#im no longer a freaky fat stalker im just some guy walking my dog | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

depresseddepot · 5 months ago

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I'm trying to find ways to slowly ease my way into taking walks (debilitating social anxiety) so I was going to download pokemon go again but my phone is too old :(

#im actually very upset abt this lol #all of the other tricks ive found rely on having a dog to walk #and like i would love to get my own dog but i absolutely cannot afford one lmao #so i guess i just. still can't go on walks #nobody seems to understand just how impossible it is for me to walk down the street when im not trying to get somewhere #like just going for a walk for fun/to look at nature feels like im being killed #people are LOOKING at me and when someone even so much as glances at me while im walking i instantly feel like I'm doing something wrong #or like they're going to misunderstand my sort of odd behaviors #i can't walk slow because they'll think im a stalker. i can't walk fast because ill get out of breath and they'll think im disgusting #i can't keep a normal pace because im too nervous and i just spend the whole time tense and hate myself even more when i get home #like. what the hell am i supposed to do lol #getting a dog is the only way i think i could stop myself from spiraling like that bc of COURSE im walking slow and leisurely.#im walking my dog. my dog wants to smell and has to poop or whatever #im no longer a freaky fat stalker im just some guy walking my dog #this became more of a vent than i was expecting lmao but if anyone has any actual tangible tips for how to go on walks i would appreciate it #when i had to walk 2 miles to class i used to take a small part of an edible right before i got on the bus lmao and that worked WONDERS #but i don't want to have to do that just to walk around my own neighborhood when i eventually move out #i just want to be normal lmao i want to go out and find bugs and look at leaves #i guess i could walk in the woods but what if i get lost #i want to be able to look at stuff. i want to be able to stop and look at a plant while some person passes by me #without feeling like im going to blow up or like they're going to hit me or like IM going to hit THEM #im used to anxiety but i always feel so erratic in public places. when everyone wore masks i was a little better #i still mask most of the time but it doesn't help anymore bc now im like one of the only people that does it #so now instead of blending in AND having my face covered i just stand out more #my face is still covered so it still helps but its like barely a net positive lmao #i want to be able to look around without worrying that someone is looking at me from their window and thinks im a stalker #truly how the hell am i supposed to do that without a dog lol

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