve tried to hide this struggle in a lot of ways because ngl it’s embarrassing#to the point where I held myself back from doing certain things I wanted to do because ‘hmm could you handle it though you’re already#struggling to manage in school with the bare minimum. maybe you just suck’#and this is probably because I went to a college prep school so yeah#there were 14 year olds taking multivariable calculus and people with various talents#to say that I was intimidated would be an understatement. it’s strange because while in middle school my self esteem was decent it dropped#in high school like how stock prices dropped in the beginning of Covid#even though I was like an ok kid I somehow convinced myself that I was dumb and inept#all because I struggled with one area in my life#honestly I’m not sure if I can paint a clear picture of this time. for one#memories are complex. but I do remember feeling that way and needing a lot of support to be hyped up#fuck#I’m now remembering how my aunt used to be that person. she was my cheerleader growing up and practically raised me in childhood#she passed away from cancer right when I turned 15#shit I’m crying now#during this time in my life I needed a lot of reassurance since I took any small failure as a sign from the universe that I was indeed inept#it was her and my middle school friend who used to rant to me about dragon ball and pewdiepie that hyped me up#my parents were a mixed bag. unfortunately they too sorta overreacted to things like getting a B in math. they used to make me feel like#uchiha-gaeshi overshares
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I also have good things going on in my life. I am going to get more into Crafts. and my dear irl now has free range of Having A Car and said we will hangs out. and also as always The Puter is a Place Your Friends Are. And I am not bound to school any more :3 So 2025 Could be my year. Maybe
#vwoop.noises#might even go see my grandparents more often since im not supposed to be at school#but. ughhh Ages ago my brother got into a car accident and took my moms car bc hes employed#and he/we cant afford another one . For Obvious Reasons#So this has also made everything worse.#Which. I have to learn how to drive again maybe seeing my dear irl do it effortlessly has given me a bit of confidence#But I do not want to learn in my dads pickup truck whos only ecological niche is killing children#On account of I don't want to kill children.#(Also I will Get Scared again. If I Try)#.. maybe in some years. I will ask my best friend. To teach me. Or something. Or I could ask my brother but hes also scary#But there's been a bus extension out here for a second and I still have a free bus pass. So I could just do that. N get out sometimes
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I'm trying to find ways to slowly ease my way into taking walks (debilitating social anxiety) so I was going to download pokemon go again but my phone is too old :(
#im actually very upset abt this lol#all of the other tricks ive found rely on having a dog to walk#and like i would love to get my own dog but i absolutely cannot afford one lmao#so i guess i just. still can't go on walks#nobody seems to understand just how impossible it is for me to walk down the street when im not trying to get somewhere#like just going for a walk for fun/to look at nature feels like im being killed#people are LOOKING at me and when someone even so much as glances at me while im walking i instantly feel like I'm doing something wrong#or like they're going to misunderstand my sort of odd behaviors#i can't walk slow because they'll think im a stalker. i can't walk fast because ill get out of breath and they'll think im disgusting#i can't keep a normal pace because im too nervous and i just spend the whole time tense and hate myself even more when i get home#like. what the hell am i supposed to do lol#getting a dog is the only way i think i could stop myself from spiraling like that bc of COURSE im walking slow and leisurely.#im walking my dog. my dog wants to smell and has to poop or whatever#im no longer a freaky fat stalker im just some guy walking my dog#this became more of a vent than i was expecting lmao but if anyone has any actual tangible tips for how to go on walks i would appreciate it#when i had to walk 2 miles to class i used to take a small part of an edible right before i got on the bus lmao and that worked WONDERS#but i don't want to have to do that just to walk around my own neighborhood when i eventually move out#i just want to be normal lmao i want to go out and find bugs and look at leaves#i guess i could walk in the woods but what if i get lost#i want to be able to look at stuff. i want to be able to stop and look at a plant while some person passes by me#without feeling like im going to blow up or like they're going to hit me or like IM going to hit THEM#im used to anxiety but i always feel so erratic in public places. when everyone wore masks i was a little better#i still mask most of the time but it doesn't help anymore bc now im like one of the only people that does it#so now instead of blending in AND having my face covered i just stand out more#my face is still covered so it still helps but its like barely a net positive lmao#i want to be able to look around without worrying that someone is looking at me from their window and thinks im a stalker#truly how the hell am i supposed to do that without a dog lol
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went to the beach w kp & 4 other indian friends & 3 of us had NEVER surfed before girl WHEW it’s SO fun literally only 20quid to rent a wetsuit & board & i fucking smashed my toes on the sand so much, but also we 1) got the wrong tickets so we got off 1 stop early 2) went to find a bus & the bus that was supposed to be 15 min turned into an HOUR 3) on our way to find a bus back everyone’s phones are dying or dead bc it took us 3hrs longer to get there, cigarettes are out 4) all of the shops in town are closed & the town seems to have ONLY a tesco extra & 1 off license that sells a PACK FOR 15.65 A PACK WHICH IS FUCKING CRIMINAL ITS CHEAPER TO BUY IT FROM TESCO ARE U INSANE 5) the bus back to the other town kept skipping us bc the bus stop wasn’t the ACTUAL bus stop - i had 1 bowl since literally 11a & we got back at fucking 11p 😭😭😭
#diary#i was honestly abt to strangle EVERYBODY#‘do u have a cigarette’ ‘where’s ur vape’ ‘where are we going’ ‘which bus is it’ ‘do u have a ___’ ‘did u bring ___’ girl what am i DORA w#the magic fuckin BACKPACK ??? while ur UP MY ASS dig around & SEE IF SMTHGS IN THERE 😭😭😭😭#i literally broke sobriety again bc i was just#girl i was so agitated & there was 1 TRAIN LEFT BEFORE 11P so we needed to get the 2ND TO LAST BUS OF THE DAY#i deadass was like ‘if we miss that train i will make sure u all go blind’ ‘did u bring a knife’ ‘I DONT NEED 1’#AKSJAKSKAKKSJSKSSJAKJSKAHSKSHDLASKAKDLA#LIKE U BITCHES SMOKED ALL MY CIGARETTES MY VAPES DEAD MY PHONES DYING UR ALL DRUNK IM GOING TO KILL YALL 😭😭😭😭😭#<- me knowing i could never be a parent#tbh if i caught my kid smoking a cig id make em do the ol ‘im going to sit down in front of u w a fresh box of cigarettes & make u finish#the box or pass out’#YES IM STRICT#i think it’s so funny ok unrelated but like they’ll speak hindi & i’ve just#learned it through being around them kind of like i can’t speak it except for some word u know like matachot etc but i’ll Understand the#Context & what’s being Said#ASLKALSKALSKLAKSLAKSLAKSLA like while waiting for the train back 1 of them was talking abt me being a fool to the others - literally they’re#all indian & i had walked away so when i walked back he was still talkin but then i started giggling bc i knew he was talkin abt me & how i#pinched a bit of the kebab to throw to the seagull bc he offered it to me & i needed to bait the seagull w something & i pinched & tossed &#& he looked at me like 😦 bhenchod ! & then the seagull came over & i was like :D hi bestie <3333 but then when i started giggling after i#walked back he was like ‘what the fuck does he just know hindi now’#it makes me laugh so fucking HARD 😭😭😭😭😭 LIKE FUCK U I LIKE TO PARTICPATE IN COVERSATION IDC ABT LANGUAGE#like i’ve been surrounded by yall for the past#girl it’s been like a year i don’t even talk to british ppl or americans#ALSKALSKALSKALKSLAKSLALSLA MESS ! i love to slavsquat & kp hates it bc he’s like ‘we’re in the uk why are u sitting like this�� bc he thinks#it’s ’too indian’ ALSKALSKALSKALJSKAKDLA 😭😭😭😭😭 this hips were made for sitting#we’re definitely going to go back bc it’s SO CLOSE IF WE ACTUALLY USE THE TRANSPORT PROPERLY ITS ONLY LIKE AN HOUR OR SO COMMUTE EACH WAY#bring lunch whatever#i’m exhausted but also socially like bro i had to leave the donner place just to walk around the block for SOME QUIET#i’ve just been sososososo busy LOSING MY MIND
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AUGH. was planning a trip to a big city memorial museum i've never been to before bc all my school field trips and countless later visits were to the main art and history museum. i just looked up the memorial museum, and not only do they have a REALLY cool exhibit coming up concerning a topic i'm interested in, not only do they also have a really extensive archive that available to both academics and the public upon appointment, but volunteer opportunities are available for several positions in the museum including archival assistance!!!
it's administrative duties rather than archival management (which good, people need qualifications for that) but that's literally what i'm considering getting a degree in!!! so it's not only something i'd be passionate about if my application was accepted, but if i decide to commit and enroll this fall, then that would be getting experience in the field!
#also living history applications are available to ppl who have volunteered enough but i doubt i'd pass muster considering i look like a 13#year old boy if i pass lmao. and i'm not doing a living history role as a woman no matter how bad they might need it. so i'll pribably have#to pass on that but i'm still stupidly excited about the possibility of other volunteer work!!#i need to visit the museum and decide if i like it first before i even think about that and also factor in driving in big city traffic and#godawful streets (terrifying) or using our public transport system which i've never done before and have no idea how much it would be#just checked the price and yeah if i decide to do this i'm one million percent riding the bus idc if the route will take 45 mins to 2 hrs#i would happily spend two hours in a bus over 35 in a car having to fear for my life on the ride there. also NO PARKING POG!!!!#i may or may not post pics of my upcoming visit. oh who am i kidding i'm probably gonna post some and absolutely spam my friends with the#rest (anna this means u. i still adore ur museum pics). i also might get so entranced i forget to take any pictures which has happened#before when i get sucked into museums before lmao. we shall see#len speaks
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..........I LEFT MY WALLET ON THE BUS
#before i get any advice i know im calling lost and found tomorrow morning because theyre closed rn pls dont tell me what to do#im hoping the bus i get on is the one i left my wallet on because it has everything in it... my ID all my cards#i had a bunch of cash too and tbh idc about that i just want my bus pass my ID and my cards#everything in my bag fell out and i didn't even notice until it was almost empty... how did i not see my wallet fall out too
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Ew, essays :[
I miss the old days of kindergarten when we attempted to color butterflies and ate erasers and glue
-🎁
I hated kindergarten
Essays may suck but at least now I'm not the weird kid in the corner wishing I had friends
However yes I absolutely despise essays with all my being... in fact!
Achievement unlocked: you somehow found a topic moshie hates enough and on a bad day to start them ranting in the tags...
Warning there are curse words, poor spelling, and caps locks
Sorry in advance
#asks#off topic#seriously tho i hate essays so much#one of them is already 5 pages and thats just the rough draft#i better get a fucking high pass on that shit or i will scream#shes actually making us focus on out writing process and OH HO.HO BOY IS MINE A MESS#I SWEAR ITS LIKE TRYING TO MAKE A SKETCH BUT YOU KEEP PAINTING CERTAIN PARTS BECAUSE IT HAS TO LOOK NICE#ONLY TO RELIZE OH WAIT MAYBE THAT DOESN'T GO THERE AND I SHOULD ACTUALLY SHIFT IT AROUND#OR MAYBE I COULD SWAP THIS TOO BE THAT LOOKS AWFUL AND IT JUST KEEPS GETTING WORSE AND WORSE TILL ITS A RIVER OF BLOOD AND PAINT#AND SHE WANTS TO SEE MY ROUGH DRAFT??? HONNEY YOU WOULD HAVE A BETTER CHANCE AT READING THE MARIO SUNSHINE SPEEDRUN CATEGORY BACKWARDS THEN#UNDERSTANDING WHAT THE FUCK IM TRYING TO WRITE ITS WHY I HAVE TO WRITE IT ALL IN ONE GO OTHERWISE I HAVE TO LOOK BACK AND UNDERSTAND WHAT#WAS GOING THROUGH MY HEAD WHILE LOOKING THROUGH THIS MESS!!! OOOHH WHAT? YOU WANT ME TO ORGANIZE THIS WELL SHIT THATS GOING TO TAKE EVEN#LONGER YOU ALREADY GOT ME WRITING WHY DO YOU HAVE TO MAKE ME STOP MUCH LESS MAKE ME SWITCH SUBJECTS TO ANOTHER ESSAY HALF WAY THROUGH OH BU#AND GUESS WHAT!???? ONE PAGE! DOUBLE SPACE! AND IM NOT GOING TO GIVEN GIVE YOU A DIRECTION TO WRITE IN JUST ANYTHING ABOUT WHAT WE LEARNED#IN THESE LAST TWO WEEKS! TWO WEEKS FUCKING HELL DO YOU KNOW HOW INDECISIVE AND FORGETFUL I AM??? MUCH LESS THE FACT KTS ABOUT ETHNICS#I DIDNT EVEN EANT TO TAKE AN ETHNICS CLASS I WANTED ETHICS I FUCKING HATE EVERY SO MUCH RIGHT NOW#LIKE YEA SURE I KNOW THEY'RE IMPORTANT BUT I STILL HATE ESSAYS and j know my teachers are trying their best...#but jeese ethnics is such a difficult topic because on one had yea i relate to what these people are going through im part of the LGBT#are statistics are very similar but im also bery much a white person and not openly trans/non binary i dont want to look like some stuck up#white person going oooo look at the poor minorities i can TotAlLy relate and now im going to talk about me#because im genuinely scared of coming out idk whos accepting and whos not at least online im safe and can block people...#jeese im sorry for the rant i shouldn't have gone on that much less my art blog#this is supposed to be a positive blog but i just need to put this somewhere or i feel im going to cry out of frustration im sorry#rant post#system#oops moshie got emotional
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it’s insane to me that people can just spend a month watching an entire tv show and then finish the finale and go on with their lives the next day as if it was nothing whereas i have to spend the next 2 months ruminating on the show as a whole and trying to figure things out by looking up fan theories and explanations for what happened
#i rewatched lost and my mom watched it too and i’m like ok. so what do you think happened when..#and she’s like. idk.#and i’m like ok. but at the end when… do you think that was talking about…#and she’s like. idk#like!! girl i can’t stop thinking about it it’s like a death in the family for me when a tv show ends#like i have to Reflect on it and she’s just like yeah i forgot it ended lol like ok. ok#wish i could be that normal honestly and not scouring reddit for answers#like i straight up had a dream about desmond last night like i’m not getting over it#i’m processing rip#but something that is also so funny to me that i completely missed the first time for some reason is how obvious they made it that it wasnt#filmed in la like it didn’t register that it was filmed on island the first time i watched which is funny bc i was still living there at#the time but this time i’m like oh lol i know exactly where that is or that’s literally the city bus passing by in this scene or#that’s my high school and that is the school behind the skate park that is 2 blocks down from my gr*ndmothers house where i lived was#and drove by everyday like that doesn’t matter it’s just that it was like watching it for the first time bc i didn’t not notice before
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applied for benifits......... been feeling sick ever since 👎
#hate how being scared of phone calls is a meme thing that ppl make fun of#this shit fucks me up#& I'm so fucking ashamed of it#my mum said I won't get accepted because I have like 800 bucks in savings. from my grandma's inheritance#I just want the free bus pass that comes with benifits tbh.#I can only leave the house twice a month on pocket money#&... I don't want to rely on my mum for everything. I know I can't get a job.#but does that really mean I'll never be able to do anything on my own?#that everywhere I go & everything I do has to be approved of by my parents?#my dad hates me. I don't want his money
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i love. when a parcel gets redirected to a store 40 minutes from me. i love this. this is so so so fine. i can Definitely walk that far and i can Definitely carry a Large parcel that costs a Lot of money through the Dodgiest part of my area On My Own on monday. This is SO FUCKING FINE.
#.txt#i am. so not fine.#this cost me so much money. and now#this?#actually just fucking kill me.#i can't do this.#i can't send someone Else because it needs this stupid pass bullshit.#WHAT DO YOU MEAN NO ONE WAS IN.#THERE ARE 4 PEOPLE IN THIS HOUSE.#AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA#i cannot overstate how difficult this is going to be#like i can't even walk 10 minutes to the library.#or the 15 minutes to the bus.#am i going to have to pay for a fucking taxi to go pick up my miseserable fucking parcel#just fucking kill me.#just fucking. end me.#this is FINE. i'm fine.#it'll be FINE.#its not going to be fine i'm so fucked.#i'm SO fucked.#head in fucking hands.#WHY DID NO ONE HEAR IT?#is no one downstairs??#did y'all not TELL me you're going out???????#AUGH#kill me.#i'm just Very Very Very stressed okay? okay.#this was a lot of money and i can't Not get it but i can't Physically FUCKING GET IT#AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA#i'm so so so stresed and so upset and just. everything is awful actually.
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It's either being able to drive or having a job
Somehow you can't have both
#when i first got my license not the learners but the actual driving license and could operate a motor vehicle and did frequently after that#and i first got my driving license i was actually freshly out of a job#like i had my driving test date booked for weeks at this point and the date was coming up#i was laid off#i did my driving test a few days after that#and fucking passed on the first try#WOOO🥳🥳🥳 YAY#I've been unemployed since.#fast forward to now still unemployed#3 years with a license and 3 years unemployed#i think its 4 actually--#anyway#im realizing#my license expires in 2025.#sure i drive but i don't drive often cus i can only drive my moms car#wouldn't be hilarious if my license expires and a few days after that i get a job interview--#🤭🤭#i wouldn't be mad if i couldn't drive tbh i already take the bus everywhere#literally every time i drive its to go to the fucking store or if its dark outside#and since I'm no longer in school im not driving to school either#id be funny if i get a job after my license expires-🤭#id rather the job than the license tbh#cus i can work a jobby job get my bread up and its not like i suddenly dont know how to drive anymore#i can get my license back renew it do my tests again sure id be annoying to do my tests again but id do it#cus guess what at least I'd have a job#it's either being able to drive or having a job cus somehow you cant have both#kay just saying shit
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If someone doesn’t get an incredible feeling of dread and despair with New when i write the later chapters im going to kill someone (my father) (the restraining order time limit is running out anyways) (hate him) (he deserves it dw)
#I was on the bus just Thinking and oh my God I can make him so fucking miserable#still haven’t figured out how he starts getting along with gryffon or like. a few things. but ohhhhh man im plottinggggg#they miiiiiiight get a little gay with it#but that’s not the POINT the POINT is the hate towards not recognizing yourself after finally getting used to the body your in it’s about#the fear that is getting your freedom stripped away when it was so close you could almost taste it’s about not being seen but dancing on#your dead body in spite as your friends who looked passed you while you were alive are killing eachother#it’s seeing this dead and awful world and being so disconnected from anything you want to be that you see it more in a positive light cause#it’s all you can do. it’s all you’ve been made to do#anyways get hyped for new chapters lmao I’m almost done editing the next one!#New.A
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