#the world can be a good place when we care for each other
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This is a hard truth that a lot of people don't want to hear, that there needs to be a balance between holding men accountable for their behavior, pointing out injustices that they benefit from, and at the same time encouraging them to learn and grow.
And this goes for any group of people, really, but especially so for young men right now.
I was saying this shit back before the 2016 election and really pissed off a lot of people for daring to argue that we should encourage our allies instead of shaming and alienating them.
"Yes, absolutely, people should support our civil rights because it's the right thing to do, but a lot of people genuinely do not know how much of the world is structured to prop them up at the cost of bringing others down."
I'm going to say something possibly really, really controversial here, especially in the wake of THIS election:
Most people are capable of being empathetic, understanding, and logical, but if you are going to engage with them then you have to have the maturity to commit to reaching them.
At one of the places I worked previously, there was this security guard who worked a few nights at the end of the week who was honestly one of my best friends there. He was a well-educated, very devout Christian man around my father's age, and he was black. For context, I am a young Irish-American liberal Hellenic Polytheist.
We actually got along far better with each other than I did with all of the hippie woo neopagan people I knew there, and he with the Christians there. And that's because we were not only both well educated within our belief systems, we were also really good at meeting in the middle and extending social grace and understanding to each other. We found that our core principles were perfectly aligned, we just didn't always arrive to our conclusions in the same exact ways.
When the pandemic hit in 2020, he was reluctant to get vaccinated, and when we talked about it I was the one person who got through to him. And he told me so. He told me outright, after he got vaccinated, that it was my voice that changed his mind.
I did not do that by shaming him over all of the people he might kill if he caught COVID and spread it. I did not do that by attacking his intellect or scientific literacy. I did not do that by threatening his financial security and pointing out that companies are letting people go for not getting vaccinated.
I did it by acknowledging his beliefs and concerns (especially as an older black man, given this country's history), and agreeing that he absolutely has valid reasons to feel the way he does, but by letting him know that my position on this subject was one of caring about his well-being above all else and letting him know when I got vaccinated and where, and how the process went for me.
Look, shaming CAN be effective in some limited scenarios, and I've done that, too. I've shamed quite a few people on public transit for refusing to let disabled elderly people sit. I am very much guilty of telling a woman that her imaginary friend does not need a seat of their own so that a guy who fell over getting on the bus could actually sit the fuck down.
But when it comes to bigger picture social issues, it's so much better to try to reach people and establish dialogue FIRST. And I know that that is asking a lot. For many of us, it goes against our very instincts.
At the local farmer's market last week, I had a man come up to me in a MAGA hat and I was absolutely braced for a fight. Instead, he eagerly showed me pictures on his phone of the garden he was cultivating. He was almost GIDDY about his plants, about the wildflowers and the pollinators and the fruit and the trees. That man was reachable. He was not there to attack me for being a queer woman. He was there to bond over how cool plants are and had no idea what he was really signing up for.
It's so much easier to condemn people broadly as monsters, and I know it feels much more satisfying and rewarding in the moment. I've done it, too. I was downright obnoxious about it when I was younger. But this is not the kind of behavior that leads to long-term societal growth.
The more we cut off and alienate people, the easier it is for them to fall prey to indoctrination. Exposure and social engagement is our biggest weapon against bigotry and THAT is a major reason as to why the Republican party wants to destroy public education.
I have had an immense uphill battle with some of my closest male friends in trying to keep them from falling down the alt-right pipeline. It's been a nearly two decade endeavor in a few cases, but I have seen those men in my life gradually improve and become well-rounded, empathetic, and educated men.
I guess what I'm saying here is, if you have a man (or ANYONE for that matter!) in your life who is showing early warning signs and/or you believe is susceptible to the MAGA movement, please think about what I've said. It's so much harder to approach them from a place of understanding than of anger and I get that, but at the end of the day, one of those is going to be much more effective at changing their viewpoint.
Lastly, if you find yourself in a situation where you are trying to engage with someone who thinks very differently than you do, here are a few tips and some examples:
1. Acknowledge their viewpoint.
"I understand where you're coming from"
"I think I see why you think/feel this way"
Or even just asking, "I don't really understand, can you explain how you arrived to this conclusion/viewpoint/opinion, etc.?"
2. Offer them an olive branch.
"I see what you're saying, and actually, I think you will find that our opinions aren't too different from each other's."
"You have a point about this, and if I could just build off of that, here is where I am coming from."
3. Address their concerns
"Yeah, you're right, our taxes are already way too high, but if we didn't have to raise them at all and could, instead, take a hard look at how they are already being spent?"
"Wolf reintroduction absolutely could be a problem for farmers if it's handled poorly, and you're right that city people don't understand that as intimately as you do, but what if I told you there's a way we could work this out to your benefit, too?"
4. Thank them for listening! (even if they didn't magically change their opinion right away, you never know)
"I'm glad we had this talk, thank you for hearing what I had to say."
5. Reassure them that you listened, too! (even if YOU didn't change your mind)
"I can't say you've changed my mind, but you've given me something to think about."
I couldn't have said it better myself.
#I was saying this shit back in 2016 before the election even happened#and people were pissed at me for daring to argue that we should be encouraging allies#instead of just broadly shaming entire groups as irredeemable villains#because as unpleasant as it may be NONE of us are immune to indoctrination#and when you alienate people and convince them they are inherently bad#you are making it VERY easy for them to fall prey to these kinds of groups#I still to this day regret cutting ties with one of my uncles back then for posting something about the Confederate flag on his FB page#not because I was wrong to be upset with him over it#but because he wasn't too far gone yet and there was a window of time at which I could have pulled him back from the brink#instead I caved to peer pressure and cut him off... and it was to save my own skin more than anything else#eight years later this man has gone WAY off the deep end and there is likely no turning back#alienating people pushes them towards extremism NOT enlightenment#people improve when they are given space to learn and grow and I know that is hard#please learn from my mistake if you're reading this and you know someone who isn't too far gone yet
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Heyyy
What about something very cutesy where Kenan and reader are on vacation(where he went this summer with his friends) and reader is waiting for Kenan to get ready on their bed to go out for dinner and when he finishes he goes to her and they kiss etc and Kenan doesnât want to leave anymore but the reader obliges him. Little messy I knowđ
STAY IN? - KENAN YILDIZ
Kenan wants to stay in
Kenan Yildiz x fem! reader
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The hotel room was softly lit, the sounds of waves crashing on the beach outside filling the air with a peaceful rhythm.
I was sprawled across the bed, my legs dangling off the edge as I absentmindedly scrolled through my phone.
Kenan had been in the bathroom for what felt like forever, getting ready for our dinner reservations.
I sighed dramatically, calling out to him, âAnd you say Iâm the one who takes forever to get ready? Whatâre you doing in there, applying a full face of makeup?â
From behind the closed door, I heard him laugh. âPatience, woman. Iâm almost done,â he teased back.
I rolled my eyes, but couldnât stop the grin spreading across my face. I was honestly just excited to spend a night out with him after our long day exploring the island.
It felt like we were in our own little world here, with no schedules, no responsibilitiesâjust each other.
Finally, the bathroom door creaked open, and Kenan stepped out, adjusting the collar of his shirt.
My eyes traveled over him, taking in the sight of his sun-kissed skin and how ridiculously good he looked in that fitted shirt. He smirked when he caught me staring.
âWhat? You like what you see?â he asked, his voice a low tease as he crossed the room to me.
I shrugged, trying to play it cool. âYou clean up alright, I guess,â I said, though the way my eyes lingered on him gave me away.
Kenanâs smirk widened as he leaned down over me, one hand resting on the mattress beside my head. âJust alright?â he murmured, his breath hot against my ear, sending a shiver down my spine.
âYeah,â I teased, my heart skipping a beat as he brought his lips closer to mine. âBut you really took your time in there.â
âMaybe I was trying to look good for you,â he said softly, brushing his lips over mine in a quick peck.
I let out a small, satisfied hum, intending to sit up and head to the door, but Kenan had other ideas. He caught my chin between his fingers, tilting my face back toward him.
Another kissâslower this time, his lips lingering on mine like he was savoring the taste.
I sighed into the kiss, melting under his touch as he deepened it, turning what was supposed to be a quick peck into something that had my toes curling.
The kisses came one after another, each one slower, more drawn out than the last. Kenanâs hands slid around my waist, pulling me flush against him as he tilted his head, capturing my lips in a passionate kiss that left me breathless.
It was the kind of kiss that made the world outside fade away, the kind that made me forget about dinner reservations and everything else.
âMmm,â Kenan hummed against my mouth, his hands sliding down to rest on my hips. âMaybe we should just stay in tonightâŚâ He mumbled the words between kisses, his voice husky and warm.
I let out a breathless laugh, pushing lightly at his chest even as I felt myself giving in to the way his fingers traced circles against my skin. âKenan,â I protested weakly, but he only kissed me again, his lips finding that spot just below my ear that made my knees go weak.
âSeriously,â he whispered, his lips brushing my ear, âI donât think I can leave this room now.â
As much as I wanted to just melt into his embrace and forget all about dinner, I knew weâd regret missing it. I placed a hand on his cheek, pulling back just enough to look into his darkened eyes.
âWe have a reservation,â I reminded him, though it came out in a breathless whisper.
Kenan groaned dramatically, leaning his forehead against mine. âWho cares about food when Iâve got you right here?â
I laughed, gently detangling myself from his hold and stepping back. âWe can come back here after dinner,â I promised, giving him a cheeky grin. âBut first, we eat.â
He gave me that adorable pout, but there was a glint in his eyes that told me he wasnât giving up that easily. âFine,â he sighed, grabbing my hand as I started toward the door. âBut you owe me dessert when we get back.â
âThat can be arranged,â I said, my heart fluttering at the way he looked at me like I was the only thing in the world that mattered.
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My Lover - lh43
Summary- Lover by Taylor Swift- Luke Hughes addition
Dani's thoughts- HOLY COW MY FIRST EVER TIME WRITING PLS BE NICE
warnings - one freaky man
Thereâs a dazzling haze, a mysterious way about you dear
Luke can remember the day he and you met like it was yesterday. It was one of those cliche moments where the pair bumps into each other, spilling coffee on each other. In this case, Luke was late to hockey practice, and you were late to meet your friends. As you went to exit the cafe, Luke was trying to enter. Both of you were looking down at your phones, disassociating yourself from the world.
âShit!â Luke said as he walked into you, your coffee spilling on his shirt. You immediately looked up, wanting to know who you spilled your coffee on. Looking up at Luke your eyes met, and you both stopped for a moment. You looked at his grayish-blue eyes, immediately getting lost in them. You quickly snapped yourself out of it.
âOh my! I am really so sorry!â you said, grabbing napkins from the side table. âShoot, stand still I-â you said, panicking to get Lukeâs shirt as clean as possible.
âIt's fine it's fine I swear,â Luke started, âit's not the end of the world, just a shirt. And I wasn't even looking so it's my fault.â. You looked up at Luke confusingly, wondering how he was so calm and caught you in such a dazzling haze.
âNo! I was the one not looking, I should have been careful I had coffee!â you finally got out, so confused as to why Luke pinned the blame to you. Luke shook his head and sighed,Â
âOkay okay, can I buy you a coffee at least? To make up for this mess?â.Â
âI- er- fineâ you finally gave in, not wanting to protest and make yourself anymore late. Plus, there was a mysterious way about him that pulled you in.
Have I known you 20 seconds or 20 years?
After you and Luke bumped into each other, you hung out ever since. Months into the friend phase, you and Luke finally went on your first date. Instead of going to a fancy restaurant, or somewhere public, you went on a quiet picnic in the park with him, just how you liked it. As you and Luke got to the park, Luke pulled out a blanket, placing it down before sitting down with you. Then, he pulled out the food from the basket, placing them in front of the two of you.
âLuke, how did you know these were my favorite?â you asked him, grabbing the food he sat down in front of you.Â
âMhh, I just knewâ Luke responded, a little embarrassed that you pointed this out.
âAwhh Lukey thank you.â You then said, hugging him as best as you could with a basket in the middle of you guys while you sat. As you ate your food, and enjoyed your time with Luke, you couldnât help but think âeven though you have known him for 2 months, has it actually been 2 years? I mean he knows you so well.â.
We could let our friends crash in the living roomÂ
This is our place, we make the call
Even though you enjoyed your quiet days in, every once in a while you would go out with Luke. This was one of those nights. You had just watched the Devils play a hard game that went into shootouts, and they thankfully won. As a celebration of the team's hard work, they all decided to go out together. That's how you ended up at a random bar full of devil players and their WAGS. Usually you have a couple drinks with Luke, but you got convinced by his brother, Jack, to do shots. And when you get started, good luck stopping you. You were on your 5th, 8th, 10th shot? You didnât know at this point. You were having a good time dancing on the dance floor while Luke watched over you. Eventually, you got to the point where if you had another shot, you might pass out.
âLu do we need to go? I was havinâ fun!â you exclaimed as Luke wrapped his arm around your waist, supporting you as you walked.Â
âI bet you were sweetheart, but you are barely able to stand.â Luke explained to you as he gently guided you out of the bar, into the street. When you walked into the cold air, you were welcomed by Lukeâs brother and two other teammates, equally as drunk as you.
âLukey boy! Finally we were waiting for you! Are you gonna call the uber?â Jack asked, wrapping his arm around Lukeâs shoulders.
âYeah yeahâ Luke answered, pushing Jackâs arm off his shoulders, then grabbing his phone and quickly ordering an uber for the group.Â
When the uber finally arrived at you and Lukeâs shared apartment, everyone got out, somehow managing to make their way up the stairs, to the apartment door.
âGuys, I need to get by, I need to unlock the door.â Luke tried to explain to the drunk people standing in front of him, lighting pushing his way through the crowd. Eventually, Luke managed to unlock the door, allowing everyone else to barrel their way inside.Â
âGuys, Iâm not sure you want to stay here, I can call you an uber or-â Luke tried to persuade Jack and his friends, not wanting them to stay in the apartment.
âLu, shhhh,â you started, âwe could let our friends crash in the living room. This is our place, we make the call.â you said as you kissed him lightly, looking back at the three people in the living room, already passed out on the couch.
And Iâm highly suspicious that everyone who sees you wants you
Normally dating a man, you wouldnât be insecure when women try to go after your man. You know that if he was loyal to you, he wouldnât cheat on you. But, now that you date a popular hockey player, you find yourself feeling insecure. You know you shouldnât feel this way, Luke is the most loyal boyfriend you have ever had, but still, the insecurities seep into your brain.
As you were waiting for Luke to come out of the changing room after his game, you watched the girls gather around the barriers. Luke, looking exhausted, walked out of the room, his eyes searching for you. When his eyes met yours, you could see how his eyes lit up, immediately smiling. Instead of talking to the girls who waited for him, and signing their jerseys, he made his way directly to you. The screaming and squealing of the random girls got drowned out by Luke pulling you into a hug and telling you how much he missed you.
âIâm so glad you were here to see me today.â Luke murmured in your ear, pulling you in closer, if that was even possible.
âOf course lu.â you responded, melting into his hug.Â
âLet's get out of here, I want to get home.â Luke said, letting go of you and grabbing your hand instead. You nodded, agreeing with him, the sound of the girls screaming giving you a slight headache.
And at every table, i'll save you a seat, lover
You got invited to a friend's birthday party at her house. It was a smallish get together, with maybe 20-30 ish people. You arrived early to the party, getting ready with your friends before the party started. Luke was supposed to get to the party on time, but he was a little late.
âIs anyone sitting here?â a man asked, motioning to the chair that was empty next to you.
âYeah my boyfriend is going to be here.â you responded, not interested in the man bugging you.
âWell I donât see himâ he retorted.Â
âWell yeah, I'm saving him a seat.â you told the man, as if it wasnât obvious.Â
âWell until he gets here, maybe I can keep you company?â You didnât understand how a man couldnât take a hint. Then as if God heard your prayers, Luke finally arrived.
âHey angel,â Luke kissed the top of your head, âwho's this?âÂ
âI dunnoâ you shrugged your shoulders.
âOh- I- sorry man, i'll leave you guys aloneâ the man finally responded, backing away, leaving the two of you alone. You sighed in relief, glad the man was finally leaving you alone, and not bugging you any longer.
âSorry I was late, I got stuck in traffic.â Luke explained why he was late.Â
âItâs fine, wanna get something to eat now?â you asked, as your stomach growled. Luke laughed and nodded his head,
âLet's get you something to eat.â.
Darling, youâre my, my, my, my, Lover
You found yourself standing in the middle of their living room, watching Luke through the kitchen doorway. He was humming softly to himself as he stirred something on the stove, completely unaware of you watching him.
âDo you need help with that?â you asked, breaking the silence between them. Luke glanced over his shoulder, his face lighting up with a grin.
âNope, Iâve got it,â he said, his voice warm and easy, âWhy donât you just relax? Iâve got dinner covered tonight.â You crossed the room and leaned against the kitchen counter, folding your arms across your chest. You watched as Luke finished stirring and reached for the wine glasses on the counter. The way he moved, so confident and comfortable in their space, made you feel like you were right where you belonged. With Luke.
The world outside was distant now, nothing mattered but the quiet rhythm of their hearts, beating in sync as they sat there, tangled together in the warmth of their love. For you, it was in these simple moments with Luke that everything felt right. The rest of the world could wait.
"You're my everything," Luke said, his voice barely audible, like he was sharing a secret with you.
You smiled, your heart full.Â
âAlways,â you replied, your voice steady, your fingers tracing gentle patterns on Lukeâs hand.
âAlways,â Luke echoed, his lips finding yours in a soft kiss.
word count- 1876
#dani writes ᥣđŠ#luke hughes#luke hughes x reader#NJ devils#nj devils x reader#new jersey devils x reader
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Elizabeth Warren for Time Magazine:
To everyone who feels like their heart has been ripped out of their chest, I feel the same. To everyone who is afraid of what happens next, I share your fears. But what we do next is important, and I need you in this fight with me. As we confront a second Donald Trump presidency, we have two tasks ahead. First, try to learn from what happened. And then, make a plan.
Many political experts and D.C. insiders are already blaming President Joe Bidenâs economic agenda for Vice President Kamala Harrisâ loss. This does not stand up to scrutiny. Even though the Biden economy produced strong economic growth while reining in inflation, incumbent parties across the globe have been tossed out by voters after the pandemic. American voters also showed support for Democratic economic policies, for example, approving ballot initiatives to raise the minimum wage in Alaska and to guarantee paid sick leave in Missouri.
[...] What comes next? Trump won the election, but more than 67 million people voted for Democrats and they donât expect us to roll over and play dead. We will have a peaceful transition of power, followed by a vigorous challenge from the party out of power, because thatâs how democracy works. Hereâs a path forward.
First, fight every fight in Congress.
We wonât always win, but we can slow or sometimes limit Trumpâs destruction. With every fight, we can build political power to put more checks on his administration and build the foundation for future wins. Remember that during the first Trump term, mass mobilizationâincluding some of the largest peaceful protests in world historyâwas the battery that charged the resistance. There is power in solidarity, and we canât win if we donât get in the fight. During the Trump years, Congress stepped up its oversight of his unprecedented corruption and abuses of power. In the Senate, Democrats gave no quarter to radical Trump nominees; we asked tough questions and held the Senate floor for hours to slow down confirmation and expose Republican extremism. These tactics doomed some nominations entirely, laid the groundwork for other cabinet officials to later resign in disgrace, and brought scrutiny that somewhat constrained Trumpâs efforts.
When all this work came together, we won some of the toughest fights. Remember Republicansâ attempts to repeal the Affordable Care Act? Democrats did not have the votes to stop the repeal. Nevertheless, we fought on. Patients kept up a relentless rotation of meetings in Congress, activists in wheelchairs performed civil disobedience, and lawmakers used every tactic possibleâlate night speeches, forums highlighting patient stories, committee reports, and procedural tacticsâto draw attention to the Republican repeal effort. This sustained resistance ultimately shifted the politics of health care repeal. The final vote was a squeaker, but Republicans lost and the ACA survived.
Democrats should also acknowledge that seeking a middle ground with a man who calls immigrants âanimalsâ and says he will âprotectâ women âwhether the women like it or notâ is unlikely to land in a good place. Uniting against Trumpâs legislative agenda is good politics because it is good policy. It was Democratic opposition to Trumpâs tax bill that drove Trumpâs approval ratings to what was then the lowest levels of his administration, forcing Republicans to scrap all mention of the law ahead of the 2018 midterm election and helping spark one of the largest blue waves in recent history.
Second, fight Trump in the courts.
Yes, extremist courts, including a Supreme Court stocked with MAGA loyalists, are poised to rubber-stamp Trumpâs lawlessness. But litigation can slow Trump down, give us time to prepare and help the vulnerable, and deliver some victories.
Third, focus on what each of us can do.
I understand my assignment in the Senate, but we all have a part to play. During the first Trump administration, Democrats vigorously contested every special election and laid the groundwork to take back the House in the 2018 midterms, creating a powerful check on Trump and breaking the Republican trifecta. Whether itâs stepping up to run for office, supporting a neighborâs campaign, or getting involved in an organization taking action, we all have to continue to make investments in our democracyâincluding in states that are passed over as âtoo red.â The political position weâre in is not permanent, and we have the power to make change if we fight for it.
Finally, Democrats currently in office must work with urgency.
While still in charge of the Senate and the White House, we must do all we can to safeguard our democracy. To resist Trumpâs threats to abuse state power against what he calls âthe enemy within,â Pentagon leaders should issue a directive now reiterating that the militaryâs oath is to the Constitution. Senate Majority Leader Chuck Schumer must use every minute of the end-of-year legislative session to confirm federal judges and key regulatorsânone of whom can be removed by the next President. To those feeling despair: I understand. But remember, every step toward progress in American history came after the darkness of defeat. Abolitionists, suffragettes, Dreamers, and marchers for civil rights and marriage equality all faced impossible odds, but they persisted. Now it is our turn to pull up our socks and get back in the fight.
Elizabeth Warren wrote a well-written op-ed in Time encouraging Senate Democrats to confirm loads of judges and other jobs requiring Senate confirmation while we still have the majority and also fight back against the Trump tyranny.
#OpEds#Biden Administration#Time Magazine#Elizabeth Warren#Judicial Confirmations#118th Congress#2024 Presidential Election#2024 Elections#Judiciary
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Late game spoilers, particulary about Varric! I wasn't able to put this into words before, but now that I've had some time, I think I can actually talk about it. It's a little long though.
I tried to start a new playthrough three times now, but I can't even make it to the ritual side without breaking down. It is, frankly, embarrassing.
But Varric means so, so much to me. I knew deep down that he wouldn't make it out of this alive - that he even survived past DA2 was a surprise to me. The man's got tragic death written all over him! But I still wish we had gotten some more out of him. Some more interactions with the companions, more banter, more relationship dynamics. We never even found out what he would have called the others! (Aside from Neve, who was 'Slick', apparently.)
This isn't even a criticism of the writing! I think it makes sense and fits his character, sadly. (Though it's also the first time they actually managed to make me hate Solas, which is quite a feat.) It's just me being heartbroken about one of - or maybe even my ultimate - comfort character. I played DA2 (and the others, too, but DA2 holds a special place in my heart in this regard) during a time in my life where I was very much just... lost, I guess. God. I think I actually felt physical fucking grief when I went through the Fade prison scene? I was shaking and sobbing the whole time and I don't know if I have it in me again.
I'm a bookseller by trade and Varric loving stories always resonated with me. He's often reduced to being the sarcastic sidekick, but I love all his aspects and complexities so very dearly.
The son who didn't ever quite fit in with the society he grew up in, who couldn't hold up to his parents expectations and so instead refused to be tied down by them, but still had a deep love for his family.
The man who was so tragically in love with a woman he couldn't have that he made her his little secret, keeping Bianca's identity even from his best friends. Who probably still didn't let go of his yearning all those years later, maybe because it was easier than opening up and getting hurt again.
The one who was always bickering with Cassandra, this steely woman he was always at odds with, but still wrote her a continuation for his romance series he didn't even think was good because beneath all of his veneer, he still cared.
Who was presented with this half-spirit half-boy and saw just a squirrely kid who needed some help to find his place in the world. (And yeah, this is special to me. Because god damn it, I never had someone like that growing up, and I would have given all my limbs and a kidney for it.)
Who was so, so full of compassion himself, despite all the shit the world had already thrown at him.
I don't know. Maybe I just have a thing for people who try to lock their hurt away so not even they, themselves, have to confront it. (Maybe because I'm a little like that myself and maybe that's why I like Lucanis so much, as well. Damn you, Mary Kirby.)
But anyway. Sorry for the vent. I just needed someplace to share this, I guess. I don't know what to do with this hole in my chest, but props to Bioware (and damn you again, Mary Kirby) for putting it there, because it's definitely not normal for me to care this much. I wasn't even this sad when I had to leave my Hawke in the Fade. Maybe they'll finally find each other again, wherever they are now đ
#anyway i'm sorry this got so personal#but i don't think i'll ever be able to look at this man through a neutral lense#he means so much to me#and not just because i wished they'd let me romance him#he's so much more than that#i'll go back to crying now#thanks for reading this if you did#varric tethras#dragon age the veilguard#dragon age the veilguard spoilers#datv spoilers#veilguard spoilers#dav spoilers#dragon age 2#god i'll probably delete this later it's so embarrassing#i was supposed to just simp for the hot assassin!!
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SUGAR-DADDY!TAEHYUNG who spends summer days at a lake with you. the tranquility of nature was enough to make Taehyung feel completely relaxed. adding you as company only improved his entire experience. when the days started to get longer and the heat was suffocating, Taehyung would always ask if you wanted to forget the world. âletâs run away,â he used to say. âletâs run away and forget all our responsibilities. just me and you. away from everything that holds us back and hurts us.â and you accepted, you always accepted. partly, you accepted it because you knew it would make Taehyung happy â that was what you had agreed upon; but there was also a part of you that accepted it because you knew that those days, away from everything that distressed and hurt you, were the closest you would get to heaven.
SUGAR-DADDY!TAEHYUNG who takes you to balls all over the world. Taehyung was a devoted fan of that mystical magic that surrounds fairy tales. there was something in that divine hope that held Taehyung and made him want to dream. as such, he just wanted to try to recreate the enchantment he felt whenever he heard or read a more fanciful story â and the best way to reproduce all that magic was by going to small, beautiful dances. Taehyung didnât care about dates or places or themes â it was all irrelevant. all he wanted was to know what time he should pick you up so you could spend an endless night in each otherâs arms. of course, having already experienced a considerable number of dances Taehyung had a favorite: on the warmest spring nights, when the birds began to learn the symphony of joy and all the stars created sketches of enchanted stories, Taehyung liked giving himself to you. always keeping you close to him, holding your waist as if the secrets of the cosmos were in his hands, looking at you with the radiance stolen from the most romantic gods, Taehyung liked those spring dances, for it was in them that all the celestial magic covered you in a tenuous cloak of dreams. âthere will be a masquerade ball this summer. do you want to go with me? we can have clothes made to match your favorite color.â
SUGAR-DADDY!TAEHYUNG who asks you to sleep there more often than he should. yes, Taehyung knew you had a meeting early tomorrow. he also knew that all your clothes were in your house. and yes, it was obvious he knew you couldnât sleep comfortably without your pillow. but, did you know? did you know how much your presence calmed Taehyung? did you know how your words were the only ones that could lull Taehyung into a deep sleep? did you know that without you Taehyung simply couldnât have a good night? so if you knew, why donât you just stay there with him? in his bed? being wrapped in his nervous arms as he whispered to you how grateful he was that you made this effort for him â why did you want to abandon him? âjust tonight, please. iâll take you to work tomorrow and you can sleep with me a little longer. it wonât do you any harm. you know how much i enjoy being here with you.â
SUGAR-DADDY!TAEHYUNG who can get you into any event. Taehyung didnât know the meaning of the word âimpossibleâ when it was about you. you were a special person, someone who had a certain charm and was capable of molding the entire universe in your image if you wanted it â Taehyung just had to pamper you. you being the owner of all the celestial dust that enchanted the world and made Taehyung a real person, only made he use his influence as his thanks. fashion shows, autograph sessions, gallery openings, anything you wanted â Taehyung knew you better than anyone, he knew where you liked to go, what you liked to do. always accompanying you, getting lost in your wide smile and the way your eyes sparkled when you saw something you really liked, Taehyung took you to experience the world; there was no experience that left you curious, there was nothing forbidden for you. everything you wanted was yours long before you asked for it. âdonât hide anything from me. all i want is to keep you happy in this relationship. and if i have the possibility of increasing this happiness, just tell me. itâs everything to me. you are everything to me.â
SUGAR-DADDY!TAEHYUNG who gives you a black card to spend on your birthday. on every birthday of yours you woke up with a bouquet of flowers and an envelope addressed to you â Taehyung did everything he could to make sure the first thing you saw on your birthday was that little gift from him, so you could try to understand how much you meant to him. the flowers you received were always the same, your favorites in your favorite colors, wrapped in paper sprayed with Taehyungâs perfume; the envelope, however, the envelope was the real gift. a small, white card came signed in Taehyungâs handwriting and next to it was Taehyungâs black card. on that day of yours, not as different as the others, but more special to you, Taehyung would give you the opportunity to go shopping alone or with your friends and spend as much as you could. it was always the same gift, always the same card, always the same ritual â but for you, it was everything. âhappy birthday, darling. have fun during the day, and donât forget that this night you are mine. xxâ
SUGAR-DADDY!TAEHYUNG who likes it when you wear the clothes and jewelry he gave you when youâre not with him. Taehyung liked to give you gifts; it was always charming to see your curious eyes opening the bags or boxes, your smile painting Taehyungâs dreams. as such, Taehyung offered you everything: shoes, coats, necklaces, even the groceries for your home â anything that could be bought could very well be offered to you. but of everything he gives you, of seeing you happy with so many things, he would have to confess that when you went out to have fun or relax and use something he offered, Taehyungâs heart smiled a little more. it may seem strange, maybe even childish, but when Taehyung knew that you were walking around the city showing off the clothes and necklaces he had given you at the beginning of your relationship, he felt closer to you, you felt closer to him. seeing you in those clothes when you didnât have anything planned with him made Taehyung believe that your relationship could very well turn out to be something more. âi saw your instagram story and i just want to say iâm glad youâre still wearing those boots. they look good on you. you look good with everything, but yea. i called just to tell you that.â
SUGAR-DADDY!TAEHYUNG who kisses you under the eiffel tower. on your longer trips, when neither of you needed to worry about dates and deadlines, Taehyung liked to take you to Paris. it was in the magic of that city that Taehyung hoped your love would blossom. it was in the beauty of that city that Taehyung fell even more in love with you. and it was in the hope of that city that Taehyung declared himself to you again and again and again. under the stars, in the endless nights of aimless stars, Taehyung kissed you. once. and another. and another. and another. he didnât need to say anything, there was no need for that â Taehyung just had to gently hold your waist for you to understand what he wanted, what he would do. they were tender kisses that covered your heart with security and comfort, small confessions of love that would forever remain embedded in your soul. and only this magic happened in Paris â until he finds the courage to recreate it at home.
#!BTS bouquetęąâËá°.#taehyung#kim taehyung#kim taehyung x reader#kim taehyung fic recs#taehyung fanfic#taehyung fanfiction#bts fanfction#taehyung fluff#taehyung x reader#taehyung oneshot#taehyung drabble#taehyung fic#taehyung x you#taehyung bts#v x reader#tae x reader#tae bts#taehyung smut#bts smut#tae smut
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Hey! I'd love to hear your thoughts (and your readers' too!) or, if you'd like, your headcanon for what John and Paul's friendship/relationship/situationship might have looked like in the 80s if John hadnât been murdered.
The more I listen to Paul's 70s discography, the more I feel just how much he seemed to miss John, and things didnât seem to be getting easier as the decade came to a close. We know that songs like Now and Then and Real Love offer a glimpse into John's feelings, and there was clearly a sense of him missing Paul back.
So, do you have any headcanon about what could have been between them in that decade?
This is such a fascinating ask. Thank you.
I recently listened to McCartney II again, and also to Double Fantasy and Milk and Honey. And it struck me how alive and creative both of them wereâand it made me think of their planned studio/writing date in January '81, which didn't happen.
What could their relationship have looked like, if John had lived? On the creative/musical level, I'm torn. Yes, they were Lennon and McCartney, and each of them was at a peak individuallyâsurely they would have done great things together? But then I think of John describing the "Toot & A Snore" session, and how everyone was staring at him and Paul in the studio. Yes, they could have met in secret to writeâbut at some point, they would have had to share their new songs with the public. And I can totally imagine a situation where the public would have said, 'no thanks,' with only us, now, realizing how good their first album together actually wasâŚ(a la Ram)...and maybe they would have stopped after that...or wait: Paul would not have let them stop. :-)
In my mind, I'm fond of the idea of them collaborating and writing together, with space for each of them to do their own thing, provided they still enjoyed it and were happy with the results. It's impossible to say if that would have been the case. But in some weird way, I can't imagine them becoming friends (and more?) again without also enjoying writing together. Given the drama that played out via the press in the 70âs, neither of them cared about endless questions about the past, or the burden of being Lennon/McCartney. So perhaps...they would have written together under a pseudonym?! All their lives? Until this very day? Love that thought. (Didn't John have a tour planned with Double Fantasy? For some reason, I'm not really thinking about them forming a band again, or touring together in a systematic way.)
As for their friendship/relationship/situationshipâGod Only Knows what the fic writer in me would have wanted for them! :-)
All I can say is that I can't imagine a sustained, fruitful musical/songwriting collaboration without imagining them being genuinely close again. I'm not trying to avoid the 'lovers' question; I think what I said would be true regardless of the degree of canoodling: I don't think they would have written together again without being fond of, and enjoying, each other. The fact that they apparently planned studio time together before John died, suggests that the curiosity (hope?) was there.
I don't think they would have written masterpieces on the level of the Beatles, had they started writing again. But I'm only saying that because my imagination is more limited than their talent.
I think their relationship in the late 70's is difficult to gauge, and I tend to avoid that time period, because, knowing what will happen to John, it makes me sad. Musically they were in a good place in â79/â80. But maybe, if they had met and tried to write again, they would have concluded that they were worlds apart, and that would have been that.
But maybe they would have started to co-headline certain festivals? And always been *aware* of each other?!
And you know whatâ there was a kinkmeme prompt once, or was it a prompt for the Summer of Love fic-a-thon? Where John Lennon lives, and is going to bat for Paul and Broad Street when it's panned by the critics. I know Paul wouldn't have made GMRTBS with John alive, but he would have been panned for something, and guess who would have come out in his defense? Regardless of shared credits and secret or spouse-endorsed canoodling? Jooooohhhhhnnnnn.
That's the kind of scenario that makes me happy.
I hope this is giving you something. I would love to hear your thoughts, too, @therealsaintscully!
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Obviously, I'll get back to Star Wars posting at some point, but if I can offer a few thoughts here as I work through my grief and anger:
We can debate until we're blue in the face whose fault it is for this. But at the end of the day, the issue is 70M people chose fascism for whatever reason, be it they don't understand the economy, that they're bigots, what have you. They were ok with what Trump stands for if not openly welcoming of it, and that is the problem.
This shit is gonna suck. It's gonna be hard. We are not going to win every fight. We are going to lose a lot. But that doesn't mean we shouldn't try.
FIND AND BUILD COMMUNITY. And I'm not just talking about activism (although that is important). But you're going to need people to get through this. Find YOUR people. Ones that remind you that there's good in the world on the darkest days. People that will mourn with you, that will fight with you, and when it comes, experience joy with you.
FIND JOY. I saw a Bluesky thread today that talked about how important it's going to be to find little moments of joy, whatever they are. Take a walk to your favorite park. Look up at the moon. Eat good food with friends. Those little moments of joy are going to keep you going during this fight. They are necessary. Please make time for them and don't feel guilt for having them.
FIND A WAY TO GET INVOLVED. There are mutual aid funds, local political movements, abortion funds, volunteer positions at the local library, etc. SHOW UP in whatever ways you can when you can. There are so many options. Figure out what's available to you locally, and if you have the means to donate to places that will be impacted most harshly (red states, poor communities, etc.), then please do so.
TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF. This is going to be a marathon, not a sprint. As someone that has already lived through one Trump presidency, I offer this: do not engage with every dark moment. You're going to feel like you have to stay outraged and engaged with everything he does. You can't. It's too much. Especially this time. You need to pick a few issues that you feel you can have the most impact on, and you need to stay in those fights. If you have the energy to do more some days, then do it. But do not fall into the habit of doomscrolling and feeling helpless about things you could not change. Do what you can. Rest. Stay hydrated. Keep going.
Fascism is fragile. We will break it. It may take a long while, but we will win. But in order to do so, you have to make sure it doesn't break you first.
It is going to be hard. There is no denying that. There are going to be days that feel so incredibly bleak that you can't get out of bed. But that doesn't mean we give up. Reach out to one another. Take care of each other. Take care of yourselves.
We have a few months to figure out how we can best help each other and contribute to the fight. Speaking specifically as part of the Star Wars fandom, I feel like we're uniquely prepared for this, as cheesy as that may sound (but fuck it, I need cheesy right now). We live for the stories of everyday people rising up against an overpowered fascist empire. We get to be those fucking people now. So take time to grieve and get your head right. And then get back up and let's fucking do this.
#karrde thoughts#i'm still working through a lot of emotions#but I was raised on mister rogers#and he talked about looking for the helpers when times are dark#so i'm gonna be a helper#and a problem for fascists#we cannot give up#if we do they fucking win#doomerism gets blocked#because I am not in the mood for giving up when my family and friends are threatened#us politics
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hiii, can i request something with Madison Beer?
The reputation the proceeds you had Madison a little more worried than she liked to let on.
Reputation; Madison Beer/Fem!Reader
Content: 2nd POV. College AU, kind of bimbo!reader, themes of slut-shaming (very brief), Madison and reader are roommates, teasing, fingering (reader receiving), oral sex (reader receiving).
Y/n.
A name that was known around campus and in the mouths of many people (and in more ways than one for some people).
You weren't sure when you amassed such a reputation, it seemed like it happened overnight, but you were well aware of what people thought of you. It wasn't necessarily a secret that some considered you a slut and even a bimbo in some cases. There were nasty rumors that you only made it to your senior year of college because you slept your way to better grades. What they say should bother you, but it just doesn't hurt as much as others would think. You go out, you party, and you have an occasional hook-up; nothing more, nothing less. Maybe someone just didn't like you and decided from that day on that you were the girl who will hook-up with anyone.
Madison prides herself on being non-judgemental, which is why she accepted your offer to be roommates in the college apartments for your senior year. You knew of her just as much as she knew of you, only in passing and through what others have said about each of you. She was a sweet girl, got good grades, dated the start football player, and is on the dance team. She was such a cliche and it surprised you that she didn't mind rooming with the "campus whore."
After a few emails going back and forth to get to know each other and one coffee date, it was time to move-in before the semester started. She grew to learn that you were quieter than people proclaimed, but nothing about your outfit screamed nice, quiet girl. Who decides to wear a short, pink dress to move-in into an apartment? At times she swore she could see your ass cheeks and that you weren't wearing any panties. You bopped around the apartment, so happy for a taste of responsibility and privacy that an apartment grants.
"Imagine the parties we could have here. We don't have to go to those nasty frat houses to have fun anymore!"
You were more concerned with the idea of an apartment party than unpacking your stuff. Madison felt a little awkward responding to you as you two weren't that close yet. However, she did like the idea of partying at the apartment compared to the frat houses. It would be much safer and calmer to have a few people over instead of those drug and alcohol fueled ragers. The fact that you two were on the same page about the type of parties you enjoyed more was surprising to her. In fact there was more common ground between the two of you than either expected.
"But, I'd rather stay in and hang out with my roomie anyway."
Madison doesn't know if you're flirting with her when you wink at her or if you're just like that. You've done something like that a few times before and it makes her brain short-circuit. Where people saw a bimbo, she saw a confident girl. Even after people talked shit about you, you still showed up to the places they would be like you didn't have a care in the world.
"So, what should we do for our first night together?"
Two white claws and one rom-com later, and Madison was feeling the buzz. She wasn't drunk, but she was half-way to tipsy and she felt so good. She was enjoying your company more than she expected. You two were clad in pajamas and face masks. After your last round of roommates were either rude to you or disgusting, Madison was a breath of fresh air. And she was really pretty to look at. Now that time was slowing down and you got a good look at her, she might be the most gorgeous girl on campus. It stirred something inside, that needed to have what you wanted. The last thing you want to do is scare her off though.
"You sure you don't want to go out tonight?" You ask, just to test the waters a little bit. "There's supposed to be a senior bonfire around 11 o'clock."
"I'm in no state to go out. Besides, I like being here with you and getting to know you."
She leans in a little to you and it feels like she's insinuating something. You could be seeing things a little hazy thanks to the drinks you had, but you of all people know what the look in Madison's eyes mean.
"I like getting to know you too. I like that you don't judge me."
"I'm not that kind of person.â
The softness of her voice, and the ghosting of her fingers against your thighs, gives the game away. She wants you.
"Can I ask you a question Madi," emphasis on the nickname
"Sure"
"Do you believe the rumors about me?'
"no"
"Would you change your mind if I told you I'm so fucking horny right now."
Madison is at a loss for words, but this is what she wanted. She smiles and leans into you before capturing your lips. Soon the movie on TV becomes forgotten and you two are making out. You expected that you would be the one to raise the temperature, but Madison was groping your tits before you could even touch her. She was popular, but you always viewed her as more reserved. Right now sheâs groping you the same way a drunk frat boy would expect you to welcome her advances much more.Â
âCan you spread your legs for me?â
Madison was on a little bit of a power trip when you began to respond to her so quickly. Your nightgown rides up as your legs part for her and you expose your pussy. She would never judge, but it was just amazing to her that she was able to crack you open without much effort. She rubbed small circles into your clit just to feel how wet you were and you were dripping. You were wet enough for her to slide not one, not two, but three fingers into your pussy.
âFuck Madi!â You cried and bit into your bottom lip. You looked up at her while she stared at your pussy opening up to take her fingers.
You pull on the top of your gown to expose your tits. You grope them just like Madison did earlier but you also play with your hard nipples. You give them a squeeze when Madisonâs fingers curl inside of you and hit your sweet spot. Her thumb presses into your sensitive clit and rubs into it while fingering you. With her other hand she grabs a hold of your face and makes you face her. She captures your lips again and your kiss is fueled with absolute lust. She was just having so much fun seeing how she could overwhelm you with desire. You let her use you despite not even knowing her personally for more than 24 hours. You wonder if this would be an everyday thing for you two; Madison pleasing you and wanting to see how true the rumors about you were. It excites you thinking about being used everyday in the privacy of your own apartment, you wonât need to go to another campus party again.
Madison felt like it would be impossible to pull her fingers out of your cunt. It was warm, wet, and kept pulling her fingers in deeper. If you feel good she can imagine just how good you taste as well. She reluctantly pulls out of you to be met with you whimpering at the emptiness. However you really felt the magic when she got between your legs and worked her tongue into your pussy. Her tongue was trained on your clit and every so often she would wrap her lips around the sensitive nub. You wanted to scream out so loud, but you werenât sure how thick these apartment walls were. Instead you bit into your bottom lip and hummed while she ate your pussy. You were surprised by how into it she was but the taste of your arousal flowing onto her thumb was egging her on. She now understands why some of these boys on campus go crazy for you, but tasting you only made her want you for herself. Her boyfriend be damned, he would have to understand that Madison canât keep her mouth off of her roommates pretty little cunt.
âIâm gonna cum Madi!â
Your voice sounds so sweet to her as you whimper and pant from the pleasure. You held onto the back of her head and buried her face deeper into your cunt. This was turning her on so much that Madison canât help but shove her hands into her pants and finger her wet pussy. Your juices still remained on her fingers and mixed in her pussy with her own juices. Your legs were shaking from her skilled tongue dancing over your clit until you were cumming against her mouth. Madison didnât care how loud your whimpers began to grow or that you were starting to become sensitive, she kept licking you out until she was satisfied and had enough. She cleaned up the juices running down your ass, savoring each drop.
When she pulls away she looks up at you and smirks. You lean down and your lips meet once again for the night. The taste of yourself on her lips is the hottest thing youâve experienced in months, and youâve tasted yourself plenty of times. You canât help but wonder if Madison accepted your roommate request just to be able to have this from time to time.
âYou should be used to this by now, but look how youâre shaking for me.â
Madison draws a line up your thigh with her finger. Her touch made you shiver and you swear youâve never been like this for someone in your life.Â
#madison beer x reader#madison beer smut#f/f#f/f smut#f/f fanfic#smut#blurb#lesbian fanfic#lesbian smut#celeb smut
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For my birthday maybe you could
do a good deed to a stranger even if it is small; pass on a good deed that was done to you
donate to a charity supporting trans youth, victims of domestic violence, refugees, or palestine
pitch your favorite, most formative book to me
#personal#or yknow#draw me solas and solavellan uwu#but for real my bus driver and i had such a lovely heartwarming convo about passing on good deeds#buying something at the grocery store for someone who was about to get caught shoplifting#going into target to grab an unhoused person a package of bottled waters#yknow#things she and i see frequently and do as often as we can#the world can be a good place when we care for each other#so yeah#spread the love or show me something that taught you how to love
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being like 5â2â - 5â4â is so attractive to me like omg ur head fits right under my chin and right in my tits âĄâ let me hold you. i love being a tall girl
#im not picky about height. i do have a preference for shorter ppl tho đ#i just like being bigger hehe. like augh i love how u fit in my arms i love how i curl around u when we spoon i can hold u so close#im basically a giant teddy bear that holds u back n keeps u cozy. but also being small means ur so easy to fold n toss around đŠđ#i want to be big and comfy like.. my arms r always a good place to relax đđžââď¸#we can trade places sometimesâ i won't say no đđ but i wanna take care of you đđ§đžââď¸ this is already fulfilling for me#literally the most peaceful thing in the world#also luv to lean down or get on my knees sometimes for someone shorter than me. i am a hugger i am wrapping my arms#around ur waist and squeezing us together (but not too much). i enjoy being pressed against each other#having to hug someone over the shoulders out of convenience is always like nooo i give really good hugs i promise#lost the plot here folks.. this is a short person appreciation post ⥠â that was very hot of you#my easily excitable heart thanks u đ im so drawn to u like waow đđžđđž hi#god..
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slightly disappointed - just slightly - that they didn't include fischl in the windblume event because she would fit the legend/fairytale category of the charade so much?!
#how did they not remember the person that actually lives in one?#logically it would make sense okay đ#i hope we get to see the other mondstadt characters even for a second at the end#jean barbara fischl kaeya diona and diluc the excluded ones âď¸#like i don't care about timmaeus and his crush sorry give me characters i care about (mona was so real for interrupting him yes queen <3)#okay sorry timmaeus i hope you succeed in romancing her đ#i think you're a great addition to the synthesis thingie when i need to make materials the game wouldn't be the same without you đ#on another note!!! i love when genshin's events or quests are like therapy sessions like yes thanks for teaching us about anxiety and#struggles with self identity and how sharing our problems with others isn't a burden and how being vulnerable will allow us to create#meaningful connections and relate to others around us that only through connection and being able to see other people we are able to#fight the feeling of alienation we had in the first place and gain a new found confidence!!! like yes. trauma holds us back and can#influence the way we interact with others around us and follow us for so much time but we can also thrive regardless!!!!#genshin lore is so good but also the way this game helps us find peace regarding so many things we all struggle with is beautiful methinks#a lot of the struggles the characters face in the game are related to the fantasy world their inserted to sure but they're also still#incredibly relatable to the most common person if we strip down that fantasy layer#i think it's about being seen and understood feeling less lonely and also seeing others through less of a 1st person lense about finding#beauty and significante in diversity#but anyways rant over#i'm having fun with windblume and i love events like this where we just get to revisit characters and see them have a good time with each#other!!! it's so comforting plus mondstadt looks so pretty
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Ur just with the wrong people
do you guys ever feel like an outcast even in a group full of outcasts. like i'm autistic and even in groups full of neurodivergent people i'm still excluded sometimes. i don't understand why
#i work at a retro game store where the bulk of the employees; the owner included; are all neurodivergant#that workplace has been one of my favorite places in the world to be simce i started working there. i get along well with everyone because#each of them see me and know me for who i am and the work that i do; and while they have their faults i care for and accpet them as they are#and they do the same for me. the one âgripeâ i sort of had with the newer staff we were hiring was that patience and care we had with#each other wasnt being readily extended to our lower functioning customers; arguably the ones who need that understanding the most#so i started doing double shifts with them and slowing introducing the idea of âmaking their experience a good oneâ#because a lot of our lower functioning customers have caretakers that come into the store with them; which means coming to our store is#not just something they're doing on a whim; it's a planned part of the day that for some of them is meant to be a highlight#so when i phrased it like that; and brought to their attention that this is kind of job that isnt for people who arent good with empathy#the good news is empathy is like creativity. it's a muscle that you can make stronger#point being; i had to make that chamge among my coworkers/friend group and for their own good; but for the good of people like us that'll#walk into the store. the magic about this is thise skills will benefit them outside of this job; the skill to be kind and gentle and#considerate with people you might not feel comfortable with is invaluable this day and age. if you're worried you cant?#dont. they thought the same thing and now we get 5 star reviews about the both of them. you can be the change you want to see in the people#around you. if youre just not getting that around yoj? find some new friends
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I love to talk but I rly do feel like we have to be talking for a minimum of 8 hours straight before I feel like I can even begin to rly broach things on my mind or that have been bothering me a lot that I actually want to talk abt without being vague or deflecting or omitting or lying and if the conversation takes a break at any point it resets back to 0 and its still nice regardless but.
#we're all just desperately chasing each other around for a semblance of connection in this cold bleak world#but unfortunately due to the relentless crushing pressures of capitalism we also have to work so no time for that#man. sorry just frustrated n miserable now. wish i was capable of feeling close to other ppl wish i could give other ppl that connection#but instead we're just ships in the night passing by or whatever#and i have to settle with not rly being known or wanted or important in other ppls lives and its forever. btw#bc even if ppl do think they know me or do want me around or i am important to them in some way.. the specific torture labyrinth i call#home is constructed in the most elegant and precise way that im incapable of believing them to be sincere anyway#so thats all on me! if I tried harder and made more of an effort to communicate with or trust ppl i wouldnt feel this way!#but i dont so better luck in the next life i guess! this is why i dont think abt this shit bc it makes me want to kms#whats even the point man#dont even worry abt me im fine just need to fucking vent bc i dont have time to allow myself to feel anything bc i have plans tmr#so i need to go to bed early. and ill just try my best to keep distracted forever so ill never need to face how pathetically desperate#i am for any kind of emotional intimacy whatsoever and also physical contact but im not normal enough to fulfil any of my own needs#yeah well. its my life that i have to live and im the one making it this way. digging my grave and lying in it innit#its fine tho bc they make repressed fictional characters that i can project onto instead of confronting any of my issues#so ill just be here in my labyrinth doing that. while everyone else gets to see sunlight and grass and whatever#im just so tired i dont want to do this i want to pretend i dont care and dont need it and maybe itll become true. its too much for me#let me know when they need me to pilot the jaeger and drift with someone and thru our mindmelding i can finally achieve intimacy and trust#well anyway. that was embarrassing. hope it works out for everyone else#hope my flatmate gets her ideal life w our other old flatmates and finds a convenient way of discarding me from that like they want#except im going to make it as difficult as possible for as long as i can for them to get rid of me bc im selfish and want what i want so.#my obligate parasite ass. or whatever. im going to throw up if i keep thinking so thats a good place to stop and go to sleep probably#.vent#dont interact im being stupid as fuck and dont care just leave me alone thanks
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LOVE NEXT DOOR - p.sh
SUMMARY: After discovering your fiancĂŠâs infidelity, you leave behind the life youâd built in the U.S. and return to Korea to stay with your parents. The familiar streets and faces bring a bittersweet nostalgia, but nothing compares to reuniting with Sunghoon, your childhood best friend. Heâs different nowâmore reserved, maybe a bit colder. While he tries to bury the feelings he thought heâd left in the past, being around you stirs something in him that he canât ignore. And as you start to find comfort in each other again, you both realize that some feelings never truly fade.
PAIRING: childhood bsf! sunghoon x f!reader
WARNINGS: smut (oral m and f receiving, unprotected sex), angst, denial, mentions of cheating
wc: 20k
Youâre not sure what you expected when you walked into your apartment that day. Youâd left early for a business tripâan opportunity too good to pass up, even if it meant being away from Daniel for a few days. The wedding was only a month away, and youâd been looking forward to everything finally settling into place. Youâd imagined your life with him so many times: your wedding day, the honeymoon, the house youâd live in together, the family youâd build. It was all supposed to be perfect.
But as you pushed open the bedroom door, the world youâd been building shattered.
There they were, tangled in sheets that were meant for the two of you. Daniel's eyes widened in shock, but he didn't even bother scrambling for an excuse. You felt your chest tighten, each heartbeat a hammer against your ribs. For a moment, you stood frozen, every emotion rushing through you all at onceâanger, betrayal, disgust, disbelief. The room, filled with their hurried whispers and excuses, began to spin, and you could hardly breathe.
Youâd spent countless hours planning your future together, from the lace details on your wedding dress to the way youâd wear your hair. You had been so meticulous, imagining every little moment, every dance, every vow. Now, each of those dreams felt like a cruel joke. The engagement ring on your finger suddenly felt heavy, almost suffocating, a symbol of the love and trust that had been so easily shattered.
You werenât supposed to be home. The thought lingers as you stand in the doorway, frozen, watching the scene unfold in front of you. Daniel, the man you were supposed to marry in a month, is tangled in your sheets with another woman. His face pales, and he stumbles over himself, trying to sit up, as if thereâs any explanation that could possibly make this right.
âY/N, I can explain,â he starts, throwing on the shirt that had been discarded on the floor. His voice is a mix of desperation and guilt.
âExplain?â you manage, though your throat feels tight, your voice barely a whisper. You feel like youâre in a daze, like this canât possibly be real. âYouâre in our bed, Daniel. The bed where weââ You choke on your words, unable to finish the sentence. Everything youâd built with him, all the dreams and plans, now feel hollow and meaningless.
He takes a step toward you, but you instinctively back away. âIt wasnât supposed to happen like this. It was a mistake, Y/N. Please, just let meââ
âA mistake?â You let out a bitter laugh, the sound foreign even to yourself. âWeâre supposed to get married in a month, Daniel. A month! I was planning our wedding while you wereââ You stop, shaking your head as the reality of it all starts to sink in. âDid you ever even care about us? About me?â
âOf course I did,â he says, his voice cracking. But thereâs a hollowness in his words, one that you canât unhear now.
âDonât,â you interrupt, holding up your hand to stop him. âJust⌠donât. I trusted you. I thought you loved me.â The weight of the engagement ring on your finger feels unbearable now, as if itâs mocking you, reminding you of every lie heâs ever told. You pull it off and toss it onto the bed, where it lands with a soft thud. âKeep it. I donât want it anymore.â
He reaches for you, his hand outstretched, but you step back. âY/N, please, donât go. We can fix thisââ
âFix this?â You laugh again, the sound almost hysterical. âThereâs nothing left to fix, Daniel. You ruined it. You ruined us.â The finality of your words hangs in the air, and for the first time, he seems to understand that this is it. Youâre done.
Without another word, you turn and walk out, leaving behind the life youâd once believed in, the future youâd painstakingly planned. And as you step outside into the fresh air, you feel a strange sense of relief mixed with the ache of betrayal.Â
Ëŕ¨ŕ§âď˝ĄË â
The hotel room is cold and impersonal, nothing like the home youâd shared with him. As you sit on the edge of the bed, you feel the weight of everything crashing down on you. Youâre alone, truly alone, in a way you havenât been since you first moved to the U.S. Daniel was supposed to be your constant, the one person you could rely on in this foreign place. Now, it all feels like a lie.
You clutch a pillow to your chest, trying to hold yourself together as the realization sinks in. You gave up so much to be with him, to build a life together. You left behind friends, family, and a whole world you knew, all for someone who didnât care enough to stay faithful. The emptiness that fills you is overwhelming, and for the first time in a long time, you feel lost.
The next day, you return to your shared apartment. The place feels different nowâtainted, like a ghost of the life you thought you had. You walk through each room, collecting your things in a daze, each item a painful reminder of a future that no longer exists.
In the bedroom, you pause, glancing at the photos on the nightstand. One of them is from the day he proposed, your faces beaming with happiness that now feels so far away. You grab the picture frame and toss it into a box, the glass cracking as it hits the other items. It feels oddly satisfying.
Once youâve packed everything, you head to work for what you know will be the last time. The office is buzzing with the usual hum of conversations and keyboard clicks, but it all feels distant, like youâre watching it from the outside.
You find your boss in his office, and he looks up as you walk in. âY/N, I wasnât expecting you back so soon. How was the trip?â
You force a smile, though it barely reaches your eyes. âThe trip was fine, but I need to talk to you about something.â
He senses the seriousness in your tone and gestures for you to sit. âWhatâs going on?â
Taking a deep breath, you steady yourself. âIâm resigning. Effective immediately.â
He blinks, surprised. âAre you sure? I mean, you have such a promising future here, andââ
âIâm going back to Korea,â you say, cutting him off. âThereâs⌠thereâs nothing left for me here.â You swallow hard, fighting back the tears threatening to fall. âI need to go home.â
He nods slowly, seeming to understand that this isnât just a spur-of-the-moment decision. âIâm sorry to hear that, Y/N. Weâll miss you around here.â
The finality of it all feels like a release, and as you walk out of the office for the last time, you feel a strange mix of sadness and relief. Youâre leaving behind everything youâd built, but youâre also walking away from the pain, from the betrayal. Itâs time to start over, to find yourself again. And you know exactly where you need to be.
With your suitcases in hand, you leave the apartment, the job, and the life youâd once loved, and head for the airport. This time, youâre going homeâfor good.
Ëŕ¨ŕ§âď˝ĄË â
The plane ride back to Korea feels like a dreamâa hazy, surreal blur where the reality of whatâs happened hasnât quite caught up with you. You stare out the window, watching as the city below grows closer, the familiar landscape bringing a wave of bittersweet nostalgia. Youâre going home, but not for the reasons you ever imagined.
You feel a wave of apprehension mixed with relief. You hadnât planned on returning home so abruptly, with nothing but a suitcase and a broken heart, and you certainly hadnât told anyone. You let yourself imagine how surprised your parents will be when you show up at the door unannounced. But you push the thought aside as you step into a cab, the familiar cityscape passing by in a blur.
The familiar street feels almost surreal as you pull up to your parentsâ house, the one you havenât seen in years. After everything thatâs happened, this was the only place that felt like it could hold you together. As you step out of the cab and stand in front of the door, the weight of your decision settles over you.Â
You take a deep breath and ring the bell. you stand at the door, hesitating. You havenât been here in so long, and everything looks just as it did beforeâyet somehow different. The door swings open to reveal your motherâs shocked face.
âY/N?â she gasps, her hand flying to her mouth. âIs it really you?â
âItâs me, Mom,â you say, managing a small smile as she pulls you into a tight hug.Â
âOh, honey!â She squeezes you, almost as if to make sure youâre real, then steps back, looking you over with a mixture of joy and worry. âWhat are you doing here? We didnât know you were coming!â
âI know. I wanted it to be a surprise.â You look over her shoulder to see your father standing in the doorway, his expression just as bewildered.
âWell, come in, come in!â Your mother ushers you inside, closing the door behind you. Your father wraps you in a quick hug, his grip firm but gentle.
âWhat brings you back home so suddenly?â he asks, his voice tinged with concern. âWe thought youâd be busy with wedding plans.â
Your heart skips a beat, but you keep your expression steady. âYeah⌠I just needed to get away for a bit. I missed you both.â
Your mother gives you a searching look, sensing thereâs more to the story. âBut your wedding is only a month away. Is everything okay?â
âItâs fine,â you say quickly, forcing a smile. âDaniel and I decided to take a break. I just needed some space to think, so I thought itâd be nice to come home for a while.â
Your parents exchange glances, their worry deepening. âA break?â your father echoes. âThis close to the wedding?â
You take a deep breath, bracing yourself against the wave of emotion that threatens to break through. âYeah, it was a last-minute decision. But I promise, itâs nothing to worry about. I just⌠needed to clear my head.â
Your mother reaches out and takes your hand, her grip warm and reassuring. âWeâre here for you, sweetheart. You know that, right?â
âI know.â You squeeze her hand, grateful for their presence. âI just needed to be here. With you.â
Your father nods, his expression softening. âWell, youâre always welcome here. For as long as you need.â
 They settle into the familiar rhythm of conversation, asking about your flight and your plans, you find a small sense of comfort in their voices. But beneath it all, you can feel the questions they arenât asking, the truths youâre not yet ready to share. For now, you let their warmth surround you, clinging to it like a lifeline in the storm youâre still navigating alone.
Ëŕ¨ŕ§âď˝ĄË â
As the night settles in, you find yourself standing in the doorway of your childhood bedroom, heart pounding. It feels both familiar and foreign, the walls adorned with posters of your teenage dreams and the desk still cluttered with relics of late-night study sessions. You push the door open, stepping inside and allowing the memories to wash over you.Â
The bed is made, just as you left it all those years ago, with the comforter patterned in pastel colors and stuffed animals peeking out from under the pillows. You take a deep breath, inhaling the scent of your childhoodâthe faint hint of lavender air freshener mixed with the familiar aroma of old books. Itâs comforting and painful all at once.
You sit on the edge of the bed, your mind drifts back to nights spent cramming for exams, the soft glow of the desk lamp illuminating pages of notes and textbooks. You remember laughing with your friends during late-night study sessions, the sound of their voices filling the air as you all shared dreams and plans for the future. Those were simpler times, before life became a tangled web of expectations and disappointments.
With each memory, a wave of nostalgia crashes over you, but the pain of your recent reality looms just beneath the surface. You can almost hear the echoes of your younger self, confident and excited about the future. Now, you feel like a shadow of that person, haunted by the weight of betrayal.
You shake your head, forcing a smile as you pull out your pajamas from your suitcase. No sense in dwelling on the past. You need to maintain the strong front youâve put on for your parents. They deserve to see you as the daughter whoâs come home, not the girl whose world has crumbled in a matter of weeks.
As you change into your pajamas, you catch a glimpse of yourself in the mirrorâyour eyes tired and a hint of sadness in your smile. But you quickly brush it aside, reminding yourself that you canât let them see how vulnerable you feel. Your parents have already expressed their concerns; you canât burden them with the truth just yet. You donât want to break their hearts with the reality of why youâre here.
Slipping under the covers, you take a moment to appreciate the softness of the sheets, the way they wrap around you like a warm embrace. You lie back, staring at the ceiling, and allow your thoughts to wander. You think of Daniel, of the way everything fell apart so quickly, and the ache in your chest sharpens. But you breathe through it, determined not to let the tears spill over.
Instead, you focus on the memories that fill this room, allowing yourself a brief moment of comfort before the darkness creeps back in. You can hear your motherâs soft footsteps in the hallway, her gentle voice drifting through the walls as she chats with your father. Theyâre worried about you, and you know it. But you refuse to let them see the cracks in your facade.Â
You close your eyes, the past and present collide in a whirlwind of emotion, but you push the chaos aside, seeking solace in the familiarity of your childhood sanctuary. Here, in this room, you can hold on to the illusion of safety, if only for a little while longer.
Ëŕ¨ŕ§âď˝ĄË â
The next morning, you wake up to the smell of something familiarâyour motherâs cooking. For a moment, you let yourself enjoy the simplicity of it, the warmth of home wrapping around you like a blanket. You push back the covers and head downstairs, where you find her bustling around the kitchen, setting the table like she used to when you were in high school.
âGood morning,â she says brightly as she sees you, her smile wide and welcoming. âI made your favoriteâjeon and kimchi jjigae. Figured you could use a nice breakfast after that long flight.â
âThanks, Mom.â You slide into a chair at the table, the normalcy of the moment grounding you. Itâs almost like the old days when everything was so simpleâjust you, your parents, and a quiet morning before the day truly began.
She sets a plate down in front of you, the scene feels like something out of the past. The kitchen hasnât changed, with the same floral curtains and the light clinking of dishes filling the quiet space. Itâs peaceful, almost enough to make you forget why youâre back.
You both fall into an easy conversationâtalking about small things like the weather, whatâs been happening in the neighborhood, and her latest gardening projects. She doesnât press about Daniel or the wedding, and youâre thankful for the reprieve. Youâre determined to keep up this front, to act like everythingâs fine, at least for now.
Just as you start to relax into the conversation, the front door flies open with a loud bang, and a familiar voice cuts through the morning calm.
âY/N!â
You look up just as Yeji storms into the kitchen, her expression a mix of excitement and disbelief.
âHow could you not tell me you were coming back?â she demands, standing with her hands on her hips as she glares at you in mock offense. âI had to hear it from our momâs call this morning! Do you know how betrayed I feel right now?â
You blink in surprise, a guilty smile tugging at your lips. âYeji, Iââ
âUnbelievable,â she cuts you off, shaking her head. âI thought we were best friends! Youâre lucky I love you.â
She strides over and pulls you into a tight hug before you can finish your sentence. You laugh softly, hugging her back. âIâm sorry, I didnât tell anyone. It was a last-minute thing.â
Yeji pulls away and gives you a playful glare. âYou owe me, big time.â
Your mother, who has been watching this entire exchange with an amused smile, shakes her head. âI told her she shouldâve called you first,â she teases, glancing between the two of you.
Yeji crosses her arms, looking at you expectantly. âWell, youâre here now, so spill. Whatâs going on? Why the sudden return?â
You feel the weight of her question hang in the air, but before you can figure out how to answer, your mom steps in.
âLet her eat first, Yeji,â she chides gently. âShe just got here yesterday.â
Yeji grumbles, taking a seat next to you with a dramatic sigh. âFine. But after breakfast, you better be ready to talk. No way youâre getting out of this.â
You smile, feeling the warmth of her friendship wrap around you, even as you dread the inevitable questions. For now, though, you focus on the food in front of you, allowing the conversation to flow around you like it used toâjust another morning in the house where everything was simple.
Ëŕ¨ŕ§âď˝ĄË â
âIm heading to the market to get stuff I need for tonightâs dinner. Iâll be back in a little,â Your mom tells you, walking out the door and closing it behind her.
Yeji narrows her eyes, tapping her fingers on the table. âOkay, Y/N. Enough stalling. Why are you really back? This close to the wedding? Whatâs going on with you and Daniel?â
You feel your stomach tighten, but you keep your face neutral, cutting a piece of pancake as if her question hasnât hit you like a punch to the gut. âI told you, I just wanted to visit. I missed everyone.â
Yeji isnât convinced. âY/N, donât give me that. You didnât even tell me you were coming back, and youâre usually texting me about every little thing. Now you show up out of nowhere, and weâre supposed to believe this is just a friendly visit?â
You meet her gaze, your heart pounding, but you force yourself to stay calm. âIt is. Thereâs nothing else to it.â
She raises an eyebrow, clearly not buying it. âCome on. You and I both know somethingâs up. Was there a fight? Did Daniel do something?â
You shake your head quickly. âYeji, really. I just needed a break. Thatâs all.â
Yeji stares at you for a moment longer, waiting for you to crack, but when you donât, she throws her hands up in defeat. âFine. Keep your secrets. But mark my words, Iâll get it out of you one way or another.â
You breathe a silent sigh of relief as she finally drops the topic. Youâre not ready to talk about Daniel, or the betrayal that shattered everything. Not yet.
Yeji leans back in her chair, crossing her arms. âAnyway, speaking of things you havenât told me⌠have you seen Sunghoon yet?â
The question takes you off guard, and you look at her, surprised. âSunghoon?â
âYeah,â Yeji says, eyeing you with a knowing smirk. âYour other childhood bestie? The one whoâs still very much around? He lives next door, you know.â
You fidget with your fork, feeling an odd mix of emotions stir at the mention of his name. âNo, I havenât seen him yet.â
Yeji tilts her head. âReally? Youâve been here since yesterday and havenât run into him? Thatâs weird. Heâs practically part of your family.â
You shrug, trying to appear indifferent. âI got in late, and Iâve been busy with unpacking. Itâs not that surprising.â
Yeji chuckles. âHeâs going to be so mad you didnât tell him you were coming back either. Youâve got a lot of explaining to do, Y/N.â
You manage a small laugh, though the thought of seeing Sunghoon after all these years sends a small flutter of anxiety through you. Things with him had always been comfortable, easy, but after so long apart, youâre not sure what to expect. And after everything thatâs happened with Daniel, the idea of facing someone who knows you so well feels almost too raw.
âWell, good luck with that,â Yeji says, giving you a teasing smile. âYou know how he is. Heâs probably going to give you the cold shoulder for a bit.â
You force a grin, though youâre already dreading the inevitable reunion. âYeah. I guess Iâll deal with that when it happens.â
Ëŕ¨ŕ§âď˝ĄË â
Later that afternoon, feeling a bit restless from being inside all morning, you decide to take a walk to the nearby convenience store. The air is crisp and cool, and the quiet hum of the neighborhood feels calming. Itâs the kind of peace you missed during your years abroad, and for a moment, you let yourself relax, letting the familiar surroundings ease your mind.
As you approach the store, lost in thought, you nearly bump into someone coming out. You step back, about to apologize, when you realize who it is. Sunghoon.
Your heart stutters in your chest as you take in the sight of him. He looks the same, yet somehow different. Taller, more mature. His dark hair falls slightly over his eyes, and heâs dressed casually in a hoodie and jeans, holding a bag of snacks in one hand. But itâs his expression that catches you off guardâcool, almost indifferent, as his eyes meet yours.
âSunghoon?â you say, trying to mask the awkwardness creeping into your voice. âI didnât think Iâd run into you here.â
He blinks, a brief flicker of surprise crossing his face before it quickly fades into something more guarded. âY/N,â he says, his tone even. âI heard you were back.â
Thereâs no warmth in his voice, no hint of the familiarity you used to share. The coldness of his reaction makes your stomach drop, and for a moment, you donât know what to say.
âYeah⌠I came back yesterday.â You offer a small, tentative smile, hoping to ease the tension. âIt was kind of a last-minute thing.â
Sunghoon nods, but his expression doesnât change. âI figured.â
You stand there awkwardly, the weight of the unspoken tension between you heavier than you expected. This wasnât how you thought it would go. He used to be one of your closest friends, someone you could talk to about anything. Now, it feels like youâre standing in front of a stranger.
âHave you been okay?â you ask, trying to bridge the gap between you.
âYeah, Iâve been fine.â His answer is short, clipped, as if heâs not interested in small talk.
The coldness in his voice stings, and you canât help but wonder if your sudden disappearance all those years ago had more of an impact on him than you realized. âItâs good to see you,â you offer, even though youâre not sure if itâs true anymore. âIâve missed everyone.â
âRight.â He looks past you, as if already ready to leave. âWell, welcome back.â
Thatâs it? No questions, no catching up, just⌠this? You feel your chest tighten, the conversation feeling colder by the second.Â
âThanks,â you manage to say, trying not to let his aloofness get to you. âI guess Iâll see you around?â
Sunghoon shrugs, his expression unreadable. âMaybe.âÂ
With that, he steps past you, walking away without another word, leaving you standing there, feeling strangely hollow. You watch him go, the distance between you now more than just physical. Itâs like thereâs a wall where there used to be a connection, and youâre not sure howâor ifâyouâll ever break through it again.
After your brief and awkward run-in with Sunghoon, you continue into the convenience store, your thoughts swirling. The encounter had left you unsettledâmore than you wanted to admit. Youâd expected maybe a little awkwardness after all these years, but not this cold, indifferent version of Sunghoon. The Sunghoon you remembered was always warm, protective, quick to tease you. Now, it felt like he couldnât care less that you were back.
You absentmindedly browse the aisles, picking up a few snacks and bottled water, you replay the conversation in your head. Every curt response, every emotionless glance. Was he mad? Hurt? Or had he just moved on with his life so much that your return didnât even register? You didnât expect everything to fall back into place after so many years, but you certainly didnât expect this.
You make your way to the counter, trying to push the thoughts away. Maybe itâs better not to overthink it. Youâve only been back for a dayâthings might take time to feel normal again. Or maybe youâve just been gone too long.
The cashier rings up your items, and you pay before stepping back outside into the cool autumn air. The sky is a soft gray, and a slight breeze carries the scent of falling leaves, a reminder that some things, at least, remain the same.
Ëŕ¨ŕ§âď˝ĄË â
On your way back home, your mind drifts to everything thatâs happened in the last few days. Youâd been so focused on escaping Daniel, on putting distance between you and the life youâd built with him in the U.S., that you hadnât really prepared yourself for how different everything might be back here.Â
You shake your head. This wasnât the time to spiral. One thing at a time.
When you reach your house, you feel a bit lighter, the familiarity of home giving you a sense of stability. As you open the door and step inside, your mother is in the living room, flipping through a magazine.
âHey, sweetie,â she greets with a smile, glancing up at you. âDid you get what you needed?â
âYeah, just a few things,â you reply, holding up the bag. âThought Iâd take a walk.â
âGood. Itâs nice to have you back home.â She pats the seat next to her on the couch, and you sit down, the warmth of the house and her presence comforting.
You try to focus on the moment, pushing aside the confusing encounter with Sunghoon for now. But it lingers in the back of your mind, like an unresolved thread, tugging at you no matter how hard you try to ignore it.
One day at a time, you remind yourself. You came back to Korea to heal. Whatever happens with Sunghoonâor anything elseâwill have to wait.
As you settle into the couch next to your mom, you finally let yourself relax a little. The warmth of the house, the quiet rhythm of the afternoonâit almost feels normal. But as you sit there, your mom glances at you with a casual smile, one that makes you wary.
âOh, I forgot to mention,â she says, flipping the magazine shut. âSunghoon and his parents are coming over for dinner tonight.â
You freeze, your fingers tightening slightly around the edge of the couch. âWhat?â
âYeah,â your mom continues, completely unaware of the tension that suddenly grips you. âIâve been meaning to invite them over, and I thought itâd be nice to have a little family dinner now that youâre back. You know how close we are with them.â
Your mind races. You had barely survived your run-in with Sunghoon at the convenience store, and now you were supposed to sit through an entire dinner with him? After how cold and distant heâd been? The thought alone makes your stomach twist.
âTonight?â you ask, trying to keep your voice even.
âMm-hmm,â your mom says, already getting up to head toward the kitchen. âIâm going to start prepping soon. Itâll be fun, donât you think? Just like old times.â
Fun wasnât exactly the word youâd use. âMom, Iââ
Before you can come up with an excuse, sheâs already busy listing out dishes. âI was thinking weâd do something simple. Maybe some bulgogi, kimchi, a few side dishes. Oh, and that japchae you love. Sunghoon always liked that, too.â
You rub your temples, feeling the weight of the situation settle on your shoulders. There was no getting out of this. Your mom had clearly put thought into this dinner, and after being away for so long, you didnât have the heart to tell her no.
âYeah⌠sounds great,â you manage to say, though your enthusiasm is clearly lacking.
âPerfect! Iâll get started now. Why donât you help me later with the table?â she says cheerfully, disappearing into the kitchen.
You sit there, trying to wrap your mind around the fact that in just a few hours, youâll be sitting across from Sunghoon at dinnerâawkward silences, tense glances, and all. Youâd thought you could avoid him for a while, at least until you figured out how to talk to him, but it seems the universe had other plans.
Ëŕ¨ŕ§âď˝ĄË â
Dinner time arrives faster than youâd hoped, and the pit in your stomach grows heavier with each passing minute. You spent the last hour helping your mom set the table, the familiar routine of laying out chopsticks and plates doing little to calm your nerves. Every time you hear a sound outside, your heart jumps, anticipating their arrival.
Finally, thereâs a knock at the door, followed by your fatherâs cheerful voice as he greets Sunghoon and his parents. You force a steadying breath, bracing yourself for the inevitable as they step inside.
âCome in, come in,â your mom calls from the kitchen, wiping her hands on a towel as she moves to greet them.
You stay rooted by the table, trying not to let your unease show. When you glance up, your eyes meet Sunghoonâs. His face is impassive, and though his parents are all smiles, he barely acknowledges you beyond a polite nod.
âY/N,â his mother beams, walking over to give you a warm hug. âItâs so wonderful to see you back home! You look so grown-up. How long has it been?â
You muster a smile as you hug her back. âItâs been a while, yeah. Iâve missed being here.â
Sunghoonâs dad shakes your hand with a broad smile. âYou were always such a good kid. Your parents must be thrilled to have you back.â
You nod, trying to keep the conversation light as you exchange pleasantries with Sunghoonâs parents. Meanwhile, Sunghoon himself stands near the doorway, hands in his pockets, looking anywhere but at you. The coldness from earlier lingers between you, thick and uncomfortable.
Your mom ushers everyone to the dining table, her excitement palpable as she serves the food. âLetâs all sit! Itâs so nice to have everyone together again.â
You find yourself seated across from Sunghoon, who remains quiet as the meal begins. His parents chat easily with your parents, exchanging updates on family matters and local gossip. You try to join in, but itâs hard to focus when you can feel Sunghoonâs presence directly in front of you, the weight of his silence pressing down.
At one point, his father glances at you, his smile genuine. âSo, Y/N, how long are you planning to stay? Iâm sure youâve got a busy life back in the States, with the wedding and all.â
You freeze, the mention of the wedding making your chest tighten. Youâd hoped it wouldnât come up, but of course, it was inevitable. All eyes turn to you, and you feel Sunghoonâs gaze on you now, sharp and watchful.
âOh⌠Iâm not sure yet,â you answer, trying to keep your voice steady. âI havenât really figured everything out.â
His mother looks over, curious. âArenât you worried about the wedding? Itâs only a month away, right?â
You swallow hard, avoiding Sunghoonâs gaze, which feels like a dagger from across the table. âI⌠I decided to take some time off. You know, to clear my head before everything gets hectic.â
Your parents exchange glances but donât press further, sensing that thereâs more to the story than youâre letting on. Sunghoonâs mother, however, isnât as easily deterred.
âWell, Iâm sure Danielâs missing you terribly,â she says with a laugh, clearly unaware of the tension her words cause. âYou two must be so excited about the big day!â
You feel your throat tighten, your fingers gripping the edge of your plate. Before you can figure out how to respond, Sunghoon finally speaks.
âMaybe we should give Y/N a break,â he says, his tone low but unmistakably cold. âShe just got back. No need to bombard her with questions about her wedding.â
Everyone goes silent for a moment, the shift in his tone catching them off guard. You glance up, surprised by his sudden defense of you, but when your eyes meet, his expression remains unreadable.Â
His mother blinks, a bit flustered. âOh, of course. I didnât mean to pry.â
âItâs fine,â you say quickly, trying to smooth over the tension. âReally. I just needed some time to think.â
Your father clears his throat, steering the conversation to a different topic, but the air remains thick with unspoken words. As dinner continues, you canât help but glance at Sunghoon, who stays quiet for the rest of the meal, his face hard, distant.
By the time dessert rolls around, youâre exhausted from keeping up the act. You want nothing more than to escape this table, to be anywhere but here, trapped between old memories and the unresolved tension that hangs over everything like a storm cloud.
Sunghoon may have spoken up for you, but the chill in his demeanor tells you everything you need to knowâhe hasnât forgiven you for leaving, and this dinner is just the beginning of whatever complicated mess lies ahead.
Ëŕ¨ŕ§âď˝ĄË â
After dinner, the weight of the evening presses on your chest, and you feel the overwhelming need for spaceâsomewhere away from the questions, the tension, and the relentless memories. Your parents chat casually in the living room with Sunghoonâs parents, but their laughter feels distant, like youâre no longer part of it. Excusing yourself quietly, you slip out of the house, letting the cool night air hit your skin as you walk down the quiet, familiar streets.
You find yourself heading to the park where you, Sunghoon, and Yeji used to play as kids. The old swings, the jungle gym, even the worn-out slideâitâs all still there, untouched by time. The memories of those carefree days flood back, bittersweet in their simplicity. You push down the ache in your chest and sit on one of the swings, the creak of the chains loud in the stillness of the night.
The moon hangs low, casting a pale glow over the empty park. You let yourself swing gently, the motion soothing, but your thoughts are anything but calm. Everything is swirlingâDaniel, the wedding that wonât happen, your sudden return home, and the wall Sunghoonâs built between you since the moment you saw him again.
Lost in your thoughts, you donât hear him approach until heâs already there. The soft crunch of his footsteps on the gravel pulls you from your reverie, and you glance to your side, startled to see Sunghoon standing there, his expression unreadable. He doesnât say anything at first, just looks at you for a moment before settling onto the swing next to you.
For a long while, neither of you speaks. The silence stretches between you, thick and uncomfortable, but somehow familiarâlike the many quiet nights youâd spent together here as kids. Back then, silence was easy. Now, itâs loaded with everything you havenât said, everything thatâs changed.
Finally, you break the quiet, your voice barely above a whisper. âI didnât think youâd follow me.â
Sunghoon doesnât look at you, his gaze fixed on the ground as he kicks at the dirt with his shoe. âI didnât think I would either,â he admits, his voice flat. âBut here I am.â
You glance at him from the corner of your eye, trying to gauge his mood. The coldness from earlier lingers in the air between you, but thereâs something else tooâsomething softer, more hesitant, like heâs struggling with whateverâs on his mind.
The gentle creak of the swings is the only sound for a few more moments, until he finally speaks again, his tone low and distant. âYou left,â he says, his words simple but heavy. âNo warning. No goodbyes.â
Your stomach twists at the accusation, but you canât deny it. âI know,â you say quietly, gripping the chains of the swing a little tighter. âIâm sorry.â
He lets out a small, bitter laugh. âYeah, well, that doesnât exactly change anything, does it?â
You wince, the sharp edge in his voice cutting deeper than you expected. âSunghoon, I didnât mean to just disappear. Things were⌠complicated.â
âComplicated?â He finally turns to look at you, his eyes narrowing slightly. âYou couldnât have called? Texted? I had to hear from my parents that you were moving to the U.S. And now, after years of nothing, you just show up out of nowhere, acting like everythingâs fine?â
You bite your lip, the guilt weighing heavily on you. âI didnât mean to hurt you. I just⌠I needed to get away. From everything. And then⌠life happened.â
Sunghoon shakes his head, his jaw clenching. âYouâre always running away, Y/N. You did it back then, and now youâre doing it again. What happened with Daniel? Did he screw up, and now youâre back here hiding?â
His words strike a nerve, and you feel your chest tighten. âItâs not like that,â you say defensively, though a part of you wonders if heâs right.Â
âIsnât it?â he presses, his voice sharp. âYouâre back here, pretending everythingâs okay when clearly, itâs not.â
You turn away, the pain and frustration bubbling up inside you. âYou donât know what Iâve been through, Sunghoon. Itâs not that simple.â
For a moment, he stays silent, the tension between you thick and suffocating. Then, he sighs, the anger seeming to drain out of him. âYouâre right. I donât know. Because you never told me.â
You look over at him, and for the first time since youâve been back, you see something in his eyes that isnât coldness or angerâjust hurt. The years youâve spent apart, the silence between youâitâs all built up into this wall that neither of you knows how to tear down.
âI didnât mean for it to be like this,â you whisper, the weight of the years catching up to you. âI just⌠I needed to figure things out. And now, I donât know how to fix it.â
Sunghoon looks away, his expression softening, though the hurt still lingers. âMaybe itâs not about fixing things,â he says quietly. âMaybe itâs just about being honest. With me. With yourself.â
You donât know how to respond, the truth of his words settling heavily on your chest. The silence returns, but this time it feels differentânot as cold, not as distant. You both sit there, side by side, swinging gently in the cool night air, the echoes of your childhood swirling around you.
Ëŕ¨ŕ§âď˝ĄË â
The walk back home from the park is quiet, but itâs a different kind of silence nowâless charged, more reflective. Sunghoon walks beside you, his hands in his pockets, and though neither of you speaks, thereâs a tentative sense of peace settling between you.
The night air feels lighter as you near your house, and you glance over at him, wondering if this fragile understanding between you will last. Just as youâre about to say something, you hear itâa voice calling your name from across the street.Â
âY/N!â
You freeze, your heart skipping a beat at the sound of Danielâs voice. Itâs impossible. He shouldnât be here. Slowly, you turn, and there he is, standing under a streetlight, his face a mixture of desperation and determination.
âY/N, wait!â he calls again, hurrying toward you, his voice strained with urgency.
You can feel your blood run cold as he approaches. Sunghoon stiffens beside you, his gaze hardening the moment he sees Daniel. You swallow, taking an instinctive step back, every muscle in your body tensing as the man youâd left behind in the U.S. closes the distance between you.
âWhat the hell are you doing here?â you manage, your voice shaking with equal parts disbelief and anger.
Danielâs eyes are pleading, his hands reaching out like heâs trying to reel you back in. âI came to find you. To explain everything. I messed up, Y/N, but we can fix this. You canât just run away like this.â
Sunghoon moves slightly closer to you, his presence a shield as you stand frozen, trying to process the surreal scene unfolding in front of you. The front door to your house swings open, and your parents step out, concern etched across their faces. They must have heard the commotion from inside.
âY/N? Whatâs going on out here?â your mother asks, her gaze moving between you, Daniel, and Sunghoon. Your father follows, frowning deeply as he takes in the scene.
Daniel seems to seize the moment, stepping toward you again. âI made a mistake, okay? I know I hurt you, but we can work this out. We were so close to the wedding, Y/N. Donât throw it all away because of one mistake.â
The words hit you like a punch to the gut, the weight of the betrayal crashing down on you all over again. Your motherâs eyes widen as she glances between the two of you. âWhat⌠mistake?â she asks slowly, her voice tight with worry.
You donât want to say it. You donât want to admit it in front of your parents, in front of Sunghoon, but the truth is too heavy to keep inside any longer. You take a deep breath, your voice trembling as the words finally spill out.
âHe cheated,â you say, your voice breaking slightly. âWith someone else. Thatâs why I left.â
The air seems to freeze around you. Your mother gasps, her hand flying to her mouth in shock. Your fatherâs expression hardens, his eyes narrowing as he stares at Daniel. And Sunghoon⌠Sunghoonâs fists clench at his sides, the barely restrained anger radiating off him in waves.
âHow dare you?â your fatherâs voice is like steel, cold and furious. âHow dare you come here after what youâve done?â
Daniel takes a step back, looking genuinely shaken by the fury directed at him. âIt was a mistake,â he insists, his voice desperate. âIt didnât mean anything. I love Y/N, and weâre supposed to be getting married. I justâI want to fix things.â
Your mother, usually calm and collected, is trembling with emotion. âYou think you can fix this?â she demands, her voice rising. âAfter what youâve done to her? After breaking her heart like this?â
You feel Sunghoonâs hand on your arm, a silent gesture of support as everything unfolds around you. His voice is low, but every word drips with barely controlled fury. âYou think you can just show up here and make everything better? She doesnât need you anymore. Get lost.â
âStay out of this. Itâs none of your business.â Daniel tells sunghoon, his jaw clenching at the sight of him pleading for forgiveness.
Daniel looks between you and your parents, his panic growing. âY/N, please,â he pleads. âWeâve been through so much together. You canât just-
Your father steps forward now, his voice firm and filled with authority. âGet off my property,â he says, his eyes narrowing as he stares down Daniel. âYouâve done enough damage.â
Daniel looks panicked, his desperation clear as he looks at you one last time. âY/Nââ
âGo,â you say quietly, your voice steady despite the turmoil in your heart. âJust⌠go.â
Sunghoon is still fuming beside you, but he doesnât move. He waits, fists clenched, as Daniel hesitates for a moment longer before finally turning and walking back down the street. His footsteps fade into the night, leaving behind an unbearable silence.
Your parents stand by the door, your motherâs hand on your fatherâs arm as they watch you carefully. Sunghoon stands stiffly beside you, his anger simmering just beneath the surface.
âIâm so sorry you had to find out like this,â you murmur, mostly to Sunghoon. He turns to look at you, his expression softening ever so slightly. Thereâs still anger in his eyes, but beneath it, you see something elseâconcern, hurt, maybe even guilt for not knowing sooner.
âWhy didnât you tell me?â he asks, his voice low, but thereâs no accusation in his tone. Just quiet frustration and sadness.
You swallow hard, the weight of everything finally hitting you. âI didnât want anyone to know,â you say, your voice barely above a whisper. âI just⌠I couldnât.â
Sunghoonâs gaze lingers on you for a moment longer before he finally lets out a slow breath. He doesnât say anything, but the tension between you begins to ease. Slowly, the weight on your chest starts to lift, even if only a little.
As the tense moment begins to settle, your parents usher everyone back inside, their expressions a mix of concern and disbelief. Sunghoon follows you quietly, his usual confident demeanor replaced by a somber silence. Inside, the atmosphere is heavy with unspoken words and lingering shock from Daniel's unexpected visit.
Your mother offers tea, her hands trembling slightly as she pours, trying to find some semblance of normalcy in the midst of the chaos. Sunghoon remains quiet, his eyes fixed on his tea as he sits opposite you at the kitchen table. The air feels charged with unresolved tension, each passing second stretching the fragile peace thinner.
âI canât believe he had the audacity to show up here,â your father finally breaks the silence, his voice rough with suppressed anger. âAfter what he did to you.â
You nod silently, unable to find the words to explain or justify Danielâs actions. The betrayal still feels fresh, the wound reopened by his sudden appearance.
Sunghoon finally speaks, his voice calm but tinged with an edge you canât quite place. âWhy didnât you tell me?â His eyes meet yours, searching for answers. âYou could have⌠I could have helped.â
You swallow hard, the guilt weighing heavily on you. âI didnât want to burden anyone,â you admit quietly. âAnd I didnât want you to hate me.â
Sunghoonâs expression softens slightly, a flicker of understanding crossing his features. âI could never hate you,â he says softly, his gaze unwavering. âBut I hate seeing you hurt.â
Your heart clenches at his words, a mixture of relief and sadness washing over you. âIâm sorry,â is all you manage to say, the weight of your emotions threatening to spill over.
Your mother places a gentle hand on your shoulder, offering silent comfort. âSweetheart, you donât have to apologize,â she says softly, her eyes filled with maternal concern. âWeâre just glad youâre home now.â
The tears youâd been holding back finally spill over, and you let out a shaky breath. âI just⌠I needed to come back,â you admit, the truth finally surfacing. âEverything fell apart, and I didnât know where else to go.â
Sunghoon reaches across the table, his hand hesitating for a moment before gently covering yours. His touch is warm and reassuring, grounding you in the midst of turmoil. âYouâre home now,â he says quietly, his voice steady. âAnd weâre here for you.â
You nod gratefully, overwhelmed by the support of your family and the unexpected comfort from Sunghoon. Despite everything, a sense of relief washes over youâthe first glimmer of hope that maybe, just maybe, you can begin to heal.
Ëŕ¨ŕ§âď˝ĄË â
The evening wears on, the tension gradually easing as conversations shift from the shock of Danielâs visit to lighter topics. Your parents share stories of neighbors and friends, trying to lighten the mood, while Sunghoon remains by your side, a silent presence that speaks volumes.
As the night draws to a close, you find yourself standing at the front door with Sunghoon, the faint glow of streetlights casting shadows around you. He looks at you, his eyes soft with unspoken understanding.
âThank you,â you say quietly, breaking the silence between you. âFor everything.â
Sunghoon offers a small smile, his hand brushing yours briefly. âYou donât have to thank me,â he replies gently. âIâm just glad youâre okay.â
You take a deep breath, the weight on your shoulders a little lighter than before. âI think Iâm going to be,â you admit, a tentative smile tugging at your lips.
Sunghoonâs smile widens slightly, a hint of relief in his eyes. âGood,â he says softly. âAnd if you ever need anything⌠Iâm just a phone call away.. Iâm also right next door.â
With a small smile, he turns to leave, and you watch him disappear into his house, a sense of gratitude filling your heart. As you close the door behind you and lean against it, you realize that while things may still be uncertain, youâre not facing them alone anymore. And for now, thatâs enough.
Ëŕ¨ŕ§âď˝ĄË â
Over the next few weeks, life began to settle into a routine, the shock of your sudden return starting to fade into the background. Each day, you found yourself easing back into the rhythm of your old life in ways you hadnât expected. It was strange at first, being in your childhood home again, but soon it began to feel familiarâcomforting, even. The late-night conversations with your mom, your dadâs predictable quips over breakfast, the peaceful quiet of your small neighborhood.
And then, there was Sunghoon.
At first, things between you remained cautious and quiet, both of you still navigating the unfamiliar territory of this new chapter in your lives. But bit by bit, as the days passed, the invisible walls that had sprung up between you began to crumble.
It started small. A casual conversation as you bumped into each other outside, a shared glance when you both found yourselves at the convenience store at the same time. Each interaction felt like a tentative step back toward something you thought was lost.
You had always been able to talk to Sunghoon so easily, and it wasnât long before the old rhythm between you began to resurface. The awkward tension that had once hung over you melted away, replaced by the comfortable ease youâd always shared. Whether it was a quick coffee at the cafĂŠ you used to frequent as teenagers, or the impromptu walks around the neighborhood, it felt like the years apart had never happened. The quiet moments spent together became familiar again, and with them came a warmth you hadnât realized you missed.
One afternoon, you were both sitting in the park where you used to spend hours as kids, watching the leaves fall as autumn began to set in. Sunghoon glanced over at you, a small smile tugging at the corner of his mouth.
âRemember when we used to race to see who could swing the highest?â he asked, his tone light but nostalgic.
You laughed, nodding as memories of your childhood flooded back. âYou always won. I swear you had superpowers or something.â
He chuckled softly, his gaze shifting to the old swingset. âI wasnât that fast. You were just slow.â
You nudged him playfully, rolling your eyes. âSays the guy who fell off the monkey bars twice trying to impress Yeji.â
Sunghoon winced dramatically, rubbing the back of his neck as if the memory still stung. âYeah, well⌠not one of my finer moments.â
Moments like these became more frequent. The playful banter, the shared laughs, the easy way you slipped back into each otherâs livesâit all felt natural, as if no time had passed. And with each passing day, the bond between you grew stronger, echoing the closeness you had once shared as children.
Some days, youâd find yourselves sitting on the porch steps of your house, talking until the sun dipped below the horizon. Other days, youâd meet up for late-night snacks at the convenience store, a habit that reminded you of your carefree teenage days.
But it wasnât just about the nostalgia or the familiarity. There was something deeper now, something unspoken but present in the way he looked at you or the way his gaze lingered a little longer than before. It was subtle, but undeniable.
Ëŕ¨ŕ§âď˝ĄË â
One evening, as you both sat under the stars in your backyard, Sunghoon turned to you, his expression thoughtful. âItâs weird, isnât it?â he said quietly.
You looked at him, curious. âWhat is?â
He hesitated for a moment, then shrugged lightly. âHow everything changes but somehow stays the same.â
You knew what he meant. The years had changed both of you, but sitting there with him, it felt like you were slipping back into the simplicity of what you had beforeâbefore life got complicated, before youâd left, before everything.
âYeah,â you agreed softly. âBut in a good way.â
He smiled at that, his gaze meeting yours for a brief, charged moment. âIn a good way,â he repeated quietly.
And just like that, the past weeks had brought you closer to him again. It felt like the Sunghoon you knewâyour childhood best friendâwas back in your life, but with something more layered beneath the surface now. The bond you shared had always been special, but as the days passed, you began to realize it wasnât just about the past. It was about the present, about where you were both headed next.
Little by little, it felt like old times, but it also felt like something new was beginning to bloom between you. Something you werenât ready to name yet, but couldnât deny.
Ëŕ¨ŕ§âď˝ĄË â
Sunghoon had always been good at hiding his feelings. Through all the years of friendship, he kept his crush buried deep, tucked away in the corners of his heart. It was easier that way. You had always been oblivious to it, lost in your own world of school, dreams, and later, the whirlwind of your life in the U.S. But now, with you back in his life after years apart, those old, buried feelings were starting to resurface, no matter how hard he tried to keep them at bay.
He remembered high school all too well. You were both juniors, sitting together at the school library late into the evening, pretending to study but really just talking about everything and nothing. Heâd watch you as you rambled on about whatever topic had captured your interest that day, completely unaware of the way his gaze would linger on your face, his heart doing that stupid fluttering thing whenever you laughed.
He could still recall one particular moment as clear as day. You had been struggling with an essay, the stress getting to you, and Sunghoon had tried to help. Youâd glanced up at him, frustration in your eyes, and heâd frozen. For a second, he swore his heart had stopped altogether. You were wearing his jacket that day because youâd forgotten yours at home, and he couldnât focus on anything but how right it looked on you. How much he wanted to tell you that you could keep it forever.
But instead, heâd just shrugged, offering a teasing, âMaybe youâre overthinking it. Itâs not a love letter or anything.â
You had thrown your pencil at him, rolling your eyes. âThanks for the help, genius,â youâd muttered with a laugh, completely oblivious to the way his heart had been racing just from sitting so close to you.
And that was how it always was. You, perfectly unaware. Him, painfully aware.
Now, as he spent more time with you, it was like those feelings had never left. Theyâd just been waiting, buried but not forgotten, and the longer you were back, the harder it became to ignore them. He found himself watching you again, the way he had back in high schoolâonly this time, it felt different. You were different. More grown, more guarded, but still the same girl heâd fallen for all those years ago.
The late-night walks, the quiet conversations under the stars, the way you leaned on him like you used toâall of it was stirring something in him. He tried to tell himself it was just nostalgia, that he was just getting caught up in the past, but the truth was, it was more than that.
It was the way you smiled when you caught him off guard, the way your laughter sounded like home, the way you instinctively reached for him whenever you needed comfort. It all felt too familiar, too easy, and too real.
One evening, as you both sat on the porch steps of your house, watching the sunset, Sunghoon glanced at you out of the corner of his eye. You were talking about something from work, your voice soft, but he wasnât really listening. His mind was somewhere elseâstuck on the way you looked in the fading light, like the girl heâd spent all of high school silently pining over.
It hit him then, harder than he expected, that those feelings hadnât gone anywhere. Not really. He had just buried them because heâd thought he had to. But now, sitting here with you again, laughing like you always did, he wondered if maybe those feelings never really had a chance to fade.
âSunghoon?â you asked, breaking him out of his thoughts.
âHuh?â He blinked, trying to focus on what you were saying.
âYou okay?â You tilted your head, giving him that look you always did when you could tell something was off.
âYeah, just spaced out,â he lied, offering a small smile.
You didnât push, but you gave him a soft smile in return, nudging him playfully. âYouâre not very good at pretending to listen.â
He chuckled, shaking his head. âSorry. Iâll do better next time.â
But as you laughed and went on with your story, Sunghoon couldnât stop the thoughts racing through his mind. How long could he keep pretending that nothing had changed? That his heart wasnât pulling him back to the same place it had always been?
It was different now, though. You werenât just the girl heâd fallen for in high school. You were the woman who had been through heartbreak, who had returned home looking for something familiar, something safe. And despite everything, Sunghoon realized that he still wanted to be that for you. He wanted to be the person you turned toânot just as a friend, but maybe something more.
But the question remained, did you see him that way, or would you always just see the boy next door, your childhood best friend?
His feelings had always been intenseâhe knew that much. But what he didnât expect was how overwhelming theyâd become now that you were back in his life. It wasnât just nostalgia or some fleeting crush he could brush off. No, this ran deeper, more complicated than he was willing to admit. Every time he was near you, his heart ached with the weight of everything heâd kept hidden for so long.
And thatâs why he started avoiding you.
It wasnât something he planned, but he couldnât help it. The more time you spent together, the harder it became to act like everything was normal. Like he wasnât on the verge of telling you exactly how he felt, of confessing that these feelings had never gone away. But how could he? Youâd just come out of one of the worst situations imaginable, and Sunghoon knew you needed time to heal. The last thing he wanted was to complicate things with his feelings, especially when you were clearly not ready for it.
So he pulled back.
It started with small thingsâcanceled plans, excuses about being busy with work, avoiding your messages for a little longer than usual. He didnât want to lie to you, but he also couldnât keep pretending that everything was fine. Every time he saw you, he felt like he was standing on the edge of something he wasnât ready for, and he knew you werenât either.
Yeji noticed first.
âYouâve been acting weird,â she said one evening as they grabbed coffee together. She leaned forward, narrowing her eyes at him. âWhatâs going on?â
Sunghoon shrugged, avoiding her gaze as he sipped his drink. âNothing. Just busy.â
Yeji scoffed. âBusy, huh? Is that why youâve been dodging Y/Nâs calls too?â
He flinched at that, his grip tightening on his cup. Of course, Yeji would notice. She was sharp like thatâalways had been.
âYouâre being ridiculous, you know,â she continued, crossing her arms. âSheâs your best friend. She just got back after everything with Daniel, and youâre avoiding her? Whatâs your problem?â
Sunghoon sighed, rubbing a hand over his face. âIâm not avoiding her,â he mumbled, though he knew it wasnât true.
Yeji raised an eyebrow, clearly not buying it. âReally? Because thatâs what it looks like from where Iâm standing.â
He stayed quiet, unsure of how to explain what was going on in his head. How could he possibly tell Yeji the truth when he hadnât even come to terms with it himself?
âLook, I get it,â Yeji said after a moment, her voice softening. âSheâs been through a lot, and maybe you think giving her space is the right thing to do. But Sunghoon, she needs you. You two have always been there for each other. Whatâs really going on?â
Sunghoon glanced up at her, his chest tight with the weight of what he was about to say. âItâs just⌠complicated.â
Yejiâs eyes widened slightly, as if realizing something. âOh my God. You still like her, donât you?â
The words hung in the air between them, heavy and undeniable. Sunghoon didnât answer at first, but the look on his face mustâve said enough because Yeji leaned back in her chair, her expression softening.
âYou never got over her,â she said quietly.
Sunghoon sighed again, feeling like the dam heâd been holding back was starting to crack. âNo,â he admitted, his voice low. âI never did.â
Yeji didnât say anything for a long moment, just watching him with a mixture of sympathy and understanding. Finally, she leaned forward, her tone gentle but firm. âYou know youâre gonna have to deal with this, right? Avoiding her isnât going to make it go away.â
âI know,â he muttered, running a hand through his hair. âBut itâs not that simple. Sheâs been through so much, Yeji. She doesnât need me coming in and messing everything up with how I feel.â
âShe needs her best friend,â Yeji countered. âYouâre not going to mess anything up by being there for her.â
âBut itâs more than that,â Sunghoon said, his voice tight. âI donât just want to be her best friend, Yeji. I want⌠more. And if I tell her that now, when sheâs still dealing with everything from Daniel, what if I make things worse?â
Yeji leaned back, crossing her arms again as she considered his words. âSunghoon,â she said after a beat, her voice gentle but serious, âyouâre not going to ruin anything by being honest with her. But youâre rightâsheâs not ready for something like that right now. So maybe you donât need to tell her everything just yet. But avoiding her? Thatâs not the answer either.â
Sunghoon frowned, knowing she was right but still feeling conflicted. âI just⌠I donât want to hurt her,â he said quietly.
âI know,â Yeji said softly. âBut trust me, youâre hurting her more by pulling away.â
Sunghoon looked down at his hands, feeling the weight of her words settle over him. He didnât want to hurt you, not after everything youâd already been through. But how could he face you when he could barely manage to keep his feelings under control?
âI just need some time,â he said, almost to himself. âTo figure this out.â
Yeji sighed but nodded, though her expression remained concerned. âJust donât take too long. Sheâs going to notice somethingâs off.â
Sunghoon nodded slowly, knowing deep down that Yeji was right. But for now, he wasnât sure what else to do. All he knew was that the feelings he had buried for so long were clawing their way back to the surface, and no matter how much he wanted to, he couldnât ignore them forever.Â
Ëŕ¨ŕ§âď˝ĄË â
The next few days felt different. You couldnât quite put your finger on it, but something was off with Sunghoon. He was distantâmore than usual. Whenever you tried to hang out like old times, he found an excuse. Too busy with work, too tired from errands, too anything but here.
At first, you tried to ignore it. Maybe he really was busy. Maybe it was just a phase. After all, coming back had changed a lot, for everyone. But the more it happened, the more unsettled you became. You werenât used to Sunghoon being like this, and you couldnât help but wonder if youâd done something wrong.
The morning after your last attempt to make plans, you found yourself sitting at the kitchen table, picking at breakfast while your mind raced. Your mom was bustling around, wiping the counters and humming softly to herself.
âYou look distracted, honey,â she said, glancing over at you. âEverything okay?â
You forced a smile, nodding. âYeah, just thinking.â
Your mom raised an eyebrow, giving you that knowing look she always did when she didnât quite believe you. âDoes this have anything to do with why Sunghoonâs been acting so strange?â
You blinked, caught off guard. âWhat?â
âCome on, Y/N,â she said, turning to face you with a small smile. âIâve known that boy his whole life. Heâs always been so close to you, but lately, heâs been keeping his distance. Somethingâs bothering him, and I think it might have to do with you.â
Your heart sank at her words, and suddenly, all the little things youâd been trying to ignore came rushing to the surface. You hadnât imagined it. Sunghoon was pulling away.
âI donât know, Mom,â you mumbled, fiddling with the edge of your napkin. âHeâs been busy, I guess.â
âMaybe,â she said thoughtfully, âbut busy doesnât explain why he avoids you whenever you come over. I donât think this is about work.â
You stared down at your plate, your chest tightening. The thought of losing Sunghoonâs presence after everything that had happened made your stomach twist. Heâd always been your rockâthe one person who understood you better than anyone. If he was pulling away, what did that mean?
âIâll talk to him,â you said softly, more to yourself than to your mom.
âGood,â your mom said with a warm smile. âIâm sure itâs nothing a good conversation canât fix.â
But as you made your way upstairs to get ready, you couldnât shake the feeling that it wasnât going to be that simple. Sunghoon wasnât the type to pull away without a reason, and you had a sinking suspicion that whatever was going on, it wasnât something heâd be willing to talk about easily.
Ëŕ¨ŕ§âď˝ĄË â
Later that afternoon, you found yourself sitting outside on the porch, staring off into the distance as you tried to make sense of it all. The crisp autumn air brushed against your skin, the quiet neighborhood almost too peaceful for the storm of emotions swirling inside you. The longer you thought about it, the more frustrated you became.
Sunghoon wasnât just distantâhe was avoiding you. And that hurt more than you were willing to admit. Youâd been through so much already, and now it felt like you were losing the one person whoâd always been there for you.
Determined not to let this go on any longer, you decided to confront him. You grabbed your phone, quickly typing out a message.
Hey, are you free to talk?
You stared at the screen, waiting for a reply, your heart pounding in your chest. Minutes passed, and just when you thought he might not respond, your phone buzzed.
Busy today. Maybe another time?
Your frustration flared. You knew he wasnât that busy. This was just another excuse.
Without thinking, you typed back.
Sunghoon, whatâs going on? Youâve been avoiding me for days. Did I do something wrong?
You hit send, your fingers trembling slightly. The silence that followed felt suffocating, each passing second adding to the weight in your chest.
Finally, after what felt like an eternity, his reply came.
No, you didnât do anything wrong. Iâm just⌠dealing with some stuff. Iâll explain later.
You frowned at the vague response, feeling even more confused. What kind of âstuffâ was he dealing with that he couldnât even talk to you about it? You started typing another message but stopped, realizing that pushing him wouldnât help. If he wasnât ready to talk, there wasnât much you could do.
But that didnât make the sting of his distance any less painful.
You put your phone down, staring out at the quiet street once more. Sunghoon was hiding somethingâsomething big. And no matter how hard you tried to convince yourself it wasnât your fault, you couldnât shake the feeling that it was connected to you.
For the rest of the day, your mind wouldnât let it go. What could possibly make him pull away like this? You had no idea what was going on with him, but one thing was clear: you needed to get to the bottom of it. Because the longer this went on, the more it felt like you were losing him. And you couldnât bear the thought of that, not nowânot after everything youâd been through.
Ëŕ¨ŕ§âď˝ĄË â
The next few days were a blur of half-hearted attempts to distract yourself, but Sunghoonâs distance lingered at the back of your mind. Each time you saw him, whether by chance or at family gatherings, it felt like there was this invisible wall between you two, and it hurt more than you wanted to admit.
He wasnât avoiding you entirely, but something was definitely off. The easy-going conversations you used to have were now strained. He barely looked at you, his responses shorter, and you couldnât help but notice how he always found some reason to leave early.
It was Saturday afternoon when Yeji invited you out for coffee. Sheâd noticed the tension too, but unlike you, she wasnât willing to let it slide.
âSo, you and Sunghoon,â she said as soon as you sat down, not even bothering with small talk. âWhatâs going on?â
You blinked, surprised by her directness. âWhat do you mean?â
Yeji gave you a look, crossing her arms. âYou know exactly what I mean, Y/N. Heâs been acting weird since you got back, and donât even try to tell me you havenât noticed.â
You sighed, staring down at your drink. âI donât know. Iâve tried to talk to him, but he just says heâs dealing with stuff. He wonât tell me whatâs wrong.â
Yeji tilted her head, her eyes narrowing in thought. âYou think itâs about Daniel?â she asks you, trying to allude to something more.
The mention of his name made your chest tighten. âI donât know. Maybe? He was weird even before he knew about Daniel.â
âHmm.â Yeji leaned back in her chair, crossing her arms. âThat boyâs always been complicated, but Iâve never seen him this off with you. Itâs like heâs avoiding somethingâsomething big.â
You frowned, feeling even more lost. âBut what? What could it be? I didnât do anything.â
Yeji tapped her fingers on the table, her gaze thoughtful. âMaybe itâs not about something you did. Maybe itâs something heâs dealing with.â
You shook your head. âHe wonât talk to me about it. He just keeps saying heâs busy, but itâs more than that. I can feel it.â
âOf course itâs more than that,â Yeji said, her voice firm. âSunghoonâs always been a terrible liar. Heâs hiding something, and my guess? It has something to do with how he feels about you.â
You blinked, staring at her in confusion. âWhat? What do you mean?â
Yeji sighed, giving you a soft smile. âCome on, Y/N. You really think heâs just your childhood best friend? That boy has been in love with you since high school.â
Your stomach dropped at her words. âNo, he hasnât,â you said quickly, shaking your head. âWeâre just friends. Heâs neverââ
âHeâs never told you,â Yeji finished for you, her tone gentle but serious. âBut trust me, itâs been there. Heâs always liked you, but he never acted on it because he didnât want to ruin what you two had. And now, with everything youâve been through, heâs probably even more scared of saying something.â
You stared at her, stunned into silence. The idea of Sunghoon having feelings for youâreal feelingsâhad never crossed your mind. Sure, youâd always been close, but heâd never given you any reason to think it was more than that. Right?
Yeji sighed, reaching across the table to pat your hand. âLook, Iâm not saying you have to do anything about it. But you need to talk to him. Heâs avoiding you because he doesnât know how to handle what heâs feeling. And im truly so sick of him moping around like a puppy.
You swallowed hard, your mind racing. Was it true? Had Sunghoon really been hiding his feelings all this time? And if he had, what did that mean for you? You couldnât even begin to process the possibility, not after everything that had happened with Daniel. You werenât ready for thisâcouldnât be.
âI donât know,â you mumbled, feeling overwhelmed. âI donât even know if Iâm ready to talk about it.â
Yeji gave you a sympathetic smile. âI get it. But Sunghoon is your best friend, and if you donât at least clear the air, this is just going to keep getting worse. Whatever happens, you both deserve to be honest with each other.â
You nodded slowly, knowing deep down that she was right. Avoiding the situation wasnât helping anyone. If Sunghoon was really struggling with his feelings, the least you could do was try to talk to him about it. But even as you told yourself that, a knot of anxiety settled in your chest.
Because if Sunghoon really had feelings for you, this was going to change everything. And after everything youâd already been through, you werenât sure if you were ready for more change.
But one thing was clear: something had to give. You couldnât keep pretending like everything was normal when it so clearly wasnât.
âIâll talk to him,â you finally said, your voice quiet but determined.
Yeji smiled, squeezing your hand. âGood. Youâll figure it out.â
But as you sat there, sipping your coffee and trying to keep your thoughts from spiraling, you couldnât shake the feeling that things were about to get a lot more complicated.
Ëŕ¨ŕ§âď˝ĄË â
That night, you found yourself staring at your phone, Sunghoonâs contact pulled up, your thumb hovering over the call button. The weight of Yejiâs words hung heavy in your mindâheâs always liked youâand the longer you thought about it, the more restless you became.
What if it was true? What if Sunghoon had been hiding his feelings all this time? The idea seemed impossible, but then again, youâd never imagined him pulling away like this either.
With a frustrated sigh, you locked your phone and tossed it onto the bed, running your hands through your hair. You couldnât just call him out of the blue. It had to be face-to-face. You had to know for sure, but the thought of confronting him sent a surge of anxiety through your chest. What would you even say?
Unable to stand the suffocating silence of your room, you grabbed your jacket and slipped out of the house, your feet carrying you in a familiar direction. The night air was cool against your skin as you headed toward the parkâthe same park where you, Sunghoon, and Yeji had spent countless afternoons as kids.
It was quiet when you arrived, the swing set creaking gently in the breeze. You hesitated for a moment before sitting down on one of the swings, the chains groaning under your weight as you gently kicked at the dirt beneath your feet. Memories of your childhood came flooding backâthe three of you racing to the swings, fighting over who could go higher, laughing until your sides hurt.
And then, Sunghoonâs face flashed in your mindâhis shy smile, his teasing words, the way heâd always looked out for you, even when you didnât realize it. Could Yeji really be right? Had he been feeling this way for years?
You were so lost in thought that you didnât hear the footsteps approaching until someone sat down on the swing next to you. You looked up, startled, only to see Sunghoon, his expression unreadable as he stared ahead.
For a moment, neither of you spoke, the silence between you heavy and awkward. You werenât sure whether to be relieved or more anxious that heâd found you here.
âI didnât think youâd be out this late,â Sunghoon finally said, his voice quiet.
âI couldnât sleep,â you replied, your fingers curling around the swingâs chain. âNeeded some air.â
He nodded, his gaze still fixed on the horizon. âMe too.â
You wanted to ask himâneeded toâbut the words felt stuck in your throat. Instead, you sat there, side by side in silence, the tension between you growing thicker with each passing second.
Finally, you couldnât take it anymore. âSunghoon, whatâs going on?â you asked, your voice barely above a whisper.
He didnât answer right away. His jaw clenched, his hands gripping the chains of his swing tightly. When he finally spoke, his voice was low, almost strained. âIâve been trying to figure that out myself.â
Your heart skipped a beat at the cryptic response. âIs it me?â you asked, turning to face him fully. âDid I do something wrong?â
His eyes snapped to yours, wide and alarmed. âNo, Y/N, you didnât do anything wrong.â
âThen why are you avoiding me?â you pressed, frustration bubbling to the surface. âYouâve been acting so strange ever since I came back. I donât get it.â
Sunghoon sighed, his gaze dropping to the ground as he raked a hand through his hair. âItâs not that simple.â
âThen explain it to me,â you said, your voice soft but pleading. âPlease, Sunghoon. I donât want to lose you.â
His expression tightened at your words, and for a long moment, he didnât say anything. You could see the internal battle playing out behind his eyes, the conflict heâd been hiding so well suddenly visible. When he finally spoke, his voice was raw, vulnerable in a way youâd never heard before.
âI donât want to hurt you, Y/N.â
His words hung heavy in the air, and your heart clenched in your chest. âYouâre not hurting me. Youâre my best friend, Sunghoon. Whatever it is, we can get through it.â
He let out a bitter laugh, shaking his head. âThatâs the problem. I donât know if we can.â
You frowned, confusion swirling in your mind. âWhat do you mean?â
Sunghoonâs eyes met yours, and for the first time, you saw the weight of everything heâd been holding back. His next words came out in a rush, as if heâd been holding them in for far too long.
âIâve always liked you, Y/N. More than just a friend. Since high school, maybe even before then. But I never told you because⌠because I didnât want to mess things up. And then you left, and I thought Iâd gotten over it. But now that youâre backâŚâ He trailed off, his voice catching in his throat. âItâs like all those feelings just came rushing back, and I donât know what to do with them. I canât act on them, not after everything youâve been through with Daniel. Itâs not fair to you.â
Your heart pounded in your chest, Sunghoonâs confession hanging in the air between you like a fragile thread. Youâd always thought of him as your best friend, the one constant in your life that had never changed. But now⌠now everything was different.
âSunghoonâŚâ you whispered, at a loss for words.
âIâm sorry,â he said quickly, standing up from the swing as if he couldnât bear to stay any longer. âI shouldnât have said anything. Iâllââ
âNo,â you said, cutting him off, standing up too. âDonât run away. Not again.â
He looked at you, his expression torn, and for a moment, you saw the vulnerability in his eyesâthe fear of rejection, the fear of losing you completely. You took a deep breath, trying to steady your racing heart.
âSunghoon, I⌠I donât know what to say,â you admitted, your voice trembling. âI never knew you felt that way.â
âI didnât want you to know,â he said quietly. âBut now⌠now I canât hide it anymore.â
The silence between you was deafening, the weight of his confession settling heavily on your shoulders. You didnât know how to respond, not after everything youâd been through. But one thing was certain: nothing between you and Sunghoon would ever be the same again.
Ëŕ¨ŕ§âď˝ĄË â
The days that followed felt surreal. Sunghoonâs confession lingered in your mind like a persistent echo, one that you couldnât quite shake off. Every time you replayed his words, your chest tightened, and your thoughts spiraled into confusion. You didnât know how to feelâabout him, about your past, or even about yourself. You spent so many years thinking of Sunghoon as your constant, your rock, your best friend, and now all of that felt uncertain.
Sunghoon avoided you even more than before, making sure he was never in the same place as you for too long. At first, you gave him space, understanding that things were complicated. But the distance started to gnaw at you. Heâd always been the one person you could rely on, and now, when you needed him most, he was pulling away.
It was Yeji who finally brought it up, sitting across from you at the cafĂŠ as she studied your downcast expression.
âYou look like youâve been hit by a truck,â she said bluntly, sipping her iced coffee.
You sighed, pushing your own drink around the table without taking a sip. âIâm fine.â
âYouâre not,â she said flatly. âAnd let me guess, it has something to do with Sunghoon?â
You didnât answer right away, but the slight flicker in your eyes was enough for Yeji to know she was right. She groaned, leaning forward.
âI swear, if you two donât figure this out, Iâm going to lock you in a room until you do.â
You managed a weak smile at her joke, but it faded quickly. âItâs complicated, Yeji.â
âEverything is complicated with you two. But the longer you let this sit, the worse itâs going to get.â
âI donât even know what to say to him,â you admitted, sinking into your seat. âHe told me how he feels, but⌠Iâm not ready for that. I donât know if Iâll ever be.â
Yeji studied you carefully, her expression softening. âYouâve been through a lot with Daniel. No one expects you to be ready for something like this. But Sunghoon is⌠well, heâs not Daniel. You know heâd never hurt you.â
Your throat tightened at her words. âThatâs what makes it worse. I donât want to hurt him either.â
âYou wonât,â Yeji said confidently. âNot if youâre honest with him. He knows what youâve been through, and heâll understand. But avoiding each other like this isnât helping anyone.â
You rubbed your temples, feeling the weight of it all pressing down on you. âI donât know, Yeji. Itâs just⌠too much.â
She reached across the table, placing her hand on top of yours. âTake it one step at a time. Sunghoonâs not going anywhere. He just needs to know where you stand.â
You nodded, knowing deep down that she was right. The tension between you and Sunghoon had become unbearable, and if you didnât talk to him soon, it would only get worse.
Ëŕ¨ŕ§âď˝ĄË â
Later that evening, you found yourself standing in front of Sunghoonâs house, your heart racing. You hadnât planned to come here, but your feet had carried you here almost on instinct. His confession had thrown everything into chaos, and you needed to clear the air, for both your sakes.
You took a deep breath before knocking on the door. The wait felt excruciatingly long, but finally, the door opened to reveal Sunghoon, his expression shifting from surprise to something more guarded.
âY/N,â he said, his voice hesitant. âWhat are you doing here?â
âI needed to talk to you,â you replied, trying to steady your voice. âCan we?â
He looked uncertain for a moment, but eventually, he stepped aside, letting you in. You followed him to the living room, the air between you heavy with unspoken words.
Sunghoon stood by the window, his hands stuffed into his pockets, avoiding your gaze. âWhat is it?â
You took a seat on the couch, feeling your pulse quicken. âAbout what you told me the other nightâŚâ
He tensed, his shoulders stiffening. âYou donât have to say anything. I get it.â
âNo,â you interrupted, your voice firmer than you intended. âYou donât get it. You canât just drop something like that on me and then disappear, Sunghoon. Weâve been friends for years. I deserve to know whatâs going on with you.â
Sunghoon sighed, finally turning to face you. âI was trying to give you space. I didnât want to make things harder for you after everything with Daniel.â
âI appreciate that,â you said, your voice softening. âBut shutting me out isnât helping either of us.â
There was a long pause as Sunghoon ran a hand through his hair, clearly struggling with his own emotions. âI didnât know what else to do, Y/N. Iâve been holding this in for so long, and now that itâs out, I donât know how to act around you.â
âYou donât have to act any differently,â you said quietly. âBut you also canât avoid me forever.â
Sunghoon stared at you, a conflicted look in his eyes. âI just⌠I donât want to make things worse. I know youâre not ready for⌠anything like this, and Iâm not going to push you. But itâs hard, Y/N. Itâs hard being around you and pretending like everything is the same when Iâve been feeling this way for so long.â
You looked down, your heart heavy with guilt. âI donât want to lose you, Sunghoon. Youâre one of the most important people in my life, and I canât imagine things without you. But Iâm not ready for more, not after everything that happened.â
âI know,â Sunghoon said softly, his expression pained. âAnd Iâll wait. Iâll always wait for you, Y/N. But that doesnât make it any easier.â
The vulnerability in his voice hit you hard, and for the first time, you saw just how deep his feelings ran. He wasnât asking for anything from youâhe was just being honest, and it was tearing him apart. You took a shaky breath, feeling the weight of it all crashing down on you.
âIâm sorry, Sunghoon,â you whispered, your voice breaking. âI wish things were different.â
He shook his head, stepping closer to you. âDonât be sorry. Itâs not your fault. I just⌠I just needed you to know.â
The silence stretched between you, both of you caught in the painful reality of the situation. Neither of you knew what the future held, but for now, all you could do was take it one step at a time.
Ëŕ¨ŕ§âď˝ĄË â
The days passed in an uneasy quiet, the tension between you and Sunghoon lingering like an unspoken secret. He no longer avoided you as much, but the once easy-going banter you shared felt stilted, weighed down by everything unsaid. You couldnât stop thinking about his confession. It felt like a constant reminder of how complicated everything had become. No matter how much you tried to focus on anything else, Sunghoonâs words echoed in your mind, making it impossible to pretend like things were back to normal.
One evening, as you sat in your room, you heard a knock on the door. Your mom poked her head in, smiling warmly.
âDinnerâs ready, sweetheart,â she said, her eyes soft with concern. âYou okay?â
You plastered on a smile, nodding. âYeah, just lost in thought.â
She gave you a knowing look. âYouâve been doing a lot of that lately. Is everything okay between you and Sunghoon?â
Your heart skipped a beat. âWhy do you ask?â
âYou two have always been inseparable, but things seem⌠different now. You can talk to me, you know.â
You bit your lip, unsure of how much to say. You hadnât told your parents anything about Sunghoonâs confession, and you werenât sure you could without making things more complicated. âItâs nothing, Mom. Weâre fine. Just adjusting, I guess.â
She raised an eyebrow but didnât push further. âAlright, but you know weâre here for you. If you need to talk about anythingâabout Sunghoon or anything elseâyou can always come to us.â
You nodded, feeling the weight of her words settle over you. She meant well, but the last thing you wanted was to burden your parents with the tangled mess of your emotions.
After dinner, you found yourself wandering outside, needing fresh air to clear your head. Without thinking, you walked down the familiar path to the park, your steps slow and deliberate. The quiet of the evening felt comforting, a stark contrast to the storm of thoughts swirling inside you. You found your way back to the swings, sitting down as you often did when you needed to think.
As you rocked gently back and forth, your mind drifted back to high school. Back to the carefree days when things between you, Sunghoon, and Yeji had been simple. The memories were vividâlate nights studying together, hanging out at the park after school, and how Sunghoon had always been there, a steady presence by your side. Back then, youâd never questioned his loyalty, never thought twice about the way he always seemed to put you first. But now, looking back, you wondered how you hadnât noticed the way he looked at you, the quiet way his feelings had been growing all along.
You remembered one particular moment, just before you left for the U.S. Sunghoon had walked you home after a late study session, the two of you chatting about nothing in particular. It had been a chilly night, and heâd offered you his jacket without hesitation. Youâd laughed, teased him for being too polite, but his expression had been serious, almost sad. At the time, you hadnât thought much of it, chalking it up to the fact that youâd be leaving soon. But now, in hindsight, you realized it had been more than that. Sunghoon had been struggling with his feelings, even back then, and youâd been completely oblivious.
A pang of guilt hit you as you thought about how long he mustâve held everything inside, how hard it mustâve been for him to see you leave, knowing you didnât feel the same way. And now, after everything that had happened with Daniel, Sunghoon was still there, waiting for you in the background, even though you couldnât give him what he wanted.
âWhy does everything have to be so complicated?â you muttered to yourself, staring up at the darkening sky.
Just as you were about to lose yourself in more memories, you heard footsteps approaching from behind. You didnât have to turn around to know who it was. Sunghoon.
âYouâre here again,â he said, his voice quiet but familiar as he sat on the swing next to you.
âI needed to think,â you replied softly, your eyes still focused on the ground. âThis place⌠it helps.â
Sunghoon nodded, his gaze drifting up toward the sky. âYeah. Itâs always been like that, hasnât it?â
A comfortable silence fell between you, though it was laced with the tension of everything unsaid. For a moment, it felt like old timesâjust the two of you, sitting together in quiet understanding. But you knew things were different now, no matter how much you wanted to pretend otherwise.
Finally, you broke the silence, your voice tentative. âSunghoon⌠I know things have been weird lately. And I hate it.â
He didnât respond right away, but you could feel the weight of his gaze on you. âI know.â
âI justââ You hesitated, trying to find the right words. âI donât want to lose you. I donât want things to be like this between us.â
Sunghoon sighed, running a hand through his hair. âI donât want that either, Y/N. But I donât know how to make it less weird. I canât just forget what I said.â
âIâm not asking you to,â you said quickly. âBut maybe we can figure this out. I need you, Sunghoon. I donât know what Iâd do without you.â
He looked at you, his expression conflicted. âI need you too. But thatâs the problem.â
Your heart clenched at his words. You could see the struggle in his eyesâthe fight between his feelings for you and his desire to protect you from more pain. It wasnât fair to him, and you knew it. But you didnât know how to fix it, how to make things go back to the way they were.
âIâm sorry,â you whispered, the guilt heavy in your chest.
Sunghoon shook his head, his voice soft but firm. âDonât be. Itâs not your fault. None of this is.â
You sat there in silence, the distance between you feeling both vast and fragile. There was so much you wanted to say, so much you needed to figure out. But for now, all you could do was sit side by side, both of you trying to navigate the complicated mess of feelings that had always been there, just beneath the surface.
Ëŕ¨ŕ§âď˝ĄË â
Weeks passed, and the uneasy tension that once lingered between you and Sunghoon gradually began to fade. Little by little, things started to feel like they were falling back into place, though not quite the same as before. The awkward silences became comfortable again, and the shared moments between you started to carry a different weight.
You found yourself paying closer attention to him in ways you never had before. The small gesturesâhow heâd bring you coffee without asking, or how heâd go out of his way to make sure you were comfortableâbegan to take on a deeper meaning. Sunghoon wasnât just being your best friend; he was being your support, your constant, the one person who had always been there for you, even when you didnât realize how much you needed him.
It was in those moments that your feelings began to shift. At first, you tried to brush them off, telling yourself it was just gratitude, that you were still recovering from everything with Daniel. But the more time you spent with Sunghoon, the harder it became to ignore the warmth that bloomed in your chest every time he smiled at you, or the way your heart raced whenever your hands accidentally brushed.
One evening, the two of you sat in your backyard, a quiet evening settling in around you. Sunghoon had insisted on helping your father with a project earlier, and afterward, he stayed for dinner, as he often did. Now, the two of you were sitting on the porch, the cool breeze gently rustling the leaves above you.
Sunghoon leaned back, his eyes drifting to the sky. âYouâve been quiet tonight,â he said softly, glancing at you. âEverything okay?â
You smiled at the concern in his voice, feeling that familiar warmth spread through you again. âYeah, Iâm just⌠thinking.â
He turned slightly to face you, raising an eyebrow. âAbout what?â
You hesitated, unsure how to put your feelings into words. You werenât ready to say everything out loud yet, but you couldnât shake the overwhelming sense of gratitude and admiration you felt for him. âJust about how things have changed⌠and how much youâve been there for me.â
Sunghoonâs gaze softened, and he shrugged casually, though you could see a flicker of something deeper in his eyes. âThatâs what friends do, right?â
You nodded, but the word âfriendsâ felt wrong now. There was something more between you, something that had been growing quietly in the background, and it was starting to become impossible to deny. You werenât sure when it had happened, or maybe it had always been there, buried beneath the surface. But what you did know was that Sunghoon wasnât just your friend anymore.
Ëŕ¨ŕ§âď˝ĄË â
More time passed and you found yourself seeking him out more, spending more time with him than anyone else. You began to crave his company, his quiet strength, and the way he seemed to understand you without needing to ask. And it wasnât just the grand gestures that made your heart flutterâit was the small things. The way he always checked if you were okay, how he listened when you talked, really listened, and how heâd make sure you werenât alone whenever you seemed down.
It was these little acts of kindness, the quiet care he showed you, that made your feelings for him grow into something undeniable.
One evening, the two of you found yourselves at the park again, sitting on the swings like you used to as kids. The sky was a deep shade of pink and orange, the sun setting in the distance. Sunghoon was talking about somethingâwork, maybeâbut you werenât really listening. Instead, you were focused on him, on the way his hair fell into his eyes, the way his voice softened when he talked to you.
You realized, suddenly and overwhelmingly, that you cared for him in a way you hadnât cared for anyone else. It wasnât just that Sunghoon had been there for you, but the way he had always, quietly and without expectation, supported you, no matter what. He didnât ask for anything in return, didnât push you for answers or confessions. He just⌠cared.
And thatâs when you knew. You had feelings for Sunghoon. They had been there all along, waiting for you to realize it.
Sunghoon must have noticed the look on your face because he stopped mid-sentence, turning to you with a curious expression. âWhat is it?â
You blinked, startled out of your thoughts. âWhat?â
âYouâre staring at me,â he said, a hint of amusement in his voice.
You felt your cheeks heat up, quickly looking away. âI wasnât.â
He laughed softly, but didnât push further. Instead, he leaned back on the swing, the smile fading as a comfortable silence settled between you. You wanted to say something, to tell him what was on your mind, but the words wouldnât come. Not yet.
For now, you were content just being here with him, the weight of your growing feelings a secret you werenât quite ready to share. But you knew, deep down, that it wouldnât be long before those feelings couldnât be hidden any longer.
Ëŕ¨ŕ§âď˝ĄË â
It was a cozy Friday evening, and the house felt unusually quiet. Your parents and Sunghoonâs parents had decided to take a weekend trip together, leaving the two of you alone for the night. You had taken advantage of the opportunity to host a movie night, and the living room was filled with the inviting smell of popcorn and the soft glow of fairy lights strung around the room.
You settled onto the couch, a soft blanket draped over your legs, while Sunghoon reclined next to you, the space between you filled with a warm tension. The movie played in the background, but you found it hard to focus on the screen. Instead, your gaze kept drifting to himâthe way the light danced in his hair, the casual way he laughed at the jokes, and the ease of his presence next to you.
As the minutes turned into hours, you felt the atmosphere shift. Each time you glanced at him, your heart raced a little more. You couldnât ignore the way your feelings for him had transformed over the last few weeks, the moments you had shared sparking something deeper than friendship.
Finally, during a quieter moment in the movie, you turned to him, heart pounding. âSunghoon,â you said softly, your voice barely above a whisper. He turned his head, eyebrows raised in curiosity, his expression inviting you to continue.
You hesitated for a moment, unsure if you should voice what had been on your mind for so long. But the warmth of his gaze, the way he was looking at you, made the decision feel inevitable. âI need to tell you something,â you began, feeling your heart race.
He tilted his head slightly, encouraging you. âWhat is it?â
You took a deep breath, trying to steady your nerves. âIâve been thinking a lot about us⌠and how I feel about you.â Your voice trembled slightly as you spoke, but you pressed on. âWhen I came back to Korea, everything felt so chaotic. But you⌠you were there for me in a way I didnât expect. And the more time we spend together, the more I realize that I care about you, Sunghoon. A lot.â
His eyes widened slightly, surprise flickering across his face. âY/N, Iââ
Before he could respond, you continued, your heart pounding in your chest. âI know Iâve been through a lot, and I donât want to rush anything. But I canât pretend anymore. I have feelings for youâfeelings that go beyond friendship. I want to explore this⌠whatever this is between us.â
A moment of silence stretched between you, filled with the weight of your confession. You could see the shock in his expression slowly melting into something softer, something hopeful.
âIâve wanted to hear you say that,â he finally said, his voice low and sincere. âI care about you too, Y/N. Iâve felt this way for a long time, but I didnât know if youâd feel the same after everything thatâs happened.â
Your heart soared at his words, relief flooding through you. âReally?â you asked, your voice barely above a whisper.
He nodded, a small smile spreading across his lips. âReally.â
In that moment, everything else faded away. You felt a magnetic pull between you, drawing you closer together. Without thinking, you leaned in, your heart racing as you closed the space between you.
Sunghoon met you halfway, his lips brushing against yours with a gentle hesitance that quickly melted into a deeper kiss. It was electricâfilled with all the unspoken emotions you had both held back for so long. The world outside your living room ceased to exist, leaving only the warmth of his body and the rhythm of your hearts.
You melted into him, feeling the softness of the couch beneath you as he deepened the kiss, hands finding their way to your waist, pulling you closer. You could feel the heat radiating between you, igniting something passionate and alive that you hadnât anticipated.
You  moaned softly into Sunghoon's mouth, the sound fueling his desire even further. Breaking the kiss for air, you stared into each other's eyes, both breathless and flushed. "Your room," Sunghoon whispered hoarsely. "Let's go to your room."
Hand in hand, you made your way to your childhood bedroom, a space that held countless memories of your friendship. The room was a sanctuary, adorned with pictures and trinkets from your shared adventures. Sunghoon closed the door behind you, sealing your private world from the outside.
You leaned against the door, heart racing as he approached her. He gently cupped your face, his thumbs brushing against your soft cheeks. "I've dreamed of this moment for so long," he murmured, his voice husky with desire.Your lips met again, this time with a hunger that burned through your restraint. Sunghoon's hands roamed over your body, exploring the curves and contours of your hips and waist. His fingers played with the hem of your tshirt, as if he was silently asking permission to take it off of you. You nod, his hands wasting no time in peeking the fabric to reveal the lacy black bra you wore beneath.Â
Your breath caught in your throat as his fingertips traced the delicate lace, sending shivers down her spine.
With deft fingers, Sunghoon unhooked your bra, freeing your breasts. You gasp at the cold air that suddenly hits you. He gazed at them with reverence, his eyes dark with desire. Leaning down, he took one nipple into his mouth, suckling gently while his thumb teased the other.  You arch your back at the sensation, moaning softly as waves of pleasure rippled through you.
"You're so beautiful, Y/N," Sunghoon whispered against you skin. "I want to make you feel so good."
Feeling a sudden burst of eagerness, your hands found their way to Sunghoon's belt, unbuckling it with trembling fingers. You undid his jeans and slid your hand inside, wrapping your fingers around his hardening cock through his boxers. Sunghoon gasped, his breath hot against your neck, placing a small, wet kiss there as you began to stroke him. âS-shit baby.â
You slip your hand out, guiding Sunghoon towards your bed, you pushed him gently onto the mattress, positions now reversed. You straddled his waist, grinding your hips against his, feeling his erection press against your clothed cunt. His hands roamed over your thighs, inching upwards, exploring the soft skin beneath her shorts that had been driving him insane since the moment he stepped foot inside your house.Â
With a gentle tug, you lifted your hips as he removed your shorts as well as the cute black panties that matched your bra, revealing your bare pussy, glistening with desire. Sunghoon's eyes darkened further as he took in the sight, his breath coming in short gasps. "You're so wet, Y/N. want to taste you so bad."
âlater, you say as you slide down his body, positioning yourself between his legs. You leaned forward, your long hair cascading over your shoulders, as you began to kiss and lick the length of his shaft. Sunghoon groaned, his hands gripping the bedsheets as you took him deep into your mouth, tongue swirling around the head of his cock. âFeels so good babyâ
Sunghoon couldn't hold back any longer. He sat up, positioning you on the bed, and parted your thighs with gentle kisses. His tongue traced the outer folds of your pussy, teasing your sensitive skin. You squirmed with pleasure,  hips bucking against his face as he found your clit and began to suckle it with relentless passion.
"Oh, Sunghoon!" you cried out,  voice hoarse with desire. "Fuck don't stop, please!"
Sunghoon continued his relentless assault on your clit, sending you spiraling towards an intense orgasm âtastes so fucking good, all wet just for me.â Your body trembled,  crying out his name as waves of pleasure washed over you. Sunghoon didn't let up, continuing to lick and suck until you were a quivering mess, your body drenched in sweat and satisfaction.
After a few moments to recover, you reached for Sunghoon, pulling him up to kiss him in a more hungry kiss. You could taste yourself on his lips, and it drove you wild with desire all over again. "I want you inside me," you whispered between kisses. "Now."
Sunghoon needed no further encouragement. He positioned himself at your entrance, his cock throbbing with anticipation. With one smooth thrust, he filled you completely, eliciting a gasp from your parted lips. you moved in perfect harmony, your bodies slick with sweat as ge fucked you with raw, unbridled passion.
"Harder, baby" you pleaded, nails digging into his shoulders. "fuck me harder.â Sunghoon obliged, pounding into you with abandon, his hips slamming against yours.Â
The headboard banged against the wall, marking the rhythm of your frantic coupling. your cries filled the room as you rode the waves of pleasure,  orgasm building to an intense crescendo.
âFuck baby your pussys clenching so hard around my cock, im so fucking close.â You could feel his thrusts becoming sloppier, your own orgasm approaching just a quick. âgonna c-cum hoonie.â He couldn't hold back any longer. With a final, powerful thrust, he came deep inside you, his hot cum painting your walls white.Â
He collapsed onto the bed, bodies entwined, both breathing heavily as the aftershocks of pleasure rippled through each of you. âIf I wouldâve known youâd fuck me that good maybe I wouldâve given you a chance much earlier.â You tell him out of breath, eliciting a chuckle from him.Â
Ëŕ¨ŕ§âď˝ĄË â
The soft morning light streamed through the curtains, casting a gentle glow in your room. You stirred awake, feeling warmth enveloping you. Sunghoon was nestled beside you, his arm draped protectively around your waist, holding you close. The memory of the night before flooded your mindâthe kiss, the confessions, and the spark of something beautiful igniting between you.
You smiled to yourself, feeling a sense of contentment that you hadnât experienced in a long time. But as you settled deeper into his embrace, a sudden noise from downstairs jolted you from your blissful reverie.
âY/N, I think your parents are back,â Sunghoon murmured sleepily, rubbing his eyes as he became more alert.
Your heart raced as the reality of the situation hit you. âOh fuck, Theyâre not supposed to be back yetâ you whispered, panic rising in your chest.
Sunghoonâs eyes widened, and he immediately sat up, glancing around the room. âWe need to hurryâ
You both scrambled to untangle yourselves from the sheets, adrenaline coursing through you. As you hopped out of bed, you glanced at each other, both of you laughing nervously at the chaotic situation. There was an unspoken agreementâyou needed to act casual, like nothing unusual had happened.
âOkay, you get dressed first,â you said, tossing him a T-shirt and a pair of sweatpants that had been strewn on the floor. âIâll throw on something too.â
You quickly changed into a comfy hoodie and leggings, your heart still racing as you heard your parentsâ voices growing louder downstairs. The last thing you wanted was for them to walk in on you two after the night you just shared.
âAre you ready?â Sunghoon asked, his hair slightly tousled as he pulled on the T-shirt. He looked adorable, and it took everything in you not to linger on how cute he was at that moment.
âAlmost!â you replied, giving your reflection a quick check in the mirror before moving to the door. âLetâs go!â
You both rushed down the stairs, trying to make as little noise as possible, your hearts pounding in your chests. As you reached the bottom step, you could hear your parents chatting in the kitchen, their voices bright and cheerful.
âY/N, are you home?â your mom called out just as you and Sunghoon entered the living room, trying to appear nonchalant.
âYeah, Mom! Just hanging out!â you replied, forcing a casual tone, hoping it didnât sound too forced.
You glanced over at Sunghoon, who was giving you a small, reassuring smile, but you could see the nervousness in his eyes. You both moved into the kitchen, where your parents were unpacking bags, completely oblivious to the whirlwind of emotions that had just taken place in your room.
âHey, Sunghoon! youâre here,â your dad said, giving him a friendly nod. âDid you keep Y/N entertained while we were gone?â
âOf course!â Sunghoon replied, a little too quickly, his eyes darting to you for a brief moment. âWe had a fun movie night.â
You nodded enthusiastically, trying to match his energy. âYeah, just a normal hangout. Nothing out of the ordinary,â you added, unable to hide the hint of a nervous laugh.
Your mom chuckled, giving you both a knowing look. âYou two have always been inseparable. Iâm glad youâre spending time together.â
You felt your cheeks flush, and you shot Sunghoon a sidelong glance. He was trying hard not to smile, and it was contagious.
âDid you enjoy the trip?â you asked, hoping to shift the conversation away from the night before.
Your parents launched into stories about their travels, and as you listened, you couldnât help but sneak glances at Sunghoon. He caught your eye, and you both exchanged a small smile that felt electric, reminding you of the connection you had just started to explore.
As breakfast was prepared, the atmosphere felt relaxed and easy, but your heart raced at the thought of your parents unknowingly interrupting something that had felt so significant. You couldnât help but feel giddy about the night you had shared, and the prospect of what lay ahead for you and Sunghoon, even as the morning unfolded like any other day.
After breakfast, your parents retreated to the living room to relax, leaving you and Sunghoon to clean up the kitchen. The atmosphere felt light, almost like the calm before a storm as you both exchanged playful banter, your earlier connection still fresh in your minds.
Later that afternoon, you heard a familiar voice ring out from the front door. âY/N! Iâm here!â Yeji called as she burst into the house, her energy immediately filling the space.
You couldnât help but smile, excitement bubbling up at the sight of your childhood best friend. âYeji! Youâre back!â you exclaimed, rushing to greet her with a hug.
As you pulled away, she looked at you intently, her gaze sweeping over you from head to toe. âYouâre glowing,  Whatâs going on with you?â she asked, a teasing lilt in her voice.
Your cheeks flushed slightly, and you tried to play it cool. âWhat are you talking about?â you said, attempting to sound nonchalant, but you felt a giddy warmth spread through you.
âOh, come onâ Yeji pressed, her eyes sparkling with curiosity. âYou look so happy. Are you and sunghoon fianlly together?â
You felt your heart race at the thought. âItâs⌠complicated,â you said, a shy smile creeping onto your face as you remembered the kiss, the way he made you feel, and the warmth that had lingered long after. âWeâre just figuring things out.â
âJust figuring things out?â Yeji exclaimed, her voice rising in disbelief. âY/N, youâre practically radiating happiness, That sounds like a classic âweâre togetherâ situation to me now spill bitch.â
You laughed, unable to suppress the joy bubbling inside you. âI promise, itâs nothing like that! Weâre just friends hanging outâwell, more than friends, but still⌠you know.â You were stumbling over your words, and you could feel the warmth of your blush creeping down your neck.
Yejiâs eyes widened, her expression a mix of disbelief and excitement. âOh my god, did you fuck?â she pressed, bouncing slightly on her heels, clearly thrilled at the prospect.
You donât say anything, except you give her a knowing look that told her everything she needs to know.Â
Yejiâs smile grew wider, her excitement infectious. âFucking finally. I thought you idiots would never figure it outâ She grabbed your shoulders, her eyes gleaming. âYou have to tell me everything.â
Just then, Sunghoon appeared in the doorway, glancing between the two of you, a bemused smile on his face. âWhatâs going on in here?â he asked, leaning against the doorframe with an amused expression.
Yeji turned to him, her eyes sparkling with mischief. âOh, just catching up on the latest drama. Y/N and I were just talking about how sheâs glowing andââ
You quickly interjected, feeling the heat rise in your cheeks. âWe were just talking about⌠uh, my skincare routine!â
Sunghoon raised an eyebrow, a smirk playing at the corners of his lips. âYour skincare routine, huh? Sounds fascinating.â
âShut up,â you shot back playfully, laughter spilling out. But deep down, you felt a thrill at the thought of your feelings for him becoming more public, shared between friends.
Yeji wiggled her eyebrows suggestively, a teasing smile on her face.
You rolled your eyes, but you couldnât help the smile that spread across your face. As Sunghoon joined the conversation, you felt a warmth in your heart, realizing how much you had missed thisâhow much you had missed him.
Ëŕ¨ŕ§âď˝ĄË â
You and Sunghoon settled into a rhythm of secrecy and excitement. Every stolen moment felt like a thrilling adventure, each shared smile charged with an energy that left you both breathless. You spent evenings hanging out at parks, grabbing snacks at your favorite convenience store, and reliving old memories. But as your bond deepened, so did the intensity of your feelings.
You both agreed to keep things under wraps for a little while longer, wanting to navigate this new chapter without the pressure of parental expectations looming over you. But sneaking around only added to the thrill, and soon, it became second nature.
One Friday evening, you decided to go on a real date. After all, you had managed to keep things low-key, but you were ready to enjoy being together without the pressure of hiding. You picked a charming little cafĂŠ downtown, a spot you both loved, and as the sun began to set, the place glowed with a warm, inviting ambiance.
You shared a dessert and exchanged playful banter, the world outside fading away. Sunghoonâs laughter felt like music, and each lingering glance seemed to whisper promises of something beautiful. The night was perfectâuntil it was time to go home.
As you walked down the quiet street, the cool night air wrapping around you, you felt a surge of affection. You turned to Sunghoon, smiling softly, and without thinking, you pulled him into a warm embrace. It felt so right, being close to him, your heart racing at the proximity.
But just as you pulled away, a familiar voice broke the silence. âWell, well, well. What do we have here?â
Startled, you turned to see your parents standing just a few feet away, a mix of surprise and amusement on their faces. Sunghoonâs eyes widened, and you felt your heart drop. âUh⌠hey!â you stammered, feeling heat rise to your cheeks.
Your mom stepped forward, a knowing smile spreading across her face. âWe always knew you two would end up together,â she said, crossing her arms and raising an eyebrow playfully.
Sunghoon chuckled nervously, rubbing the back of his neck. âUm, well, this is a bit unexpected.â
Your dad grinned, stepping beside your mom. âYou think we wouldnât notice the way you two look at each other? Youâve been sneaking around, havenât you?â
You exchanged glances with Sunghoon, a mix of embarrassment and relief flooding through you. âOkay, maybe a little,â you admitted, unable to hide your smile.
âJust a little?â Yeji suddenly appeared from behind your parents, her arms crossed and an amused look on her face. âI could have told you they were dating from the way they looked at each other!â
Your heart raced, but seeing the warmth in your parentsâ eyes eased your nerves. âWe just wanted to take our time, you know?â you said, looking up at Sunghoon.
Your mom laughed softly. âYou kids and your secrets. We were starting to wonder when you would finally tell us!â
Sunghoon relaxed, a smile spreading across his face. âSorry for keeping it from you, but we wanted to figure things out first.â
Your dad patted Sunghoon on the back. âYouâre a good kid. Weâre just happy to see you both happy. Just remember to keep it respectful, alright?â
You nodded vigorously, feeling the weight lift off your shoulders. As you stood there, surrounded by family and friends, you realized how wonderful it felt to share your happiness openly.
Sunghoon looked at you, his expression softening. âWell, I guess the secretâs out,â he said, smiling broadly.
You chuckled, leaning against him, warmth spreading through you. âYeah, but I wouldnât have it any other way.â
As you walked home together, hand in hand, you knew this was just the beginning of a new chapter in your livesâone filled with love, laughter, and the promise of many more adventures to come.
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âWhy Donât You Just Move?â
A look at rural queerness and the hardcore scene.
With the recent and still on-going tragedy left in the wake of Hurricane Helene, a lot of light is being shed on southern states that make up Appalachia.
Thereâs a lot of misconceptions about Appalachia and the southern United States as a whole. There are a lot of good users on this website that have put a lot of effort into combating these harmful stereotypes and clearing up misconceptions.
But thereâs more than just Appalachia in the south. Thereâs a lot of middle ground. Places that arenât as rural as Appalachia, but places that arenât as populated as cities like Raleigh, Richmond, Memphis, etc.
Places where people gather surrounded by other agricultural hubs.
There are queer people everywhere. In every culture, every religion, every country, in all of history, we have existed. We cannot and we will not be erased.
A common narrative thatâs floated around for many years is âif red states are passing laws that are constructive to the LGBT+ community, then why donât those people just move?â
So why donât we just move?
Iâm sure you can find a lot of well-written posts on here explaining many reasons why queer people not just in the southern states, but all over the world donât âjust moveâ, and one reason Iâve seen echoed over and over again is that âwe have thriving communities here tooâ. We exist too.
How does one âbe punkâ?
Itâs a question my mutuals and I get a lot, and a lot of us are tired of hearing it.
What does it mean to be punk?
Is it about the music? The clothes? The politics? Can you be punk if? Is it punk if you? Who? What? Where? When?
One common beginner tip to âbeing punkâ is to find and join the local scene. This can lead to a lot of other questions, though. What is a scene? Where does one find the scene? How does one participate in the scene? Is there a minimum requirement?
Rest assured, literally no one is asking this offline.
A hardcore scene is so much more than just hardcore. A scene is a group of people where music is a common thread that builds the basis of other connections. A hardcore scene isnât necessarily even hardcore.
âYou have to listen to punk music to be punkâ. Sure. But hereâs the thing. In your local hardcore scene you will find: metal musicians, rappers, and more. You will attend shows with blues music, orchestras, and more.
Sometimes itâs not even music at all! Sometimes there is drag! Sometimes there are movie nights! Sometimes there are group outings!
Itâs almost like⌠itâs just a social construct.
What is the local scene? The local scene is loud music. Itâs smoking and drinking. Itâs stopping by the corner store and the smoke and vape. Itâs carpooling. Itâs movie nights. Itâs text chains. Itâs group chats. Itâs he-said-she-said. Itâs they said. Itâs AMAB enbies. Itâs people who donât care about âpassingâ. Itâs DIY HRT. Itâs she was a lesbian until she met him. Itâs situationships. Itâs hooking up and coming down. Itâs bouncing from place to place to meet up with each other. Itâs showing up someplace and seeing whoâs there and waiting around to see whoâs coming. Itâs late nights spent partying on the weekends and back to school and work come the weekdays. Itâs knowing someone by looks or name even if you havenât put the two together yet. Itâs trading socials. Itâs Instagram stories and comments. Itâs âDM for Addressâ. Itâs âare you going tonight?â Itâs âdo you need a ride?â Itâs âwho else is going?â. Itâs going somewhere and asking whoâs coming. Itâs sitting around on broken chairs and lawn furniture passing around a blunt, sharing a 24 pack of beer that 4 of you ran out to get with money you all pooled together, itâs âshould we order pizza?â Itâs âI brought donutsâ. Itâs hanging out in each otherâs houses and rooms. Itâs respecting the businesses that offer to house you. Itâs generational friendships. Itâs listening to your friends as they joke about their heritage and talk about their cultures. Itâs the dog you pet when youâre sitting on the curb in ripped fishnets taking drunk selfies with your friends. Itâs the man playing you the harmonica as you sit outside the THC drink bar on a Saturday night. Itâs sitting out in the yard listening to someone play an acoustic set where they talk about the war and poverty and politics while you slowly get high surrounded by your friends. Itâs sitting on a dock in the middle of the night fishing listening to emo music huddled together with your friends. Itâs autistic people showing each other the bugs theyâve found in the dirt. Itâs talking about your disabilities together. Itâs shoving your friends in the pit and then holding their hands. Itâs seeing the cos guys in their 40s and 50s who tend the bar and work the register calling you by whatever name and pronouns you give them. Itâs all of this and so much more, and it cannot be conceptualized by one single fashion style, one single music style, one single belief system. Itâs not someone calling you out because you went to Chick-Fil-A and donât you know thatâs bad, itâs not someone telling you that youâre a poser because you like Chappell Roan too or your clothes were bought at Forever 21 not thrifted and DIYed.
Everyone likes to talk about folk punk and other genres that bands like Dayz and Daze have popularized- or according to some, commodified and commercialized- but if youâre going to talk about music like folk punk, youâre going to have to respect the areas that it originated in.
Everyone wantâs to talk about âlocal punk bandsâ when half the bands youâre seeing donât even fall under the genre of punk.
Your local scene isnât always going to be skate parks and thrash music.
Sometimes itâs the mom cooking you and all your queer friends dinner on a Friday night in her kitchen with crosses and a picture frame of her family with the quote âlive, laugh, loveâ.
Sometimes itâs sitting around and listening to men who are old enough to be your grandfather with Vietnam Veteran hats play the blues while a pig roasts in a backyard BBQ, even though youâre in your 20s and you have blue hair and pronouns.
Itâs sitting around and listening to your elders talk about how the scene used to be âback in the dayâ. Talk about the shows theyâve been to, the bands theyâve seen in their prime.
Itâs asking what you do for work, where do you live, what brought you down here, whatâs your college major?
Itâs people. Itâs people connecting to people. Regardless of the color of their skin. Regardless of gender or sexuality. Itâs people of all ages coming together to listen to music with the idea that what you all have in common is living here and now, hating politicians, and thinking that someone should do something about the shitty state the world is in. Itâs not a conglomerate. Itâs individuality, and thereâs no real wrong way of doing it unless youâre a Trump Supporter or a Nazi, and even then, they still have their own factions of the punk scene that are going to overlap with yours on occasion. The best you can do then is stand up for what you believe in and stay safe.
There are scenes just like mine all over this country. In southern states, in rural areas, in places that other, mainly white queers have âwritten offâ.
So why donât we just move?
Because this is our scene, and itâs what we make it, and in the heart of the south in the Bible Belt, weâre making it a queer-inclusive space despite whatâs happening around us.
#local scene#hardcore scene#music scene#hardcore punk#punk rock#cripple punk#crust punk#punk culture#queer culture#rural queer
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