#i need my independence i need to live on my own

[mapleandgingeroatmeal]

Alright! Rosie got the last one. Now it’s my turn. 

First off, credit where credit's due, I actually agree with you on the origin comic for the most part. Adding that first traumatic return to the backstory really undercuts the catharsis of the moment Veth finally returns to Yeza in Xhorhas and he embraces her unconditionally after all the built up tension of not knowing if he was going to, imo. This is the last place we agree unfortunately.

However, I have to tell you that nobody was actually misunderstanding you before. They got what you were saying, they just disagreed with it. It is such a gross misreading of the text to say that there is something fundamentally similar about how the two of them left their respective children behind. Sure they both did, but beyond that surface-level detail every piece of context that comes after is nearly opposite. Liliana made her own independent  choice to leave a place of safety, love, and security to fulfill her own needs without her child. Veth was kidnapped and tortured and in a moment of extreme duress made the ultimate sacrifice to allow her child to escape without her.

The “Hag thing” (and GOD I can’t believe we’re re-litigating this again) does not actually prove anything about Veth accept that she’s human and experiences temptation. She didn’t take a violent action. She thought about it briefly and experienced extreme guilt immediately afterwards. If anything, that proves how deeply UNLIKE Liliana she is. When presented with a very similar choice to knowingly sacrifice potentially hundreds of lives for the sake of solving her immediate personal problem, Veth makes the opposite choice that Liliana does. She prioritizes the safety of the world. She does so a SECOND time with Halas in the happy fun ball in fact. Don’t you think Liliana would have made both of those deals in a heartbeat?  

The argument that Veth should have done more to be immediately at her husband and son’s side feels to me to be deeply rooted in this very misogynistic idea that to be the best mother possible a woman must be entirely present with her whole self for a child no matter what. What do you think would have happened, comics aside, if Veth had come home as a goblin to a town that hated the way she looked? Would You have just hid her in the basement for the rest of her life? And Luc was with the goblins too, you know. Would you want her to try and parent him using the face of the creatures who tortured and starved him? It would have done nothing but retraumatize both of them. There was never really any choice there. She made every effort she could to parent from a distance, anyway; remember the first act she makes once she has some real money in Zedash is to send it home to Luc. She also works her hardest, as you even said, to do everything in her power to get herself back as soon as possible. Would you rather her sitting meekly at home hiding in the basement, living a life of fear and secrecy, in a body she hates, hoping that some day her husband or someone else will wander by and save her?

I don’t even know what to say about the parenting stuff. Is she a dreadful parent because sometimes she goes and does other things? Because she’s not quiet and gentle and sweet with Luc? Because she’s occasionally honest about how difficult and exhausting parenting a traumatized teenager can be, especially if you have an indulgent streak out of guilt after missing years of his childhood to tragedy and circumstance? Because if you think those things make you a dreadful parent than I’m telling you now that more than half the moms in this world are going to deeply disappoint you. 

If the Good Moms of Critical Role ever learn about the shit Liliana's pulled it's on sight 😤

[kyoshitargaryen]

a neurodivergent breakdown of the 3D and 4D for manifesting + shifting

key: 3D — the physical world, what you experience in your current reality, intrusive thoughts, emotions ; 4D — imagination, visualization / affirmation for manifestations and desired realities, intentional thoughts, beliefs

table of contents — brief explanation of 3D and 4D – living in the 4D – on belief (and believing even when you don't believe) – decentring the 3D – participating in the 3D

for the longest time, I couldn't grasp how to participate in the 3D without feeling as though I was invalidating or preventing my manifestations. I'm not gonna lie, this was most likely my autism skewing my view.

I naturally have a very black-and-white, rigid way of thinking. many neurodivergent people do, and if you're one of us, or maybe you need a little confirmation that what you're doing is right, stick around for an easy (or easier?) to grasp explanation.

brief explanation of the 3D and 4D

the 3D and the 4D are intimately tied together, with the 3D being a dependent variable and the 4D being an independent one

dependent variable — a variable (denoted by y) whose value is determined by that of another independent variable — a variable (denoted by x) whose value is being changed on its own, not by the influence of another variable

in other words, the 4D is the cause, and the 3D is the effect. if you follow the law of assumption and neville goddard, you've likely heard the quote "consciousness is the only reality." as in, the things we pay attention to, shape our reality. neville goddard says that our reality — the people we interact with, the things we experience, the opportunities given to us — are directly tied to and mirror our subconscious.

living in the 4D

just like a knot can be tied, our reality can be both made and unmade. the 3D is pliable and moldable. in order to do so, we must live in the 4D, as in, live in imagination.

living in imagination isn't simply daydreaming about what you wish to manifest, it's about actively embodying the perception of already having your desire.

if I were to want to manifest being an incredible singer, I would act as though I were, even if in reality my singing could break eardrums. I would sing my favourite songs without worrying about whether or not I was good, because I already know that I am great.

since the 4D directly causes change to the 3D, it is what we do and believe in imagination that will be reflected in reality. what we believe is what we get. if I were to be insecure and believe that I were a terrible singer, the 3D would show me that I was a terrible singer.

living in the 4D means we cannot focus on getting our desire in the 3D, as that would be pedestaling the 3D and grounding yourself in it. just like you cannot centre men in your life as a woman for the sake of your emotional health and self-esteem, you cannot centre the 3D for the sake of your manifestations.

on belief + believing even when you don't believe

this was a really difficult concept for me to grasp. how can I believe in something when I know it's not true? how can I fake a belief?

it's actually terribly easy to. the first step to believing when you don't believe is persistence.

have you ever had an ironic inside joke with your friends, or just did something ironically? I guarantee you, over time it became a natural part of your life, your vocabulary, your mannerisms. that's because your subconscious doesn't know when you're kidding. your subconscious is probably more autistic than you are, in that it will take what you say or do at face value and apply it to your personality. (really makes you think about how often self-deprecating jokes aligns with poor mental health, huh?)

that's why persistence is key. even if at first you don't believe, continue to enforce the idea that you do until it actually manifests within your mind.

decentring the 3D

I came up with this idea after hearing about the feminist concept of decentring men.

what is decentring men?

the concept of decentring men is to turn away from patriarchal and male-centric perspectives and beliefs, instead turning inward and focusing on your own wants, wishes, desires, and needs. instead of looking for validation through men or other social means, you simply validate yourself. where you may have valued the social norm or others, you instead place yourself at the centre of your own life.

how can we decentre the 3D?

just like the patriarchy has taught us to seek validation from external factors like men, the world has taught us to find validation in what is right in front of us — the 3D.

like decentring men, we must learn how to find satisfaction and validation in the 4D instead of seeking instant gratification from the 3D. there are many ways to do this, including;

understanding that you are in fact in your DR / already have your manifestations

it's agreed that time is not linear, it is simply that our brain processes it as such. even if you do not personally believe in shifting or the multiverse, it has been widely agreed that time moves in all directions, not just forward. by that reasoning, you already have your desire, and you're already in your desired reality, because events exist even when our brains have not yet processed them.

take the 3D as though it were someone doubting you

have you ever expressed a dream, desire, aspiration to someone, only to be told you could never do it or it's not possible? think of the 3D as being the same way. what do you do then?

prove them wrong. brush it off your shoulders. read my post about how to do this here.

Schrödinger's Cat — understanding that you are in your DR until you allow yourself to view otherwise

Schrödinger's cat is a thought experiment that boils down to the fact that we cannot guarantee an outcome if we do not experience it, i.e. a quantum superposition, which is the principal that something can exist or be represented by multiple values (or outcomes).

the cat is both alive and dead on a quantum level, until we observe an outcome. a path has not yet been carved until we align ourselves to one. you may benefit from my post on the butterfly effect and how it validates shifting and infinite realities, which you can read here.

close your eyes. you are both in your desired reality and your original reality until you prove to yourself otherwise, as in, opening your eyes. at the same time, thanks to infinite realities, you are both in your desired reality, your original reality, and infinite more until you choose to become aware of one singular reality.

when you choose to shift, you are in your desired reality until you allow yourself to come back to your original reality, by quitting. lean into that knowledge — allow yourself to truly feel that when you visualize, affirm, or try to shift to your DR, you are genuinely there. find validation and satisfaction in that. allow yourself to say I shifted whenever you do those things.

as to how you can let yourself say you've shifted when in terms of the 3D, you haven't — that's what the next section is all about.

participating in the 3D

how can we live in the 4D, find satisfaction in the 4D, all without abandoning the 3D? how can we participate in the 3D without forsaking our manifestations?

have you ever been in a situation where you know something, but the other person doesn't know that you know it? let's say you want to hear this person's unfiltered perspective, without justifications or explanations, to see what they add or leave out. you may act shocked to find out information you already knew, angry on their behalf when you know it is them who is actually in the wrong, or confused when you actually aren't.

do exactly that with the 3D, treat it like you would a lying friend or boyfriend when you want to collect all information. you can still be honest about the events in the 3D and your experience with them while also not letting them influence your internal world and 4D.

you don't and shouldn't post success stories publicly if you haven't done them in the 3D, but you can absolutely allow yourself such within your own mind. keep 3D events in the 3D, and keep 4D events in the 4D.

in the 3D, I'm an awful singer and will admit so, but within the 4D and my own mind, I am brilliant and beautiful.

living in the 4D doesn't mean to lie, it just means to compartmentalize your actions in the 3D and the 4D into separate boxes. this includes allowing yourself to feel emotions like frustration, sadness, doubt. let yourself feel them, let them pass, and then realign with your manifestations.

treat the 3D as though it were friend group one, where you act one way, and treat the 4D as if it were friend group two, where you act a different way.

treat your 4D self as though it were the 3D's child, and your 3D self as though it were the 4D's parent. you wouldn't want your child to see you sad, angry, or scared. you wouldn't want your child to see you feeling like things were out of control or not guaranteed. you would instead excuse yourself to a private moment, feel everything you need to in your own presence, and then return to your child more assured. make your child feel as though its dreams are guaranteed and already there. preserve your child's joy, belief, and innocence. do all of that for the 4D.

that's all for now! I hope this helps you all as much as it has helped me

yoshi!!

[megroha]

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[luxaofhesperides]

For ghostlights: baby Ellie + tired Danny + Duke the baby whisperer?

He has no idea how his parents did it. 

Babies are exhausting. Toddlers more so. Any infants in the strange stage in-between? Doubly so. 

Ellie is wonderful and sweet and cute and such a terror that Danny genuinely has no idea how his parents managed to raise not one, but two kids. For all their eccentricities and absent-mindedness, he and Jazz turned out pretty well. Ignoring the whole halfa thing because that’s more his fault than theirs even if Jazz says they shouldn’t have created the dangerous environment in the first place.

That environment is exactly why Danny refuses to let Ellie go to his house in Amity Park. His parents say they’ve disabled all the weapons and ecto-sensors since he’s had to reveal himself as Phantom, but he knows that things slip their minds and if they can’t guarantee that the house is safe, then Ellie isn’t going in there. Simple as that. 

This means that they live somewhere else now. Danny had thought about it, during the hours Ellie was asleep and he was awake, exhausted and worn down to his bones, and took Jazz’s advice to accept Vlad’s offer of buying a house for him. Except he argued Vlad down to an apartment in a city of his choosing where he wouldn’t stand out too much and he would be safe, or as safe as he can be, from anyone trying to hunt down ghosts. 

So here they are. Standing in the empty living room of their new apartment in Gotham. 

Gotham may not be very safe as a city, but it’s good for two ghosts trying to pass as normal. 

Danny sighs yet again, and looks at the space he’ll need to fill. At least Vlad is footing the bill. It’s the least he can do for creating Ellie. Frostbite was the one who was able to stabilize her, though it was almost too late and resulted in her reforming as a baby, just one and a half years old. Jazz is the one who’s choosing most of the furniture, thankfully, so it’s something that Danny doesn’t need to worry about it.

It’s a new start to their lives and it feels so empty. So overwhelming. How did his parents do it? How do any parents do it?

Ellie smacks a small palm against his cheek and babbles lightly.

“I know, Ellie,” Danny says, giving her a tired smile. “Don’t worry, we’ll have this place looking good in no time.”

He adjusts her in his arms, then heads towards the bedroom. It’s the only room that has any furniture, and all that’s there is a bed, a crib, and a bookcase. There are a few boxes on the floor, labeled ‘bedroom’ and ‘clothing’ and ‘books’. Most of it came from his bedroom in Amity Park, but he’s pretty sure he caught Jazz sneaking a few things in before they closed the boxes and loaded them up into the car. 

“Can you be good for five minutes?” he asks Ellie. 

She babbles again and smacks his shoulder.

“I’m taking that as an agreement. Just let me open these boxes and start unpacking before you start causing trouble, okay?”

Ellie makes another sound, but it seems agreeable so Danny carefully lays her down in the crib and gets to peeling off the tape on the boxes. The opens the one labeled ‘bedroom’ first, finding blankets and sheets folded and stacked in vacuum sealed bags. One of them is his old childhood blanket, the one he carried around everywhere that was faded with age, barely blue, with white bunnies decorating it. 

He was so small when he had this. It makes him oddly emotional to unpack it and pass it on to Ellie, draping it over her so her pudgy little hands can grab at it. 

This is no time to cry, though! He forces himself to focus and makes his own bed, shaking out the sheets and fluffing up the pillows. He’ll worry about washing everything later; Vlad made sure to get an apartment with an in-unit washer and dryer, which means he was actually sensible while apartment hunting for Danny. 

He doesn’t mean to flop onto the bed once it’s made, but he ends up there anyways. He’s barely gotten a full six hours of uninterrupted sleep since Frostbite deemed Ellie healthy enough to leave his care. The drive up to Gotham was long and wore him down to his bones.

He doesn’t mean to fall asleep, but he does, drifting off as he wonders, distantly, when Jazz will be back from getting them dinner.

Ellie wakes him up at dawn with a loud cry. Danny jolts awake, heart pounding in his chest as he panics because Ellie isn’t here, she’s supposed to be in his arms, where is she? And then he sees the crib, where Ellie is staring at him through the bars, and he nearly collapses with relief. 

“Morning, El,” he says, voice rough from sleep, as he picks her up. She just stares up at him, then leans forward and rests her head against his shoulder.

It’s quiet moments like these that make his heart melt. Ellie’s had a hard life already; he wants to give her a better one, this time around. 

A quick check of the time on his nearly dead phone shows that it’s barely past six in the morning, and Jazz texted him a few times. All about furniture, saying that she didn’t want to wake them and that food is in the fridge. 

It’s only the mention of food that makes him realize how ravenous he’s feeling. Danny makes a beeline for the kitchen, ignoring everything else, and pulls out the boxes of take-out Jazz left stacked in the fridge. He devours it like he’s been starving for weeks, then gives Ellie her Ecto-Jello, the only food she’s allowed to eat until Frostbite gives the okay for solid, human food. 

Once he’s got her burped and cleaned up, Danny looks out of the kitchen and realizes that Jazz was very productive while he was asleep. The living room isn’t empty anymore; a dark green couch is against the wall, a low, rectangular coffee table made of dark wood in front of it. Two armchairs are on both sides of the couch, and a television has been installed, fixed into the wall. 

Jazz is asleep on the couch. Her legs hang off an armrest and she’s drooling slightly. 

Her phone is charging on the floor, so Danny takes it and snaps a picture of her for later teasing, then sends it to himself and writes a note to her that he’s going out with Ellie to explore the neighborhood.

He’s finally feeling more settled, energized from sleep and food.

In the warm dawn light spilling in through the windows, Danny looks down at Ellie and thinks that they’ll be just fine after all. 

. . .

Four months ago, Danny had hope. He was optimistic. 

Gotham was a fresh start, a new lease of life for Ellie. It is Danny’s attempt to be a single parent, sacrificing college for Ellie, and he’s planning to go out and beat the gangs black and blue if they start anymore shootouts in the next year.

He had just gotten Ellie to sleep. She was actually peacefully taking a nap.

And then a drive by shooter raced down the street, gunshots echoing down the road, and Ellie work up crying. She still hasn’t stopped, despite how Danny rocked her, soothing her as best he could.

They had been outside when Ellie fell asleep, her head on his shoulder. He had been catching up with Sam and Tucker when the car drove by, people ducking and crying out to avoid the bullets. Danny instinctively covered Ellie and made them both intangible, saving them from any stray bullets, but they ruined her nap and he needs to make them pay for that. 

“Shh,” he soothes, “You’re okay. We’re both fine. It’s okay, El, it’s okay.” 

Her little hands clutch at his back, twisting the fabric of his shirt, and she lets out a heartbreaking wail. He pats her back, hurrying down the street to get back to his apartment building, ignoring the looks people were giving them as they passed by. 

“I know it was scary, but you’re alright. You’re always safe with me, El.”

Ellie’s cries down down a little, but they don’t stop. She whimpers, burying her face against his shoulder as he finally reaches their apartment building.

The door’s locked, which wouldn’t be a problem except Danny can’t get his keys from his pocket. He knows he has them! But his pocket refuses to relinquish them and he has to stop every few seconds to pat Ellie’s back, trying in vain to calm her down. 

“We’ll be inside in a second,” he tells her, trying to keep the frustration out of his voice, “as soon as I can get these freaking keys!”

“Hey, you alright?”

Danny startles, whirling around so fast it makes Ellie go quiet, clinging to him so she doesn’t get flung into the air. There’s a guy standing before him in a gray hoodie, looking at him with clear concern. It speaks to Danny’s level of constant exhaustion that he hadn’t clocked someone sneaking up behind him. 

The guy offers an awkward smile. “Sorry, didn’t mean to scare you or anything. Um, do you need me to open to door? I live here too.”

Danny wonders for a moment if this someone dangerous, someone hoping to hurt Ellie, but she starts to cry again and he steps to the side. “Please. I can’t get my keys.”

“I’m Duke, by the way. I don’t think I’ve seen you around here before.”

“Danny,” he replies, watching as Duke pulls out a large key ring, jangling with the amount of keychains on it, and easily opens the door. “I’ve been here a few months, but I’m usually inside. Or walking around in the mornings with this little monster.”

“That would explain it,” Duke says as he holds the door open, letting Danny in first. “I’m usually in classes at GCU, but I decided to take a mental health day after my lab, so here I am.”

Danny walks in and waits for Duke to follow, making sure the door closes properly behind them. “Thanks. How is GCU? What do you study? I was thinking of going there myself once she gets a little older and can go to school.”

“Oh, I’m majoring in English and Human Services.” He goes to say more, but Ellie wails again and Danny winces.

“I’m so sorry. That drive by woke her up and it’s really rattled her.”

“Hey, no need to apologize. I get it, Gotham is rough to kids.”

Danny tries rocking her back and forth, but it doesn’t help. He resigns himself to another hour of her crying before she exhausts herself, and makes for the stairs, going up to the fourth floor. Duke holds open the door again, then follows after them. It makes Danny wonder if Duke is planning to do something to them, then decides he can beat Duke in a fight, so it’s fine.

Duke doesn’t try to hurt them or steal Ellie away. He opens the door to their floor and stops before they do. “I’m in here,” he says, “If you ever need me to open more doors.”

“Thanks. Um, actually, I might need help opening mine?”

Duke just smiles and makes his way back to them, following them farther into the hall until Danny stops in front of his apartment. 

“If I could just get my keys,” he starts.

“Here, let me hold her for a second so you can get them,” Duke offers. Danny wants to insist that it’s fine, but Ellie cries directly into his ear and Danny, at the end of his rope, passes her over. 

Like magic, Ellie settles as soon as she’s in Duke’s arms. She sniffles and hides her face away, clutching to Duke’s hoodie, but she stops crying. They both go still, surprised, and stare down at her. 

“Seriously?” Danny says as he finally pulls out his keys, “Are you trying to say that I’m the problem?”

Ellie babbles lightly, and Duke turns his head to futilely hide his grin.

He grumbles as he unlocks the door and pushes it open. Ellie is acting as if she’s never been upset before a day in her life, making herself at home in Duke’s arms. 

“I can’t believe this. Betrayed by my own blood.”

Duke laughs as he follows Danny into his apartment, lightly patting Ellie’s back. “It’s always the smallest, cutest ones that do this.”

“Yeah? Do you work with a lot of kids or something? Used to being betrayed by the little ones?”

“I don’t work with kids per se,” Duke says, “But my foster family is a hot mess and the youngest of them likes to keep us all on our toes.”

“Family,” Danny says in a tired, fond tone.

“Family,” Duke agrees.

With his door open and Ellie calm, Danny’s ready to just lay face down on the floor for the rest of the day and not deal with anything else. He moves to take Ellie back, holding his arms out, and Duke tries to pass her over.

The key word being tries. 

Ellie tightens her grip and kicks at Danny. She refuses to be taken away from Duke, making him awkwardly try to pry her off his hoodie. Danny really hopes Duke doesn’t notice how she goes slightly intangible to make his hands fall through her arms and legs. It shouldn’t be noticeable, but it’s hard to focus on anything but a kid that clings to you, so Danny holds out for Duke’s goodwill and silence.

“As nice as it is to meet you, you need to go back to your… parent?” Danny nods when Duke looks at him in askance. “You need to go back to your parent. Okay? Come on, kid, he’s waiting for you.”

Ellie shakes her head, makes a frustrated noise, and then turns and reaches out a grabby hand towards Danny. 

She still refuses to be taken from Duke when Danny tries to pick her up again, so he settles with just letting her hold two of his fingers. 

“I’m so sorry about this,” he says to Duke, face burning. This is why he hasn’t been going out and being social since he moved in; Ellie is a handful even on the best days, and Danny doesn’t want someone to judge him as unfit to parent her and have her taken away.

Duke shakes his head, stepping closer. “It’s all good, man. I don’t mind. It’s not like I had any plans today. I’m already skipping my classes, might as well spend it with you two than sleep all day.”

“Are you sure? I’d be happy to invite you in, but I know Ellie can be a lot and not everyone wants to spend their day off with a baby.”

“I’m sure. Besides, I’d just be down the hall anyways. It’s no skin off my back, man.”

“Well,” Danny says, stepping to the side to give Duke full access to his open doorway, “Come on in, then.”

Ellie keeps them connected, one hand in Duke’s hoodie and the other holding Danny’s fingers, and though her cheeks are still red from how hard she had been crying, she’s calm now with her eyes shining with mischief. 

As the door closes behind them, Danny realizes that this is the first time someone he’s not related to has been inside his apartment. Not even Vlad has come in, always choosing to invite Danny and Ellie out for lunch instead. 

It should make him nervous, but Duke is calm and easy going and kind. 

He’s making silly faces at Ellie to make her laugh, completely at ease with her in his arms, as if he’s done this a thousand times before. 

Gotham is a second chance at life for Ellie. It’s a sacrifice for Danny, to be alone and without friends or family around. He’d been ready to give up everything for Ellie, to focus solely on raising her, but with Duke filling his apartment with laughter, he thinks that he can make a life here too.

All he needs to do is take that first step, reach his hand out, ask Duke to stick around.

He can do this.

[the-red-hoodlum]

killing people who don’t get an animals consent before touching them &/or ignore when animals are visibly uncomfortable with being touched.

[einsatzzz]

art time-lapse of this piece that i posted in IG b4 to try out doing reels. i really like how this turned out overall plus "yasashii suisei" (link for eng tl) really fit the vibes so im queueing this here too

[selfinflictedgunshotwound]

sorry for only saying this type of shit lately but i kinda wanna drive a car straight into a brick wall at the highest speed possible

[sysig]

Sick threads where’d you get ‘em (Patreon)

[electricpurrs]

me and my (also trans) brother have been coming up with plans for us both move to together to another (bigger, far away) city next year for college, since our parents really want us to go to college, and my mom seemed fine with the plan as long as we could get in to study. and god. i wish i could have someone to pray to because just thinking about it. both me and my brother escaping our stupid parents, this stupid town, living together and helping each other, us both already out to each other. i don't even know what college id go to or what i want to study or where the hell are we going i just want it to happen so, so bad. i have no idea how doable that is but i want to transition so so much. i want to step foot in our new apartment after we move and immediately get my first T shot. god i just want to change my life. i want to change it so much it makes me sick

[sataara]

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[paranormeow7]

me when I didn’t get the good at math autism or the good at art autism or even the obsessing over fictional men autism instead I got the apathy autism. the too much executive dysfunction to even do the things that make me happy autism. the social anxiety to the point where shooting a quick dm to someone carries the weight of the world autism. the unable to express emotion or communicate properly to the point where it ruins my relationships because people think I don’t give a shit about them when there is so much care inside me that my brain will not let me express autism

[girlivealwaysbean]

it would feel so nice to work towards a career that has meaningful impact and makes millions of people happy

[monstermp3]

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[agayconcept]

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[lucyvaleheart]

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[spookykestrel]

The worst part about not going to college is there not being an easy time to move out