#im ready to do something else with my life
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Note
Admito que habĂa evitado tu perfil en las Ășltimas semanas porque te sentĂ distante y como si me estuvieras evitando. Y me sentĂ como Bella cuando Edward desaparece. Luego me culpĂ© porque quizĂĄ he sido demasiado intensa y escalofriante con mis escritos para ti, despuĂ©s me volvĂ a sentir mal, evitĂ© tumblr unos dĂas y⊠aquĂ estoy.
nena!! nunca! <3 <3 te adoro!
#say it#out loud#cali y griss#love you griss!#ive just had the shittiest week of my life#and it keeps happening#im ready to do something else with my life#seriously i need help lol it's been rough#but im always here for you! <3
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
if life is categorized by Before Loss and After Loss then I exist in the before but with a countdown to the after. and the countdown is always always present and debilitating. the loss will be debilitating too but i cant help myself. i will always suffer twice.
#i cant let go of it. i cant even enjoy good moments without thinking about how they'll just be memories one day#how they're already memories since moments pass so fast#everything is I'll Miss This and i already miss it and i cant believe once you're gone you're gone forever#and ill never ever see you again. and your shell is in the ground but where did the rest of you go?#should i look at your body one last time? on one hand itll be the last time i see you.#on the other hand it will be the last time i see you.#and the memory of you will die with me too. as if neither ever existed#it impacts me so much too bc i dont feel close to anybody really...and i dont make friends easily#so whats going to happen when the people who have always been there arent there anymore?#im going to be alone for so much of my life.#i will record your voice so im ready for when i cant hear it from the source while also knowing it wont be enough and one day#ill be wishing it lasted longer. it could be 12 hours long and ill want more.#how do you surpass this? it hasn't even happened. when it happens i don't know what ill do. considering my whole life has been#the timer. the countdown. hours and hours of anticipatory grief#and then ill be next. me. some of all thats left of you. it cant be true.#sorry. this gets worse every single year and its been going insane lately#id surprisingly been managing it well for months somehow ! it wouldnt cross my mind...and now its there again#like it accumulated and its all coming out right now. ive been crying for hrs tonight and last night#one day his things will just be things. things ive made and given him will be in my hands again.#talkys#i want to go hug my dad but then ill just cry over how one day i wont be able to....! how do i store it? how do i save it?#how do i preserve it forever....even as i take my own last breath....#i cant believe im the only one of me. and my dad is the only one of him.#i wouldnt want to be reborn as anyone else. i cant believe one day i wont get to draw or eat or be comfy in bed anymore.#i cant take it !! im so scared. ill be scared until the end. and you wont be there to hold my hand. im going to be alone.#and none of those years of grief and joy and memories will matter.#i wonder if it would help to tell him about this. i need something to hold onto for when it happens. anything. but i also know it'll make i#hurt more; obviously. just another piece of him that'll be gone one day
45 notes
·
View notes
Text
love my bad mental health, love being suicidal all the time
#abc shut it#im tired of fighting it and trying to participate in life when it feels like i dont exist#love being lonely and then being told its due to my bad mental health so i pretend it doesnt affect me and i try and be myself#and no one likes me and i dont exist unless i remind people im a person so its kinda like#at a point where its not just suicidal ideation#its just a situation of /when/ and not if haha#ive been alive for 26 years and 20 of those have been exhausting as hell im ready to be done#exhausting and lonely and isolating im sick of it#i try and i try and my life doesnt get better or anymore worth living#and when i vent abt it i get told i need to try harder and im not trying at all and i need to stop being so depressed#its hard to not be depressed when the universe gives everyone around me a better experiences than me#i feel like im screaming that im here please pay attention#and nothing#i talk and my voice gets ignored or i get talked over#i post online to try and start conversations or make friends and i just get ignored#like do i exist at all to anyone else but myself#im trying to reach out and make friends but none of the ppl i wanna make friends with seem interested in having a conversation with me#i add all these people to discord and message them all the time#but nothing gets passed me sending them messages no one ever fucking messages me first#it feels like no one thinks about me and i dont matter#literally no one gives a fuck what i have to say#or anytime i talked im corrected on SOMETHING i say or i get a belittled in response#i cant do this shit anymore i cant#no one gives a shit about what i have to say and its really coming across that no one likes me#bc if my friends cant text me first or respond to my messages at all#why am i in the wrong feeling like im alone and have no friends when im the only one reaching out ever if i wanna have a conversation#and when i do feel like im allowed to talk i just talk and talk and talk and know the people dont give a shit abt what i have to say#i jsut feel like im here to be talked at and do things for other people and nothing more#that whenever i have an emotion its wrong and i need to bottle it up#and i dont eve get a chance to learn how to manage my emotions bc it feels like im going to get scolded or belittled for feeling things
7 notes
·
View notes
Text
one thing abt being disabled/chronically ill that some people donât get is that sometimes body maintenance that ensures you have the absolute minimum amount of function can also be something that takes away a lot of control and autonomy. you can argue till the cows come home that making those decisions to try and help yourself (or realistically to try to make sure things arenât worse than they already are) is something that exhibits control and autonomy and stuff, but they can be so limiting in practice because theyâre things that take up so much time but have to be done to do anything else
#i have to sleep a lot. iâm at the point where functioning requires 8 hours of sleep if not more#I should probably be getting 10+ but iâm a student and i work so 8 is the minimum. but then also getting ready for bed is a whole process s#the whole thing can take 10-12 hours depending how much im sleeping. just to make sure i can do anything#that is time in my day i cannot use for anything else. itâs not âoh but i can push through itâ because i canât without spending the next da#lightheaded and nauseous and vaguely dizzy and with such intense brain fog I canât think with my fatigue so bad i genuinely donât know how#get myself to work a lot of days. my abled peers donât have to deal with this at all. they have unlimited study time if they want to#and yeah it is a choice iâm making thatâs true i could just not do. except i would lose my job and fail out of college because i would not#be able to get to classes or do my homework or think. but being told âbut you are making choices about your lifeâ when i have lost so much#of what i used to be able to do because i am spiralling down and continuing to get worse is so.#literally last year i would wake up at 6:30 and then go to school till 3 and then go to my internship until 10 and get home at 11 and be in#bed anywhere from midnight to two in the morning and then wake up the next day and do it all again. i graduated with a 3.9 gpa and made it#into my top college while dealing with my cancer symptoms and then the two surgeries about it#but now i lose half my day to just making sure i can get out of bed. i canât go anywhere because my body is physically too exhausted#any extra time goes into doing homework or occasionally time to myself#not decimating my health by doing minimum body care responsibilities isnât freeing. occasionally i have a good day which is freeing but tha#usually goes into just. other things outside class or work or eating. I donât go do something for myself or go do something fun on good day#because I still canât. good days just mean i donât want to lie down on the pavement when iâm going somewhere#I just. I donât magically have control over my life because i try to get enough sleep. i lose half my day to doing that and ultimately itâs#just a bodily function that would have to happen anyway#this is a vent post im just having a really hard time right now because it feels like im in exponential decline. it was nowhere near this#bad last semester. my grades are tanking and i have no free time because anything outside of sleep is either work or school#vent tw#yall can rb this just ignore my tags completely#disability#chronically ill#i keep trying to explain to people how pots works because thatâs all logical but thereâs no way to explain what itâs doing to my body or ho#i feel all the time. the last time i felt this bad was when i had a bad flu or immediately after surgeries because i donât react well to#anesthesia and always come out of them feeling like shit. and now i just feel like this all the time and itâs only getting worse#I canât even stay up late anymore because my body feels like it isnât counting the sleep even if I get 8 hours#I can deal if I have a free day the day after but that just leaves Friday and Saturday nights and I usually still have to do homework
8 notes
·
View notes
Text
when i was younger this whole ''no romantic or sexual experience" thing made me feel deeply unlovable and it still does but in a different way. now i've somehow convinced myself that i'm not supposed to desire anyone like that. like it's not meant for me. it's me who can't love now. not other people.
#feeling emo#no but i'm literally the problem cause it's not like i'm trying to ''put myself out there''#but it's too scary and i don't want to and i'm not ready and there's no time and i like the routine of being alone#i've had crushes before and they were strong and lasted honestly too long for being crushes#but that's too far away from now#and i always looked at myself as the girl who won't get the boy#the crush was always unrequited#i was okay with only looking cause it's not like there's anything other than that for a girl like me#living life in a larger body is truly not a kind experience#there's so many other things that made relationship and love scary for me but being fat is the biggest reason for not even trying#and they you talk to your skinny friends and hear their experience with men and it's so awful for the most part#and then you think well if they treat them that way how would i be treated#i just don't want to be hurt#or hurt someone else#i'm used to at looking at love from a distance and i'll live anyway#some days it just harder than others#like the hard part is that i feel like im doing something wrong#like im living life wrong like i shouldn't be this uncomfortable and scared#so often it happens that i just can't relate to other people my age#like im too serious and in my head to be fun and get drunk at parties#and to serious and in my head to be in love and be loved and be seen#they all have this more casual stance on romance and they'll make out with people in the dorm bathrooms but i can't do that#and i don't want to either#i'm slow and boring and it would probably take six months to prepare myself for a kiss#it all seems so big to me#lovely feeling we're having tonight#personal
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
random thought that i havent been able to get out of my head is dannie and arcade having the "what do you think we do. after all this is over." convo.
#i think dannie would get really quiet and withdraw into herself as things start ramping up#because i dont think she really thought a lot of this through and doesnt feel ready for it#so ive had this scene in my head of them making camp and shes sitting there cleaning her rifle for the third time in three hours#and theyre friends. hes known her since she was a kid. i think if he asked what she actually WANTS to do with her life shed think about it#because i dont think 'become de-facto leader of the greater vegas area' is something she actually wants#but like fuck. someone has to do it right? who the hell else is gonna be in charge. benny? i have to laugh#idk ive just had the scene bouncing around in my head. id like to hear them talk about it#i think shed like to join the followers for real. do something to actually help people. the politicking is getting to her and she cant help#but feel kind of powerless in the face of these enormous problems. the legion. the ncr. the realities of being responsible for other people#and their lives. idk idk idk#it just seems like itd get to a person is all. it gets to ME and its not even real. every decision i make im agonizing over doing right#by people. the lily decision was genuinely so difficult for me
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
sanji as luffys mirror and zoro as his counterweight....ok.....alright
#sorry i didn't expect this to be so valbait either ok but here we are#like come On its pirates AND its giving absolutely spectacular captain-first mate dynamic what do you want from me#to not be obsessed? well i am. monster trio you are everything to me#leader-right hand man is literally everything to me always that dynamic has got it fucking all#kill for you die for you. where you go i follow. ill be your weapon wield me as you want. unquestioning loyalty to the death. or beyond it.#i may be inventing layers to these guys idk but im having so much fun and im right#and like i know luffys whole Thing is everyone who meets him is obsessed w him immediately#but zoro and sanji have known him like 2 days and are fully ready to lay their lives down you guys are unwell im obsessed w YOU#nami and usopp are like yeah this guys cool but i could also do something else w my life probably. meanwhile.
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
naturally iâm gonna be very upset at 6:09 am after an all-nighter over my brother and his actions
#personal#not the middle one weâre okay rn and talking again and he helped me get with my new job#even tho we havenât spoken about the door and im not supposed to know he paid for it#so good but watch out#the eldest one iâm like hey i was gonna forgive ghosting me or flaking on plans you made with me for our dad#or not communicating that you already got everything done with said dad and all i really knew was my dad asking asking asking for his#eldest son and struggling for an answer for him#and even like not checking on me at all after i got kicked out and bringing a girl back and asking me to pretend to be asleep#god i regret not sleeping in a rest stop like planned that was so much worse#and also you and other brother just ignoring me begging for help telling you i got back into my ed and honestly going through the worst#time of my life also weed dependent to just cope and also my job sucked. minor but still#but again was ready to let it go bc you were so obviously in pain at the funeral i couldnât be mad at that#but like why. after i offered to clean up after ur dogs did you um. ask me to do it again#then cussed me out after i asked that you donât ask on the dot of when my shifts end#and then after mom told me i was selfish while struggling with a full time job and taking care of my dying father and struggling with that#and i was just asking what ur living situation was bc i felt like. hm. being told iâm awful for struggling during my dads death is a lot#instead of just saying no you go on a rant about how when we finally want to move in with you youâre doing something else and general#shit giving. instead of again. just saying no. or hell. checking on me.#so itâs like iâll love you until every star gives out i canât fucking look at you bc iâm so hurt#we havenât talked since then and im not gonna hear from him till he asks what i want from christmas or he needs something#christ last time he checked on me was a segway to helping me going about the hoarder house as he loves calling it#i canât believe i sent him photos of our dads writing saying i love you and his only question was is it still hoarder central#i was gonna type something mean iâm gonna lay down#i donât want any gifts why would i want a gift. told him that i was hurt and didnât want a gift my birthday and he responded and itâs gonna#and heâs didnât respond*#be the same game during christmas#you brought a girl over on such an awful fucking night for me why would i want a gift#and itâs not like he hasnât been there and doesnât love me itâs just iâm hurt#and itâs not like he had all this space and my other brother and i never used it! i got kicked out and stayed a night!#other brother moved in with you! sorry circumstances led to me staying longer! just say no!
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
im gonna say something so controversial but so brave. seeing one of the last Joe love songs repurposed for That Man makes me feel so gross and icky and it gives me the heebie jeebies and this isn't to say that I miss Joe but even now I still like him more than I like Travis. my distain for Travis is so strong that I simply cannot let some of these songs get reassigned to him.
#i don't even like labyrinth very much#like sorry all Taylor and everyone else may be ready to move on but i simply am not#not with that wretched beast#i love taylor. i had an extremely upsetting day because i love taylor. somehow my hatred for travis is even larger right now tho.#and I'm not trying to put taylor in the basement or whatever the hell im not trying to write some kind of narrative about her life#it comes down to: i hate football. i hate travis. i hate how fucking overexposed this relationship is.#do i need to take a break? god yes#but i try to take a break from here in other communities and it ends in me wanting to kms because someone said something shitty about taylor#I'm so stuck between a rock and a hard place i really just need a couple weeks without internet period#anyone wanna send me and my bestie on a cruise?
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
.
#itâs really fucking cold rn#also iâve been sad for like a week and itâs got better sometimes but things keep happening so every time i think#im okay itâs fine⊠something else happens and itâs like well fuck now i have to deal with this exhausting ordeal again why do i have#to suffer so much#but itâs okay because everything happens for a reason and maybe this is the universe trying to tell me something#like keep taking your fucking meds#but also stop being so emotional and stop wearing your heart on your sleeve#but i refuse to regret thinking i was ready to be a real person again#I wasnât ready but i refuse i simply refuse to regret believing that i was okay?#anyway itâs kind of unfair how i tried my best and january still turned out awful#like i just wanted one nice thing#but anyway this month has always been for life-changing decisions and i made one today as i do every year#so everythingâs fine now#i canât believe iâm saying this but i canât wait to go back to work lmaooo#if iâm busy i wonât have time to cry right?? i wonât have time to dwell on stupid inconsequential things i canât help but notice#sometimes i wish i couldnât read wish i was illiterate iâd be so sane rn if that were the case <333#i would feel so secure and everything would be fine <333#anyway iâm thinking about morey because they are the only thing worth thinking about atm and theyâre everything to me also đđ#morey supremacy i wish the teen wolf movie werenât real skdjdjdj#STAND BEHIND ME COREY đđ i wonât let them hurt youuu đđ
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
I love adderall <- guy who has been on adderall for one day
#I feel great but not like when im drunk or high like. I still feel like myself but I can actually focus and not get distracted by things#like. usually music I don't know or like is incredibly distracting and frustrating to me but today I didn't care AT ALL#it was just a thing in my environment that didn't affect me???? I could just focus on what I was doing even though bad music was playing??#and like. getting ready this morning once the adderall started to work I just went so fast and had no downtime between tasks#like I had time to do EXTRA CHORES before work. WHAT.#and even then I still spent like 10 minutes reading before I left. what the hell man#and then during my training at work it was so easy to just pay attention to stuff and just to think about what I needed to think about#yesterday every time I had a gap in the conference I would read on my phone even if it was for like 2 seconds#today I just sat and waited and I didn't need something else to occupy me. crazy#and it wasn't like sitting and waiting normally either like usually if I have to do that I think about my current hyperfixation#but today I was just. my brain was QUIET#I didn't even THINK about transformers on the clock literally what the hell#anyway adderall is magic and ive only had very mild side effects so far (needing to pee more and getting dehydrated faster)#very acceptable trade-offs I can handle bathroom breaks and more water if it means I can function like this#is this what literally every day is like for neurotypical people???? they can just focus on things??? if so I am like. I'm sorry?????#btw high in the first tag refers to being high on laughing gas at the dentist lmao I have never done weed in my life
0 notes
Text
the way I've been raised has shown itself in a recent awful experience I had and the realization won't leave me because I'm not sure what to do about it.
I don't like feeling anger/upset and it's rare for me to feel it anyway but it's led to me being unable to tell what's worth getting upset over anymore. If my wants upset somebody, then, well, maybe I shouldn't have them? What is so serious that I need it to go completely my way...? What desires am I allowed to have. It's not that serious, it's okay if not, you can't always get what you want....
every time I feel Upset I am later wracked with guilt because it wasn't a big deal and I was just being selfish... What IS a big deal then? How can I tell? Its admittedly never a big deal... But I keep being upset. And stepped on....
#talkys#this is what led to me Staying for as long as i did#there would be issues but if I brought them up i wld then be made to feel guilty for feeling that way#but i cant reverse that bc well!! its true like is it really a big deal? life isnt that serious I dont need to get upset...#i get upset at something my parents do and in the end i feel ungrateful and selfish#i really cant tell anymore which is why i Stayed as mentioned above#in the sense of well yeah the way im being treated doesnt make me feel good but why do i need to feel good?#isnt that selfish...isnt that asking too much...isnt that making yourself out to be Better Than...#i really dont know. i get so ready to give up my position on anything because I dont want to be selfish#and because im no better than anyone else#my mom caused some drama on my birthday wrt my sister's family and it led to me not being able to go to the duck#pond on my birthday... which is the only thing i really wanted to do on an otherwise uneventful day#i was meant to feel shame abt it because well we can always go any other day!!! relax!!!#and it is true....!#we can go any other day why did i get upset? its not that serious...nothing is that serious...i feel so guilty + spoiled + selfish#i just felt humiliated for wanting to go in the first place. and for getting upset that we couldnt go. like a toddler.#*not that i actually get Toddler Level upset...but it always Feels like i did...ykwim#i just dont understand......idk if i can Repair this....
28 notes
·
View notes
Text
i told my sister she should not cough so much when trying to throw up bc it can increase chances of aspiration, for more success she could start heaving from the stomach
"yeah well i dont know how to do thatđ"
what? heave? yse your abdominal muscles? are you fucking stupid?
#istg she comes home says shes sick and acts like she's never been sick a day in her life#she gets pissy when i offer advice bc what else tf am i supposed to do here#now she complains about no food being ready 'im so tired i was working all day then johanna wanted to hang out n get bubble tea' ok?#theres leftovers from the other day HEALTHY STUFF theres vegetables and chicken you can put in the fucking microwave 30 secs boom supper#and theres tuna i mixed with mayonnaise there on the counter and a baked potato on the stove for you do not fucking say that theres nothing#not when ive been the only one cooking here for more than just myself. every time she makes something for her supper im an afterthought#but the minute i dont make something for her (DVEN THOUGH I FUCKING DID) she gets pissed#im like a fucking maid in my own house and she complains about me#she got mad at me last night when i said 'my house' to my twin sisters friend bc 'my (sic) names on the bills' like bitch im paying you#for those still. and im listed as a tenant shut the fuck up. it IS my house. yes it's our house but it is still my house also#i clean this place i turn the heat up and down ive washed the dishes 8 out of 10 times im always making supper#i do the laundry i fold her shit too. the rare chance she does the laundry she never folds it and only takes her shit out the dryer#she did the laundry yesterday and oh whats this? all the clothes smell like rubber for some weird fucking reason im sick of her#she never does anything except buy groceries once in a while#all she does is go to her room when she gets home and thats it#funk's record log
0 notes
Text
tag vent tw
#codependence#i honestly thought my absolute everything was based on one relationship#based my entire life off of it#told myself id just stop things completely#id end it if i lost him#but now that it's finally happened... fuck#it still stings from time to time but the way things have gone has made me happier than ever#im still worried abt. i was out of a relationship for ages and desperate to get with anyone when i met him... i was feeling horrible and#crushing on what felt like everybody i met. it wasnt healthy#but i think the way things ended have ... made all the difference#i need to learn to love myself before im ready to love somebody else is what ive realized#i told myself so many times how badly i hate myself#how badly i want everything to stop and how badly i needed him to fight on#but now that its happened. ive learned a lot#ive learned so much in a week its really overwhelming#but i can do better#i can take what he gave me and make something amazing#it gives me some pride after all#i dont know if he hates me but#well#one day ill try to make him proud#i dont wanna end back up in that relationship issue but#im gonna learn how to take the whole fucking world on#how to love myself and to love the world#thank you#tw vent#toni morrison#song of solomon
180 notes
·
View notes
Text
Man. It's not even a good fic.
Probably wasting my time trying to read this.
#speculation nation#it's just like. hm.#i mean the simplistic characterizations and questionable setting choices are major detractors for me#but ultimately the handling of the core Thing is so... it just rubs me wrong.#maybe it's partially a disagreement on characterization & how the situation was handled#but also the situation itself. it just does not feel realistic.#considering my own experience with this thing im just looking at this fic like. is this really what you think it's like?#if it WAS that bad theres no way hed have bounced back like this. immediately ready for a new relationship?? no way.#im..ugh im trying to stay vague bc i dont want to spread negativity about some else's work#but i almost feel condescended to reading this fic.#it's been 8 fuckin years man and ive recovered enough to move on with my life but it STILL fucks me up#in so many little ways. even outside of the mental instability I Got Issues. and thats never going away.#if u think someone's gonna go thru that with only a cute lil cry every now and then. you obviously havent done enough research.#shit's ugly. recovery's ugly. & if youre going to put something like that in your fic then Please at least do some basic research.#what a waste of time. i should just go to bed instead of waste any more of my life on this.
1 note
·
View note
Note
can you PLEASEEEE do something with the idea of reader stealing/wearing katsukis clothes?? youâre the only one who i think will fully do this idea justice xx
pure fluff, reader is a thief, reader likes the way katsuki smells, roughhousing lol kinda ?? katsuki sorta tackles you, katsuki is a meanie, tickling, no pronouns mentioned in this one I donât think ! lemme know if i missed sum else !!
a/n : hey so this has been sittin in my drafts for literal decades omg IM SO SORRYđđđđALSO BTW TYSM FOR THINKIN I COULD DO UR ASK JUSTICE I WAS SO FLATTERED WHEN I READ THIS I WAS GIGGLING N SHITđ€đ€i was always so excited for this ask but I literally never got around to doing it after my break n stuff, im slowly (and thatâs suuuuper slowly im so sorry yall i suck) getting to all of your asks one at a time and im so grateful yall r still givin me the time of day honestly , so please be patient with međ€§đđđ ! But anway enough dumping ! Anon if youâre still sticking around, i truly hope u enjoy this ! And ofc all of yall too ! much luv xxx!!
"you fuckin' thief.."
shit. you thought he'd be gone for longer.
lately, youâd been routinely sneaking into katsukiâs dorm room and nabbing some of his clothes. sweaters, hoodies, t-shirts : as long as they were in your reach, youâd grab them.
it's not your fault, really ! katsuki's clothes are so cosy and warm and they smell just like him. plus, they're perfect to snuggle in when he's busy, how could you not borrow them for a little while ?!
..except you can admit that youâve been stalling..and a lot of his clothes were still in your room, but you still planned on giving them back..soon !
and you canât even pretend, because youâre wearing on of his hoodies that had been missing for a good week now.
"katsuki, baby." you slowly lean away from his clothes drawer, your hand ready to snag a black hoodie of his slowly trailing towards the floor "i can explain."
"all my damn sweaters, my fuckin' hoodies. they all just vanished without a trace.." he starts, slowly stalking over to you. you squeak, slowing getting on your knees to prepare yourself should you have to break his ankles and sprint out of the room. he's fuming, eyebrows twitching "thought i was goin' crazy.."
"and all this time.."
"suki.." you try, voice wobbly as your knees shake with each step closer he gets.
"it's been fucking YOU ?!"
and he pounces.
with a squeal, you scramble and dash away just as he leaps for you and narrowly misses, he's got you cornered as you're on opossite sides of his bed while you beg for mercy and he keeps yelling at you to 'come here'. in a panick you grab one of his pillows and fling it at him.
it feels like the pillow slides down his face in slow motion to reveal a look so vile a demon appearing in front of you right now would scare you less
âyouâre. so. dead.â
thereâs really nowhere else for you to go. youâre truly cornered, you might as well just be buried right now. you think about the leftovers waiting for you in the fridge and how sero still hadnât returned the manga heâd leant from you, but youâve lived a pretty good life.
before your body can decide to move, katsuki leaps over to you tackling you and having you land straight onto his bed with a loud shriek.
frantically, you wave your hands around âwait, wait pleasepleasepleasepleasepleas-â but your begs of mercy are cut off when katsuki jams a finger into your side, causing you to yelp. he hovers over you with a mean smirk. and you know whatâs coming.
âkatsuââ
you donât even get to finish before he jams his hands into your sides and mercilessly tickles you.
from an outsiders point of view? this is harmless. but your boyfriend is mean and the biggest asshole in the world because he knows all of your weak spots and the places he knows will have you shaking and gasping for breath. it felt like actually torture, really.
âthought you could get away with it, huh ?â he sneers, leaning down a bit more so heâs eye level with you âthought you could keep taking my shit and iâd just neeever find out, hm ? yeah ?â
âb-but iâah ! didnâtâ!â you gasp and squeal, choking on the sentences you canât manage to push out of your throat as your eyes squeeze closed. you donât have to see his face to know heâs enjoying this.
âyouâre a fuckinâ thief.â he spits, backing up from you so you donât headbutt him square in the nose from your thrashing. youâre response is nothing but a harsh gasp and he smirks wider.
you think heâs finally, finally taken pity on you when his fingers slow to a stop, but he glares down at you, hands still on either sides of you âsay it.â
you canât even catch your breath before he hurriedly pressed closer to your sides to scare you, you shriek âstop ! mâsorry !â
ânot what i wanted you to say, try again.â
âyouâreââ you take a breath âsuchaâ
his fingers graze your shirt and his eyes are wide, daring you to finish your sentence, you bring your hands up to try to hide his field of vision.
âOKAY ! okay, okayâŠâ you slowly lower your hands away, finally dropping them at your sides with a sigh âmâ a thiefâŠâ you mumble in defeat, embarrassment creeping up on you not only from the fact that you got caught but that the blond above you clearly enjoyed your torture if the evil snickers you heard weâre any sign of that.
he hums in satisfaction âmhm, no good fuckinâ thief. should lock you up and throw away the key on your ass.â you hate how handsome he looks when heâs playful like this with you. your sides still hurt and your voice is croaky from how out of breath you were and for a moment you seriously thought you saw the pearly gates.
you pout, and all it does is make him smile wider.
your boyfriend is mean. and the biggest asshole in the entire fucking world.
âsânot my fault..your clothes are comfy.â you mumble, crossing your arms over your chest. âand they smell good.â
he scoffs, leaning down closer towards you âthatâs cus i fuckinâ wash them. and i havenât been able to lately cus someoneâs been stealing my entire closet.â
âi didnât !â
âwas boutta make me walk around naked, ya moron. all my clothes are gone.â you roll your eyes, he never lacked in the dramatics department.
âyouâre such a drama queen.â you whine, sinking into his comforter. he ignores you and he presses your cheeks together with one hand, chuckling at your smooched cheeks and furrowed brows.
âstop stealing my stuff.â he announces slowly. heâs clear, no way you couldâve misunderstood him anyway. he sighs and presses a quick peck to your lips still pressed together
âif you want one of my sweaters râsomething, jusâ come ask me. can give you one..or whatever.â he finishes, voice slightly muffled in embarrassment as he shoves his mouth against yours again and again making wet kissing sounds and you manage a giggle. he rolls his eyes, but a smile slowly crawls up his face anyway as he releases your cheeks. you let out a happy sigh, opening and closing your mouth to get rid of the slight soreness.
âtake this shit off though.â he tugs at the hoodie youâre wearing âstinks. need to put it in the wash.â
âno it doesnât !â you protest, pressing the color against your nose in an attempt to keep it close to you âit smells like you!â you pout. he doesnât respond for a bit, opting to squint at you while the tips of his ears turned pink. and in a second his snatched the bottom of it and ripped it off of you, ripping a pathetic scream from you.
he examined his hoodie with an unreadable expression before his eyes land back on you for a second, then he slowly starts folding up his sweater âyou trynna say i stink ?â he says lowly.
âno. i wouldnât wear your clothes if they were nastyâ you scrunch up your nose âyou can take back the sweater in my room, though. the smell is starting to wear off.â
âgee, thanks for offering to give me my sweater back. weirdoâ he glares, spitting his words out sarcastically and you giggle at his extra emphasis on his ownership of the hoodie which earns you a huff.
â iâm grabbing all the shit you took from me, and they stay with me.â he starts warningly âbut you can keep this, i guess..â he adds, patting on his now folded hoodie ready for a cleaning. you smile happily, running your socked feet into his blankets.
â oh, but donât forget to wear it first after you washed it, want it to smell like you. otherwise thereâs no point.â
âyou really are a fucking weirdo.â he spits, but the way his cheeks burn bright red say heâs not truly mad about it. you laugh, and katsuki grumbles. âhope you learned your lesson, freak.â he taunts. you hum in fake thought, then release a sigh.
âyeah, i guess i did.â you concede, and he nods proudly.
and sure, yeah, youâre boyfriendâs a big meanie. but you do a great job at riling him up.
âfor now.â
#tehehe this was so funny to make#tysm anon !!#im sorry it took so long tho :(((#still hope you enjoy !#not proofread but will fix later !#bakugou katsuki x reader#katsuki bakugou x reader#bakugo fluff#bakugou imagine#bakugou x reader#katsuki x reader#bakugou katsuki#katsuki bakugo x reader#bakugou katuski x reader#bakugou fluff#katsuki bakugo fluff#bakugo katsuki x reader#katsuki x you#katsuki x y/n#bakugou drabble#bakugou x you#bakugou x y/n#bakugo x female reader#bakugo x reader#bakugo x you#bakugo x y/n
2K notes
·
View notes