#identity revealed

[sunnynwanda]

Rules to break

Villain had fucked up.

They knew it. Hero knew it. The entire fucking city knew it.

It was dumb, too. Textbook-level stupidity. They knew the rules, for heaven's sake. Each and every one of them was written for young villains such as themselves. To no avail, apparently, since they went and got themselves involved in exactly what was forbidden in the rules of entanglement for promising villains.

Rule #1 Make sure your fuckbuddy is not your nemesis.

They are paraphrasing here, but who cares. The meaning's there.

Villain should have known that sexual tension between Hero and them couldn't dissipate out of the blue. It should have been alarming the first time they did not feel it burn them during a fight. Right after their first date, too. What a complete idiot they were... are. They still are.

Rule #2 Make sure you don't get attached to the bloody git.

Yeah, they're paraphrasing again. What's the point of memorising the rules word for word if they've already gone and broken every single one of them? For some unfathomable reason, they never questioned their attraction for Hero. There were other things to worry about once they found out who exactly they were shagging.

Rule #3 Villainy always comes before any attachments.

Did Villain know this rule? Yes. Did they follow it? No. Did they know why? Also no.

Okay, that was a blatant lie. So what? Sue them.

Rule #4 Don't risk your goddamn life to save your nemesis. Even if they ask.

Sure, Hero didn't ask for it either. Villain couldn't sit on their bloody ass and wait for them to get to the point of breaking and begging for help. Not when they saw the way Hero's body crumbled to the floor. Not when it ripped their lungs out of their chest to watch Hero getting beaten like that. And by their joined teams. Fucking hell, Villain was ready for a massacre.

Rule #5 Never join forces with the enemy unless faced with direct and inevitable danger to your life.

Did the rule still apply to them if Villain was on the run with said enemy, unconscious in their car? They didn't know. Probably no.

"You didn't have to do that," the voice catches them off guard. Villain shakes their head, not taking their eyes off the road. "I know you're not exactly excited that it was me."

Villain chuckles darkly at that, still not facing Hero. They pull to the left, taking a side road until they reach a small lake safely hidden in the depths of a forest. The car comes to a halt, but Villain remains silent, so Hero speaks again. "Will you please say something?"

Villain does not. Instead, they turn and lean forward, pulling Hero into their arms. A sigh of relief escapes Hero when Villain leaves a chaste kiss on their temple. Villain lowers their head, pressing their foreheads together and finally meeting Hero's lips.

Rule #6 Making out with the enemy is not a healthy coping strategy.

Oh well. When did Villain ever follow any rules?

Masterlist

[frownyalfred]

Obviously a public Batman identity reveal is huge and will have a massive impact on Gotham, but I like to think about the short list of Bruce Wayne’s employees who would go absolutely fucking bonkers when they find out that their employer was literally Batman. 

This list includes but is not limited to:

bodyguards/personal security (what do you MEAN we were protecting you and you knew jiu jitsu the whole time?)

any medical personnel who treated him or his family in the last ten years (missed some pretty obvious signs, in hindsight)

the guy who taught Bruce Wayne how to send Board materials at WE because he “didn’t know how” (he organizes the literal Justice League)

drivers/pilots/etc who found out that not only can Bruce Wayne actually drive shift after all, he’s also able to fly spaceships??

[bonesbugs]

Adrien takes full advantage of his face post-reveal

[tumble-witch]

Ladybug keeps finding excuses not to meet Chat Noir's good friend Marinette smh my head

[wanologic]

fortunately, or unfortunately, they only see each other like 3 times a year…

[peerlesshamster]

Okay hear me out.

Red Hood, Gotham's favorite crime lord, being called son by Brucie Wayne who is (for the first time by mistake) incredibly high and walking around Gotham like he doesn't know he's a high risk kidnappee.

The street might seem empty but Red Hood knows there's multiples eyes watching from the shadows, windows and any single space that can fit a person, he knows his Gotham well. And he knows it'd be impossible to silence so many witnesses of Gotham's Prince calling him his baby and whining "my jaylad please come home".

Of course next day social media is exploding with pictures of Red Hood carrying a happy looking Bruce Wayne on his shoulder to his bike, even a sequence of pictures before that showing how he went from looking pathetic and on the verge of tears to look like all his wishes were fulfilled next to a resigned looking criminal. #RedHoodIsJasonTodd? tag is trending on twitter #WayneIsBatmansEx alongside.

[rwsdarw]

pretend this is a good caption

[jattendschaton]

Ladybug and Chat Noir hosting a podcast where they're going to interview Adrien Agreste and so Adrien has to enlist Félix to pretend to be him and Félix gets to just. Make fun of Adrien to his face and to a national audience. Chat Noir keeps arguing with Félix’s Adrien about his own opinions so the next day all the news is about how much everyone thinks Chat Noir hates Adrien Agreste

[wagon-is-on-fire]

Blah... Blah.. Blah.. Billy's Identity gets revealed and he is a poor sad traumatized 12 year old.

lame. old. angst ridden. we get it

consider

Captain Marvel is the ONLY Leaguer that has his identity secret. This goes on for YEARS before anyone find out and he fully in his mid to late 20s. I want Billy to reveal his identity a solid 15 years into being a super and well into adulthood.

Picture Billy Batson 25 nice beard, his body filling out and looking older and mature. College graduate and everything. Maybe he works at WizRadio as a full on newscaster persona / reporter so people know his face. Or maybe he embraced the magical side and is a known magic user in Fawcett that people go to.

After the - what 15 year? (if u want him to be a founder) or 20 year anniversary for the Justice League Founding. He's finally gonna do it reveal who he is. And its just a random 28 year old guy whom has been in the Sups business for how long? wait! Hold on-! Someone crunch the numbers. (TESSA ANALYSIS!)

[zillychu]

me? redrawing my old shit?? its more likely than u think

[frownyalfred]

Enough with Lois being flattered and seduced by Bruce Wayne. I want Clark blushing like a school girl every time Bruce gets within ten feet, and Lois wants to know why.

So of course she sleeps with him. Mostly to prove to Clark that Wayne isn’t all that and a bag of snacks. A little bit because hey, Wayne isn’t exactly horrible to look at, even if her vibrator has more sentience.

And then, in the middle of trying to prove to Clark that there’s absolutely nothing to get flustered about, Wayne rocks her fucking world. Not once, not twice, not a fluke — all weekend. In between rounds she spots him doing the New York Times crossword in pen and decides it’s a hallucination.

She limps (happily) back to the office on Monday and when Clark brings up Bruce Wayne again, she keeps her mouth shut.

[damianwaynerocks]

batfamily as things my friend group has said/done:

bruce, 21 years old: “someone needs to talk me out of adopting a 17 year old bc i’m about to write a letter to the court” “bruce have you taken your meds today” “that’s unrelated.”

alfred: “i’d be worried if stephanie started dating someone who did meth because then she’d start doing meth”

dick: had to be hospitalized for eating nothing but microwave mac and cheese for two weeks straight

jason: “sorry i didn’t answer your call, i walked in on someone getting murdered last night and i felt pressured to intervene. i’m fine though. like concerningly fine. do we think this traces back to my father.”

tim: “sorry to call you at 2am but can i talk to you about nuclear terrorism? i think i just discovered russia’s secret weapon” (she did in fact discover it when we saw it hit the news six months later. she will not reveal how she discovered it)

duke: “i also know when jason is off his meds because he starts asking people to buy him hammers”

stephanie: accidentally heart reacted to someone texting her that they got roofied

cass: responded to someone confiding in her that they think they’re an alcoholic with the 😟 emoji

damian: accidentally told papa kent that he’s his favorite grandfather figure because “the spot opened up.” (the original one died)

[vodkartoons]

shadybug and claw noir

[mamawasatesttube]

the whole "jason rules crime alley and none of the other bats are allowed there!!1!" thing is so funny like. tim LITERALLY lives in the theater where bruce's parents died,

[mikeluciraphgabe]

Very public and an obviously not fake Batman is Bruce Wayne reveal

But Bruce simple acts like this never happened

_

Reporter: MR. WAYNE, MR. WAYNE, WHY HAVE YOU BEEN HIDING THE FACT YOU ARE A FOUNDING JUSTICE LEAGUE MEMBER?

Bruce, head tilt, eyes squinted: .. What is a “justice league”

-

Reporter: Mr. Wayne, prince and knight of Gotham-

Bruce: why would I be “night” of Gotham? I would be 3:24 pm at most

-

Gothamite: thank you for the save Batman… or Mr. Wayne… do I call you Batman in the suit and Mr. Wayne when you get coffee on Wednesdays?

Batman: *turning around slowly* what the fuck is a Mr. Wayne?

-

Villain: ah, Batman, or should I say BRUCE WAYNE-

Batman: *puffing up* WHO is this ‘Wayne’ and why is he impersonating me

[ghost-bxrd]

Prompt:

Dick Grayson is put on mandatory vacation by a concerned BPD and finds a plane ticket booked to Germany in his mail the next day.

(“I am concerned for you, master Richard,” Alfred says when he calls to tell him Bruce can shove his charity right up his- “please do indulge this old man and allow yourself a break?” He doesn’t deserve a break. He needs to keep working or he’s going to come apart at the seams just like Bruce and- “… okay, Alf. Okay.”)

And… it’s nice, Dick will admit. No looking over his shoulder every two seconds, no fear of missed calls, no vigilantes.

Only an idyllic landscape, the hustle and bustle of foreign cities, Jason-

Wait, JASON?