#source: the good place

[getting-spooky-on-a-friday-night]

Garcia: I know you're deflecting by making jokes about how hot you are- Evermore, sobbing: It's not a joke! I'm a legit snack...

[wicked-shitposts]

The Wizard, trying to convince Elphaba to help him: We’re doing one small murdery thing for a bigger, better reason. The ends justify the means!

[roseofithaca]

Robin: Alison is big stressed. She need to chillax.

Robin: Which is word I invent by combining "chill out" and "relax".

[incorrectbatfam]

Alfred: No one can ever truly turn over a new leaf. Sure, Master Bruce told me he'd matured after he took control of Wayne Enterprises. But then, right on schedule, it was, "Guess what, Alfred? I'm going to be Batman."

[hello-waffles-are-good]

Tim: Steph told me that instead of being sad, I should ‘Go get it, girl’.

Tim: So I am going to go get it, girl.

Cass: Get what?

Tim: Unclear… I’ll get everything, just to be safe.

[incorrecttwsted]

Submitted by @pippastrelle

[incorrect-bridgerton-family]

Francesca: Hyacinth told me that instead of being sad, I should ‘Go get it, girl’.

Francesca: So I am going to go get it, girl.

Eloise: Get what?

Francesca: Unclear… I’ll get everything, just to be safe.

[incorrectquotesmcu]

Bucky: Wanda, what do you value about Y/N?

Wanda: They’re thoughtful. They pick flowers and bring them to me. Often they’re ones I’ve just planted, but...

Y/N: That’s how I know they’re fresh!

[unicornblossom13]

Starscream: You’re mad at me.

Jetfire: I’m not mad, I’m just disappointed.

Starscream: Oh, come on! Everyone knows that’s worse!

[sayssnape]

dumbledore: sorry it took me so long to bail you out of jail.

snape: no, it was my fault. i shouldn't have used my one phone call to play a prank on minerva.

[incorrectgliyeraba]

Galinda: Elphaba, I know you wanna do that thing where we're arguing and fighting, but then suddenly it's like, "Whoa, this is hot," and we start making out. Dream on! Galinda: Or whatever. Fine. Let's just do it.

[definitelyincorrect]

Steve: I guess we’ll do this the old-fashioned way.

Bucky: -pulls out a Molotov cocktail-

Villain: How the fuck did you make that so fast.

[emmikay]

Odysseus: As my grandpa always used to say, “if the enemy handcuffs you to a bike rack there’s always something you can gnaw through.”

Menelaus: Your… grandpa... always said that?

[incorrectbatfam]

Jon: We can get mythical animals? Maybe I'll get a penguin.

Damian: Penguins are real.

Jon: That's the spirit, Damian!

[harringroveera]

Billy gets it, at least he will learn to from now on

[hazbinheard]

Husk: I know you're deflecting by making jokes about how hot you are

Angel: *tearfully* It's not a joke I'm a legit snack